First Story: I would've sat them both down, when it started becoming clear I couldn't move past it. I would have said, "hey, I know you guys wouldn't have betrayed me, but your son's similarities to my husband have become overwhelming. Lately the irrational part from my past insecurities, have resurfaced and I need help thinking rationally. I've tried getting through it in therapy, because I want you to know I trust you both. Outside comments get to me the most. Can you help me get through this. Can we find out a solution together? I didn't want to lie about how I was feeling anymore". I've had this conversation before, however. They were having an affair behind my back. That relationship didn't even hit a year, thank goodness.
Yes!! It’s also giving me “Don’t Worry Darling” movie vibes as well. Where they are in a simulation against their will to be ‘perfect wives’ for these incel like men.
Story 1: Even random people thought he was the kids father. After hearing that a few times, I could see how she started to feel suspicious. And to say I know this isn’t true or I know you would never do that is a bit silly because people absolutely do that…I bet Arnold’s wife Maria thought she was going crazy too with that kid looking just like her husband and guess what….,
All of these people are bad for eachother honestly. OP doesn't have a healthy communication style, husband is oblivious and the friend took that personally way too quickly. She was cheated on in the past and when she brought it up they told her the exact same thing these assholes did which was exactly why she didn't feel like she could bring it up. Friend completely shut down all discussions about it which definitely did not help. And husband just completely dismisses her like that untill it came to a head. These are 3 people each living in their own universe and unfortunately this time we didn't get Drake and Josh just a horrible situation to be in. Honestly makes me even more glad im queer and infertile.
Story 4: Dusty's obvious discomfort, of ever speaking to Kandi like that, just makes me love their relationship even more! I would've left and filed for divorce. It's clear he doesn't respect me, and what he thinks of me.
When I was working, we were a group of about 10. We had a birthday fund and put x amount of dollars in each pay period. Everybody got a cake that we shared at lunch time. It was optional and the biggest decision was who would pick it up. If the birthday person wasn’t working on their birthday we had it the next time they worked. There was never an issue
Story 5: I don’t get the vitriol against this OP. He had an affair and had a kid. She made this very clear she would not be part of the kids life. As unfortunate as the circumstances are, she did not cause the situation. He wants her to stand and GUARANTEE he wants her to be mother to the kid. I can’t believe the ruling on that one and can’t believe the word “respect” was ever uttered for the husband.
The cake one - wouldnt “just hold on to the fund and use them to pay my portion of the rest of the cakes be the same things as opting out?? She doesnt get a cake and she doesnt have to pay in the future 🤔🤔🤔 thats opting out to me.
Story 1- could she not have just sneaked some hair from them both and got it done in secret. Then if he had been the father she could have blown up and if not ahe wouldnt be in the shite show she is in now
Story 5: so the kid will live with his FAMILY for 8 months. Probably better than his current conditions. Why does op need to divorce? You guys always seem to cry for divorce way too often
Husband that wants the wife to give the new coworker a makeover….because “I said so.” “Hunny does this pillow smell like chl0r0form?” Or “You said so. Is this the hill you’re willing to d!£ on?” If anything the wife should slip the coworker a note to call you later. Then have a long discussion with her about the brozo’s that work with her. Give her all the office dirt so she has something to hold against these guys. When your husband asks you can say “Yes I spoke to her. She knows about ALL of you.”
Story 2....these make me irrationally mad as well. Regardless if my hubby cheated, even if he slept with the whole damn block. LEAVE THE KIDS OUT OF IT. You should thank the drunk lying friend for getting you out of that entire thing. Broke my own heart hearing she kept those babies from their loving father for 5 fkn months.
I completely disagree with the take on the first story... It's a fucked up situation all around and her reaction was definitely over the top but like she brought it up casually to her husband and he dismissed it. She asked her friend to see a picture of the dad and she shut it down. Not because they're cheaters or bad people but cheaters often act like they're innocent. My partner brings something like that up not in a million years would I go "huh kinda wild isnt it" then go back to watching breaking bad or whatever this is absolutely something that needed to addressed. She was cheated on in the past and unless neither her husband or friend knew about this I think they hold some of the blame too. Both of you seem like really decent people who have built trust in eachother over the years. But I'm willing to bet my left kidney (right one doesnt work no more) if either of you even said an offhanded comment about something implicating something that's even not half as serious as this you would probably address it. You have reached that level of trust because theae situations came up in the past and you addressed it without it getting out of hand. A situation like this is crazy. Maybe I'm just young and delusional about expectations in a relationship but like if my partner even made a lighthearted, offhanded comment like "huh that kid looks alot like you" is a comment that I would lose sleep over if we didnt address it much less if it was just completely dismissed. I honestly would be surprised if this was a singular event throughout that relationship or friendship. Something like this would not end a friendship or relationship this easily. This might be a stretch but like it feels like there's an imbalance of power in that relationship if she thought she couldn't bring it up in an open conversation. Unless I'm missing some really important context imo I believe this is a relationship that needed to end. I do agree with one very important detail tho: the child's father, unless its her husband, is none of her business. I just can't imagine seeing someone close to me spiral this hard and fast and not interfering though especially if I knew she was cheated on multiple times in the past. Everyone in this situation could've (and honestly should've) done better. Especially that damn kid... Should've tried to get glasses or smth get that Clark Kent disguise. Edit: a point I think I might've forgot to include is that the things they said is close enough to what a cheater would say. Not because these people cheated but more because cheaters know what an innocent person would say to seem innocent at least in the short term. Unless the husband and friend did not know about her cheating exes they probably could've stepped up. Honestly if you've been married for 3 years and are still oblivious about what your partner is trying to communicate to that degree honestly i dont think they were ready to be married.
Story 1- could she not have just sneaked some hair from them both and got it done in secret. Then if he had been the father she could have blown up and if not ahe wouldnt be in the shite show she is in now
First Story: I would've sat them both down, when it started becoming clear I couldn't move past it. I would have said, "hey, I know you guys wouldn't have betrayed me, but your son's similarities to my husband have become overwhelming. Lately the irrational part from my past insecurities, have resurfaced and I need help thinking rationally. I've tried getting through it in therapy, because I want you to know I trust you both. Outside comments get to me the most. Can you help me get through this. Can we find out a solution together? I didn't want to lie about how I was feeling anymore".
I've had this conversation before, however. They were having an affair behind my back. That relationship didn't even hit a year, thank goodness.
Story 4: Stepford Wives!! Maybe that’s why the unknown wife is AWOL! 😮
Yes!! It’s also giving me “Don’t Worry Darling” movie vibes as well. Where they are in a simulation against their will to be ‘perfect wives’ for these incel like men.
Go op keep doing you keep taking care of your kids
Story 1: Even random people thought he was the kids father. After hearing that a few times, I could see how she started to feel suspicious. And to say I know this isn’t true or I know you would never do that is a bit silly because people absolutely do that…I bet Arnold’s wife Maria thought she was going crazy too with that kid looking just like her husband and guess what….,
All of these people are bad for eachother honestly. OP doesn't have a healthy communication style, husband is oblivious and the friend took that personally way too quickly. She was cheated on in the past and when she brought it up they told her the exact same thing these assholes did which was exactly why she didn't feel like she could bring it up. Friend completely shut down all discussions about it which definitely did not help. And husband just completely dismisses her like that untill it came to a head. These are 3 people each living in their own universe and unfortunately this time we didn't get Drake and Josh just a horrible situation to be in. Honestly makes me even more glad im queer and infertile.
1st story: if the marriage is over it's her own fault
Story 4: Dusty's obvious discomfort, of ever speaking to Kandi like that, just makes me love their relationship even more!
I would've left and filed for divorce. It's clear he doesn't respect me, and what he thinks of me.
Story 3: if this is so important then it needs to be on the job description 😂
When I was working, we were a group of about 10. We had a birthday fund and put x amount of dollars in each pay period. Everybody got a cake that we shared at lunch time. It was optional and the biggest decision was who would pick it up. If the birthday person wasn’t working on their birthday we had it the next time they worked. There was never an issue
The birthday cake pool. Why not just have a longer birthday cake and have a cake before she goes away on her leave.? Long birthdays are great!
Story 5: I don’t get the vitriol against this OP. He had an affair and had a kid. She made this very clear she would not be part of the kids life. As unfortunate as the circumstances are, she did not cause the situation. He wants her to stand and GUARANTEE he wants her to be mother to the kid.
I can’t believe the ruling on that one and can’t believe the word “respect” was ever uttered for the husband.
Dusty, I love you. But I will follow Candy into battle!!!
The cake one - wouldnt “just hold on to the fund and use them to pay my portion of the rest of the cakes be the same things as opting out?? She doesnt get a cake and she doesnt have to pay in the future 🤔🤔🤔 thats opting out to me.
❤
Story 1- could she not have just sneaked some hair from them both and got it done in secret. Then if he had been the father she could have blown up and if not ahe wouldnt be in the shite show she is in now
Story 5: so the kid will live with his FAMILY for 8 months. Probably better than his current conditions. Why does op need to divorce? You guys always seem to cry for divorce way too often
Husband that wants the wife to give the new coworker a makeover….because “I said so.”
“Hunny does this pillow smell like chl0r0form?”
Or “You said so. Is this the hill you’re willing to d!£ on?”
If anything the wife should slip the coworker a note to call you later. Then have a long discussion with her about the brozo’s that work with her.
Give her all the office dirt so she has something to hold against these guys.
When your husband asks you can say “Yes I spoke to her. She knows about ALL of you.”
Story 2....these make me irrationally mad as well. Regardless if my hubby cheated, even if he slept with the whole damn block. LEAVE THE KIDS OUT OF IT. You should thank the drunk lying friend for getting you out of that entire thing. Broke my own heart hearing she kept those babies from their loving father for 5 fkn months.
I completely disagree with the take on the first story...
It's a fucked up situation all around and her reaction was definitely over the top but like she brought it up casually to her husband and he dismissed it. She asked her friend to see a picture of the dad and she shut it down. Not because they're cheaters or bad people but cheaters often act like they're innocent. My partner brings something like that up not in a million years would I go "huh kinda wild isnt it" then go back to watching breaking bad or whatever this is absolutely something that needed to addressed. She was cheated on in the past and unless neither her husband or friend knew about this I think they hold some of the blame too.
Both of you seem like really decent people who have built trust in eachother over the years. But I'm willing to bet my left kidney (right one doesnt work no more) if either of you even said an offhanded comment about something implicating something that's even not half as serious as this you would probably address it. You have reached that level of trust because theae situations came up in the past and you addressed it without it getting out of hand. A situation like this is crazy. Maybe I'm just young and delusional about expectations in a relationship but like if my partner even made a lighthearted, offhanded comment like "huh that kid looks alot like you" is a comment that I would lose sleep over if we didnt address it much less if it was just completely dismissed. I honestly would be surprised if this was a singular event throughout that relationship or friendship. Something like this would not end a friendship or relationship this easily. This might be a stretch but like it feels like there's an imbalance of power in that relationship if she thought she couldn't bring it up in an open conversation. Unless I'm missing some really important context imo I believe this is a relationship that needed to end. I do agree with one very important detail tho: the child's father, unless its her husband, is none of her business. I just can't imagine seeing someone close to me spiral this hard and fast and not interfering though especially if I knew she was cheated on multiple times in the past. Everyone in this situation could've (and honestly should've) done better. Especially that damn kid... Should've tried to get glasses or smth get that Clark Kent disguise.
Edit: a point I think I might've forgot to include is that the things they said is close enough to what a cheater would say. Not because these people cheated but more because cheaters know what an innocent person would say to seem innocent at least in the short term. Unless the husband and friend did not know about her cheating exes they probably could've stepped up. Honestly if you've been married for 3 years and are still oblivious about what your partner is trying to communicate to that degree honestly i dont think they were ready to be married.
Story 1- could she not have just sneaked some hair from them both and got it done in secret. Then if he had been the father she could have blown up and if not ahe wouldnt be in the shite show she is in now