@@BreakupBounce Yes, I deeply and intensely regret ending my 4 year relationship in February of this year (2024). There is a lot more I could say, but that's the direct answer.
I really feel like I should leave but as she says I also feel like I should stay. I just don't know if I am the type who can recover and reconcile after an affair. How do I forgive, how do I forget, how do I look at him and not hate him for doing what he did, how do I not be so angry??
@@monifareine2002if you stay after he cheated on you, you are lowering your self worth, you are showing that you lack self respect, self esteem and are desperate for the love, company, attention of a cheater. He isn't respecting you nor God. If he was a man of God, he would never have had, the audacity to cheat. Who wants a low level male as a partner? Many weak minded women play victim and stay but feel awful about themselves. Don't forget the STD's he is bringing to you as well. If you weren't angry you weren't a divine feminine. Every Goddess would be very angry. You can't forget, or you must have Alzheimer. You don't .. memory is in you for a reason. So you won't stay within abusive men. Put some respect on yourself and God. Don't every take back a cheater, they are dangerous to your physical mental and spiritual health.
There is no need of jealousy, we ‘ve never had “real problems” to fight about but we could never communicate properly, so smallest problem became a huge fight
Challenges in relationships are part of the journey, but there’s always a way to move forward. My own marriage had significant hurdles, but with the right help, my wife and I overcame them and grew stronger. With effort and cooperation, solutions can be found. Keep your hope-solutions are within reach.
I’m dealing with major issues in my relationship and can't imagine losing her. I love and miss her dearly and am prepared to do whatever is needed to have her back in my life. Any advice or direction you can offer would mean a lot to me.
Learning to let someone you love go is always a tough journey, but in my case, I had the wisdom of a spiritual mentor who kept my marriage from crumbling. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I'll swiftly look her up online. Thanks. I'm hopeful that following this course of action will bring about positive changes for me too; her absence is deeply felt.
I left my love three weeks ago. My anxious attachment style played a big role in this. But we called a lot in the time we were parted. I finally told him everything what bothered me and we communicated like we should’ve done before. I think love is the first step forward with each other. We both are willing to change our problems to be together. I feel blessed with a men that has so much patience with my inner struggles.
@ yes we are together now. We took a lot of time to talk about everything that had happened. We have language differences so that played a role to. Everything is now cleared up and we forgave each other. I will see what will happen. But I see that our love I strong so that will really help.
I have never regretted ending a relationship because if I have arrived to that point, I have tried to communicate and somehow rebuild a crumbling bridge. I do however regret not leaving sooner, usually.
@@adityatripathi9588 I tried as well. As they say, “it takes two to tango”. Did not work for me. In hindsight, it was a blessing. “Let go or be dragged”.
Great video! Unfortunately, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, and I still love him deeply. I can't stop thinking about him. I've done everything I can to get him back, but nothing has worked. I'm frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my best efforts, I can't get him out of my mind. I really miss him.
It's incredibly hard to let go of someone you love. I was in a similar situation when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't let him go, so I did everything I could to get him back. I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who assisted me in reuniting with him.
Woooooow🫢🤓😂I thought this thing of consulting to spiritual seers, shrines and prophet's it's only for us black people in Africa wooow this is so amazing 🤗
This captivating video triggers a flood of painful memories from the end of my 6-year relationship just three months ago. The woman I loved with all my heart chose to walk away, leaving me grappling with an insurmountable sense of loss. Despite my relentless efforts to salvage what we had, I'm left feeling disillusioned and unable to imagine a future without her. Despite my attempts to move on, I'm drawn to express my deep-seated longing for her here
I was message you and stupid UA-cam made me lose the entire message- so doing again. I am so very sorry, my friend. I know how it feels because I'm there too - but maybe worse because I'm the one who pushed her away - which I deeply deeply regret. 4 years. Do you have good, strong memories of different ways you treated her really well and showed love, tenderness, respect, support? Hopefully you do. and let those be foremost in your mind. You do not need regret, guilt, or shame on top of the pain. Can you tell us what happened? Are you still communicating or is there no contact? She is no contact with me, for the 2nd time this year, and it sucks. and even worse, because this time I think it's it. Did she explain to you why she left? I got some, but it was more a tearing apart. and frankly I think she was pulling some wounds and bad stuff in there that has nothing to do with me. I watch a lot of coaches on here too - like it sounds like you are. But if you can, get some counseling, meditate daily with the Calm or Insight Timer or another app. If you have friends and family spend time! Lean on em if you need to if you have them! Eat healthy. Exercise - even if you have to force yourself to get moving. I used to love cycling - mountain biking and road, but now I have to force myself to ride - because losing her presence, and this forced silence has sucked the joy out of everything! But when I do it anyway, or just a walk, I feel better from the exercise (endorphins) shrink the pain a little. Is there a chance you can get her back? If so, is she asking for you to make any kind of changes? Something got to be going on - I mean people don't just end 6 year relationship like that. What if anything was brewing? Hang on. This too shall pass, as it's been said to me - although I see no end to the pain I have faith! What can we learn from this. I don't usually respond to a brother on UA-cam this completely but something about your post made me want to be helpful for you.
If perhaps we let down our ego and quest for power and control, and seek more of understanding each other, we might live more, love more and have longer and more fulfilling relationships with our partners. The key thing is to always seek understanding.
I recently went through a difficult breakup. My five year relationship ended few month ago, and it's been incredibly hard. I still have so much love for my ex girlfriend, and I can't seem to get her out of my mind. Despite my best efforts to win her back, nothing has worked, and the thought of being with anyone else feels impossible right now. I know it might sound odd to share this here, but I miss her deeply and can't stop thinking about her.
I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without her, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring her back into my life.
If you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference. How did you find your spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with them?
@@SCnative64if you’re not ready for what you want or able to accept it for how it is, you get what you ask for without being able to handle it. I prayed for a girl like my ex but I was not ready to truly maintain the relationship. I let her down a lot and she got pissed at me, and small things became big and her anger blew up on me. I left bc of mutual disrespect. Mines for breaking boundaries and her for yelling and insulting me. She really was everything I asked for, yet I was not ready.
Power, trust and value = respect. If you give this to them yet they refuse to give that to you in return, the relationship is unballaced and SOMETHING must be done. Only you can answer what that is.
I got in therapy because my ex and I thought I was the one with the problems. I grew. It led to the downfall of my marriage. My ex didn’t grow and I outgrew him.
My ex-wife and I had the same issue. But what I learned was that we didn't grow the way we expected each other to grow. Our expectations limited our ability to grow together. Because we were selfish. This behavior fueled a toxic cycle of resentment and animosity. Our marriage lasted 10 years.
I currently have the exact same experience. My partner seems to mean well and is kind and thoughtful, but as soon as there's issues and things that he done that made me upset, he says I'm depressed again or that I need to get help. Which I have, and the psychologist told me to leave him. But it's still so extremely hard.
That just seems very self-absorbed. You took vows. Did he break his vows? How so? If not, why would one ever believe any commitment you ever make? How could one count on you, since vows were so easy to break? Til death do you part, or until you just no longer feel like it?
@@gbas76 l ended my marriage because of domestic violence. I was always walking on eggshells so to speak. Whatever l tried to change on myself was never enough or the right thing to do. Speak opinion - Not speak opinion. Visit people / have guests - Isolate. When he was drunk the physical abuse occurred. And then l had to have sex ' to keep peace' between us without any apology from him for his actions. Bad day at work - my fault. If someone is broken inside, they want to break you down too so they can feel powerful and in control. So NO the abuser will not change unless they go to intense and sustained therapy. Most abusers don't want to change because they refuse to be accountable. The world OWES them, their employer and colleagues OWE them, you and family OWE them.
@@elainec5333 l ended my marriage because of domestic violence. I'm one of the lucky who don’t have their ex stalking and killing them for leaving the relationship. In Australia, one woman every week dies by the hand of her ex because she ended the relationship.
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
I knew I had to end my relationship when I realised I was losing myself because I was the only one putting in the effort, despite numerous attempts to communicate how I felt.
Same. Except I'm the guy. I had high hopes for the relationship. But she would disrespect me at the end of dates. Even got nasty to the point where she said she had a nicer apartment than me and nicer car even though I have more in savings. Like why even be nasty like that? Then I expressed wanting to end it because she kept disrespecting me and I have standards. I wanted to talk things through that night but she texted me thst night "We had a bad night I don't wanna talk about anything anymore if you wanna end it that's on you." Makes me confused. So she doesnt want to end it but wants me to doit or what? Thought it's normal to discuss these things and work through them. Next 3 days she'd call and text me. I chose not to respond because all her texts were just self centered. Like a Pic of her scale saying she's fat and single now, thanks. Then updates about her buying steak that I taught her how to buy. Then about how she got a new job offer. Then even asked me for a huge favor about her car. Like why would u ask for favors and provide updates post breakup instead of talking about the relationship? Just feels so immature. She's the one who wanted a relationship Nd talked about marriage and kids pretty often. Why talk about those serious things but then just out the ending of the relationship all on me? Just want more people's opinions. Also there's incidents of her being shady/dishonest but I gave her the benefit of the doubt because she can do what she's wants on her free time. I just asked her for simple updates but one day she was just completely silent. Then we met up the following day. She said she didn't respond/call back because my text was "dry" when it was just me checking in. I also called her so idk how the text being dry justifies that. Also she said she was behaving that night.. but then later on she had some drinks she said she lost her debit card that night. And how she was drinking.. idk just mixed signals and contradicting herself. Idk if it's even worth caring anymore. Should I just continue no contact and move on or try to get some closure/clarification? Did she want me to end the relationship all along? If not why not try to talk things out? I'd appreciate your opinions..
@@justinava1675 Hi! I don't all the details about your relationship (how long you are in the relationship, how close you are, is it your first relationship?) and neither both of your personality so I won't give you any what to do. I can give you what my opinion on what is important for me. 1. communication: it sounds cliche but if neither of you are ready to talk over the things that bothers you it usually means that one of you are either scared of a bad outcome (usually the other person is not used to this situation and is very sensitive or insecure of loosing you) or they don't want to truly work on your relationship. The point of the communication is not to win and prove your point but to see of you can come to a mutual agreement or if you can try to learn to tolerate the other person behaviour without overstepping your values or boundaries. 2. effort: they care about you and they really want to put an effort to understand you and compromise or trying to explain you their behaviour not for you to change them but for you to understand it so you won't be later hurt you 3. honesty and trust: you can be in a stage where both of you are on a different wavelength due to various reasons and this can create an obstacle for your relationship. You cannot overcome this without having the confidence in your partner. You can and probably will have tons of doubts, but if one of you are too insecure or don't have enough confidence in the relationship and you have no support from the other partner then it is not what I think can lasts. Communication is the key but it must also followed by honesty, trust, respect, understanding and effort from both of you! You can see the pattern when people are asking about other people perspective, it is because they have some experiences but mostly because they are disconnected from what you are going through and they can see it differently. I believe you are capable of making your own right decision but to do that maybe give yourself the time you need to reflect on yourself. The truth is that we are selfish and we don't want to get hurt. When we find a person we think is the right one we compromise because we don't want to loose them to avoid getting hurt. But you have to see if the changes that the other person makes on you are positive or not (you will feel better, your family and friends will also notice).
Well, since you’ve asked… I ‘m not sure how she used to treat you so this might be completely biased though it seems to me that she was more into having a “fan” than a true relationship. Maybe her life story led her to be this way ir maybe she is just a imature self-centered human being… either way, maybe you are better off (?)
I have never regretted ending a relationship because if I have arrived to that point, I have trieddddddddd to communicate and somehow rebuild a crumbling bridge. I now feel ashamed of letting myself down like that and I regret not leaving sooner
I’ve tried everything. I tried changing how I look to fit his image. My manners. My morals. My talking habits. I just sit and wait quietly all day and nothing changes no matter how submissive and quiet I am
Ultimately, the human mind craves power and control, and when these seem out of their reach in a relationship, they act positional and resentful. They start to cultivate and develop a mindset that rubs them of the ability to see their partners' viewpoint, creating an endless cycle of chaos, misunderstanding, and endless fights, which in turn prevent them from harnessing the love and attraction that brought them together in the first place.
There is also an incredible learning ability that comes from looking inward for change first. It's immensely unbearable at times yet there is a strength that surfaces that no one can ever take from you. A strength you did not have before or it was hidden from you...like a volcano erupts so the undying strength surfaces. It's lingering, quiet liquid fire consumes all weakness from within. It's powerful. Emerging to the surface and covering all parts of the outer exterior - surely this is worth the interest. I am not certain what causes an individual to open their minds to such an endeavor, yet if you find yourself facing this choice, take the road less traveled. It's worth it! Do not turn back...! I say this "do not turn back" however, it's an unspoken attribute to the choice of going within to change....the strength you find will not allow your head to turn. It is no longer an option. Inner beauty and strength flows to all those who open the eyes of their heart. Be encouraged.
I see so many videos and articles like this, but I so rarely see any advice for the couples who don’t fight. What do you do when it’s just dead between you? Sure under the disconnection is unmet needs or unmet expectations but what if we don’t even know what those are we just know we are miserable inside??
I would say therapy here is your answer. Both individual and couples therapy. I say this because therapy is a great way to self discovery, which seems to be what you are both lacking. You will have to work on yourself and in getting to know your needs. This can be scary but will be life changing. It is possible that in the process of finding yourselves, you’ll find that you know longer like the “new” other person. That’s ok. It is possible too that you will be able to start anew on a more solid foundation and create something wonderful for you two. Whatever happens, know that the moment you start the journey things will never be the same again, it will be either the end or the beginning of your new marriage together.
Assume the problem isn’t the person you are staring at but the real problem lies within yourself. Someone else can’t know what you want if you don’t know yourself. Aslo realize not all of your needs can be met by your spouse and think about the fact that not every need you have should be met.
@ oh yeah for sure!! Already thought about that! Like a lot! Been trying to “change myself” for almost a year now with seemingly no progress with respect to feeling any more “connected” or “bonded” with my spouse. I pray that God will change my wants and desires so that I can just be happy with the way things are, but that’s tough too. Turns out it’s just not quite that black and white. But I shall persevere and keep trying!
@ If you believe in God and are willing to submit yourself to Him and His will, it means not focusing on praying to be bonded to your spouse or praying your feelings change. It means praying your heart is changed to a point where honoring Jesus is at the forefront of your mind. If you have an honest and earnest desire for God to be lord of your life, then you will begin seeing your spouse for the blessing they are and everything else will begin to fall into place.
I like how she questioned on the end. I think, maybe it’s just not the time that we able to be giving, if we are too afraid of the consequences. When we are angry still, it’s still close
The problem i had was no recognition. When the view of two people is different, i have a problem with the man saying that because he's the head of the family, his way of doing things must be followed. It's as if by getting in a relationship with them, you automatically lose your identity. These kinds of relationships still exist to this day...
I feel the same way. We can't be ourselves. We have tonlose ourselves to follow them. I truly have a problem with Paul and his submission theory. Who is made and created to submit to another human? No one
@IamBarati we ought to submit to God and God alone. The relationship between two people should be harmonious and in conjuction with each other's beliefs. Naturally as women we are helpers and it becomes easy for a woman to accept to be led by a man who makes her feel safe and in her feminine energy. The moment a woman feels unsafe she will challenge you and you need to give a good explanation and create safety for her... submission comes easy when a woman feels safe, she communicate, "I trust you", "I believe you and in you", "I am willing to help you"
@mariamjackson2994 sorry to hear this. I pray for a sincere revelation about the path you must take. I pray that the holy spirit should comfort you and that you remain still and know that God is in control. Moments like these bear a huge revelation about our lives. Pastor RC Blakes says "a woman should never be told to submit, if you have to tell her then you are not a King to her, submission is a fruit and honour is a seed. When a woman feels honored, submission will come naturally"
Great video! Sadly, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.
Letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. I went through a similar experience when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't bear to lose him, so I did everything I could to rekindle our relationship. Eventually, I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who guided us back together.
For years I couldn't decide. Cheaper to keep her but I decided to pay. The loss is money. I gave up on hopes and will lose disappointments and incompatibility
I ended a relationship quite quickly after he told me that he can't feel a connection while being intimate. "You are not tight enough. You are too slippery. Because of your weight issue we can't do certain positions." He didn't even realize how much he hurt me with those statements. I couldn't live up to the expectations he got from watching corn... Unfortunately, I still like him and feel like I made the wrong choice by leaving him, because in other situations he was very loving and caring. I'm telling myself that he was still just a little immature and brainwashed by corn, and that I should have stayed with him to work on this together. What a dichotomy...
@yesmylord3429 my Ex gf had bariatric surgery for weight loss prior to meeting me. The rapid weight loss leaves a lot of loose skin, and while us men are very visual creatures in the bedroom, I loved her deeply, and that and who she was made up for that - I told her that I cared more about the emotional connection and companionship and pointed to her heart. Her beautiful heart. In the end, we are broken up anyway and I have been having a VERY hard year because of it, and her now No Contact. She told me she and her friend are going to go to Mexico to get the skin surgery/plastic surgery done some time next year, and I've read that there is higher chance of contracting some type of bacterial infection over there- even if the surgeon was trained in the US or another very developed country. I'm worried for her, but she has removed herself from my life and there's nothing I can do. Hopefully all goes well if she does this.
Did you consider the feedback and think about losing weight? Weight is a trigger in the Male brain that the female is pregnant and sex is in vain. So physical appeal is important even if a friendly pity group tries to tell you otherwise.
@jcsmith7898 Definitly. I do not support that body positivity trend. Before I met that guy, I had already lost 16 kg. Due to weight training, I look strong/athletic. I will continue losing another 10-15 kg, although I'm actually already in a very healthy body fat range
The problem is that the attraction is only at a physical level. You need way more than attraction and chemistry to make a relationship work. Even love is not enough. Matthew Hussey outlines the 4 levels you need. The most important is Compatibility.
I was in a long distance relationship with a man I met from the Philippines. We had never met in person however that doesn’t mean our relationship isn’t real. He found out I cheated on him. I was not the one who came forward and told him about any of this. I know he truly loved me and I broke his trust damaged our relationship. He has already made it clear he wants to work on things and so do I but I also feel like I’m just causing him more harm just being around him. I know I’m not the one who deserves answers but if I’m willing to do this and hurt the man I love then how can I call myself a man and now just a person who still makes decisions of a boy? A big part of me thinks I should end it not because I want to but because I feel like he wouldn’t want to out of the fear of being alone or just blinded by love. I really just want to do right by him now. I told him and myself that this is it and it’s over but to begin with I also said I wouldn’t do any of this. My words mean nothing and how can I say I love someone when my actions prove otherwise? There is nothing I can say that would fix anything. I’m a deceitful, manipulative, and lying cheat. I’m in the Philippines now and I’m going to be leaving after Christmas because I really wanted to spend time with him rather than family to prove to him he is my family but I really just showed him how ugly my character is. I don’t deserve a second chance and he didn’t deserve any of this. I love you, Miles. I just wish I could’ve done right by you.
2:53- if he makes the same mistakes everytime and I react...shall I stop reacting? Is that change? I did that too...then I just explain him what he is expected to be doing by the society. We Indians think a lot about society. There are some things which are not acceptable in society and also some things not acceptable in a relationship. Usually in India- PPL get into relationship to get married one day and have family. ..as the situation ship, live in funda is not good for the mental health of any person I personally feel.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
It's difficult to let go of someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but I couldn't just let her go I did all I could to get her back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back.
And im here gaslighting myself into being like "oh so yeah, my belief system is that he shouldnt cheat on me or betray my boundaries" but he did grow up on a different belief system. His dad basically says all women are useless besides sex, homemakers (who should have their own paycheck of course because we dont like gold diggers) and children, and even then children are a waste of money. My relationship of 7 years just had an eye opening betrayal, and i immediately left, but we lived together so all my stuff was in his house, so i had to come back and get my things and we had to talk more and more. Its been 2 months since this betrayal and we both didnt realize how abusive the relationship was. Hes in therapy, working on his anger and lack of self awareness and extreme sense of self righteousness. We have considered couples counseling as he has really begun acting differently the last month, i can see change. Ive never seen him cry or get angry at his parents for teaching him such terrible things... But now hes waking up, he says. He was in a haze, a dream, coping. He tells me more about his abusive childhood, how people relentlessly bullied him. He wasnt a nice kid, he was rude too, he was straight forward. We are working towards a diagnosis thats leaning towards austism, adhd, and ptsd. But we wont know for sure until febuary. Its hard to put myself in his shoes but i should. He never put his feet in my shoes before, and now hes trying. He hates it. Its a lot of concious effort for him to think about how i feel about something. But i will tend to his pov too. I cant control what he does. I dont trust him either. We are rebuilding something. Its hard, its gross, its rejunevinating.
12 years married: the lies they tell you Chemistry is not important Love is a choice not a feeling You can learn how to love anyone Love always "wins" (one sided relationship) It's okay relationship hurts, you have to adjust and move on. God want us happy, chose wisely, relationship is to bring you joy and fulfillment, pain and hurt we get it from strangers and at work, not from the person you slept with.
If me and partner know that we dont have future together because pf some family issues, and we know that our families are not allowing us together, shall we end this relationship ?
I neee to end a relationship im in but due to my abandonment issues and such a traumatic child hood I can’t take the pain of the break up it feels like someone has died to me and I also have to be wait dor him to end it as he won’t commit i😢
This isnt even the problem. The problem today is that so many people dont even want to communicate at all. They just want to walk away and move on to the next swipe 🤦🏻♀️
Really Here my life no girlfriend,no lover,no wife in till now. Because I am short height guy and low wealth. No one girl like with me and not married to me. Really I am sad and facing many problems in my life 💔😔😭. I have pain fully my life.😢
Dont be sad, there is more to life than getting married. I pray to God that u may find a very good and loving partner for u, but even if that doesn’t happen, I pray that your surrounded by people who love u very much. I pray and hope u may find purpose in God and your family and friends
Honestly, I’m the same way and I thought it would for sure end when I got married. But nope, it really messed me up… not gonna go into too much detail but long story short, I wish I’d found out who I was without describing myself with a relationship. Marriage just amplifies all of the issues you may already have sometimes I feel.
Sry dear but from today on start feeling loved coz Jesus came to save all of us❤ and he has a genuine love to everyone so stop being miserable one day God will locate your soulmate who will love you unconditionally 😊.
I watched the video. Great! Look at the comments…a bunch of people who missed the entire point because their “choice” was “right”. Our world is a joke.
Too late she died 2021, cheated 1986 on me throughout the years 1968-1988 had a paper from the government..... Don't remember who broke our wedding vows/contact first......
Why do guys get to disrespect women but I have to be nice what is the god damned problem why do they want me to be super nice but it varies to the next guy. i said i have no problem being nice. but W H Y Why do they say be gentle. ALWAYS. They do not tell the other guy to be gentle.
Read the Bible , and understand positions in relationship between man and woman, bible is the key, God first before anyone, women’s submission is the one thing most women failing
You lost me at, "WE do the dishes!" If you have to do ANY chores around the house. Including rubbing one out, why are you then living with a woman. Might as well live alone if she refuses to carry out her role in a marriage. It'll hurt her more than you, especially if she's in her mid 30s and is a high earner. If she complains about the workload being too much, then get her a sister wife, and now she has help. This ain't a democracy, do as you're told or lead yourself!
I am so done with all modern day women i have been married cheated on lied to and used multiple times i have been hurt way too many times im single for life they are all the same trust no women
With the utmost respect, what would you say is the common denominator in *every* one of your relationships? In this very video, within the first 3 or so minutes, Esther says we are often so concerned with changing the other person when it’s so much easier to ask ourselves, “What can I do different/better?”
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Have you ever regretted ending a relationship? Or, do you wish you had left sooner?
No, no regrets of ending it. But I wish I hadn't even started my last relationship, because deep down I knew it would be fruitless.
@@BreakupBounce Yes, I deeply and intensely regret ending my 4 year relationship in February of this year (2024). There is a lot more I could say, but that's the direct answer.
Definitely should have left sooner 🙈
I really feel like I should leave but as she says I also feel like I should stay. I just don't know if I am the type who can recover and reconcile after an affair. How do I forgive, how do I forget, how do I look at him and not hate him for doing what he did, how do I not be so angry??
@@monifareine2002if you stay after he cheated on you, you are lowering your self worth, you are showing that you lack self respect, self esteem and are desperate for the love, company, attention of a cheater.
He isn't respecting you nor God. If he was a man of God, he would never have had, the audacity to cheat.
Who wants a low level male as a partner?
Many weak minded women play victim and stay but feel awful about themselves. Don't forget the STD's he is bringing to you as well.
If you weren't angry you weren't a divine feminine. Every Goddess would be very angry.
You can't forget, or you must have Alzheimer.
You don't .. memory is in you for a reason. So you won't stay within abusive men.
Put some respect on yourself and God. Don't every take back a cheater, they are dangerous to your physical mental and spiritual health.
Im very jelous of couples who’s main challenge is when to wash dishes.
There is no need of jealousy, we ‘ve never had “real problems” to fight about but we could never communicate properly, so smallest problem became a huge fight
Challenges in relationships are part of the journey, but there’s always a way to move forward. My own marriage had significant hurdles, but with the right help, my wife and I overcame them and grew stronger. With effort and cooperation, solutions can be found. Keep your hope-solutions are within reach.
I’m dealing with major issues in my relationship and can't imagine losing her. I love and miss her dearly and am prepared to do whatever is needed to have her back in my life. Any advice or direction you can offer would mean a lot to me.
Learning to let someone you love go is always a tough journey, but in my case, I had the wisdom of a spiritual mentor who kept my marriage from crumbling. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I'll swiftly look her up online. Thanks. I'm hopeful that following this course of action will bring about positive changes for me too; her absence is deeply felt.
I promise you will not regret it
@@BruceKnapp-n4qwhat happened with you guys? Is this her first time leaving your house?
I left my love three weeks ago. My anxious attachment style played a big role in this. But we called a lot in the time we were parted. I finally told him everything what bothered me and we communicated like we should’ve done before. I think love is the first step forward with each other. We both are willing to change our problems to be together. I feel blessed with a men that has so much patience with my inner struggles.
you said you have left? are you together now, how did you manage to solve your problems
@ yes we are together now. We took a lot of time to talk about everything that had happened. We have language differences so that played a role to. Everything is now cleared up and we forgave each other. I will see what will happen. But I see that our love I strong so that will really help.
I have never regretted ending a relationship because if I have arrived to that point, I have tried to communicate and somehow rebuild a crumbling bridge. I do however regret not leaving sooner, usually.
Did you feel you did everything possible to fix your relationship?
@@sf808opalaman Probably yes, otherwise where the regret comes from? 😊
Same
Well i am still trying to save it all alone 😅
@@adityatripathi9588 I tried as well. As they say, “it takes two to tango”. Did not work for me. In hindsight, it was a blessing. “Let go or be dragged”.
Great video! Unfortunately, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, and I still love him deeply. I can't stop thinking about him. I've done everything I can to get him back, but nothing has worked. I'm frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my best efforts, I can't get him out of my mind. I really miss him.
It's incredibly hard to let go of someone you love. I was in a similar situation when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't let him go, so I did everything I could to get him back. I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who assisted me in reuniting with him.
That's amazing! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I reach him?
His name is Fatherabulu, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can help bring your ex back
Thank you for this valuable information! I just looked him up online, and he seems impressive.
Woooooow🫢🤓😂I thought this thing of consulting to spiritual seers, shrines and prophet's it's only for us black people in Africa wooow this is so amazing 🤗
This captivating video triggers a flood of painful memories from the end of my 6-year relationship just three months ago. The woman I loved with all my heart chose to walk away, leaving me grappling with an insurmountable sense of loss. Despite my relentless efforts to salvage what we had, I'm left feeling disillusioned and unable to imagine a future without her. Despite my attempts to move on, I'm drawn to express my deep-seated longing for her here
What wrong u did?
Why did she leave?
You will be ok
Research breaking a soul tie Patricia King.
I was message you and stupid UA-cam made me lose the entire message- so doing again. I am so very sorry, my friend. I know how it feels because I'm there too - but maybe worse because I'm the one who pushed her away - which I deeply deeply regret. 4 years.
Do you have good, strong memories of different ways you treated her really well and showed love, tenderness, respect, support? Hopefully you do. and let those be foremost in your mind. You do not need regret, guilt, or shame on top of the pain.
Can you tell us what happened? Are you still communicating or is there no contact? She is no contact with me, for the 2nd time this year, and it sucks. and even worse, because this time I think it's it.
Did she explain to you why she left? I got some, but it was more a tearing apart. and frankly I think she was pulling some wounds and bad stuff in there that has nothing to do with me.
I watch a lot of coaches on here too - like it sounds like you are. But if you can, get some counseling, meditate daily with the Calm or Insight Timer or another app. If you have friends and family spend time! Lean on em if you need to if you have them!
Eat healthy. Exercise - even if you have to force yourself to get moving.
I used to love cycling - mountain biking and road, but now I have to force myself to ride - because losing her presence, and this forced silence has sucked the joy out of everything! But when I do it anyway, or just a walk, I feel better from the exercise (endorphins) shrink the pain a little.
Is there a chance you can get her back? If so, is she asking for you to make any kind of changes? Something got to be going on - I mean people don't just end 6 year relationship like that. What if anything was brewing? Hang on. This too shall pass, as it's been said to me - although I see no end to the pain I have faith! What can we learn from this.
I don't usually respond to a brother on UA-cam this completely but something about your post made me want to be helpful for you.
If perhaps we let down our ego and quest for power and control, and seek more of understanding each other, we might live more, love more and have longer and more fulfilling relationships with our partners. The key thing is to always seek understanding.
I recently went through a difficult breakup. My five year relationship ended few month ago, and it's been incredibly hard. I still have so much love for my ex girlfriend, and I can't seem to get her out of my mind. Despite my best efforts to win her back, nothing has worked, and the thought of being with anyone else feels impossible right now. I know it might sound odd to share this here, but I miss her deeply and can't stop thinking about her.
I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without her, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring her back into my life.
If you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference. How did you find your spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with them?
His name is Fatherabulu, and he's an incredible spiritual counselor known for helping restore relationships.
Thank you for sharing this valuable insight. I just looked him up, and I'm genuinely impressed.
She is so smart and explain things so clear. 😢 How I wish I get theraphy session with her.
There are only two tragedies in life:
1) you don’t get what you want
2) you get what you want.
So true. Acceptance with what is is true peace. Work on ourselves focus on me.
@khawajamazhar9188 why is #2 a tragedy?
@@SCnative64because you sometimes don’t know what is right for you but you still wish for it
@@SCnative64Because our hearts are deceitful beyond comprehension. If you don’t understand that you might want to spend more time in reflection
@@SCnative64if you’re not ready for what you want or able to accept it for how it is, you get what you ask for without being able to handle it.
I prayed for a girl like my ex but I was not ready to truly maintain the relationship. I let her down a lot and she got pissed at me, and small things became big and her anger blew up on me. I left bc of mutual disrespect. Mines for breaking boundaries and her for yelling and insulting me. She really was everything I asked for, yet I was not ready.
If hurt is felt constantly, have the guts to let go. It's hard but possible.
I second you dear
Thank you, i agree 100%
Power, trust and value = respect. If you give this to them yet they refuse to give that to you in return, the relationship is unballaced and SOMETHING must be done. Only you can answer what that is.
In the world of economic science, that loss is called "Opportunity Cost".
Well thats not economic science
Ego, masked as self respect is the killer of most relationships.
Very true
Maybe just try to respect each other instead of blaming the one who left as egoistic??
I got in therapy because my ex and I thought I was the one with the problems. I grew. It led to the downfall of my marriage. My ex didn’t grow and I outgrew him.
My ex-wife and I had the same issue. But what I learned was that we didn't grow the way we expected each other to grow. Our expectations limited our ability to grow together. Because we were selfish.
This behavior fueled a toxic cycle of resentment and animosity.
Our marriage lasted 10 years.
@@ffejkk37I'm sorry, this broke my heart as you both seemed to have been trying to make it work 😢
Growth is important
I currently have the exact same experience. My partner seems to mean well and is kind and thoughtful, but as soon as there's issues and things that he done that made me upset, he says I'm depressed again or that I need to get help. Which I have, and the psychologist told me to leave him. But it's still so extremely hard.
That just seems very self-absorbed. You took vows. Did he break his vows? How so?
If not, why would one ever believe any commitment you ever make? How could one count on you, since vows were so easy to break? Til death do you part, or until you just no longer feel like it?
Changing yourself doesn’t work in domestic violence. No matter what strategies you try, the abuser will not change.
The abusers has to change completely. That is the only path forward in an abusive relationship.
Not sure. How this is relevant to the video. But sure
@@gbas76 l ended my marriage because of domestic violence. I was always walking on eggshells so to speak.
Whatever l tried to change on myself was never enough or the right thing to do.
Speak opinion - Not speak opinion.
Visit people / have guests - Isolate.
When he was drunk the physical abuse occurred.
And then l had to have sex ' to keep peace' between us without any apology from him for his actions.
Bad day at work - my fault.
If someone is broken inside, they want to break you down too so they can feel powerful and in control.
So NO the abuser will not change unless they go to intense and sustained therapy.
Most abusers don't want to change because they refuse to be accountable.
The world OWES them, their employer and colleagues OWE them, you and family OWE them.
You can have enough self reverence to leave and go no contact.
@@elainec5333 l ended my marriage because of domestic violence. I'm one of the lucky who don’t have their ex stalking and killing them for leaving the relationship.
In Australia, one woman every week dies by the hand of her ex because she ended the relationship.
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Akunna, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is Father Akunna, he has great powers, he can help you.
I appreciate you providing this important information; I've just checked Father Akunna online, and wow, he's really genuine. Thank you so much again ❤
I knew I had to end my relationship when I realised I was losing myself because I was the only one putting in the effort, despite numerous attempts to communicate how I felt.
How did he act when you left?
Same. Except I'm the guy. I had high hopes for the relationship. But she would disrespect me at the end of dates. Even got nasty to the point where she said she had a nicer apartment than me and nicer car even though I have more in savings. Like why even be nasty like that?
Then I expressed wanting to end it because she kept disrespecting me and I have standards. I wanted to talk things through that night but she texted me thst night "We had a bad night I don't wanna talk about anything anymore if you wanna end it that's on you."
Makes me confused. So she doesnt want to end it but wants me to doit or what? Thought it's normal to discuss these things and work through them.
Next 3 days she'd call and text me. I chose not to respond because all her texts were just self centered. Like a Pic of her scale saying she's fat and single now, thanks. Then updates about her buying steak that I taught her how to buy. Then about how she got a new job offer.
Then even asked me for a huge favor about her car. Like why would u ask for favors and provide updates post breakup instead of talking about the relationship? Just feels so immature. She's the one who wanted a relationship Nd talked about marriage and kids pretty often.
Why talk about those serious things but then just out the ending of the relationship all on me?
Just want more people's opinions.
Also there's incidents of her being shady/dishonest but I gave her the benefit of the doubt because she can do what she's wants on her free time. I just asked her for simple updates but one day she was just completely silent. Then we met up the following day. She said she didn't respond/call back because my text was "dry" when it was just me checking in. I also called her so idk how the text being dry justifies that.
Also she said she was behaving that night.. but then later on she had some drinks she said she lost her debit card that night. And how she was drinking.. idk just mixed signals and contradicting herself. Idk if it's even worth caring anymore. Should I just continue no contact and move on or try to get some closure/clarification? Did she want me to end the relationship all along? If not why not try to talk things out?
I'd appreciate your opinions..
@@justinava1675 Hi!
I don't all the details about your relationship (how long you are in the relationship, how close you are, is it your first relationship?) and neither both of your personality so I won't give you any what to do.
I can give you what my opinion on what is important for me.
1. communication: it sounds cliche but if neither of you are ready to talk over the things that bothers you it usually means that one of you are either scared of a bad outcome (usually the other person is not used to this situation and is very sensitive or insecure of loosing you) or they don't want to truly work on your relationship.
The point of the communication is not to win and prove your point but to see of you can come to a mutual agreement or if you can try to learn to tolerate the other person behaviour without overstepping your values or boundaries.
2. effort: they care about you and they really want to put an effort to understand you and compromise or trying to explain you their behaviour not for you to change them but for you to understand it so you won't be later hurt you
3. honesty and trust: you can be in a stage where both of you are on a different wavelength due to various reasons and this can create an obstacle for your relationship. You cannot overcome this without having the confidence in your partner. You can and probably will have tons of doubts, but if one of you are too insecure or don't have enough confidence in the relationship and you have no support from the other partner then it is not what I think can lasts.
Communication is the key but it must also followed by honesty, trust, respect, understanding and effort from both of you! You can see the pattern when people are asking about other people perspective, it is because they have some experiences but mostly because they are disconnected from what you are going through and they can see it differently. I believe you are capable of making your own right decision but to do that maybe give yourself the time you need to reflect on yourself.
The truth is that we are selfish and we don't want to get hurt. When we find a person we think is the right one we compromise because we don't want to loose them to avoid getting hurt. But you have to see if the changes that the other person makes on you are positive or not (you will feel better, your family and friends will also notice).
Well, since you’ve asked… I ‘m not sure how she used to treat you so this might be completely biased though it seems to me that she was more into having a “fan” than a true relationship. Maybe her life story led her to be this way ir maybe she is just a imature self-centered human being… either way, maybe you are better off (?)
@@justinava1675run!!!
I have never regretted ending a relationship because if I have arrived to that point, I have trieddddddddd to communicate and somehow rebuild a crumbling bridge. I now feel ashamed of letting myself down like that and I regret not leaving sooner
I’ve tried everything. I tried changing how I look to fit his image. My manners. My morals. My talking habits. I just sit and wait quietly all day and nothing changes no matter how submissive and quiet I am
💔
I strongly encourage you to look up Natalie Hoffman and Leslie Vernick.
Leave my dear. Not salvageable
@@WNdabayou must be from South Africa 😂
@@dalllaking1422 😳😳 are you psychic? How did you know?
Power, Trust, and Value
Ultimately, the human mind craves power and control, and when these seem out of their reach in a relationship, they act positional and resentful. They start to cultivate and develop a mindset that rubs them of the ability to see their partners' viewpoint, creating an endless cycle of chaos, misunderstanding, and endless fights, which in turn prevent them from harnessing the love and attraction that brought them together in the first place.
Wow ! Amazing words ,amazing video !
Everyone need to see and hear it ! Thank you very much ❤
There is also an incredible learning ability that comes from looking inward for change first. It's immensely unbearable at times yet there is a strength that surfaces that no one can ever take from you. A strength you did not have before or it was hidden from you...like a volcano erupts so the undying strength surfaces. It's lingering, quiet liquid fire consumes all weakness from within. It's powerful. Emerging to the surface and covering all parts of the outer exterior - surely this is worth the interest. I am not certain what causes an individual to open their minds to such an endeavor, yet if you find yourself facing this choice, take the road less traveled. It's worth it! Do not turn back...! I say this "do not turn back" however, it's an unspoken attribute to the choice of going within to change....the strength you find will not allow your head to turn. It is no longer an option. Inner beauty and strength flows to all those who open the eyes of their heart. Be encouraged.
I see so many videos and articles like this, but I so rarely see any advice for the couples who don’t fight. What do you do when it’s just dead between you? Sure under the disconnection is unmet needs or unmet expectations but what if we don’t even know what those are we just know we are miserable inside??
Somebody please answer this
I would say therapy here is your answer. Both individual and couples therapy. I say this because therapy is a great way to self discovery, which seems to be what you are both lacking. You will have to work on yourself and in getting to know your needs. This can be scary but will be life changing. It is possible that in the process of finding yourselves, you’ll find that you know longer like the “new” other person. That’s ok. It is possible too that you will be able to start anew on a more solid foundation and create something wonderful for you two. Whatever happens, know that the moment you start the journey things will never be the same again, it will be either the end or the beginning of your new marriage together.
Assume the problem isn’t the person you are staring at but the real problem lies within yourself. Someone else can’t know what you want if you don’t know yourself. Aslo realize not all of your needs can be met by your spouse and think about the fact that not every need you have should be met.
@ oh yeah for sure!! Already thought about that! Like a lot! Been trying to “change myself” for almost a year now with seemingly no progress with respect to feeling any more “connected” or “bonded” with my spouse. I pray that God will change my wants and desires so that I can just be happy with the way things are, but that’s tough too. Turns out it’s just not quite that black and white. But I shall persevere and keep trying!
@ If you believe in God and are willing to submit yourself to Him and His will, it means not focusing on praying to be bonded to your spouse or praying your feelings change. It means praying your heart is changed to a point where honoring Jesus is at the forefront of your mind. If you have an honest and earnest desire for God to be lord of your life, then you will begin seeing your spouse for the blessing they are and everything else will begin to fall into place.
Going to listen to this on repeat, i just broke up with them. This is helping thankyou ❤️
This content really speaks to me. Thanks for creating something so impactful!
Very insightful. Things that keep occurring in my 20+ year marriage are beginning to make a little more sense
I don’t regret ending a relationship because was for the best that I ended it
Why did this hit my algorithm after my relationship ended
I like how she questioned on the end. I think, maybe it’s just not the time that we able to be giving, if we are too afraid of the consequences. When we are angry still, it’s still close
The problem i had was no recognition. When the view of two people is different, i have a problem with the man saying that because he's the head of the family, his way of doing things must be followed. It's as if by getting in a relationship with them, you automatically lose your identity. These kinds of relationships still exist to this day...
Omg you're speaking exactly what I am going through right now. See how I landed on your comment. I now know I am not alone. God bless you.
I feel the same way. We can't be ourselves. We have tonlose ourselves to follow them. I truly have a problem with Paul and his submission theory. Who is made and created to submit to another human? No one
@IamBarati we ought to submit to God and God alone. The relationship between two people should be harmonious and in conjuction with each other's beliefs. Naturally as women we are helpers and it becomes easy for a woman to accept to be led by a man who makes her feel safe and in her feminine energy. The moment a woman feels unsafe she will challenge you and you need to give a good explanation and create safety for her... submission comes easy when a woman feels safe, she communicate, "I trust you", "I believe you and in you", "I am willing to help you"
@mariamjackson2994 sorry to hear this. I pray for a sincere revelation about the path you must take. I pray that the holy spirit should comfort you and that you remain still and know that God is in control. Moments like these bear a huge revelation about our lives. Pastor RC Blakes says "a woman should never be told to submit, if you have to tell her then you are not a King to her, submission is a fruit and honour is a seed. When a woman feels honored, submission will come naturally"
@@IamBaratiPaul might be a false apostle according to the word of God.
Great video! Sadly, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.
Letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. I went through a similar experience when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't bear to lose him, so I did everything I could to rekindle our relationship. Eventually, I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who guided us back together.
Wow, that’s incredible! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him?
His name is Fatherabulu, and he’s an amazing spiritual counselor who specializes in helping people reconnect with their ex.
Thank you for sharing this valuable info! I just looked him up, and he seems impressive.
Great video, so well explained thank you for what you do ❤
For years I couldn't decide. Cheaper to keep her but I decided to pay. The loss is money. I gave up on hopes and will lose disappointments and incompatibility
That’s honestly a sad view on marriage and another human being.
*Every choice comes with loss.*
Power, trust and value 😮
I ended a relationship quite quickly after he told me that he can't feel a connection while being intimate. "You are not tight enough. You are too slippery. Because of your weight issue we can't do certain positions." He didn't even realize how much he hurt me with those statements. I couldn't live up to the expectations he got from watching corn...
Unfortunately, I still like him and feel like I made the wrong choice by leaving him, because in other situations he was very loving and caring.
I'm telling myself that he was still just a little immature and brainwashed by corn, and that I should have stayed with him to work on this together.
What a dichotomy...
So sorry.
You made de right choice
@yesmylord3429 my Ex gf had bariatric surgery for weight loss prior to meeting me. The rapid weight loss leaves a lot of loose skin, and while us men are very visual creatures in the bedroom, I loved her deeply, and that and who she was made up for that - I told her that I cared more about the emotional connection and companionship and pointed to her heart. Her beautiful heart.
In the end, we are broken up anyway and I have been having a VERY hard year because of it, and her now No Contact.
She told me she and her friend are going to go to Mexico to get the skin surgery/plastic surgery done some time next year, and I've read that there is higher chance of contracting some type of bacterial infection over there- even if the surgeon was trained in the US or another very developed country. I'm worried for her, but she has removed herself from my life and there's nothing I can do. Hopefully all goes well if she does this.
Did you consider the feedback and think about losing weight? Weight is a trigger in the Male brain that the female is pregnant and sex is in vain. So physical appeal is important even if a friendly pity group tries to tell you otherwise.
@jcsmith7898 Definitly. I do not support that body positivity trend. Before I met that guy, I had already lost 16 kg. Due to weight training, I look strong/athletic. I will continue losing another 10-15 kg, although I'm actually already in a very healthy body fat range
Sometimes the attraction just fizzles
The problem is that the attraction is only at a physical level. You need way more than attraction and chemistry to make a relationship work. Even love is not enough. Matthew Hussey outlines the 4 levels you need. The most important is Compatibility.
how quickly are we talking?
Well very handy seeing this as I'm in the underground on my way home after breaking up
Try to think of it as starting afresh.
I really liked your underground theory.
This was very insightful. Thank you
She’s really good
My god that was a powerful talk,I related to that in so many ways 👌
I love this woman and i love this video it says so much with so little. ❤❤❤
So much truths in just 10 minutes!
Two of my favorite people on UA-cam!
Hi could you help me out with her name on UA-cam?
Esther Perel
At least they’re not waiting until morning to do their dishes,
Values are not negotiable. I strongly disagree. A couple has to share the same core(!) values. Otherwise it is not a good match.
I agree.
True, i agree 100%
Big values yes- small ones not so much
I was in a long distance relationship with a man I met from the Philippines. We had never met in person however that doesn’t mean our relationship isn’t real. He found out I cheated on him. I was not the one who came forward and told him about any of this. I know he truly loved me and I broke his trust damaged our relationship. He has already made it clear he wants to work on things and so do I but I also feel like I’m just causing him more harm just being around him. I know I’m not the one who deserves answers but if I’m willing to do this and hurt the man I love then how can I call myself a man and now just a person who still makes decisions of a boy? A big part of me thinks I should end it not because I want to but because I feel like he wouldn’t want to out of the fear of being alone or just blinded by love. I really just want to do right by him now. I told him and myself that this is it and it’s over but to begin with I also said I wouldn’t do any of this. My words mean nothing and how can I say I love someone when my actions prove otherwise? There is nothing I can say that would fix anything. I’m a deceitful, manipulative, and lying cheat. I’m in the Philippines now and I’m going to be leaving after Christmas because I really wanted to spend time with him rather than family to prove to him he is my family but I really just showed him how ugly my character is. I don’t deserve a second chance and he didn’t deserve any of this. I love you, Miles. I just wish I could’ve done right by you.
Great explanation . I’m related to this video.
2:53- if he makes the same mistakes everytime and I react...shall I stop reacting? Is that change?
I did that too...then I just explain him what he is expected to be doing by the society.
We Indians think a lot about society. There are some things which are not acceptable in society and also some things not acceptable in a relationship. Usually in India- PPL get into relationship to get married one day and have family. ..as the situation ship, live in funda is not good for the mental health of any person I personally feel.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
It's difficult to let go of someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but I couldn't just let her go I did all I could to get her back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
@@kanereallcareful. This is a bot
But what if you like your operating system and really don't like the other's suggested system but they demand you do?
You are not single anymore. There are 2 people in the relationship and that means, you need to compromise.
And im here gaslighting myself into being like "oh so yeah, my belief system is that he shouldnt cheat on me or betray my boundaries" but he did grow up on a different belief system. His dad basically says all women are useless besides sex, homemakers (who should have their own paycheck of course because we dont like gold diggers) and children, and even then children are a waste of money.
My relationship of 7 years just had an eye opening betrayal, and i immediately left, but we lived together so all my stuff was in his house, so i had to come back and get my things and we had to talk more and more. Its been 2 months since this betrayal and we both didnt realize how abusive the relationship was. Hes in therapy, working on his anger and lack of self awareness and extreme sense of self righteousness.
We have considered couples counseling as he has really begun acting differently the last month, i can see change. Ive never seen him cry or get angry at his parents for teaching him such terrible things...
But now hes waking up, he says. He was in a haze, a dream, coping.
He tells me more about his abusive childhood, how people relentlessly bullied him. He wasnt a nice kid, he was rude too, he was straight forward.
We are working towards a diagnosis thats leaning towards austism, adhd, and ptsd. But we wont know for sure until febuary.
Its hard to put myself in his shoes but i should. He never put his feet in my shoes before, and now hes trying. He hates it. Its a lot of concious effort for him to think about how i feel about something.
But i will tend to his pov too.
I cant control what he does. I dont trust him either. We are rebuilding something. Its hard, its gross, its rejunevinating.
12 years married: the lies they tell you
Chemistry is not important
Love is a choice not a feeling
You can learn how to love anyone
Love always "wins" (one sided relationship)
It's okay relationship hurts, you have to adjust and move on.
God want us happy, chose wisely, relationship is to bring you joy and fulfillment, pain and hurt we get it from strangers and at work, not from the person you slept with.
Lot of good inputs..new perspective..thanks
21 years still in still wondering.
I don't want to lose myself
If me and partner know that we dont have future together because pf some family issues, and we know that our families are not allowing us together, shall we end this relationship ?
And these people will always paint us dark and blame us for everything in the world. God...the abuser is very irrational.
She is taking about anxious avoidant attachment i have
Wonderful❤❤
I wish my still husband would hear this!
1 always love more then the other. I'm that one currently.
I neee to end a relationship im in but due to my abandonment issues and such a traumatic child hood I can’t take the pain of the break up it feels like someone has died to me and I also have to be wait dor him to end it as he won’t commit i😢
This isnt even the problem. The problem today is that so many people dont even want to communicate at all. They just want to walk away and move on to the next swipe 🤦🏻♀️
Really Here my life no girlfriend,no lover,no wife in till now. Because I am short height guy and low wealth. No one girl like with me and not married to me. Really I am sad and facing many problems in my life 💔😔😭. I have pain fully my life.😢
😢😮😢😢
Dont be sad, there is more to life than getting married. I pray to God that u may find a very good and loving partner for u, but even if that doesn’t happen, I pray that your surrounded by people who love u very much. I pray and hope u may find purpose in God and your family and friends
@@celene8556 thanks you very much for your words 🙏🙏 🙏 by brother or sister.
Honestly, I’m the same way and I thought it would for sure end when I got married. But nope, it really messed me up… not gonna go into too much detail but long story short, I wish I’d found out who I was without describing myself with a relationship. Marriage just amplifies all of the issues you may already have sometimes I feel.
Sry dear but from today on start feeling loved coz Jesus came to save all of us❤ and he has a genuine love to everyone so stop being miserable one day God will locate your soulmate who will love you unconditionally 😊.
0:12 0:24 0:25
I watched the video. Great!
Look at the comments…a bunch of people who missed the entire point because their “choice” was “right”. Our world is a joke.
Wow.
Please what is the woman's name? The woman answering these questions.
Esther perel
What does one do with mad dogs, huh?
Who Is this woman? Can she be tagged to the video?
She is in video title
I wish I could talk to her personally
What’s her UA-cam? She’s highly intelligent on the matter
I’m so confused I need help guys😭😭
Too late she died 2021, cheated 1986 on me throughout the years 1968-1988 had a paper from the government.....
Don't remember who broke our wedding vows/contact first......
I feel people should be jailed for atleast a yr if they cheat,coz u legally married 2 sum1 n they breaking tht contract wen thy step out
Why do guys get to disrespect women but I have to be nice what is the god damned problem why do they want me to be super nice but it varies to the next guy. i said i have no problem being nice. but W H Y
Why do they say be gentle. ALWAYS. They do not tell the other guy to be gentle.
You not there anymore but you stay for children after 32, your married
Why speeding up her talk cutting out the pauses? It makes it stressful to listen to…
Hire help. Make someone else do the dishes.
This guy has creepy eyes
Read the Bible , and understand positions in relationship between man and woman, bible is the key, God first before anyone, women’s submission is the one thing most women failing
You lost me at, "WE do the dishes!" If you have to do ANY chores around the house. Including rubbing one out, why are you then living with a woman. Might as well live alone if she refuses to carry out her role in a marriage. It'll hurt her more than you, especially if she's in her mid 30s and is a high earner. If she complains about the workload being too much, then get her a sister wife, and now she has help. This ain't a democracy, do as you're told or lead yourself!
I am so done with all modern day women i have been married cheated on lied to and used multiple times i have been hurt way too many times im single for life they are all the same trust no women
Bitterness is a choice..
With the utmost respect, what would you say is the common denominator in *every* one of your relationships?
In this very video, within the first 3 or so minutes, Esther says we are often so concerned with changing the other person when it’s so much easier to ask ourselves, “What can I do different/better?”
Go find a woman from another country.
@@elled1321 good point
I am really sorry For you , but its not Like that, also we have to Set our bounderis, and continue even if is difficult ❤🎉
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him
His name is Fatherabulu, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
He is Fatherabulu has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked he up now online. impressive