"Can you imagine if you tried to woo somebody with like a bunch of flowers and a stray cat you brought?" Sure I can. I've got pictures of both on this watch I'm wearing. You want to see my kitty?
I hope Bull's one of those characters that just kind of appears everywhere with a new job each time. Like, next you see him he's a hotdog vendor or a plumber.
After so long, I'm so glad to see another Wrongpurae. I greatly prefer them to most of your other work types, even those that you've done lately! I mean, those are nice, but these are still more amusing and engaging to watch, in my humble opinion. I can't wait to see where this goes, and what sort of commentary you all have for it! Thanks for uploading, Retsupurae!
I still can't get over Slowbeef thinking the cop and the bar owner are not the same person. When Jock talks with Bull over the phone, they clearly state that he's retiring next year and has a bar. The bar they meet up.
Kinda wish you'd do more longplays of regular games, but I'll take what I can get :D Glad these aren't over and done with. Longplay commentary really is what I come to this channel for.
"Could you imagine trying to woo somebody with a bunch of flowers and a stray cat?" Hey, don't mock the method. I hear they have whole watches dedicated to doing that these days.
So the Villain's name is Snowman and his henchmen are named Icepick, I.C. (icey) and Bear possibly of the Polar variety? Is he a Batman villain from the 60's tv show or something?
Oh I was hoping you would do this game. Also, spoiler alert, that latex outfit Tracy Scoogins wears on the title screen? Never wears it in the actual game.
Slowbeef should stop bringing his wife in any of all her forms, voices and personalities that seem to shift constantly as much as their names and style of humor.
Its like a 90's Google Maps Street View adventure game, which sounds actually interesting but implemented poorly in a point and click really it just makes pixel hunting for items even more tedious and disorienting.
"How many shirts does this guy have!?" You see? This is what happens when you repeat the same clip over and over again. It raises very important questions like this.
"Hey, I like what you've done with the place." "Figured I'd change it up a little, go with a '90s hacker' look for a while to match my Netscape Navigator." "It suits you." Also, is it just me, or is www.li.sound.org the only site on the Net? It's got email, environmentalism, and a rather dead chat room.
Going off the assumption that "x surprise lk her birthday" means "a surprise on her birthday" I've proceeded to decode the Snowman's message: " My, youre right. Lara Calabreze is getting too close. If she finds out about Rockslide, could cause trouble. Maybe we can scare her off. No point in eliminating an ada unless we have to. If that doesnt work well send her a surprise on her birthday."
That's more effort and smarts than the protagonist will show at any point in the longplay. In every puzzle and plot point that I remember, his actions solve the problem half-way at best.
This game just gave me an idea for an amazing kickstarter pitch: typewriter keyboards. It's like a regular keyboard but every time you hit a key it makes a loud and obnoxious typewriter key sound. 750 grand here I come!
My theory: The actors they hired were mostly pornstars, or former pornstars. The main character, especially, gives me some "my daddy told us not to be ashamed of our dicks"-vibe. Look out!
3:20 I'm loving this google streetview gameplay mechanic! 10:32 Oh god, that's the best "tough guy" name I've ever heard. 12:44 This is way too schlock a production for them to not kill Bull off now that he's said this.
Ah, World Of Longplays Dot Org! Hello, old friend! It's been far too long! PS. Are you sure that's not your wife, Slowbeef? I mean, she's woman in a video. Doesn't that automatically make her your wife? Because that's how I thought it worked.
The sad thing is that this is one of the best acted and set up FMV games I've ever seen. It looks like this game company actually spent some money on and put some effort into this game unlike most companies of the day who tried to make these types of games. Most companies saw CD roms and thought, "COOL! We can have movies in our game!!" and then realized that they'd have to pay writers and actors and pay to have sets and just said, "To hell with that!!" and just wrote the script themselves in ten minutes and put painted cardboard from the dumpster up as the set. Then they yelled out to the bums on the street, "Hey! Want to be in a video game! Come up here and read a couple lines! We'll give you five dollars!"
+dejablue88 There was another JF game? I assumed the creator just gave up on the series in the middle of the story. Seems like that's the MO for most flash games.
Fuck yes, another wrongpurae at last. I've never heard of this one, but based on the title I assume it's about a dogsled team that solves crimes. Don't disappoint me, 3DO.
I think Bull and our detective friend actually are two different people, just played by the same guy. I'm guessing the detective friend will never appear in person for that reason. Also, it's good to see you back to doing longplays.
11:03 C'mon Wires, you've been on Geocities for at LEAST the last eleven minutes and your chair is starting to glitch! Also, the music in the strip club, they must've desperately wanted ZZ Top.
"That is not my wife" Slowbeef predicting the internet will now assume everyone he works with is his spouse since he's been doing Wifestream? Nobody told him that happened with him and Betus before then?
"Rumor has it old man Retsupurae hid away his vast fortune somewhere before he died. They say that only his true heir can find it after riffing on every FMV game ever made. No one knows who that heir is, but I've heard tales of a certain bumbling upstart from Joisy with a heart of gold..."
+Jabbergeist The old man's last words were "It's buried under a big 'thriddy-o'". Decoding their meaning has caused much speculation and at least four best-selling titles have been published advocating different interpretations.
I actually like that the typed keys sound are accurate to where they are on the screen. pretty advanced for the time, imo Wow this really feels like it was a half decent movie someone butchered and turned into a videogame.
If the crossword were a clue to the password, I would have expected the password to be NEPTUNE, the planet which isn't mentioned in the puzzle. (Earth is mentioned in a clue, and the others appear as answers.)
It's a 3DO game. I feel that your expectations are slightly unrealistic here. In the sense that your expectations make....well, a lot of sense. Can't have that on the 3DO.
A new wrongpurae that wasn't announced at any of the conventions they did? Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty stoked, but they really need to get started on Hell: A Cyberpunk Adventure!
I am so happy to see a proper retsupurae. I love Kickstarter Nonstarters and Dahir Insaat but these games are awesome to watch. Hopefully this will be as good as urban runner.
Some pissbaby was whining in another video about having Slowbeef's wife on the video, when in reality it was Cherrydoom and the poster was just bashing Slowbeef's personal channel b/c of wifestreams. I can't remember the video, but the comment & thread is ridiculously painful to read.
"Can you imagine if you tried to woo somebody with like a bunch of flowers and a stray cat you brought?"
Sure I can. I've got pictures of both on this watch I'm wearing. You want to see my kitty?
Throw in some coffee out of your phone and I'm yours.
0:47 "Tracy Scoggins, hello?" makes me smile because it's such a pure MST3K moment.
"That is not my wife."
For fuck sake, I wish Betus and Slowbeef would just get engaged already, stop teasing the poor guy, Beef!
*Insert Slowbeef and Diabetus making out while unfitting music plays*
Beetus has that unrequited love thing going on it's pretty beautiful.
Aeio Uy
Careless Whisper is not "unfitting" you piece of shit
+xRequiem666 Do you think he stands outside Slowbeef's house with a boom box playing KQ5's Town Theme sometimes? ;)
this is a beautiful image and is now my headcanon.
I love these from you guys. Always a blast and a half.
Some of your best work is just riffing on stuff like this or Ambition, Town With No Name, etc.
I hope Bull's one of those characters that just kind of appears everywhere with a new job each time. Like, next you see him he's a hotdog vendor or a plumber.
Thanks for letting us experience the crossword puzzle in full stereo glory, slowbeefu!
The last time I was this early
this joke wasn't fucked into the ground
If it was fucked into the ground 8 years ago, I can only imagine where it's been fucked in 2024
After so long, I'm so glad to see another Wrongpurae. I greatly prefer them to most of your other work types, even those that you've done lately! I mean, those are nice, but these are still more amusing and engaging to watch, in my humble opinion.
I can't wait to see where this goes, and what sort of commentary you all have for it! Thanks for uploading, Retsupurae!
I still can't get over Slowbeef thinking the cop and the bar owner are not the same person. When Jock talks with Bull over the phone, they clearly state that he's retiring next year and has a bar. The bar they meet up.
Slowbeef has that Egoraptor mindset of "can't follow instructions, so the game must be bad".
Kinda wish you'd do more longplays of regular games, but I'll take what I can get :D
Glad these aren't over and done with. Longplay commentary really is what I come to this channel for.
Why do I feel that every new area needs to be greeted with a Seinfeld bass riff?
I love the PG strippers. Yeah baby, stand there and kinda wiggle a little bit
Dammit Beetus I was drinking at the thanks for the kiss part.
At least the paralyzed guy isn't named Wheels.
He was actually shot in the mustache.
Wheels and the Legman.
They were gonna call him Ironside
Bow bikka bow ba bow ba bow bow ba BANNANANA! BANNANANA!
"Could you imagine trying to woo somebody with a bunch of flowers and a stray cat?" Hey, don't mock the method. I hear they have whole watches dedicated to doing that these days.
Ah, I remember when using the internet was like this. I went through so many rolls of ink ribbon.
We're urban-running again, boys! Kiss Fragmaster on the head and fire up the internets! We got cups to assemble and crosswords to solve.
Don't you mean ping our webrings?
Read all about it in the New York Contributor, printed out at the local high school A/V club!
+Doyle Harken that sounds like something that could land you in the medicock
Look, just give some chocolate to your black friend at the Pleasure Dome, he'll help keep you out of trouble.
Watch out for wampyres, though.
Oh no she told the internet she's unmarried, here come all the fedoras tipping.
Nah, she's way outta their league. I hear that dame has *class*.
Excuse me, it's called a trilby, thank you.
How come when I tell people on the internet I'm unmarried, women don't swarm me?
+Washu Hakubi because we haven't heard your sultry voice, Washu.
+Washu Hakubi Maybe if more women wore a special hat.....
So the Villain's name is Snowman and his henchmen are named Icepick, I.C. (icey) and Bear possibly of the Polar variety? Is he a Batman villain from the 60's tv show or something?
Either that, or they're a group of male strippers.
Those are not mutually exclusive.
Ironically, he's probably an arsonist.
They are associated with Freiza from DBZ.
Shitty FMV games really is the gift that keeps giving.
I just can't wait for the Urban Runner/Snow Job crossover fighting game!
Playing a fighting game where time inexplicably skips back and forth could be frustrating.
The best thing is that there doesn't seem to be any end to them!
yay more 90s long plays
honestly it's my favorite you guys do
"How long have you been straight?"
That's a little personal, buddy. I guess it WAS the 90s...
I couldn't believe they didn't make a joke to that effect in the video.
"I've been pokin around the internet, man, and I tell ya, sometimes you just come across the damnedest things. Y'ever see this somethin awful thing?"
"They got this one area where you watch people play video games. Who wants to watch that?"
Oh I was hoping you would do this game. Also, spoiler alert, that latex outfit Tracy Scoogins wears on the title screen? Never wears it in the actual game.
Cherrydoom made me giggle 3 times before the three minute mark. I like. Keep!
These three are awesome together.
For real I really wish they did more content as a trio
This is fun but Mystery of the Druids is where they really gel imo
2:46 you can't convince me that that guy is not Freddy Mercury
Oh my god, this is the Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 font
Meet n Fuck 3DO. Now my laptop is full of snow.
TMI!
I would implant an embryo into his head as a birthday gift. I'll do it while he is asleep.
Lets be honest. That would be Plumbers don't wear ties.
Huh, Google Street View now covers messy 90's apartments. Neat!
Google home invasion, the latest version!
yeah pokemon go is doing wonders for that
"Ah Wires, your heroic name. So you're the justice here."
"I have authority"
"That was the greatest show I've ever seen."
Slowbeef should stop bringing his wife in any of all her forms, voices and personalities that seem to shift constantly as much as their names and style of humor.
slowbeef's wife: an extradimensional entity known by many monikers, adopting many guises
somebody needs to edit that picture of dawkins to say "we are all slowbeef's wife"
+grenadier42
slowbeef married Solaris?!
Well I heard that Slowbeef married a... a _girl_! And we don't want any of that over here!
slowbeef's wife is the 5th dimensional being form Interstellar confirmed
is that damehasclass? oh my god, she is such a peach!
Wow this is the first wrongpurae in a while. Hope you REESTABLISH CAMARADERIE
Can you guys just do every FMV game? I'm legit happy when I see one pop up in my sub.
this dang wacky Toe Jam and Earl like soundtrack oh my god
Bob Saget is wheelchair bound and a computer expert
Its like a 90's Google Maps Street View adventure game, which sounds actually interesting but implemented poorly
in a point and click really it just makes pixel hunting for items even more tedious and disorienting.
"How many shirts does this guy have!?" You see? This is what happens when you repeat the same clip over and over again. It raises very important questions like this.
That music in the "sexy" scene in the intro totally struck me as very, very Earthbound.
bluelblock Was gonna comment "What is this, an Earthbound battle?" myself
"Hey, I like what you've done with the place."
"Figured I'd change it up a little, go with a '90s hacker' look for a while to match my Netscape Navigator."
"It suits you."
Also, is it just me, or is www.li.sound.org the only site on the Net? It's got email, environmentalism, and a rather dead chat room.
Weird: take out that dot in the middle and I get the site for a Chinese hearing-aid manufacturer.
what did Neptune ever do to you crossword puzzle?
I will be dead in the cold, hard ground before I acknowledge Neptune!
Slow down there Chronos, your gonna have to acknowledge those sons.
Tracy Scoggins left Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman for this?!
Going off the assumption that "x surprise lk her birthday" means "a surprise on her birthday" I've proceeded to decode the Snowman's message:
"
My, youre right. Lara Calabreze is getting too close. If she
finds out about Rockslide, could cause trouble. Maybe we can scare her off. No point in eliminating an ada unless we have to. If that doesnt work well send her a surprise on her birthday."
That's more effort and smarts than the protagonist will show at any point in the longplay. In every puzzle and plot point that I remember, his actions solve the problem half-way at best.
"My" at the start could also be "PB" for Polar Bear, since these guys seem to use snowy code-names.
jv dla, that's genius
I'm finally wearing headphones and can confirm the crossword is stereo
This game just gave me an idea for an amazing kickstarter pitch: typewriter keyboards. It's like a regular keyboard but every time you hit a key it makes a loud and obnoxious typewriter key sound. 750 grand here I come!
I like how all the side articles in the paper were just strings of random letters. Really adds to the immersion
"jhjjasdlkjkhjklh..."
"Hey, don't use the home row for everything! That would look weird."
"...s45,vx,,"
My theory: The actors they hired were mostly pornstars, or former pornstars. The main character, especially, gives me some "my daddy told us not to be ashamed of our dicks"-vibe.
Look out!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAACHHOOO!!
Oh hey, my snot is telling me I accomplished all of today's important goals. Good to know!
FK... In the mucus...
Are those red seeds in the mucus or did I bust a blood vessel?
Pluto is a planet again. Dreams do come true.
oh
So our guy's name is Jaques and his nickname is Jock. That's the laziest nickname I've ever seen.
LOOK OUT!
At least they got the internet pretty accurate in this game.
Our protagonist sounds a bit like Hopkins.
It's the universal 90's douchebag voice.
I can still hear Hopkins' voice clips in my head to this very day. They are glorious.
3:20 I'm loving this google streetview gameplay mechanic!
10:32 Oh god, that's the best "tough guy" name I've ever heard.
12:44 This is way too schlock a production for them to not kill Bull off now that he's said this.
Ah, World Of Longplays Dot Org! Hello, old friend! It's been far too long!
PS. Are you sure that's not your wife, Slowbeef? I mean, she's woman in a video. Doesn't that automatically make her your wife? Because that's how I thought it worked.
Are you still going to do Hell: A Cyberpunk Thriller?
fuuuuuuuuuck
Apparently not.
Oh this is gonna be a good one
The sad thing is that this is one of the best acted and set up FMV games I've ever seen. It looks like this game company actually spent some money on and put some effort into this game unlike most companies of the day who tried to make these types of games. Most companies saw CD roms and thought, "COOL! We can have movies in our game!!" and then realized that they'd have to pay writers and actors and pay to have sets and just said, "To hell with that!!" and just wrote the script themselves in ten minutes and put painted cardboard from the dumpster up as the set. Then they yelled out to the bums on the street, "Hey! Want to be in a video game! Come up here and read a couple lines! We'll give you five dollars!"
"Tracy Scoggins" sounds like a Steve Brule name
Willfreedangus The main actor is just a hunk.
The sad thing is that no one ever bothered to make a 3DO emulator, so once the disks decay people will never be able to play these games again.
How is that sad?
Preserving the past is important and there were a few 3DO games that weren't trash
įkalama šuo
I dunno, some things are better off forgotten
I think unmodified 3dos can play burned discs.
There's two 3DO emulators. 4DO is actually shockingly accurate.
ooohhhh snow means drugs!
by the title i was hoping this would be a snowboarding detective :(
I did too :(
That sounds ridiculously awesome.
it would have just been 10 minutes of snowboarding in the beginning and then a massive pivot into unrelated puzzle solving and nonsensical time jumps.
+dejablue88 There was another JF game? I assumed the creator just gave up on the series in the middle of the story. Seems like that's the MO for most flash games.
lol i remember when seanbaby played this, good times
We're on the internet, watching you watch a "game" where some guys are on the internet talking about what you can find there. It's the circle of life.
lmao get called out, dude who mistook cherrydoom for mrs. beef
Fuck yes, another wrongpurae at last. I've never heard of this one, but based on the title I assume it's about a dogsled team that solves crimes. Don't disappoint me, 3DO.
So I'm guessing this one doesn't have Paul Giamatti in it, but at least its portrayal of the Internet is somehow way better.
Bull is actually played by Paul Giamatti. He has a very wide range.
Jabbergeist
_He's so versatile!_
I think Bull and our detective friend actually are two different people, just played by the same guy. I'm guessing the detective friend will never appear in person for that reason.
Also, it's good to see you back to doing longplays.
That's a strange-looking crossword puzzle
Love me some FMV goodness.
Man, those in-game menus (seen @16:15) I can't be the only one having THPS2 flashbacks.
2:16 - what the hell is with this music? Is someone torturing a MissingNo. to get these hell noises?!
11:03 C'mon Wires, you've been on Geocities for at LEAST the last eleven minutes and your chair is starting to glitch! Also, the music in the strip club, they must've desperately wanted ZZ Top.
this oughtta be good
Oh yeah... I'm gonna enjoy this. Is there a "throw cuddly toy" option?
"That is not my wife"
Slowbeef predicting the internet will now assume everyone he works with is his spouse since he's been doing Wifestream? Nobody told him that happened with him and Betus before then?
Are you telling me that slowbeef and beetus aren't life partners? My fantasy is ruined.
Beef just needs to clarify who his wife really is. I'm sure there have been plenty of gold-diggers trying to get some of the Retsupurae fortune.
"Rumor has it old man Retsupurae hid away his vast fortune somewhere before he died. They say that only his true heir can find it after riffing on every FMV game ever made. No one knows who that heir is, but I've heard tales of a certain bumbling upstart from Joisy with a heart of gold..."
+Jabbergeist
The old man's last words were "It's buried under a big 'thriddy-o'". Decoding their meaning has caused much speculation and at least four best-selling titles have been published advocating different interpretations.
Hell: A Cyberpunk Thriller?
I actually like that the typed keys sound are accurate to where they are on the screen. pretty advanced for the time, imo
Wow this really feels like it was a half decent movie someone butchered and turned into a videogame.
Flashback music by Akira Yamaoka.
Somebody PLEASE explain to me how the player is supposed to guess MARS is the password.
1. Planets crossword
2. ????
3. Password!
If the crossword were a clue to the password, I would have expected the password to be NEPTUNE, the planet which isn't mentioned in the puzzle. (Earth is mentioned in a clue, and the others appear as answers.)
It's a 3DO game. I feel that your expectations are slightly unrealistic here.
In the sense that your expectations make....well, a lot of sense. Can't have that on the 3DO.
Thank god there wasn't 2 planets discovered in 1930, otherwise the longplayer would be in trouble.
first the return of tietuesday then the return of sara? nice.
now work on dave_o and voidburger and we'll be set.
And mister eyeball
Tucker DeBord
sure, and the british guy i can never remember the name of but still enjoy.
And Steve-O
dave_o still streams on twitch all the time, and he's chill as ever
She grows on you, whether you like it or not?
A new wrongpurae that wasn't announced at any of the conventions they did? Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty stoked, but they really need to get started on Hell: A Cyberpunk Adventure!
Seconded.
"Reestablish Camaraderie" What did he ever do to you?!
I am so happy to see a proper retsupurae.
I love Kickstarter Nonstarters and Dahir Insaat but these games are awesome to watch. Hopefully this will be as good as urban runner.
2:45 No! Not Freddie Mercury!
This project gave Tracy Scoggins the necessary prominence to appear on Babylon 5
4:20 -- Bob Saget and Michael J. Fox?
Here in 2021.
You already know
2022 ehhhhh
Maybe its because I'm getting old but I can't understand a damn word that's being said in this game.
time to step into the MYSTERY SPHERE
It's like somebody made Google Maps street view into a video game.
Is the stripper or whatever in the bar Laura from later?
keep wondering every time I rewatch but like I don't know
I think the stripper is a random
Strange I wasn't thinking wife when she was first talking. Unless Slowbeef is hiding the fact that, that is his wife in disguise!
He's been doing some videos with his wife on his main channel lately. I think he was just clarifying that this wasn't one of them.
It's because in one of their kickstarter nonstarters someone complained about cherrydoom being slowbeefs wife.
Some pissbaby was whining in another video about having Slowbeef's wife on the video, when in reality it was Cherrydoom and the poster was just bashing Slowbeef's personal channel b/c of wifestreams. I can't remember the video, but the comment & thread is ridiculously painful to read.
Still waiting on the rest of RoomBreak :(
I've been waiting on Policenauts for six years.
I have a feeling RoomBreak was only going to go downhill. Could be wrong ofc, but I won't lose any sleep if they don't go back to it.
I don't know if whatever other ending we get could ever top Obama shaking hands with Evil Stitch.
MaximumTheMokona Well there's one more regular episode to go plus a DLC episode, so we'll see.
no wonder the 3DO failed
It's Legs and the Wheelman's greatest foe, Wires and the Snowman
...I was just thinking to myself last week "Man RP should do Snow Job"
Is Wires related to Jack Wired?