Major Signs Your Ex Is Hurting
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- Опубліковано 7 кві 2024
- Major signs your ex is hurting. Are you curious to know if your ex is secretly hurting after the breakup? Join Coach Craig Kenneth in this eye-opening video where he reveals the major signs your ex is hurting behind the scenes. From cold behavior to emotional walls, you'll discover the hidden pain your ex might be experiencing. Don't miss out on this insightful analysis and remember to subscribe for more relationship insights!
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I hate when people say "You deserve better". Maybe they could attempt to be better.
Im gonna use this line if my ex ever says that shit again
@@ApostleThe344 1000%! It's total b.s. from them
In the case of this story, it sounds like the (ex) girlfriend does deserve better. Sometimes, it's the only way someone will learn to be a better partner.
For someone else not me
My ex vilified me, made me a monster in her mind just so that she could dump me..
It is what it is. These people will never hurt. They end up hurting others. Over and over again.
Yes mine made me out to be a monster as well...I was told I had anger issues, which NOBODY has ever said to me. Nothing I did was right, even though I did nothing but bend over backwards to try to make this woman feel loved. It was a vicious makeup/breakup cycle. The last one she wanted to try to keep me as a friend, I told her I wasn't interested. That was 6 weeks ago now. I can give a rat's ass if I ever hear from her again honestly.
@@PB-md3nt Similar situation and in my case everyone came back. It's usually her friends and family crossing the line over analyzing and feeding her things that aren't true without seeing your side. I was told I am aggressive and have issues in this break up too when I never even raised my voice, and like your case everyone knows who me told me I am way too gentle and tolerating. Every time I was dumped it turned out some girl friend who's constantly single yet somehow an "expert" in relationships and toxicity sabotaged it. Thing is once they get screwed over or pumped and dumped they realize how stupid they were acting by giving up someone who actually cared and gave them all, but like you said by the time they even think about coming back you'd stopped caring already.
@@ccatfx320 She told me early on she never chases exes. She has reached out to me three seperate occasions when I finally had enough and was the one to walk away.
@@ccatfx320people in general have no idea how special it is to be loved by someone. They think everybody is the same. Yet 95% of the men want 1 thing and drop u after. They will find out the grass isnt greener, give it time
He’s willing to work on himself and the relationship. That’s a major first step and I hope they can make it work. ❤
She's not hiding it she's being completely straight and honest with him
His focus should be on growing and showing her how he’s changing, apologizing for his part and taking 100% ownership and he should not have any question about her motive because she’s been totally honest and transparent. He should be very concerned about hurting her again.
After what she did to me, she better be hurting.
He sounds like he was an emotionally abusive, narcissistic ex and she was trauma bonded. He needs a lot of self work because she deserves way better. He needs to grow into a healthy masculine man first.
As a FA who was the dumpee...I can tell you just because we were abused by our parents and caregivers doesn't mean we dont have love and feelings deep down inside. We just were traumatized uncontrollably in certain ways that caused us to live in survival mode. When we wanted to express our feelings we were taught to stop crying or we'd be given something to really cry about or get beaten. This amongst a handful of other traumas endured by parents and caregivers. We shut down, bottle it up, sweep it under the rug, hold back tears, become numb, hyper independent and overachieving to kill the pain. We are survivors. Anxious see us as cold, soulless and without feelings. Couldn't be further from the truth. Its not narcissism, just absolute fear, anger, fear of abandonment and trauma. CPTSD and PTSD. 😢
Survivors. Whilst killing everyone you come into contact with. Blame everyone else for your trauma and instead of seeking help and putting effort in to improve you just find fault in everyone else and blame them. Survivors fight, not run.
@HazzyP1983 Actually, it was my preoccupied anxious ex who brought most of the childhood trauma into the relationship and then left. I never abandoned him. In the past, I went through years of good therapy. However, in 4 years span I lost my best guy friend to suicide, my best girlfriend to heart attack, my dad to cancer, my mother to cancer, my cat, and my dog to cancer. You have no empathy for humans. I'd seriously look in the mirror. We all deserve some understanding. We can not control who raised us. I don't hold hatred in my heart towards my ex. I forgave him.
Then please, communicate that to your partners while also validating their feelings! It seems FA’s want or need the relationship to revolve around them and the other person is left in 2nd place! The right person will want to hear your woes and want to hear what they can do better for you. Please, speak up ❤
@schylerjohnson9216 I did express and speak up. I think there is a natural affinity to blame everything on FAs when APs are in need of a lot of reassuring, validation, and attention, which is fine, but it can be smothering sometimes. Neither side is perfect, but we carry the brunt of the blame. People think we are stoic monsters with no empathy, sympathy, compassion, and especially feelings. This is just not true.
I'm new here, what's FA and APs?
Notice that the avoidant isn’t feeling much pain. If the avoidant is a woman, you can better well bet she’s ice cold to the core. I’m realizing that I just need to grow up and get the hell over it.
This story sounds like mine. I'm the anxious & he the avoidant. 2 yrs of trying. We get close & he runs. I get upset & fling him mean texts but it's really how I'm feeling since he hurt me. He says he now understands he really is the problem & needs to work on the things that will make us work. I know I have issues I need to work on. I'm cautious tho. I love him & I really hope we can work on each other & with each other.
This guy sounds like me. She was angry and insecure, but a lot of the time that came because of my avoiding behavior. Now I wish I can go back Love her the way she needed it. I miss her so much. I want to change. I miss her son much.
My ex was like him, it was annoying, and tbh I no longer care what she does, I hope she stays out of my life, I got sick of being at fualt. She would never get help or realise she was the problem.
I suggest that you never take your ex back. But his advice is spot on--he is good..
My person has been reaching out, and I know I was part of our problems, but the dynamics are so out of the ordinary. I thought we could rise above but we couldn't.
Coach Craig, Margaret and Victoria… I have no words to express my gratitude for you guys.. I have successfully gotten my ex back and we are better than ever before. I love her with all of my heart and I couldn’t have gotten her back without your guys’ help. Thank you so much❤️
She's in love with him she's giving him an opportunity to communicate and she's testing him by being friends to see where it goes to see if he's changed because she still loves him even though he was a thoughtless non caring person
Nobody that is romantically interested in someone should EVER accept the friends proposition.
Bs @@PB-md3nt
My ex didn't have a job for 2 years and I started yelling at her because of the financial stress it put me under. She got sick of being belittled and left 3 weeks ago. I got into therapy and saw a psychiatrist and found out I have CPTSD, which is where I think my angry outbursts come from. In retrospect I don't care about the money. I would support her always. I hope she reaches out one day. I'm bettering myself in every way I possibly can in the meantime.
Take that as a sign that you guys are not compatible. Instead of making a round leg fit in a square hole, find a square to match!
Incompatible. She needs a calm boyfriend with a provider mindset.
Dawg if you yelling at her because shes a neet for 2 years is the worst thing you did, then you're not as bad as i think you are.
@@cjthemvp123 What's a neet?
@@nofybn7794 not in employment education or training
Coach! Powerful;> back by years of Proven experience. You're the leader! The integrity and advice here is 100%. You are saving us truely A LOT of us!
I know how this woman feels ugh
My ex and I were trying to see if we could rebuild a relationship together, but he did the same thing this guy did, would not communicate but only once a week. I ended it !
1 year no contact I feel great! The first ten months was hell but now I feel good! She still hasn't reach out but her fucking loss haha😂 yesssssss
Dang, this guy's story and breakup sound identical to mine. Down to the T. I made all the mistakes too, pushing her, begging, snooping and validating her decision to leave me. I'm slowly started to accept that it's over and that it's justified on her part and that I'm holding on to something that I mangled and took for granted over so many years. Now I have to focus on me and those habits and personality disorders that caused her so much pain and anxiety. Don't know if she'll ever come back but I have to proceed like she won't and hope for the best. A very painful but necessary learning experience. The pain will force you to grow faster than you would've had she not left. It is true, that leaving them alone and letting them go with another although crushing to the ego, is the best bet for them to return if it ends and for you to make the changes needed for the next time/person.
Thank you so much ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
this guy is like 95% me. my ex would call me in her lunch break and I would turn on flight mode so I could „miss“ her call. I know she had her weaknesses, too, and she could also need some self improvement, but what I did was absolutely wrong. she was my woman, after all. I am clearly the avoidant type and she is anxious. her family means so much to her that she wouldn’t listen to me but when her father said the same thing, she would listen to him.
I’ve been practicing pick up / seduction for ten years and had hundreds of women where my avoidant style of approach has always been the most promising. it would drive them crazy and some of them still text me even though I’ve only met them
once or twice. all that pick up stuff certainly is not right for relationships.
7 months NC and im happy ive moved on with just me. Growing and learning self love after being with a narcissistic for 8 years.
The same things that bothered you about her when you were together will bother you again.
What if the FA doesn't uses social media at all... i've been in no contact since the beginning of the breakup, nearly 2.5 months.
When the guy is angry about something like an SM post, you reach out, and get left on read. After one month I deleted, still not contact at all, almost 2.5 mos. He will travel to US early June. Thus is I don't hear from him by then I consider us over. Been very hurt all winter long, want to reach out, but now I am the avoidant, for fear he would ignore, and or some say as here, just stay strong and work on self. I am but some days I get very down. He is was narcissistic etc., so tring radical acceptance, he has work to do, like the guy here.
Yea I was begging for another chance for so long n was asking for another chance for my baby momma bcuz I pushed her away and wasn’t showing her love, told me “eventually she wanna be with me” and said “just listen and trust the process” so hopefully her telling me those things mean in the future I have a chance to fix my mistakes n be a happy family I always wanted in my life!
Better do all you can to show her you're serious and then keep doing it. My ex kept reaching out saying he didn't want our family torn apart but he never did anything to change his behavior or make up for his past mistakes so there was no reason for me to trust what he said and take him back. Just remember actions speak louder than words
40days no contact,feels getting better and better😂😂😂😂
I’ve been reading a lot about attachment styles and love languages and following accounts that give situational advice to handle scenarios with anxious and fearful avoidants but she was pretty mad last time we talked and said there was no chance and she doesn’t go back to date exes. We were a great couple but she was afraid to tell her family about us so that’s a big red flag and probably going to keep her from coming back despite her spamming me I love yous and I miss yous the day before suddenly breaking up.
How do you do no contact if you still live with your ex? We are both out often. I try not to initiate contact but we still need to communicate until I move which might be a minute as housing is not great for my budget. We still get along very well, calls me his best friend.. I don't want to be friends.
I have a video request, can you make a video of talking about why one might be thinking about an ex years later ? (Even if those thoughts are negative or positive?).
We broke up last March then she told me December that she misses and loves me. I had done so much growing but I still love her so I told her we could meet for coffee or something to talk. Cut to a couple weeks later she tells me shes staying with her mare partner aka the rebound whom she had gotten in a relationship with four months after our breakup. Now im back in nc and haven’t heard a peep. Maybe she’s gone for good?
Coach, What does it mean if my DA ex liked a story I posted (It was a picture of myself) during NO CONTACT? We've been in NC for more than 3 weeks.
On my side, i was in depression, i was negative, gaining weight, performance went down, i neglected her emotionally because I was not in the right environment.. etc... nothing attractive anymore.. she ended up breaking cause she couldnt see me damage my health and not get better.. my highs and lows due to depression...
She ended up finding someone to fill what i couldnt.. it hurts.. but i totally understand her.. i would have left myself..
Id love to get back with her.. but since she moved on so fast , im doubting everything..
I can relate to that. Happened to me as well. It hurts like nothing else. In the past months i worked on myself a lot and it is getting better slowly. Keep moving, get help and work on yourself even if it is tough.
She left me because i wasnt being strong enough, and i was a mess.. which is totally understandable.. so if id get better... and she finds attraction again.. should i consider having a coffee and see if it leads somrwhere or.. move on
I think it really depends on your situation. Your case sounds a bit like mine but we don't know the details. In my case i would not reach out to her because it would hurt me again if she moved on. Even if it was tough i needed the last three months of no contact to heal a bit, starting to work on myself and get better mentally. I still have a long way go but hitting the gym, seeing family, friends and focusing on my job helped a lot. I think it would hurt the progress if i reach out. It is a weak position anyway to reach out after getting dumped and you don't want to be in a weak position. She left you when you were weak. Become strong again!
My ex left me last year, I didn't know why he left me until I found out it was for cheating when I didn't know he was serious about me, I regret the cheating I did, I cheated with his cousin and other guys, when he left out of state, I found out he came back to Los Angeles this year, I go shopping to his job and he told me once that he wants me but that I go with everybody, he also told me he is dating his co worker but I think he told me that because he saw me with a hickey one time, I realize I'm love with him when he broke up with me, he is from India I'm latina
this is literally me and my ex's situation... gosh I wish my ex realized all of this too (my ex is the avoidant)...
Ditto, all of it except that I was the one who broke up with him. He looked devastated when I did which really took me by surprise. I couldn't get him to see me more than once a week and he was real sporadic with communication too so I figured he wasn't really interested in a commited relationship, but he had been the one to pursue me so it was sooo confusing. A few months later after the dust settled I tried to talk to him about it and he said he wasn't closing the door but I should date other people, just like in the story! That hurt me so much. He wasn't afraid to lose me but after I took his suggestion and am seeing someone new he's hurt that I have someone new and is literally writing blues songs about it (he's a musician) 🤯🤯🤯 I really wish he would just pick a lane
I truly thought he was the one. We'd been friends for 4 years before we dated and I chose him because I'd fallen in love with him before we'd ever become romantic. He pursued me for 3 of those 4 years but I was healing and not dating during that time. I still can't wrap my head around what happened and I'm struggling in my new relationship because of it but I'm trying because my new guy is very attentive and understanding and I really do deserve better (as my ex told me 😠)
How can i do no contact when my ex keeps reaching out?
(He's dismissive, and the dumper, I've asked him before to get back together and they said no, idk what to do...)
The fact is somebody is going to come by and look at that cake and go oh damn that's a nice cake look at it Mama I'm taking it obviously the person who had the slice of cake didn't appreciate it
My ex and I have been in no contact and This story is similar to mine but ours was based on priority differences. She has been blocking and unblocking me on facebook. But that's all, she still hasn't reached out, but told me when we broke up that she loves me and always will but she's hurt. What does this mean for me? Should I keep no contact?
She post mixed message that she want to see me but that i have to reach out a day later she posting something negative i dont understand and i reached out for her birthday geuss that was not good?
lol three years after being dumped without closure I wrote a letter and sent it... ended up being blocked lol
I think my ex is dismissive avoidant idk how to handle my social media. Should I post on social media and let him see? Of completely ghost
What's so hard to say to someone who wants a long conversation, sweetheart I don't mean to interrupt you but unfortunately I don't have a lot of time to talk at this moment
Similar situation for me
Hello coach I love her more then 6 months she gives me commitments for marriage we planed to marry so I asked my parents to hold on a girl Is waiting for after one year I will marry her. My parents accept it now she break up with me ghosted on me.she had a lot of boy friends so I fight with her parents they appolagized me for their daughter I told her o will revenge you but I did nothing to her. After a clear slate message iam in a no contact more then 50 days there is any chance for me here In my case .I know she cheated on me
She broke up with me because she told me I was stressing her out too much. I am anxious and she is avoidant, and not too good at communicated. We saw eachother around 2 times per week and I thought this was not too much, but she felt stressed and just wanted to hang out and go party outside. I tried so hard to see her point and be patient, but she kept getting further and further away from me. It's been around a month since the break-up, and I'm trying to convince myself I didn't mean much to her, especially since we were really dating for about 3 months. Is it worth trying to reconcile? I'm currently in a really dark place and trying to build myself, but it's hard.
What if I don’t reach out to the ex and haven't for like 6 months, but the ex reaches out to me once a week? Sometimes I answer sometimes I don't. The last time “three weeks ago" she was a little flirty with me, hugged me tight, touched my butt and was blushing. She doesn’t say too much about us or anything about trying to start over and won't come out and say she misses me but when I bring it up she says well yeah, you were in my life for 12 years. She says she wants to be just friends and she plans to move out of State but when we see each other her actions doesn’t match her words. Her actions show she still has strong feelings, doesn’t want to lose me, flirts with me and doesn’t want to let go, watches my Facebook stories and she says she even stalks my Facebook. But her words are saying she doesn’t want to be in a relationship, she’s wanting to move out of State and she isn’t in love with me anymore. Do I trust her words or her actions? I'm seriously considering blocking her. I'm not sure if that's the wrong thing to do. Please help!
My 2 cents... people need to lose someone completely to understand what they had.
I go shopping were my ex works I try to look my best always around him because that's another strategy of getting an ex back but he only talks to but doesn't igniate getting back together, I only wore the handwritten letter once saying I want to work things but that didn't work like you mentioned, I cheated on him in the past with guys that knew him unfortunately, I watch alot your videos I because I been many times by men, he wants because I'm beautiful and sexy but his ego and pride doesn't let him, men have alot of ego and pride when they drop us, make a video on how to make a man loose his ego and pride
Im a man: cheating especially with people he knows is a death sentence for your realtionship. There is no way he will ever forgive you for it it its literally the worst thing a girl can do
My ex didnt Block ne or unfollowed me anywhere. Thought ita a good Sign but IT dont?
Looks around. Yep she aint hurting and def no longer a def rebound. Oh well imma just do me and become better. Always.
I kept reaching out to chase her away, lol
What if the FA dumper is still cold after almost 2 years? And still hurt/angry about one thing you did after the breakup? I bumped into him on the street for the first time since the breakup.
2 hours??? That's no time at all, right?
@@thecurrentmoment sorry I meant two years 😁
In this story , the man is evil
my girl and i have been together for 2 years i never done her wrong but she had to move out of state to stay with the company and they gave her a big raise but she recently been distant and not talking to me i asked her straight up if she didnt want me anymore and she said she feels bad for saying it but she says she feels like she doesnt love me anymore so i told her to think about it but i left her alone since that text and i started no contact its been 2 weeks so far nothing i know it takes longer but should i just move on? I would like other peoples opinions
She clearly in a another relationship when she moved. Now it’s your time to level up. Gym,school,church etc. When she reaches back out within a year or less you would have made great improvement to really impress her if you decide you want her back.
@@tonywalker2334 thanks for the response
Why will you wait, if someone say to you, they don’t love. There’s a lot of fishes in the sea. May something better awaits you. Tomorrow you will regret why you waited 2 years
@@ifrahabi4834 im not really waiting ima do a courtesy 45 days but in my head im basically done after that
WAIT WAIT IS THIS MY EX?!!??!! Legit that girl sounds like my ex. Broke up 3 weeks ago
I wish I would have found you 5 years ago. Too late now….
You can't have your cake and eat it too and then let the cake sit on the counter for days on in
I have told him to give me space because he said he didn’t want to continue our relationship. He said he understood. But why is he sending me reels everyday. I really don’t understand this behavior. Anyone. I was going to move in with him by end of the year
Its breadcrumbing. Stay no contact.
Yeah he wasn't fully into the relationship he was wishy-washy. And if she talked a lot then he needed to either respect the fact that he could call her and see how she's doing even on a more regular basis and show her respect and then or if she wants to talk for long periods and he can't do that just simply say I'm sorry but I don't have a lot of time where we can talk so can we pick another time to do that you weren't committed.
Theyre not coming back so whats the point of doing that work?
For yourself… That’s part of loving yourself…
@CoachCraigKenneth That's what I'm doing. I just don't see how your workbooks fits in.
My workbooks and Course are for ANYONE who wants to become more confident. They aren’t limited to getting an Ex back. I created something that will help heal attachment issues, or attract anyone (and keep them).
@CoachCraigKenneth Well I am confidence. I know who i'd want to attract. I'm not an attachment style mess. So I don't know how those would be useful. 🤷♂️
@@Zemohcif you are all sorted and can't improve then don't buy the books!
No one is forcing you to - if you don't see any value in them don't buy them
Would've been more insightful to have done a video on the dumpers feelings of hurt rather than the dumpee. It's obvious the dumpee is going to feel hurt because they're the one who has been treated like crap & been broken up with.
Pay closer attention to the end of the email. I discuss it throughout
Did buy your your licence online? Or di you judt call yourself coach etc??
I have a masters degree from University Of Central Florida
@@CoachCraigKenneth Oke, thanks, good to know. I must take you on your word.
It’s been 3 years….she never gave a fuck.
" whenni see him cry....it makes me smile & laugh"