Exactly. These weak azz dudes don't understand that the REAL men are not intimidated by independent women, are not competing with independent women, and do not have to ask permission to do anything. They just do it. My boyfriend is a very quiet and shy man, but stepped into my life and made it BETTER. I love his quiet strength and his companionship. ❤
Yes my husband is fairly humble and introverted. He was attracted to me, not just my looks, but that I played music in a band. He was my biggest supporter when I applied to law schools and became a lawyer. He works overtime to provide for us while I’m recovering from illness. He is a strong, compassionate man with integrity. Not perfect, none of us are. But he’s my best friend. We are free to be strong and vulnerable with one another and either of us take the lead briefly on different things, but we act as one, a team.
I am absolutely drawn to the quiet ones. Most are so observant, and can read the room and people very well. It’s probably because. I’m an introvert that usually appears extroverted.
@schuylergeery-zink1923 Exactly. It is beautiful that you guys are a team, not master and slave like so many of these dudes want to be. Wishing you a speedy recovery and many more decades of blissful marriage. 😊❤
So men need to force women to be a woman? No thanks sounds like you dont want to take accountability for your behavior, you are not children stop acting like it.
I have said this time and time again. A woman that makes money is not threatening to a man who makes more than her. A woman who is strong is not threatening to a man that is stronger than her. A woman that is "masculine" is not threatening to a man who is a true masculine man. If a woman has to reduce what she does for you to assume the position of a man in her life, you aren't it.
You have it backwards, women dont have an interest in men who are not equal or better then them, its called hypergamy look it up, then look up the tall girl problem by chris williamson to fid out "successful career driven women" reduce their own dating pool of men because they seek equal or more in their men but they have priced themselves out of the dating market because men who are equal or more then her dont want her because shes masculine asf, if successfulwomen want a man they will need to get past their hypergamous nature and start dating down. Your examples are a way of masking bad female behavior, men shouldnt hav to put up with womens attitude or put them in check by being stronger or more masuline, this is a cop out for bad behavior, accountability sares all you women but you will have to make friends with it if you want to succeed with men.
What's funny is if men were serious about wanting to rest in their femininity, a lot of women are so adaptable, they'd let them. They'd let them stay home, take care of the kids, cook the meals, and do the laundry. The issue is that these guys are too proud and lazy to do even that. Like dude, pick a role, any role and I'll take over the other one. You want to be the woman? Fine. I'll be the man. But if I'm the man AND the woman, what are you for? If I'm doing everything, why do I have you? If we break up, that's one less person I have to take care of. Women agreed to 50/50 which ended up being 75/25 and dudes are like what about 100/0? Why are you here? What are you for?
I hate hearing the words “if SHE CAN FIND a REAL or good man”. Women, even in the animal kingdom are NOT SUPPOSED TO FIND A MALE!!! Let’s stop using that term and also stop trying to FIND A MAN in the first place. That’s y’all’s first mistake. It’s HE WHO FINDS A WIFE HAS FOUND A GOOD THING not she who finds a husband!!! The person who created men is telling you that men were created to be the “finders” not women and yall women are still talking about finding a man??!!!
THANK YOU! I was hoping someone would say it. Everything she said rubbed me wrong. It appears as though SHE has missed the point. You are EXACTLY right. In fact, I’m starting to think that even discussing them on these forums like this, is adding fuel to their stupid ass fire! I agree with you completely.
Good perspective. Never looked at it that way. Females are really NOT suppose to Find a man. The man is suppose to find us and see if the relationship can be successful based on what the female wants. Every species operates like that except woman. Time to change the narrative. 😊
100%. I agree with everything she said. Men are not teaching their sons about how to be in the gap. I can't be around a guy that I can't shut my brain off with. For me starts with their driving. If they have a lead foot or road rage, then nope. Funny story. My dad wanted to be more helpful in the house, so he did the laundry. He didn't know that delicates are delicates for a reason. Wash tags are on clothes for a reason. He ended up shrinking my mom's cashmere sweater. He felt so bad. So from that type on he just did all the others and left the delicate basket alone. My mom was truly grateful. 😆
They TAKE control, period lol 😂❤️😩 I’ll never forget once: a STRANGER saw me putting oil in my car at a Walmart and this sweet, older, Hispanic man came to me, asked me if I needed help and baby 😩 when I said I had it, he gave me this look 😒😳😆 then HE FIRMLY BUT GRACIOUSLY TOOK the funnel outta my hand, shooed me off to the side and proceeded to serve the situation 😮💨😮💨👌🏾😮💨😮💨 When I say I was left there flabbergasted 😯 at his masculinity honeyyyyyy 😍😍😂😏😏 and he was nowhere near my type but he left an impression that damn near made me feel like swooning!!! I thanked him multiple times and long after he was gone that man was on my mind ya hear me?! ON MY MIND! DAMN lol!
Same. I was all about that strong independent woman stuff but then I met my current boyfriend who wanted to pay for all of our dates always looks out for me makes sure I'm safe and comfortable. It made me feel like a princess and I naturally became more feminine started to find joy in beautifying myself and my surroundings.
In my last relationship I was extremely independent when we met, apparently that’s what attracted him to me. When I would defer to him or take a step back to let him lead he would stress tf out! 🙄 I didn’t want to lead and he didn’t either…so now I’m single again.
Not all men are leaders and that is fine, because all women dont want to be lead ( and know i dont meand king babies shoudl be encouraged but i am not one to take orders from others, i take suggestions when I ask for them, I allow people to help me out if I want to) Also you need to start our by stating who you are, blindly trusting and think men can lead YOU specifically or even all can lead can be risk and will lead to dissapointment. This is why courting is important dont give access but opportunity for them to show off what they got. Because people have differnet leadership styles as well. Also the leader is the servant to the one being lead. Same way the president is a civil servant, a servant to tha nation to the citizens (eventhough most dont act act like ones). A leader is not a boss, this is where men and women need to be honest with themsleves to you want a leader Or a boss do you want to be a leader or a boss. Also men are not all independent. People think women are the codependent ones but men who seek out codependt people are usually codependent themsleves and vice versa. Independt people have each others back when WANTED. co dpendent people are incompetent and need due to being lacking others services. Also a relationship is a two people agreement wether or not you want to you are leading it by making choices (not making a choice is also a choice that impacts the relationship). It's why if you want to be Lead you need to make the rules for the leadership a frame work for your specific needs (peopel are not the same). an independent man that is honored by the opportunity to lead you guys whill make it his buisniness to know in detail who you are, what you are, your likes and dislikes etc. there is a need of healthy communication and on the person wanting to be lead a willingness to give that data so they can affectively lead. yes first thing comes first they need to already have leadership skills aka qualified for the job but also as the person being lead you are you and they need to cater their skills to your wants and needs this is where the leader takes initiative by paying attentoin, listeening and taking you in and then asking questions to add onto what they know to do their best to lead. So there is were feedback and direction after its been asked for should be given by the person that is being lead. This is why disernment, knowing yourself, compatabilty and good communication is vital. I personally though I like some men who are dominat i cant stand for domineering men (there is arrogance, entitlement, superiority and lack of wisdom and communication and most importatnly respect and care of consent).
When did independence negate softness? Two things can exist and be true at the same time. Im sick of some of these men being intimidated by a woman's independence. Its like they really want helpless children.
What’s hilarious is, I am waiting for them to define what a single woman whom takes care of herself would be defined as, otherwise. It’s self sufficiency out of necessity.
@@Gem-n-life it's being a basic adult. They call us delusional but fail to realize that independence is necessary for survival. These men hate independence because it gives women the power to leave them.
Let’s be real the so-called independent woman is a woman who lives in her life, even though they thought that they were shitting on her that’s what she is😂❤🎉
That’s why men real men want a women who "wants" them not "needs" them. It easier to make a woman need you. It requires a bit of manipulation and coercion, maybe some gaslighting and bullying but once a man has a woman needing him he can sit back and relax and take advantage of her to his hearts content. But he will find that he is never content or satisfied because he doesn’t value what he got or how it got it. Doing what is required to make a woman want you automatically levels a man up. He becomes a better person a more desirable man. It’s like updating your skills for a new job. It requires more of a man to get a woman to want him and once he has that, he then has to work to keep her wanting him. That’s the difference; most men are too lazy and mediocre to do the work to have a woman that wants him. The rewards of having a woman that wants you over a woman that needs you is immeasurable. Men often manipulate and bully a woman who need him, into doing stuff for him. A woman who wants him will do it willingly. I love taking care of my man and he loves taking care of me. I want him and I want to take care of him because of how he treats me. He doesn’t expect or demand anything he can take care of himself easily and he can take care of me. But the genuine care love respect and loyalty he shows me makes me want him and want to take care of him. No manipulation, no games, no "I’m the man, I lead, you follow" bs. Does he lead? Yes sometimes but not all the time. There are certain things I am better at leading on. it’s not demanded or expected. It like a dance we both know the steps to. Men would be so much happier if the just relinquished this self imposed masculine nonsense that doesn’t make either sex happy.
the only way we are going to find a real man is if we all take a trip to Narnia...we currently live in a reverse grims fairy tale land, where all the men are princesses, and women are the knights and soldiers.
please this is so try but its so funny. This is why i find women attractice platonically as a woman lol because it really be women who are even saving other women and people. when it tell you it is 95% women in my entire life who have been saving me from long term or immediate danger. Like even from men. When they say you need men to protect you from men but its women that are protecting women from men.
The way I was casually perusing the comment section, while stirring my coffee, LOUDLY giggled at that first sentence but she right💯✨️ @sharistewart1337
I'm at a point in my life where I know I can completely take care of myself, and I am happy being single. The only reason I'll want to get involved with a man again is if he makes it his mission to make my life easier and have my back. When that happens... I will pour into the relationship so much and go out of my way to take care of my man right back.
@@Lex2034-f7y IMO, the obfuscation is deliberate to serve a particular end. It's making "independent" a perjorative term to describe and shame women who are not attached to a man, not necessarily for survival as per original meaning, but in all ways.
@@VeeKayGreenerGrass yes!! They have demonized the term badly. It has a negative connotation associated with it. I believe it’s just a lack of intelligence on there part tbh.
Can't be dependent on most of them when they are crying about gold diggers or throws whole family away for newer model woman. Men who specifically ask for dependence are usually some kind of abusers who don't want woman to be able to leave them when they will abuse her.
I hate to admit this but my husband makes me feel like this. Work me and home me are totally different women. Even if we're out going for a walk my brain switches off 😂😂
This is the DAMN. TRUTH. Real harmony is balance. You think I WANT to be like this? Lol life is HARD my dude. No one wants to be like this, we have to. And turns out when someone *actually* helps shoulder the load, you can relax a little.
This reminds me of the video the lady walking around her home and showing all the modifications her husband made because they made her life easier or prevented danger 👏
Ex boyfriend:When will you ever submit? Dineo Ranaka:When will you ever teach me the God in you? I submit to what you submit to. If your leadership qualities are distorted I have nothing to submit to. Then I am just letting go of myself. I am fully much aware of what a man is & what a man needs to be. I can't teach you that. I can see it in your actions. I can see it. I can discern it. If you are not my king then don't ask for my hand in marriage. I'm not desperate. I am desperate for the God in you. If that God is lacking then you can't date me. You can't ask for submission. Submission is inspired by leadership. As women we become that which the man is.
I don’t even believe real men exist at this point. So many of them have said they were REAL in the presence of myself, an independent woman, and that facade falls within hmmmm a few months. I’m tired of this grandpa and idgaf
At this point, western straight women organise a union, like the South Korean 4b movement or women only Eastern African matriarchs. Help each other out, learn about financial literacy, healthcare, faith and spiritualities, childcare. Self preservation and growth for self. Signed, a lesbian, who's tirud of seeing her straight female friends and some men suffering under the status quo.
I'm tired of men acting obtuse about this and willfully missing the point. A couple is a TEAM. We work as a UNIT. It's a PARTNERSHIP. It's meant to be the two of us VS. the problem, not us VS. each other! When men pile all the burden and responsibility on women (life admin, cooking, cleaning, emotional labor, etc), when they automatically assume "she's got it" without ever taking any initiative of their own, the man stops being a partner and becomes another problem. Independence is a necessity for everybody, yes, it can be a trauma response, but whether healthy or not, women who lead with independence often do that because we've been LET DOWN too many times.
At the end of the day. The bills have to be paid. The kids have to be fed. Real women and LIFE doesn’t stop to make herself small just to stroke a man’s ego. Had I did that, I would have a Degree, a career, a house, a car, retirement, savings. Anything!
It’s actually innate. However, I know the love did not come my way when I had this discussion on a panel of women. 🤣 I held my own, as I wasn’t at all talking about doing this with just any man; however, that’s how it was taken.
I was in a weird situation when I was dating this guy and I wanted him to realize that I want him to surprise me and do small things without me. Ask him to my dad always told me this. If a man generally loves you and he cares so much deeply about you. He would notice things without even asking. He will surprise you and do it out. Of the kindness out of his heart❤❤ But the man I was with. He want me to ask him for every little thing close to begging him and it's really sad
when we have this discussion i always have to remind men that doing things for urself makes u RESPONSIBLE ADULT....its not about dismissing them or replacing them...all of us have or had lived alone and took care of ourselves so thats what u do as an adult...but just because u get a partner it does not mean women are supposed to carry more of load as far as being responsible adult....we should be able to balance that...i can cook and u can cook we take turns, i do laundry u do laundry we take turns....if i can go get my tires rotated i dont mind asking if u need me to take ur car but i want that same courtesy!!!
I don't know if I want to be so enamored with somebody that I don't know how to function as an independent mind. I understand the desire, but once you become so dependent on someone doing things, you start to not pay attention to things like you should and a lot of times this is a tactic by men to get you reliant upon them. You start to think well. He's handling it so I'm not going to worry about it anymore. That's a mistake! Let's say he's good with finances and so you see that he is taking the initiative to deal with the finances. That's wonderful but you need to know exactly what he's doing with the finances. You still need to be aware of his actions because once someone gets too comfortable a lot of times they will start to slack on the responsibility of knowing their financial situation and they can also lead to financial abuse.
What I asked for from men is not unreasonable: respect my boundaries, have a job, listen to me, know basic life skills every adult should, care about my human rights, don’t tell me what to do, and don’t cheat on me. That’s really it
And do you fulfill this mans needs? If yes then there is no problem you will be congratulated soon as it shouldnt take that long for you to get a ring, if no then why should a man do this for you if you are unwilling to make chanes to be compatible with him, you are in competition with women for these good men, there will be women who demand less and offer more, why should a good man give you a shot?
There are great women who have powerful, sometimes dangerous jobs. They can still be very nice people - I know, I've worked for some. I wonder if we are confusing being "strong and independent" with just being nice to live with. Yes, strong, independent women can be nice to live with ... and nice women can be strong and independent. Again, I've lived with some. I've been very lucky with men and women in my life, and I have never "yelled" at anyone to do laundry.
It’s because they use the term without realising it simply means to be self-sufficient. I personally, don’t want the word “strong” in front of it. There’s an entirely different implication for women who look like me, when it’s used.
@@Gem-n-life I come here to learn, and that comment made me blink. I saw the things said about Michelle Obama, making an insult of her inner strength, her beauty, and her physical health. I am sorry and disgusted that that sort of garbage is not just laid on the very famous, but on a huge group of normal functional people. I'll be more aware with what I say. Thank you for the kind and informative comment.
Imagine male lions and male bears being angry that the lionesses and female bears don’t “need” them? 😂 Why are humans dead set on behaving like the very few species of birds who are monogamous and have the male provide? Our males have shown us for eons that the don’t want and cannot handle responsibility, so why force them? Turning your brain off around a male is dangerous. They’re not capable of leading themselves much less you and the kids. He won’t even remember any of your birthdays much less lead the family.
NARCISSISM IS ENCODED IN THEM. ALL MEN IDEALLY WANT TO RUN THROUGH 100 FINE A$$ BXXXXX BEFORE THEY SETTLE FOR A HOT BEAUTIFUL VIRGIN. If ANYONE LOVES DISNEY LOVE ITS THEM! After all Walt Disney is a MALE.
because women have not been allowed to be in charge of natural selection for eons men have banned us from fully taking our right of reproduction and natural selection. Men are supposed to present themselves to women and women are the ones who choose if acceptable or not (not under threat or duress or risk of starvation and safety ) using laws, violence and hording resources that btw women did and do take part in creating for themselves it has put humanity genetically mentally and socially back. men and people overall would be healthier, fitter, smarter, more cooperative if women were the ones as they should be incharge of who and how more people are created. women even have better sense then men (particualry smell) which also aids in helping scent out men who are genetically compatible and biologically fit. freaking king henry the wretche dumb toad that he was should not have had such access and power reproduction labour of women. also men do not get better with age sperm quality degrades and mens health due to age can negatviely affect the children genetically, old men make weak kids. also old men are weaker and their health worsening and shorter life span (which men already have so why would women chose old men when even same age men die sooner then them?) will negatively impact the quality of care and parenting the children get and even if you dont want kids, the wife or gf gets. I am happy women are starting to wake up but we need to still stay on our toes and unpack alot of the scams (like older men are better "provider more mature, better at se#) we still belive in. At this point it isnt just for us it is also for the sake of humanity, they have been in charge for eaons look at us stll at the same level at risk as women and the children in civilised society as when we used to live in the bloody ice age ( only now it is men that are the 1# predator and health risk). How many more wars do we need to have? btw se# trafficking is at an all time high globally at multiple trillion dollars in a year (3rd biggest industry). at this point this is beyond shamlessness and wickedness. and it needs to stop and women can stop this with out without men (btw due to women chaning the dating market some few men have changed and have upgraded) the 4B movement is very affective, the descentering, the descernment and limiting access of men to women is affective. the women focusing on themselves and supporting each other (not the pickmes and cool girls or tradbots). The entire earth needs this cleanse ( also all the independent and supportive men who get called simps are also here for it, heard a guy say even if it means he wont get the opportunity of being in a relationship with women if all women were to go 4B to cleanse out the trashy guys it would be worth it) because good men are also tired with having to deal with sexism and toxcity.
Women need to understand that many men are not independent which is why they despise independt women. the issue is not they want to be needed, they themsleves cant stand on their own. some men target indpendent women even to break them down to "humble" them it's jealous and anger they feel because they themselves are the ones that need women and are co-depndent and they often dont know or dont want to get out of that. YOu should want a man not need one same goes for men. If you can survive a week to a month without something you do not need it, need is things like air, food, water without that you will die. YOu will not die from not being in a romantic relationship. Needing to be needed also stems from a brokeness within you that also needs to be addressed because it can easily turn into toxci situation when your "need to be needed" is not met (leading to abuse or sabotage so the partner needs you etc.) Two indpendend people will always make a stronger match then to codependent people or a co dpendent and independent match. Because two indpendent people pour into each other, elevate each other even more, are stronger as a unit/not easily shaken, the problmes will come from outside rather then the (dysfunction of codpendent match or co/indpendent match were there will be struggle and break down interanally) and exterrnally). yes people are not perfect but why would you seek out weakness and dysfunction? that is a red flag in of itself, like things seek like thigs, healthy people seek out more healthy and postiivity. Independt women should only consider independent men. And Independent men to not need anything themsleves they are fullfilled and self generating of their own peace they often just seek companionship to share and elvevate experiences. (btw codependent women cant stand independent men, because indpendent men are not eadily impressed by women, they court women they know are on their level). Also I agree with her only some things I dont agree with is that indpendent women will stop being indpendent this creates the idea that being independent is a bad thing or bad in relationships, a man GETS TO do something for his gf, wife. Also women dont need men to allow them to do anything it is not his right. He gets to be allowed into her life and gets the honour and joy show his love by pouring into her life (if that comes naturally to him and it is what he truly wants). Getting to care for your loved one is not an affection token. YOu do good for goods sakes. If it burdens you to care take then it is not something that is coming naturally from hence why broke/codependent dudes are the ones that get resentful when they dont get what they want from a woman despite choosing themselves to do xyz. also hard pill to swallow for women lets not do things that do not come natrually and easily to us and that elevevate us in relationships with men because you will grow resentful when you dont get that validation, or xyz or whatever from a guy when he doesnt appraciate you. RElationships should not be a struggle or break you or make you sick/tired drain you, there is dysfunction there in the relationshio wether stemming from you or the partner or both or the situation you are in.
This is so true..I agree..as a hyper independent girl ,I want to be loved by someone who will make me atease and be in my feminine realm and just trust his character ..period..i pray for this and everyone deserves this
This video is a bit disturbing. I realize that I don't take enough initiative in my relationships (family, friends, etc.) and that can explain a lot of things. I'm always afraid that it won't work and that it will backfire. But from now on I will try to apply this and see what I get Thanks again for your advices Priscilla👌
I’m independent and soft because I’m naturally feminine and know how to sit my ass down when it comes to a man. I’m not hyper independent & don’t have any trauma surrounding any of that .
I had to tell a friend of a guy I was seeing, “We are not the same.” He was opening my car door, when we arrived at her house. She asked him why he was doing that. I said, if you don’t require it, that’s perfectly okay; however, I do, and that’s all there is to it.
It is very dangerous! I'm glad someone said it. Women should NEVER "turn their brains off with any male, but a lot of women think it's a good thing to be a damsel in distress 😢. It's all in the name of "resting in our femininity" and not being a "masculine" women. I hate to see women glorify female submission, weakness and male authority/power. I can understand appreciating a man that will be there for you and take charge when it's necessary and do what needs to be done, but I don't want to be led like a child or be submissive. A man can be the one in charge and lead in some situations if he is more skilled/qualified, but that's it. If some women want to be submissive that's their prerogative, but I hate it when women publicly claim this is what all or most women want and try to get other women to be less independent, especially when most women can easily be overpowered and "erased" by the vast majority of men, and the men that women are close to are the most likely to hurt or "delete" her.
My thing is in any relationship is that if I scratch your back, you scratch mine. Like I’m not going anywhere-you got me! I’m right here! I TRUST that you’re not going anywhere either. And, I shouldn’t have to tell you what needs to be done when you would know if you just be quiet and OBSERVE.
There are two kinds of adults males. One is a man, the other a woman in a man's body. Having been with both, I can assure you that real men see a need and fill it. With him your nervous system calms, you feel safe and cared for. Real men adore independent women who also know how to be interdependent. Women who overdo, over give, and mother men must learn to become better receivers...because masculine men, providers, are givers. And they take pride in taking care of their woman.
First of all, I am soft. Could I be softer with a strong and dependable man? YES!!! Reall men don't even debate the issue. They simply do what real men do. When a woman sees this, she acts accordingly. I can do for myself, and I am very happy about that. However, if I were to encounter a REAL MAN who made a point of making my life easier on a regular basis simply because he sees that as his job then yes, I would soften and take good care of him. People call this transactional. It is actually RECIPROCAL! No one person in a relationship should do all the giving or receiving.
I have always been independent regardless of my relationship status and I always will be, but it would be great if I could ever believe that I didn't have to be. It would be great if men would at least make it, so we wanted them.
i just think this concept of turning your brain off is childish...everyone needs to be rationale, assessing their environments and tuning with the best ways to maneuver situations..that is normal human stuff..we women have been brainwashed beyond and are still hungering to be lead by other people esp men..That is the issue...not whether you can turn your brain off or not..why would anyone want to do that????
Not always true. Alot of women are independent because of trauma. Even if they meet a masculine man, thise insecurities within herself comes out eventually
Not true. If you are consistent and care, she will learn to trust you. Trauma makes you more careful in this case. It doesn't damage you. It rids you of naviette.
Im spouse free. But I’m tired of being everybody’s wife and husband with zero benefits. 🤭 Also 8:18 - 8:38 was what I witnessed growing up and still witnessing today . I think it was what my mom, grandmothers and aunts saw as well. Because my sister and I come from a family of women that has always taken care of everything. From bills to domestic labor to child rearing. It was and isn’t because they’re single or unmarried. Bc they’re all married. And the ones that weren’t married before , were in long term relationships.
We want women that know how to follow not women that have so much “life going on” that he has to follow her lol the woman of today is “so busy” no man will attach himself to that. We love family and building a home together not trends and being seen for social media.
I hate to say it too but notice how all of the women speaking on this were Black - this is so prevalent within the Black community it’s not even funny 😭 We aren’t used to or even exposed to this type of man like other communities may be so we don’t generally expect it, thus making us even more “strong and independent” 🙄 like I’m tired and want to be cared for too 😂 The one-sidedness is so exhausting! I’ve even noticed that more men these days (Black and otherwise) assume that stereotype and don’t even offer to help anymore (and I’m fairly petite so it’s not like I look strong lol). We end up this way because there is no other option and the cycle just continues which is so disheartening ☹️
If something needs doing, I do it, it just doesn't occur to me to ask. My boyfriend replaced my nearly empty toothpaste yesterday. I just about melted. He noticed and just picked it up while at the store. He does all sorts of little things like this, and those things add up to a reliable person.
I can never ever be with a guy who is not serving me in every way i loose intrest so fast i start seeing them as feminine i will literally call them" girl " as a "joke"😂
Independent women like they have to find secure and not misogyns guys because independent women they can get the insecure and jealous man who will downplay there success be careful ladies
Not always true. Alot of wkmen are independent because of trauma. Even if they meet a masculine man, thise insecurities within herself comes out eventually
All hyperindependent people have been traumatized. But do you think this video is about the ones that are not able to be rehabilitated? No. So why derail a conversation with such comments? How irritating.
When are the real men going to get real good women tho, women can't do anything these days without letting everyone know, oh I'm an independent woman oh I bought my house and a man didn't help me,. Everybody celebrate me
Exactly. These weak azz dudes don't understand that the REAL men are not intimidated by independent women, are not competing with independent women, and do not have to ask permission to do anything. They just do it. My boyfriend is a very quiet and shy man, but stepped into my life and made it BETTER. I love his quiet strength and his companionship. ❤
Yes my husband is fairly humble and introverted. He was attracted to me, not just my looks, but that I played music in a band. He was my biggest supporter when I applied to law schools and became a lawyer. He works overtime to provide for us while I’m recovering from illness. He is a strong, compassionate man with integrity. Not perfect, none of us are. But he’s my best friend. We are free to be strong and vulnerable with one another and either of us take the lead briefly on different things, but we act as one, a team.
@@schuylergeery-zink1923Amen!
I am absolutely drawn to the quiet ones. Most are so observant, and can read the room and people very well. It’s probably because. I’m an introvert that usually appears extroverted.
@schuylergeery-zink1923 Exactly. It is beautiful that you guys are a team, not master and slave like so many of these dudes want to be. Wishing you a speedy recovery and many more decades of blissful marriage. 😊❤
@@schuylergeery-zink1923
So happy 4 u ,4 us it's rough we'd rather b single.he falls under the 2% the 98% 🤮
that first woman is spitting straight facts and men can’t handle it lol….
Yes! ❤️🔥
amen
Facts
So men need to force women to be a woman? No thanks sounds like you dont want to take accountability for your behavior, you are not children stop acting like it.
💯
I have said this time and time again. A woman that makes money is not threatening to a man who makes more than her. A woman who is strong is not threatening to a man that is stronger than her. A woman that is "masculine" is not threatening to a man who is a true masculine man. If a woman has to reduce what she does for you to assume the position of a man in her life, you aren't it.
You have it backwards, women dont have an interest in men who are not equal or better then them, its called hypergamy look it up, then look up the tall girl problem by chris williamson to fid out "successful career driven women" reduce their own dating pool of men because they seek equal or more in their men but they have priced themselves out of the dating market because men who are equal or more then her dont want her because shes masculine asf, if successfulwomen want a man they will need to get past their hypergamous nature and start dating down.
Your examples are a way of masking bad female behavior, men shouldnt hav to put up with womens attitude or put them in check by being stronger or more masuline, this is a cop out for bad behavior, accountability sares all you women but you will have to make friends with it if you want to succeed with men.
Those men don’t ask, THEY JUST DO! 👌🏾💯💯❤️❤️
What's funny is if men were serious about wanting to rest in their femininity, a lot of women are so adaptable, they'd let them. They'd let them stay home, take care of the kids, cook the meals, and do the laundry. The issue is that these guys are too proud and lazy to do even that. Like dude, pick a role, any role and I'll take over the other one. You want to be the woman? Fine. I'll be the man. But if I'm the man AND the woman, what are you for? If I'm doing everything, why do I have you? If we break up, that's one less person I have to take care of. Women agreed to 50/50 which ended up being 75/25 and dudes are like what about 100/0? Why are you here? What are you for?
Right?
I hate hearing the words “if SHE CAN FIND a REAL or good man”. Women, even in the animal kingdom are NOT SUPPOSED TO FIND A MALE!!! Let’s stop using that term and also stop trying to FIND A MAN in the first place. That’s y’all’s first mistake. It’s HE WHO FINDS A WIFE HAS FOUND A GOOD THING not she who finds a husband!!! The person who created men is telling you that men were created to be the “finders” not women and yall women are still talking about finding a man??!!!
If you choose to misunderstand the entire message then that’s on you stop taking what was said out of context.
THANK YOU! I was hoping someone would say it. Everything she said rubbed me wrong. It appears as though SHE has missed the point. You are EXACTLY right. In fact, I’m starting to think that even discussing them on these forums like this, is adding fuel to their stupid ass fire! I agree with you completely.
I absolutely agree with you. Women are not supposed to search for or pursue men. People are doing things out of order, hence all the chaos.
Good perspective. Never looked at it that way. Females are really NOT suppose to Find a man. The man is suppose to find us and see if the relationship can be successful based on what the female wants. Every species operates like that except woman. Time to change the narrative. 😊
@@missrain5164but she has a valid point. Words can have a solid impact . 🤷🏽♀️😌
I’m not intimidated by a fully functional adult
100%. I agree with everything she said. Men are not teaching their sons about how to be in the gap. I can't be around a guy that I can't shut my brain off with. For me starts with their driving. If they have a lead foot or road rage, then nope.
Funny story. My dad wanted to be more helpful in the house, so he did the laundry. He didn't know that delicates are delicates for a reason. Wash tags are on clothes for a reason. He ended up shrinking my mom's cashmere sweater. He felt so bad. So from that type on he just did all the others and left the delicate basket alone. My mom was truly grateful. 😆
Lord... 😚
Your dad is a sweetheart.
They TAKE control, period lol 😂❤️😩
I’ll never forget once: a STRANGER saw me putting oil in my car at a Walmart and this sweet, older, Hispanic man came to me, asked me if I needed help and baby 😩 when I said I had it, he gave me this look 😒😳😆 then HE FIRMLY BUT GRACIOUSLY TOOK the funnel outta my hand, shooed me off to the side and proceeded to serve the situation 😮💨😮💨👌🏾😮💨😮💨
When I say I was left there flabbergasted 😯 at his masculinity honeyyyyyy 😍😍😂😏😏 and he was nowhere near my type but he left an impression that damn near made me feel like swooning!!! I thanked him multiple times and long after he was gone that man was on my mind ya hear me?! ON MY MIND! DAMN lol!
Same. I was all about that strong independent woman stuff but then I met my current boyfriend who wanted to pay for all of our dates always looks out for me makes sure I'm safe and comfortable. It made me feel like a princess and I naturally became more feminine started to find joy in beautifying myself and my surroundings.
We want the leader, not the dictator
How many "alpha" or wannabe alpha men will make any distinction?
YESSSS
In my last relationship I was extremely independent when we met, apparently that’s what attracted him to me. When I would defer to him or take a step back to let him lead he would stress tf out! 🙄 I didn’t want to lead and he didn’t either…so now I’m single again.
You did the right thing. You was his second momma pretty much.
Not all men are leaders and that is fine, because all women dont want to be lead ( and know i dont meand king babies shoudl be encouraged but i am not one to take orders from others, i take suggestions when I ask for them, I allow people to help me out if I want to) Also you need to start our by stating who you are, blindly trusting and think men can lead YOU specifically or even all can lead can be risk and will lead to dissapointment. This is why courting is important dont give access but opportunity for them to show off what they got. Because people have differnet leadership styles as well. Also the leader is the servant to the one being lead. Same way the president is a civil servant, a servant to tha nation to the citizens (eventhough most dont act act like ones). A leader is not a boss, this is where men and women need to be honest with themsleves to you want a leader Or a boss do you want to be a leader or a boss. Also men are not all independent. People think women are the codependent ones but men who seek out codependt people are usually codependent themsleves and vice versa. Independt people have each others back when WANTED. co dpendent people are incompetent and need due to being lacking others services. Also a relationship is a two people agreement wether or not you want to you are leading it by making choices (not making a choice is also a choice that impacts the relationship). It's why if you want to be Lead you need to make the rules for the leadership a frame work for your specific needs (peopel are not the same). an independent man that is honored by the opportunity to lead you guys whill make it his buisniness to know in detail who you are, what you are, your likes and dislikes etc. there is a need of healthy communication and on the person wanting to be lead a willingness to give that data so they can affectively lead. yes first thing comes first they need to already have leadership skills aka qualified for the job but also as the person being lead you are you and they need to cater their skills to your wants and needs this is where the leader takes initiative by paying attentoin, listeening and taking you in and then asking questions to add onto what they know to do their best to lead. So there is were feedback and direction after its been asked for should be given by the person that is being lead. This is why disernment, knowing yourself, compatabilty and good communication is vital. I personally though I like some men who are dominat i cant stand for domineering men (there is arrogance, entitlement, superiority and lack of wisdom and communication and most importatnly respect and care of consent).
This is soooo real
When did independence negate softness? Two things can exist and be true at the same time. Im sick of some of these men being intimidated by a woman's independence. Its like they really want helpless children.
What’s hilarious is, I am waiting for them to define what a single woman whom takes care of herself would be defined as, otherwise. It’s self sufficiency out of necessity.
@@Gem-n-life it's being a basic adult. They call us delusional but fail to realize that independence is necessary for survival. These men hate independence because it gives women the power to leave them.
Let’s be real the so-called independent woman is a woman who lives in her life, even though they thought that they were shitting on her that’s what she is😂❤🎉
All of this. I have yet to meet a man I can shut my brain off with
and it's CONSTANT...OMG...it's constant...
@StarryWaters-gq1oj-🥴 Mine either; however, there is a level of this for us. Our brain will shift to other things, which is still a blessing.
same 💯
That’s why men real men want a women who "wants" them not "needs" them. It easier to make a woman need you. It requires a bit of manipulation and coercion, maybe some gaslighting and bullying but once a man has a woman needing him he can sit back and relax and take advantage of her to his hearts content. But he will find that he is never content or satisfied because he doesn’t value what he got or how it got it. Doing what is required to make a woman want you automatically levels a man up. He becomes a better person a more desirable man. It’s like updating your skills for a new job. It requires more of a man to get a woman to want him and once he has that, he then has to work to keep her wanting him. That’s the difference; most men are too lazy and mediocre to do the work to have a woman that wants him. The rewards of having a woman that wants you over a woman that needs you is immeasurable. Men often manipulate and bully a woman who need him, into doing stuff for him. A woman who wants him will do it willingly. I love taking care of my man and he loves taking care of me. I want him and I want to take care of him because of how he treats me. He doesn’t expect or demand anything he can take care of himself easily and he can take care of me. But the genuine care love respect and loyalty he shows me makes me want him and want to take care of him. No manipulation, no games, no "I’m the man, I lead, you follow" bs. Does he lead? Yes sometimes but not all the time. There are certain things I am better at leading on. it’s not demanded or expected. It like a dance we both know the steps to. Men would be so much happier if the just relinquished this self imposed masculine nonsense that doesn’t make either sex happy.
the only way we are going to find a real man is if we all take a trip to Narnia...we currently live in a reverse grims fairy tale land, where all the men are princesses, and women are the knights and soldiers.
Omg, well said. The men are like doing all the women jobs. Goodness it's like gender roles are so reversed. ❤
Ain't that the truth. It's like a nightmare.
please this is so try but its so funny. This is why i find women attractice platonically as a woman lol because it really be women who are even saving other women and people. when it tell you it is 95% women in my entire life who have been saving me from long term or immediate danger. Like even from men. When they say you need men to protect you from men but its women that are protecting women from men.
I almost died 😂😂😂 about to have me burn my chicken 😂😂😂
The way I was casually perusing the comment section, while stirring my coffee, LOUDLY giggled at that first sentence but she right💯✨️ @sharistewart1337
I'm at a point in my life where I know I can completely take care of myself, and I am happy being single. The only reason I'll want to get involved with a man again is if he makes it his mission to make my life easier and have my back. When that happens... I will pour into the relationship so much and go out of my way to take care of my man right back.
Independent is just the opposite of dependent.
Women historically were listed as dependents of a man.
Nothing to do with personality and character.
Finally someone with a brain. I have been saying this. And independence is for every adult.
@@Lex2034-f7y IMO, the obfuscation is deliberate to serve a particular end.
It's making "independent" a perjorative term to describe and shame women who are not attached to a man, not necessarily for survival as per original meaning, but in all ways.
@@VeeKayGreenerGrass yes!! They have demonized the term badly. It has a negative connotation associated with it. I believe it’s just a lack of intelligence on there part tbh.
Can't be dependent on most of them when they are crying about gold diggers or throws whole family away for newer model woman. Men who specifically ask for dependence are usually some kind of abusers who don't want woman to be able to leave them when they will abuse her.
Yes, it’s simply being self-sufficient.
Don't become a brainless doormat.
Two heads are better than one and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
I hate to admit this but my husband makes me feel like this. Work me and home me are totally different women. Even if we're out going for a walk my brain switches off 😂😂
This is the DAMN. TRUTH. Real harmony is balance. You think I WANT to be like this? Lol life is HARD my dude. No one wants to be like this, we have to. And turns out when someone *actually* helps shoulder the load, you can relax a little.
This reminds me of the video the lady walking around her home and showing all the modifications her husband made because they made her life easier or prevented danger 👏
Ex boyfriend:When will you ever submit?
Dineo Ranaka:When will you ever teach me the God in you? I submit to what you submit to. If your leadership qualities are distorted I have nothing to submit to. Then I am just letting go of myself. I am fully much aware of what a man is & what a man needs to be. I can't teach you that. I can see it in your actions. I can see it. I can discern it. If you are not my king then don't ask for my hand in marriage. I'm not desperate. I am desperate for the God in you. If that God is lacking then you can't date me. You can't ask for submission. Submission is inspired by leadership. As women we become that which the man is.
I don’t even believe real men exist at this point. So many of them have said they were REAL in the presence of myself, an independent woman, and that facade falls within hmmmm a few months. I’m tired of this grandpa and idgaf
At this point, western straight women organise a union, like the South Korean 4b movement or women only Eastern African matriarchs.
Help each other out, learn about financial literacy, healthcare, faith and spiritualities, childcare.
Self preservation and growth for self.
Signed, a lesbian, who's tirud of seeing her straight female friends and some men suffering under the status quo.
"Which table? Do you even have a table?" 🤣😂😂🤣
I'm tired of men acting obtuse about this and willfully missing the point. A couple is a TEAM. We work as a UNIT. It's a PARTNERSHIP. It's meant to be the two of us VS. the problem, not us VS. each other! When men pile all the burden and responsibility on women (life admin, cooking, cleaning, emotional labor, etc), when they automatically assume "she's got it" without ever taking any initiative of their own, the man stops being a partner and becomes another problem. Independence is a necessity for everybody, yes, it can be a trauma response, but whether healthy or not, women who lead with independence often do that because we've been LET DOWN too many times.
At the end of the day. The bills have to be paid. The kids have to be fed. Real women and LIFE doesn’t stop to make herself small just to stroke a man’s ego. Had I did that, I would have a Degree, a career, a house, a car, retirement, savings. Anything!
I’ve noticed I turn feminine real quick when I’m in the presence of a real man like flipping my hair, talking in a soft voice hahaha it’s just natural
Honestly, I think we all do. I googly smile like the Joker and they think I'm flirting. 🥴🤗
It’s actually innate. However, I know the love did not come my way when I had this discussion on a panel of women. 🤣 I held my own, as I wasn’t at all talking about doing this with just any man; however, that’s how it was taken.
If mn had Empathy it would take care of a lot of this.
But they don't.
I was in a weird situation when I was dating this guy and I wanted him to realize that I want him to surprise me and do small things without me. Ask him to my dad always told me this. If a man generally loves you and he cares so much deeply about you. He would notice things without even asking. He will surprise you and do it out. Of the kindness out of his heart❤❤ But the man I was with. He want me to ask him for every little thing close to begging him and it's really sad
when we have this discussion i always have to remind men that doing things for urself makes u RESPONSIBLE ADULT....its not about dismissing them or replacing them...all of us have or had lived alone and took care of ourselves so thats what u do as an adult...but just because u get a partner it does not mean women are supposed to carry more of load as far as being responsible adult....we should be able to balance that...i can cook and u can cook we take turns, i do laundry u do laundry we take turns....if i can go get my tires rotated i dont mind asking if u need me to take ur car but i want that same courtesy!!!
I don't know if I want to be so enamored with somebody that I don't know how to function as an independent mind. I understand the desire, but once you become so dependent on someone doing things, you start to not pay attention to things like you should and a lot of times this is a tactic by men to get you reliant upon them. You start to think well. He's handling it so I'm not going to worry about it anymore. That's a mistake! Let's say he's good with finances and so you see that he is taking the initiative to deal with the finances. That's wonderful but you need to know exactly what he's doing with the finances. You still need to be aware of his actions because once someone gets too comfortable a lot of times they will start to slack on the responsibility of knowing their financial situation and they can also lead to financial abuse.
I agree. Turning your brain off sounds dangerous.
What I asked for from men is not unreasonable: respect my boundaries, have a job, listen to me, know basic life skills every adult should, care about my human rights, don’t tell me what to do, and don’t cheat on me. That’s really it
And do you fulfill this mans needs? If yes then there is no problem you will be congratulated soon as it shouldnt take that long for you to get a ring, if no then why should a man do this for you if you are unwilling to make chanes to be compatible with him, you are in competition with women for these good men, there will be women who demand less and offer more, why should a good man give you a shot?
“How are you a man in a woman’s life when you don’t impact the woman in a positive way?” I’ll keep that,thanks.❤
There are great women who have powerful, sometimes dangerous jobs. They can still be very nice people - I know, I've worked for some. I wonder if we are confusing being "strong and independent" with just being nice to live with. Yes, strong, independent women can be nice to live with ... and nice women can be strong and independent. Again, I've lived with some. I've been very lucky with men and women in my life, and I have never "yelled" at anyone to do laundry.
It’s because they use the term without realising it simply means to be self-sufficient. I personally, don’t want the word “strong” in front of it. There’s an entirely different implication for women who look like me, when it’s used.
@@Gem-n-life I come here to learn, and that comment made me blink. I saw the things said about Michelle Obama, making an insult of her inner strength, her beauty, and her physical health. I am sorry and disgusted that that sort of garbage is not just laid on the very famous, but on a huge group of normal functional people. I'll be more aware with what I say. Thank you for the kind and informative comment.
Thank you. So kind.@@intercat4907
Imagine male lions and male bears being angry that the lionesses and female bears don’t “need” them? 😂 Why are humans dead set on behaving like the very few species of birds who are monogamous and have the male provide? Our males have shown us for eons that the don’t want and cannot handle responsibility, so why force them? Turning your brain off around a male is dangerous. They’re not capable of leading themselves much less you and the kids. He won’t even remember any of your birthdays much less lead the family.
Those ones are the leftover scraps and should be perpetually single.
NARCISSISM IS ENCODED IN THEM. ALL MEN IDEALLY WANT TO RUN THROUGH 100 FINE A$$ BXXXXX BEFORE THEY SETTLE FOR A HOT BEAUTIFUL VIRGIN. If ANYONE LOVES DISNEY LOVE ITS THEM!
After all Walt Disney is a MALE.
because women have not been allowed to be in charge of natural selection for eons men have banned us from fully taking our right of reproduction and natural selection. Men are supposed to present themselves to women and women are the ones who choose if acceptable or not (not under threat or duress or risk of starvation and safety ) using laws, violence and hording resources that btw women did and do take part in creating for themselves it has put humanity genetically mentally and socially back. men and people overall would be healthier, fitter, smarter, more cooperative if women were the ones as they should be incharge of who and how more people are created. women even have better sense then men (particualry smell) which also aids in helping scent out men who are genetically compatible and biologically fit. freaking king henry the wretche dumb toad that he was should not have had such access and power reproduction labour of women. also men do not get better with age sperm quality degrades and mens health due to age can negatviely affect the children genetically, old men make weak kids. also old men are weaker and their health worsening and shorter life span (which men already have so why would women chose old men when even same age men die sooner then them?) will negatively impact the quality of care and parenting the children get and even if you dont want kids, the wife or gf gets. I am happy women are starting to wake up but we need to still stay on our toes and unpack alot of the scams (like older men are better "provider more mature, better at se#) we still belive in. At this point it isnt just for us it is also for the sake of humanity, they have been in charge for eaons look at us stll at the same level at risk as women and the children in civilised society as when we used to live in the bloody ice age ( only now it is men that are the 1# predator and health risk). How many more wars do we need to have? btw se# trafficking is at an all time high globally at multiple trillion dollars in a year (3rd biggest industry). at this point this is beyond shamlessness and wickedness. and it needs to stop and women can stop this with out without men (btw due to women chaning the dating market some few men have changed and have upgraded) the 4B movement is very affective, the descentering, the descernment and limiting access of men to women is affective. the women focusing on themselves and supporting each other (not the pickmes and cool girls or tradbots). The entire earth needs this cleanse ( also all the independent and supportive men who get called simps are also here for it, heard a guy say even if it means he wont get the opportunity of being in a relationship with women if all women were to go 4B to cleanse out the trashy guys it would be worth it) because good men are also tired with having to deal with sexism and toxcity.
I agree. Turning your brain off sounds dangerous
1:27 a whole word !!!! Her WHOLE stitch! 🗣️
💯💯
Women need to understand that many men are not independent which is why they despise independt women. the issue is not they want to be needed, they themsleves cant stand on their own. some men target indpendent women even to break them down to "humble" them it's jealous and anger they feel because they themselves are the ones that need women and are co-depndent and they often dont know or dont want to get out of that. YOu should want a man not need one same goes for men. If you can survive a week to a month without something you do not need it, need is things like air, food, water without that you will die. YOu will not die from not being in a romantic relationship. Needing to be needed also stems from a brokeness within you that also needs to be addressed because it can easily turn into toxci situation when your "need to be needed" is not met (leading to abuse or sabotage so the partner needs you etc.) Two indpendend people will always make a stronger match then to codependent people or a co dpendent and independent match. Because two indpendent people pour into each other, elevate each other even more, are stronger as a unit/not easily shaken, the problmes will come from outside rather then the (dysfunction of codpendent match or co/indpendent match were there will be struggle and break down interanally) and exterrnally). yes people are not perfect but why would you seek out weakness and dysfunction? that is a red flag in of itself, like things seek like thigs, healthy people seek out more healthy and postiivity. Independt women should only consider independent men. And Independent men to not need anything themsleves they are fullfilled and self generating of their own peace they often just seek companionship to share and elvevate experiences. (btw codependent women cant stand independent men, because indpendent men are not eadily impressed by women, they court women they know are on their level). Also I agree with her only some things I dont agree with is that indpendent women will stop being indpendent this creates the idea that being independent is a bad thing or bad in relationships, a man GETS TO do something for his gf, wife. Also women dont need men to allow them to do anything it is not his right. He gets to be allowed into her life and gets the honour and joy show his love by pouring into her life (if that comes naturally to him and it is what he truly wants). Getting to care for your loved one is not an affection token. YOu do good for goods sakes. If it burdens you to care take then it is not something that is coming naturally from hence why broke/codependent dudes are the ones that get resentful when they dont get what they want from a woman despite choosing themselves to do xyz. also hard pill to swallow for women lets not do things that do not come natrually and easily to us and that elevevate us in relationships with men because you will grow resentful when you dont get that validation, or xyz or whatever from a guy when he doesnt appraciate you. RElationships should not be a struggle or break you or make you sick/tired drain you, there is dysfunction there in the relationshio wether stemming from you or the partner or both or the situation you are in.
This is so true..I agree..as a hyper independent girl ,I want to be loved by someone who will make me atease and be in my feminine realm and just trust his character ..period..i pray for this and everyone deserves this
This video is a bit disturbing. I realize that I don't take enough initiative in my relationships (family, friends, etc.) and that can explain a lot of things. I'm always afraid that it won't work and that it will backfire. But from now on I will try to apply this and see what I get
Thanks again for your advices Priscilla👌
I’m independent and soft because I’m naturally feminine and know how to sit my ass down when it comes to a man. I’m not hyper independent & don’t have any trauma surrounding any of that .
I had to tell a friend of a guy I was seeing, “We are not the same.” He was opening my car door, when we arrived at her house. She asked him why he was doing that. I said, if you don’t require it, that’s perfectly okay; however, I do, and that’s all there is to it.
This idea is dangerous
It is very dangerous! I'm glad someone said it. Women should NEVER "turn their brains off with any male, but a lot of women think it's a good thing to be a damsel in distress 😢. It's all in the name of "resting in our femininity" and not being a "masculine" women. I hate to see women glorify female submission, weakness and male authority/power. I can understand appreciating a man that will be there for you and take charge when it's necessary and do what needs to be done, but I don't want to be led like a child or be submissive. A man can be the one in charge and lead in some situations if he is more skilled/qualified, but that's it.
If some women want to be submissive that's their prerogative, but I hate it when women publicly claim this is what all or most women want and try to get other women to be less independent, especially when most women can easily be overpowered and "erased" by the vast majority of men, and the men that women are close to are the most likely to hurt or "delete" her.
My thing is in any relationship is that if I scratch your back, you scratch mine. Like I’m not going anywhere-you got me! I’m right here! I TRUST that you’re not going anywhere either. And, I shouldn’t have to tell you what needs to be done when you would know if you just be quiet and OBSERVE.
They're too busy chasing fish and sticks
There are two kinds of adults males. One is a man, the other a woman in a man's body. Having been with both, I can assure you that real men see a need and fill it. With him your nervous system calms, you feel safe and cared for. Real men adore independent women who also know how to be interdependent. Women who overdo, over give, and mother men must learn to become better receivers...because masculine men, providers, are givers. And they take pride in taking care of their woman.
Hmmm, let’s think about the implications of this for a moment. “Woman in a man’s body.”
Talking about "turning our brains off" around men is not helpful lol
Just say that you don't wanna be hypervigilant
I love all of this.
First of all, I am soft. Could I be softer with a strong and dependable man? YES!!! Reall men don't even debate the issue. They simply do what real men do. When a woman sees this, she acts accordingly. I can do for myself, and I am very happy about that. However, if I were to encounter a REAL MAN who made a point of making my life easier on a regular basis simply because he sees that as his job then yes, I would soften and take good care of him. People call this transactional. It is actually RECIPROCAL! No one person in a relationship should do all the giving or receiving.
What a great take: transactional vs. reciprocal. Such an important difference!
100% ❤
Sick and tired of faux men
I don't need any man I just need God. What's wrong with being wanted?
I have always been independent regardless of my relationship status and I always will be, but it would be great if I could ever believe that I didn't have to be. It would be great if men would at least make it, so we wanted them.
I love your channel
Thanks ☺️
i just think this concept of turning your brain off is childish...everyone needs to be rationale, assessing their environments and tuning with the best ways to maneuver situations..that is normal human stuff..we women have been brainwashed beyond and are still hungering to be lead by other people esp men..That is the issue...not whether you can turn your brain off or not..why would anyone want to do that????
My brain will always be on I'm a Virgo i can't help it. I sleep with my TV because in the silence my mind races even in my sleep.
Not always true. Alot of women are independent because of trauma. Even if they meet a masculine man, thise insecurities within herself comes out eventually
Who said masculine.. real man got literally zero with being masc
Not true. If you are consistent and care, she will learn to trust you. Trauma makes you more careful in this case. It doesn't damage you. It rids you of naviette.
Im spouse free. But I’m tired of being everybody’s wife and husband with zero benefits. 🤭
Also 8:18 - 8:38 was what I witnessed growing up and still witnessing today .
I think it was what my mom, grandmothers and aunts saw as well. Because my sister and I come from a family of women that has always taken care of everything. From bills to domestic labor to child rearing.
It was and isn’t because they’re single or unmarried. Bc they’re all married. And the ones that weren’t married before , were in long term relationships.
Coming from the enemy? Okay imma sit this one out. Y’all have a good day!!
You do as well! ✌🏼
@@Tigerlily_Freshthank you!!! It turned out to be a lovely day. I hope yours was too
We want women that know how to follow not women that have so much “life going on” that he has to follow her lol the woman of today is “so busy” no man will attach himself to that. We love family and building a home together not trends and being seen for social media.
Ask for every little itty bitty thing💯
I hate to say it too but notice how all of the women speaking on this were Black - this is so prevalent within the Black community it’s not even funny 😭 We aren’t used to or even exposed to this type of man like other communities may be so we don’t generally expect it, thus making us even more “strong and independent” 🙄 like I’m tired and want to be cared for too 😂 The one-sidedness is so exhausting! I’ve even noticed that more men these days (Black and otherwise) assume that stereotype and don’t even offer to help anymore (and I’m fairly petite so it’s not like I look strong lol). We end up this way because there is no other option and the cycle just continues which is so disheartening ☹️
If something needs doing, I do it, it just doesn't occur to me to ask. My boyfriend replaced my nearly empty toothpaste yesterday. I just about melted. He noticed and just picked it up while at the store. He does all sorts of little things like this, and those things add up to a reliable person.
I can never ever be with a guy who is not serving me in every way i loose intrest so fast i start seeing them as feminine i will literally call them" girl " as a "joke"😂
I agree with the women.
Does the same go for men? If not then no, it’s not entirely like that for women. A woman can work together with her man and still be self reliant.
Independent women like they have to find secure and not misogyns guys because independent women they can get the insecure and jealous man who will downplay there success be careful ladies
I love it when my man takes charger in paying the bills and I do the cooking and cleaning.😊
Not always true. Alot of wkmen are independent because of trauma. Even if they meet a masculine man, thise insecurities within herself comes out eventually
All hyperindependent people have been traumatized. But do you think this video is about the ones that are not able to be rehabilitated? No. So why derail a conversation with such comments? How irritating.
When are the real men going to get real good women tho, women can't do anything these days without letting everyone know, oh I'm an independent woman oh I bought my house and a man didn't help me,. Everybody celebrate me
Lol