+Artsy Tyger Agree. After I got in shape and grew my hair out longer. He started calling again! Well, you had a chance with me, but you invested nothing in the relationship except for me being a "Booty Call"
Or not. Especially when you have some kind of condition that seriously impairs your ability to judge another person objectively (my best guess is that this affects about 40% of women and 20% of men before any kind of therapy), you may find that there is nothing wrong with them, especially when you work out YOUR issues. If you don't, they may remind you why you left them, but it may still not be their fault. Or, in simpler words: I hate some women for their tendency to end perfectly functional relationships (or other kinds of good long-term commitments), and getting encouraged for it. And I also detest Matthew (for this video, not in general) for being business-oriented and not even mentioning the possibility of you having mental issues that destroy your relationship.
I’m currently in this situation..I took him back a few days ago and well the first few days and even this morning he was being the person I’ve always wanted him to be, until slow he started reminding why I left him in the first place.. I need to learn how to not take him back and how to just stay away from him..but it’s so hard cause you’re just used to talking with that person literally every day and sharing your darkest fears, etc.
I just broke up with the love of my life yesterday, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do because I know I love & care for him, but deep down, I know I deserve more than what I was getting. I think sometimes we all hold on to someone in hoping that things will change & get better, but in the process we loose ourselves & are pushed over the edge until we’ve had enough - especially when the level of effort is not equal. 💔
If you felt like you could have deserved better and if the level of effort isn't equal then it was the right decision to make ❤️ Never let people bring you down xx
I feel you I did the same thing today...we give much more than they deserve which is bad and they take our kindness for weakness so finally they lose us...hope you are feeling better now I dont know when u upload this
@@themandynguyen I, too, broke up with a man (2 years) who had addiction issues. I could not come to terms with inviting this behavior into my future life. I believe there is a high rate of relapse and I won't subject myself to this type of lifelong pain. Like the song says, I was in love with your potential.
Good news though, he wasn’t the love of your life! You will find the love of your life! Cause the next one won’t make the same mistakes the last one did
I've just ended my relationship and I feel like shit. UPDATE - 1.5 years later It was the best decision I made for myself. I've grown soooo much as a person and the relationship really was stunting my growth. TIME, self reflection, Self-love and Self-care is what ultimately healed me.... 🙌🏿❤💫
Just broke up with who I thought was the love of my life. He loved me but disrespected and emotionally abused me at the same time. You should never disrespect someone you love. Love is kindness and patience. Know your worth and know when you deserve better. The right time to break up is when you think you're settling. Never settle when it comes to a life partner. You know you made the right decision when you feel at peace rather than anxious.
Hi, I just broke up with him because I percieved his behavior towards to me as disrespectful. But I feel so sad rn and I cried so much. I can't stop thinking if I just wasn't "too strict" and if what I percieved as disrespect was really a disrespect :( I don't know... On one side he was so sweet, caring, loving, trying to find solutions etc, but when he was pressured he became emotionally unstable and suddenly treating me disrespectfully when questioning me because of rumors one girl did spread about me. Even told me "F*** u" when I broke up with him. I tried to be polite.
"Pain isn't always a sign that we did something wrong. It could just be a sign that this is a period where we need to grow and we need to overcome a few obstacles."
Im right now at this point! I am in so much pain, its almost unbearable! The relatives and friends make it only worse! The mornings are the worse, when you wake up and feel that its real..... he is not there.,the urge to contact him is immense!!!! But I must be strong! How???? Fear, pain, sadness.... i need help did i do the right thing? Am i too fussy?
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if you feel valued and loved in a relationship then ideas about leaving someone should never cross our minds.The fact that such ideas cross our minds means that a break up is necessary.Painful but necessary.
If you ended it, believe in yourself. If you were a responsible partner, you probably agonized over this for quite a while. You considered every possibility, every reason, etc. In the end, you courageously made the move (hopefully in a classy manner). If you go back, you are basically disrespecting yourself. You’re afraid of the consequences of your actions. And you also disrespect the person you dumped.
Dumping someone is not courageous. It's a selfish decision at the end of the day. One person can't decide what's good for both. They are deciding what's best for them and that's all.
@@Jonovision81 One person has the freedom to leave at any given time though. Sure it’s selfish but that’s the given human right they have. I can’t stay in a relationship because he hasn’t granted me permission to breakup or we haven’t agreed upon it lol! If I want out, I’m out. If he wants out, he’s out. That’s the relationship agreement.
And for anyone who wasn't a responsible partner and ended things without thinking things through, it's also for the best that they ended things because they weren't showing up properly for the other person and weren't being a good partner, and their partner deserved better, and they needed time and space to grow and learn.
I noticed that. I tried looking up help for people who broke up with someone and are hurting but everything is geared towards the person that was broken up with.
@maddies2173 i didnt do it because of abuse but fundamental beliefs and it was an impasse. The worst emotional pain ever.. years ago but I still hate it
I feel like absolute trash for doing this to him. I love him dearly and I know he loves me so much, I feel like I added to his stress/pain. I feel like I let him down, but I know we both need to grow and we can’t do it together, we’ll just hinder each other. I know I’m doing the right thing but I’m in so much pain.....Thank you..... I can rest now
i am with you, girl. i feel a tremendous amount of guilt for breaking up with him and causing him more pain than he’s already been feeling. much like your relationship, i needed to end things because i felt that we needed time to grow on our own. i know i did the right thing, but i keep doubting myself. he’s in such a dark place right now. my heart is aching for him because i’ve felt his pain before and i hate that he has to experience that. i only want the best for him; that’s why i’m letting him go. but, it’s so, so hard.
This directly speaks the words from my soul. It's just good to know that someone understands.. that's why I was searching for this topic on UA-cam in the first place. To release this feeling of "you did the worst possible thing". Thanks for sharing.
I feel the same. I send my deepest condolences because I know how hard it is. It’s horrible because I feel like society teaches you that love can overcome all, but what happens when love isn’t enough? The hardest thing you can do is cause pain to someone you love, but honestly sometimes you have to because you yourself should come first. At least that’s the thought I keep running in my head hoping it helps in my situation...
Really needed this message. Letting go of someone you love but that you know is not right for you is one of the hardest things. However being miserable while with that person for the sake of comfort is far worst and just toxic. Moving on is sometimes a blessing in disguise.
Letting go of someone you love and which you know is right for you is also one of the hardest things, however, it was worth it in the end to leave him and thankfully before we were either engaged or married. To my surprise, God led me to a better man - my husband Frank.
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I needed to read this tonight. I genuinely did and finding your message has given me lots of courage. I am exactly going through this.
This helped, thank you. I broke up with him only a day or so ago. He was so sweet to me, and I keep forgetting all of the bad things and only seeing our "highlight reel" so to speak going on and on in my head. I don't know if it was the right call. I keep thinking about all of our inside jokes and I can't even think about how I could have that with someone else. I just feel like I broke my own heart for nothing. But this helped. I need to keep reminding myself that if it's meant to be it'll be, and that I need to do more for myself and take care of myself.
I'm with you on this. I've got so many problems and I believed she'd be better off without me, but now all I can think about how she could have been the one to help me through. But I'm alone now and I have to grow from it. Find the lesson in it all or else it'll all be for nothing.
@@mosesart.47 Hey! So for me, I made this comment months ago, and I was in such a heartbroken and terrible place. I don't know what you're going through exactly, but I can tell you this, it gets so much better. It gets so much easier, and life gets better every day. I know you must be feeling terrible right now, but just take some time to take care of yourself, reach out to friends, and slowly but surely, you'll notice that things will get a little less heavy each day. I am in such a better place than I was 2 months ago when I wrote that comment, and I know you'll be so much better than where you are now in 2 months time. Hang in there. You can and you will get through this.
@@anna-ne9zk hey there! This truly means the world that you would respond. If Im being completely honest I dont share things with anybody in my life cuz it just feels like nobody cares, so I keep things in a lot until I can manage vetter on my own. But having you reach out to me, a complete stranger, has shown me that there are ppl who care and that what I feel matters and that I'll get through this! Thank you so much, you've truly made my week and I hope you've been maintaining in the middle of all this global chaos! Lol take care of yourself and I promise I'll do the same, bud!
@@mosesart.47 That's so kind of you!! I understand how you feel, sometimes it's hard to go about the day to day when you feel alone. I know I'm a total stranger to you, but if you ever need someone to give you some encouragement, never hesitate to reach out to me! Hope you're safe and healthy in this weird and stressful time :)
The number one thing that plagues my thoughts after my break up is simply: "What is reasonable to expect from a relationship, reasonable happiness. Was I setting my expectations too high?"
i have the same fear. He was nice, kind, caring...but i never felt any chemistry. He was attracted to me way more than i was attracted to him which led to my decision to end the relationship. It just didn't feel right. I'll be honest, i do sometimes think that Karma will get back at me...that i'll fall for someone who won't love me the same way...maybe i was selfish for not loving him back the same way. My mother loved him and so did my dad. He seemed perfect for everyone around me ...except for me. The thought of living with him for the rest of my life didn't make me happy, but sad. He was the nice guy, the perfect on paper guy, who did everything right...but for some reason i couldn't love him.
Elena Salvatore I have this lovely guy who loves me. Why don't I want him? I'm afraid I don't know what's right for me, I'm afraid that I might be alone. All of this crowds me & makes me feel indecisive.
rasnabegum2012 I'm sorry honey, I wish I could give you a magical formula to fall for the guy you want to love - but I don't think love / attraction works that way. You can't help who you love. Just think of it this way. You must know one person who loves someone who isn't good for them. You probably ask yourself questions like "how can he/she love someone like that?" I think that love is more powerful than any other emotional process. It's kind of like a disease that creeps up on you when your least expecting it and shakes you to the core - you start to question everything that you believed in and suddenly you see life and everything through a different lens. Maybe I'm exaggerating a little here... But that's how I see things and I believe it's not any less true. I wish you all the best. I hope you find the right person for you. Everyone deserves to love and be loved.
Then try telling it to the guy. If you do it with no fear of loss, then gz, you set him free and give him truth. If you get afraid and decide to keep him till someone better comes along (like my ex did) then gz, you are a selfish person that wants to eat a pie and keep a pie, at the cost of others.
Thank you for this video. I recently broke up with my boyfriend and I miss him desperately but my consciousness knows that I should not go back to him. Thank you for helping me feel better.
If anyone is like me, keep track of your feelings towards the relationship in a daily way. I recently disovered that, without realizing it, I'd spent months and months wondering why I couldn't just be "all in" and if the relationship was truly right. There was just a constant nagging feeling, with occasional happy and content moments. I knew right then and there that I needed to end things. My mom has tried reassuring me that maybe he and I will end up back together, but I asked her to just support me through the pain and not suggest that kind of thing, and it has helped a ton. I know I made the right choice, regardless of how much it hurts. I also can't in good conscience go back and forth, yanking my ex's heart around with my indecision. Sometimes, you just have to grit your teeth, make the tough choice to end a relationship with someone you love but aren't compatible with, and leave it up to the universe.
That’s exactly my situation right now. Please update on how you’re doing. I’ve been in such a dark place since I ended the relationship 2 months ago. I don’t feel hopeful about my future and worry I made a mistake.
@@moniquemartinez212 I just ended my 1 and a half year relationship yesterday and it’s pretty similar to what she was saying when I look back on the day to day I realize I was often in shitty moods and yea I was happy here and there I found myself often being emotional distant from my ex too. Idk of my judgment is skewed by the pain right now but hopefully the future helps me see it clearer
@@skyb5335 Same, that’s what I’m hoping too. We were together for a year and a half as well. I just hope with time I get more clarity about why I felt the way I did when we were together.
I just feel so bad for hurting him... I love him so much I really do but I know why I had to do this. Man does this hurt I thought I was going to be just fine and it has hit me hard. I'm worried for him... I'm going to keep praying for healing for both of us. ❤
I'm in tears. I'm thinking about texting his sister to tell her to keep an eye out for him. Idk if this will do more harm than good though. 😭 i feel like i ripped my own heart out too.
I'm with you guys :( . It hurts so much to see him in pain. Never thought it would feel like this being the one who ended it...wow. Realizing that the only thing that will heal us is time...pain is okay - it's a human experience. Better that we all experience it and work through it without pushing it down.
I'm with you on this. I've got so many problems and I believed she'd be better off without me, but now all I can think about how she could have been the one to help me through. But I'm alone now and I have to grow from it. Find the lesson in it all ir else it'll all be fir nothing.
L please don’t. You’ve caused this poor guy enough pain already. Let him be in peace without you pouring acid on the wounds you have already given him.
I wasn't mistreated. he was genuinely my best friend. I still love him and I know he will find someone wonderful and build a beautiful life with her. My love, im sorry for breaking your heart. But you loved the idea of me instead of what was in front of you, as did I with you. You mean the world to me and I wish nothing but the best for you.
@Harry Pannu. It is her choice to reunite or not. I did the same with the ex who we both mutually respected and even wanted to marry. In the end, before he popped the question, I rejected and left him because I deserved better and God did led me to a better man via my husband and father of my children Frank. ^_^ Even if I had never met my husband Frank, I had already made up my mind to never go back and keep moving forward on my own without the ex because God is more than enough for me and I do not need anyone else to complete me. Though now, my husband and children are my blessings from God. ^_^
Dumping a person is really hard rather than to be the one to be dumped because if you are the one being left behind you don't have a choice but to accept and move on but the person who will dump will experienced second guessing and might regret their decision in the end. If you don't like to experience regret for your actions in the end then do your part when you are still in the relationship.
This spoke directly to me. I am so lonely that my brain is tricking me into believing that it would have been better if I stayed with him. I am so scared I’ll keep being alone, but if I went back to him I would hurt him even more. He deserves someone who could love him, and I just never felt that way.
Guys...i just dumped my person yesterday and today he texted me a whole essay stating my faults and saying i played with his heart ( even when i did so much for him for the past 2 years ). He even said I'll regret leaving him..so that made it clear to me that he only thinks of himself and his needs ya know? Like xD so much self importance that he thinks I can be with noones else in this entire world full of people. They're just jokers ready to hurt you bad. (ofcourse i don't mean to address the good guys who are well behaved and honest) it's just my person was a damn liar from the beginning and I ignored it cause I thought it's alright to lie sometimes.. xD he even lied he got an open heart surgery lmao xD and he always put me down, said I suck at things.. lmao they say when somebody gives u less importance you are attracted to them more cause u neeeeed that importance. That's what's been happening since 2years.. but i am so done.. this was my first bf and i wish I hadn't spoilt my last 2years focusing on teenage love rather than studyin for my medical exam 😂 we learn things the hard way and I'm glad im here today.
@@thecookielord744 same babes. but just like matthew said. u need to think of WHY u broke up. for me it's been a rough 6 days... since i broke up, but i know that this time (i broke up with him before and then ran back to him cause i missed something and wanted to fill the void! WORST DECISION cause it made this second break up painful. first time i was extremely confident.) so i know this time if i go back, there's no turning back or breaking up. he was really desperate and manipulating me, saying he will kill himself and wants to stay friends.. i can't deal with that again so i blocked him everywhere. if i unblock now, im doomed. i know i am emotional but i am at peace with it since i did and do still love him, but i know we didn't have a future together. yes he wants to marry me, i do too. but 1. different religion; i fear god, he doesn't as much as me and i NEED someone who makes me fear god even more than i do already. (we women forget what we NEED in a relationship cause we keep chasing the things we WANT) 2. he wants to live somewhere else in the future and i know LDR is NOTHING for me. 3. he LIES, HIDES and MANIPULATED me many times. I can't deal with someone who avoids conflicts thinking it will be better cuz no. u need to COMMUNICATE. and trust me, even if it is small stuff ladies, that red flag u ignored will bite u back in the future cause if i gave him a second chance (like he says how he didn't mind me flirting with others... UM DUDE WE WERE BROKEN UP?!; which leads to) 4. playing the VICTIM ALL THE TIME. i would never know if he cheated. i had to tell him 2 days straight that i know the truth. he kept CHANGING his STORY and that is so so scary and sneaky. his voice didnt shake once.... while lying STRAIGHT into my FACE!!! beware ! and when i confront he always played victim. so overall this was a toxic relationship. know when to leave and DON't GO BACK LADIES!!! LY ALL
❤️ sending love to everyone that was undervalued at some point in their life. Let's not let fear get the hold on us and lead us the wrong direction. ❤️ sending love and support to everyone that's in need !
This video and the comments are so comforting. It’s so painful right now, but I’m going to keep coming back to this videos and these comments because it’s rare to find something summing up this situation and being the one to leave when you are still in love.
I finally ended a questionable relationship yesterday. I know in my heart it was the right decision, but I do miss him. Thanks for this video. It helped me to refocus on myself and remember why I chose to walk away.
I’m going to miss him so much. There’s things I love about him and I’m mourning those things. But there are other things I didn’t like that made me feel bad and sit and wonder if I deserved better. I’m trying to not just think of the good times. I hate when Love turns to friendship because it’s still good, it’s just not enough.
I like the point made that people are often afraid that they won't find something better and they begin to think that what they are looking for doesn't exist or that they are being too fussy and should settle. it really is true that if it was a big enough deal to make you leave then leaving is the right direction.
I broke up with him after 4 years cuz he is just lazy and playing video game all the time .giving zero time to our relationship . After that I stared questioning my self ! Maybe i was wrong maybe he would change! But after listening to this my doubts are less effective. Thanks 💞
Mine was always working or taking care of his dad. Noble things but nothing for me... not moving in together, no wedding, no children... after three years... So I broke up at an unexpected day when anxiety took over. I hd doubt after a few months but then I remember that he will never give me what I want. He just won't listen. He doesn't see me as a priority. Shame, after so much time, but we tried too many times.
I ended an 8 year relationship two weeks ago. I still cry every day. I gave him an ultimatum and he just didn’t want to get married. I’m afraid of starting over again. I’m 28 and he is 30. I wanted kids and marriage. I work hard and study harder. He always made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for him.
I'm 26 and I did the same , I always worked so hard on myself , studying , learning skills and growing so when the right time comes I could be a great wife and a loving mother for my children , he is afraid of mariage and talks bad about the idea of it , I couldn't risk to stay with a guy who doesn't think I'm worthy of a lifetime commitement when plenty of guys out their could propose to me .
I just knew that, if gave him more chances, he would let me down many more times in the future, so I decided to leave. If you end up a relationship, that doesn't mean you're the insensible one. I gave him a lot of chances. That doesn't mean I not broken. 😥💔
When i first came to the conclusion that ending the relationship was a good idea it felt like a ton of bricks were lifted off of me. But in the following week i begun to be racked with guilt and doubt and began to the schemes to bargaining. “What if i tell her i was just confused or unsure and get back together.” I think the guilt hit me hard because she is deep down a lovely girl but has a ton of issues that i can’t help her with. I need to constantly reassure myself that i made the best decision for us both. It would’ve only been harder down the road. Sometimes you just have to rip the bandaid off. Thank you for reminding me that my initial decision was the correct one.
I recently broke up with someone too... And He was lonely and had many issues I can't help him with... Health and family issues... Right now he is devastated and assaulting me with Blames in my dms and im in pain too idk what to do
Timing for this was incredible, I was almost on the verge of changing my mind. Incredible and insightful video. I am feeling strong and in control.. finally...Thank you so much! X
Kenneth Reichelt I have seen one taken back, it all depends on how deeply they feel for each other and what ended things and how. It is rare but not impossible. People also do change after their journey alone, they grow and can come to visualize things differently
As a woman, It was always hard for me to break up with someone first. Because the only thing that I held on to was guilt. Guilty that breaking up with someone I still care about is like breaking their hearts. I noticed I was always too kind. Sometimes I looked back at the past relationships I thought to me self “damn… I should’ve been the one leaving them, why was I being too kind and too afraid I would hurt people when they didn’t care about leaving me?”. Makes me realize that I shouldn’t let false guilt get the best of me.
Thank you. You made me cry, but in a good way. You reassured me that i am doing the right thing. Its something I've been needing to hear. And of the people in the world, I heard from you. Thank u Matthew Hussey
This was very helpful. I ended my 3.5 year relationship because I felt like was responsible for him not an equal partnership. I wanted to be take care if like I was doing for him. It hurt everday carrying the weight of all of the responsibilities because he didn't want to deal with them. So I ended it. The first day I was relieved and sort of happy. The next, all hell broke loose and the emotions, regret, guilt and longing for him took over by body. I wanted him back even though I knew I had valid reasons for why I left in the first place. But I keep questioning wether or not I made the right decision. I still have a lot of love for him and it hurts everyday to except be is gone for good. Break ups are brutal!
Thank you so much, I needed to hear something like this because I’m at the stage wherein guilt is eating me up and I feel the need to be blamed. I often ask myself “what if I just did better?”. The relationship was so toxic and both of us wanted to end way before. I just can’t seem to remember the negative sides in our relationship. This helped me so much, this video made me realize that pain is just part of it and eventually I’ll move on too. Once again, thank you.❤
I chose the break up with my boyfriend because he had such bad mental health and it was so difficult to continue for the both of us. I know he is hurting and I feel so guilty, I am in pain everyday. My chest literally feels tight. But I know that is didn’t work. I love him so much but it wasn’t healthy. I know that we both deserve to heal and to be happy.
@tami you have a good heart. A lot of people bring all the negative memories to the front of their minds and focus on that. You like me tend to focus on the good times and slowly forget the reasons why it wasn't going to work..
I had been through a very messy breakup situation and I'm fine now but this video just gave me the perfect answer and the perfect closure of this Lesson. IM SO GLAD I HAVE GROWN SO MUCH
the moment i you said what you said in 4:36, my tears start coming out. At this moment, what we really need is someone to reassure us, even if that person doesn't even know us. you have no idea how much hearts you have touched through this video.
Throughout my entire relationship I had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right. I did everything I could to avoid that feeling, but it was always still there. He was my first love which is why I held onto the relationship for as long as I could, but I decided to break up with him. I’m completely heartbroken but I’m so glad that he and I ended on good terms. He kissed me goodbye. I have feelings of regret, but I know that once I’m actually in love, I won’t have that constant gut feeling that something isn’t right. I literally broke up with him yesterday so I obviously feel like complete shit and want to call him, but I won’t. Nobody warned me about how bad this was gonna hurt. Update: it’s been 3 months and I’m almost completely over him. I don’t think about him often and I even casually hungout with him recently. Just hang in there.
@@karinadansinghani3797 it’s been a little over a week now and I haven’t been this happy in a while. I still care about him but I definitely made the right decision.
I just did that tonight .I didn’t want to feel like i was dragging him along .Honestly he was the best boyfriend i ever had it’s just my feelings weren’t there anymore and i was trying to hold on so i wouldn’t hurt his feelings . My heart is broken because i didn’t want to end it if me and him was meant for each other and he’s all I’ve ever know frfr were was together for 2 and a half years .i felt guilty because he’s treated me amazing but i knew my heart wasn’t in the relationship anymore .
@@jordan2143 i am currently in the same situation right now. Broke up with him 4 days ago but feel like it was a bad choice and hopefully I don’t regret it. But I didn’t feel much for him anymore and didn’t want to hurt him.
I just did an hour ago .. And the WORST feeling of my life!! 😭 and he still msg me when i got home.. omg what have i done... seriously i feel awful!! 😭
Wow I really needed this... we must choose ourselves, always. People who are meant to be in our lives will find their way back if that’s what’s meant to be, but only we can do the hard work of growing for ourselves, by ourselves, without the distractions of someone else’s presence in our lives.
This video is so right on!!! Don't let time dilute the reasons you ended things. You ended them for a reason, a legitimate reason. Don't romanticize what you had over time. I'm still having daily conversations with myself regarding why I ended things five months ago. The COVID stay at home orders are a blessing and a curse during this time. Though I will be better off with this time of introspective thought, it is not easy.
WOW. He’s so accurate... the path of pain, confusion, questioning, missing him, and close ones telling you to go back bc they can’t bare seeing you being in pain. I have been through all that and can confirm it.... it’s about almost 1 month since our breakup. I’m still struggling now and sometimes think what it would be like if I give us a try again... but I have to remind myself the reasons that led to the breakup and to not wanting to experience this painful process of breakup again. I’ll keep this video with me to remind me when I’m struggling and questioning myself again..
THANK YOU. This is ExACTly what I needed to hear. Pain doesn't mean I made the wrong decision (and maaaaan, does it HURT). I did the right thing. I KNOW the fundamental reason is solid. Thank you!!!
It’s only been a day and l‘m questioning my descision, feeling guilty and worried and I miss him like crazy. I need to watch this for every second that passes.
@@Pskinn hey hope youre doing well! So about 2 weeks or so after I ended things, he called and asked to see me and also asked for another chance which really raised my anxiety levels higher than ever and made me question my decision even more. I told him I needed time to think...while deep down I knew I deserved better and it was best for both of us to move on. And it was so hard to come clean about this (again!) but finally managed to tell him that it was wrong. I do think that I‘ve made the right decision and that really helps me with the anxiety that comes whenever I begin to question things.. I know it‘s a hard time for u and u have to give yourself time, but you‘ll be fine at the end ;) Hope things get better!
@@xMikeyHardyx I feel a lot better now! The more time that passed the more I came to realize I made the right decision. Can‘t say I‘ve moved on completely, but I‘m definitely not the same person I was four months ago. Crazy how time can be such a healer. Thanks for asking btw:)
There are so many women that I see that are pretty miserable in a relationship/marriage. To the point that I know they would be happier single than with their "partner". But these women are usually so afraid to be "alone". Those women usually feel more alone in those kind of relationshios than if they were single and focus on themselves and genuine loved ones. Choose to be happy. Don't give up on your dreams and goals. You still have a life. It is *your* life. Take control of it
I'm saving this to watch every day for the near future ... As a reminder. I KNOW I made the right decision for the right fundamental reason after 20 years. I'm fearful, anxious and jealous but this video makes me understand I won't feel this way forever and it's part of the process. Thank you sooooo much!
I probably re-watched this video a few times now, and it's always at my weakest moment when I feel the most guilty for standing up for myself, my beliefs, my goals and my future. I feel so guilty for hurting someone that I once loved so deeply, but it really isn't worth all the pain and struggle and frustration that I've had to endure. I know there will be times when I feel lonely and I start to doubt myself and the decision that I've made, but this video serves as a tremendous reminder to me that I did the right thing for myself. Thank you I'm sure I will be watching this again soon and I am so grateful to @matthewhussey for making this video for all of us who need it
I've only ever had two relationships, but I ended both of them. I never had any doubt or fear or confusion about my decision. It was the right thing to do. My emotions didn't match up to what they felt for me and in my second relationship I needed it to be a lot more mature than what he was giving me. No amount of talking or suggesting could change that. I had to let them go, because I would be leading them on otherwise and I would be making myself unhappy. At first I did miss having someone to do stuff with, but hell you have friends for that, but really I never missed them and I never once doubted my decisions. And now I've met someone new, right when I was enjoying being single. I guess that's just the law of attraction or something :)
Natalie P. Wow, thank you! :) I'm not sure I'm strong or anything, but it helps to have faith in yourself and your worth. No matter what people tell you. So I mean when I say: you're amazing too! :) (and so is Matthew Hussey)
JadeyFadeyMCR I don't think it's law of attraction.dont know what it is but I know what your saying.for me that's happened so many times.once the pain goes away,here comes another roller coaster ride.lol
That’s why I keep a list of why I left. I can read it in those moments of fear or pain. And then I remember clearly why leaving a toxic person was the right decision. True love, doesn’t tear your heart apart and undermine your self confidence. 💗
I need this right now. I just got out of a 6 years relationship just because my boyfriend is not motivated to occupy and jobless living at parents house for all 5 years . I have been waiting for him to get movtivated and work hard for our future and I just realized he's not going to do anything about it and I start to feel very miserable thinking about my future with him and breaking up is the only way since he told me he won't be the one I want him to be which is find a job
The main reason I fell In love with him was that he was passionate , smart and sensitive but he stop being that as the relationship progress . Im just not happy with that person anymore
KN N Good decision! If a guy doesn't meet your expectations you don't have to stay there and feel miserable for all your life. Move on and follow your own path, and hopefully you'll find a man who tunes in with you.
KaiBlueSky I totally agree with you. Me and my ex were together about 4 years and he left last year around this time. He was jobless and very depressed with the situation. I always tried to give him motivation but it never really worked. He went back to his parents and still being very confused. I do miss him and his family a lot but I think it will be hard for him to change his personality.. I think I need to move on but it is really hard. Just he is back of my head though I am seeing someone and make me doubt if I am making right decision. I’m just trying to move on and hope I am not wrong and not missing him and his family anymore ..
This video is a gift to me. I was going through excruciating pain and agony of ending a relationship with the love of my life and then learning that he's getting married to his best friend, and dying in some more agony , pain and crippling jealousy. I was torn between initiating the break up and knowing that my reasons weren't wrong. Took me a while to accept the hard truth, that I was right , even though every inch of my soul wished and tried to prove myself wrong. This video just reassured me of that. Thank you!
Thank you Matthew. I've been crying all night. And seen this video has made me stop and feel better. Thank you thank you thank you. I really needed to hear this. You make so much sense. Thank you for saving woman like me.
This video helped a lot. I recently(last week) confront my friend who I been friends with for 5 years about how I felt about the friendship. I was tired of putting the effort into friendship where my friend wasn't. He mostly just blows me off, make excuses, and just acts like he isn't interested in the friendship. So now I am not sure if we are friends or not but I feel like I done what I can and really hope to move on and live my life. It feels weird but I can pull through this.
Your talk is so valuable to me. I am a widow who met a man that was wrong for me. I broke up with him and I am staying strong but it is difficult to deal with the fears that bubble up in me that he was better than nothing. That is wrong thinking. I am 64 years old and have a life to live and a lot to offer. I am also an optimistic person and he had an underlying anger and victim mentality. I could see the red flags so I ended it. I stayed with him for a year and it was nice to have dates to look forward to and not be so lonely. I stayed too long hoping it would work and lying to myself. The struggle is real to stay strong and this video was a very big help. The Christmas season compounds it. Thank you. 🎄❤️
I took him back a month ago after I broke up with him. Two days ago I broke up with him again for he repeated a similar situation. I'm still questioning myself. The love I have is so great I keep thinking it'll help him. But I only get hurt...again. I hate that the doubt is still there.
Thank you so much for the wonderful message, Matthew. I know this is quite an old video, but I'm currently through a break-up where I had to make the decision to walk away from the person I love because like you said, the fundamental reason was there. It's been 2 months now, and those doubtful thoughts have been taking control lately. This video was really able to shift my mindset and remember the reason at the time and how important enough it was for me to walk away. Thank you again, for this.
I ended my relationship in the beginning of the month. I had given some space for my ex to work on things for himself. He however was being distant a lot even now its been a couple months and when I wanted to suggest I visit just for a good time he didn't seem keen. That was it for me and after three days crying I ended it, he didn't make me feel special and also put me below his family. I am glad I did this, I am a woman of high value and I deserve the effort I put in. I am very understanding as a person but he tested my limits. I actually stated a line you said that I'm not interested in being a penpal relationship/friendship anymore and I hope I am still there if we reconnect again. We were in a LDR and I had finally come to his country, I was making bold moves to make it work. He kept plans in his head but no actions so I thought why should I settle now for someone who isn't making an inch effort for me. I can only wish him the best, and for him to heal with whatever is going on with him. I hope he comes back but I will also try to move on. Infact I am having a date the end of the month. I truly loved him and I know I won't have this soul connection again with someone as its so rare to connect so well with anyone I find honestly.
Sunethra K you are so brave I wish I could move on just like you did I had the same problem with the family part but I'm too afraid to move on because he always controlled me for four years I feel so weak now but I hope I can get better by time 💔
Medo Jariody I never had a bad relationship, he was trying to focus on work but it was pulling me away for a long time that it becoming to a stage of no relationship if I let it continue. I'm one month post break up, it's hard but I am still not contacting. I miss him and if he values me he will come back I guess. If it's not serving you and your young please leave if it's abusive. We have one life to make it correct hun. I wish you the best, sending you love. A man and woman should value one another.
Redmar Belle your very young. Is this due to cultural reasons for her not being able to spend time? Well it's almost two months. I called him and no voicemail. It's gone. So I just sent a text wishing he was having a good break and wanted to say hello. So his choice whether he wants me or not. We can only do so much for people. We have to listen to our gut intuition and follow. Mine said to call for some reason, so I did and feel more at ease with his no response to be frank. Tells me so far that he still is in doubt which is a turn off. Piece of advice. Never give your fill heart. Always keep 20% with you to forfill your own needs.
Sunethra K you will find an even BETTER connection with someone else. We are all human beings hardwired for love and reexperiencing deep emotions and connection. :)
I was dating this guy for 4 months and we had a talk about what we were or whether we were "official". I decided to leave him because he wasn't looking for anything serious and I could feel it that he wasn't taking me seriously even though I met his parents and the friends he grew up with, and even though he took me on dates and stuff. I realized that if i kept seeing him, I was just going to fall in love with him and I know it would hurt me if he didn't love me back. I'm glad I didn't invest too much time and energy into this guy but I was kinda regretting making the decision to end it so this video really helped! thank you!
your intuition was this guy was not that into you. do you think he was seeing someone on the side? my ex gf was texting me regularly after breaking up with me after we dated for 2 years. she said she needed space to sort out issues and as much as wanted to believe that , my gut told me she found someone "better". and i was right . i hired a PI and found out she was seeing this rich guy who works in her building for 6 months before she dumped me. she was obviously trying to keep me hanging on just in case her new bf and her did not pan out. trust your intuition.
Exact same situation with me and a lot of other girls/guys. No need to waste time, and why would you want them anyway if they don't want you in return? I'm sure you're doing better now without him.... :)
I had a similar situation where I was talking a guy I really like but he ended up telling me he doesn't want a relationship now so I gave him a chance and said will wait for 3-6 months then we'll decide. Unfortunately, he started losing interest of me and wasn't making any future plans to see me. Once I felt that I was upset, I knew something wasn't right. The night I told him to stop talking, I was so scared that I'll lose him. He ended up letting me go. Right at that moment, I knew he isn't the one. I felt the pain and fear after we stop talking but it makes me realize that I wasn't trying to hold onto him but rather I'm just scared to be lonely and want a companion. Now I just focus on self-improvement, and learning how to deal with loneliness and be mentally strong so I don't need to rely on guys. :)
@@josephineh4391 bruhhhhh tell me why that same thing happened to me, he said the exact same thing and After I left him, I saw he was seeing another girl. Lmaoo what a loser
I needed this SO much... my ex was absolutely toxic. I know I made the right decision, as much as I miss him and euphorically recall bits of the past that I know are not the WHOLE truth. We did not work fundamentally together. He mistreated me and damaged my self-esteem. But I am using this strange period of my life to learn and to grow. For myself. No one else. I know that I will be okay
You have no idea how much your videos are carrying me thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and wisdom. You truly have a gift. Im a 30 yo woman who has been through a huge amount of trauma in my short life and i put in so much work on myself to live in the now and in peace and then 2 years ago my world came crashing down when i met the first man i ever felt true love for and at the same time was experiencing domestic abuse and serious manipulation. I put him first over myself at every opportunity and tried to show compassion and patience. I tried to help him and give him the tools to heal from his own trauma and as a result my mental health took a turn for the worst as he rose up. I tried to communicate that i needed him to now to be my support and he couldn't. He just pulled away. I feel ashamed of myself for not following my gut sooner. I have been through a huge amount of uneeded stress for someone that could not give me the same energy i gave them. I ended it today and im hurting like never before but i know im strong i will get through it. I have been watching your vids for 5 days and it finally gave me the courage. Thank you
Thank you so much Matthew for this video, you really helped me in crazily difficult moment of doubt. Leaving my boyfriend was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. We need to remember that we are enough without other person by our side. Xxx
Wow. I broke up with my partner of 3 years just 3 days ago. I was questioning and almost punishing myself for feeling sadness, loss and pain as I was the one who caused it. This has helped so much, thank you 🌟
I needed to hear this. I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. Now, I’m questioning myself if it’s the right thing to do. I must remember the fundamental reasons why I left. 1. He’s still talking to other girls. His dating app is still active. 2. I was invested more in the relationship more than him. 3. He wasn’t interested when I share stories. Felt so lonely even I was with him. 4. When I asked for space, he kept on telling me no. He would say he didn’t want to lose me and I believed. 5. He never ever apologize for hurting my feelings. He never acknowledged his mistakes. I did the right thing, right? 😆
It’s never easy to be the one who is responsible for the break up but it’s a great reminder of this video that we can’t always trust our memories cuz it’s not that accurate.
You are truly changing lives Matthew. I am going through a break up and you have no idea how much your videos are helping me. You are like a friend we all need to comfort us in times of doubt and pain.
Finally a video about what I’m actually going through. Majority of the videos I came across that were so negative like “depression after the breakup and etc” Like why can’t we be happy afterwards. Thanks for your video.
I didn't love him anymore. But I care deeply about him. And because of that the only thing thwt I could do was breaking up with him. Because he deserves the chance to be happy with someone that really loves him.
absolutely perfect timing. just left my husband sept 30th and starting to question now. i just saw your other video and subscribed. then just got this message. thank u. my gfs are making a bet on when my hubbz and i would be back together when this posted. he and i were married for 4yrs this past 9th of oct. and today is 5yrs and 10mos TODAY together
I love the clarity you give me. The pain is excruciating at times - I love and miss him dearly - but it doesn’t mean I made a mistake. I did the right thing in breaking up with him. Thank you Matthew Hussey!
We all know being dumped by someone else is not easy. When we are dumped, we feel that it was the most painful moment ever. This video helps us understand why someone else dumped us. Matthew is a really great speaker. If someone out there is on the stage of being broken then I suggest they should try to watch and listen to Matthew’s advices.
I used to question my decision to break up with my girlfriend back in 2016. And I remember watching this video when I needed reassurance. And I'm happy to say that I made the right decision. That long-distance relationship intoxicated by her lies, depression, unstable feelings for me, disrespect and racism coming from her family were just not worth the pain. Now I'm with a wonderful girl and in a healthy (non-long distance) relationship and I regret nothing. I deserve to receive the same amount of love as I was giving out. I deserve to be a priority in one's life as she is in mine.
REALLY needed this. I have been struggling with so much guilt and second guessing and confusion after breaking up with my fiancé of 4 years. This was perfect, thank you.
I just had an anxiety attack because I felt I made the wrong decision breaking up with my ex and thought now I will forever be alone..then I saw this video and it really calmed me down ❤️ thank you Matthew
just come across your video randomly. i am going through a break up and man i would never wish this type of pain on anyone. its been almost a month, we were together for almost 6 years living together and engaged. Thank you for this video
thank you so much for sharing your love and reaching out to me. i am in a better place now as far as accepting my new reality. Hope you are doing well right now. It only get better. XOXO
Ending a friendship of 7 years with my bestfriend who was like my sister was the hardest decision I ever made. At times I still reminisce the good times but not so much the actual person. Good luck to whoever is dropping a close friend or significant other...you got this...just stay true to your decision!🙏😌
"it doesn't mean you made the wrong decision, pain isn't a sign you did something wrong, it can be a sign that this is a period we need to grow and we need to overcome a few obstacles, don't let it confuse you, don't let it deter you from the path that you know is right and always at all costs, resist the path that's most comfortable and leads you somewhere ultimately you don't wanna go"
Dr Steve can actually help you attract someone you really love the most and want in your life. He once helped me and can help you too. Believe me I'm not bragging or trying to make unnecessary comment here, this was what really happened to me. he helped me attract (Jeremy) the guy I love and wanted in my life the most 💞💞☺️☺️💞💞
Thank you so much for this video!❤ Everything you said was spot on! I have to put the fear and second guessing my decision to the side and trust my reasons!! "Fear comes from scarcity!" 🎯
When you take someone back you get reminded of why you left them in the first place.
+Artsy Tyger Agree. After I got in shape and grew my hair out longer. He started calling again! Well, you had a chance with me, but you invested nothing in the relationship except for me being a "Booty Call"
Uhm that depends on the growth of the person that got dumped.... I have friends that have broken up and now are happily married...
Yes this is so true
Or not. Especially when you have some kind of condition that seriously impairs your ability to judge another person objectively (my best guess is that this affects about 40% of women and 20% of men before any kind of therapy), you may find that there is nothing wrong with them, especially when you work out YOUR issues. If you don't, they may remind you why you left them, but it may still not be their fault.
Or, in simpler words: I hate some women for their tendency to end perfectly functional relationships (or other kinds of good long-term commitments), and getting encouraged for it. And I also detest Matthew (for this video, not in general) for being business-oriented and not even mentioning the possibility of you having mental issues that destroy your relationship.
I’m currently in this situation..I took him back a few days ago and well the first few days and even this morning he was being the person I’ve always wanted him to be, until slow he started reminding why I left him in the first place.. I need to learn how to not take him back and how to just stay away from him..but it’s so hard cause you’re just used to talking with that person literally every day and sharing your darkest fears, etc.
I just broke up with the love of my life yesterday, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do because I know I love & care for him, but deep down, I know I deserve more than what I was getting. I think sometimes we all hold on to someone in hoping that things will change & get better, but in the process we loose ourselves & are pushed over the edge until we’ve had enough - especially when the level of effort is not equal. 💔
If you felt like you could have deserved better and if the level of effort isn't equal then it was the right decision to make ❤️ Never let people bring you down xx
I feel you I did the same thing today...we give much more than they deserve which is bad and they take our kindness for weakness so finally they lose us...hope you are feeling better now I dont know when u upload this
@@themandynguyen I, too, broke up with a man (2 years) who had addiction issues. I could not come to terms with inviting this behavior into my future life. I believe there is a high rate of relapse and I won't subject myself to this type of lifelong pain. Like the song says, I was in love with your potential.
I feel you. I am in the same boat.
Good news though, he wasn’t the love of your life! You will find the love of your life! Cause the next one won’t make the same mistakes the last one did
"That pain doesn't mean you made the wrong decision" - I needed to hear that so bad.
Me too! Thanks for repeating it. 🙏🤗
it's not easy to leave a man you love . but I need my sanity and fredom
Tania diakoff hows that working out?
What happened??
Any update??
Same!!
Hope you are ok
I've just ended my relationship and I feel like shit.
UPDATE - 1.5 years later
It was the best decision I made for myself. I've grown soooo much as a person and the relationship really was stunting my growth. TIME, self reflection, Self-love and Self-care is what ultimately healed me.... 🙌🏿❤💫
I know exatcly how you feel. I left my girlfriend after 10 years. Hardest things i ever done. But it gets better!!
Same siss same
Same here...😰
Me too girl. Me too
The Movement same girl
Just broke up with who I thought was the love of my life. He loved me but disrespected and emotionally abused me at the same time. You should never disrespect someone you love. Love is kindness and patience. Know your worth and know when you deserve better. The right time to break up is when you think you're settling. Never settle when it comes to a life partner. You know you made the right decision when you feel at peace rather than anxious.
Girllll I wished I did this a year ago when he tried getting at my cousin while we were seeing eachother
Hi, I just broke up with him because I percieved his behavior towards to me as disrespectful. But I feel so sad rn and I cried so much. I can't stop thinking if I just wasn't "too strict" and if what I percieved as disrespect was really a disrespect :( I don't know... On one side he was so sweet, caring, loving, trying to find solutions etc, but when he was pressured he became emotionally unstable and suddenly treating me disrespectfully when questioning me because of rumors one girl did spread about me. Even told me "F*** u" when I broke up with him. I tried to be polite.
@@DZ-jz8bj i am questioning myself hard the same way you did. How do you feel now?
Leave when it gets too hard...gotcha.
"Pain isn't always a sign that we did something wrong. It could just be a sign that this is a period where we need to grow and we need to overcome a few obstacles."
Im right now at this point! I am in so much pain, its almost unbearable! The relatives and friends make it only worse! The mornings are the worse, when you wake up and feel that its real..... he is not there.,the urge to contact him is immense!!!! But I must be strong! How???? Fear, pain, sadness.... i need help did i do the right thing? Am i too fussy?
Going through the same thing. Hard as hell. But thank Gawd for Hussey!
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I agree.. mornings are the worst. And late night too. Be strong, you'll get through it!
we are back together now... in couples therapy,... lets see how it goes
if you feel valued and loved in a relationship then ideas about leaving someone should never cross our minds.The fact that such ideas cross our minds means that a break up is necessary.Painful but necessary.
hear, hear
@@KotoriOnWheels 😂😂🙏so true!
No
This is a stupid assertion.
Well I felt very loved and valued in my relationship but still had to break up bc he went back to his home country. It's not that simple
“Choose the path of growth.” This solidified it.
Sometimes its good growth but sometimes its bad growth. Maybe you will learn the difference.
@@EmilyGloeggler7984 "bad growth" doesnt even make sense
I don't miss him anymore because I finally realize he will never give me the love I need
But how about me as a guy?
I still love her after we broke up for a year. Did i have a chance to get her back?
Love u need😂
Crumbs are never an adequate source of nutrition. No living creature can survive on it.
I feel this so hard right now
And what's the love you need?.
If you ended it, believe in yourself. If you were a responsible partner, you probably agonized over this for quite a while. You considered every possibility, every reason, etc. In the end, you courageously made the move (hopefully in a classy manner). If you go back, you are basically disrespecting yourself. You’re afraid of the consequences of your actions. And you also disrespect the person you dumped.
𝑴𝒚 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒊𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒘 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒂𝒈𝒐😢, 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝑰 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒎𝒚 𝒆𝒙 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂 𝒑𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕😊😊.,.
𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒔,,,,𝑨𝒑𝒑 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑🙏🏿🙏🏿..
➕1️⃣,9️⃣5️⃣6️⃣,5️⃣3️⃣1️⃣,2️⃣4️⃣0️⃣6️⃣.:
Dumping someone is not courageous. It's a selfish decision at the end of the day. One person can't decide what's good for both. They are deciding what's best for them and that's all.
@@Jonovision81 One person has the freedom to leave at any given time though. Sure it’s selfish but that’s the given human right they have. I can’t stay in a relationship because he hasn’t granted me permission to breakup or we haven’t agreed upon it lol! If I want out, I’m out. If he wants out, he’s out. That’s the relationship agreement.
And for anyone who wasn't a responsible partner and ended things without thinking things through, it's also for the best that they ended things because they weren't showing up properly for the other person and weren't being a good partner, and their partner deserved better, and they needed time and space to grow and learn.
Is it just me or is it that there is so much support for people who are broken up with and so much demonizing towards the person who did the breakup?
I noticed that. I tried looking up help for people who broke up with someone and are hurting but everything is geared towards the person that was broken up with.
I agree. I've looked for this for years.
@maddies2173 i didnt do it because of abuse but fundamental beliefs and it was an impasse. The worst emotional pain ever.. years ago but I still hate it
From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
Lin Du made me emotional that vid..
Yeah. That was so helpful, saved my day!!!
Yesssssss
They say "If you are searching for a reason to leave, stop searching. The search is the reason."
Or...It's possible that you have childhood trauma, and you always bail on commitment.
I feel like absolute trash for doing this to him. I love him dearly and I know he loves me so much, I feel like I added to his stress/pain. I feel like I let him down, but I know we both need to grow and we can’t do it together, we’ll just hinder each other. I know I’m doing the right thing but I’m in so much pain.....Thank you..... I can rest now
i am with you, girl. i feel a tremendous amount of guilt for breaking up with him and causing him more pain than he’s already been feeling. much like your relationship, i needed to end things because i felt that we needed time to grow on our own. i know i did the right thing, but i keep doubting myself. he’s in such a dark place right now. my heart is aching for him because i’ve felt his pain before and i hate that he has to experience that. i only want the best for him; that’s why i’m letting him go. but, it’s so, so hard.
please be easy on yourself. you are only doing what’s right.
geez this is me right now and him. Ugh so hard
This directly speaks the words from my soul. It's just good to know that someone understands.. that's why I was searching for this topic on UA-cam in the first place. To release this feeling of "you did the worst possible thing". Thanks for sharing.
I feel the same. I send my deepest condolences because I know how hard it is. It’s horrible because I feel like society teaches you that love can overcome all, but what happens when love isn’t enough? The hardest thing you can do is cause pain to someone you love, but honestly sometimes you have to because you yourself should come first. At least that’s the thought I keep running in my head hoping it helps in my situation...
Really needed this message. Letting go of someone you love but that you know is not right for you is one of the hardest things. However being miserable while with that person for the sake of comfort is far worst and just toxic. Moving on is sometimes a blessing in disguise.
𝑴𝒚 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒊𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒘 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒂𝒈𝒐😢, 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝑰 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒎𝒚 𝒆𝒙 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂 𝒑𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕😊😊.,.
𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒔,,,,𝑨𝒑𝒑 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑🙏🏿🙏🏿..
➕1️⃣,9️⃣5️⃣6️⃣,5️⃣3️⃣1️⃣,2️⃣4️⃣0️⃣6️⃣.:
Letting go of someone you love and which you know is right for you is also one of the hardest things, however, it was worth it in the end to leave him and thankfully before we were either engaged or married. To my surprise, God led me to a better man - my husband Frank.
I needed to read this tonight. I genuinely did and finding your message has given me lots of courage. I am exactly going through this.
This!
This may have just saved my life
Cullen Folks hope it was worth the jump
skyhigh lihi I don't even know anymore
Niftysquash same here
Stay strong girl 💪🏽
Stay strong! Did you already move on?
This helped, thank you. I broke up with him only a day or so ago. He was so sweet to me, and I keep forgetting all of the bad things and only seeing our "highlight reel" so to speak going on and on in my head. I don't know if it was the right call. I keep thinking about all of our inside jokes and I can't even think about how I could have that with someone else. I just feel like I broke my own heart for nothing. But this helped. I need to keep reminding myself that if it's meant to be it'll be, and that I need to do more for myself and take care of myself.
I'm with you on this. I've got so many problems and I believed she'd be better off without me, but now all I can think about how she could have been the one to help me through. But I'm alone now and I have to grow from it. Find the lesson in it all or else it'll all be for nothing.
@@mosesart.47 Hey! So for me, I made this comment months ago, and I was in such a heartbroken and terrible place. I don't know what you're going through exactly, but I can tell you this, it gets so much better. It gets so much easier, and life gets better every day. I know you must be feeling terrible right now, but just take some time to take care of yourself, reach out to friends, and slowly but surely, you'll notice that things will get a little less heavy each day. I am in such a better place than I was 2 months ago when I wrote that comment, and I know you'll be so much better than where you are now in 2 months time. Hang in there. You can and you will get through this.
@@anna-ne9zk hey there! This truly means the world that you would respond. If Im being completely honest I dont share things with anybody in my life cuz it just feels like nobody cares, so I keep things in a lot until I can manage vetter on my own. But having you reach out to me, a complete stranger, has shown me that there are ppl who care and that what I feel matters and that I'll get through this! Thank you so much, you've truly made my week and I hope you've been maintaining in the middle of all this global chaos! Lol take care of yourself and I promise I'll do the same, bud!
@@mosesart.47 That's so kind of you!! I understand how you feel, sometimes it's hard to go about the day to day when you feel alone. I know I'm a total stranger to you, but if you ever need someone to give you some encouragement, never hesitate to reach out to me! Hope you're safe and healthy in this weird and stressful time :)
Alycea Wood hi. Any chance we can talk about this breakup subject? I’m in a similar spot...
The number one thing that plagues my thoughts after my break up is simply: "What is reasonable to expect from a relationship, reasonable happiness. Was I setting my expectations too high?"
i have the same fear. He was nice, kind, caring...but i never felt any chemistry. He was attracted to me way more than i was attracted to him which led to my decision to end the relationship. It just didn't feel right. I'll be honest, i do sometimes think that Karma will get back at me...that i'll fall for someone who won't love me the same way...maybe i was selfish for not loving him back the same way. My mother loved him and so did my dad. He seemed perfect for everyone around me ...except for me.
The thought of living with him for the rest of my life didn't make me happy, but sad. He was the nice guy, the perfect on paper guy, who did everything right...but for some reason i couldn't love him.
Elena Salvatore
I have this lovely guy who loves me. Why don't I want him? I'm afraid I don't know what's right for me, I'm afraid that I might be alone. All of this crowds me & makes me feel indecisive.
rasnabegum2012 I'm sorry honey, I wish I could give you a magical formula to fall for the guy you want to love - but I don't think love / attraction works that way. You can't help who you love. Just think of it this way. You must know one person who loves someone who isn't good for them. You probably ask yourself questions like "how can he/she love someone like that?" I think that love is more powerful than any other emotional process. It's kind of like a disease that creeps up on you when your least expecting it and shakes you to the core - you start to question everything that you believed in and suddenly you see life and everything through a different lens. Maybe I'm exaggerating a little here... But that's how I see things and I believe it's not any less true. I wish you all the best. I hope you find the right person for you. Everyone deserves to love and be loved.
Then try telling it to the guy. If you do it with no fear of loss, then gz, you set him free and give him truth. If you get afraid and decide to keep him till someone better comes along (like my ex did) then gz, you are a selfish person that wants to eat a pie and keep a pie, at the cost of others.
I feel you, I'm in this situation right now
Thank you for this video. I recently broke up with my boyfriend and I miss him desperately but my consciousness knows that I should not go back to him. Thank you for helping me feel better.
SOVEREIGN CRY
Uh....
U r reported.
If anyone is like me, keep track of your feelings towards the relationship in a daily way. I recently disovered that, without realizing it, I'd spent months and months wondering why I couldn't just be "all in" and if the relationship was truly right. There was just a constant nagging feeling, with occasional happy and content moments. I knew right then and there that I needed to end things. My mom has tried reassuring me that maybe he and I will end up back together, but I asked her to just support me through the pain and not suggest that kind of thing, and it has helped a ton. I know I made the right choice, regardless of how much it hurts. I also can't in good conscience go back and forth, yanking my ex's heart around with my indecision.
Sometimes, you just have to grit your teeth, make the tough choice to end a relationship with someone you love but aren't compatible with, and leave it up to the universe.
How are you feeling now? I'm incredibly interested, and in a similar situation you are just two months post break up. I miss her so much.
That’s exactly my situation right now. Please update on how you’re doing. I’ve been in such a dark place since I ended the relationship 2 months ago. I don’t feel hopeful about my future and worry I made a mistake.
@@moniquemartinez212 I just ended my 1 and a half year relationship yesterday and it’s pretty similar to what she was saying when I look back on the day to day I realize I was often in shitty moods and yea I was happy here and there I found myself often being emotional distant from my ex too. Idk of my judgment is skewed by the pain right now but hopefully the future helps me see it clearer
@@skyb5335 Same, that’s what I’m hoping too. We were together for a year and a half as well. I just hope with time I get more clarity about why I felt the way I did when we were together.
@@skyb5335 Hey, how are you doing?
I just feel so bad for hurting him... I love him so much I really do but I know why I had to do this. Man does this hurt I thought I was going to be just fine and it has hit me hard. I'm worried for him... I'm going to keep praying for healing for both of us. ❤
I feel exactly the same way. I thought I would be fine but I feel awful. Super worried about him and miss him and waant him back.
I'm in tears. I'm thinking about texting his sister to tell her to keep an eye out for him. Idk if this will do more harm than good though. 😭 i feel like i ripped my own heart out too.
I'm with you guys :( . It hurts so much to see him in pain. Never thought it would feel like this being the one who ended it...wow. Realizing that the only thing that will heal us is time...pain is okay - it's a human experience. Better that we all experience it and work through it without pushing it down.
I'm with you on this. I've got so many problems and I believed she'd be better off without me, but now all I can think about how she could have been the one to help me through. But I'm alone now and I have to grow from it. Find the lesson in it all ir else it'll all be fir nothing.
L please don’t. You’ve caused this poor guy enough pain already. Let him be in peace without you pouring acid on the wounds you have already given him.
Sometimes I play this on repeat. 💜
Me to
I'm thinking the same thing too, glad I am not the only one.
I'm here fellas
Me to
I think I'm going to do that too
I wasn't mistreated. he was genuinely my best friend. I still love him and I know he will find someone wonderful and build a beautiful life with her.
My love, im sorry for breaking your heart. But you loved the idea of me instead of what was in front of you, as did I with you. You mean the world to me and I wish nothing but the best for you.
Damn sounds like my ex/relationship :,(
𝑴𝒚 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒊𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒘 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒂𝒈𝒐😢, 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝑰 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒎𝒚 𝒆𝒙 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂 𝒑𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕😊😊.,.
𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒔,,,,𝑨𝒑𝒑 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑🙏🏿🙏🏿..
➕1️⃣,9️⃣5️⃣6️⃣,5️⃣3️⃣1️⃣,2️⃣4️⃣0️⃣6️⃣.:
You people are so weird, stay out of relationships
@Harry Pannu. It is her choice to reunite or not. I did the same with the ex who we both mutually respected and even wanted to marry. In the end, before he popped the question, I rejected and left him because I deserved better and God did led me to a better man via my husband and father of my children Frank. ^_^ Even if I had never met my husband Frank, I had already made up my mind to never go back and keep moving forward on my own without the ex because God is more than enough for me and I do not need anyone else to complete me. Though now, my husband and children are my blessings from God. ^_^
Dumping a person is really hard rather than to be the one to be dumped because if you are the one being left behind you don't have a choice but to accept and move on but the person who will dump will experienced second guessing and might regret their decision in the end. If you don't like to experience regret for your actions in the end then do your part when you are still in the relationship.
This is so true! The second guessing is killing me
Both suck equally. Being dumped hurts more especially when the person is an asshole while dumping you.
@@shawnabattaglia1369 same situation. it's driving me mad
This is so true
Most untrue thing I've ever read.
This spoke directly to me. I am so lonely that my brain is tricking me into believing that it would have been better if I stayed with him. I am so scared I’ll keep being alone, but if I went back to him I would hurt him even more. He deserves someone who could love him, and I just never felt that way.
Adi Jackson same story here!!
I relate to this so much
Wow relatable
Guys...i just dumped my person yesterday and today he texted me a whole essay stating my faults and saying i played with his heart ( even when i did so much for him for the past 2 years ). He even said I'll regret leaving him..so that made it clear to me that he only thinks of himself and his needs ya know? Like xD so much self importance that he thinks I can be with noones else in this entire world full of people. They're just jokers ready to hurt you bad. (ofcourse i don't mean to address the good guys who are well behaved and honest) it's just my person was a damn liar from the beginning and I ignored it cause I thought it's alright to lie sometimes.. xD he even lied he got an open heart surgery lmao xD and he always put me down, said I suck at things.. lmao they say when somebody gives u less importance you are attracted to them more cause u neeeeed that importance. That's what's been happening since 2years.. but i am so done.. this was my first bf and i wish I hadn't spoilt my last 2years focusing on teenage love rather than studyin for my medical exam 😂 we learn things the hard way and I'm glad im here today.
@@thecookielord744 same babes. but just like matthew said. u need to think of WHY u broke up. for me it's been a rough 6 days... since i broke up, but i know that this time (i broke up with him before and then ran back to him cause i missed something and wanted to fill the void! WORST DECISION cause it made this second break up painful. first time i was extremely confident.) so i know this time if i go back, there's no turning back or breaking up. he was really desperate and manipulating me, saying he will kill himself and wants to stay friends..
i can't deal with that again so i blocked him everywhere. if i unblock now, im doomed.
i know i am emotional but i am at peace with it since i did and do still love him, but i know we didn't have a future together.
yes he wants to marry me, i do too. but 1. different religion; i fear god, he doesn't as much as me and i NEED someone who makes me fear god even more than i do already. (we women forget what we NEED in a relationship cause we keep chasing the things we WANT)
2. he wants to live somewhere else in the future and i know LDR is NOTHING for me. 3. he LIES, HIDES and MANIPULATED me many times. I can't deal with someone who avoids conflicts thinking it will be better cuz no. u need to COMMUNICATE.
and trust me, even if it is small stuff ladies, that red flag u ignored will bite u back in the future cause if i gave him a second chance (like he says how he didn't mind me flirting with others... UM DUDE WE WERE BROKEN UP?!; which leads to) 4. playing the VICTIM ALL THE TIME. i would never know if he cheated. i had to tell him 2 days straight that i know the truth. he kept CHANGING his STORY and that is so so scary and sneaky. his voice didnt shake once.... while lying STRAIGHT into my FACE!!! beware ! and when i confront he always played victim. so overall this was a toxic relationship. know when to leave and DON't GO BACK LADIES!!! LY ALL
I’ve searched the whole internet for information and tips about my situation. This is exactly it. Thank you, this really helped.
Me too
❤️ sending love to everyone that was undervalued at some point in their life. Let's not let fear get the hold on us and lead us the wrong direction. ❤️ sending love and support to everyone that's in need !
Thank you
I honestly just shed a few tears and I’m comfortable with my decision and it is the right decision for my well being. Thank you.
𝑴𝒚 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒊𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒘 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒂𝒈𝒐😢, 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝑰 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒎𝒚 𝒆𝒙 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂 𝒑𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕😊😊.,.
This video and the comments are so comforting. It’s so painful right now, but I’m going to keep coming back to this videos and these comments because it’s rare to find something summing up this situation and being the one to leave when you are still in love.
That is so well said. I agree, these comments combined with the video is beyond comforting. Stay strong ❤
I finally ended a questionable relationship yesterday. I know in my heart it was the right decision, but I do miss him. Thanks for this video. It helped me to refocus on myself and remember why I chose to walk away.
I'm watching this BEFORE dumping him
did u dump him
+
Same
Same 💀💀
Gimme an update
I’m going to miss him so much. There’s things I love about him and I’m mourning those things. But there are other things I didn’t like that made me feel bad and sit and wonder if I deserved better. I’m trying to not just think of the good times. I hate when Love turns to friendship because it’s still good, it’s just not enough.
𝑴𝒚 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒊𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒘 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒂𝒈𝒐😢, 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝑰 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒎𝒚 𝒆𝒙 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂 𝒑𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕😊😊.,.
𝑴𝒚 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒊𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒘 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒔 𝒂𝒈𝒐😢, 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝑰 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒎𝒚 𝒆𝒙 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂 𝒑𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕😊😊.,.
𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒔,,,,𝑨𝒑𝒑 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑🙏🏿🙏🏿..
➕1️⃣,9️⃣5️⃣6️⃣,5️⃣3️⃣1️⃣,2️⃣4️⃣0️⃣6️⃣.:
I like the point made that people are often afraid that they won't find something better and they begin to think that what they are looking for doesn't exist or that they are being too fussy and should settle. it really is true that if it was a big enough deal to make you leave then leaving is the right direction.
Seems like you are looking for something that doesn't exist ...
until you find out the grass isn't always greener
I broke up with him after 4 years cuz he is just lazy and playing video game all the time .giving zero time to our relationship . After that I stared questioning my self ! Maybe i was wrong maybe he would change! But after listening to this my doubts are less effective. Thanks 💞
EXACT situation for me! 4 years as well!
Karina really!! Video game!! So We are normal. Hope you are feeling better now , cuz still i have my ups and downs. All the love and support ♥️🙏🏻
Mine was always working or taking care of his dad. Noble things but nothing for me... not moving in together, no wedding, no children... after three years... So I broke up at an unexpected day when anxiety took over. I hd doubt after a few months but then I remember that he will never give me what I want. He just won't listen. He doesn't see me as a priority. Shame, after so much time, but we tried too many times.
Men don’t break up with their partners anymore. Their actions just change and they hope you leave.
Same 4 years and guess what he went back to his ex
I ended an 8 year relationship two weeks ago. I still cry every day. I gave him an ultimatum and he just didn’t want to get married. I’m afraid of starting over again. I’m 28 and he is 30. I wanted kids and marriage. I work hard and study harder. He always made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for him.
Are you still happy you left?
I'm 26 and I did the same , I always worked so hard on myself , studying , learning skills and growing so when the right time comes I could be a great wife and a loving mother for my children , he is afraid of mariage and talks bad about the idea of it , I couldn't risk to stay with a guy who doesn't think I'm worthy of a lifetime commitement when plenty of guys out their could propose to me .
You 100% did the right thing
I just knew that, if gave him more chances, he would let me down many more times in the future, so I decided to leave. If you end up a relationship, that doesn't mean you're the insensible one. I gave him a lot of chances. That doesn't mean I not broken. 😥💔
When i first came to the conclusion that ending the relationship was a good idea it felt like a ton of bricks were lifted off of me. But in the following week i begun to be racked with guilt and doubt and began to the schemes to bargaining. “What if i tell her i was just confused or unsure and get back together.”
I think the guilt hit me hard because she is deep down a lovely girl but has a ton of issues that i can’t help her with.
I need to constantly reassure myself that i made the best decision for us both. It would’ve only been harder down the road. Sometimes you just have to rip the bandaid off.
Thank you for reminding me that my initial decision was the correct one.
I recently broke up with someone too... And He was lonely and had many issues I can't help him with...
Health and family issues...
Right now he is devastated and assaulting me with Blames in my dms and im in pain too idk what to do
Timing for this was incredible, I was almost on the verge of changing my mind. Incredible and insightful video. I am feeling strong and in control.. finally...Thank you so much! X
Excellent video Matt.....I needed to hear this. Two years and still in pain...it is so tempting sometimes to give in and go back
ZOE'S HEALTH.BEAUTY.LIFESTYLE Same here girl, I feel
Haha, you all think the guy will just take you back. It's not that easy with a self respecting man.
Kenneth Reichelt I have seen one taken back, it all depends on how deeply they feel for each other and what ended things and how. It is rare but not impossible. People also do change after their journey alone, they grow and can come to visualize things differently
Zoe-Holistic Health 5 months and he declined when I wanted to go back. Good for now :)
As a woman, It was always hard for me to break up with someone first. Because the only thing that I held on to was guilt. Guilty that breaking up with someone I still care about is like breaking their hearts. I noticed I was always too kind. Sometimes I looked back at the past relationships I thought to me self “damn… I should’ve been the one leaving them, why was I being too kind and too afraid I would hurt people when they didn’t care about leaving me?”. Makes me realize that I shouldn’t let false guilt get the best of me.
Thank you. You made me cry, but in a good way. You reassured me that i am doing the right thing. Its something I've been needing to hear. And of the people in the world, I heard from you. Thank u Matthew Hussey
This was very helpful. I ended my 3.5 year relationship because I felt like was responsible for him not an equal partnership. I wanted to be take care if like I was doing for him. It hurt everday carrying the weight of all of the responsibilities because he didn't want to deal with them. So I ended it. The first day I was relieved and sort of happy. The next, all hell broke loose and the emotions, regret, guilt and longing for him took over by body. I wanted him back even though I knew I had valid reasons for why I left in the first place. But I keep questioning wether or not I made the right decision. I still have a lot of love for him and it hurts everyday to except be is gone for good. Break ups are brutal!
What was the reason?
How are you doing now ?does it get better ?i m going through it so if u have any advice?
Thank you so much, I needed to hear something like this because I’m at the stage wherein guilt is eating me up and I feel the need to be blamed. I often ask myself “what if I just did better?”. The relationship was so toxic and both of us wanted to end way before. I just can’t seem to remember the negative sides in our relationship. This helped me so much, this video made me realize that pain is just part of it and eventually I’ll move on too. Once again, thank you.❤
I chose the break up with my boyfriend because he had such bad mental health and it was so difficult to continue for the both of us. I know he is hurting and I feel so guilty, I am in pain everyday. My chest literally feels tight. But I know that is didn’t work. I love him so much but it wasn’t healthy. I know that we both deserve to heal and to be happy.
@tami you have a good heart. A lot of people bring all the negative memories to the front of their minds and focus on that. You like me tend to focus on the good times and slowly forget the reasons why it wasn't going to work..
I had been through a very messy breakup situation and I'm fine now but this video just gave me the perfect answer and the perfect closure of this Lesson. IM SO GLAD I HAVE GROWN SO MUCH
Red Bean o
the moment i you said what you said in 4:36, my tears start coming out. At this moment, what we really need is someone to reassure us, even if that person doesn't even know us. you have no idea how much hearts you have touched through this video.
Channary Voeng I'm totally agree 👌
Throughout my entire relationship I had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right. I did everything I could to avoid that feeling, but it was always still there. He was my first love which is why I held onto the relationship for as long as I could, but I decided to break up with him. I’m completely heartbroken but I’m so glad that he and I ended on good terms. He kissed me goodbye. I have feelings of regret, but I know that once I’m actually in love, I won’t have that constant gut feeling that something isn’t right. I literally broke up with him yesterday so I obviously feel like complete shit and want to call him, but I won’t. Nobody warned me about how bad this was gonna hurt.
Update: it’s been 3 months and I’m almost completely over him. I don’t think about him often and I even casually hungout with him recently. Just hang in there.
I can honestly relate to everything you’ve said so much. Hope you’re good 🥰
@@karinadansinghani3797 it’s been a little over a week now and I haven’t been this happy in a while. I still care about him but I definitely made the right decision.
I just did that tonight .I didn’t want to feel like i was dragging him along .Honestly he was the best boyfriend i ever had it’s just my feelings weren’t there anymore and i was trying to hold on so i wouldn’t hurt his feelings . My heart is broken because i didn’t want to end it if me and him was meant for each other and he’s all I’ve ever know frfr were was together for 2 and a half years .i felt guilty because he’s treated me amazing but i knew my heart wasn’t in the relationship anymore .
This comment helped me a lot!
@@jordan2143 i am currently in the same situation right now. Broke up with him 4 days ago but feel like it was a bad choice and hopefully I don’t regret it. But I didn’t feel much for him anymore and didn’t want to hurt him.
I just did an hour ago .. And the WORST feeling of my life!! 😭 and he still msg me when i got home.. omg what have i done... seriously i feel awful!! 😭
miraclemaui Stay strong! Did you already move on?
Simone Bogus i am now 🙂
I just did today too and still feel so shitty omg for so many reasons :(
@marshmelo me too :(
I just broke up too, and it was horrible to see him so sad..
Wow I really needed this... we must choose ourselves, always. People who are meant to be in our lives will find their way back if that’s what’s meant to be, but only we can do the hard work of growing for ourselves, by ourselves, without the distractions of someone else’s presence in our lives.
This video is so right on!!! Don't let time dilute the reasons you ended things. You ended them for a reason, a legitimate reason. Don't romanticize what you had over time. I'm still having daily conversations with myself regarding why I ended things five months ago. The COVID stay at home orders are a blessing and a curse during this time. Though I will be better off with this time of introspective thought, it is not easy.
I was reminded today....I reminded myself...I'm the one that broke it off, then why am I the sad one? I need to get over this and move on
Update?
WOW. He’s so accurate... the path of pain, confusion, questioning, missing him, and close ones telling you to go back bc they can’t bare seeing you being in pain. I have been through all that and can confirm it.... it’s about almost 1 month since our breakup. I’m still struggling now and sometimes think what it would be like if I give us a try again... but I have to remind myself the reasons that led to the breakup and to not wanting to experience this painful process of breakup again. I’ll keep this video with me to remind me when I’m struggling and questioning myself again..
I feel your pain
(Also I love your profile pic 😍 world wide handsome)
THANK YOU. This is ExACTly what I needed to hear. Pain doesn't mean I made the wrong decision (and maaaaan, does it HURT). I did the right thing. I KNOW the fundamental reason is solid. Thank you!!!
cried so much watching this video but thank you for making me understand that feeling like this is okay
It’s only been a day and l‘m questioning my descision, feeling guilty and worried and I miss him like crazy. I need to watch this for every second that passes.
Any update? In the same boat as you.
@@Pskinn hey hope youre doing well!
So about 2 weeks or so after I ended things, he called and asked to see me and also asked for another chance which really raised my anxiety levels higher than ever and made me question my decision even more. I told him I needed time to think...while deep down I knew I deserved better and it was best for both of us to move on. And it was so hard to come clean about this (again!) but finally managed to tell him that it was wrong. I do think that I‘ve made the right decision and that really helps me with the anxiety that comes whenever I begin to question things..
I know it‘s a hard time for u and u have to give yourself time, but you‘ll be fine at the end ;)
Hope things get better!
@@dorsa1773 I appreciate your response many thanks:)
@@dorsa1773 4 months later, how do you feel now?
@@xMikeyHardyx I feel a lot better now! The more time that passed the more I came to realize I made the right decision. Can‘t say I‘ve moved on completely, but I‘m definitely not the same person I was four months ago.
Crazy how time can be such a healer.
Thanks for asking btw:)
Everytime I have doubts, I watch this video to pick myself back up. Thank you, truly.
We hold on to what's more comfortable, this really made me open my eyes
There are so many women that I see that are pretty miserable in a relationship/marriage. To the point that I know they would be happier single than with their "partner". But these women are usually so afraid to be "alone". Those women usually feel more alone in those kind of relationshios than if they were single and focus on themselves and genuine loved ones. Choose to be happy. Don't give up on your dreams and goals. You still have a life. It is *your* life. Take control of it
I disagree. Don’t commit with anyone since that’s your case.
I'm saving this to watch every day for the near future ... As a reminder. I KNOW I made the right decision for the right fundamental reason after 20 years. I'm fearful, anxious and jealous but this video makes me understand I won't feel this way forever and it's part of the process. Thank you sooooo much!
I probably re-watched this video a few times now, and it's always at my weakest moment when I feel the most guilty for standing up for myself, my beliefs, my goals and my future. I feel so guilty for hurting someone that I once loved so deeply, but it really isn't worth all the pain and struggle and frustration that I've had to endure. I know there will be times when I feel lonely and I start to doubt myself and the decision that I've made, but this video serves as a tremendous reminder to me that I did the right thing for myself. Thank you I'm sure I will be watching this again soon and I am so grateful to @matthewhussey for making this video for all of us who need it
I've only ever had two relationships, but I ended both of them. I never had any doubt or fear or confusion about my decision. It was the right thing to do. My emotions didn't match up to what they felt for me and in my second relationship I needed it to be a lot more mature than what he was giving me. No amount of talking or suggesting could change that. I had to let them go, because I would be leading them on otherwise and I would be making myself unhappy. At first I did miss having someone to do stuff with, but hell you have friends for that, but really I never missed them and I never once doubted my decisions. And now I've met someone new, right when I was enjoying being single. I guess that's just the law of attraction or something :)
+JadeyFadeyMCR I wish I had your strength. You're amazing :)
Natalie P. Wow, thank you! :) I'm not sure I'm strong or anything, but it helps to have faith in yourself and your worth. No matter what people tell you. So I mean when I say: you're amazing too! :) (and so is Matthew Hussey)
JadeyFadeyMCR Thank you :) Let's be honest, confidence is sexy as hell! ;-D
Natalie P. Very true, that and positivity/ happiness is very apealing too!
JadeyFadeyMCR I don't think it's law of attraction.dont know what it is but I know what your saying.for me that's happened so many times.once the pain goes away,here comes another roller coaster ride.lol
That’s why I keep a list of why I left. I can read it in those moments of fear or pain. And then I remember clearly why leaving a toxic person was the right decision. True love, doesn’t tear your heart apart and undermine your self confidence. 💗
I need this right now. I just got out of a 6 years relationship just because my boyfriend is not motivated to occupy and jobless living at parents house for all 5 years . I have been waiting for him to get movtivated and work hard for our future and I just realized he's not going to do anything about it and I start to feel very miserable thinking about my future with him and breaking up is the only way since he told me he won't be the one I want him to be which is find a job
The main reason I fell
In love with him was that he was passionate , smart and sensitive but he stop being that as the relationship progress . Im just not happy with that person anymore
KN N Good decision! If a guy doesn't meet your expectations you don't have to stay there and feel miserable for all your life. Move on and follow your own path, and hopefully you'll find a man who tunes in with you.
KN N that's my exact reason too omg so lazy just goes to show how serious he takes u
KaiBlueSky I totally agree with you. Me and my ex were together about 4 years and he left last year around this time. He was jobless and very depressed with the situation. I always tried to give him motivation but it never really worked. He went back to his parents and still being very confused. I do miss him and his family a lot but I think it will be hard for him to change his personality.. I think I need to move on but it is really hard. Just he is back of my head though I am seeing someone and make me doubt if I am making right decision. I’m just trying to move on and hope I am not wrong and not missing him and his family anymore ..
KaiBlueSky omg I’m going threw that rn ! That’s why I left him but I miss him so much and us and it hurts so bad
I watched this after my first breakup and I'm here now watching it again after this breakup. It seriously helps. Thank you so much!
Liv Hudock,So sad to hear your story 😪
This video is a gift to me. I was going through excruciating pain and agony of ending a relationship with the love of my life and then learning that he's getting married to his best friend, and dying in some more agony , pain and crippling jealousy. I was torn between initiating the break up and knowing that my reasons weren't wrong. Took me a while to accept the hard truth, that I was right , even though every inch of my soul wished and tried to prove myself wrong. This video just reassured me of that. Thank you!
Thank you Matthew. I've been crying all night. And seen this video has made me stop and feel better. Thank you thank you thank you. I really needed to hear this. You make so much sense. Thank you for saving woman like me.
This video helped a lot. I recently(last week) confront my friend who I been friends with for 5 years about how I felt about the friendship. I was tired of putting the effort into friendship where my friend wasn't. He mostly just blows me off, make excuses, and just acts like he isn't interested in the friendship. So now I am not sure if we are friends or not but I feel like I done what I can and really hope to move on and live my life. It feels weird but I can pull through this.
Your talk is so valuable to me. I am a widow who met a man that was wrong for me. I broke up with him and I am staying strong but it is difficult to deal with the fears that bubble up in me that he was better than nothing. That is wrong thinking. I am 64 years old and have a life to live and a lot to offer. I am also an optimistic person and he had an underlying anger and victim mentality. I could see the red flags so I ended it. I stayed with him for a year and it was nice to have dates to look forward to and not be so lonely. I stayed too long hoping it would work and lying to myself. The struggle is real to stay strong and this video was a very big help. The Christmas season compounds it. Thank you. 🎄❤️
I took him back a month ago after I broke up with him. Two days ago I broke up with him again for he repeated a similar situation. I'm still questioning myself. The love I have is so great I keep thinking it'll help him. But I only get hurt...again. I hate that the doubt is still there.
yolanda verdugo are you with him now?
I went back 3 times he did the same thing, it even got worse...
wow this is one of the most useful things I've heard about a breakup 👏🏽👏🏽
Thank you so much for the wonderful message, Matthew. I know this is quite an old video, but I'm currently through a break-up where I had to make the decision to walk away from the person I love because like you said, the fundamental reason was there. It's been 2 months now, and those doubtful thoughts have been taking control lately. This video was really able to shift my mindset and remember the reason at the time and how important enough it was for me to walk away. Thank you again, for this.
I ended my relationship in the beginning of the month. I had given some space for my ex to work on things for himself. He however was being distant a lot even now its been a couple months and when I wanted to suggest I visit just for a good time he didn't seem keen. That was it for me and after three days crying I ended it, he didn't make me feel special and also put me below his family. I am glad I did this, I am a woman of high value and I deserve the effort I put in. I am very understanding as a person but he tested my limits. I actually stated a line you said that I'm not interested in being a penpal relationship/friendship anymore and I hope I am still there if we reconnect again. We were in a LDR and I had finally come to his country, I was making bold moves to make it work. He kept plans in his head but no actions so I thought why should I settle now for someone who isn't making an inch effort for me. I can only wish him the best, and for him to heal with whatever is going on with him. I hope he comes back but I will also try to move on. Infact I am having a date the end of the month. I truly loved him and I know I won't have this soul connection again with someone as its so rare to connect so well with anyone I find honestly.
Sunethra K you are so brave I wish I could move on just like you did I had the same problem with the family part but I'm too afraid to move on because he always controlled me for four years I feel so weak now but I hope I can get better by time 💔
Medo Jariody I never had a bad relationship, he was trying to focus on work but it was pulling me away for a long time that it becoming to a stage of no relationship if I let it continue. I'm one month post break up, it's hard but I am still not contacting. I miss him and if he values me he will come back I guess.
If it's not serving you and your young please leave if it's abusive. We have one life to make it correct hun. I wish you the best, sending you love. A man and woman should value one another.
Redmar Belle your very young. Is this due to cultural reasons for her not being able to spend time? Well it's almost two months. I called him and no voicemail. It's gone. So I just sent a text wishing he was having a good break and wanted to say hello. So his choice whether he wants me or not.
We can only do so much for people. We have to listen to our gut intuition and follow. Mine said to call for some reason, so I did and feel more at ease with his no response to be frank. Tells me so far that he still is in doubt which is a turn off.
Piece of advice. Never give your fill heart. Always keep 20% with you to forfill your own needs.
i'm exactly like u i found out that he was lying to me and ...I'm ending it right now at this moment :/
Sunethra K you will find an even BETTER connection with someone else. We are all human beings hardwired for love and reexperiencing deep emotions and connection. :)
I was dating this guy for 4 months and we had a talk about what we were or whether we were "official". I decided to leave him because he wasn't looking for anything serious and I could feel it that he wasn't taking me seriously even though I met his parents and the friends he grew up with, and even though he took me on dates and stuff. I realized that if i kept seeing him, I was just going to fall in love with him and I know it would hurt me if he didn't love me back. I'm glad I didn't invest too much time and energy into this guy but I was kinda regretting making the decision to end it so this video really helped! thank you!
your intuition was this guy was not that into you. do you think he was seeing someone on the side? my ex gf was texting me regularly after breaking up with me after we dated for 2 years. she said she needed space to sort out issues and as much as wanted to believe that , my gut told me she found someone "better". and i was right . i hired a PI and found out she was seeing this rich guy who works in her building for 6 months before she dumped me. she was obviously trying to keep me hanging on just in case her new bf and her did not pan out.
trust your intuition.
Exact same situation with me and a lot of other girls/guys. No need to waste time, and why would you want them anyway if they don't want you in return? I'm sure you're doing better now without him.... :)
I had a similar situation where I was talking a guy I really like but he ended up telling me he doesn't want a relationship now so I gave him a chance and said will wait for 3-6 months then we'll decide. Unfortunately, he started losing interest of me and wasn't making any future plans to see me. Once I felt that I was upset, I knew something wasn't right. The night I told him to stop talking, I was so scared that I'll lose him. He ended up letting me go. Right at that moment, I knew he isn't the one. I felt the pain and fear after we stop talking but it makes me realize that I wasn't trying to hold onto him but rather I'm just scared to be lonely and want a companion. Now I just focus on self-improvement, and learning how to deal with loneliness and be mentally strong so I don't need to rely on guys. :)
@@josephineh4391 bruhhhhh tell me why that same thing happened to me, he said the exact same thing and After I left him, I saw he was seeing another girl. Lmaoo what a loser
Wow, 7 years ago but so timeless... Thank you so much, Matthew. I've truly never seen better relationship advice.
I needed this SO much... my ex was absolutely toxic. I know I made the right decision, as much as I miss him and euphorically recall bits of the past that I know are not the WHOLE truth. We did not work fundamentally together. He mistreated me and damaged my self-esteem.
But I am using this strange period of my life to learn and to grow. For myself. No one else. I know that I will be okay
Thank you Matthew...every time that I think about him I watch this video and I know for sure that I took the right decision. thank you so much.
MECASOURME Stay strong! Did you already move on?
MECASOURME,Be happy ok cause the future is bright!
You have no idea how much your videos are carrying me thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and wisdom. You truly have a gift. Im a 30 yo woman who has been through a huge amount of trauma in my short life and i put in so much work on myself to live in the now and in peace and then 2 years ago my world came crashing down when i met the first man i ever felt true love for and at the same time was experiencing domestic abuse and serious manipulation. I put him first over myself at every opportunity and tried to show compassion and patience. I tried to help him and give him the tools to heal from his own trauma and as a result my mental health took a turn for the worst as he rose up. I tried to communicate that i needed him to now to be my support and he couldn't. He just pulled away. I feel ashamed of myself for not following my gut sooner. I have been through a huge amount of uneeded stress for someone that could not give me the same energy i gave them. I ended it today and im hurting like never before but i know im strong i will get through it. I have been watching your vids for 5 days and it finally gave me the courage. Thank you
Thank you so much Matthew for this video, you really helped me in crazily difficult moment of doubt. Leaving my boyfriend was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. We need to remember that we are enough without other person by our side. Xxx
Wow. I broke up with my partner of 3 years just 3 days ago. I was questioning and almost punishing myself for feeling sadness, loss and pain as I was the one who caused it. This has helped so much, thank you 🌟
Now how you feel??
I needed to hear this. I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. Now, I’m questioning myself if it’s the right thing to do. I must remember the fundamental reasons why I left.
1. He’s still talking to other girls. His dating app is still active.
2. I was invested more in the relationship more than him.
3. He wasn’t interested when I share stories. Felt so lonely even I was with him.
4. When I asked for space, he kept on telling me no. He would say he didn’t want to lose me and I believed.
5. He never ever apologize for hurting my feelings. He never acknowledged his mistakes.
I did the right thing, right? 😆
It’s never easy to be the one who is responsible for the break up but it’s a great reminder of this video that we can’t always trust our memories cuz it’s not that accurate.
Thank You!!❤️❤️ Im still crying and missing him everyday...but deep inside i know i took the right decision.
You are truly changing lives Matthew. I am going through a break up and you have no idea how much your videos are helping me. You are like a friend we all need to comfort us in times of doubt and pain.
in a time of need he always comes through with perfect content 🙏🏽
Finally a video about what I’m actually going through. Majority of the videos I came across that were so negative like “depression after the breakup and etc” Like why can’t we be happy afterwards. Thanks for your video.
So often youtubes are always about the people that got broken up with... hardly ever about the pain when you break up with some one. Thank you..
I didn't love him anymore. But I care deeply about him. And because of that the only thing thwt I could do was breaking up with him. Because he deserves the chance to be happy with someone that really loves him.
absolutely perfect timing. just left my husband sept 30th and starting to question now. i just saw your other video and subscribed. then just got this message. thank u. my gfs are making a bet on when my hubbz and i would be back together when this posted. he and i were married for 4yrs this past 9th of oct. and today is 5yrs and 10mos TODAY together
How did you deal with it boo..? Did you finally get back together ? Or it's done
I love the clarity you give me. The pain is excruciating at times - I love and miss him dearly - but it doesn’t mean I made a mistake. I did the right thing in breaking up with him. Thank you Matthew Hussey!
We all know being dumped by someone else is not easy. When we are dumped, we feel that it was the most painful moment ever. This video helps us understand why someone else dumped us. Matthew is a really great speaker. If someone out there is on the stage of being broken then I suggest they should try to watch and listen to Matthew’s advices.
I used to question my decision to break up with my girlfriend back in 2016. And I remember watching this video when I needed reassurance. And I'm happy to say that I made the right decision. That long-distance relationship intoxicated by her lies, depression, unstable feelings for me, disrespect and racism coming from her family were just not worth the pain. Now I'm with a wonderful girl and in a healthy (non-long distance) relationship and I regret nothing. I deserve to receive the same amount of love as I was giving out. I deserve to be a priority in one's life as she is in mine.
REALLY needed this. I have been struggling with so much guilt and second guessing and confusion after breaking up with my fiancé of 4 years. This was perfect, thank you.
I just had an anxiety attack because I felt I made the wrong decision breaking up with my ex and thought now I will forever be alone..then I saw this video and it really calmed me down ❤️ thank you Matthew
this video couldn't have come at a better time, just happened last night! ty Matt
Pia S how is your life now ??
He comforts my heart in a way no one had ever. Thanks a lot Doc ❤❤
just come across your video randomly. i am going through a break up and man i would never wish this type of pain on anyone. its been almost a month, we were together for almost 6 years living together and engaged.
Thank you for this video
Angie Ngalura im going through that pain right now too, relationship of 5 years. Hang in there, sending love your way
thank you so much for sharing your love and reaching out to me. i am in a better place now as far as accepting my new reality. Hope you are doing well right now. It only get better.
XOXO
what about now ? is it better ? i'm afraid that the pain will never go away.
Angie Ngalura did y’all stay broke up?
Did y’all get back together ?
Are y’all ok?
I need an update 😭❤️
Ending a friendship of 7 years with my bestfriend who was like my sister was the hardest decision I ever made. At times I still reminisce the good times but not so much the actual person. Good luck to whoever is dropping a close friend or significant other...you got this...just stay true to your decision!🙏😌
Sometimes things just don't stay the same anymore
It's a chaos and you should leave
Well done!
"it doesn't mean you made the wrong decision, pain isn't a sign you did something wrong, it can be a sign that this is a period we need to grow and we need to overcome a few obstacles, don't let it confuse you, don't let it deter you from the path that you know is right and always at all costs, resist the path that's most comfortable and leads you somewhere ultimately you don't wanna go"
You have no idea how much I needed to hear this right now. Thank you for being so caring Matthew!
Dr Steve can actually help you attract someone you really love the most and want in your life. He once helped me and can help you too. Believe me I'm not bragging or trying to make unnecessary comment here, this was what really happened to me. he helped me attract (Jeremy) the guy I love and wanted in my life the most 💞💞☺️☺️💞💞
Whatsapp him
+2347030894892❣️
Thank you so much for this video!❤
Everything you said was spot on! I have to put the fear and second guessing my decision to the side and trust my reasons!! "Fear comes from scarcity!" 🎯