How To Raise Your Children Properly When The Other Parent is A Narcissist?
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- Опубліковано 21 лис 2021
- In this episode, I talk about how to raise your children when the other parent is a narcissist. I explain what mistakes you can't afford to make as a single parent while trying to co-parent with a narcissist.
Here is the link to the workshop:
www.emotionalabuserecovery.co...
Drop a like if you found this video useful
#narcissist #danishbashir
In a nutshell your a single parent protecting them from the other parent.
Behind your back, They smear your name to the child and make you out to be the bad guy . Your child ends up hating you . These people are undescribably evil .
Yes it's true
@@khoango2337 they sure do but I am winning that nonsense. I explain to my kids what narcissism is start at 7 years old and have them watch therapy videos. My husband tried to turn my kids against me but he failed and is failing miserably. 😂
💯
Experience this right now with 2 kids 1 9months 1 4 my daughter has changed being around hur narcissistic mother
I did all thos for my son!
And he has grown into a wonderful person and completely cut out his narcissistic father!
That's a narcissist comment
@@ishakben9786 hahaha. Okay. You win.
How did you do this, I would really value your experience and tips
Good for you! Great Job Momma! Would love your tips and all advise!
Wished the court system understood this. Narcs abusing your child is the worst torture. Difficult to handle everything when you are emotionally battered and diminished and rights are given to the narc. We have to compensate for everything the narc does. Painful experience.
This right here. Sucks even worse when the narc is female, as courts are 100%stacked in her favor. If I did the same stuff she’s done they would have given her primary custody. I’m lucky to have gotten 50/50. Such a waste of space the current court system is
Same
@@uacmarine19thanks for sharing. If a female narc love bombed you, gaslit about a future together, then got pregnant, didn’t tell you and moved 3000 miles away and bought a house with her “ex” she has been living with and had the kid and claims it is yours and you haven’t spoken in like two years, total no contact, and the kid is turning 16 mos. - do you think it is worth getting into the court system? Literally can not talk to this woman and it breaks my heart thinking about a possible child.
I really need advice.
@@tauruschorus if she has your name on the birth certificate it puts you in jeopardy of being responsible for child support, and she will likely force that at some point. It you haven’t spoken in 2 years and the kid is turning 16 months that doesn’t sound like it could be yours. You would definitely need to speak with an attorney about this and determine what your goals are ie do you just want to contest paternity or if paternity comes back as positively yours then start pursuing custody (assuming the 2 years vs 16 months thing was a typo) Ultimately that decision is up to you and sadly, your wallet.
I’m going through this. It’s worse than I could ever imagine. The pain. The desire to just leave this shit life. I’m so tired. The courts are only gitty to help him. It’s so evil. I’m just barley here trying for my child.
As an adult survivor of a malignant narcissist mother, if you find yourself married to a narcissist...children or no children...run for your life and for the lives of your children.
Run where when you can’t.
Hi. May I ask you, as a parent who is dealing with this and my son being 9, what advice would you have for a parent to minimize damage? What to say, what not to say. It feels much like walking through a maze that also is a mine field.
Should I keep my kids away from him when I'm afraid to send them
I've learned to give my daughter a chance to have a childhood of fun, experiences, rules and lots of love and patience. Listen to them and try not to bring in the narc when giving advice. The hardest is the part where when she gets angry is trying to get her to find proper and healthy ways to calm down and work through the emotions.
I lost my daughter to her own pain endured from her narcissistic father. I tried to help her remain in tact, but his repeated abandonment and emotional manipulation was so damaging…
She is now lost to this. And I am left to grieve this tragic loss. Heartbreaking.
God is in control there is hope in christ stand on the word
Way too late, when I realised he was a covert narc. He played her against me from young. On occassion if I corrected or guided behaviour .. I discovered he had been rubbing her back when I wasn't in the room .. telling her it's not her fault. He always calling her his angel. Never did any discipline, or anything for her. By teens she was highly abusive and volatile. Throw objects etc at me for no good reason. In 2 days she is 25 years old, and she hasn't made contact in 9 years. She has just kept in with him. I can only think God protects us from those we should not be near. But it breaks my heart the brainwashing he did to a perfectly healthy child. 💔
My child is 15 and the narc has distanced her from me.
In my cases it's the dog!!
This is a fear of mine. My children are 1 and 2 and their dad is a covert narcissist and he does not discipline my daughter or correct her when she’s wrong instead he laughs at her
@@lotus1716That’s not always true. Children need basic rules & structure for security. You can’t always play the best friend role & children have to have a reliable parent to teach them right from wrong at a basic level. My ex is a narcissist, everything goes at his house & he plays that best friend role to his advantage to manipulate them.
My kids father turned my oldest against me,now he treats him terribly and my other children during visits,to the point I'm afraid to send them back but they want to go
It also helps if you have support from family and friends to buffer the negatives.
Surrounded by cluster B family both sides. A demonic attack. It can break you. You reach out to God.
Which typically you don’t.. the reason you ended up with a narc in the first place is likely because one or both your parents is a narc and so it is a lonely process
Man you are so underrated in this area; this content is amazing!
5 min before I was thinking about parenting n dis video came in front of me
You are a married single parent. I was always the one taking the brunt of his anger so that my son wouldn’t. And I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I was present and active in our son’s life. After the divorce I attempted to co-parent but he always had “things” to do and would drop him off with me. I never minded and always reminded our son that my home was his home and he was not visiting. I don’t think I did the best job of nurturing myself at that time but I was in survival mode. I tried to never say anything bad about his dad. I didn’t have to. My son is smart and he figured his dad out quickly.
This video helped me feel better. It confirmed that I’m taking the correct approach with my kids
I lost all three of my adult girls to my exes narcissism. They are now his flying monkeys. I had to cut them out of my life. My youngest son is saved from it and has no influence. They were never here for my cancer although I made sure I was a great mom. The narc had too much power. You can’t undo it. Leave before they hit their teens. I do not agree with you. My children chose the narcissist because they were teens and he was never home. They told me this. He buys them cars and homes now and uninvited me to our daughters wedding. They are all toxic. I agree with you except on this. They are all jealous of my happy nature and pure heart.
Saw this a bit to late. My 17 yr old son committed suicide in my ex husband hands. He chose to live with the father. He was done and fed up with the father. While i totally understand why he did it. I don't agree with.
Now im forced to rethink and look for tools to help with my 12 yr daughter. She is the victim still despite staying with me. The father has gas lighted her, belittled her and messed her head too. She is now suicidal too and self harms and im i
in panick mode.
I’m so so sorry for your loss! Please seek professional help for yourself and your child if you haven’t already. Sending you love ❤️
It is not your fault, the world is only recently awaking to narcissistic abuse... you had no power to protect your son... I'm so sorry for the unimaginable loss of your son. Its a spiritual battle, the demonic, dark, Godless energy of narcs make you feel like there's no escape - like you said understanding his need to end things doesn't make it easier. I hope there are professional supports to help you and your daughter, document everything and can you communicate solely via parenting app like Talking Parents? This provides accountability for what they communicate. I was not raised religious but in my desperate hour of need I asked God to help me. Ask and it shall be given unto you, seek and you shall find. Google Psalm 12, Psalm 18 and the imprecatory psalms. God's words have power and have brought me through hell alive and largely unharmed, they all expected me to be in the grave like they've driven so many others before me. Once you know the Truth the Truth will set you free. God WILL avenge that wicked one. I pray safety, revelation and peace for you and your daughter 😢❤🙏 🕊
Damn I am so sorry. Truly. 😢🙏❤
This sadness my heart to know some of us are stuck in a problematic relationship, mainly when we have five kids together, and you don’t want them to be raised by a single parent as you did. Our ego is our biggest enemy, as most decisions are based on our insecurities, needs, and beliefs. I learned my lesson on how important it’s to know yourself very well based on consciousness and not on ego, even before marrying somebody. Many blessings
I will watch this video many times as a constant reminder
For those looking to talk to their young children about gaslighting, I found a great book called The Sky is Red by Tyra Juliette Schwartz that addresses gaslighting in an age-appropriate way for children under the age of 10. The book never mentions the word gaslighting, instead the main character is actually gaslighting other characters, and the book teaches the importance of self trust by rewarding the character that decides to stand in his truth. It's actually a really great resource to start talking to young kids about gaslighting in a simple way that they'll understand.
Thank you so much for this ❤
Yes I am doing it alone without their fathers in their lives and they turned out amazing children that even the narcissist gets shocked when they see how their own children turned out fantastic without them. I am proud of myself
Please guide me how I protect my son from his narcissistic mother as he is living with her and I am away from him. He is 9 years old
Please make another workshop, I want to learn how to raise a healthy child being emotionally brainwashed and abused. My ex, his mother, is a malignant narcissist. He's only two and such a sweet and loving child. However lately I've noticed behavior that I want to counteract.
I am a grandmother whose narcissist daughter and her 9 year old son live with my husband and me. We have filled in his nurturing since he was 2 and one half. He is basically a kind child, but over time she has been turning him against me. He came to us mute. In two weeks he was making sounds. He is now in academically gives classes in third grade. I know that we have made a difference, but it's getting harder to deal with his attitude
Thank you!! Would be so grateful if you could continue to share how to build a child up and equip them to deal with the narc parent. So appreciate your vlogs! They have done so much to set me free and help me heal. Many blessings to you!!
Great video. So needed at this time.
Much needed video. Thank you so much.
Everything you have said I have completely been doing and done for the past 21 years.I have been the Loving Nurturing Parent that he could Trust and Depend on. That is how I just who I am. Trust me I have made mistakes and I have Always apologized for what I said or did!
My question is How do u Parent not Only a Young Adult Male Child that is 21 almost 22 yr old Young adult son that lives with the Narc dad?
He is the Only one out of my 3 children (the other 2 children are Twin 20 yr old Females) that Felll the DEEPEST into the Very Dark hole of ALL of the LIES, Manipulation, Gaslighting of his Narcissistic father.
I made a BIG MISTAKE because about 2 weeks ago my son called me Crazy like like his Narcissist father Always did and still does. It was over the smallest dumbest thing. I thought he was old enough NOW to hear my side of the story and clear up all the lies and my reactions to his dads Narcissist Behaviors that made me act and say some of the things that had happened in the past. I called his dad a Narcissist because I did NOT WANT HIM to think that these Behaviors are NOT NORMAL or Healthy in a Relationship.
Since then he has Not SPOKEN to me, Texted me and he has Blocked me from his phone.
What can I do to regain our Loving Relationship again?
Thank you for all the knowledge you share Danish. Been watching your videos for months now
You are an angel. Thank you so much for this information!
Thank you so much beautiful soul Danish 💡🙏❤️, people really need to hear this right now ,bless you 👌💡🙏 x
I'm sharing this video with all of my parenting groups and groups of parents stuck in family court with a narssisitc parent. This video said everything I've always believed was the right way to parent when a narc is the other parent. I needed this to bring me back to where I used to be before he won the custody battle and took primary custody of my then 8 year old. Now she's acting out and is always so anxious about not upsetting her dad by rejecting me. I've been at a loss on how to handle it when the answer was right there all along. I need to go back and become the healthy parent again and give her back the mom she always knew before this happenend. Thank you. And wish me luck because on October 31st I'll be back in court on my motion to modify custody and hopefully get her back at least 50/50 so we can begin to heal.
My husband is overly attentive and sounds like a great counselor To our children. When he is "helping" or " patenting " he always mentions to the kids " see kids as a parent you have to stop what you are doing and actually confront the issue alluding that I am too busy and chaotic to parent. " he makes me feel unqualified. I am dealing with a CN who is a genius very very smart and a great tellers. He has my son hating me.
You are impacting lives. Thank you very much. God bless you 🙏🙏
Thank you very much. I left a narcissist contact today. And this has helped me so much. Thank you.
Thanks for the videos!! Need it !
Wow you cover every combination. So eye opening. Looks like you have really seen life
Dr. Craig Childress, psychologist, is doing extensive work trying to make changes to legal system when it comes to narcissistic parents and parental alienation and the court system. He has tons of videos on UA-cam and a FB page.
Thank you fir sharing x im binging his content
Thank you so much for sharing
this might be the video i would revisit many times until my toddler turns into proper adult
Thumbs up 😚
You are really so understood in this topic.my narc is so abusing.i have to handle all the situation alone my father in law, mother in law brother in law, husband all the narcissist same or other way. So my daughters and i feel unloved no support care etc.my narc couldn't take his responsibility at all.he left alone all of us in miserable condition.
After marriage i had kidney failure,the narc shifted all blame on me. at that time I was in mental trauma whic was given by my husband and by mother in law. I hope you will make like this to help us. I learnt a lot by a videos each and everything wish you narrate in this video very specific and to the point. Your language is very understanding to us as I am from India by English is not up-to-date but I can understand your videos very
If I am living away from Narcissistic mother and son is living mother, how can I save him from her cruel intentions?
Thank you for this video
Please need more videos about this topic please 🙏
oh yes, there were still very big problems with raising children, his word had to be taken in any case, if I went to comfort and hug the child, then the punishment for me was that you went there to be cute and he sits on your head and you can't do that, and now you there's no point in this bed and he didn't even let me sleep in the bed, he said that you sleep under the bed and didn't even give a pillow, etc. in the end the connection between me and the children was completely broken, they were afraid of him and I couldn't comfort them in any way, so I have two one child is autistic and the other is ath and the third child is with him, now it's like he was a little evil himself as if he was a copy of him, didn't I know that after the breakup I have to deal with the children's problems and take back my authority, which he gave me took it away, I had no choice, everyone decided for me how I should raise the children, and giving affection to the children was the biggest crime I could do, according to him, the hardest part is dealing with the consequences now , there are no special changes, sometimes it seems as if the children are worse than when they were under the rule of his fear.
It's just awful when you are showing love(unconditional) and helping the child/children in their development stages physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and you got this person who is there dad and I his wife, showing utter disrespect, unhinged anger,to have such discomfort as tensions rise subtle in the atmosphere of your home.
Unbeknownst to me the natural thing to do is find out what is going on.
So,as I say one thing instead of him responding with care and concern it's condensending and seems out of context and then comes the physical abuse.
Fight or flight and letting him know verbally how I'm seeing things unfolding before my eyes and what my ears are constantly hearing.....I got a bruuuutal discard and the damage was insurmountable.
All this done for just being a human being and being in their presence.
It's definitely a spiritual warfare and Jesus's love,grace and mercy is a part of the solution to ease the tremendous pain of alllll the losses that comes with these types of people.
They only care about themselves and what they can get and they do not care who they have to plow down
If you can’t give a hug give a kind look, if you can’t give quality time give a kind word or a approving nod, kids grow up and see the truth, speaking from experience
This is what I've been dealing with. Trying to be everything my ex isn't for my child. The safe space to be themselves, the nurturer. Talking to them and not at them. It's a battle every day to hopefully keep my child from becoming the soulless, emotionless, material possession and status-focused person her mom is.
I first had to heal from the 7.5 years of trauma that I endured from the narcissist. Thousands and thousands of dollars spent on therapy and chiropractors. I finally feel like my daughters get to see the real me every day.
So true ☺️ thanks
Thank you sir!
(FACTS OVA FEELINGS). Children Ollwaves Set Us Up Unintentionally to make us feel the Exact Same way that wee have been making them feel They r a mirror focus on what eu can do differently to change the way that eu now knoe that eu r making them feel instead of asking the Reflection in the mirror to change
The sad reality, if mom is a covert narcicist that discards you she will get the kid. The only exception is if you can document the abusive behavior well in advance and if she has substance abuse issues. 😢
Thank you!!!!
I’ve married to narcissist since six years.. there’s been endless mental abuse and trauma, I’ve experienced physical abuse twice.. now we have a 3 year old kid .. but now I’m mentally tired of this.. I don’t think that I have anymore tolerance or strength left in me to carry this marriage forward.. my parents are ready to take me out of this but I’m still scared that he might haunt me even after separation in one or the other way.. right now I’m in dilemma about my life, marriage and almost everything.. how to deal with this? Please guide me.. I’m not able to take decisions
First of all, well done on wanting to make changes... You will need to make little baby steps... Leaving a relationship like this is difficult and you'll question yourself a million times over... But you will need to go to a DV centre and the police to report this... There will be alot of post separation abuse, and nothing will be off limits and I'm sorry but they will use your child as a weapon against you and control you through them... You will need a good support network around you and you will find that rock bottom has a basement, but please, keep going forward and do not go back to them... I wish you and your child all the best in breaking free of them xx
Hi Shubha, I can understand your confusion. I was in the same boat totally exhausted mentally but still was so much trauma bonded with my ex and so afraid to leave the marriage because of financial responsibility and societal pressure. But believe it was the best decision to leave the house.
You can also try if not to divorce atleast leave the house and see for yourself you would be so peaceful and later you'd not be willing to go back to the chaos anymore.
If you are safe, feel safe, with your parents, go to them asap. Don't stay with the narcissist, for your own sake, but especially for your child's. Truly, almost any alternative is better than staying with this terrible, destructive, totally devoid of any caring, being.
Document everything. The abuse, everything. Leave. He won’t change but will only get worse
Going tru same dilemma.. scared of child custody wr again i hav to face him and as v share a baby girl...im stressed to imagine to b a single mom wts my future ect ect...
Thank you 🙏
He distanced the child from me.
Thank u Danish ,pls speak more
Thank you
I am in a situation that i can not explain the extreme pain in my heart and my soul is crying bcz of my narcississtic husband who never shows empathy on me and my daughter. She is in a lot of confusion why dad talks like that. I was continuously crying through out the video, that how can i build a safe and a bright future alone for my daughter.
Hope you and your daughter are healing and healthy, sending peace and love to you both ❤
Thank you Bashir i have been looking for this I have a six month old and scared of her future as my husband is a narc unfortunately
Narcissistic mother and enabling father. This was my environment growing up.
Where were you in 2014 , Danish... I had asked my teen kids to move out with me , away from the narc husband, but they refused,as he was so lenient with them and bought them computer games, was an ally to let them be absent from school regularly, etc etc. They are still with him as he is rich. They blame me for moving away to my mother's house in same city. Please hold a webinar to coach us now.
i have then same problem,i understand what your going through
I wish i knew you before...it is like i've been trapped into this it was so difficult and could find no help...now it's a mess and i feel terrible about it.
narcissistic parents have no love for their children. They are jealouse and view them as competition. The non- narcissistic parent has to compensate and raise the child carefully so that the child does not show narcissistic traits moving on..this is the only way to break the abusive cycle.
What happens to the children when they are kidnapped by the narcissistic parent? Are they becoming like the narcissist parent ?
@Danish Bashir, are you still running the webinar? I think all family court lawyers should have this kind of training to support their clients. I was left in the dark and court system itself seemed narcissistic ..and didn't know what was coming and had to learn for myself.
The link is still there, can we access through by purchasing the previous webinar?
Yes agreed 👍
their words do not match their actions ,my mothr says onething and does something else
7 years with a diagnosed psychopath (not their bio father) and now have 1 daughter who played her bio father and I off against each other continuously because he created the situation for that to happen so as an adult became a liar who would make things up about others and spread around family etc. Second daughter is narcissistic. And my son just completely ignores me.
I have paid the price twice over... first a victim of a psychopath, second... lost my kids. Theyre now 28, 30, 33. Three grandsons I dont know.
But I have picked up the threads and woven myself a life.
Hi Danish, i found this vídeo a bit late. Are you doing any webinar related to this topic in the near future? I have a 6 year-old-boy. Thank you.
I hope it's not late I have a 6 year old as well
I'm assuming the webinar was 2022?
Is it available?
Ill tell you how.
Win! And keep winning.
Be a shining example of winning and never give in and never give up. Let them see, let them be around the hard work and effort, let them experience it, and let them share in the results of your your success. Be stoic and focus on your purpose agressively. Ignore her but be respectful, especially for the sake of your kids. Show them how they are to treat a woman. But also show them you wont tolerate her BS. Be the man you always wanted to be. Dont be fat and lazy, dont be skinny and weak. Work and toil and be the example your kids will only be proud of.
How do I sign up for the Dec 5th?
Hi there I need more info on this topic raising my son share care with narc dad
What can you do when your child screams and cries because it doesn’t want to see you or go with you when is the healthy parent parenting time? Thank w
My mind is troubling me again. My son dont want to live with his narcissistic father but his father insisting to get my child from my parents, he's so good in blaming us for my children's action towards him with out even seeing asking himself why our son acting that way. Sighs
my ex who always says he is against kids watchin or being on computer and now all day long at his home my kids watch youtube and play video games and now that is all my kid wants to do at my home
How Sign up on the The 5th of December
Teen with barc parent
Hi ..can I contact u some how to get advice on parenting please
What if children are young adults and their mother is covert narcissist?
My seven year old is with my narcissist ex. He mimics my mothering and turns his phone I have so much physical pain . She should not be away from me I’m her morger
Can this really be done? He shows no regard for the trials and tribulations the children have sustained and takes no personal accountability? Can liars really do this or would they have to be honest with themselves first?
My x of 36 years turned my 3 sons against me! I really think he is going to hell for this!
Can u plz make a video that how to protect my children from my narcissistic mother in law why she is trying to make my kids against me why?? What does she want? She wants her son(my husband) and she also wants my kids what is happening can u plz make a video ???
We wish to contact you ...
are you a christian ?
I am and lives this problem with my daughter
He is Muslim
😎🙏❤️💫 thank you Danish.
I also was thinking.. and your video appeared. Law of attraction. I paid for event in December. Is this in past? If yes- please send me the link to my email
Hei Mr Bashir can u give me your email Sir thanks.