The Core Belief can more accurately be a: *Fear Idea* that emerged through a negative experience or series of negative experiences and they may be chapter or "at that time" situational, and we carry them while retreating from situations where we feel we may be threatened to deal with them as a reality, thus the pick up fear weight. It not what hat transpired but what you *think* may transpire. Another reason *we need to truly understand the concept of the "Law of Attraction" and take charge of our Thoughts,* use Conscious Application of Thoughts, and reach for the Higher Minded position rather than the Ego Mind reacting and judging self and others. (Bam!) Now, that's a good point relivant scenario statement. 😉
...and " being a failure" has got to be the #1 Core Belief. Fear - the method by which all can be manipulated and controlled. How this begs for knowledge of the "Universal Law of Attraction" *Thoughts Create Reality* Period! An absolute reality. And everybody going the hard way around the world when all they need to do is learn this law and Master their thoughts.
that i was a loser and that i would not be able to take care of myself and hence a family. Its funny because I used that ladder technique it was amazing. It was like the ishikawa fish diagram for my thinking. I went down the ladder its like finding the root. then i ask if im a loser is true what does that mean? and i couldn't answers directly? I thought Ive spent so much time trying not to be a "loser." but then i ask what is a loser? what does that mean? so then i was like wait ive been running from something undefined so i decided to redefine it how i wanted and said a loser is someone who does whatever the want and is a free spirit. as soon as i said that my whole emotional demeanor, that tightness in my chest was gone and i saw the day brighten like there was a purpose there was hope. there was a future. thank you i am going to practice these technique. please help more about them . thank you.
This is not a therapist I would ever want treating me. She has a lot of insecurities and not comfortable with who she is. In fact she doesn’t even know who she is. She will never attract the right man. Plus she is anorexic. There’s a lot more but I’ll stop here.
I'm with you, because sometimes I doubt myself like how am I suppose to have a session professionally when I don't know what its like at all. Not much channels post about this.
And I actually feel the opposite , and it makes me angry. How a person who has never felt something can even try to play a role. Unless all his lines are from a real case, the whole video makes no sense to me
@@VaskaElGato Do you personally know this man? Do you know its BS and he has never felt something? No? Then shut up. Maybe go get therapy for being vile.
I have the same core belief of feeling unloved and unworthy. Today, I will take the steps to transform my mind from negative thoughts to more positive ones.
I kept my mouth shut in my very first CBT session 😂. As a stubborn teenager I didn't want to express my feelings in front of a stranger even she's my psychologist. My psychologist became friendly, loving, kind and understandable, So as I was comfortable, I started revealing everything to her in my 3rd session. I just want to say my psychologist thank you for being patient with me and having my back each and every time. She's such a good & truthful friend of mine today.
It's perfectly normal. As counselors we also have therapy sessions with classmates throughout graduate school. It is not easy in that first session, because you feel exposed. You are not the only one.
you were lucky. Where I live they're busy, so even after the expensive payment (because gov. ones are way more busy) they just ask couple questions and say: "hımm you need more meds", "you need to masturbate more" or "you need to get a gf". Then post you out the door Turns out gov. mandated ones were still better then private ones. Even though they don't have time, they still care
Being a teenager is extremely hard, and opening up to anyone is extremely difficult when you’ve gone from one abusive parent’s house to the other. Only in writing this message do I feel like I’m beginning to understand where the suicidal thoughts come from. At 14, I absconded with my dad’s car and drove across the country searching for my sanctuary - rather than commit suicide. I ran into trouble after two weeks on the run. Then I had to go back to the hell holes. I guess my survival strategy from that point forward was to shut down.
omg yess. I had a zoom counseling session and I cried through the whole thing. the worst thing is that it was just audio so I didn't see my therapist so I imagined her waiting for me to finish my whale cry like 🙂
COCK AND BALL TORTURE From Wikipedia the free encyclopedia at en.wikipedia..org/wiki/Cock_and_ball_torture Cock and ball torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving the application of pain or construction of the male genitals this may involve directly painful activity’s such as wax play , genital spanking , ball busting , erotic electro stimulation and even kicking The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism or the knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sidistic dominant electrostimulation applied on a penis Contents Section 1 in pornography Section 2 ball stretcher Section 3 parachute Section 4 humbler Section 5 testicle cuff SECTION 1 In pornography In addition to its occasional role is BDSM pornography Tomakeri (lit. Ball kicking) is a separate genre in japan One notable actresses in tamakeri is Erika Nagai Who uses her martial arts skills to kick men in the testicles SECTION 2 Ball stretcher A ball stretcher is a sex toy that is fastened around a man in order to elongate the scrotum and provide a feeling of weight pulling the testicles away from the body
I love how his entire demeanor shifted as he started getting deeper into his core belief. His body language closed up; folded arms and legs. Great work!
I’ve just discovered this thanks to this UA-cam channel. I’m a single parent who cannot afford therapy, and I have noticed behavioral patterns in my daughter that I exhibited as a child so now I’m obsessively researching how to heal so I don’t create another miserable “me”. Thank you!!!
You’re going to do a good job don’t worry. This isn’t hard work, only to cluster b idiots. You’re just basically revisiting yourself, revisioning yourself , and resetting yourself.
You are so brave in writing about what worries you. I developed depression from age 9 and also anxiety partly because of the Autism I was born with. I found out years later I'd been ill with depression and was so devastated it took me several months to actually tell my family about it. Then several years later I suspected Autism and then got diagnosed with it 3 years later, as the waiting list was very long. It took me about 4 years to get to understand myself after the ASD diagnosis. But I feel better now. I'm not really the person I used to be because I'm no longer suffering with the awful confusion and brain fog etc that being unaware of the ASD and depression caused me, and those nasty people who like to bully and take advantage (who were attracted to my vulnerability) have actually vanished. I rarely sink and become more vulnerable now and am able to tell people "keep your distance from me" and "watch your manners towards me", and I could never confront people many years ago. It's an astonishing difference now compared to 20 years ago. It helped me to do some research on the unconscious mind and how it behaves. If you've had any particularly bad experiences you could attempt to do CBT on your own - it's creating a script of the entire event from minutes before it happened to minutes after it finishes, and you talk through it in the most detailed way possible. (This is what my CBT therapist did with me, and he would interrupt me at least several times during my story-telling and ask me "what feelings are you experiencing at this point?", and he would also ask me about bright lights, noise in the background, and what I felt in my body. My CBT therapist told me that this therapy makes you face the event and think about every part of it in order for your mind to finally process it. CBT tends to be used for single traumatic events such as assault, witnessing something horrendous, bad car accidents, sexual abuse etc. Once the trauma memory has been worked through, it will likely become unstuck which is a good thing. It takes time but once "processed" in the mind that trauma memory becomes less powerful and the mind will slowly stop going over and over it.) It depends on why you need therapy but there's definitely a way to recover on your own after several horrific events I've experienced myself. There's a book called The Body Keeps the Score by a famous therapist who is from Europe. It's fantastic and I'd recommend it.
I'm a clinical psychologist. I love how she can empathize and validate her client, as well as challenge irrational thoughts with behavioral experiment. That's really good and on point.
As a guy, I think she should dress more conservatively because her skimpy outfit with so much bare skin and legs on display would be a distraction from the session for a lot of guys. But maybe she dressed that way for clicks and views on the video, which isn't unusual these days I guess. Not criticizing her looks, she's attractive. I just feel she's dressed inappropriately for the situation.
From the 3rd sentence he spoke after starting the mock session is where I thought “ohhhh it’s no longer mock, my friend” Too much emotion in his words and I don’t know if he’s that good at acting or emotional improv. If he is he needs an Oscar.
For sure. I remember learning about how simply defending and/or pretending to believe a principle, opinion, or personality you will actually start to adopt that as part of you, or at least channel a truth about yourself.
I've learned more in this 23 min video than I have in the past three years of therapy. The way CBT is described in this video is unreal. I have struggled with this concept for many years and not one therapist has explained it so well the way Dr. Judy has.
@@ecem8546 to be clear there is a lot more to CBT than this one technique. The science of addressing cognitive distortions and behavioral patterns as a way to change emotions is broad and constantly evolving and growing
Same! I feel you, I was diagnosed with ADHD when i was 8 years old and luckily, since my mom is a neuropediatrician, she was comprehensive and made me understand that I was clever and ADHD didn't mean I was less capable. It's still hard especially now that I'm entering higher studies, and I have to rely a lot on self-discipline, which is not really my strength. But just remember that you are perfectly capable! You're intelligent, you're creative, and just because you are a fish that can't climb a tree, doesn't mean you're worthless. You can do this, you've got this!
Saratc my mom is a pharmacist. All I ever got was meds and after fucking up for the last straw in my first relationship sabotaging the whole thing and the way I reacted. I said enough. No therapist she sent me too worked and she refused life coaches or relationship coaches earlier in my life. Sooooo now I put a team around me. I spent around 9000$ of my own money with relationship coaches over 6 months and my god if I only had them as a younger adult..... life would have been different
You are not useless, use your ADHD as a positive, I bet you’re never bored? You have a great imagination, you’re creative, use the talents you have and build on them. Don’t fight adhd or overthink it, it’s only a small part of you and doesn’t define everything about you. Good luck.
Brother, you are safe and never alone. Love exists and you are worthy of it. I love you, you love you (if you just let yourself feel it), and God loves you (if you're comfortable with that sort of thing---if not, sorry I brought it into this).
Thanks for speaking out. It's attractive and encouraging to see a good looking man admit that because it shows that you strive to be a strong provider and person un the support role while also having the depth of self reflection to admit your needs and fears. I'm so sorry if you were hurt before, no one deserves to have their vulnerability neglected or attacked. I hope you find opportunities to see that you can be loved and cherished and vulnerable all at once.
I watched the entire session. This is extremely helpful. One of my core beliefs is that I cant ever lean on anyone else as a safe space when I am falling apart. I always have to be the strong one that pulls up my boots straps and keeps on going.
@@sazaydehmed9819 this is reality, however, if I ever want to achieve depth in my marriage specifically, I have to learn to allow myself to lean into my husband when I'm a mess. Knowing full well that he may not be able to handle me. But that (based on my spiritual life) God has him and me ultimately. I also believe that no one else around me is as strong as I am. (Pride much?! Lol) So that ego gets in the way for me a lot.
This helps a lot. I just figured out that I was in denial that my core belief is feeling unlovable and worthless, I keep attracting people in my life that treats me low and I would always try to keep them above me even though I know I am better than them, I dont want them feeling less than me which results to me feeling less too, I know its not right but I can’t help myself doing it.
what I really loved about this video was the question “if that was true what would that mean” wow, you can dive deep into ANY kind of thought. Thank you guys !
I too watched the entire session and it had me in tears mainly because this is my core belief. You loss parts of your soul the longer this goes unchecked. Unfortunately many therapists are not as in tuned with helping you get out of therapy. I loved this because you saw the steps and now know what to expect with this type of therapy. I too think more mock therapy session will be helpful. Thank you for being here.
I saw the whole thing!!! I loved it!!! My core belief was “I’m unlovable” and “there is something wrong about me” thank God for therapy ☺️ I learned I just needed to find the right people that actually loved me for who I am and not the ones that only used me to fulfill their needs.
You can´t choose your coworkers and family members though. You can cut off the toxic family members to some degree, you can technically become homeless living in the woods to avoid bullying at workplace... but this is not the solution the most of people would go for.
Just help people; there's loads that need help, people, cat shelters, dog shelters etc you'll feel loved because you love others and care. It works believe me.😍
My current therapist and I talked about core values because I was going through a bit of an identity crisis. Knowing my core values TRULY helped ground myself in my own identity. Mine were Ethicality, Personal Growth, Open-mindedness, Intelligence, and Humility.
It's beautiful the way to explain.... Can you please continue this session with another technique u ll use with in this same context so that it's relatable n give us more understanding in this context
My core belief was "When I Marry, I am to be Married for Life" - Divorce will hurt my children. A Toxic Marriage meant I am a failure. My Psychologist challenged my belief and helped me to realise that my marriage was already over, whether I stayed or not. I also realised that I was teaching my son that it is OK for a man to emotionally abuse his wife, and there are no consequences to his actions. I had not thought of that. I am now alone & enjoying my life.
It has been a year since you commented, but I just wanted to congratulate you and let you know that your words really made me tear up. I've experienced my mother's separation from my stepfather, and it was a really difficult time for me. However, as you mentioned, teaching children that it’s okay for a man to emotionally abuse his wife should never be normalized. Kudos to you!
Well, I had an abusive dad all my life and wondered why mom never left. As I grew up I understood it was because she didn't trust her parents and didn't have any place to go. She left home at 50. I'm actually happy for her. She looks much happier and healthier since then. Divorce may seem like a negative situation, because breaking up is hard and negative I suppose. But leaving with someone you don't want and tolerating them your whole life is harder and worse of a situation. I hope you find your own path you can enjoy now that you're alone
What is wrong with her wanting "to marry and be happy for life"? Is it better to want "to marry and be abused"? And her new core belief is " I am just a 100% innocent, helpless victim of toxic masculinity." Maybe there was a good reason why you had not thought of putting all the blame on your partner at first.
Wow that was real session. When he was acting like a patient he was tense and still. And right after he changed his role as an interviewer he started to talk by using his hand too. He looked more relaxed. By the way, thank you. It really helps me a lot.
I know this may sound weird heard from a stranger but i swear your worth isnt established by your looks. My girlfriend has an ed and has been struggling a lot with body dysmorphia in the last year and it breaks my heart to see her feel bad about herself due to things that are completely normal (she thinks her belly gets too big when she eats). She's beautiful and is really really nice and kind, she's one of the best people I've ever met and its not because she looks in a certain way but because thats what she is, she's a nice person. So please, dont think your value is decided by your looks, whether you look good or not, wear cool clothes or not, have a cool attitude or not, some people will like you and some wont but they wont choose over your appearance, and if they do they're just not the right people for you. I hope this helps
I watched the whole session to try to understand CBT and other modalities better, and I feel so much clearer on CBT now. Thanks for all you do! One of my core beliefs is that I will always be poor, but just thinking through this process you two just showed us is already helping me gather evidence that challenges that. Thanks for your work here!
Core belief: I won't be cared for fully or good enough unless I do everything I can and have achieved what I set out. In other words if i'm not super productive and super accomplishing I'm not good enough and won't be respected enough. I don't let myself be super productive because I burn out and hit mental health issues but it's still in the back of my mind.
One of my core beliefs is that "I'm too much". After a lot of therapy, I learned that was what my covert narc mom used to say to me as a kid when I complained about her treatment of me. These core beliefs are often the internalized voices of our caregivers or messages we got in society.
I have returned to watch this entire session again, one year later 25 FEB 2023. I have now completed the courses to my masters of arts in counselling psyc and waiting to start practicum. This is where the theoretical training gets put into practice. MedCircle is definitely a favourite channel of mine! Feeling unworthy, not good enough, is pervasive across clients and is familiar to me, as well. This link has relevant content. Thank you.
"Constantly making sure people are happy about our interactions" - totally relate!! thank you so much for your courage and honesty. this 'mock' session hit home in many ways.
This turned into an actual session for me because those are my exact feelings and MY CORE beliefs and struggles. I am currently dealing with the ending of a long time and very deep relationship. Truly needed this
I'm a counseling student and this session blew me away. CBT has always been a favorite method of mine but I've never seen it used like this. Nevermind the fact that the patient literally spoke my own core belief. I felt like this was me being put the CBT. Loved it!
Watched the whole session. So insightful. I’ve seen around 5 therapists in my life and I’ve never had a session like this. There needs to be more therapists like Dr. Judy and Dr. Ramani!
Core belief/hidden fear: that my family doesn’t really love me. They only love me so long as I make their lives easier and do things the way they like.
Yep My Family ONLY Uses me 2 Do Work For them. I get No Pay & Am Excluded From Everything Except When Im Needed 2 Do Things. I Feel Very Hurt, USED, & UNLOVED. Im Cutting ALL TIES & Blocking Ph#’s. Im Old Enough 2 Know When I’m Being USED, & Lied 2 & Taken Advantage Of. No MORE of Them Taking My KINDNESS FOR WEAKNESS. I Am NOT WORTHLESS. I ❤️ ME👍😊
Candy Shier Dear One, I would like to suggest you tell them how you feel before you cut all ties. Their response may surprise you, and you would miss out on finding out they never wanted you to feel that way, and they really love you. This said Unless they are total Narcissists, and if they are, I want to encourage you to cut ties, at least for a while. Narcissistic people are so toxic, you may need to cut ties permanently, but check them out, if they aren’t. Either way you will have the truth come out. That’s healing to know. Bless you.
Cock and ball torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking.
One of my core beliefs is what you worked on! That I’m worthless, and I always put others first and take care of everyone around me to prove my worth. I feel people wouldn’t be around me if I didn’t do this. I’ve done a lot of work being ok if people are unhappy that I’m not fixing everything for them. I love myself even if no one else did I have my deep love for myself now.
Truly amazing. My core belief is my excuses that I use for failure. I'm finishing my psychology degree and this video really teaches newer clinicians a great example of therapy. Keep it going
I've been going to CBT for approx. 3 months, and I must say, most of the time I was talking, she was okay, but she never asked me that kind of questions like here in the mock session. I got some homework to do, like writing down negative thoughts and how did I replace them... It felt better for a time but then I got to think It was not really helping me, I'm helping myself because of all the study I do in my own time. I'm changing my therapist! Thank you so much for this, I got my belief in CBT back.
Watched the whole thing and showed the abnormal psychology classes I teach. This channel has been a godsend for teaching remotely this past school year. The doctor's knowledge and ability to explain so well to their audience has been such an inspiration to me. And Kyle is such an amazing host and interviewer. This channel has been a life-changer.
Thank you so much for this mock therapy session. Going to therapy can feel like walking into a room blindfolded. It’s difficult to know what to say to get the right kind of help, especially when there are so many things to address, and at the same time trying not to beat around the bush. I believe this type of session would have taken months even years of therapy to get to this point where these two therapists did in 20 min. So thank you.
I grew up with unloving parents and severe social anxiety disorder. I never had the benefit of a CBT Therapist and I had core beliefs about being stupid, being uncapable, and being unloved (not necessarily unlovable because I had hope). Over a period of 3 adult decades, I did my own experiments. I learned the art of "acting" so I could model the behavior of others without believing it was really "me" taking the risks. My attitude was, "It's scary as hell, but you have nothing to lose by taking risks and everything to lose by staying stuck." So I learned to "act." I got so good at it that I learned to love public speaking and I held absolutely nothing back in my love relationships. I got hurt a few times but realized that it didn't kill me and the potential payoff was incredible. Now I'm in grad school to become a Marriage & Family Therapist and have the best marriage I've ever seen! I've studied CBT and other modalities from textbooks and, at times, used it on myself. It's POWERFUL!
One of my core believes is definitely I’m a failure like this mock-up did. Not smart, dating untruthfully to my self, always making sure that everybody have a good experience with me. This was me in a nutshell 🙈 love this🙏🏼
I just watched this entire session and as a counseling intern, I found this to be very helpful in understanding how to execute this approach conducted by the therapist and listen to the benefits from the patient.
I am Puerto Rican, I have a bachelor's degree in psychology and I am about to start my master's degree in the US. For this reason I am looking for these videos to improve my understanding of English, and at the same time reinforce knowledge in psychology. But I ended up sitting in the client's chair in this video. What this man does is immeasurable. I could identify with his character. It was literally me in that chair. Thank you for these videos and for the work you do Kyle.
I watched the whole session and as a second year PsyD student it’s so insightful to actually see the practice in action rather than know the theory behind it. I will admit I felt attacked once the core belief in the video was shown as I identified I had the same one. I feel useless and worthless and that tracends into other areas of my life in different degrees with many overcompensating behaviors so nobody realizes I actually don’t know what I’m doing.
Thank you, this was an amazing process through which I learned my first core belief is “I’m unlovable, if my own mother didn’t love me why would anyone?” Over and over throughout my life.
I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! A core belief for me is definitely that i have to continuously prove myself, get validation about what I am doing...Stems from childhood trauma and I am working on it! Thank you guys for all the work you do! I am currently completing my Masters in Counseling and i can only hope to help people the way you all do! Thank you
I just found you and I watched the entire session. This was amazing. My therapist doesn't do anything like this... My Core Belief is that "I am not worthy" and I don't think I realized that until today. And now that I'm thinking about it... I am remembering the hundreds of interactions I have had with people my entire life where this has been a thing.
Cock and ball torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking.
Watched this whole session. I grew up with a narcissistic / borderline mother and have a core unlovable belief that has led me to choose unsafe and unloving people to be around. The 'full circle' of seeing where Dr. Ho was going with the experiments and how this breaks down this core belief was super helpful!
Watched the whole thing and loved it! As a military veteran with PTSD and social work student, it made me realize some things about myself. Totally loved it and even emailed my counselor with the link so we can hopefully discuss this. Thank you!
I can relate with this video 100%. I'm going through my 3rd major break up at 34 yo, and this time was totally my fault because my traumas I was behaving as a man child. I don't specifically think that I will die alone as people really liked/loved me in the past and some others will do again. Now I'm pretty sure that there are techniques and tools that will help me cope and become the type of man I feel proud of to be, and with effort, patience and time, I will do better and nurture better relationships in the future.
dunno where I heard this "Faiure is not the end, it is a necessary part of the journey" Steve Jobs was kicked out of his own company and he took it back and fired all the people who voted against him. Best example I have.
Oh I noticed too, not by the arm crossing but by the words. I thought the arm crossing was premeditated for the role play, but who knows?! At the begining I was like, nothing is an accident, waiting for the moment where He was gonna get projected, but I got projected myself AND started crying lol.
EXACTLY... I thought the same thing... watching his movements I for one.. thought this video was great because it DID turn into a real CBT Session. I totally connected with these two GREAT people. I Teach NLP/Hypnotherapy and I am wanting to incorporate CBT in my sessions I already do... but I want more...
Very instructive example of how the therapy works in terms of challenging beliefs that are causing us unhappiness and eventually replacing them with accurate, healthy self-assessments.
I enjoyed this video. I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I also noticed your body language very much different than your other videos. I wish you well and hope you find that person. I think your beautiful inside out. Thank you for everything.
Beautifully done the exchange of therapist digging deep to the core is what heals those years of walking around believing the negative roles and acting from that base. Thank you
Inherently? What makes you inherently bad? Are you referring to psychopathy and that you’re putting up a charming facade to give the illusion of normalcy? Or if you mean something else do let me know :)
@@iworshipgaysandsatan6822 I think she means something along the lines of having unreachable standards for herself, her behaviour and her actions which make her feel like a worthless (/bad) person continuously. But that's just my assumption naturally.
I felt like this. We probably have different issues from each other but I had felt like that for almost of my teenage and adult years. I was not making the best decision, and lying a lot, not to lie but to not hurt ppl as I was trying to find what made me happy. Then one day I realized my life felt too complicated from the decisions I had made, almost like I was living a double life. I remember stepping into my first therapy session and telling my therapist I’m just so tired of the way I am, I just want to stop feeling like I have a double life and have my life feel simple. I had carried a lot of guilt from all the ppl I had hurt or let down, and guilt because I decided to live my life differently then how my very strict catholic parents had tried to raise me. All I can say is things can get better, you may relapse every now and then and have moments when you feel like your old self...but the days where you feel the progress you made push you forward. Best of luck!
lechatnoir inherently makes the suggestion that it’s ingrained in them, I hope they try to use different language to boost their self image, most peoples ‘bad’ qualities can change and I think a good start is by looking at the language we use to define ourselves. Most people have bad habits and bad coping mechanisms/behaviours etc. But they do not make us inherently ‘bad’ people :)
I would use the same words to describe how I have felt at my lowest. The best way to explain how this felt ...I guess how Patrick Bateman in American Psycho felt.
Kyle, I really see myself in you. But from the outside I can tell you: you ARE loveable. The feeling inside often also holds us back from being happy (with or without someone)! Great session btw! it really is a struggle with this covert and open core believes
Hey! This was amazing. I am studying a master of counselling and bumped into this video while procrastinating, but this was so inspiring. It also hit me hard on a personal level, since my core belief actually happens to be this same one, that I am unlovable/Unlikeable. Thanks a lot for this. xx
That was great. I relate to the feelings of unworthiness. My need for people pleasing and always putting other needs above mine can attest to that. I also struggle to ask for help with anything and if I do I feel like I’m indebted to the person even though it could have been the simplest of favours. On the other hand, I’m always happy to help others and don’t feel at all like they owe me anything for it.
I've had dozens of CBT-sessions/therapists. None were like this. They all ever just listened and said "oh, that's bad" or "oh, that makes sense", and that was it. Talking to my wall was more productive and reflective.
@@josephinesipple6956 All that therapy is a pity party, and these psych experts are making a financial killing off weak minded people. It's a religion... you don't need it.
Totally here until the end. Kyle was a great patient you answered what I would have answered my core believe was the one they role played w. Thank you for this!!!
A core belief that I have is that I am not a good person. It’s something that I want to work on because I see myself over compensating for people and things around me to prove that I am a good person. Great video, I am in school to be come a therapist… 22:07
I absolutely watched the whole session and appreciate the breakdown of steps. It helps gel what I am studying while doing a masters in counselling psyc. Thank you.
Watched the whole thing. I'm trying to figure out what kind of therapy or counseling I need. This video was extremely helpful. I think a core belief I have is that there is something wrong with me. Everything in daily life seems like it is harder for me to accomplish compared to other people and that I'm a failure and worthless ...
Huge props to Kyle for putting himself out there. Kyle, thousands will see this conversation as a role-model of how opening up about your concerns is normal, leads to insights, solutions, and ultimately feeling better. That's huge role-model work! Thank you! For all the students watching: The pivotal moment in the video was with the question at 5:50. That was overwhelming which was demonstrated with Kyle immediately closing himself off with his arms - a protection mode which he then didn't drop until the very end of the talk, when he finally had relief through "stopping being a patient now", like he said. It's really hard to watch that Judy went on after that crucial feedback from Kyle, completely unphased. Unloading to him a packed lecture about the intricacies of the CBT "technology", while he was sitting there basically silently screaming for help, just having exposed himself significantly. The body of the person will always tell you the most. When the person is closed off, that's too much for them. It's protection mode. Back off. Go easy. No teaching or therapy can be done then. What Kyle did after that was literally muscling through the whole thing, DESPITE Judy's 10.000 word speed lecture, not thanks to it. You can also follow Kyle's significant droop of energy throughout the conversation, which began right when he closed himself off. His face looked more and more exhausted, as he literally flexes and struggles to follow the speed lecture (while closed off the WHOLE time). That's the proof of his suffering. Even if he said "no, no, guys, I can do it, I can". There's no need to torture the client. His energy and body shift again when he "drops the patient role" at 20:20. He finally experiences relief because it's OVER. Do you follow? The whole props go to Kyle. He really survived this whole ordeal of anxiousness for 20 minutes, while having to flex his mind in that state to follow the completely unphased speed lecture of Judy while literally suffering, and connecting all the dots by himself in the end. What Judy COULD have done is recognize that Kyle had had too much at 5:50, and then to RESPOND ADEQUATELY. Wind down the unstoppable talking, while Kyle struggles to follow, and correct the approach. Recognize the new feelings and experience. Change the tone. Ease in. Slow down. AS LONG AS IT'S NECESSARY. And you'll get the green light again FROM THE CLIENT. Not from yourself deciding you'll bulldozer through and unload the lecture to a struggling client. At 5:50 she could have literally said "Kyle thank you for opening up, if this is too much for you, we don't have to continue." And if they stopped, it would have been legitimate! If he said let's go on, ease him in until he shows signs that he's ok - which you will see by looking at his body. THEN you can go on. You can also completely ignore all of that, which we call putting insane pressure on the client. For them to deal with by themselves. Folks, this is the client doing the work. Do you see how much energy he spent by himself? Look at his face and body. The therapist should protect the client from that, not ignore it. If a person didn't come back to therapy after something like this, it's literally because they don't want to suffer by themselves for 20 mins or an hour! Not because "they're not ready to do what it takes, I knew it! They all quit easily!". It doesn't have to "take that". Kyle saved this one. Huge props.
I'm just surprised I haven't seen more responses here to your observations. I did notice his closing off at that point, ua-cam.com/video/8-2WQF3SWwo/v-deo.html and it didn't seem acted, it felt real. So I believe there's a strong possibility that he actually feels this core belief. I've experienced the same thing in many of my therapy sessions, where I am pushing through and struggling to maintain some kind of equilibrium and process all the ideas being talked about, while in this struggling state of mind. I have also had my therapist put on the brakes and walk me through recentering and coming back to the present. Some trauma gets triggered sometimes.
For myself, to be ‘tolerated’ is a life gift and a pretty good start for anyone.....I don’t particularly care whether I am liked or even loved by others. Over the centuries millions of communities globally have not been ‘tolerated by dominant others and were wiped out. Toleration is a gift.
I'm a counsellor-in-training (currently getting my master's degree), so I was watching this video for help with practice assessments I have to do. I wasn't expecting to be challenged to consider what my core beliefs are, but now that you have challenged me, I'm going to do some journaling and find out. Thank you for that.
This was an awesome CBT session. I liked the laddering and how Dr Judy asked to identify some “ core beliefs”. Then she gave you homework to bring back for next session! She is obviously a good therapist! The key is to find a good therapist that can effectively take you thru CBT to heal the subconscious and conscious minds and behaviors in the present!! Thank you do much Dr Judy!!🌺😊
![How to Process Trauma [EMDR techniques]](/img/n.gif)
What's your core belief?
Access this entire series on CBT HERE: bit.ly/2Ne1TYV
The Core Belief can more accurately be a: *Fear Idea* that emerged through a negative experience or series of negative experiences and they may be chapter or "at that time" situational, and we carry them while retreating from situations where we feel we may be threatened to deal with them as a reality, thus the pick up fear weight.
It not what hat transpired but what you *think* may transpire.
Another reason *we need to truly understand the concept of the "Law of Attraction" and take charge of our Thoughts,* use Conscious Application of Thoughts, and reach for the Higher Minded position rather than the Ego Mind reacting and judging self and others. (Bam!)
Now, that's a good point relivant scenario statement. 😉
...and " being a failure" has got to be the #1 Core Belief.
Fear - the method by which all can be manipulated and controlled.
How this begs for knowledge of the "Universal Law of Attraction"
*Thoughts Create Reality*
Period!
An absolute reality. And everybody going the hard way around the world when all they need to do is learn this law and Master their thoughts.
that i was a loser and that i would not be able to take care of myself and hence a family. Its funny because I used that ladder technique it was amazing. It was like the ishikawa fish diagram for my thinking. I went down the ladder its like finding the root. then i ask if im a loser is true what does that mean? and i couldn't answers directly? I thought Ive spent so much time trying not to be a "loser." but then i ask what is a loser? what does that mean? so then i was like wait ive been running from something undefined so i decided to redefine it how i wanted and said a loser is someone who does whatever the want and is a free spirit. as soon as i said that my whole emotional demeanor, that tightness in my chest was gone and i saw the day brighten like there was a purpose there was hope. there was a future. thank you i am going to practice these technique. please help more about them . thank you.
i signed up for the free version but i could see this series?
This is not a therapist I would ever want treating me. She has a lot of insecurities and not comfortable with who she is. In fact she doesn’t even know who she is. She will never attract the right man. Plus she is anorexic. There’s a lot more but I’ll stop here.
Please make more of these MOCK sessions. ı’m a psychology student And i think this channel is truly a blessing
I'm with you, because sometimes I doubt myself like how am I suppose to have a session professionally when I don't know what its like at all. Not much channels post about this.
@@huvi_boston i agree completely
Me too! *High five*
We are usually thrown into the deep end at masters selection interviews and things like this are helpful. To actually see how a session might work 🤩
BALL BUSTER
I don’t feel like this guy is acting at all and I truly appreciate him doing this.
Right?! I wanna hug him
I agree 100%
And I actually feel the opposite , and it makes me angry. How a person who has never felt something can even try to play a role. Unless all his lines are from a real case, the whole video makes no sense to me
@@VaskaElGato Do you personally know this man? Do you know its BS and he has never felt something?
No? Then shut up. Maybe go get therapy for being vile.
@nothingtoseehere therapists have to eat too
“I really got into the patient role”
Sir I’m pretty sure you just got your own CBT session
His own Cawk and Boll Torture session?
FACTS!!!!!
His body language became SOOO closed off he definitely wasn’t playing a role anymore lol
he's a good actor
Haha I thought the same 😂
I have the same core belief of feeling unloved and unworthy. Today, I will take the steps to transform my mind from negative thoughts to more positive ones.
Me too
I kept my mouth shut in my very first CBT session 😂. As a stubborn teenager I didn't want to express my feelings in front of a stranger even she's my psychologist. My psychologist became friendly, loving, kind and understandable, So as I was comfortable, I started revealing everything to her in my 3rd session. I just want to say my psychologist thank you for being patient with me and having my back each and every time. She's such a good & truthful friend of mine today.
Yeah when I do a cock and ball torture session, I'm in too much pain to talk
It's perfectly normal. As counselors we also have therapy sessions with classmates throughout graduate school. It is not easy in that first session, because you feel exposed. You are not the only one.
you were lucky. Where I live they're busy, so even after the expensive payment (because gov. ones are way more busy) they just ask couple questions and say: "hımm you need more meds", "you need to masturbate more" or "you need to get a gf". Then post you out the door
Turns out gov. mandated ones were still better then private ones. Even though they don't have time, they still care
@@user-ro1cc8tz6d true
Being a teenager is extremely hard, and opening up to anyone is extremely difficult when you’ve gone from one abusive parent’s house to the other.
Only in writing this message do I feel like I’m beginning to understand where the suicidal thoughts come from.
At 14, I absconded with my dad’s car and drove across the country searching for my sanctuary - rather than commit suicide.
I ran into trouble after two weeks on the run. Then I had to go back to the hell holes. I guess my survival strategy from that point forward was to shut down.
lmao imagine being able to talk to a therapist without actually crying
omg yess. I had a zoom counseling session and I cried through the whole thing. the worst thing is that it was just audio so I didn't see my therapist so I imagined her waiting for me to finish my whale cry like 🙂
i never cried in a therapy lol
Wow ur so unique
my toughs exactly... like i start crying the SECOND i walk it
meloshaya Alm this was me 2 days ago lmao😭
50% of comments: This was what I was looking for. Very informative.
Other 50%: *This is not what I was looking for.*
20% BALL STRETCHER
I agree!!!
i see the comments the video was about to make fun of something
Very funny
COCK AND BALL TORTURE
From Wikipedia the free encyclopedia at en.wikipedia..org/wiki/Cock_and_ball_torture
Cock and ball torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving the application of pain or construction of the male genitals this may involve directly painful activity’s such as wax play , genital spanking , ball busting , erotic electro stimulation and even kicking
The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism or the knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sidistic dominant electrostimulation applied on a penis
Contents
Section 1 in pornography
Section 2 ball stretcher
Section 3 parachute
Section 4 humbler
Section 5 testicle cuff
SECTION 1
In pornography
In addition to its occasional role is
BDSM pornography Tomakeri (lit. Ball kicking) is a separate genre in japan
One notable actresses in tamakeri is Erika Nagai
Who uses her martial arts skills to kick men in the testicles
SECTION 2
Ball stretcher
A ball stretcher is a sex toy that is fastened around a man in order to elongate the scrotum and provide a feeling of weight pulling the testicles away from the body
My core belief is “people will find out that I am actually dumb”
This mock session explains CBT very well for me. Thank you
same
You're not alone
same
Also known as imposter syndrome.
Same!
I cried a little watching this... Things he said really hit home
Same! I felt exposed
same
ball stretcher
Same
Cock and ball torture can make people cry sometimes
I love how his entire demeanor shifted as he started getting deeper into his core belief. His body language closed up; folded arms and legs. Great work!
Most gay guys change their demeanor and body language when it's time to man up.
@@nyc4life448 toxic masculinity
@@nyc4life448 FACTS! I'm like, they do this everyday!
Tru😅😅
@@nyc4life448 amount gay-man this core belief is well common! Due to that core belief a lot of gays always need attention
I’ve just discovered this thanks to this UA-cam channel. I’m a single parent who cannot afford therapy, and I have noticed behavioral patterns in my daughter that I exhibited as a child so now I’m obsessively researching how to heal so I don’t create another miserable “me”.
Thank you!!!
Just by hearing tht shows you're a great mother and a beautiful person, your daughter's blessed to have you, keep going x
You’re going to do a good job don’t worry. This isn’t hard work, only to cluster b idiots. You’re just basically revisiting yourself, revisioning yourself , and resetting yourself.
You are so brave in writing about what worries you. I developed depression from age 9 and also anxiety partly because of the Autism I was born with. I found out years later I'd been ill with depression and was so devastated it took me several months to actually tell my family about it. Then several years later I suspected Autism and then got diagnosed with it 3 years later, as the waiting list was very long. It took me about 4 years to get to understand myself after the ASD diagnosis. But I feel better now. I'm not really the person I used to be because I'm no longer suffering with the awful confusion and brain fog etc that being unaware of the ASD and depression caused me, and those nasty people who like to bully and take advantage (who were attracted to my vulnerability) have actually vanished. I rarely sink and become more vulnerable now and am able to tell people "keep your distance from me" and "watch your manners towards me", and I could never confront people many years ago. It's an astonishing difference now compared to 20 years ago. It helped me to do some research on the unconscious mind and how it behaves. If you've had any particularly bad experiences you could attempt to do CBT on your own - it's creating a script of the entire event from minutes before it happened to minutes after it finishes, and you talk through it in the most detailed way possible. (This is what my CBT therapist did with me, and he would interrupt me at least several times during my story-telling and ask me "what feelings are you experiencing at this point?", and he would also ask me about bright lights, noise in the background, and what I felt in my body. My CBT therapist told me that this therapy makes you face the event and think about every part of it in order for your mind to finally process it. CBT tends to be used for single traumatic events such as assault, witnessing something horrendous, bad car accidents, sexual abuse etc. Once the trauma memory has been worked through, it will likely become unstuck which is a good thing. It takes time but once "processed" in the mind that trauma memory becomes less powerful and the mind will slowly stop going over and over it.) It depends on why you need therapy but there's definitely a way to recover on your own after several horrific events I've experienced myself. There's a book called The Body Keeps the Score by a famous therapist who is from Europe. It's fantastic and I'd recommend it.
You truly are a good mother for even wanting to figure things out she is blessed to have u
To late lol
I'm a clinical psychologist. I love how she can empathize and validate her client, as well as challenge irrational thoughts with behavioral experiment. That's really good and on point.
@@mark7428right
@@mark7428 No way a therapist talks this much in a session, more like 10/90 from my experience
As a guy, I think she should dress more conservatively because her skimpy outfit with so much bare skin and legs on display would be a distraction from the session for a lot of guys. But maybe she dressed that way for clicks and views on the video, which isn't unusual these days I guess. Not criticizing her looks, she's attractive. I just feel she's dressed inappropriately for the situation.
@@mark7428 I think talk therapy and DBT might be different
They’re trying to PORTRAY how a session might go it’s not a real session lmao that’s why she’s talking excessively
As someone who's studying Psychology, this puts things to prospective of how psychology is actually put into application. Very informative!
umm... I was kind of looking for something else when I searched CBT
ua-cam.com/video/EbwRFcoEugQ/v-deo.html
I watched the video completely, and it is a great one!
whoa, TIL prospective is a word, and it's not a professional perspective 🤯
When a mock therapy session turns into an actual therapy session.
11:48 was when it became a real one I thought, hahaha!
From the 3rd sentence he spoke after starting the mock session is where I thought “ohhhh it’s no longer mock, my friend” Too much emotion in his words and I don’t know if he’s that good at acting or emotional improv. If he is he needs an Oscar.
For sure. I remember learning about how simply defending and/or pretending to believe a principle, opinion, or personality you will actually start to adopt that as part of you, or at least channel a truth about yourself.
I'm sad for him. Made me cry, I think he's wonderful
Lol I’m watching this and I had the same thoughts.
Where is the BALL STRETCHER?
Martin Beberman and a parachute
Wrong server
nah, where's the T E S T I C L E C U F F?
@@sml2k186 ???
🤣🤣
I've learned more in this 23 min video than I have in the past three years of therapy. The way CBT is described in this video is unreal. I have struggled with this concept for many years and not one therapist has explained it so well the way Dr. Judy has.
cbt is percisely this i wonder what your therapist was using with you
@@ecem8546 my therapist used ball stretcher
@@ecem8546 to be clear there is a lot more to CBT than this one technique. The science of addressing cognitive distortions and behavioral patterns as a way to change emotions is broad and constantly evolving and growing
This is the best example. My therapist claims to use CBT, but he doesn’t.
That's sad. No one has explained this better to you for three years
I would love to see more of these mock therapy session. Is rare to have the privilege of watching another practitioner in action.
When she said the fear of being incapable, that really hit home for me. I have ADHD and have struggled with feeling useless since I was a child.
Same! I feel you, I was diagnosed with ADHD when i was 8 years old and luckily, since my mom is a neuropediatrician, she was comprehensive and made me understand that I was clever and ADHD didn't mean I was less capable. It's still hard especially now that I'm entering higher studies, and I have to rely a lot on self-discipline, which is not really my strength. But just remember that you are perfectly capable! You're intelligent, you're creative, and just because you are a fish that can't climb a tree, doesn't mean you're worthless. You can do this, you've got this!
Saratc my mom is a pharmacist. All I ever got was meds and after fucking up for the last straw in my first relationship sabotaging the whole thing and the way I reacted. I said enough. No therapist she sent me too worked and she refused life coaches or relationship coaches earlier in my life. Sooooo now I put a team around me. I spent around 9000$ of my own money with relationship coaches over 6 months and my god if I only had them as a younger adult..... life would have been different
I would say an airline pilot is pretty capable!
You are not useless, use your ADHD as a positive, I bet you’re never bored? You have a great imagination, you’re creative, use the talents you have and build on them. Don’t fight adhd or overthink it, it’s only a small part of you and doesn’t define everything about you. Good luck.
@@brianhyland4140 Thanks Brian. That means a lot. 😊
Core belief : Afraid of being vulnerable and it took me a few minutes to decide to comment.
Brother, you are safe and never alone. Love exists and you are worthy of it. I love you, you love you (if you just let yourself feel it), and God loves you (if you're comfortable with that sort of thing---if not, sorry I brought it into this).
@@fatherzosima9869 Me too bro I just feel like as young man in this society being vulnerable is taken as being a
p***y
ball stretcher
Servant of Chaos ha
Thanks for speaking out. It's attractive and encouraging to see a good looking man admit that because it shows that you strive to be a strong provider and person un the support role while also having the depth of self reflection to admit your needs and fears. I'm so sorry if you were hurt before, no one deserves to have their vulnerability neglected or attacked. I hope you find opportunities to see that you can be loved and cherished and vulnerable all at once.
I'm a psychology student, and I learned a lot watching this session. I agree we all have a core belief that makes us live by it.
I watched the entire session. This is extremely helpful.
One of my core beliefs is that I cant ever lean on anyone else as a safe space when I am falling apart. I always have to be the strong one that pulls up my boots straps and keeps on going.
Rebecca Luzier ur core belief is actually a stark reality !!
@@sazaydehmed9819 this is reality, however, if I ever want to achieve depth in my marriage specifically, I have to learn to allow myself to lean into my husband when I'm a mess. Knowing full well that he may not be able to handle me. But that (based on my spiritual life) God has him and me ultimately. I also believe that no one else around me is as strong as I am. (Pride much?! Lol)
So that ego gets in the way for me a lot.
Rebecca Luzier yeah kinda agree 👍🏼
If we are damaged by another person, trust can not be given to anyone. We may require others to prove they can be trusted.
Are you bragging or complaining?
I am proud of you, that you are pulling up your own boot straps!!!
"You Go Girl"
This helps a lot. I just figured out that I was in denial that my core belief is feeling unlovable and worthless, I keep attracting people in my life that treats me low and I would always try to keep them above me even though I know I am better than them, I dont want them feeling less than me which results to me feeling less too, I know its not right but I can’t help myself doing it.
Same!
Likewise im doing like you...God bless us
what I really loved about this video was the question “if that was true what would that mean” wow, you can dive deep into ANY kind of thought. Thank you guys !
Sending love and support to anyone who is experiencing pain and difficulty in their life journey. You are not alone.
You got this!
💙
Thanks, I needed to see that note-to remind myself that love and kindness is very present in the world, no matter how I may feel at the moment
I too watched the entire session and it had me in tears mainly because this is my core belief. You loss parts of your soul the longer this goes unchecked. Unfortunately many therapists are not as in tuned with helping you get out of therapy. I loved this because you saw the steps and now know what to expect with this type of therapy. I too think more mock therapy session will be helpful.
Thank you for being here.
Allison Adams can u explain me this session
I saw the whole thing!!! I loved it!!! My core belief was “I’m unlovable” and “there is something wrong about me” thank God for therapy ☺️ I learned I just needed to find the right people that actually loved me for who I am and not the ones that only used me to fulfill their needs.
My current belief is *BALL STRETCHER*
BALL BUSTING
You can´t choose your coworkers and family members though. You can cut off the toxic family members to some degree, you can technically become homeless living in the woods to avoid bullying at workplace... but this is not the solution the most of people would go for.
I feel the same way & that I'll always be alone.
Just help people; there's loads that need help, people, cat shelters, dog shelters etc you'll feel loved because you love others and care. It works believe me.😍
My current therapist and I talked about core values because I was going through a bit of an identity crisis. Knowing my core values TRULY helped ground myself in my own identity. Mine were Ethicality, Personal Growth, Open-mindedness, Intelligence, and Humility.
It's beautiful the way to explain.... Can you please continue this session with another technique u ll use with in this same context so that it's relatable n give us more understanding in this context
Same due to ocd
My core belief was "When I Marry, I am to be Married for Life" - Divorce will hurt my children. A Toxic Marriage meant I am a failure.
My Psychologist challenged my belief and helped me to realise that my marriage was already over, whether I stayed or not.
I also realised that I was teaching my son that it is OK for a man to emotionally abuse his wife, and there are no consequences to his actions.
I had not thought of that. I am now alone & enjoying my life.
It has been a year since you commented, but I just wanted to congratulate you and let you know that your words really made me tear up. I've experienced my mother's separation from my stepfather, and it was a really difficult time for me. However, as you mentioned, teaching children that it’s okay for a man to emotionally abuse his wife should never be normalized. Kudos to you!
Well, I had an abusive dad all my life and wondered why mom never left. As I grew up I understood it was because she didn't trust her parents and didn't have any place to go. She left home at 50. I'm actually happy for her. She looks much happier and healthier since then. Divorce may seem like a negative situation, because breaking up is hard and negative I suppose. But leaving with someone you don't want and tolerating them your whole life is harder and worse of a situation. I hope you find your own path you can enjoy now that you're alone
What is wrong with her wanting "to marry and be happy for life"? Is it better to want "to marry and be abused"? And her new core belief is " I am just a 100% innocent, helpless victim of toxic masculinity." Maybe there was a good reason why you had not thought of putting all the blame on your partner at first.
I was having a paranoia panic attack and I found this video and it actually made it go away. Thank you 💕
Wow that was real session. When he was acting like a patient he was tense and still. And right after he changed his role as an interviewer he started to talk by using his hand too. He looked more relaxed. By the way, thank you. It really helps me a lot.
This was so great. I think one of my core beliefs is that my worth depends on my looks, “maybe they would like me more if I were prettier or skinner.”
I know this may sound weird heard from a stranger but i swear your worth isnt established by your looks.
My girlfriend has an ed and has been struggling a lot with body dysmorphia in the last year and it breaks my heart to see her feel bad about herself due to things that are completely normal (she thinks her belly gets too big when she eats).
She's beautiful and is really really nice and kind, she's one of the best people I've ever met and its not because she looks in a certain way but because thats what she is, she's a nice person.
So please, dont think your value is decided by your looks, whether you look good or not, wear cool clothes or not, have a cool attitude or not, some people will like you and some wont but they wont choose over your appearance, and if they do they're just not the right people for you.
I hope this helps
@@bombastic-boom thank you for this. You are so kind! I really do appreciate your words.
Which is actually true... just kidding lol
@@vision3691 right.. “haha”
Wow 🥺 memories unlocked
I watched the whole session to try to understand CBT and other modalities better, and I feel so much clearer on CBT now. Thanks for all you do!
One of my core beliefs is that I will always be poor, but just thinking through this process you two just showed us is already helping me gather evidence that challenges that. Thanks for your work here!
Core belief: I won't be cared for fully or good enough unless I do everything I can and have achieved what I set out. In other words if i'm not super productive and super accomplishing I'm not good enough and won't be respected enough.
I don't let myself be super productive because I burn out and hit mental health issues but it's still in the back of my mind.
I have the same issues!
One of my core beliefs is that "I'm too much". After a lot of therapy, I learned that was what my covert narc mom used to say to me as a kid when I complained about her treatment of me. These core beliefs are often the internalized voices of our caregivers or messages we got in society.
I find that often there's a better name for 'core beliefs': gaslighted
@@namitaatadw45 True, true. Gaslighting or projection ; )
Did you ever become suicidal because it was the only way to get rid of what was too much?
@@namitaatadw45 albert ellis llamó: la perturbación de la creencia inflexible debe ser de alguna manera. la gente y el trabajo, la tiranía del mosto
JoJo did you uncover those words from your mom, because of your CBT sessions? Also, you are not the only one with this core belief.
Not the CBT I was thinking, Im boutta head out
@@crazyscientistfarmer2091 The free encyclopedia
I have returned to watch this entire session again, one year later 25 FEB 2023. I have now completed the courses to my masters of arts in counselling psyc and waiting to start practicum. This is where the theoretical training gets put into practice. MedCircle is definitely a favourite channel of mine! Feeling unworthy, not good enough, is pervasive across clients and is familiar to me, as well. This link has relevant content. Thank you.
"Constantly making sure people are happy about our interactions" - totally relate!! thank you so much for your courage and honesty. this 'mock' session hit home in many ways.
This turned into an actual session for me because those are my exact feelings and MY CORE beliefs and struggles. I am currently dealing with the ending of a long time and very deep relationship. Truly needed this
I'm a counseling student and this session blew me away. CBT has always been a favorite method of mine but I've never seen it used like this. Nevermind the fact that the patient literally spoke my own core belief. I felt like this was me being put the CBT. Loved it!
Are you sure you love CBT?
CBT has always been a favorite of mine
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Are you sure about that
me too. I empathize that i was him being put in the CBT.
Watched the whole session and would love to see more. This is so helpful as a counselor in training! Thank you!
Watched the whole session. So insightful. I’ve seen around 5 therapists in my life and I’ve never had a session like this. There needs to be more therapists like Dr. Judy and Dr. Ramani!
yes, right?
Is this type of laddering helpful for you? Interested in studying CBT
eolauryn4 Definitely. Getting to the root of problems is the best way to fix them.
Kelly M thank you for providing helpful insight!!
It's doctor Ho. Judt is her first name.
Core belief/hidden fear: that my family doesn’t really love me. They only love me so long as I make their lives easier and do things the way they like.
Yep My Family ONLY Uses me 2 Do Work For them. I get No Pay & Am Excluded From Everything Except When Im Needed 2 Do Things. I Feel Very Hurt, USED, & UNLOVED. Im Cutting ALL TIES & Blocking Ph#’s. Im Old Enough 2 Know When I’m Being USED, & Lied 2 & Taken Advantage Of. No MORE of Them Taking My KINDNESS FOR WEAKNESS. I Am NOT WORTHLESS. I ❤️ ME👍😊
Candy Shier Dear One, I would like to suggest you tell them how you feel before you cut all ties. Their response may surprise you, and you would miss out on finding out they never wanted you to feel that way, and they really love you. This said Unless they are total Narcissists, and if they are, I want to encourage you to cut ties, at least for a while. Narcissistic people are so toxic, you may need to cut ties permanently, but check them out, if they aren’t. Either way you will have the truth come out. That’s healing to know. Bless you.
BALL STRETCHER
@@candyparkes7832
"Amen" Candy... You Go Girl... Proud of you!!!
Cock and ball torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking.
One of my core beliefs is what you worked on! That I’m worthless, and I always put others first and take care of everyone around me to prove my worth. I feel people wouldn’t be around me if I didn’t do this. I’ve done a lot of work being ok if people are unhappy that I’m not fixing everything for them. I love myself even if no one else did I have my deep love for myself now.
Truly amazing. My core belief is my excuses that I use for failure. I'm finishing my psychology degree and this video really teaches newer clinicians a great example of therapy. Keep it going
I've been going to CBT for approx. 3 months, and I must say, most of the time I was talking, she was okay, but she never asked me that kind of questions like here in the mock session. I got some homework to do, like writing down negative thoughts and how did I replace them... It felt better for a time but then I got to think It was not really helping me, I'm helping myself because of all the study I do in my own time. I'm changing my therapist! Thank you so much for this, I got my belief in CBT back.
My therapist sucked and I fired her . When the Patient knows terminology and the Therapist doesn’t . Red Flag.
It’s a trial and error process when it comes to finding the most suitable partner for you
Oh my gosh!!!Same here. I want to be my own therapist by watching various therapy videos and taking notes consistently.
Watched the whole thing and showed the abnormal psychology classes I teach.
This channel has been a godsend for teaching remotely this past school year. The doctor's knowledge and ability to explain so well to their audience has been such an inspiration to me. And Kyle is such an amazing host and interviewer. This channel has been a life-changer.
Thank you so much for this mock therapy session. Going to therapy can feel like walking into a room blindfolded. It’s difficult to know what to say to get the right kind of help, especially when there are so many things to address, and at the same time trying not to beat around the bush. I believe this type of session would have taken months even years of therapy to get to this point where these two therapists did in 20 min. So thank you.
I agree and worry that might be the case when I go.
I grew up with unloving parents and severe social anxiety disorder. I never had the benefit of a CBT Therapist and I had core beliefs about being stupid, being uncapable, and being unloved (not necessarily unlovable because I had hope). Over a period of 3 adult decades, I did my own experiments. I learned the art of "acting" so I could model the behavior of others without believing it was really "me" taking the risks. My attitude was, "It's scary as hell, but you have nothing to lose by taking risks and everything to lose by staying stuck." So I learned to "act." I got so good at it that I learned to love public speaking and I held absolutely nothing back in my love relationships. I got hurt a few times but realized that it didn't kill me and the potential payoff was incredible. Now I'm in grad school to become a Marriage & Family Therapist and have the best marriage I've ever seen! I've studied CBT and other modalities from textbooks and, at times, used it on myself. It's POWERFUL!
Congrats on doing the work. That inspires me to
Wow
One of my core believes is definitely I’m a failure like this mock-up did. Not smart, dating untruthfully to my self, always making sure that everybody have a good experience with me. This was me in a nutshell 🙈 love this🙏🏼
I just watched this entire session and as a counseling intern, I found this to be very helpful in understanding how to execute this approach conducted by the therapist and listen to the benefits from the patient.
Man hats off to the guy for leaving all the cbt comments up 😂
Cock and ball torture comments?
The free encyclopedia
At en.wikipedia.org
cock and ball torture
(CBT) Is a sexual activity, involving torture of the male genitals
I am Puerto Rican, I have a bachelor's degree in psychology and I am about to start my master's degree in the US. For this reason I am looking for these videos to improve my understanding of English, and at the same time reinforce knowledge in psychology. But I ended up sitting in the client's chair in this video. What this man does is immeasurable. I could identify with his character. It was literally me in that chair. Thank you for these videos and for the work you do Kyle.
I watched the whole session and as a second year PsyD student it’s so insightful to actually see the practice in action rather than know the theory behind it. I will admit I felt attacked once the core belief in the video was shown as I identified I had the same one. I feel useless and worthless and that tracends into other areas of my life in different degrees with many overcompensating behaviors so nobody realizes I actually don’t know what I’m doing.
Your comment has everything I wanted to say ❤
My core belief: that I am not capable enough to make my dreams a reality
Oh but you are Corinne! ♥️ if you can have the dream you are more than capable. Wishing you the Best of luck on your journey 🙏🏼✨
Bro fuckin same ! i live in my head too much
Ok… what does cock and ball torture have to do with this?
Same
Oh yes , i feel that way too.
Thank you, this was an amazing process through which I learned my first core belief is “I’m unlovable, if my own mother didn’t love me why would anyone?” Over and over throughout my life.
Started off as a role play session, but soon became authentic and personal.
I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! A core belief for me is definitely that i have to continuously prove myself, get validation about what I am doing...Stems from childhood trauma and I am working on it! Thank you guys for all the work you do! I am currently completing my Masters in Counseling and i can only hope to help people the way you all do! Thank you
I loved it! My core belief is that "I'm broken", I'm definitely going to therapy after this afternoon. THANK YOU for this channel❤
I just found you and I watched the entire session. This was amazing. My therapist doesn't do anything like this... My Core Belief is that "I am not worthy" and I don't think I realized that until today. And now that I'm thinking about it... I am remembering the hundreds of interactions I have had with people my entire life where this has been a thing.
How is it possible that she can be sooo clever, sooooo personable and sooooooo gorgeous, all at the same time?
she's asian!
Whoever decided to call that cbt, youre a legend.
what u mean?
mogur00 CBT can also mean cock and ball torture
@@mayohyundai1152 thank you for explaining the ball stretcher comments
mogur00 ua-cam.com/video/fhrQPxUdjl0/v-deo.html
Cock and ball torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking.
My core belief is that I can always start over. I always ask what is the worst case scenario and the I walk back. This has been very useful
Oh man, that "look at me I'm not worthless, I have a career, a house, friends, etc" got to me. I'm in my bachelor's for psychology myself.
Watched this whole session. I grew up with a narcissistic / borderline mother and have a core unlovable belief that has led me to choose unsafe and unloving people to be around. The 'full circle' of seeing where Dr. Ho was going with the experiments and how this breaks down this core belief was super helpful!
in tears most of the video. it was as if I was the patient. Thank you so much for being a support and a stepping stone on my healing path.
This was really good! My core belief is "I'm not good enough." Awareness is definitely key. Thank you for this.
This was really good episode!! Got emotional listening to this conversation. Realised that I need cbt if I want to move on with my life.
Yeah, me too!
Thank you for sharing this feedback!
Exactly
b a l l s t r e t c h e r
I am a 1st year psychology student and my Professor sent the class this video to watch. You guys made CBT make so much sense. Thank you
I loved this! I am so excited to start CBT now, my core belief is that I am always the odd one out and never accepted x
This is perfect
Trust me you dont wanna start CBT🤣🤣
always and never aey
Watched the whole thing and loved it! As a military veteran with PTSD and social work student, it made me realize some things about myself. Totally loved it and even emailed my counselor with the link so we can hopefully discuss this. Thank you!
Hey how is your SW journey going. I'm a veteran graduating with my BSW in about a month and starting my MSW in June.
Really interesting to see a cbt session in action, thank you. My core belief... I'm weak
ball stretcher
My balls ache. Never doing that again.
You can see them on pornhub
Lmfao
I can relate with this video 100%. I'm going through my 3rd major break up at 34 yo, and this time was totally my fault because my traumas I was behaving as a man child. I don't specifically think that I will die alone as people really liked/loved me in the past and some others will do again. Now I'm pretty sure that there are techniques and tools that will help me cope and become the type of man I feel proud of to be, and with effort, patience and time, I will do better and nurture better relationships in the future.
How insightful to come to that conclusion. Good luck in your healing process.
I watched the whole session and loved it! Core belief: everything that goes wrong is my fault
This was so good! My core belief-Afraid to be a failure.
Exactly
dunno where I heard this
"Faiure is not the end, it is a necessary part of the journey"
Steve Jobs was kicked out of his own company and he took it back and fired all the people who voted against him. Best example I have.
Mines the opposite! I'm afraid to be successful and happy
His body language implies this has turned into a real session...
Facts
Oh I noticed too, not by the arm crossing but by the words. I thought the arm crossing was premeditated for the role play, but who knows?! At the begining I was like, nothing is an accident, waiting for the moment where He was gonna get projected, but I got projected myself AND started crying lol.
I think he's just great at connecting with how a client might feel.
EXACTLY... I thought the same thing... watching his movements
I for one.. thought this video was great because it DID turn into a
real CBT Session. I totally connected with these two GREAT people.
I Teach NLP/Hypnotherapy and I am wanting to incorporate CBT in my sessions
I already do... but I want more...
@@DinorahNOliva
Exactly
Very instructive example of how the therapy works in terms of challenging beliefs that are causing us unhappiness and eventually replacing them with accurate, healthy self-assessments.
Second language speaker here. Learnt the word " epihany" long time ago. Experienced its meaning now. Thank you.
do you mean epiphany? second language here too... just pointing that out.
I enjoyed this video. I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I also noticed your body language very much different than your other videos. I wish you well and hope you find that person. I think your beautiful inside out. Thank you for everything.
Not the CBT i was expecting.
what u mean?
@@mogur00 r/wooosh
Lol
mogur00 B A L L S T R E T C H E R
mogur00 this one ua-cam.com/video/yTJxvKD4uog/v-deo.html
Beautifully done the exchange of therapist digging deep to the core is what heals those years of walking around believing the negative roles and acting from that base. Thank you
That mock session was amazing! I’d love to see more mock sessions.
I feel like I’m an inherently bad person “pretending” to be good
Inherently? What makes you inherently bad? Are you referring to psychopathy and that you’re putting up a charming facade to give the illusion of normalcy? Or if you mean something else do let me know :)
@@iworshipgaysandsatan6822 I think she means something along the lines of having unreachable standards for herself, her behaviour and her actions which make her feel like a worthless (/bad) person continuously. But that's just my assumption naturally.
I felt like this. We probably have different issues from each other but I had felt like that for almost of my teenage and adult years. I was not making the best decision, and lying a lot, not to lie but to not hurt ppl as I was trying to find what made me happy. Then one day I realized my life felt too complicated from the decisions I had made, almost like I was living a double life. I remember stepping into my first therapy session and telling my therapist I’m just so tired of the way I am, I just want to stop feeling like I have a double life and have my life feel simple. I had carried a lot of guilt from all the ppl I had hurt or let down, and guilt because I decided to live my life differently then how my very strict catholic parents had tried to raise me. All I can say is things can get better, you may relapse every now and then and have moments when you feel like your old self...but the days where you feel the progress you made push you forward. Best of luck!
lechatnoir inherently makes the suggestion that it’s ingrained in them, I hope they try to use different language to boost their self image, most peoples ‘bad’ qualities can change and I think a good start is by looking at the language we use to define ourselves. Most people have bad habits and bad coping mechanisms/behaviours etc. But they do not make us inherently ‘bad’ people :)
I would use the same words to describe how I have felt at my lowest. The best way to explain how this felt ...I guess how Patrick Bateman in American Psycho felt.
Kyle, I really see myself in you. But from the outside I can tell you: you ARE loveable. The feeling inside often also holds us back from being happy (with or without someone)!
Great session btw! it really is a struggle with this covert and open core believes
Omg, just listening to her made me feel so calm, wow this is amazing i wish i had enough money to go and do these sessions
Hey! This was amazing. I am studying a master of counselling and bumped into this video while procrastinating, but this was so inspiring. It also hit me hard on a personal level, since my core belief actually happens to be this same one, that I am unlovable/Unlikeable. Thanks a lot for this. xx
That was great. I relate to the feelings of unworthiness. My need for people pleasing and always putting other needs above mine can attest to that.
I also struggle to ask for help with anything and if I do I feel like I’m indebted to the person even though it could have been the simplest of favours. On the other hand, I’m always happy to help others and don’t feel at all like they owe me anything for it.
Can I know how your parents are?
@@razil6244 highly critical and fiercely independent, so I guess it comes as no surprise I turned out the way I did lol.
@@julianagrutzmann2223 yeah.
@@julianagrutzmann2223 I recommend a movie called joji. Just ignore if you don't want
this isn't what I was looking for when I searched for "CBT"
A parachute is a small collar
I searched the same thing and only clicked on this video to see if anyone searched the same thing
@@turtle-kl7ur same lol
Yes
@@turtle-kl7ur cook oond bool toortoore
After watching this I believe a Core Belief that has driven me unconsciously throughout my life is "I'm not good enough." Eye opening.
I've had dozens of CBT-sessions/therapists. None were like this.
They all ever just listened and said "oh, that's bad" or "oh, that makes sense", and that was it.
Talking to my wall was more productive and reflective.
Deedless Deity
Years of therapy for me have been a dead end, going nowhere thing also. Mental health care is extremely hard to find in my area.
@@josephinesipple6956 All that therapy is a pity party, and these psych experts are making a financial killing off weak minded people. It's a religion... you don't need it.
Msgoody 2shoes you don’t seem to understand how the human psyche works at ALL.
Sorry for your crap luck
@@danitiwa Msgoody 2shoes just explained how the human psyche works!
My core belief is that I have to cater to everyone’s feelings and be that “reliable friend” as I may not have an identity outside this
Totally here until the end. Kyle was a great patient you answered what I would have answered my core believe was the one they role played w. Thank you for this!!!
A core belief that I have is that I am not a good person. It’s something that I want to work on because I see myself over compensating for people and things around me to prove that I am a good person. Great video, I am in school to be come a therapist… 22:07
I absolutely watched the whole session and appreciate the breakdown of steps. It helps gel what I am studying while doing a masters in counselling psyc. Thank you.
Watched the whole thing. I'm trying to figure out what kind of therapy or counseling I need. This video was extremely helpful. I think a core belief I have is that there is something wrong with me. Everything in daily life seems like it is harder for me to accomplish compared to other people and that I'm a failure and worthless ...
Huge props to Kyle for putting himself out there. Kyle, thousands will see this conversation as a role-model of how opening up about your concerns is normal, leads to insights, solutions, and ultimately feeling better. That's huge role-model work! Thank you!
For all the students watching:
The pivotal moment in the video was with the question at 5:50. That was overwhelming which was demonstrated with Kyle immediately closing himself off with his arms - a protection mode which he then didn't drop until the very end of the talk, when he finally had relief through "stopping being a patient now", like he said.
It's really hard to watch that Judy went on after that crucial feedback from Kyle, completely unphased. Unloading to him a packed lecture about the intricacies of the CBT "technology", while he was sitting there basically silently screaming for help, just having exposed himself significantly.
The body of the person will always tell you the most. When the person is closed off, that's too much for them. It's protection mode. Back off. Go easy. No teaching or therapy can be done then. What Kyle did after that was literally muscling through the whole thing, DESPITE Judy's 10.000 word speed lecture, not thanks to it.
You can also follow Kyle's significant droop of energy throughout the conversation, which began right when he closed himself off. His face looked more and more exhausted, as he literally flexes and struggles to follow the speed lecture (while closed off the WHOLE time). That's the proof of his suffering. Even if he said "no, no, guys, I can do it, I can". There's no need to torture the client.
His energy and body shift again when he "drops the patient role" at 20:20. He finally experiences relief because it's OVER. Do you follow?
The whole props go to Kyle. He really survived this whole ordeal of anxiousness for 20 minutes, while having to flex his mind in that state to follow the completely unphased speed lecture of Judy while literally suffering, and connecting all the dots by himself in the end.
What Judy COULD have done is recognize that Kyle had had too much at 5:50, and then to RESPOND ADEQUATELY. Wind down the unstoppable talking, while Kyle struggles to follow, and correct the approach. Recognize the new feelings and experience. Change the tone. Ease in. Slow down. AS LONG AS IT'S NECESSARY. And you'll get the green light again FROM THE CLIENT. Not from yourself deciding you'll bulldozer through and unload the lecture to a struggling client.
At 5:50 she could have literally said "Kyle thank you for opening up, if this is too much for you, we don't have to continue." And if they stopped, it would have been legitimate! If he said let's go on, ease him in until he shows signs that he's ok - which you will see by looking at his body. THEN you can go on.
You can also completely ignore all of that, which we call putting insane pressure on the client. For them to deal with by themselves.
Folks, this is the client doing the work. Do you see how much energy he spent by himself? Look at his face and body. The therapist should protect the client from that, not ignore it.
If a person didn't come back to therapy after something like this, it's literally because they don't want to suffer by themselves for 20 mins or an hour! Not because "they're not ready to do what it takes, I knew it! They all quit easily!". It doesn't have to "take that".
Kyle saved this one. Huge props.
I'm just surprised I haven't seen more responses here to your observations. I did notice his closing off at that point, ua-cam.com/video/8-2WQF3SWwo/v-deo.html and it didn't seem acted, it felt real. So I believe there's a strong possibility that he actually feels this core belief. I've experienced the same thing in many of my therapy sessions, where I am pushing through and struggling to maintain some kind of equilibrium and process all the ideas being talked about, while in this struggling state of mind. I have also had my therapist put on the brakes and walk me through recentering and coming back to the present. Some trauma gets triggered sometimes.
How do you find a qualified CBT online ? What questions should one ask? Thanks
I am a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner student and this was so helpful for my education and understanding of CBT. Thank you!
Watched it all:
My core belief is that everyone secretly just tolerates me and doesn’t actually like me
I really hope you can work through this life crushing false belief....
For myself, to be ‘tolerated’ is a life gift and a pretty good start for anyone.....I don’t particularly care whether I am liked or even loved by others. Over the centuries millions of communities globally have not been ‘tolerated by dominant others and were wiped out. Toleration is a gift.
@@catherinehamer5653 agree. I’ll start worrying when I start give a flying fluck for what others think of me.
I feel you with this 💔 I'm the same
Me too
I'm a counsellor-in-training (currently getting my master's degree), so I was watching this video for help with practice assessments I have to do. I wasn't expecting to be challenged to consider what my core beliefs are, but now that you have challenged me, I'm going to do some journaling and find out. Thank you for that.
This was an awesome CBT session. I liked the laddering and how Dr Judy asked to identify some “ core beliefs”. Then she gave you homework to bring back for next session! She is obviously a good therapist! The key is to find a good therapist that can effectively take you thru CBT to heal the subconscious and conscious minds and behaviors in the present!! Thank you do much Dr Judy!!🌺😊