The Fear Of Never Seeing Your Ex Again
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- Опубліковано 15 жов 2024
- The fear of never seeing your ex again. Are you afraid you'll never see your ex again? It's a very real fear as it is possible. But what if you do see them again, will you be ready?
Many people that I talk to feel like they will never speak to their significant other ever again (I've definitely been there myself), you're scared that the last time they spoke together was the last contact with an ex that has now moved on and doesn’t care about them.
In the overwhelming majority of cases, that isn't what happens! Your ex does care, and your former partner is attached to you, and eventually they often look for reasons to reach out (the indirect/direct approach)
Part of how I can help you is with a plan (going over scenarios) and help you re-attract them and plan ways so that you don't lose emotional self control.
The workbooks are absolutely incredible. II can tell you put a ton of work into them. Honestly, this is far better than any of those crappy 47 dollar guides!!! Thank you Craig!!!!
Working on yourself is the best cure for a heart that is breaking. Put yourself first always and the rest of your relationships will fall nicely in place. Stay strong and respect yourself and love yourself.
@Holly so if he doesn’t come back, is there a chance I will talk to him again in the future?
@@yswen828 Always a chance but dont expect it
Thank you so much for your channel. I am currently 2 months into a breakup from a 5 yr relationship. I have learned so much about relationship attachment styles.
I started listening to your channel during the day as I work because I love my ex, and wanted him back. But I'm beginning to realize, through no contact, I understand myself more. I love myself more. I value myself more.
Thank you for helping me through this painful time in my life!
I will let you know where my journey goes... You have helped me see through the tears and pain.
Denise Shell Any updates on you and your ex?
Read your story , and totally in same , but as you say having to contact help me realize hey I am a great woman and if you don't take your blessing someone else will take it , his loss and not mine ... Blessing hope you are doing much better .
@@sunshinejay3973 We haven't seen each other or spoke to each other since the breakup. The toxic has been removed from my life. I do not miss the drama and anxiety. Peace has come back in to my life. I am more aware of personality styles now.
@@NiseyLou Update?
@@colepratt7538 I am happy in my life. I do not miss him at all anymore. No contact left him in the past. I continued forward. I have learned to do what makes me happy. When I am truly happy, everything/everyone else is a blessing. If they throw off my happiness and contentment, they do not belong in my life.
I have been in a new relationship for 5 months now. He is kind to me. We are happy when we are together. I do not fear him. We give each other space. Alone time is so good for the soul.
My ex is who he is, I'm sure his current girlfriend, and any future girlfriends will go through hell. Chaos.
Yes, my ex and I have no reason to ever run into each other or see each other. I try not to focus on that. I’m just taking it one day at a time- this is an endurance race, not a sprint. I panic less about not seeing him ever again if I think whatever will be, will be and remind myself everything is always working out for me. Keep the faith, everyone 💗
Stacey Swope Hi Stacey. You seem to be very quite active on here amongst the comment section of Coach Craig’s videos.
My situation...
Me and my ex gf met here at UNM - University of New Mexico which is here in Albuquerque, NM and also where I’m originally from. She’s from the Bay Area in California. She started attending UNM here in 2016. I wasn’t studying there, but I did work on campus and so I meet a lot of the students there. I won’t go into details so long story short we started dating since October 15 2017. That was the day we became exclusive and official. As of late on June 7th 2018 she broke up with me while she was back in California for the summer break. We stayed in touch almost everyday and talked on the phone twice a week.
Anyways on June 7th was when she broke it off with me. I learned that she didn’t come back to NM for the Fall/Winter term of college. I assume it had to do with not retaining her GPA to keep her scholarship. It’s been 3 months and 17 days. Today makes 18 that I haven’t heard from her since the breakup. I’m also blocked by her on all of social media ☹️😢. I also feel like she is an “avoidant” type. It’s still been very hard for me as October is literally around the corner again. This October was suppose to be our 1 year anniversary together.
A little bit of extra info is this isn’t my very first serious relationship as I’ve been in several and she isn’t my longest either, but she seems to be the one I have truly fallen in love with. She was 19 and I was 28 when we met. She is now 20 since her birthday recently passed on August 26th 2018. I’m also now 29 since mine was on February 17, 2018. I look a lot younger for my age hence is probably why a lot of the students on campus always flirted or hit on me lol.
Any thoughts? Also if you don’t mind me asking, but has there been any updates on your situation lately?
P.S - I’m trying to involve myself a bit more in the comments section of Coach Craig’s videos and make some friends. Thanks.
Julius Guiang hey man any updates?
Update?
Unfortunately- sometimes they don’t come back. Work on yourself and keep moving forward. I’ll never see my ex again and I’ve accepted that, finally after a few years. It was extremely painful for a very long time. I don’t think I’ll ever be fully over it, but it’s ok. All I can do is wish him the best and I do hope he’s happy in life. I hope he wishes that for me too.
I agree with you about the pain of a breakup can be much worse than the loss of a parent. My ex recently leaving me hurts more than when my dad died in 2011. It really does and it makes me feel guilty and feel like a selfish piece of garbage but I just can't help it! I'm so glad to know that it's not just me, that I'm not the only one Craig Kenneth! Thank you so much for choosing to share such a deep, personal experience with all of your subscribers. BTW, your channel is amazing and I'm extremely grateful for it. Thank you sir! May God bless you and your's and have a blessed day kind sir!
i wonder if it's because when somebody dies, deep down you know there was nothing you could've done to prevent it, but when an ex leaves it feels 100% your fault and hurts more because it feels like you could've done something to make them stay?
Feelings change like the clouds that move around the sky....
I heard that line in a movie.
These clouds are Jupiter clouds. Billion year old hurricane.
I think losing your ex from a breakup is more painful than losing your mom when dying bc your ex is choosing it, whereas your mom didnt choose to die just to get away from you! Especially hard when you know you could just easily talk it out, the problems seem small to you but not to them, and they refuse to try. The huge difference in the amount of caring they seem to of had/have for you now.
I didn't feel physical pain but I couldn't breathe properly for a few minutes after my ex ghosted me. I almost passed out.
Relatable, it's crazy.
Update?
Did your ex reaching out after ghosting?
Same. You can’t breath lol.
Felt like I was stabbed in the stomach and heart, couldn’t breathe
Never see your ex drunk, people- than everything you learned goes out the window. Bye, bye emotional self-control. So regretting those drinks!!
Ut oh Stacey!!
Stacey S I’ve quit drinking 2 months sober today ! I’m enjoying my sober life , I’ve become more active in the gym and with friends . My ex is still with this obese guy since our break up 4 months ago . 🤷♂️ I’ve been on dates but haven’t found someone that WoWs me yet . I still have feelings for my ex . I don’t reach out or initiate contact . She messages me once a week usually , and if I don’t respond ASAP she blocks me 🤷♂️
That is a really GREAT advice! I totally agree!
My wife of 23 years left me 4 months ago. I love her deeply and we had 4 kids together. The thought we will never be together again really hurts, I know i will see her for the rest of my life with kids weddings births etc and that for me is more scary then been able to let go and never think about her again
any updates?
If you feel sorry for yourself and take no action you won't improve. Channel your hurt and take action. Become the best version of yourself and you'll eventually attract your ex back if they contact you and see you're doing great and making progress or you'll attract the attention of someone better. Realize the mistakes you made with this person and make a vow to change yourself for the better. Either way your going to be a better person and eventually attract and keep someone worth your time, love and devotion.
Once I get back from my Orlando trip I'm definitely buying these books. It's an offer I cannot pass up
Please share your experience with them and how they help you!
After 2 years in, I think 2/3 of your views must be from me 😂😂 You're brilliant Craig and to the most anxious ones on here: I've seen my ex a few times after he reached out.. but fighting through no contact again as he just went cold turkey again 🦃 😖
All the best 💗
My ex broke up with me about 4 months ago and it caused me so much pain. I did everything right, no contact, worked on myself and everything. A few weeks ago he liked my picture and I decided to contact him. We caught up and talked about our lives and it was great. Now we have contact once a while and we are friendly. But for some reason the pain is even worse and I miss him so much. Every day that passes makes me miserable and I don’t know what to do.
How are you now?
Update?
@@jessepushor9967 it’s been a while now (i think we have been broken up for 2 years now). Since then quite a lot has happened. I got into a new relationship with someone else but that didn’t end up lasting either. After that I shortly reconnected with my ex that this post was about, but we decided that it was better if we didnt’t get back together. That was 8 months ago. I was very sad and heartbroken, but I moved on. A few weeks ago I met a lovely person and we are dating now and I am very happy :) I know that this post is probably not what you are looking for. I’ve been in your position (twice now) and I know you want to hear about people who got their ex back and how they did it. I’m sorry to say that I can’t help you with that. But what I can do is tell you that things will get better eventually. Whether you get back with your ex, find someone new or stay single and find yourself. The pain that you are feeling is temporary and I know you may not believe me now, but you will find happiness again. I hope my story was of any help to you!
@@mermaiddaughter5886 thank you very much that made me think differently of everything take care best of luck to tou
@@mermaiddaughter5886 This was helpful. You seemed to have gotten a chance at communication and finding out that it was best to move on. That to me is a success. I mostly regret how my relationship ended. My ex and I didn't see each other for about a month and then when I did contact them my anxiety led the conversation and my ex ended up breaking up with me over the phone. After this my ex did not answer anymore of my reach outs. Nothing we said was hurtful, they just said that they needed space, but again my anxiety got the best of me and I did a bit of begging not to treat me like that ( meaning cant we meet once in person to say goodbye- that was a no). This is what hurt the most, especially since I gave my ex my vCard (in my thirties). it is a huge deal to me because it was about trust, now its broken. It is a strong attachment that is hard to let go...but hopefully it will get even better soon. I do hope I get a second chance at some type of communication, maybe it's just closure i'm seeking, not sure. :) but glad that you are dating someone new and are happier. :D
I always hear that exes reach back out, but I have only had that experience once. My last ex had had me blocked for around 6 months, and I feel so disliked and hated (even though I didn't do anything wrong). I can't imagine that my ex will ever want to reach out again - even just to talk.
Update?
I hope you're doing good now! :)
Ive had them reach out, but never seriously to get back together. Some of them that I knew I couldn't be with, i wouldn't mind being friends with, but they've tended to "fade away" seeing me less and less, its sad and dissapointing and unnecessary, but I cant force feelings onto them. I just hope they're doing ok.
I'm a girl and I was so so neglected by my ex I broke it off with him and blocked him (he said he didn't want to break up but didn't do much)...I'll never speak to him again..he had his shot and blew it. I hate him now. It's been 1 year.
Did she ever reach back out?
While reading some comments, I really want to meet you guys. Spend sometime and talk to each and everyone of you. Almost a moth of no contact. Still striving for my greatness and be the best of me.
John your not the only one. I'm on the same struggle
I’ve thought the same
A surviving companion group 🤗
My insta I’d-Grjabalpuriya
Of course id want to talk to those who went through trying everything to get their ex back
I know right, its been a year since u post this i hope everything is doing well with you.
I think all dumpees will agree the pain is intense and it’s ok. We need to go through the depression - I think it’s that utter loss of thinking we won’t get the connection we need. My pain went from physical pain of that feeling sick to my stomach and stomach cramps and then lying in bed each morning crying I think I had such a supportive boss getting to work so late getting to work parking lot and actually sitting in the car and crying it out.
I think it’s true if we suffered it from childhood we thought now we could heal from having that connection via our romantic partner. And then they leave and as Craig says we reliving this pain as to now what?
As for death Iv always wondered - I don’t have late immediate family members but I would almost guess that death of an immediate family member / friend was out of their control - they still wanted to be with you.
But when you get left or walked away from, this person is still alive out there in the world and they still chose it. Anyways that’s my stab at a guess as to why it may hurt more. With death we have closure - with being dumped, we don’t have any closure especially if we were ‘blindsided’ in the process 😔
I said above it’s ok we have to go through and experience it - i can say to you you feel people tell you it will get better but you think where is the light of this never ending long tunnel? However; it does get better. I can’t say how long it takes - but I had a long relationship with children. It’s two years for me and I only started to feel somewhat better about 6months ago. Whether it’s the talking, the actual moping and grieving or even constant listening to videos on UA-cam. All these help to sooth the depths of the pain we in.
Mostly we find soothing from connecting and feeling and hearing about the other dumpees pain. In essence the coaches and all the people’s emails and comments validate that it’s ok to feel hurt, so confused, lost and not knowing whether life will ever be normal again. Once we get that feeling of understanding that are aren’t alone in all of this we are then fueled by our motivation and desire to work on ourselves which also helps us to stop putting our ex’s on pedestals and love ourselves more. As we start to do that the feelings of self worth and knowing we were committed and willing to fight for the relationship makes us value us more - and seeing other people out there share the same views as yourself is such a healing process in and of itself.
Best to everyone and make the best of your journey .... as you start to navigate you will figure yourself out and how to love life, whether you with someone or not. And that’s really what it is all about, isn’t it?
Well said my man. We are all going through the same thing. I come here daily to sooth myself, specially by reading the comment section. It is been almost 2 months and the pain is subsiding a bit. I'm still a mess but able to control my emotions better. Trying to love myself more and improving as a person. I needed that. I see the positive side of the breakup now. I will start meditation tonight. Ive been watching Dr Joe Dispenza on how to rewire and fire positive thinking, changing thoughts tht lead to different experiences that produce different emotions. That has helped a lot. She is hurt specially now after I started (very late after 6 weeks of the B-day) the NC. She is daily posting love/hurt, breakup posts on social media. Before the NC she never did that, she was "free and alive" :). But I'm facing this as if we will never get back together again which is a possibility so that if this wont happen I will be ok. If she comes back MAYBE we can work things out. I have a feeling that by then I will be in a different stage mentally and will see her differently.
@@gem3530 This is great Gem...I thought you were a guy. :) I can not imagine what you went through having kids etc...that must have been tough. My God. To answer your question. We dated for almost 3 years. The last 6 months things started to go south. All my fault, ok. Started to get negative about everything due to money issues and work. Also I'm foreign here and been living overseas for the past 15 years. So I miss family. Looking back I knew that at some point I'd have to go back and this prevented me from giving all of myself to her. I did not want to hurt her or myself. We had these conversations before about me at some point leaving cause of mom. At one point she was willing to go back to my country with me and I was happy about that. But then she started her business here and that thought died. She started to lose a bit of attraction for me. She told me that. I stated to lose confidence in myself. We lived together 1 1/2 year until last Feb. After I moved back to my Apt she said she did not miss me there in her apt. I said the same, cause the apt was small and the physical space was suffocating us both. We were still together but seeing each other not so often. Our pics were still in the IG. Then last may she went to Thailand with a friend. The night before the flight she texted me saying "i want to sleep with you so much before the flight"....we didn't cause I was doing something else....stupid me. I noticed she did not text me often when there in Thailand. One day I asked if she wished I was there w her? She said no at that moment because she knew I was being to negative. Then I got jealous and told her..when you are back we need to finish this relationship. 30 minutes later she deleted all our pics on IG. I got desperate and try to "cancel" the breakup...so stupid...anxiety kicked in...The night she came back I went to her place and we talked a bit. She was receptive and all I even gave a kiss good bye. But then she texted me on the same night saying she had slept with a guy right after our breakup message. She is honest and needed to tell me that. She said she did that to make her forget about me. Anyway, that was May 25th....I begged, sent her flowers 3 times with letters which she said she loved...she loved the letters. I explained to her our entire relationship and she asked for time. A few months..."give some time, I'm confused". Instead of me giving her space I made even more mistakes. I went to the gym where she works out which is far from my place to "work out". I actually think she liked that. She has a big heart she told that is why she didn't care I showed up in the gym. Next mistake; on a beautiful Sunday she posted on IG stories she was at a park near me. What did I do? guess..... yes, not only I showed my stupid face in the park but the group she was with was going to go to a club at night and I said I would go as well......THAT WAS THE NAIL.... She instantly blocked me everywhere...until that desperate appearance at the park she was watching all my stories on IG, commenting and liking them, which shows lots of interest...I shot myself in the foot with that insane move. Anyway, after that I sent her one last letter on July 7th and she unblocked on whatsapp only. I begged for one last meeting and she said yes but in the last minute she canceled. I then after 7 weeks of begging decided to go NC. It's been what 15 days of NC and she is starting to feel the NC. How I know? I created a fake IG and follow her activity. She is posting breakup/love/hurt/feelings post and likes everyday the past 2 weeks. As I'm typing this she posted a pic with her brother saying "only my brother can help me right now..I'm confused and can't see it clearly anymore"....SO NC is working well. Sorry for the long reply but to answer you , technically I did the breakup but now I'm the dumpee.
"As for death Iv always wondered - I don’t have late immediate family members but I would almost guess that death of an immediate family member / friend was out of their control - they still wanted to be with you.
But when you get left or walked away from, this person is still alive out there in the world and they still chose it. Anyways that’s my stab at a guess as to why it may hurt more. With death we have closure - with being dumped, we don’t have any closure especially if we were ‘blindsided’ in the process,"
100000%
It's a major fear so much I try not to think about it. Oh I understand that hole,two weeks ago when he said out of nowhere we're friends forever ,that night I went to sleep I felt like I had a gash on my left side,wide open,then worse I had a horrible nightmare,and since then more than ever I'm always awoken with the dreaded is he gone for good,does he hate me,why was the last two messages I sent still on delivered for almost a week? It's all so unbearable!! I wonder how they can make a pill for everything but one for heartbreak 💔,thanks Craig for a great , compassionate channel
I dont know whether my ex will come back or not. I messed up but she also had her responsabilities. But bottom line is, everything happening in life will help to understand things better.
You are an expert. I found out that I have anxious attachment style and my ex is avoidant. so hard.
My ex moved on 2 months after our breakup. We’ve been broken up 4 months we were together 2 years. Couple weeks ago..he posted on fb that “she said yes.” Followed with a picture of her ring on her hand. They are engaged after 2 months. I’m devestated. Been in NC for 70 days. It hurts so bad. He said he was going to marry me and I’m the only one for him. She’s a very toxic human being. She has 4 batteries. 2 from this year!! Her last ex she beat up and hit him over the head with her E Cigarette. She was arrested. She’s a bad alcoholic. But so is my ex bf. I can just say it feels like he chopped up my heart and stuffed it down my throat.
how are you doing?
Alex Ruiz Ugh..I’m ok I guess. Trying to stay consistently busy!! Start school soon and part time job helps. But he still consumes my thoughts. I never loved someone the way I loved him. He made me fall hard. I miss all the good times. I wish he was thinking of me. But he has his “fiancé” now. I can’t do much. I have been NC for over 90 days. It just always makes me wonder if he ever wants to reach out to me.
@@sarahboyd7754 I understand how you feel, but have you been thinkin about the bad side about him? like the bad things he did?
I was reading about something the other day, about how the universe/God take people or take us from situations in order to protect us from a greater pain.
I know is very very very hard to make our heart understand that but it kinda make sense...
Alex Ruiz oh yes and he’s done a lot wrong hun. Also, continues to still do wrong in his life. His old boss/roommate contacted me the other day via Facebook (this is the guy who assisted my ex in leaving me and my ex moved in with him right after he left me) and said that he should have listened to me about my ex. He wants him out of his house and said he’s the biggest loser he’s ever met. I knew it was only a matter of time before he got fed up with my ex. So this guy, my ex, my exes fiancé, had a huge blowout the other night apparently. So his life is falling apart as we speak. He doesn’t even have a vehicle right now. They have nowhere to go once they leave this guys house. So I see all this as karma. I hope he’s regretting everything he did to me. He had a beautiful home, a truck, a cell phone, never had to pay for food, and I floated him so much!! Thank you for asking how I’m doing luv, you are so sweet!!
Sarah Boyd you are a beautiful soul, and i know the intrusive thoughts are always there and your brain knows he wasn’t right for you, now with time your heart will understand it too.
Im having a hard time to let go hope but im trying.
Every day is a battle we are winning, keep working on you because you are doing great! You really seem like a good person that deserves waaaay better!
It really is horrible - this breakup been 9 months now and I have chAnged. I think i messed up my only chance of getting back together after he reached out in March . , i backed off so he can take care of what he needs to plus my anxiety took over thinking him wanting to work it out is just bs ...
nicole browne 😍
Hi nicole brown wow your a very beautiful women wish I was your guy would treat you so good
I haven't seen the love of my life for almost 8 years... he got married 4 years ago and we live in different countries, very far away from each other... I see him online sometimes, because he plays the guitar in a church and they stream the services, I see him with his wife and his family on instagram, always displaying their best life, as we all do on social media... I wonder if someone can understand this pain... you kinda get use to it, though, like when a loved one dies, but the pain is always there somehow... that's so crazy...
I can't calm down. I'm losing hope. He no longer has Instagram and the only reason he downloaded it the very first time was to chat me up. Three years later long distance, four years of knowing each other and he broke it off because he's depressed during this difficult time. I'm being pushed away. 2nd break 5 months of no contact. I feel like dying all over again..... Everyday I daydream of being on my deathbed n that's the only time he might ever want to reach out. Haven't stop crying because my anxiety was triggered once again..... How can I reattract long distance ex if he doesn't use any of social media whatsoever.....
I understand her and myself more due to a breakup and that is a good thing. But what did it cost? Everything.
Update?
I have been broken up for five months now, and I really did fear that I would never see my old girlfriend again, someone whom I had planned to marry. After four years together she left me for someone eose. I also feared that I would never hear from her parents either, with whom I had a good friendship. Thankfully they seem to like me and I have seen several times. I work at the university the same place as my ex and so I see her all the time walking around but she doesn't really want to see me. I do talk to her upon occasion but she's really awkward, and she does sometimes text me. But overall she wants nothing to do with me.
How did things work out ?
Update?
If feelings come and go like clouds. Why should we ever be in a serious relatiship ship, let alone get married
Yep, how quickly something so good gets torn down for momentary feelings.
What exactly are the workbooks? Like things we actually write down or just videos that are in addition to what he has posted to UA-cam? I am kinda poor and trying to decide if these workbooks are worth it as opposed to just saving the money for actual personal counseling with a therapist.
My ex broke up with me. Said 'we are so different' though nothing came up in our relationship that indicates that.
She's avoidant. I'm secure with some anxious
I went no contact and she said to me 'ill give you space and you can reach out when YOUR ready'.
Weird?
2 mths later I did. She was friend zoning me but I didn't realise that at the time. I realised that when she told me she's dating.
I walked.
No contact.
2 mths later she dropped something off on the same day she posted a pic of her and some guy.
I was mad. Told her she's not welcome to drop anything off again.
I wrote a letter, explaining her avoidant attachment style, that I can't be friends and would reconnect with her after she gets counselling for her trauma, that is quite sad.
Nothing in 6 months. I think she's moved on.
I'll keep working on myself and that's all I can do.
Stay strong. What you're going through is really tough but you will be happy again after a while. Time is a healer. All the best!
@@reeves326 thank you.
I don't know what to believe anymore.
Craig and Margaret are great, but there is so much stuff out there saying how no contact is detrimental.
Anyways ..I'm moving on best I can. Hard when you feel you met the love of your life.
@@craigmerrila7767 It really is hard. I have delayed the inevitable by 8 months by trying to stay friends with my ex who I still love. Now we are both finally doing no contact which is tough but necessary for both of us to move on. Good luck!
Hey Craig, I think no contact pushes Fa's away for good. I am in a similar situation. Did she ever reach out? Update on things please
Coach Craig I really, really need to talk with you. I'm suffering beyond belief, my situation is abysmal, and I love this girl more than you could possibly imagine. Absolutely completely irreplaceable. To me, the most perfect girl in the world and I'll do anything for even a fraction of a chance.
I deliver pizza and I don't make much, it's really really hard to save for the Skype thing, but I'm trying my best and I hope I can make enough ASAP. Should be by next Thursday.
Last time I saw her was at the airport. She flew away to her home country and it was the worst feeling imaginable. Like losing a child.
I pray to god every night that I see her again, together or not.
I can't wait to talk with you, and I'm almost sure you'll tell me it's hopeless but I'll do anything for a shred of a chance.
You ok?
How are you doing now?:)
Update
Harsh reality. My struggle is for real. Hopefully i overcome this..
Same here😭😭
My ex and I broke up three and a half months ago. I’ve had to contact him via stuff because I needed somethings back and also we were in an incident where a gun was pointed at us and there was a possibility of me needed to testify in court with him. We broke up because he said he didn’t see me as a future wife anymore and he wasn’t sure if he ever wanted to get married. I’ve been good at no contact and if contact has been necessary it’s been professional ( no begging pleading or any emotion shown) but I feel like my case is the exception... it seems like he’s never going to contact me because well he never wants marriage... how do I deal with losing him? He’s avoidant and it doesn’t seem like he misses me at all. We were together 3 years but I feel like I meant nothing. Any suggestions?
Quirky & Caffeinated ... Dating an Avoidant is extremely challenging to the point when most people won’t. Craig has a couple of good videos on Avoidants.
There is little scope for negotiation, they make unilateral instant decisions. We had a lovely holiday, night flight back, we woke up late and she said our partnership was finished, and I had to take my things back to my place. I went NC for a month and she asked for a meeting. She proposed LDR, I weakly agreed! It worked for 6 months and then she dumped me savagely by txt. 100% NC (radio silence) is the only option. To get them back they have to miss you, for this, they have to know they have lost you (and you them).
The new view is - if they reach out & come back then you win. If they don’t then you win- because you don’t waste time on someone who doesn’t want you.
Any update? Did he reached out?
Marry me then, I wanted to Marry my ex but she did the same as yours.
😂
I love your videos you are really changing my life is it possible to do one on long distant relationships
In my experience long distance rarely works because attraction is built mostly in person. Best of luck!
Brandon Martin i figure that thanks for helping me
I still feel like you did Coach. Dead inside. I have to wonder if our last call is the final one.
Ces how are you doing now? Hope you’re ok.
I feel like I should be over it completely but it still comes up every once in a while after 3 years.
Honestly, having any want for her makes me feel weak due to how I was treated.
Please don’t feel weak or beat yourself up! Sending you support through this.
I wonder why my ex is not getting his things in our apartment, it's been more than a month since we broke up. I also stop reaching him out.. I want him to get his things so i can move on but i don't wanna text him.. He left me hanging after our 5 years in relationship.. 😢
Mine waited 2 months to get her stuff. I finally had to tell her to get the rest. I also told her I wasn't wanting the breakup. She slammed me.
Updates??
I would never break up with you
I know I will never see my ex again. I had a rebound relationship and he got jealous and said he would never forgive me. Do not come crawling back to him. It's been 6 months since we broke up. I don't even wanna get back with him. I have moved on but I still miss him sometimes and think about him.❤
The workbooks are actually challenging as you say they are.
kennethh_c agreed! This is tough stuff!
My ex (childs dad)came back but it seems still doesn’t want to commit and would rather just “use” me. I made mistake and started to have sex then stopped. He caused me so much pain and heartache. I can’t let myself have sex with him again without a good commitment. It’s so hard though, my flesh is so weak but my mind is telling me it’s just going to lead to another heartbreak and him leaving me again.
I have a rather unique situation my wife and I have been together for 16 years and she recently ask to separate qe have 2 kids and unfortunately aren't in a financial situation that allows us to move on our own so we are stuck under the same roof for some time and she pretty much immediately started seeing someone else. I already commited all the classic mistakes and just recently found your channel. I'm at a lost as to where to even start to get her back.
If that person lives in other country is just like hopeless even thou my partner never say he does not want to see me, I just feel is impossible
I was in a 5 and a half year relationship, my ex just broke up with me 6 weeks ago, so maybe she’ll turn around like what Craig just said. Because she told me we’re done (which broke my heart) and I got mad at little things.
Did your ex ever reach out to you???
@@archangelelmo Only after the first three months after the breakup and that was it. I don’t really care anymore. However, I miss the sex and think about it. I used to have sex dreams about us every night, (they lasted for about a month) but not anymore.
Hey! Craig, how long did it take you to get over your breakup? I'm having a hard time getting over my heartbreak! I'm saving money for a Skype session with you.
can you please share about Long distance breakups during a pandemic like mine? it's a 3 years relationship and I broke no contact yesterday and he said he doesn't think it's a good idea to talk. I have confirmed the break up. please help. utterly shattered....
what hope could there be as there's chance to rekindle given the situation and no connections between us as of now? deleted and unfollowed everything. please help
Im in the same boat...
So would this be something that the dumper could potentially feel? I would really like to hear more on the dumpers experience when it comes to attachment.
I only felt heartbreak when my first marriage dissolved over 25 years ago. I never saw him again❤
I just watch these videos for comfort i broke his windshield. He called me a 150 times a week ago..we tried one hang out but I started crying so he left ...what a mess..life feels flat but I couldn't take him accusing me of cheating and demanding sex and not living together..I just started my own business and im so afraid that is crumble too. I chose the business over him...I realize now he didn't say I would not make it...he said get uour own salon chair and see how it is..I have a lot of foggy lenses I see through. I should get the work books
I don’t even wanna see him
Unless if we can have a healthy reconciliation
Craig would you say that it is rather possible that a woman comes back than a man? i think women tend to be more emotional and think more of the past than men do, but i could be totally wrong here.
I've heard that if a woman breaks up, she's less likely to reconnect than a man. I wonder if that's true?
Cat, as a woman, would you go back to someone you dumped, if he was kind and fun?
In this generation for older relationships and with younger men is the gap ! No experience!
Im gonna order the workbooks tomorrow. Its been 7 weeks since my breakup. I have thrown myself into work, keeping really busy and thought I was doing better. But today was so awful. Felt like day 1 again. I feel like i have regressed emotionally all of a sudden. Is this normal? Hoping the workbooks help my focus.
I too have been broken up for 7 weeks, thought I was doing OK, but this morning in the car on the way to work, I crumbled. I'm feeling your pain!
Joanie Hays im sorry. Seems like its getting harder instead of easier 😭
My ex was the one with the issues in our relationship. He had a social media addiction. Wanted attention from random unknown females. Yet, instead of addressing it he turned it back on me, stating that I was the addict! Then he broke up with me. You always assume the dumpee was in the wrong in the relationship, but in my case that’s not it at all. We should all be doing self work. I was single for three years before I met my ex. In therapy and working on myself. Yet, still picked the wrong guy apparently.
Not seeing the kids is brutal.
Me and my ex are in our last year of school and I'm scared l never see her again because I don't know where she lives and I'm not friends with any of her friends and shes ignoring me. Help me. Please
Thank you pass the three months After six months we broke up I’m confused I was introduced to family relative children and then conversation I don’t want to hurt you I know I hurt you I am listed but I didn’t so now I’m doing me back to the chiropractors back to my gardening in my yard work and I am doing much better and I appreciate your coach Margaret happy Father’s Day
I'll never see her again. It's been over a year and she's still with the person she left me for.
how long were you together?
@@mura0 We were together just under a year and a half.
@@buchanan012 that not a short period. That is what I'm afraid of. They call it rebound but if sticks is over.
@@mura0 Craig originally gave me a plan to follow, saying he'd be surprised if she didn't come back around after 6-8 months. that time has passed. I think it's time I give up any hope I have left.
people tell me she's a narcissist, that she's going to have the same problems she had with me, that she isn't likely to work on herself. it's becoming more and more clear that I was the problem all along.
@@buchanan012 i feel deeply sorry for you man. I feel your pain right now. I'm here in my room just thinking of her. Push through and work on yourself. There is nothing we can do. My ex is feeling NOW the breakup. Up until now I was the only one feeling it. Ive been on NC for 15 days but we brokeup 2 months ago. She posted today a pic with her brother saying that he is helping her cause shes is lost and confused not seeing clearly things. I'm happy and sad about that. Happy cause I know she is still thinking about me but sad cause I don't want her to feel this way. Why were you the problem if she is a narcissist?
Craig can you do a vid on male vs female narcissist
Does No Contact work for the breakup if we broke up because she went to another country? We're both young and still have our lives to figure out, we loved each other but decided that we're too young for long distance relationship and as I said we don't have our lives figured out. I would love to get coaching from you but I just don't have money for it...
Gapping hole in my chest, yep I'm feeling it bro
My ex and I spoke everyday after the break up
I told her I didn't wanna be friends
She did a lot or things that turned me on flirting acting sweet
Yet she went with someone else even tho I said I knew she liked someone else .
Lol
I would never say this to them as it's none of my business
After a 2.5 year relationship
And 2.4 months after they went with someone else
Can you do a video I found out was his rebound. I had no clue I was the rebound. What advice will you offer
Unfortunately as I believe as a rebound your relationship is likely to have been brief and no more. Stay solid. Stay true. And maybe you might show that there is more to what you shared.
I think I was my ex's rebound! We dated over a year, but she didn't attach I think.
Can a relationship resume if now both parties live in different continents? It seems like I've missed the boat when he was still in my country. He took a new job so far away. Will I ever see him again?
Well for starters, they are not contacting me! Good sign maybe!
I dont think shes coming back...she told me she slept with someone just to make sure id go away because she thought i wouldnt want to be with her if she did and then later told me she lied about sleeping with him because of that reason, so she slept with him just because? And then told me to have a good life and nothing she did was to hurt me...welp in hurt real bad! We where together for just over 3 years and built up a life from nothing being in a ghetto apartment sleeping on a blow up mattress to owning a home and having everything we wanted.
Update if possible?
@@jessepushor9967 She came back 2 months later but all i will sat is becareful what you wish for man. Some times dead is best.
Yup nail it no more over thinking on ex yupper s heading forward ty😎
Hello! I have a problem and I would appreciate your advice. I think you've already figured out what it's all about. My girlfriend told me she is not sure and that we do not fit it after 3 months of relationship. The last few weeks have been a bit distant and not very close to me, the reason is because I did something I promised I would not do, something intimate. Coming back to breaking up, I told her I love her, I adore her, and I want to make things go, but if she wants to break up, I respect her decision and call me if she changes her mind. What should i do ? i suppose all i have to do is nothing and let her came to me
Exactly brother, women respect a man with confidence and integrity. Chasing her will only make you look weak in her eyes and will kill any attraction. Realize you have something to offer her as well and that if she doesn't appreciate it then she's lost out. Most people in our lives come to us only for a short time to teach us something. If she comes back then she broke it off and she needs to be the one to reach out. She needs to earn you back. I know that's a scary thought but it's the best way forward.
Brandon Martin thank you, sir. Your words give me confidence and power
Quick update. 2 days ago i was in a club and she also was there, we saw eachother and say hi . today she meet with my sister and asked her if i m upsat( i think cuz i didnt speak to her that night ) . What does that means?
Vlad Hagiu she saw you there and knows you saw her. She was probably expecting you to come over and speak to her.In other words she expected you to chase after her like you have in the past. Now she's wondering why your behavior has changed. She called things off so she brought this on herself. If she contacts you I'd trying what i suggested earlier about talking a couple of minutes and then asking when she's free to meet.If she pushes you away tell her that she said you to didn't fit and that if she wasn't interested in being together then your trying to move on with your life and it's not fair to keep contacting you. Then tell her if she changes her mind about the breakup then she knows where to find you. She broke up with you. She's got to earn you back. You've got something to offer her like she does you. She's use to being put on a pedestal. She took herself off so make her earn her place back or your moving on. Good luck brother.
Brandon Martin thank you ,bro. You rly helped me a lot and i cant thank you eneough. Wish you the best
Hi, to all. I am already an year. No contact. No sign she to looking for me again soon. Unfortunatelly I didn't find new girl. To replace ex one. I told her NO CONTACT. SO IF SHE WAITING COUPLE MORE YEARS. There is oportunity to me not still in love into her. Oposite to not want to see he at all. Maybe she exactly want to do I. With other words she will be winner. In this time. Because she is a stubborn lots of.
So i benen doing no contact for 2+ months now. She is sleeping around with my brother's friend..He is totally different from me, a kinda of guy she would never want, why is she doing this? Is it just to hurt me ? Is she desperate to get my attention ? She broke up with me btw. Humans are wierd
Fishplants I don't know your situation, but as a woman, if she's sleeping around, it's to take the edge off on how she feels. She probably feels guilty for dumping you. Just my opinion
mia carr wierd behaviours
Pink Kitty Great insight.
Love is a drug mate. Often sex is confused with true love and affection.
my fuice Did't talk with .. i contact with her sister ... where is she .. her sister said she don't wana talk with you.. i am really scared... plz help
Hey coach! What if your ex gf is talking to someone else currently? I found out she met someone at a concert and ever since the day after the concert that's when she decided to end everything. I had seen her call log and she has been talking to this person since the break up everyday. It's been a month and a half since the break up. She has never contacted me about anything. Its been about 20 days no contact. She did contact me to get off her cellphone family plan but I got to wait 2 weeks and then need her authorization to get off, that means im going to break the no contact bc I have to or else I cant leave the family plan. Any suggestions?
As Craig always says in the beginning of his videos breakups are the result of issues in the relationship. One thing is for sure continuing to chase after her and contact her isn't going to help your situation and will more likely push her further away. Your best option is to realize the mistakes in the relationship and maybe even ask yourself is she really even what you're looking for or are you just fearful of being by yourself! it may very well be that a month or two down the road she and this new guy have a fight or something which pushes her back towards you but if you haven't worked on yourself in the meantime she's only going to realize you haven't changed. Realize your someone with value and that becoming the best version of yourself will only make it more likely that she'll want you back if she decides to reach out. If she doesn't then so be it and perhaps this better version of you will attract the attention of someone new who may be an even better fit than this person was and by becoming a better you that will make it easier to keep this new person interested in you.
Brandon Martin yea that's true. We been together over 4 years, she says that I didnt show her attention or affection. So I cant really show her that if she moved out to her moms house. And she probably has people whispering in her ears too. Idk I havent seen her in a few weeks then I seen her yesterday. We both looked at each other it was awkward and weird, then since yesterday i cant stop thinking of her. Its hard
Jay Santos I understand but chasing her isn't going to make her come back. If she contacts you then assume she wants to meet and ask her out and make definite plans. If she says no then say ok. It was great hearing from you but I've got to go, stay in touch. Then wait on her to respond. If she does again make the same offer and if refused then say your busy but keep in touch and never ask again. Let her bring it up sheet two tries.
Petros Giorgallis I am suffering already haha but what makes it even worse is she lives 2 houses away from me. My situation is like the most random worst thing.
Brandon Martin yea I know I'm not chasing her. I want to messege her about something that reminded me of her but that would break the no contact. I was recently seeing a TV show that we both used to watch and wanted to tell her it reminded me of her and that I missed her. But I dont think that's a good idea.
Anyone able to give advice?
My ex broke up with me and quickly moved into a new relationship, somebody she knew for a while. It's been 3-4 months now since we last seen each other, however our contact has gone to almost nothing! I try to reconnect and she seems to of changed. I have been working on my physical and mental side ever since the breakup, I'm in alot better position now than the very start. She continued asking me for a catch up to always cancel on me. I really don't know what is going on, I continue to do no contact which I'm fine with. Any help?
dave1604f I would stop contacting her and move forward. If she left you, you weren’t supposed to reach out for any reason. Coach Craig always says that your ex’s new relationship needs to run its course. If she’s making plans and canceling I would back away for a while. She’s clearly trying to make sure you’re still hanging around.
If she keeps asking to catch up, she wants to check if you’re still on her. Thats why she keeps canceling because you’re an insurance policy incase this rebound shes in doesn’t work. Stop agreeing to meet up for now and dont contact her. After awhile she’ll see that you aren’t there all the time to hang out and that anxiety should kick in. If that doesn’t work then start re-evaluating if shes really what you want. I know thats the last thing everyone wants to hear especially since its so vague but its true. Remember all the bad times and start to break that rose colored lense you’re looking at her through. Then you’ll realize theres 7 billion people in the world and theres bound to be a better girl than her for you
The Assassin
the last time she cancelled was due to a family bereavement I sent my condolences and told her I'm here if she needed it. I have gone no contact from it however I find it interesting as she appears on my news feed a few times doing the things she wanted to do when we were together with this new guy. I just sit back and laugh at this as she is wanting a reaction. I'm not like other people that are desperate to get back together with their ex. For me right now I'm in a very happy place and continue to evaluate things. No rose tinted lenses on me anymore 😀
I have been in no contact for almost 6months now. I had seen signs of my ex missing me. But no signs of wanting me back. Now finally after graduating he has moved to a new city and seems he has completely moved on.. We were together for 5 years. Should i give up hope?! Plz help. Thankyou💜
Jiya Austen Idk if you’re still active on here but that sounds similar to my situation. Me and my ex gf met here at UNM - University of New Mexico. She’s from the Bay Area in California. She started attending there in 2016. I wasn’t studying there, but I did work on campus and so I meet a lot of the students there. I won’t go into details so long story short we started dating since October 15 2017. That was the day we became exclusive and official. As of late on June 7th 2018 she broke up with me while she was back in California for the summer. We stayed in touch almost everyday and talked on the phone twice a week.
Anyways on June 7th was when she broke it off with me. I learned that she didn’t come back to NM for the Fall/Winter term of college. I assume it had to do with not retaining her GPA to keep her scholarship. It’s been 3 months and 17 days. Today makes 18 that I haven’t heard from her since the breakup. I’m also blocked by her on all of social media ☹️😢. It’s still been very hard for me as October is literally around the corner again. This was suppose to be our 1 year anniversary together.
If you don’t mind me asking, but has there been any updates on your situation lately?
@@ShotoMetsu86 update
Guys c raig, does great wrk, but truth is most ex s stay exes...i hurt saying it myself..5 m nths n not a peep from her, the good news is I'm back out n dating..n realizing life will go on after...fill in her name..
Hoping I never see her again
I wish I’ll her again, I miss her smile
When is it OK to reach out?
If you are the dumpee, NEVER contact the dumper until they contact you first (IG likes, FB likes and FB post don't count as "contact")
This to shall pass
What should you do if you see your ex almost 7 months into NC almost 7 months post breakup?
I feel confused.
Where can i order the book?
www.askcraig.net/workbooks-1/
Please help me I miss my wife so much I love her more than life itself
@@Aya1900-e5p no
I got 3 ttry kinda but she controls txt calls she dont like when she looks loke bad guy
They did you a favor