I hope the person who made this song is feeling well today. From the first time I heard this song till now, so many things have changed for me. I hope it has for them too.
@@everyyxy8425happy to hear that they seem to get their life together doing what they love! I don't know them personally of course, but I hope they're indeed happier now
@everyyxy8425 he's changing identity? Oh man.. no wonder the name is now sasanomaly, his songs used to be my favorite, and vanitas OP is one of my fav too, after finding out it was him who made it I'm so happyyy
The song seems really toxic and negative at first, but I find a lot f comfort and empathy in it you know? I mean, it's a really realistic of what goes on in a depressed/suicidal person. The singer makes irrational and contradictory statements ("everyone would be happy if I were dead!" then suddenly "no one would change if I died"). It's comforting since i've felt this way and the lyrics are kind of a shell-shock to what you are actually thinking you know? It reminds that you're thinking too fast and those awful thoughts aren't true! It even kind of has a happy ending, the person sees a "chance to flee" and keep on living. It's just a beautiful and relateable song.
Sorry for the late reply, but I just couldn't not talk about this I first found an English cover of this song, and for the first times I listened to it, I would always cry. It had a worse ending than this, but what made me cry is how attached I felt to those lyrics: sometimes, thinking about how the ones I care about would feel if I died, was what made me shut down the thought, which luckily never escaped my head. Despite being painful, this song completely encapsulates how I, and many other people, felt and still feel, and reminded me that I don't really want to die, just that life could be a bit easier. This song is great, and can make people feel better by putting into music what they feel, untangling their thoughts
*This* I usually don't rant about personal stuff online, especially when the comment section is already as crowded as this one, mostly because it is a big part of my privacy and doesn't concern a bunch of strangers and it's just unnecessary to vent to people who have no personal meaning to you, but fuck it, I'll make an exception now to release some air, because why not. This goddamn song right here, no words can describe how close it hits to home. Self-hatred isn't exactly foreign to me- I almost wish I wouldn't be able to say that, because it shows just how weak I am, and just how little you need to throw at me before I break down, even if I only show it when no one is nearby. That feeling when you take every criticism too close to heart, when you look for negative remarks in everything people say, when you're 100% certain people hate you, when you just don't see why someone would love you, when the thought of someone being excited over you makes you cringe and shake your head, when no matter what you do, it's never good enough to *you*, even if everyone else loves it, when no matter how many times you hear someone say they love you, you just don't believe it and start thinking of other meanings behind it, eventually believing in outrageous things such as them belittling you whenever they call you "cute," lying when they say they love your art just because they pity your shitty attempts, feeling like everyone's laughing at you when you don't hear them, thinking of all sorts of possible dialogues between your friends over how much of a shitty person you are, how much they hate you, how you should just hang yourself, Yeah, that level of self-hatred. And no matter how much you want to die, you know that someone would miss you deep down somewhere, that a certain someone would be let down and sad, that it's silly of you to think this way, and you should try your best to live through it and try to handle things, even if it's always on your own. And then you just end up in that deep pit of "If only they hated me." "If only I'd never met them." "If only I hadn't ever been born." "If only I was the whole world's enemy." "If only I could die in a way no one else would be affected", and you don't tell anybody because you think it's selfish to even consider suicide to begin with, *but you just can't help it.* And you look in the mirror every day, wondering what's become of you, cursing at yourself for being a worthless piece of shit, shouting at yourself mentally over how selfish you are. You can't even make a simply everyday mistake like knocking something over by accident without having a panic attack, thinking they'll judge you for it, thinking they'll remember it forever, having constant paranoia of them bringing it up to show you how dumb you are, thinking they'll see you as useless and pathetic, constantly apologizing in a hushed tone that makes everyone think you're crazy and you just want to cry out for help, but you can't because you think it's just too silly and dumb. I feel like this song describes that level of self-hatred somewhat, even if I did stretch it a bit. And that's what hurts. No matter what, it's just more painful to hate yourself than it is to have others hate you. When others hate you, you can just ignore them or cut them away from your life or get help if it comes to that. When you hate yourself, you get caught in a spiral of wanting to cry and shout for help but then thinking that it's just dumb, that you'll be a pain in the ass to everyone, that you're just being an idiot and can do things just fine on your own. You start to develop odd habits, going to great lengths just to impress yourself. You sometimes give up, thinking that you're just being an idiot in thinking that you'll be good at anything, and instead wasting your time on some dumb game or anime only to hate yourself for being a lazy shit after that. It's like having a thorn stuck in your mind that keeps getting in the way of your thoughts, and it's so far back you can't reach it and just pull it out, but you can't ask someone else for help either because you know it's your weakest spot, and you fear they'll laugh at you for having a big ugly thorn, that once they reach out a hand for you it's really just to push the thorn further in. You're ashamed of something that's already part of you and you can't imagine what it'd be like without the thorn, fearing a new one will just grow.
+Rudale The sad thing is, nobody understands these things until you go through them yourself. That kind of pain is unfathomable. I hope you can be genuinely happy one day. Best of luck. (:
I don't know if I should be glad or feel sorry that there's someone who feels just the same as me. I'm sorry, I don't wanna be mean, but it always feels like I'm the one who's weird and then I think "hey that person is a lot like me" and then again it's just "oh no they probably have it worse." Well something is different because I'm two-headed. There's like... another one inside me. I keep pushing it back because it's ugly and weird and I hate hate hate hate hate it. It's selfish and it thinks that I'm pretty but it says that I'm ugly. It's mean and hurtful. I never wanted it to be part of me so I called it my brother even though I knew it's not someone like that. "He" is mean and I wish I could get rid of "him" but at the same time I fear to not be me and everyone always says I should accept myself. But how can I accept this pitiful, ugly, weird me that can't even go to school like everyone else? I'm so angry I wish I could change but even if I know how and even if I try there's a me that never fades away...
RottenButterfly You need to love yourself. Even the ugly parts. It's easier said than done. But take my advice. You will live a much happier life if you do. Stop running from who you are.
Mackenzie Ichimura Thank you... I know that. And I'm really fighting but sometimes... you know, you see that someone feels pretty much like you and then something insides you shatters. And I think that's what I need to understand - being sad and vulnerable isn't a bad thing. It's normal, everyone's like that. Most likely the people who are able to admit their flaws are the strongest after all.
i've never self-harmed via knives (i've only gotten upset enough at myself to scratch at my arms/legs with my nails) but what the lyrics say perfectly convey the kinds of things i'd think when in deep valleys of depression. "if i died people would be happier because i wouldn't be a burden to them anymore" i still think that, to be honest, but i don't think anyone really cares.
spooky ghost I know your probably tired of hearing this, but you need to stop scratching yourself immediately! I used to do the same thing, and you know how they always say it will escalate to real cutting? Well it's true! I'm sorry if I'm just making you feel horrible, but self harm is an addiction! I used to just scratch or bite myself, but soon I felt that I deserved more pain than that. I recently started cutting myself, just little scratches from needles that I can dispose of easily, but still make myself bleed. It's only getting worse though, I probably would have grabbed a kitchen knife by now if it weren't for the fear of being caught! I'm sorry I know I should keep my nose out of this, but please try to stop before it's too late! I know it's hard and almost impossible to do this, just try to seek help next time you feel like scratching yourself. You can PM me if you need to even.
spooky ghost I do the exact same thing. However, it's not just with scratching myself. Whenever I get anxious or think about a past mistake, I either scratch my arms until they're red, try to beat my own head in, or bite my thumbs so hard that I can see teeth marks in the nail and the skin. I'm glad it hasn't escalated yet, but I still need to search for help. I think that I'm crazy when I say this, but sometimes I wish I were dead. Instead, I keep on living because I don't want to leave everyone I love behind and give myself a pointless death. We have to keep on living, even if life is cold and unforgiving. That's my version of courage. Please, be courageous and seek help if self-harm escalates.
I don't remember how long it's been since I've heard this song. The sad part is, nothing's changed. The song is still how I feel. I may be loved but I wish I was hated. Disappearing would be so much easier. Unfortunately I care too much for the people that love me. So I bare the burden of living for them so they don't suffer when I'm gone.
It's really sad how much I can relate to this. When I first confessed to my family about my suicidal and depressive thoughts, they laughed at me like it was a joke and they brushed it off as me being a "normal teenager". I confronted them about this, and they got angry at me and told me that it was impossible for anything to be wrong with me, because they had worked with people who had depression and anxiety related disorders, and they had all experienced a traumatic event, and since nothing of that sort of experience had occurred in my life, I was "making up stuff for attention". I kept trying to reach out, and when I got the message, I just stopped trying. I wanted to pretend that everything was fine, that I was happy, when I wasn't. It didn't help that my ex- girlfriend had been emotionally abusive, and had caused a large amount of my anxiety. I can't help but think that it's my own fault that I'm this way. When I was in elementary school, I was a huge crybaby, and it got worse when I was in third and fourth grade. My old friends were leaving me for no apparent reason, and they stopped taking me seriously. I took it VERY personally, and I started lashing out and basically being a spoiled brat. When fifth grade rolled around, I convinced myself that the reason why people had left me was because I was too loud and because I was a crybaby. So I forced myself to be quiet and submissive so that people would like me. Some of my old friends came back, but I was emotionally manipulated by one of my classmates, and when I finally stood up to her, and told my parents about it, they told me to "Stop acting like the victim", which hurt me, considering how much it took to actually stand up to her. So I figured that it was my own fault that she took advantage of me, and I started blaming myself for anything. I started thinking things like, "It's all your fault. You're a burden." And "Your family would be so much happier if they didn't have a disappointment like you." As well as, "You're so weak, no wonder people take advantage of you!". And then I started apologising for everything. I couldn't stop apologizing, and my parents got angry with me and constantly started calling me pathetic, and telling me that I was inviting people to abuse me. Later they accused me of being emotionally manipulative like my ex girlfriend, and started getting upset at me for a stupid reason and turning around and doing the exact same thing. After a while, I couldn't take it anymore, and I had an outburst at school, my parents got angry at me, and forced me to explain my mental state. They're being a bit more helpful and accepting, but they're still denying that anything's actually wrong. (Even though they had at one point told me that they were convinced that I had an anxiety related disorder because of my behavior and the fact that anxiety runs in my dad's family.)
@@moiraisstarstruck_ Hey, sorry for not responding earlier! Things aren't perfect, but I'm doing a lot better right now! I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and I've started receiving therapy and taking medication for it, and I think I've improved a lot over these last couple years. My anxiety and depression can still get difficult to manage from time to time, and I still deal with a lot of bullshit from my parents. But I'm still improving, and even though it's been difficult, I'm gonna try my best to keep going!
@@The_Resident_Cryptid its ok don't worry about it! Don't worry my homie theres people who will be behind your back supporting you, their just strangers on Internet but these particular 'strangers' are the ones who will comfort the other homies so i have a message for you! Don't give up and keep living. Don't let anyone bring you down even their older than you! Don't be sad since there will be the people who will be there!
Mack Ichi Who would care, honestly? There's 7 billion people on this earth, they're bound to find somebody else to bother. It doesn't matter, there will always be a person that would be able to replace you.
I find it really sad you think that way. If that's what you think then go right on ahead. I have made plenty of friendships where this didn't happen. I'm proof. So there you go. I'll let you know when they give up on me. How about that?
I'm pretty sure the lyric "just by me totally vanishing, hundreds of thousands of people would be happy" And the ones like it refer to the thought that, "it'd be so much easier and better if people didn't care about me, so no one would be hurt if I died (committed suicide, went missing)" but, of course, there is always at least one person who cares enough, so if you did die, you wouldn't feel at ease knowing they miss you, even though you wanted to die
'just by this kind of me being alive- why's it that you smile so ?' gOD every time that line is like a punch in the face/heart/gut/soul tbfhhh i can't really put it into words but holy shit is that relatable
Ive been depressed severely for almost all my life. I have had suicidal thoughts as young as around eleven. I have self-hatred equal to the amount of sand on a beach% This song describes depression so well. You think you dont deserve anyone and nobody would be sad if you died. And yet you cling to anything that could hold you even if its a lie. Things like friendships and love is just something you want to feel so you throw yourself at anyone who gives you a bit of it. You bring your own hopes up only for them to fall when the relationship doesn’t last. And you’re thinking its your fault and come back to square one. I’ve always been like this. This song hits real close to home and I teared up a bit when reading the lyrics.
it's sad for me that when I'm depressed and about to break down everyone thinks I'm fine and walks away when all I need is a hug to show that somebody cares for me...
Well. Every time I listen to that song.. I cry or I almost cry... Seriously , this song is one of the reasons of why I love Vocaloids. I feel understood for the first time in my life ! I always feel uneasy when I'm around other people because I know that I'm different and I just can't help it.. Edit: who would believe I actually will get 30 likes at that comment? o_o
I always felt like I don't belong here , that no one would give a shit about me... It hurts. Really. And because of that scar , I always seem emotionless.. Because I don't want to be hurt anymore. All of this because.. of a difference.
+Lucy Heartfilia // Otashku Same Im mostly Lifeless I never really smile and if I do Its fake and well most people think im Bipolar And well I do have friends but when im in a crowd I cant. help but feel like I don't belong there
"If I died, would anyone care?" EDIT: Dang, this comment is old and still getting engagement. Don't worry, y'all. I'm in a _great_ place now. Things got dark for a bit, but they got better. :)
I have always loved this song and didn’t really thought too deep about the lyrics in the past but now I find myself coming here in a desperate way to feel understood and protected because I feel like I’m reaching the lowest point in my life. And thankfully it helped a bit.
I genuinely didn’t think I’d make it past tenth grade, yet here I am, about to enter my third year in uni. My birthday’s in five days and I should be excited, but for some reason, I find myself reminiscing over my darkest years. This song always accompanied me whenever I was suicidal, and I found solace in the fact that I wasn’t alone in feeling that way. Listening to this song now brings me a strange sense of melancholy and nostalgia. Odd, isn’t it?
I was actually surprised when I found the original, which was today! I was just listening to a compilation of vocaloid songs and heard a bit of this and instantly recognized it sounding like Jubys cover. Glad I could find the original song!
Kimi no youna hito ni naritaina Bokurashii hito ni naritaina Nozomu nara sousurya iikedo sa Demo sorette honto ni boku nanokai Kodomo damashina yume hitotsu Konna boku nara shineba iinoni Konna boku ga ikiteru dake de Nanmannin no hito ga kanashinde Daremo boku wo nozomanai Sonna sekai dattara iinoni na Konna boku ga kiechau dakede Nanokunin no hito ga yorokonde Daremo nani mo nikumanai nara Sonna ureshii koto wa nai na Ashita mo boku wa yume utsutsu Kono mama boku wa kiete iinoni Konna boku ga ikita tokorode Nanokunin no hito wa shiranaishi Dare mo boku wo nozomanai Sonna sekai dattara ii no kana Konna boku ga kieta tokorode Nanokunin no hito wa kawaranai Dare mo boku wo nikumanainara Sonshita koto nikawaranaina Saigo nanka minna onaji you ni Taorete yukimasu MADE IN tannin no Jibun jishin kuzurete yukimasu Saigo nanka minna onaji you ni Hanareteku no ni Konna boku ga ikiteru dake de Nande kimi wa sonna ni warau no Kimi ga sonna egao ja Kanashikutemo kietakutemo Sayonara suru riyuu nante mou Nakereba iinoni Konna boku ga kieta tokorode Nanokunin no hito wa kawaranai Dakedo boku wo tomeru nani ka ga Sonna kaoshicha waraenaiya
I've been listening to this song for a while now. It's one of my favorites, honestly. It's a song that I can relate to so well, but at the same time, I hate to relate to it. Because not only does it make me an attention seeker, it also makes me stupid. And apparently people who go through depression, social anxiety disorders, etc. are dumb and attention whores. Yeah, society. Just keep on feeding the fire. Look. To all of you people out there who think that people who post things on social media about how they're depressed or that they're gonna commit suicide or anything like that, get your head out of your backside and look at what they really need. Help. They need someone to support them, they're looking for someone to help them. Even if they did want attention, so what? It's not like it's gonna hurt you and make you feel like shit afterwards. It's not like you're one of their closest enemies who wants to make everything that they do sound wrong. So why don't you all just STOP for a second and actually think about what you're gonna say before you say it. You never know what you might do to a person. Oh, and also, about the "autistic" comments. Stop. It's not cute. It's not funny. It's not offensive anymore. It's just rude and annoying. I happen to be autistic, and I'm raising a stink about this. Yeah, yeah, I'm autistic. I'm "mentally challenged" and "don't know how to function in society". Dude. That's messed up. To ask someone if they're autistic out of sarcasm, or make a sarcastic comment on something, is incredibly inconsiderate. Do you like, realize how that makes autistic people feel? Like shit. Yeah, so what if they don't have emotions? So what if they're sociopaths? That doesn't make it okay. In fact, it could make it worse. Honestly, what I'm saying is that you people need to just stop and think about what you're gonna do before you do it. I've learned from that more than I realize. Seriously. And I bet some of you are gonna be thinking, "oh i bet ur mommy typed this up for u" or something like that. By the way, grammar. Use it. Either that or go back to kindergarten and learn the difference between the letter "U" and "you".
Hi uh just wanted to say that your comment made me really happy.....I'm a former self harmer and I've been reading a lot of hate comments that started making me feel bad about myself(even more so than before and for different reasons) so idk this comment just made me really happy....sorry for the annoyance
Silver Rose I'm glad that you found happiness in this comment. That's what I was aiming for anyways; to make someone happy. I'm glad that could be you. And you're not annoying, the comment was actually really nice. ^^
Brandin Nute I agree with most of what you said but you also gotta remember, you can only help so much. If they won't help themselves, then the help is no good and many sick (sick as bad as a person) people out there do use their ailments as excuses for attention. Hence why so many people think that way about people with autism or mental issues. I know how it is as I'm autistic myself but it's as I said, they also should be willingly to help themselves. I knew someone that had many mental issues and everyone tried helping her, but she kept wanting throw pity parties and everyone hold her hand instead of accepting the help by trying to help herself. She just wanted people to hold her hand and she wouldn't do anything to herself, so she ended up homeless because she kept crying wolf instead of accepting the help she received and do something with it. In order for help to be received that person wanting help must accept it by also helping themselves and there's many that don't do that. There are many who use their ailments as something to throw pity parties so you can't blame just the people pointing fingers. There is a reason why so many people think that way about mental and special needs people.
CK Gaming Agree. I mean I do get depression is real and such and not saying teenagers don't go through suicidal thoughts and kill themselves, but most cases with teenagers, I do realize teens do have mental issues. I have Autism. I had to deal with it as a kid, but for the most part the "drama" teenagers do is just well drama. Anyone who was a teenager or who is a teenager, kinda should know as teens, teens are drama queens. Teenagers have more drama than a soap opera sometimes and can be just as corny. And teens tend to do stupid things and lamenting their personal story on the internet is one of them...I mean teens do have mental issues but sometimes you kinda got to realize when it's a mental issue and when it's a teenager just being overly dramatic and that's sorta why teenagers aren't really sympathized that much, because even when it's not a mental or big deal, lot of teenagers make a big deal about stuff. I know I did as a teenager. We all did at some point, whether it was a rare thing or not, at some point we overreacted as a teen or kid or an adult that hasn't reached full mental capacity that maybe shouldn't be on places like youtube to begin with. And as you Ck, said, it's not good idea to laminate a personal story online. Lot of jackasses are just gonna go "Look! Easy target". It's how the internet works. It's not an excuse, it's just more of the reality and if someone is going through mental hell, they need to get off the internet cause no one is gonna help them, even those trying to help isn't gonna help and get some professional help.
Used to listen to this song in 6th grade. Funny. Everything seemed suffocating and i didnt wanna do the shit anymore. My friends were toxic and supportive of my thoughts. I attempted multiple times. Its so weird. I thought id never leave that space. Guess what. I made it. I'm so happy. Im not neat them anymore. I fucking made it. So yeah. I understand if you reading this feel like this. Too tired to do anythign and it seems like this is the only escape. It isnt. I swear. You got this. You always have! I beleive in you!
To everyone here in the comments struggling with self hatred and self harm and not wanting to be alive anymore, I'm sorry. I was in the same position as you for so long and I wish just saying "it gets better" would help, but I know it won't. But I promise you this is not all there is to life. You do have the capacity to love yourself and be happy just as much as you have the capacity to be sad. After spending so long feeling bad, being in pain and hating yourself are easy and comfortable. At some point though, you'll realize how little sense your thoughts make. As long as you can acknowledge that you have a problem, you're already on your way to fixing it. So to those who are already on their way, stay strong and I know you can get through it. The battle never ends but it does get easier, and relapse is only a step back, not a restart. To those who haven't started healing yet, you will make it there one day and realize that you really are an incredible person. Don't feel bad if you're not there yet because everyone's ready to heal at different points. To anyone reading this, I love you and I know you have the strength to live one more day, stay clean one more day, or take one more breath.
I can relate to this. There are some times where I feel like this and don't believe that anyone needs me and just cause trouble. Days go by when I think about just disappearing without a trace and how everyone would be better off without..... I watch this video a lot when I feel depressed.
Slap yourself and think " there are people who love me, and they would be sad if anything ever happened to me" then smile and be cheerful, that's what I do when I get super sad
Plus, how would the world be better off without you, wouldn't it just stay the same.( I wonder if I am just making you feel worse) and nobody can get in the way all the time, everyone's good for something, even if that something is something as simple as helping around the house.
I dont think there is anyone in the world where it would really matter if they just vanished tho tbh so its not something to feel sad about since it applies to everyone, apart from in emotional attachments non of us are actually necessary as individuals
I relate so much to so many comments that I started to cry xD This actually made me feel better xD Sharing what you feel here is good. for you and for other people like me. I don't really like to share my problems, but reading comments of people who feel like me, its makes me feel better. I want to say thank you for the people who write those comments. You didn't only made probably yourself feel better, but you made me feel better too :) Thank you so much!
god dammit i'm crying. I always think that no one would care if i died, and that people would be happy to have me off of their backs. I was miserable. But then I found a friend, one that i care for immensely. Now, whenever I think those thoughts, and i feel like ending it, i always see her in my head. I could never leave her. I don't want to die, I want to live with her, to laugh and cry. sorry for putting one of these comments, i just love this song so much. good bye~
assumptions(you try to idealize what people think about you) can make your self-esteem decrease and sculpt a plan because everybody truly hate you....so you decide to make yourself vanish....in order to make everybody happy."Truly I don't want to die but for the sake of everyone"kind of thinking which makes people commit suicide..It takes a friend to recover your wounded heart.....but if it's too late......you'll see how many mourn on your death and you wish you were reborn.....I'M SORRY GUYS I HAD TO POST A STUPID COMMENT LIKE THIS BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS......................
This song makes me cry because i use to and still can relate to it in a way. it's something you won't understand unless you've been through it, all you people posting on here like "cutting is stupid" and "you're just trying to get attention if you do this stuff" because it's NOT always true. Don't let a few seeds ruin the fruit.
Reading all these comments about how everyone feels the same, and I'm like I belong here too. Vocaloid collects us broken ones, and heals some parts of us.
i happened on this from my recommendations on UA-cam while i was listening to Baloney Speaker and i have no idea if i should be sad or glad that i found this song. Because it's so catchy but at the same time when i read the lyrics i can't help but relate and it makes me feel like a mess. It's a genuinely nice song though, even if it makes me sad.
On a real note guys, despite all the edgy weeb jokes people make, I've always related to this song and listened to it since middle school. I've been self harming for over 7 years and have recently been able to stop after high school. If any of you are young and struggling, please please please talk to someone and have a shoulder to cry on. Don't waste years cutting and struggling alone. We all have different experiences and lifestyles, but what remains the same is the pain behind everyone no matter how young or old. I'm turning 19 soon, and I wish I would have stopped cutting sooner for my health and the people around me. I promise someone cares, and I wish you all the best in your battles, please don't hesitate to talk about your experiences or vent. Wishing you all love
think about it,, if you were starting to feel suicidal even more and turning really sad and stressed due to it, listening to this song feels like this were OUR real feelings and thoughts if we died, but we know if we died we would either go to hell and make everyone upset, but we still think (mostly when we're so down nearly doing it) its not that big deal until someone basically comforts you, even if you wanted to die you just have this one feeling where you shouldn't, you wanted to do it but you're also scared. "it wouldn't affect millions of people" is true but it might affect some of our friends instead and our friends might affect their other friends and it keep going. this song is so comforting and sad yet relatable.
I don't want to die. I just don't have a reason to live. I don't want to live. I just don't have a reason to die. I don't want to be me, but why should anyone else have to? I don't want to be here, but what audacity do I have to complain?
I feel like this song is about a popular girl, maybe even an idol, who wants to die but it would make many people sad. She wishes nobody cared so it would be easier for her to die. Sometimes I wonder if Robin Williams felt this way...
I used to listen to this song a lot back when I used to have depressing thoughts due to my unhealthy coping methods and my family problems constantly piling on top of one another. I'm glad that I never did anything too reckless and I'm doing much better now. I just wanted to come back and remind you guys, especially the ones who had to go through what I did, that everything will get better in the end. Slowly but surely. Ending your life isn't gonna solve anything. It may end your suffering but, did you really want to end your life? You're just not looking for help in the right places. I wish everyone luck and I hope you'll have a great day.
I hate seeing comments about how depressed people are, not because I think that they're attention hogs, but because all the sadness pulls me down and I feel like crying. Everyone who is going through a rough time, remember: there are people who love you, so smile and pretend that the world is made of cupcakes and rainbows, even if it's not. When I get sad, I always imagine my perfect world, and then I smile and laugh, and make my problems go away.( unless it involves homework, that just stresses me out) so smile and think " I am happy, and I will smile". I hope I made you feel at least a tiny bit better, I've never been very good at speeches. :)
Actually this song tells about this feeling when you know that there are people actually caring about you and by living youre a burden to them and by killing yourself youre still hurting them as hell
I watched this video when I was 10, I didn’t even understand the lyrics yet relate to them. I’m 20 now and this song popped up for me again and words can’t describe how much listening to this hurts
I remember listening to this a long time ago, when I was in a pretty bad situation. Well, now I try not to self harm but I wouldn't say I got better. This song is really good and shows the emotion well!
+Meredith Ross I think it's because Japanese teenagers(and many teenagers out there) relate to these songs the most. Japan and South Korea have one of the highest suicidal rates in the world, due to stress from school, work, etc. This makes the teenagers think again and again, these songs are the "voices" in their hearts. And of course, Vocaloids are from Japan, so there's a connection. Of course, there are movements to drop suicide rates, and these songs are just voices for these teens/adults if they ever feel depressed and have no confidence to speak out. This is just my opinion but a better understanding would be going to Eatyourkimchi's video about suicide, it may be from Korea but it gives you an idea regarding suicides, since Korea and Japan are similar regarding these issues.
+Erin Malinay And why are they so depressed - could it be, the more one can see the future as in what is to come for them, the more depressing it may look. For an example seeing yourself only as a servant to society... also understanding that most people won't become leading figures in their respective fields and therefore the significance of ones work may look tiny. Sorry for the depressing comment, my point is to try to find interesting stuff to do and give your daily life some variety.
+Meredith Ross Well vocaloid is a software and it's the same as singing a song but a song is a way to express they feelings and like Erin said japan is one the country that haves the highest suicidal rates and most of the people that listen to vocaloid are Otaku (a BIG fan of anime) and otakus are not well seen in the japanese society because everyone think that when you're addicted to something it's bad or because of lolicon, otakus have a big pressure that leads to the thought of diying so vocaloid is a way to help the teenager that are lost, bulliyed, in love and a lot of other reason
So song writers can express their pain without being forced into therapy, being ridiculed by the public, and spread awareness for these kinds of problems anonymously.
Happiness heals the heart. Luaghter is the best medicence. A hug goes a thousound miles. A smile lights up the world. I know this video is sad but im just going to comment happy thing to cheer us all up.
This song is so relatable to me But at the same time I tell myself I'm not actually sad/depressed because I'm young And adults tell me that to And it hurts cause I feel like my feeling don't matter like I feel like this for "attention" When I was in elementary school lots of people manipulated me and made me feel bad about myself This one girl (let's call her Jess cuz I can't say her real name) Jess when no one was around tell me that I was over weight or ugly and call me annoying then the next second she would act like my best friend She also told me that I was a lesbian and I didn't understand exactly what that ment (I don't hate LGBTQ btw I'm kinda confused what I am rn..) Jess would control my life completely and put me in situations were she knew I was uncomfortable She left the school in 5th grade So I was able to hang out my friend Gabi who was actually a really good friend! But also on top of all that at home my parents always had party's and everyone would always get drunk and that has been going on for as long as I can remember This made me hate alcohol and hate people who drank it my parents also vape and they know I dislike it so they blow it in my face on purpose My parents would always fight to yelling so much My dad would get so mad he would punch holes in the walls or break stuff A few times he gets so mad my mom to took me and my lil brother to my grandmas house and we stayed there for the night When my mom gets drunk she makes me feel bad about myself and she calls me ugly not directly but she does like some time in 2020 there was a party and she told me to put on my mask so people don't have to see my face Also around 6th grade my cousin (who lives far away from me) always spook over text and call She was the only person who was there for me Until she put me in a group chat with people who were her "friends" They always said stuff like "your so worthless just go kys" And it was my first time seeing people be this mean They said worse things to but I don't know what cuz they had there own chat My cousin never told anyone that could help so it hurt cause I felt like I was useless and couldn't help I knew I shouldnt feel bad cause they were nice to me not my cousin they told me they would stop I tried making the stop but they never did My cousin was convinced into doing things like self harm and once her mom found out her mom didn't really care My cousin tried to over dose with some sort of pills idk But I always felt like it was my fault I couldn't protect her The chat is now not toxic anymore she got better friends But now I feel like we are not as connected as we were we would talk for hours but now we like different things and I feel like I don't fit in with her any more My friend Gabi who was the good friend I feel like she is getting bored of me She is nice really but sometimes she will say " Turns off messages notifications" In text and I know that's not "really mean" But it makes me feel like I annoy her and I don't want to but I guess it can't be helped. After all this I just feel so numb I feel sad but most if the time I feel like I just don't care anymore That I don't care about myself or anyone Except for like 3-4 people I just wanna disappear I don't want people to care about me so I can just leave. There's so much I left out but I mean how much can I type? Bye I just hope who ever read this that you know that it's okay to feel the way and I hope so much that it gets better for you! 💖
hey, i know i can't do anything about your situation except share a few words, but i really hope you're doing okay right now. you managed to get up and push through today, so i'm happy about that. you don't deserve anything that those people told you, okay?
@@mars3122 om your so kind thank you 💖 I hope anything you might be going through gets better or if your at your happiest just wanna say good job cause life is hard :)
*TRIGGER WARNING* i don't get emotional, for some reason i just don't but this, this song hits me right in the gut it just is so sad and yet SOO comforting cause i can relate more than i should. i have no idea how but it almost feels like this song was meant for me, i began SH 3 or 4 months ago and ever since an encounter i had with my dad i just felt like a useless child like that other song i relate to :) i HATE admitting this is anyone but i lowkey feel safe here so here goes, i have tried to kms at least 14 times but never went to the hospital cause i never got TOO hurt i just got minor bruises that i could easily cover up, i would fall out of windows that weren't too high and hold my breath as long as possible whenever i went swimming.sometimes i would hurt myself when i was younger but i didn't cut like i do now, and i broke my own ankle on purpose once in 4th grade but told people it was an accident . this song really motivated me to share this information that i never have so i hope no one will judge me and if you do then ok idk.
Please keep fighting your battle! I used to SH for 9 years and never thought it would get better, but now I am in a much better place. Please try to find someone to talk to and come up with good coping mechanisms (like listening to this song) as hurting yourself is never, ever, EVER worth it. I care about you, don't give up.
So I revisit this place after getting through some extremely crappy phase (Note my comment from 6 months ago) Haah, I'm so happy that I'm out of that stupid situation
This is one of the few Vocaloid songs I could relate to, I don't live in the best environment with my mom being emotionally abusive and holding me hostage to almost all my decisions, I have to go to her for permission and she sets up ridiculous high standards that I have to reach. There has been moments where my anxiety and depression is so high I really want to disappear or just have a different life all together. I don't have real life friends to go to for a temporary shelter, but I have online friends, but I still have awful thoughts of just evaporating from life. I just hope this cycle stops some day. I feel emotionally drained almost every single day.
Omg, I was looking for this song for HOURS! I knew the word "color" was in the song name, but I was otherwise clueless. And different results were coming up, so I legit searched "sad vocaloid songs" STRESSFUL
I’ve only self harmed by scratching myself and hitting myself, but I don’t have thoughts about killing myself and I never cut myself with sharp objects **hugs all of the depressed people in the comments and in the world**
tbh, I don't really like this song, but it used to be relatable to me. I was lonely, my stuffed animal was my closest friend, and I had severe anxiety every day. I just wanted to cry, but I told myself that the anxiety was dumb. I had everything I wanted. parents that cared, friends that were loyal, but there was a lump in my throat every day. I dismissed it, saying it was just me being ungrateful. I had toxic teachers that shamed me in front of the whole class. with that, I was also traumatized by the amount of depressing stuff that I saw. the anxiety melted away, but it was too late. it turned into a greater lump...depression. then, my best friend unexpectedly died. that worsened everything. after I got over that, I found out one of my friends made an attempt, and I told the counselors to protect them. then, my friend's friend got defensive and started attacking me, sending me threats and even brought weapons to school. we made up, but I still don't trust her. after that, the district made a new school, and transferred half the school to the new school. I lost 15 of my 23 friends at school. finally, with therapy, treatment, support and amazing people, and being persistent, I got over it. I made it. I'm fine now, happier than ever. I have a great support system, many friends, and I'm happy, and I understand healing. sorry for venting, thats it lol
Kimi no you na hito ni naritai na "Boku rashii hito" ni naritai na Nozomu nara sou surya ii kedo sa Demo sore tte honto ni boku na no kai Kodomodamashi na yume hitotsu Kon'na boku nara shineba ii no ni Kon'na boku ga ikite'ru dake de Nanman'nin no hito ga kanashinde Daremo boku wo nozomanai Son'na sekai dattara ii noni na Kon'na boku ga kiechau dake de Nan'okunin no hito ga yorokonde Daremo nani mo nikumanai nara Son'na ureshii koto wa nai na Ashita mo boku wa yume utsutsu Kono mama boku wa kiete ii noni Kon'na boku ga ikita tokoro de Nan'okunin no hito wa shiranai shi Dare mo boku wo nozomanai Son'na sekai dattara ii no ka na Kon'na boku ga kieta tokoro de Nan'okunin no hito wa kawaranai Dare mo boku wo nikumanai nara Son shita koto ni kawarinai na Saigo nanka min'na onaji you ni taorete yukimasu MEIDO IN tanin no "jibun jishin" kuzurete yukimasu Saigo nanka min'na onaji you ni hanarete'ku noni Kon'na boku ga ikite'ru dake de Nande kimi wa son'na ni warau no Kimi ga son'na egao ja Kanashikute mo kietakute mo Sayonara suru riyuu nante mou Nakereba ii noni Kon'na boku ga kieta tokoro de Nan'okunin no hito wa kawaranai Dakedo boku wo tomeru nanika ga Son'na kao shicha waraenai ya
As an artist, this song really reminds me of how I feel about my art. So many people insult it or think it's ugly or ignore me. I can't go a single day without feeling awful, that it would be better if I stopped creating and disappeared. I wish I could, but even though there is a large chunk of people that detest my art, there are some that are still nice to me and (presumably) appreciate me. This song isn't just about depression or self-hatred, but about the complexities of knowing that even in all the darkness and hatred in this world, there are still people that care about you. It's so hard to accept
If any one here needs someone to talk to I'm here, message me. Just don't hurt yourself any longer, suicide is not the answer. Everyone has inside them a piece of good news, a piece of hope. You don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is.
ShineLB Old Channel I swear, I legit cried while reading this comment, because everyone in my school literally Said I should go die, and all my friends left me, I had completely lost hope, as it all happened recently, and I thought that no one would ever be nice again to me, And I know this was to a large general audience, it felt like it was directed towards Me. Thank you so much.
After another year, I'm in the comment section again. Now my reason to listen to this song is to actually feel sad. When you repress your feelings for a long time you eventually feel worse than you did in the first place or end up feeling an 'empty' type of sadness and fear.
i dont cut myself but i hated myself,im ugly and all those crap but my friends who cared about me stops me becos i shine a bright smile to them but a part of me just wants to be turn into gray and if people didnt care for me its easier for self harm
+Forlorn Ghost it affected my closest friends and i would be happy if i "purposely" killed myself, My enemies are happy about it but most of my friends care about me too much so there scared if i cut myself and even when i said " dont worry" but they still worry about me, life is stressful and the world is cruel and ik that, and my real name is Jasmine
+Forlorn Ghost well they care and it sometimes gets annoying when like i carry a scissor and they think the wrong way, Well i appreciate theyre help too, But whenever i get depressed and whatever i say crap about myself they get mad and hurts them too but im saying it too myself.
+Forlorn Ghost since i live in a place that has a drink which is green tea and it has my name. People would go immature and call me names.-. Its norma for me really, I went far on life and im still living Becos people stop me from harm which kinda the reason why i never got to cut myself but i find other ways But for people and for ur sake too ill not do it, I appreciate Ur tips and Thx for liking my name, For me its plain anyways especially my first name sofia is plain (jasmine is a nickname but ive been called that for my whole life so.ya)
I cried bc there is so much good ppl who supporting each other meanwhile they dont know each other in rl. Thankyou for making me stay by reading your supporting comment.
I, who isn’t me, I, who nobody cares about anymore, I, who wishes to disappear. Is the same with the me who was built from what others wanted, making me more hollow than I ever was. So even if I died, it would be just the death of the flesh. I am already rotting.
Y’all remember that harming and killing yourself doesn’t fix anything it just spreads your sadness If you’re feeling like you want to do that then please find help in a mental health professional, if you talk them enough they can diagnose what’s causing your sadness and will do anything they can to help you Also if you were to talk to a person who has failed an attempt at dying they’ll most likely tell you that it isn’t the way to go same for if you were to talk to the dead This is for anyone who feels bad I just want you to know it gets better if you make it better, so when your brain tells you to be sad respond with fricc you
Oh fuck here come the tears (sorry for the language but this affects me a lot) also where the hell are the thumbs up thumbs down and reply buttons for comments?!
This song helps me write sad poetry and get inspiration for sad artwork. Also helps me imagine character death. Yeah this is a niceeeeeee song. I wrote a poem based on this actually. Go on deviantART and search the name of the song and there's my poem voila. ~bows~ goodbye
Self Harm Colorless is a good song that teach us how depressed people see in their point of view about living. The good point is we understand how depressed people feel in this song :T
I believe it is about wishing you were unwanted and unnecessary, so you could commit suicide without hurting anyone, or maybe even making others happier. The act of suicide holds a lot of guilt when you know how it'll affect others (the song speaks about how in their 'final hour others will crumble' and will be 'separated the same way'), so she repeatedly speaks of how no one wants her, then says "If only it were that kind of a world".
.... I'm sorry. I cannot protect you. I cannot cure illness with my words. In short. I cannot save you. But one day, I will meet you, and if you did, I will be the savior for you.
I'm glad that I found this song, I suffered from bullying in school and it caused me to harm myself, I thought nobody else felt that way but I'm not alone
I've loved this song since the first time I've heard it. I still feel the same way,but,right now I have a little bit of hope cause i'm treating my depression,anxiety,eds and others so I'm in a better place,and I hope everything will be okay soon,for me and for all of you who are feeling the same way.
![[Hatsune Miku] Hyperventilation Dance 過呼吸ダンス PV (English Subs)](/img/n.gif)
ah... "i wish that no one cared about me, so that if i died, no one would get hurt..." what an accurate depiction...
Accuracy is key to......life(?)
+WhateverThatMeans same here!
+WhateverThatMeans doesn't everyone?
True...
People care about me so i cant...
Yeah, how accurate that :)
I hope the person who made this song is feeling well today. From the first time I heard this song till now, so many things have changed for me. I hope it has for them too.
yeah! he is nekobolo is now sasanomaly, he's done a few good anime openings and stuff (the case study of vanitas season 1's OP especially)
@@everyyxy8425oh my god for real?? thats one of my favorite openings, no wonder 🏃♀️
@@everyyxy8425happy to hear that they seem to get their life together doing what they love! I don't know them personally of course, but I hope they're indeed happier now
@everyyxy8425 he's changing identity? Oh man.. no wonder the name is now sasanomaly, his songs used to be my favorite, and vanitas OP is one of my fav too, after finding out it was him who made it I'm so happyyy
@@everyyxy8425 WHATTT REALLY OMGG
The song seems really toxic and negative at first, but I find a lot f comfort and empathy in it you know? I mean, it's a really realistic of what goes on in a depressed/suicidal person.
The singer makes irrational and contradictory statements ("everyone would be happy if I were dead!" then suddenly "no one would change if I died"). It's comforting since i've felt this way and the lyrics are kind of a shell-shock to what you are actually thinking you know?
It reminds that you're thinking too fast and those awful thoughts aren't true! It even kind of has a happy ending, the person sees a "chance to flee" and keep on living.
It's just a beautiful and relateable song.
Sorry for the late reply, but I just couldn't not talk about this
I first found an English cover of this song, and for the first times I listened to it, I would always cry. It had a worse ending than this, but what made me cry is how attached I felt to those lyrics: sometimes, thinking about how the ones I care about would feel if I died, was what made me shut down the thought, which luckily never escaped my head.
Despite being painful, this song completely encapsulates how I, and many other people, felt and still feel, and reminded me that I don't really want to die, just that life could be a bit easier. This song is great, and can make people feel better by putting into music what they feel, untangling their thoughts
man, that comment was 9 years ago. It’s nice how though this was so long ago we all can feel the same hurt
Yess exactly what i was looking for
*This*
I usually don't rant about personal stuff online, especially when the comment section is already as crowded as this one, mostly because it is a big part of my privacy and doesn't concern a bunch of strangers and it's just unnecessary to vent to people who have no personal meaning to you, but fuck it, I'll make an exception now to release some air, because why not.
This goddamn song right here, no words can describe how close it hits to home.
Self-hatred isn't exactly foreign to me- I almost wish I wouldn't be able to say that, because it shows just how weak I am, and just how little you need to throw at me before I break down, even if I only show it when no one is nearby.
That feeling when you take every criticism too close to heart, when you look for negative remarks in everything people say, when you're 100% certain people hate you, when you just don't see why someone would love you, when the thought of someone being excited over you makes you cringe and shake your head, when no matter what you do, it's never good enough to *you*, even if everyone else loves it, when no matter how many times you hear someone say they love you, you just don't believe it and start thinking of other meanings behind it, eventually believing in outrageous things such as them belittling you whenever they call you "cute," lying when they say they love your art just because they pity your shitty attempts, feeling like everyone's laughing at you when you don't hear them, thinking of all sorts of possible dialogues between your friends over how much of a shitty person you are, how much they hate you, how you should just hang yourself,
Yeah, that level of self-hatred.
And no matter how much you want to die, you know that someone would miss you deep down somewhere, that a certain someone would be let down and sad, that it's silly of you to think this way, and you should try your best to live through it and try to handle things, even if it's always on your own.
And then you just end up in that deep pit of "If only they hated me." "If only I'd never met them." "If only I hadn't ever been born." "If only I was the whole world's enemy." "If only I could die in a way no one else would be affected", and you don't tell anybody because you think it's selfish to even consider suicide to begin with, *but you just can't help it.* And you look in the mirror every day, wondering what's become of you, cursing at yourself for being a worthless piece of shit, shouting at yourself mentally over how selfish you are. You can't even make a simply everyday mistake like knocking something over by accident without having a panic attack, thinking they'll judge you for it, thinking they'll remember it forever, having constant paranoia of them bringing it up to show you how dumb you are, thinking they'll see you as useless and pathetic, constantly apologizing in a hushed tone that makes everyone think you're crazy and you just want to cry out for help, but you can't because you think it's just too silly and dumb.
I feel like this song describes that level of self-hatred somewhat, even if I did stretch it a bit. And that's what hurts. No matter what, it's just more painful to hate yourself than it is to have others hate you. When others hate you, you can just ignore them or cut them away from your life or get help if it comes to that. When you hate yourself, you get caught in a spiral of wanting to cry and shout for help but then thinking that it's just dumb, that you'll be a pain in the ass to everyone, that you're just being an idiot and can do things just fine on your own. You start to develop odd habits, going to great lengths just to impress yourself. You sometimes give up, thinking that you're just being an idiot in thinking that you'll be good at anything, and instead wasting your time on some dumb game or anime only to hate yourself for being a lazy shit after that.
It's like having a thorn stuck in your mind that keeps getting in the way of your thoughts, and it's so far back you can't reach it and just pull it out, but you can't ask someone else for help either because you know it's your weakest spot, and you fear they'll laugh at you for having a big ugly thorn, that once they reach out a hand for you it's really just to push the thorn further in. You're ashamed of something that's already part of you and you can't imagine what it'd be like without the thorn, fearing a new one will just grow.
+Rudale The sad thing is, nobody understands these things until you go through them yourself. That kind of pain is unfathomable. I hope you can be genuinely happy one day. Best of luck. (:
It's sad when you can relate. I wish you luck through this.
I don't know if I should be glad or feel sorry that there's someone who feels just the same as me. I'm sorry, I don't wanna be mean, but it always feels like I'm the one who's weird and then I think "hey that person is a lot like me" and then again it's just "oh no they probably have it worse."
Well something is different because I'm two-headed. There's like... another one inside me. I keep pushing it back because it's ugly and weird and I hate hate hate hate hate it.
It's selfish and it thinks that I'm pretty but it says that I'm ugly. It's mean and hurtful. I never wanted it to be part of me so I called it my brother even though I knew it's not someone like that. "He" is mean and I wish I could get rid of "him" but at the same time I fear to not be me and everyone always says I should accept myself. But how can I accept this pitiful, ugly, weird me that can't even go to school like everyone else? I'm so angry I wish I could change but even if I know how and even if I try there's a me that never fades away...
RottenButterfly You need to love yourself. Even the ugly parts. It's easier said than done. But take my advice. You will live a much happier life if you do. Stop running from who you are.
Mackenzie Ichimura Thank you... I know that. And I'm really fighting but sometimes... you know, you see that someone feels pretty much like you and then something insides you shatters. And I think that's what I need to understand - being sad and vulnerable isn't a bad thing. It's normal, everyone's like that. Most likely the people who are able to admit their flaws are the strongest after all.
i've never self-harmed via knives (i've only gotten upset enough at myself to scratch at my arms/legs with my nails) but what the lyrics say perfectly convey the kinds of things i'd think when in deep valleys of depression. "if i died people would be happier because i wouldn't be a burden to them anymore" i still think that, to be honest, but i don't think anyone really cares.
spooky ghost self-harm.. i just hoping i can do that.. but i'm always try to hurt my mentally.. :')
spooky ghost I know your probably tired of hearing this, but you need to stop scratching yourself immediately! I used to do the same thing, and you know how they always say it will escalate to real cutting? Well it's true!
I'm sorry if I'm just making you feel horrible, but self harm is an addiction! I used to just scratch or bite myself, but soon I felt that I deserved more pain than that. I recently started cutting myself, just little scratches from needles that I can dispose of easily, but still make myself bleed. It's only getting worse though, I probably would have grabbed a kitchen knife by now if it weren't for the fear of being caught!
I'm sorry I know I should keep my nose out of this, but please try to stop before it's too late! I know it's hard and almost impossible to do this, just try to seek help next time you feel like scratching yourself. You can PM me if you need to even.
spooky ghost I do the exact same thing. However, it's not just with scratching myself. Whenever I get anxious or think about a past mistake, I either scratch my arms until they're red, try to beat my own head in, or bite my thumbs so hard that I can see teeth marks in the nail and the skin. I'm glad it hasn't escalated yet, but I still need to search for help. I think that I'm crazy when I say this, but sometimes I wish I were dead. Instead, I keep on living because I don't want to leave everyone I love behind and give myself a pointless death.
We have to keep on living, even if life is cold and unforgiving. That's my version of courage. Please, be courageous and seek help if self-harm escalates.
I feel the same but I do it with butterfly knives bc my sis collects them
@@tunaicecream7978its sweet that you want them to stop, but its not really that easy sadly.
I don't remember how long it's been since I've heard this song. The sad part is, nothing's changed. The song is still how I feel.
I may be loved but I wish I was hated. Disappearing would be so much easier. Unfortunately I care too much for the people that love me. So I bare the burden of living for them so they don't suffer when I'm gone.
I'm the same
grim reaper same
same
It's strange. I never knew someone who would want to be hated. Why dissapearing would be easier?
Right in the feels.
It's really sad how much I can relate to this. When I first confessed to my family about my suicidal and depressive thoughts, they laughed at me like it was a joke and they brushed it off as me being a "normal teenager". I confronted them about this, and they got angry at me and told me that it was impossible for anything to be wrong with me, because they had worked with people who had depression and anxiety related disorders, and they had all experienced a traumatic event, and since nothing of that sort of experience had occurred in my life, I was "making up stuff for attention". I kept trying to reach out, and when I got the message, I just stopped trying. I wanted to pretend that everything was fine, that I was happy, when I wasn't. It didn't help that my ex- girlfriend had been emotionally abusive, and had caused a large amount of my anxiety.
I can't help but think that it's my own fault that I'm this way. When I was in elementary school, I was a huge crybaby, and it got worse when I was in third and fourth grade. My old friends were leaving me for no apparent reason, and they stopped taking me seriously. I took it VERY personally, and I started lashing out and basically being a spoiled brat. When fifth grade rolled around, I convinced myself that the reason why people had left me was because I was too loud and because I was a crybaby. So I forced myself to be quiet and submissive so that people would like me. Some of my old friends came back, but I was emotionally manipulated by one of my classmates, and when I finally stood up to her, and told my parents about it, they told me to "Stop acting like the victim", which hurt me, considering how much it took to actually stand up to her. So I figured that it was my own fault that she took advantage of me, and I started blaming myself for anything. I started thinking things like, "It's all your fault. You're a burden." And "Your family would be so much happier if they didn't have a disappointment like you." As well as, "You're so weak, no wonder people take advantage of you!". And then I started apologising for everything.
I couldn't stop apologizing, and my parents got angry with me and constantly started calling me pathetic, and telling me that I was inviting people to abuse me. Later they accused me of being emotionally manipulative like my ex girlfriend, and started getting upset at me for a stupid reason and turning around and doing the exact same thing. After a while, I couldn't take it anymore, and I had an outburst at school, my parents got angry at me, and forced me to explain my mental state. They're being a bit more helpful and accepting, but they're still denying that anything's actually wrong. (Even though they had at one point told me that they were convinced that I had an anxiety related disorder because of my behavior and the fact that anxiety runs in my dad's family.)
Hey it's been 2 years! How are you :D?
@@moiraisstarstruck_ Hey, sorry for not responding earlier! Things aren't perfect, but I'm doing a lot better right now! I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and I've started receiving therapy and taking medication for it, and I think I've improved a lot over these last couple years. My anxiety and depression can still get difficult to manage from time to time, and I still deal with a lot of bullshit from my parents. But I'm still improving, and even though it's been difficult, I'm gonna try my best to keep going!
@@The_Resident_Cryptid its ok don't worry about it! Don't worry my homie theres people who will be behind your back supporting you, their just strangers on Internet but these particular 'strangers' are the ones who will comfort the other homies so i have a message for you!
Don't give up and keep living. Don't let anyone bring you down even their older than you! Don't be sad since there will be the people who will be there!
@@The_Resident_Cryptid well you aren't only one and u are in some ways well lucky
*BYE*
I hope you’re okay! I hope you don’t take su1c1d1e
To the world you may be one person. But to one person, you are the world.
+Mackenzie Ichimura This affected me really strongly and I'm not sure why.
+Mack Ichi Yeah, except if you don't have anybody that thinks that way about you.
+CBDangerous Won't find that person unless you stick around to find out.
Mack Ichi Who would care, honestly? There's 7 billion people on this earth, they're bound to find somebody else to bother. It doesn't matter, there will always be a person that would be able to replace you.
I find it really sad you think that way. If that's what you think then go right on ahead. I have made plenty of friendships where this didn't happen. I'm proof. So there you go. I'll let you know when they give up on me. How about that?
I'm pretty sure the lyric "just by me totally vanishing, hundreds of thousands of people would be happy" And the ones like it refer to the thought that, "it'd be so much easier and better if people didn't care about me, so no one would be hurt if I died (committed suicide, went missing)" but, of course, there is always at least one person who cares enough, so if you did die, you wouldn't feel at ease knowing they miss you, even though you wanted to die
I say this speaking from personal experience, because that's how I interpret it. anyone think of something similar?
I feel the same,there are lots of chinese sub interpret this way
+Ashtag_XD even if your different people care
Lmaoooo you fuckin weeeb
How's life treating you you depressed lil shit
@@toiboiskullguy9331 are you good?
It's . Just . Too. Relatable .
Jamezu Hollar I know right it makes me wanna cry
Self-Harm Colorless is getting alot of hate lately jfc its a good song
Would like but. Its at 69 sooo
@@rxie6005
133-
Its cuz its like "self inflicted achromatic"
@@lonnie1647 it *is* self inflicted achromatic c:
@@ghstly4188 why is its name different tho
'just by this kind of me being alive- why's it that you smile so ?' gOD every time that line is like a punch in the face/heart/gut/soul tbfhhh i can't really put it into words but holy shit is that relatable
Ive been depressed severely for almost all my life. I have had suicidal thoughts as young as around eleven. I have self-hatred equal to the amount of sand on a beach% This song describes depression so well. You think you dont deserve anyone and nobody would be sad if you died. And yet you cling to anything that could hold you even if its a lie. Things like friendships and love is just something you want to feel so you throw yourself at anyone who gives you a bit of it. You bring your own hopes up only for them to fall when the relationship doesn’t last. And you’re thinking its your fault and come back to square one.
I’ve always been like this. This song hits real close to home and I teared up a bit when reading the lyrics.
are you okay?
No he isnt he killed himself@@Prettyc00lhuh_
THIS. but fr now, I hope you get better soon! Please keep on living, you got this! /pos
Why are all the catchy songs depressing.... -.-"
*cough* kikuo
Dang...this fall allergy really has all of us under the weather!
* cough* kikuo *cough *
vianni ray Suboc If you like you're a useless child, do you like solitary hide and seek?
GiraffeGirl Already seen it,I love it so much actually
it's sad for me that when I'm depressed and about to break down everyone thinks I'm fine and walks away when all I need is a hug to show that somebody cares for me...
That sucks. Free huggle *huggles you*
*wraps in big hug*
Whenever I listen to a depressing vocaloid song that makes me really depressed, my iFunny notifications come on. How sweet.
The Shadow XD
I F U N N Y W A T E R M A R K
Well. Every time I listen to that song.. I cry or I almost cry... Seriously , this song is one of the reasons of why I love Vocaloids. I feel understood for the first time in my life ! I always feel uneasy when I'm around other people because I know that I'm different and I just can't help it..
Edit: who would believe I actually will get 30 likes at that comment? o_o
I always felt like I don't belong here , that no one would give a shit about me... It hurts. Really. And because of that scar , I always seem emotionless.. Because I don't want to be hurt anymore. All of this because.. of a difference.
+Lucy Heartfilia // Otashku Same Im mostly Lifeless I never really smile and if I do Its fake and well most people think im Bipolar And well I do have friends but when im in a crowd I cant. help but feel like I don't belong there
crazygal Mercado Feliciano thank you so much for commenting here !
+Lucy Heartfilia // Otashku No prob
I feel the same! Don't worry, we are in this together! It's relatable to both of us! Your Not Alone!!
Oh my god
I relate to this song so deeply I'm actually crying.
Ayo! Its been 4 years! How are you!
7 years now.
how well is it going?
this song is comforting in a weird way plus the comments make me feel less alone in feeling this way
"If I died, would anyone care?"
EDIT: Dang, this comment is old and still getting engagement. Don't worry, y'all. I'm in a _great_ place now. Things got dark for a bit, but they got better. :)
depends ≧◇≦
Oh, that's just cold.
+Carmenyoohoo sry :-!
+Carmenyoohoo Yes, someone would care. Don't die
Shamanish ._. I was just trying to give my interpretation of the song's theme. Don't worry, I'm not close to that low yet ^u^
I have always loved this song and didn’t really thought too deep about the lyrics in the past but now I find myself coming here in a desperate way to feel understood and protected because I feel like I’m reaching the lowest point in my life. And thankfully it helped a bit.
Hope you're doing okay right now
This song really set off my anxiety... Holy shit. ;-;
***** Escuse you? Have some fucking respect and don't tell somebody to go and "die". For fucks sake...
+Trashymatsu triggered
+Aero Bite me.
+Trashymatsu love u
+Aero Holy fuck, you kinky bitch... Hmm~
everytime i think i'm over with my depressing vocaloid phase, nah i'm still like that
P-please...somebody give me a hug... I feel so broken... T.T
Aww...I will (hugs)
Owww thank y-you... TwT (give back the hug)
not trying to be mean...but you can't hug someone through the internet, it's not how it works...
+scarlet flame yes it is...
yeah no,
To everyone posting about their depressive thoughts;
AAAAAHHHHHHHH JUST LET ME LOOVVEEE YOUUUUUUU~ ;A; *huggles you all*
:)
Huggles for everyone!!!
*is still crying but is trying to stop*
This is four years old but I appreciate it even if you don’t mean it anymore
Bro that's how I feel
I genuinely didn’t think I’d make it past tenth grade, yet here I am, about to enter my third year in uni. My birthday’s in five days and I should be excited, but for some reason, I find myself reminiscing over my darkest years.
This song always accompanied me whenever I was suicidal, and I found solace in the fact that I wasn’t alone in feeling that way. Listening to this song now brings me a strange sense of melancholy and nostalgia. Odd, isn’t it?
The Angels are praying for you.
The Day the will stop is the Day you will not recovery the next morning anymore.
Keep going
@@RaiiiL Thank you for the reminder, kind stranger! Have a nice day 😊
INAPPROPRIATE USE OF COMIC SANS
+KuiProductions :) never
+KuiProductions You're gonna have a bad time
Sorry i'm undertale trash
Rebekah Nelson same tho
+Rebekah Nelson Same! WAIT!!!! WHAT IF IT WAS ACTUALLY SANS WHO HACKED IT AND PUT THE COMIC SANS THERE!!!
Otaku-kun o-o
Sans u lil hacker
It sucks that a cover is more famous than an original
what do you mean?
@@Batorch1d this is the original, but a cover by JubyPhonic is far more popular and credited as an original.
I was actually surprised when I found the original, which was today! I was just listening to a compilation of vocaloid songs and heard a bit of this and instantly recognized it sounding like Jubys cover.
Glad I could find the original song!
Kimi no youna hito ni naritaina
Bokurashii hito ni naritaina
Nozomu nara sousurya iikedo sa
Demo sorette honto ni boku nanokai
Kodomo damashina yume hitotsu
Konna boku nara shineba iinoni
Konna boku ga ikiteru dake de
Nanmannin no hito ga kanashinde
Daremo boku wo nozomanai
Sonna sekai dattara iinoni na
Konna boku ga kiechau dakede
Nanokunin no hito ga yorokonde
Daremo nani mo nikumanai nara
Sonna ureshii koto wa nai na
Ashita mo boku wa yume utsutsu
Kono mama boku wa kiete iinoni
Konna boku ga ikita tokorode
Nanokunin no hito wa shiranaishi
Dare mo boku wo nozomanai
Sonna sekai dattara ii no kana
Konna boku ga kieta tokorode
Nanokunin no hito wa kawaranai
Dare mo boku wo nikumanainara
Sonshita koto nikawaranaina
Saigo nanka minna onaji you ni
Taorete yukimasu
MADE IN tannin no
Jibun jishin kuzurete yukimasu
Saigo nanka minna onaji you ni
Hanareteku no ni
Konna boku ga ikiteru dake de
Nande kimi wa sonna ni warau no
Kimi ga sonna egao ja
Kanashikutemo kietakutemo
Sayonara suru riyuu nante mou
Nakereba iinoni
Konna boku ga kieta tokorode
Nanokunin no hito wa kawaranai
Dakedo boku wo tomeru nani ka ga
Sonna kaoshicha waraenaiya
Thanks for the lyrics derptsune miku
Aqealise Aquamarine happy to provide 😊
I've been listening to this song for a while now. It's one of my favorites, honestly. It's a song that I can relate to so well, but at the same time, I hate to relate to it. Because not only does it make me an attention seeker, it also makes me stupid. And apparently people who go through depression, social anxiety disorders, etc. are dumb and attention whores. Yeah, society. Just keep on feeding the fire. Look. To all of you people out there who think that people who post things on social media about how they're depressed or that they're gonna commit suicide or anything like that, get your head out of your backside and look at what they really need. Help. They need someone to support them, they're looking for someone to help them. Even if they did want attention, so what? It's not like it's gonna hurt you and make you feel like shit afterwards. It's not like you're one of their closest enemies who wants to make everything that they do sound wrong. So why don't you all just STOP for a second and actually think about what you're gonna say before you say it. You never know what you might do to a person.
Oh, and also, about the "autistic" comments. Stop. It's not cute. It's not funny. It's not offensive anymore. It's just rude and annoying. I happen to be autistic, and I'm raising a stink about this. Yeah, yeah, I'm autistic. I'm "mentally challenged" and "don't know how to function in society". Dude. That's messed up. To ask someone if they're autistic out of sarcasm, or make a sarcastic comment on something, is incredibly inconsiderate. Do you like, realize how that makes autistic people feel? Like shit. Yeah, so what if they don't have emotions? So what if they're sociopaths? That doesn't make it okay. In fact, it could make it worse.
Honestly, what I'm saying is that you people need to just stop and think about what you're gonna do before you do it. I've learned from that more than I realize. Seriously. And I bet some of you are gonna be thinking, "oh i bet ur mommy typed this up for u" or something like that. By the way, grammar. Use it. Either that or go back to kindergarten and learn the difference between the letter "U" and "you".
Hi uh just wanted to say that your comment made me really happy.....I'm a former self harmer and I've been reading a lot of hate comments that started making me feel bad about myself(even more so than before and for different reasons) so idk this comment just made me really happy....sorry for the annoyance
Silver Rose I'm glad that you found happiness in this comment. That's what I was aiming for anyways; to make someone happy. I'm glad that could be you. And you're not annoying, the comment was actually really nice. ^^
Brandin Nute I see. Thank you
Brandin Nute I agree with most of what you said but you also gotta remember, you can only help so much. If they won't help themselves, then the help is no good and many sick (sick as bad as a person) people out there do use their ailments as excuses for attention. Hence why so many people think that way about people with autism or mental issues. I know how it is as I'm autistic myself but it's as I said, they also should be willingly to help themselves. I knew someone that had many mental issues and everyone tried helping her, but she kept wanting throw pity parties and everyone hold her hand instead of accepting the help by trying to help herself.
She just wanted people to hold her hand and she wouldn't do anything to herself, so she ended up homeless because she kept crying wolf instead of accepting the help she received and do something with it. In order for help to be received that person wanting help must accept it by also helping themselves and there's many that don't do that. There are many who use their ailments as something to throw pity parties so you can't blame just the people pointing fingers. There is a reason why so many people think that way about mental and special needs people.
CK Gaming Agree. I mean I do get depression is real and such and not saying teenagers don't go through suicidal thoughts and kill themselves, but most cases with teenagers, I do realize teens do have mental issues. I have Autism. I had to deal with it as a kid, but for the most part the "drama" teenagers do is just well drama. Anyone who was a teenager or who is a teenager, kinda should know as teens, teens are drama queens. Teenagers have more drama than a soap opera sometimes and can be just as corny. And teens tend to do stupid things and lamenting their personal story on the internet is one of them...I mean teens do have mental issues but sometimes you kinda got to realize when it's a mental issue and when it's a teenager just being overly dramatic and that's sorta why teenagers aren't really sympathized that much, because even when it's not a mental or big deal, lot of teenagers make a big deal about stuff. I know I did as a teenager. We all did at some point, whether it was a rare thing or not, at some point we overreacted as a teen or kid or an adult that hasn't reached full mental capacity that maybe shouldn't be on places like youtube to begin with.
And as you Ck, said, it's not good idea to laminate a personal story online. Lot of jackasses are just gonna go "Look! Easy target". It's how the internet works. It's not an excuse, it's just more of the reality and if someone is going through mental hell, they need to get off the internet cause no one is gonna help them, even those trying to help isn't gonna help and get some professional help.
i love that we all come together here to actually embrace this feeling. hope u all r still alive and on the path of happiness !
I remember listening to this song on constant repeat crap still hasn't gotten better even tho I'm 18 now in 2021
Used to listen to this song in 6th grade. Funny. Everything seemed suffocating and i didnt wanna do the shit anymore. My friends were toxic and supportive of my thoughts. I attempted multiple times. Its so weird. I thought id never leave that space. Guess what.
I made it.
I'm so happy. Im not neat them anymore. I fucking made it.
So yeah. I understand if you reading this feel like this. Too tired to do anythign and it seems like this is the only escape. It isnt. I swear. You got this. You always have! I beleive in you!
To everyone here in the comments struggling with self hatred and self harm and not wanting to be alive anymore, I'm sorry. I was in the same position as you for so long and I wish just saying "it gets better" would help, but I know it won't. But I promise you this is not all there is to life. You do have the capacity to love yourself and be happy just as much as you have the capacity to be sad. After spending so long feeling bad, being in pain and hating yourself are easy and comfortable. At some point though, you'll realize how little sense your thoughts make. As long as you can acknowledge that you have a problem, you're already on your way to fixing it. So to those who are already on their way, stay strong and I know you can get through it. The battle never ends but it does get easier, and relapse is only a step back, not a restart. To those who haven't started healing yet, you will make it there one day and realize that you really are an incredible person. Don't feel bad if you're not there yet because everyone's ready to heal at different points. To anyone reading this, I love you and I know you have the strength to live one more day, stay clean one more day, or take one more breath.
I can relate to this. There are some times where I feel like this and don't believe that anyone needs me and just cause trouble. Days go by when I think about just disappearing without a trace and how everyone would be better off without..... I watch this video a lot when I feel depressed.
And I'm back here yet again hello past self feeling down like me again huh?
Slap yourself and think " there are people who love me, and they would be sad if anything ever happened to me" then smile and be cheerful, that's what I do when I get super sad
Plus, how would the world be better off without you, wouldn't it just stay the same.( I wonder if I am just making you feel worse) and nobody can get in the way all the time, everyone's good for something, even if that something is something as simple as helping around the house.
I dont think there is anyone in the world where it would really matter if they just vanished tho tbh so its not something to feel sad about since it applies to everyone, apart from in emotional attachments non of us are actually necessary as individuals
I relate so much to so many comments that I started to cry xD
This actually made me feel better xD
Sharing what you feel here is good. for you and for other people like me.
I don't really like to share my problems, but reading comments of people who feel like me, its makes me feel better.
I want to say thank you for the people who write those comments. You didn't only made probably yourself feel better, but you made me feel better too :) Thank you so much!
god dammit i'm crying. I always think that no one would care if i died, and that people would be happy to have me off of their backs. I was miserable. But then I found a friend, one that i care for immensely. Now, whenever I think those thoughts, and i feel like ending it, i always see her in my head. I could never leave her. I don't want to die, I want to live with her, to laugh and cry. sorry for putting one of these comments, i just love this song so much. good bye~
#IFeelYouBro.
~
also, #OOT but, Damara :D
assumptions(you try to idealize what people think about you) can make your self-esteem decrease and sculpt a plan because everybody truly hate you....so you decide to make yourself vanish....in order to make everybody happy."Truly I don't want to die but for the sake of everyone"kind of thinking which makes people commit suicide..It takes a friend to recover your wounded heart.....but if it's too late......you'll see how many mourn on your death and you wish you were reborn.....I'M SORRY GUYS I HAD TO POST A STUPID COMMENT LIKE THIS BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS......................
Kouta Tsuchiya
it's alright man, that was beautiful T^T *hugs you through the internet*
Kouta Tsuchiya DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS? HELL NO I'M YOUR FRIEND NOW. COME HERE AND GIMME HUG DX *Virtual hug*
Hey, I love you all. I've never met any of you - or maybe I've seen you, we have no way of telling xD - But I love all of you!
Hey you. Yeah you. Stop scrolling and let me give you a hug!
This song makes me cry because i use to and still can relate to it in a way. it's something you won't understand unless you've been through it, all you people posting on here like "cutting is stupid" and "you're just trying to get attention if you do this stuff" because it's NOT always true. Don't let a few seeds ruin the fruit.
Cutting is stupid. It is true. Don't do "stupid things" pressuring on to your body. Please.
Reading all these comments about how everyone feels the same, and I'm like I belong here too. Vocaloid collects us broken ones, and heals some parts of us.
i happened on this from my recommendations on UA-cam while i was listening to Baloney Speaker and i have no idea if i should be sad or glad that i found this song. Because it's so catchy but at the same time when i read the lyrics i can't help but relate and it makes me feel like a mess. It's a genuinely nice song though, even if it makes me sad.
On a real note guys, despite all the edgy weeb jokes people make, I've always related to this song and listened to it since middle school. I've been self harming for over 7 years and have recently been able to stop after high school. If any of you are young and struggling, please please please talk to someone and have a shoulder to cry on. Don't waste years cutting and struggling alone. We all have different experiences and lifestyles, but what remains the same is the pain behind everyone no matter how young or old. I'm turning 19 soon, and I wish I would have stopped cutting sooner for my health and the people around me. I promise someone cares, and I wish you all the best in your battles, please don't hesitate to talk about your experiences or vent. Wishing you all love
i’m sorry, are you okay
How to cope with heartbreak?
If i could solve that one problem im gonna be the happiest person ever existed
After 10+ years, this song is still 🔛🔝
I just really adore this song. It's relaxing and the lyrics speak to me in such a way...
think about it,, if you were starting to feel suicidal even more and turning really sad and stressed due to it, listening to this song feels like this were OUR real feelings and thoughts if we died, but we know if we died we would either go to hell and make everyone upset, but we still think (mostly when we're so down nearly doing it) its not that big deal until someone basically comforts you, even if you wanted to die you just have this one feeling where you shouldn't, you wanted to do it but you're also scared.
"it wouldn't affect millions of people" is true but it might affect some of our friends instead and our friends might affect their other friends and it keep going.
this song is so comforting and sad yet relatable.
Tru😓
I don't want to die.
I just don't have a reason to live.
I don't want to live.
I just don't have a reason to die.
I don't want to be me,
but why should anyone else have to?
I don't want to be here,
but what audacity do I have to complain?
I love this song because it reminds me of how I feel about myself
I feel like this song is about a popular girl, maybe even an idol, who wants to die but it would make many people sad. She wishes nobody cared so it would be easier for her to die. Sometimes I wonder if Robin Williams felt this way...
Rikkachi This is an interesting perspective
o my god, that voice. so cute, so beautiful.
I used to listen to this song a lot back when I used to have depressing thoughts due to my unhealthy coping methods and my family problems constantly piling on top of one another. I'm glad that I never did anything too reckless and I'm doing much better now. I just wanted to come back and remind you guys, especially the ones who had to go through what I did, that everything will get better in the end. Slowly but surely. Ending your life isn't gonna solve anything. It may end your suffering but, did you really want to end your life? You're just not looking for help in the right places. I wish everyone luck and I hope you'll have a great day.
That almost made me cry... I feel so sad thinking that there are so many people in the world thinking like that 😔
oh we back on the mental breakdown side of vocaloid youtube tonight boys!!!!!
Wrist Cutter is also a nice song to listen to when you want to end it all.
I hate seeing comments about how depressed people are, not because I think that they're attention hogs, but because all the sadness pulls me down and I feel like crying. Everyone who is going through a rough time, remember: there are people who love you, so smile and pretend that the world is made of cupcakes and rainbows, even if it's not. When I get sad, I always imagine my perfect world, and then I smile and laugh, and make my problems go away.( unless it involves homework, that just stresses me out) so smile and think " I am happy, and I will smile". I hope I made you feel at least a tiny bit better, I've never been very good at speeches. :)
But this speech is quite good!
Empathy?
Actually this song tells about this feeling when you know that there are people actually caring about you and by living youre a burden to them and by killing yourself youre still hurting them as hell
I watched this video when I was 10, I didn’t even understand the lyrics yet relate to them. I’m 20 now and this song popped up for me again and words can’t describe how much listening to this hurts
I remember listening to this a long time ago, when I was in a pretty bad situation. Well, now I try not to self harm but I wouldn't say I got better. This song is really good and shows the emotion well!
y so many vocaloid self harm songs ;-;
+Meredith Ross I think it's because Japanese teenagers(and many teenagers out there) relate to these songs the most. Japan and South Korea have one of the highest suicidal rates in the world, due to stress from school, work, etc. This makes the teenagers think again and again, these songs are the "voices" in their hearts. And of course, Vocaloids are from Japan, so there's a connection. Of course, there are movements to drop suicide rates, and these songs are just voices for these teens/adults if they ever feel depressed and have no confidence to speak out. This is just my opinion but a better understanding would be going to Eatyourkimchi's video about suicide, it may be from Korea but it gives you an idea regarding suicides, since Korea and Japan are similar regarding these issues.
Erin Malinay fair enough. it makes sense
+Erin Malinay And why are they so depressed - could it be, the more one can see the future as in what is to come for them, the more depressing it may look. For an example seeing yourself only as a servant to society... also understanding that most people won't become leading figures in their respective fields and therefore the significance of ones work may look tiny.
Sorry for the depressing comment, my point is to try to find interesting stuff to do and give your daily life some variety.
+Meredith Ross Well vocaloid is a software and it's the same as singing a song but a song is a way to express they feelings and like Erin said japan is one the country that haves the highest suicidal rates and most of the people that listen to vocaloid are Otaku (a BIG fan of anime) and otakus are not well seen in the japanese society because everyone think that when you're addicted to something it's bad or because of lolicon, otakus have a big pressure that leads to the thought of diying so vocaloid is a way to help the teenager that are lost, bulliyed, in love and a lot of other reason
So song writers can express their pain without being forced into therapy, being ridiculed by the public, and spread awareness for these kinds of problems anonymously.
This helps calm me down.
Kariimarii I love your pfp
Happiness heals the heart. Luaghter is the best medicence. A hug goes a thousound miles. A smile lights up the world. I know this video is sad but im just going to comment happy thing to cheer us all up.
Shadow _Mist :)
This song is so relatable to me
But at the same time I tell myself I'm not actually sad/depressed because I'm young
And adults tell me that to
And it hurts cause I feel like my feeling don't matter like I feel like this for "attention"
When I was in elementary school lots of people manipulated me and made me feel bad about myself
This one girl (let's call her Jess cuz I can't say her real name)
Jess when no one was around tell me that I was over weight or ugly and call me annoying then the next second she would act like my best friend
She also told me that I was a lesbian and I didn't understand exactly what that ment (I don't hate LGBTQ btw I'm kinda confused what I am rn..)
Jess would control my life completely and put me in situations were she knew I was uncomfortable
She left the school in 5th grade
So I was able to hang out my friend Gabi who was actually a really good friend!
But also on top of all that at home my parents always had party's and everyone would always get drunk and that has been going on for as long as I can remember
This made me hate alcohol and hate people who drank it my parents also vape and they know I dislike it so they blow it in my face on purpose
My parents would always fight to yelling so much
My dad would get so mad he would punch holes in the walls or break stuff
A few times he gets so mad my mom to took me and my lil brother to my grandmas house and we stayed there for the night
When my mom gets drunk she makes me feel bad about myself and she calls me ugly not directly but she does like some time in 2020 there was a party and she told me to put on my mask so people don't have to see my face
Also around 6th grade my cousin (who lives far away from me) always spook over text and call
She was the only person who was there for me
Until she put me in a group chat with people who were her "friends" They always said stuff like "your so worthless just go kys"
And it was my first time seeing people be this mean
They said worse things to but I don't know what cuz they had there own chat
My cousin never told anyone that could help so it hurt cause I felt like I was useless and couldn't help
I knew I shouldnt feel bad cause they were nice to me not my cousin they told me they would stop I tried making the stop but they never did
My cousin was convinced into doing things like self harm and once her mom found out her mom didn't really care
My cousin tried to over dose with some sort of pills idk
But I always felt like it was my fault I couldn't protect her
The chat is now not toxic anymore she got better friends
But now I feel like we are not as connected as we were we would talk for hours but now we like different things and I feel like I don't fit in with her any more
My friend Gabi who was the good friend I feel like she is getting bored of me
She is nice really but sometimes she will say " Turns off messages notifications"
In text and I know that's not "really mean" But it makes me feel like I annoy her and I don't want to but I guess it can't be helped.
After all this I just feel so numb
I feel sad but most if the time I feel like I just don't care anymore
That I don't care about myself or anyone
Except for like 3-4 people
I just wanna disappear I don't want people to care about me so I can just leave.
There's so much I left out but I mean how much can I type?
Bye
I just hope who ever read this that you know that it's okay to feel the way and I hope so much that it gets better for you! 💖
hey, i know i can't do anything about your situation except share a few words, but i really hope you're doing okay right now. you managed to get up and push through today, so i'm happy about that. you don't deserve anything that those people told you, okay?
@@mars3122 om your so kind thank you 💖
I hope anything you might be going through gets better or if your at your happiest just wanna say good job cause life is hard :)
I am ok being curled up in the corner
And being unnoticed or anonymous.
*BYE*
Reading this really touched me, how are you doing?
@@VeryGoodDad
I'm doing good bestie
I mean I have other problems now some going off the same people
Stressed with hw and stuff how about you?
*TRIGGER WARNING* i don't get emotional, for some reason i just don't but this, this song hits me right in the gut it just is so sad and yet SOO comforting cause i can relate more than i should. i have no idea how but it almost feels like this song was meant for me, i began SH 3 or 4 months ago and ever since an encounter i had with my dad i just felt like a useless child like that other song i relate to :)
i HATE admitting this is anyone but i lowkey feel safe here so here goes, i have tried to kms at least 14 times but never went to the hospital cause i never got TOO hurt i just got minor bruises that i could easily cover up, i would fall out of windows that weren't too high and hold my breath as long as possible whenever i went swimming.sometimes i would hurt myself when i was younger but i didn't cut like i do now, and i broke my own ankle on purpose once in 4th grade but told people it was an accident .
this song really motivated me to share this information that i never have so i hope no one will judge me and if you do then ok idk.
Please keep fighting your battle! I used to SH for 9 years and never thought it would get better, but now I am in a much better place. Please try to find someone to talk to and come up with good coping mechanisms (like listening to this song) as hurting yourself is never, ever, EVER worth it. I care about you, don't give up.
I hope youre doing alright ❤
So I revisit this place after getting through some extremely crappy phase (Note my comment from 6 months ago)
Haah, I'm so happy that I'm out of that stupid situation
Congrats ^m^
La La Land Thank
This is one of the few Vocaloid songs I could relate to, I don't live in the best environment with my mom being emotionally abusive and holding me hostage to almost all my decisions, I have to go to her for permission and she sets up ridiculous high standards that I have to reach. There has been moments where my anxiety and depression is so high I really want to disappear or just have a different life all together. I don't have real life friends to go to for a temporary shelter, but I have online friends, but I still have awful thoughts of just evaporating from life. I just hope this cycle stops some day. I feel emotionally drained almost every single day.
aaaa, this song makes me cry
+1 ... me 2...
i feel lucky to be dating the person that stops me from ending it all
Simply listening to the song: * no emotion *
Looking through the comments to see people with the same thoughts as I: * sobbing hysterically *
Omg, I was looking for this song for HOURS! I knew the word "color" was in the song name, but I was otherwise clueless. And different results were coming up, so I legit searched "sad vocaloid songs" STRESSFUL
I’ve only self harmed by scratching myself and hitting myself, but I don’t have thoughts about killing myself and I never cut myself with sharp objects **hugs all of the depressed people in the comments and in the world**
tbh, I don't really like this song, but it used to be relatable to me.
I was lonely, my stuffed animal was my closest friend, and I had severe anxiety every day. I just wanted to cry, but I told myself that the anxiety was dumb. I had everything I wanted. parents that cared, friends that were loyal, but there was a lump in my throat every day. I dismissed it, saying it was just me being ungrateful. I had toxic teachers that shamed me in front of the whole class. with that, I was also traumatized by the amount of depressing stuff that I saw. the anxiety melted away, but it was too late. it turned into a greater lump...depression. then, my best friend unexpectedly died. that worsened everything. after I got over that, I found out one of my friends made an attempt, and I told the counselors to protect them. then, my friend's friend got defensive and started attacking me, sending me threats and even brought weapons to school. we made up, but I still don't trust her. after that, the district made a new school, and transferred half the school to the new school. I lost 15 of my 23 friends at school.
finally, with therapy, treatment, support and amazing people, and being persistent, I got over it.
I made it.
I'm fine now, happier than ever. I have a great support system, many friends, and I'm happy, and I understand healing.
sorry for venting, thats it lol
At the same time this makes me sad and cry i get happy in the end what a strange and beautiful sooong
I keep coming back to this song
I can't describe how much I love this song, despite being so sad
This song is so pretty for the material used in it but it works well. I just love to listen to it and think about life before my day starts
This is 2021...i played this song in project sekai.Woah i didn't know this song is super old
whats project sekai?
@@Tommyjoe577 a mobile game
Man this song reminds me of my childhood-
i relate to this song and im worried about myself
I feel like I'm twelve again in the embrace of my bed ctying my eyes out without making a sound
Maybe if i found the Spanish sub i will find you
Kimi no you na hito ni naritai na
"Boku rashii hito" ni naritai na
Nozomu nara sou surya ii kedo sa
Demo sore tte honto ni boku na no kai
Kodomodamashi na yume hitotsu
Kon'na boku nara shineba ii no ni
Kon'na boku ga ikite'ru dake de
Nanman'nin no hito ga kanashinde
Daremo boku wo nozomanai
Son'na sekai dattara ii noni na
Kon'na boku ga kiechau dake de
Nan'okunin no hito ga yorokonde
Daremo nani mo nikumanai nara
Son'na ureshii koto wa nai na
Ashita mo boku wa yume utsutsu
Kono mama boku wa kiete ii noni
Kon'na boku ga ikita tokoro de
Nan'okunin no hito wa shiranai shi
Dare mo boku wo nozomanai
Son'na sekai dattara ii no ka na
Kon'na boku ga kieta tokoro de
Nan'okunin no hito wa kawaranai
Dare mo boku wo nikumanai nara
Son shita koto ni kawarinai na
Saigo nanka min'na onaji you ni taorete yukimasu
MEIDO IN tanin no "jibun jishin" kuzurete yukimasu
Saigo nanka min'na onaji you ni hanarete'ku noni
Kon'na boku ga ikite'ru dake de
Nande kimi wa son'na ni warau no
Kimi ga son'na egao ja
Kanashikute mo kietakute mo
Sayonara suru riyuu nante mou
Nakereba ii noni
Kon'na boku ga kieta tokoro de
Nan'okunin no hito wa kawaranai
Dakedo boku wo tomeru nanika ga
Son'na kao shicha waraenai ya
As an artist, this song really reminds me of how I feel about my art. So many people insult it or think it's ugly or ignore me. I can't go a single day without feeling awful, that it would be better if I stopped creating and disappeared. I wish I could, but even though there is a large chunk of people that detest my art, there are some that are still nice to me and (presumably) appreciate me. This song isn't just about depression or self-hatred, but about the complexities of knowing that even in all the darkness and hatred in this world, there are still people that care about you. It's so hard to accept
If any one here needs someone to talk to I'm here, message me. Just don't hurt yourself any longer, suicide is not the answer. Everyone has inside them a piece of good news, a piece of hope. You don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is.
Hope ur words reach someone out there!
ShineLB Old Channel I swear, I legit cried while reading this comment, because everyone in my school literally Said I should go die, and all my friends left me, I had completely lost hope, as it all happened recently, and I thought that no one would ever be nice again to me, And I know this was to a large general audience, it felt like it was directed towards Me. Thank you so much.
Wow, this song is just mindblowing. Thanks so much for subbing!
After another year, I'm in the comment section again. Now my reason to listen to this song is to actually feel sad. When you repress your feelings for a long time you eventually feel worse than you did in the first place or end up feeling an 'empty' type of sadness and fear.
i dont cut myself but i hated myself,im ugly and all those crap but my friends who cared about me stops me becos i shine a bright smile to them but a part of me just wants to be turn into gray and if people didnt care for me its easier for self harm
+Forlorn Ghost it affected my closest friends and i would be happy if i "purposely" killed myself, My enemies are happy about it but most of my friends care about me too much so there scared if i cut myself and even when i said " dont worry" but they still worry about me, life is stressful and the world is cruel and ik that, and my real name is Jasmine
+Forlorn Ghost well they care and it sometimes gets annoying when like i carry a scissor and they think the wrong way, Well i appreciate theyre help too, But whenever i get depressed and whatever i say crap about myself they get mad and hurts them too but im saying it too myself.
+Forlorn Ghost thx for helping me,
+Yami Charm... your welcome... glad I could help! : ) just be safe, okay... (for me)... : )
+Forlorn Ghost since i live in a place that has a drink which is green tea and it has my name. People would go immature and call me names.-. Its norma for me really, I went far on life and im still living Becos people stop me from harm which kinda the reason why i never got to cut myself but i find other ways But for people and for ur sake too ill not do it, I appreciate Ur tips and Thx for liking my name, For me its plain anyways especially my first name sofia is plain (jasmine is a nickname but ive been called that for my whole life so.ya)
I cried bc there is so much good ppl who supporting each other meanwhile they dont know each other in rl. Thankyou for making me stay by reading your supporting comment.
I, who isn’t me, I, who nobody cares about anymore, I, who wishes to disappear.
Is the same with the me who was built from what others wanted, making me more hollow than I ever was.
So even if I died, it would be just the death of the flesh. I am already rotting.
Liking VOCALOID is kind of a red flag in a mental health kind of way. If you know, you know
this song is so relatable
Y’all remember that harming and killing yourself doesn’t fix anything it just spreads your sadness
If you’re feeling like you want to do that then please find help in a mental health professional, if you talk them enough they can diagnose what’s causing your sadness and will do anything they can to help you
Also if you were to talk to a person who has failed an attempt at dying they’ll most likely tell you that it isn’t the way to go same for if you were to talk to the dead
This is for anyone who feels bad I just want you to know it gets better if you make it better, so when your brain tells you to be sad respond with fricc you
Oh fuck here come the tears (sorry for the language but this affects me a lot) also where the hell are the thumbs up thumbs down and reply buttons for comments?!
This song helps me write sad poetry and get inspiration for sad artwork. Also helps me imagine character death. Yeah this is a niceeeeeee song. I wrote a poem based on this actually. Go on deviantART and search the name of the song and there's my poem voila. ~bows~ goodbye
Good job abt the poetry this is really an inspiring song to reach deep into the heart.....if u can include that into ur poetry than good job sir!
Im actually depressed from certain scarring events I've went through, and this kind of helps. Im glad I clicked on the video and watched.
The intro alone
Such nostalgia
Self Harm Colorless is a good song that teach us how depressed people see in their point of view about living. The good point is we understand how depressed people feel in this song :T
I believe it is about wishing you were unwanted and unnecessary, so you could commit suicide without hurting anyone, or maybe even making others happier. The act of suicide holds a lot of guilt when you know how it'll affect others (the song speaks about how in their 'final hour others will crumble' and will be 'separated the same way'), so she repeatedly speaks of how no one wants her, then says "If only it were that kind of a world".
.... I'm sorry. I cannot protect you. I cannot cure illness with my words. In short. I cannot save you. But one day, I will meet you, and if you did, I will be the savior for you.
I love that this song is so happy and cute sounding, but the lyrics are actually really sad.
I'm glad that I found this song, I suffered from bullying in school and it caused me to harm myself, I thought nobody else felt that way but I'm not alone
I've loved this song since the first time I've heard it.
I still feel the same way,but,right now I have a little bit of hope cause i'm treating my depression,anxiety,eds and others so I'm in a better place,and I hope everything will be okay soon,for me and for all of you who are feeling the same way.
The comments made me cry people are so nice what the
I teared so much, Miku's voice is so beautiful along with this song