Colourism in South Asia: the toxic lies about beauty

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  • Опубліковано 27 лис 2024

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  • @aryamahima3
    @aryamahima3 2 місяці тому +1585

    First of all Bollywood should start showing brown skin female characters.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому +114

      yes 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

    • @amanchoudhury8135
      @amanchoudhury8135 2 місяці тому +86

      Bipasha Basu was one of tjose but they never gave her proper chance .

    • @ifykyk679
      @ifykyk679 2 місяці тому +30

      Nah man. Bollywood is good as it is. As a light brown woman I feel like our representation is very less in the western world. Just watch any western movie who has an Indian character in it. The Indian will always be portrayed as really dark. The representation of fair skinned Indians is pretty less. So if Bollywood began doing it too then it won't be good for people like us.
      However they should start representing north eastern women more.

    • @shwetachate
      @shwetachate 2 місяці тому +139

      ​@@ifykyk679your argument is really bad. It's not that the west is stereotyping us. They usually have just 1 brown character (unless the show's mc is brown eg. Never have I ever) so they have to represent the whole india in this one character. I'm not saying it's always with good intentions cuz sometimes they just want a filler character with barely any lines as to make the show 'authentic', but many shows also hire brown actors cuz they actually appreciate skin diversity. Which is very much non-existent in India. We shouldn't feel the need to not change the history of bollywood favoritism cuz we think we have no chance in Hollywood or in favour of western media, that's just toxic. If Bollywood starts to treat people of different colours equally it'll also impact our society's standard of beauty in a good way too.

    • @ifykyk679
      @ifykyk679 2 місяці тому +3

      @@shwetachate tbh I don't really think it would impact our society's beauty standard, maybe it will to some extent who knows but people would still prefer fair skin over dark just like how people prefer curvy women over flat in almost all cultures.

  • @msammy6914
    @msammy6914 2 місяці тому +686

    I've never understood this because "Krishna" literally means "dark" or "black" and yet Hindus around the world love Lord Krishna. Same with Draupadi-consistently portrayed as light-skinned in all TV serials yet her real first name was "Krishna" and she was described as being dark-skinned and beautiful in the Mahabharata.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому +143

      Internalised racism 😕

    • @emperorlizZ
      @emperorlizZ Місяць тому +5

      Damn

    • @truth6074
      @truth6074 Місяць тому +12

      In kalki movie krishna is dark skinned

    • @somthing-tl1ld
      @somthing-tl1ld Місяць тому +2

      Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Krishna depicted to be blue because he was one of Vishnu's many avatars?

    • @msammy6914
      @msammy6914 Місяць тому +48

      @@somthing-tl1ld Krishna, Vishnu, Ram, and Shiva have all historically been portrayed as blue as it symbolizes divinity, all-inclusiveness, and the concept of aura.
      However, we rarely see Krishna and Vishnu depicted as being classically dark or black anymore, and this stems from issues of colorism in modern society (which escalated during colonialism/English rule).

  • @saniaav9400
    @saniaav9400 2 місяці тому +1427

    Im from south India and I'm brown and my own elder sister is really really fair. I think i happened to know that i was considered ugly when i was 10 yrs old, since then i became cautious and happened to hear with my own ears some younsters from our church talking directly to me and my sister's face how dark sania (me) is as compared to her sister, relatives whenever theres a function after seeing me would comment that i went even more darker, in church the elderly started selecting only the fair girls to greet the guests. I was very much lonely growing up because of my skin colour and because of my wealth status, i am from a poor to average family. But my sister grew up in a very different atmosphere, everybody likes her, everybody wants to know her , talk to her , like i have my whole life suffered with racism, favouritism and pretty privilage. Now i am 19 and trying really really hard to heal myself and to love how i look . Its really hard though🙃
    This is the first time I'm getting 1k likes on youtube comment....Thankyou so much 🥰

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому +178

      Your vulnerability is so beautiful 🤍 thank you for being so open & honest. I can't imagine the impact this must've had on your psyche growing up because even the littlest of things overtime can become very significant. I'm so happy to hear that you've taken the steps to unlearn a lot of what was fed to you mentally through other people's poor actions & words. I fully trust & believe in you and I hope you know that this channel is your safe space & I'm very glad that you found it 🫂

    • @saniaav9400
      @saniaav9400 2 місяці тому

      @@maryam_couture 🥹💖

    • @krii998
      @krii998 2 місяці тому +77

      don’t let anyone make you feel inferior or anything less than you deserve. As for your skin colour my advice would be to do nothing but praise how you look. Remember that insecure people are ideal targets for businesses to capitalise on.

    • @I_am_a_potato234
      @I_am_a_potato234 2 місяці тому +18

      Aww I hope you get there and I am sure you are beautiful in your own way

    • @saniaav9400
      @saniaav9400 Місяць тому

      @@I_am_a_potato234 🥹💫

  • @ihope2504
    @ihope2504 6 місяців тому +844

    My cousin who is almost white (she has very light skin and grey eyes) chose the cakiest white makeup which looked as if she had a coating of plaster of Paris on her face for her wedding. Like my father I have Indian fair skin and my mother is dusky. Every time I go to a family function with my mother someone would tell her: "she looks so different, as if she's not your daughter" while my face is a splitting image of her face. It's terribly disgusting.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  6 місяців тому +69

      this is so disappointing and sad to hear 🙃 thank you for sharing this 🫂

    • @geetagavin
      @geetagavin 2 місяці тому

      its disgusting how dark women are bullied by equally dark skinned men- what hypocrysy - have to say i ended up marrying a caucasian man cos i was not willling to put up with a toxic indian male

    • @DearBill
      @DearBill 2 місяці тому +5

      @@geetagavincolorism is in every desi community or it’s just a Hindu / Muslim thing ?
      Does Sikh, Buddhist, Jain , Parsi and Christian Desi are colorist as well ?

    • @MR-jq4qv
      @MR-jq4qv 2 місяці тому +47

      ​@@DearBill every South Asian and Asian and African communities in general prefer lighter skin tones....colonialism and marketing have done its work. It's changing in the current generation

    • @vismayavijoy4818
      @vismayavijoy4818 2 місяці тому +31

      My mother borderline enjoyed when someone told her this exact same thing. When people said she looks so darker than you/she didn't get your looks she was smiling rather than standing up for me. That was the first blow to my self esteem. Truth to be told , it was the Black women especially the artists that gave me the confidence to be proud of my skin & how to dress to flaunt my skintone. The black content creators of yt are the ones who helped me with the makeup /selfcare etc because our brown girls were busy trying every hack to turn white. That scene had changed much now❤

  • @akirazzzzzz
    @akirazzzzzz Місяць тому +388

    I am 16 and I have a dusky brown skin, I used to HATE myself when I was a kid, I used to cry in my mom's arms that why do I have a brown skin while my mom have fair skin and my dad has same skin as me (dusky chocolate brown) and all of my relatives and cousins are fair and I was like "am I adopted?" My own family used to say me "oh you should apply besan, dahi otherwise who" ll mary you" like c'mon wtf who says this to a 9-10 year old girl!???? But now I am trying to love myself and accept it but sometimes it still broke me into peices because the trauma is REAL!

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому +31

      this broke my heart 😕 I’m so sorry you were made to feel that way, I hope you know that this channel is your safe space & everything you say and feel is so valid 🤍

    • @akirazzzzzz
      @akirazzzzzz Місяць тому +1

      ​@@maryam_couture Thanks! 🥹

    • @Inyourarea198
      @Inyourarea198 Місяць тому +1

      Same with me too.

    • @alqamaahmad4632
      @alqamaahmad4632 Місяць тому +7

      I'm going through this I can't even cry and tell her how I feel she will just say you're so childish the tanned skin is making me hard for me to love myself

    • @amee__blue
      @amee__blue Місяць тому +10

      The fact that we dusky girls have cried buckets over some skin colour!!!.The pain is truly real.One time my mom said sorry beacuse she couldn't give ma a fair skin tone.By brother and all my cousins hava a lighter complexion.Sometimes I feel so insecure around them.This feels like a curse....Its always the closest people that hurt me saying that I'm dark.I pretend like it doesn't bother me...but it does.It hurts.I'm 18 and on the way of embracing my skin colour ❤.

  • @paulall221
    @paulall221 6 місяців тому +447

    Ah yes... this is also a thing in mexico, and I dare say in a big part of latin america... I've had people straight up told me they could never like someone with my skintone... and mind you, I'm not even that dark, I'm just not european white... It's pretty crazy.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  6 місяців тому +58

      this is such a global problem 🫠

    • @acoco251
      @acoco251 Місяць тому +11

      Yeah. In think its also due to having what are considered native features. So even if you're light skin but have native features you'll still be considered somewhat dark. It's especially hard for those with both dark skin and native features.

    • @babuszkot
      @babuszkot 13 днів тому +1

      ​@@acoco251 as an European (Polish, to be exact) I find native beauty so pretty

  • @sharanyafromgermany
    @sharanyafromgermany 6 місяців тому +411

    This is so true! This duality lies in every aspect be it food, clothing and skin tone. The craze for sun tanning abroad is massive yet they would only call us exotic women for having the same colour.

  • @ImVeryBoredPlzHelp
    @ImVeryBoredPlzHelp Місяць тому +110

    As an Indian with white skin, I totally get it. I’ve seen the struggles my cousins and friends face because of this insane colorism. I went to India after 7 years (now I’m a teen) all anyone would ever say about me to my mom is “You’re daughter is so fair, her hair is light too! She looks like a princess!” Or “She’s so white, you’re so lucky to have a daughter like that!” And I’m sick and tired of hearing it. Like there’s more to me than the color of my skin/hair. And my poor cousins always tell me “I wish I was white as you so people would like me better.” It breaks my heart.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому +20

      It’s genuinely so ingrained into everyone’s psyches 🙃

    • @bevs9995
      @bevs9995 15 днів тому

      whats your background?

    • @RxlredE
      @RxlredE 11 днів тому

      Bruh.. You're one of those girls who says beauty doesn't matter when you are already beautiful. 😂 Its like rich people saying money doesn't matter. You can only say it when you have it. If you want them to know or notice you by other traits.. be a surgeon or something. Bc skill is something you're not born with.

    • @brie4447
      @brie4447 6 днів тому +1

      ​@@RxlredEtf, when did she ever gave the 'beauty doesn't matter girl' vibe?
      Huh
      You're complaining as if she just motivated everyone while she suffered too..

  • @YouCanCallMeTheIndianGirl
    @YouCanCallMeTheIndianGirl 2 місяці тому +1093

    Also not to forget that most people who invaded South Asia like the Mughals and the Britishers were from colder regions and hence had white skin and made us especially our women feel inferior about themselves.
    This is a really imp point too, should have been include in your vid, no hate BTW love that you are pointing out the fact that such industries are taking advantage of people's insecurities and introducing beauty standards that never existed or were only introduced by outside forces

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому +68

      Thank you for your comment & your support 🫶🏽. That is a very good point!

    • @cinnow
      @cinnow 2 місяці тому +56

      Mughals didn't have "white" skin. They were lighter than the local South Asians but not Caucasian by any means. Hence the Mughal' s desire to have white concubines from modern day Eastern Europe in their harems.

    • @YouCanCallMeTheIndianGirl
      @YouCanCallMeTheIndianGirl 2 місяці тому +40

      @@cinnow sure, I still don't see how your point defends the fact that Mughals did establish "fair skin" beauty standards for South Asian people, also have you actually seen the Muslim people (not from India) from rest of the world, especially regions like Afghanistan, particularly due to the weather of the cold and dry mountains, they are pretty fair skinned.
      No offence to any Muslim people BTW, I am just pointing out certain facts to connect the history of Mughals.

    • @YouCanCallMeTheIndianGirl
      @YouCanCallMeTheIndianGirl 2 місяці тому +4

      The Mughals were from Afghanistan, Babur came from Kabul.

    • @user-jt3dw6vv4x
      @user-jt3dw6vv4x 2 місяці тому +37

      @@YouCanCallMeTheIndianGirl Well South Asia is a large region, it also consists of Nepal, Bhutan, Sri Lanka and the Maldives, places that were not colonised by the Mughals or the British (in the case of Nepal and Bhutan) and yet the fair skin beauty ideal still exists. The reason is because these ideals emerged long before anybody invaded or colonised the region.

  • @mennaelgendy_
    @mennaelgendy_ 2 місяці тому +208

    We struggle from the same issue here in the middle east, like we're LITERALLY vertically under the sun like 98% of us are brown !!
    Yet still an issue for women no matter even if you're on the beauty standards in terms of body and face features, it's still not enough because of your skin color and you'll grow up listening all the time about how men want a white girl

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому +20

      Thank you for sharing this angel, it’s so unfortunate to see how this is a global issue 🌍

    • @alltheleavesarebrownn
      @alltheleavesarebrownn Місяць тому +22

      It just proves how stupid all this skin colour business is. I have the complete opposite experience of you, I'm ginger and pretty much as white as paper and grew up in the UK where it rains most days and the average temperature is 15C. I used to get made fun of for how pale I was in school and told that men only liked darker skinned/tanned girls. Colourism is seriously one of the most stupid things humans have ever invented.

    • @mennaelgendy_
      @mennaelgendy_ 29 днів тому +2

      @@alltheleavesarebrownn
      Wow !! Thank you for sharing cause I've never thought the opposite of my experience would be a thing! That really shows that no one is the problem it's just stupid standards, I'm so sorry that you went through this, Literally in my country every girl dreams to be a ginger, Colourism is crazy!!!

    • @mennaelgendy_
      @mennaelgendy_ 29 днів тому

      @@areejashraf7413
      I can't believe that I'm going say that but what has helped me to love my skin color is to read the comments on the Kardashians IG posts. This family purposely tan to look sexy so that helps from my experience

    • @alltheleavesarebrownn
      @alltheleavesarebrownn 29 днів тому +3

      @@mennaelgendy_ oh dam I didn’t realise anyone wanted to be ginger 😭 I used to get “ginger” shouted at me almost daily in the hallways…. charming I know lol. And no problem, colourism is seriously crazy 🥲🥲

  • @gg-ux8kj
    @gg-ux8kj 5 місяців тому +425

    I actually disagree that western beauty standards are tanned skin.I mean yes they like tanned white girl but people don’t really prefer darker skinned women 😢

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  5 місяців тому +123

      Thanks for your comment! ☺️ you are correct, however the point I made was that tanned skin (in some ways) is still desirable on white women while it is the completely opposite in South Asia ❤️

    • @jessierasberry3082
      @jessierasberry3082 Місяць тому

      Tanned skin isn’t the same as dark skin. Interestingly, POC celebrities and white celebrities that fit the beauty standard have similar skin tones, only a few shades different than each other in some cases. Being tan is 100% a standard for white women, it’s not even up for debate as it’s so blatantly obvious. Pale people get referred to as “pasty” “sickly” and “Casper”.
      Nowadays it’s mostly about money imo-harder to sell products to white women if you don’t tell them tan is in, and it’s harder to sell products to WOC if you don’t tell them they need to be lighter. The beauty industry wants *everyone’s* money.

    • @hadronoftheseus8829
      @hadronoftheseus8829 Місяць тому +9

      American white guy here, and I can assure you that _many_ of us do.

    • @VBoo459
      @VBoo459 Місяць тому +48

      it is tanned skin, but its tanned skin on white girls. A stupid thing really. But naturally tanned women...its like oh no, she's actually born with the skin tone I desire LOL

    • @hadronoftheseus8829
      @hadronoftheseus8829 Місяць тому

      @mlnaxs I promise you that is not true.

  • @maybeashima
    @maybeashima Місяць тому +79

    Omg living in india as a BROWN girl is HARD i literally stopped wearing white on me because i thought that made my skin look even darker, everytime i came from school i used to check how much tanning i got and had breakdown almost everyday I literally hated me, still its lingering the insecurity ong

    • @alqamaahmad4632
      @alqamaahmad4632 Місяць тому +1

      Relatable!

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому +2

      This breaks my heart 😔

    • @Hi_Akari
      @Hi_Akari Місяць тому +9

      I relate so much cuz i am a South indian but i live in North india and their skin is lighter than mine and they even point out my dark skin sometimes and i also stopped wearing light coloured clothes on me and prefer to cover my skin completely... Its so hard and annoying

    • @manasac3102
      @manasac3102 24 дні тому +2

      Lol don't think it's easy to live anywhere in the world. Even in the West and Europe, most guys don't pick South Asian or black girls. That's why most single women are usually black and South Asian women end up with South Asian men eventually. Seen the dating scene in the West myself and with other South Asian friends n we are above average looking, easily a 7-8 in South Asia. White guys like white girls tanned skin which is wayyy lighter than average brown skin tone. It actually equals our North Indian pahadi skin tone. That's the equivalent of tanned skin for them. We have an option of going for a 4-5 rated white guy or 7-8 rated Indian guy. I learnt second option is better, as it also comes with more commitment, relatibility etc.

  • @dalila3398
    @dalila3398 4 місяці тому +232

    I believe it's because tanned skin is seem like a costume that you can take away once you don't like and you are light again.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  4 місяці тому +38

      I hear you about the accessory bit

    • @madlie2452
      @madlie2452 2 місяці тому +27

      This is the perfect explanation. Tanning is a natural byproduct of sun exposure that goes away eventually. Even fake tans do not damage the skin and easily come off, while the opposite can’t be said.

    • @tragicallyhoney
      @tragicallyhoney Місяць тому

      No lmao, just means you go on vacations

    • @madlie2452
      @madlie2452 Місяць тому +1

      @@dv6738 In what way? It’s literally the equivalent of makeup. So unless you have a problem with people wearing makeup…

  • @cristinalopezpalazon6228
    @cristinalopezpalazon6228 2 місяці тому +141

    As you said everything is marketed to make you feel insecure of what you don't have. I'm from Spain and I would say here the beauty standard is being tanned. We are not that dark here but many people are naturally tanned. I've received many comments throughout my whole life like "Oh you are so pale'' and not as a compliment. I love tan skin but I've just accepted I'm pale. So sad wanting to make someone pale when there's no need to change one's colour. Getting a fake tan it's not good for your skin and these lighteing creams do not seem much safe for the skin either. It's crazy how beauty standards vary in each part of the world.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому +14

      Hey hun, thanks for sharing this! And yes, it's so true. I'm happy to hear that you're conscious of these messagings and no longer feel the need to change who you are because pale skin is also beautiful ❤️

    • @morganlefay195
      @morganlefay195 2 місяці тому +7

      Spanish pale girl here; same experience

    • @AK.AK.12
      @AK.AK.12 Місяць тому

      Spanish people are pretty dark

  • @AnotherSkyTV
    @AnotherSkyTV 2 місяці тому +178

    This is absolutely insane. I'm white. Believe or not, I've been bullied in school in my country for being porcelain skinned because that looks sickly, etc. Also in my country people hate their natural hair color, which is often 'mousy' brown / 'dishwasher' blonde, all kinds of weird names, it's basically a color that changes, kinda. In some light it can appear brown, in some blonde. Polish people hate it and dye it intense, even colors so it's one color like bleached blonde, black, red. I'm the only woman in my family with undyed hair lol. If you compare with Japan for example, their hair is naturally black but there's lots of dyes available with these muted, light hair colors. It's literally like you can't enjoy what you naturally have, you have to blow all your money on completely changing yourself! I'm in Sri Lanka now, got so confused and creeped out by brown friend comparing our skin colours... I tried to explain it's fine, you look like this because you're from tropical country but people just don't listen, it's very deep rooted. Hope you don't mind me commenting on this video, the issue seems to be worldwide.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому +29

      That is actually insane, I had no idea that it could go all the way to the actual shade of hair 🫠. Thanks for your comment! 🫶🏽

    • @katitadeb
      @katitadeb Місяць тому +28

      Not comparable at all, being pale or tanned you still have "white privilege", in the rest of the world your skintone literally dictates your future and your value as a person

    • @ripvanwinkle6557
      @ripvanwinkle6557 Місяць тому +4

      ​@@katitadebSo what's your solution? Curious.

    • @poopstinky2547
      @poopstinky2547 Місяць тому

      This is sad, but not as extreme compared to colorism. Colorism has comparitavely had much more of a negative impact on the world, and in soceities around the world. People are dehumanized, treated as lesser human beings ,etc. It is simply not comparable.

    • @olzhena9681
      @olzhena9681 Місяць тому +6

      @@katitadeb. How “white privilege” can help (in USA for example) when you have to work up to 60 hours in Amazon and lift up 50 pounds??? And some “brown” girl came to me and said that’s because I am the only “crazy Russian girl” who’s willing to work hard. It’s easy to play “victim card” in our days than work harder. But I believe this video was about a beauty standards in South Asia. I think all problems come from our mindset in first place. 🙌

  • @Rebecca-x
    @Rebecca-x 6 місяців тому +70

    I remember I went tanned more deeper than I am when I was in NY for the summer and so I got so many weird people trying to make me feel bad for having more of tanned skin/ deeper skin than I had before if that makes sense. It got to me eventually and it made me believe i was ugly. I reframed my mind and realised that those people who said messed up things about my skin colour are colourists and deeply insecure about themselves. Thank goodness I came to that realisation sooner than later. Even two years ago I went on holiday and went deeper. The same thing happened but like I keep saying the people who say these things are ignorant

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  6 місяців тому +5

      omg thanks so much for sharing this girl! i’m so happy to see that you maintained your beliefs and didn’t let anyone else project their own insecurities & racist feels towards you ❣️

  • @NoRiceToEat
    @NoRiceToEat 2 місяці тому +198

    Colonialism played a big role in this!
    Ancient Indians were very pro dark skin to the levels of singing songs in the praise of their dark skinned gods, namely Krishna and Ram. One of the most beautiful women in ancient Indian scriptures was Draupadi who was dark skinned!
    Colonialism and colonial ideas about beauty have ruined that part of south asia as a whole. It’s sad.
    Caste system doesn’t have much to do with that since some of the highest caste people can also be dark skinned.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому +5

      Thanks for sharing this! ✨☺️

    • @AK.AK.12
      @AK.AK.12 Місяць тому +16

      Caste system is literally based on race. Though obviously “upper caste” people can be dark because they too have plenty of native genes.

    • @divineflu34567
      @divineflu34567 Місяць тому +6

      Ancient indians had favoured features like lotus eyes.

    • @LizaaFernando
      @LizaaFernando Місяць тому +12

      also, it is quite ironic because some colonists found the dark goldish skin very attractive.

    • @aqualord6285
      @aqualord6285 Місяць тому +18

      ​@@AK.AK.12wtf!! Caste system is based on race. Like how?? Do you know what race actually is?? Caste system was a social order not race based segregative model. India wasn't Europe. Get your facts right

  • @minervarose7664
    @minervarose7664 6 місяців тому +81

    Awesome video with great points. I would like to add a bit of context re. skin colour in the West. It is essentially true that tanning was desirable, as it indicated one was rich enough to go on vacation to a tropical climate. However if we go further back, say to the 1950s and before - white skin was very desirable even in the West, for the same reason you mentioned - it indicated one had the luxury to be indoors and not have to work in the sun. This was the "idle rich" or "gentleman class" as opposed to the "working class". "Lily-white skin" was highly praised in women.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  6 місяців тому +17

      thanks for your comment! and yes you’re very correct ☺️ white skin was always desirable also in the west but only difference is that they made tan skin desirable on themselves only when it suited

    • @Mimi-ht6xr
      @Mimi-ht6xr Місяць тому +1

      These days tanned skin is considered exotic and mixed race women, Latinas, and whoever else are considered beautiful ❤

  • @Ishita-cl5gp
    @Ishita-cl5gp 2 місяці тому +69

    i'm north indian(punjab) but i have darker skintone. nobody said i was ugly instead they say oh u know your aunt also had darker skintone when she was teenager but now she is gori. they say its fine u r smart. my teacher said r u south indian, i love south indian food so i would bring it to school so i assumed it was becaus of that reason but i asked her and her answer was because of ur looks. first i was very happy but months later i realized what she meant. its really sad. btw im 15

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому +15

      The subtle comments are really passive aggressive and they can hurt when you realise their deeper meaning. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to experience this but I’m also very proud of you for speaking your mind & being able to differentiate between right & wrong 💓

    • @ShinySubroi
      @ShinySubroi Місяць тому +2

      Hi! I know that I'm a month late
      But my experience is also similar, I'm also dark skinned & a punjabi
      I remember that my hindi teacher directly assumed from the colour of my skin that I wasn't a North Indian but a south Indian.

    • @Ishita-cl5gp
      @Ishita-cl5gp Місяць тому

      @@ShinySubroi omg, this is genuinly so annoying

    • @dilsedesi1704
      @dilsedesi1704 Місяць тому

      I have faced this too but never in school or by a north Indian. In college many South Indians said that they thought I was a south Indian too because of my skin color. A lot were surprised when I told them that I was a Punjabi. And I asked this question to my friends that if they thought same too when they first met me and all said No because of the way I am. I am too animated, a little loud, quite a bubbly person so they all knew I was a Punjabi. And I was shooketh

    • @anaesthete5592
      @anaesthete5592 29 днів тому

      ​@@dilsedesi1704 no offence but the stereotype mostly propagated by North Indians themselves especially Punjabis

  • @Galaxia2025
    @Galaxia2025 Місяць тому +33

    I’m from the Middle East and I really appreciate you talking about this topic so for me I’m more brown or tan you could say , and in my society like literally my extended family would keep pointing out that person is beautiful because they’re white and they keep saying horrible things like that so I became so insecure and began comparing my skin color to other people , also the thing that makes me even more insecure is the fact that I’m the darkest skin compared to my siblings mostly due to the fact that my mom is whiter but my dad is darker skinned in conclusion I feel like this topic is a bit sensitive to me especially since I live in a society that assumes that white = beautiful other than that you’re considered ugly 😔

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому +4

      Thanks for your comment my lovely 🤍 it genuinely makes me so had that you've been made to feel this way, it is so wrong & unfair. I hope you know that your skin does not dictate your beauty one bit. This channel is your safe space, I hope this video made you feel seen & heard 🫂

  • @LizaaFernando
    @LizaaFernando Місяць тому +56

    I'm Sri Lankan, and you are so right!
    When I was very young, around 10 or 11 years old, I started to realize how my complexion was darker than my mother's. As a perfectionist, I felt that being brown was an imperfect feature to have. I've overheard relatives commenting on how a bride looked better with makeup because she was brown, and without it, she wasn't attractive. I also noticed that the white makeup they suggested made us look like we were embalmed or something. It's disheartening to see little girls grow up loving and yearning for white skin when white people intentionally bask in the sun to get a tan. It's truly sad because people don't understand how beautiful and elegant our natural colour is.
    My mother played a significant role in making me realize that I don't need to aspire to be white. She never allowed me to apply anything other than baby cream. She cautioned me against using anything harmful and not to fall for the advertisements shown on TV. I'm incredibly grateful to her because she gave me hope. When I was about 14, I came across content created by South-Asian girls and fell in love with how confidently they carried their skin colour, which made me proud of my own skin.
    You may not realize this, but content creators like you inspire a lot of people. You make them feel comfortable and happy with who they are. So, THANK YOU for creating such amazing content and making the effort to counteract the negative impact of the media and society.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому +7

      Aww, the last paragraph is genuinely so heartwarming, thank you for your kind words! 🤍 and I’m so happy to hear that you’ve had such an incredible mother who shielded you from all the nonsense that the media spreads, more power to both of you 🫶🏽

    • @EyalNahum2004
      @EyalNahum2004 23 дні тому +1

      @@LizaaFernando Whatever happens, at the end of the day "white is better" in Sri Lanka. That's the bitter truth

    • @LizaaFernando
      @LizaaFernando 22 дні тому

      @@EyalNahum2004 Ikr 🥲

    • @shakesinthehouse
      @shakesinthehouse 21 день тому +2

      sis, I only stopped hating my skin when I moved to a white country. smh.

  • @seenaantony6463
    @seenaantony6463 Місяць тому +54

    Nowadays a lot of north indians comment kalu whenever they see a south indian and says its just a joke and also they say dark skin is so ugly like why they think like that in south everyone is mixed and beautiful in there own way I am from south but I have light skin still it makes me so sad and angry when they make fun of my people.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому +16

      It's honestly such disgusting & shameful behaviour 🤦🏽‍♀️

    • @irenelopez3235
      @irenelopez3235 Місяць тому +6

      It's not nowadays ...they've always been like that..if you don't dress westernized you're a maid, if you're dark-skinned they'll call you kaala to your face.

    • @seenaantony6463
      @seenaantony6463 Місяць тому

      @@irenelopez3235 🙂yaaa

    • @anaesthete5592
      @anaesthete5592 29 днів тому +4

      Ironic thing is when you check the profile of such comments it will be coming from a kala

    • @anaesthete5592
      @anaesthete5592 29 днів тому +12

      Also fair skinned Pakistanis calling dark skinned Pakistanis "indian"

  • @fishscales28
    @fishscales28 2 місяці тому +43

    I was affected by this when I was a kid, around 5-8 years old, I would even put on fair and lovely sometimes. If I tanned, relatives would comment on it. but then I stopped caring as much and I guess my skin also happened to become medium to light compared to just medium probably bc of hormones and not spending much time outside due to studying, sometimes I feel like I'm not even considered south asian because I used to live in america and many people have made comments treating me like a foreigner when I came back to my country and I'm literally not even mixed race or anything, not that people would deserve to be treated weirdly for that either but. Some ppl were literally acting like I'm a foreigner. I don't like it when people have 'complimented' me for my skin being kind of light because I don't want to promote colorism.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому +3

      That's such a shame to hear 😞 especially because you were so so young. I'm glad to hear that it has a lesser impact on you now comparatively, and yes I fully get you on the being made to feel like a foreigner bit, even though you are Indian. It's such a weird feeling that I sometimes relate to as well - thanks for sharing! ❤

  • @vkajale1432
    @vkajale1432 Місяць тому +34

    not only south asia but the whole asian countries has this "white is better" mindset. earlier bollywood use to fuel this mindset and now kpop is doing the same in even more aggressive way, like the idols literally put on white foundation 😅🤷

    • @Manliadon
      @Manliadon Місяць тому +11

      Japan has an obsession with white women, I think Korea does too. Blatant colorism seeping into Kpop

  • @victoriamuniz8958
    @victoriamuniz8958 Місяць тому +29

    I don't know about other areas but in Spain and many areas of Europe, centuries ago and perhaps until the 19th, being very pale was the fashion because it meant that you were from a wealthy house, the only ones who were dark were the workers because they had to always be in the sun. Over time, fashion changed and the cool thing is to be tanned because it means you have money and can go on vacation, which means you tan in the sun.

    • @Manliadon
      @Manliadon Місяць тому +1

      In Spain and other areas from the middle to thr end of the muffle ages, pale skin, light eyes, and non existent eyebrows were a standard of beauty. The nonexistent eyebrows made the forehead look bigger and that was associated with smartness. Being a healthy weight and thick hips were also a sign of beauty anf of wealth. I think brown girls should use a tiny bit of bronzer to make our skin extra glowy, bc we don't need more than a drop of bronzer, nd only if we're in the lighter side😅

  • @aaliyahkassim9142
    @aaliyahkassim9142 23 дні тому +17

    Brown people need to realise that melanin is literary a blessing! It protects your skin from so many ailments. The best one Aging!!

    • @Hannah_BananaStand
      @Hannah_BananaStand 4 дні тому

      My Irish skin living under the Australian sun can confirm.

  • @PreethiRamesh-h3d
    @PreethiRamesh-h3d 2 місяці тому +51

    This is it!i have brown skin and im quite dark.i was made so insecure because of people around me saying that my younger sister both are quite fair skinned like my dad and they look so beautiful too.i felt that it was unfair that my sister get to have that fair skin and i dont. i would literally put on many many creams soap to fix my skin colour and did some bizzare things just to get fair.after coming to college i watched many youtube videos about how to stop being insecure and worked on myself little by little. now i am not that insecure but little parts of that insecure self shows up every now and then and i would say that i am fine as i am.i affirm to myself that im more than just my skin colour.i learned how to respect myself cause of youtubers like you.the work i put on to fix my insecure self was so much. it took so much time for myself to feel comfortable on my skin.we shouldn't have the need to put this much work just to feel comfortable about ourselves.i wish these people would understand how they made these many people insecure.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому +2

      Thank you so much for your comment 🥹..I’m so sorry that you were made to feel that way when you were younger and I’m so proud to see that you’ve put in the time & effort to unlearn all of these toxic beliefs, I’m proud of you girlie!

    • @PreethiRamesh-h3d
      @PreethiRamesh-h3d 2 місяці тому

      @@maryam_couture Oh my god!!!!!!.i didn't expect you would reply this fast.thank you for your kind words and encouragement🥹🫂.actually this is the first time I wrote a comment on a youtube video.this video deserves a lot.keep going girl✨️💫

  • @Moonie_MonRozE
    @Moonie_MonRozE Місяць тому +18

    I grew up in Egypt and remember seeing commercials for fair and lovely, and looking back on it I can’t believe that some mothers were encouraging their daughters to use this but it’s not completely their fault, they were raised that way.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому

      It's such a toxic cycle 🙃

    • @areejashraf7413
      @areejashraf7413 29 днів тому

      Egyptian here too, same girl.
      White girls were (and still are) attractive here, it broke my heart every day that I wasn't as fair as my mother and didn't have her straight nose.
      Instead, I would seethe and hate myself because I had an 'African' nose, which is completely toxic.
      And I would burn my hair trying to straighten it out of it's natural curls.

  • @roshannausad8178
    @roshannausad8178 5 місяців тому +36

    THIS VIDEO NEEDS MORE VIEWS AND NEEDS MORE SHARES!!! thank you for making this !!

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  5 місяців тому +1

      omg thank you so much 😭😭💕

  • @Triharyanto1968
    @Triharyanto1968 Місяць тому +12

    RICH = BEAUTIFUL
    In Europe, if you are rich, you have money to have holidays to warmer and sunny places like Mediterranean and tropical countries. Such holidays will make you tan. Hence, tanned skin reflects richness. If you don't have money, you don't travel and stay working in cold countries with grey sunless skies. That way, your skin stays pale. Hence, pale skin means poor.
    In South and South East Asia, if you are rich, you will stay indoors or working in cool air-conditioned rooms. This is considered a luxury since it feels much more comfortable than being burn under hot sunlight outdoors. Those working outdoors are the ones losing in the competition to get better jobs in air-conditioned indoors. Working outdoors will make your skin tanned. Tan-skinned people with outdoor jobs generally earn less money than indoor jobs. Hence, tan skin means poor. And poor means ugly.

  • @marialovesmarklee
    @marialovesmarklee 6 місяців тому +48

    Girl .i feel like this video is gonna blow up

  • @mysryuza
    @mysryuza Місяць тому +22

    I used to wish I had lighter skin, but now I found beauty in having tan skin and I’m good with what I got. I wish more women than there are now were able to find that same beauty.

  • @flyingcow5235
    @flyingcow5235 Місяць тому +10

    as a brown bangladeshi, i cannot thank you enough for making this video. i started liking my skin colour when i was sixteen. before that i had so much self-hate for my skin. everything and everyone around me reminded me of how much i hated my own skin colour, my classmates, my own relatives, tv commercials, any time i went to buy foundation and there was never a shade that matched my skin tone. but i've slowly started appreciating my skin colour. before that i always thought how convenient it would've been if my skin tone was just a few shades lighter. i am happy i managed to get out of that mindset cuz now i've started noticing things like how good gold jewellery looks on me, how my skin quite literally looks like gold under warm sunlight.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому +1

      Thank you so much for sharing this 🥹💘. I am so so so proud of you 💗

    • @smg8048
      @smg8048 Місяць тому

      I'm not south east Asian but when I tell you my whole life I've always thought sea Asians were so gorgeous. Skin tone included!!

    • @flyingcow5235
      @flyingcow5235 Місяць тому

      @@smg8048 thx so much 😭😭😭

    • @smg8048
      @smg8048 Місяць тому

      @@flyingcow5235 no prob 😆

  • @mimi19932
    @mimi19932 2 місяці тому +41

    This is a topic that's close to my heart, because my mom had been subjected to colorism by various people in her life.
    Her parents never let her wear dark clothes because she would look hideous, her favorite color is violet and she never got to wear violet colored clothes because of them.
    People used to call her kaali. I kid you not, my mom is one of the most beautiful-looking women I have seen. Not because she is my mom but because she is very beautiful. Yet, people failed to see it because her complexion was a hindrance somehow??
    Things change for her when she got married to my dad. My dad is one such person who never judged anyone based on their skin color. In the initial days he would bring her black sarees because to him she looked good in it. My mom would complain, "I am dark myself, why do you bring darker clothes? I don't look good."
    Another instance was when I was born, I became a source of pride for her because of my complexion. She showed me to one such person who called her kaali when she was young and said, "You guys criticized me for being dusky, now look I have a fair skinned daughter."
    It's crazy how colorism works and how it damages people's self confidence. I have a lot of stories about other people too and I personally saw how it affected them.
    Now, I educate people that no matter the skin tone, we should love ourselves. But sadly I understand it's the society that's a bitch!

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому +5

      Oh my God 🥺 thank you so much for sharing this, I’m so happy to hear that your family has someone so kind & good willed like you to help educate others 🤍 I’m sure your mom is just as beautiful and if not more as you’ve described 🫶🏽

    • @mimi19932
      @mimi19932 2 місяці тому +2

      @@maryam_couture Thank you for your sweet reply. You are also doing a great job educating people about this issue ♥️ And yes, my mom is actually a very beautiful woman both from inside and outside.

  • @iluv_sillycars
    @iluv_sillycars Місяць тому +12

    I dont normally comment but a lot of people are sharing their experiences with colourism so i also feel comfortable to share mine, when i was younger i used to live in england, which is a very cold country meaning there was not much sunlight, so i wasnt that tan back then but when i moved to india to stay with my grandparents i played a lot of sports and stayed out in the sun a lot due to assemblies, iykyk, so i got tanned. My aunts commented on my tanned skin so much during any functions that i literally went to the bathroom during a wedding to cry. They commented on how i got 'ugly' and that a man would not want to marry me due to that. I was still objectively fair but not as fair as i used to be . I was so insecure about my skin colour i literally would do anything to get rid of tans. Even in school students are saying 'wow shes so fair and pretty' or 'i used to be fair and pretty back then'. Like?? Honey you are still beautiful but many people apparently disagree because of their own insecurities.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому +5

      This mad me so sad to hear 😕 thank you for sharing this 🤍 you are definitely not alone in this, I hope you know that this channel is your safe space 🫂

    • @iluv_sillycars
      @iluv_sillycars Місяць тому +1

      @@maryam_couturethank you so much that is so nice to hear. also i don't know if you have already made a video about the men and their absolutely disgusting behaviour especially in india, but i recommend making one about it to spread awareness on their predatory and downright revolting behaviour. love from india

  • @Ownerofhoteldelluna
    @Ownerofhoteldelluna Місяць тому +10

    I remember when I was 10 Everyone used to say it to my mother that your daughter is so brown, she's so skinny she needs to eat, don't you give food to her, and my many adviced me to apply Multani Mitti on my face in order to grow white and "pretty" no matter how much I ate or whatever thay adviced me to do me and my mom never gave any attention to their words now I am not skinny any more and even my skin is fair but I wish to have tanned skin, everyone asks my mom WHAT DID YOU FEED HER? WHAT SHE APPLIED?

  • @Dollfac3d
    @Dollfac3d 2 місяці тому +36

    finally someone that talked about this! this might be a bit off topic but a few days ago i came across a blackpill video titled 'why indian men are ugly' not being really familiar with what blackpill is i clicked on the video and like...why were most of the 'flaws' something they cant really do anything about?? for example 'funny accents' i find this extremely offensive and stereotypical and also cant forget the dark skin one, i thought criticizing someones skin color was racist or is it only racism when its about black people? people normalize indian hate on the internet wayy too much and am also talking about the 'indian people' who practically encourage this type of behavior 'im indian and i dont find this offensive' just because you dont find it offensive doesnt mean the 1.7 billion people in the country wont !

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому +14

      That is vile. And it’s so shameful to see the normalisation of the hate narrative online towards Indians. That video made was in very poor taste.

    • @amanchoudhury8135
      @amanchoudhury8135 2 місяці тому

      I fell you dude. Like have seen some of these looksmaxxing videos where its all the just white men abd nothing else . In women there are a few dusky skin women but they are mentioned exotic like wth is she a fruit . These are just straight of disrespectful.

    • @Manliadon
      @Manliadon Місяць тому

      Those are probably the same ppl who hate Kamala or the non white maga people you see. The Indian hate is real, I saw it at my last job where I had to call the EEOC. It's disgusting that colorism is not considered colorism when it's about Indians

    • @anshukandulna1844
      @anshukandulna1844 Місяць тому

      Whenever I play on a foreign server I do that funny Indian accent, that's funny af. Not everyone is offended by that. Time for some statistics, Indian is the most racist country is the world by reports. "Don't throw what you can't catch". For the things I about other countries IDC when other bad mouth about India.

  • @noo161
    @noo161 6 місяців тому +53

    As brown boy I always I'm not handsome and fair l always judged like you look like low caste this comment piss me every time. I am not saying all girls like this but everytime they shame black guys they say "have you seen yourself in a mirror " there news online groom rejected in wedding for being dark skin . Bollywood always portrayed as if you fair your hero if dark your villen( this applys womens also).

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  6 місяців тому +21

      I fully understand what you’re saying :(( the double standard & racism is wild and especially the portrayals in movies 🙃

    • @noo161
      @noo161 6 місяців тому +13

      Every time I see main character always from North side or South side but never show East side of men as lead I feel bad them they should also represent in movies .

    • @Goldenfly737
      @Goldenfly737 6 місяців тому +1

      @@noo161 what do you mean, do you mean bengali

    • @weirdasff
      @weirdasff 2 місяці тому +4

      ​​​@@noo161 I mean every place in India has their own film industry rather than just bollywood and those films represent their major audience and the situations and life of people there. Bollywood doesnt repesent Indian cinema.There are films made by north easteners as well, it's just that they're not famous and mainland Indians don't give much attention to them. They are under represented in media alot even in news and such. And bollywood casting priyanka chopra for mary kom's biography movie was just bad. If there are north eastern characters they should cast a north Easterner. Same with when Bollywood portraying a character from south, they paint their light skinned actors brown 🥲. There are light skinned south indians as well as dark skinned north indians. Dark skinned people are being represented more in certain south Indian films and industries compared to bollywood (There are other north indian industries too but since bollywood has more fame and audience I'm comparing it with it and also since the original comment specifically talked about bollywood). Although they could improve it, they're doing it far better than bollywood.
      Edit : And yeah, there are many repeated romcoms made in bollywood instead of that if they wanted to they could make the main characters from the north east or make a whole movie taking place somewhere in Assam or Nagaland or anywhere there.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому +1

      This was so insightful to read, thank you!

  • @Iamniceeeee
    @Iamniceeeee Місяць тому +12

    I remember that I was watching television when I was 3-6 years old and I saw a fair and lovely advertisement for the first time and I got the thought that I was ugly and dirty because I wasn’t white. So, to remove my “ugly skin colour” , I used to rub my hands and face very hard with soap so that my brown colour would magically wear off and disappear. I also used to be very insecure about my skin colour since my family was also very fair and I got my skin colour from my grandfather so naturally I used to stand out with my skin colour. But now I feel better and I now ignore these advertisements and I start to love myself the way I am.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому +4

      Aww my God 😞 I'm so proud of you for showing yourself the love & kindness you fully deserve now 🤎

    • @Manliadon
      @Manliadon Місяць тому +1

      These commercials should be banned for colorism

  • @seungberryisinyourhouse
    @seungberryisinyourhouse Місяць тому +8

    I am 13 (yah i am young) and my mom always used to tell me that if my skin will get tanned i will get ugly and she didnt let me play in the sun at the age of 7 to idk probably 10 , sh ealways used to put some cream or some other things on my skin to lighen my skin colour , now i have started to like my skin tone becaues tan skin is beautiful and i really liked your video

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому +2

      Aww thank you for sharing this, I'm glad you liked it 🥹 and I'm proud of you!!

    • @shaktimishra9710
      @shaktimishra9710 Місяць тому

      Your mom knows the situation of India skin colour also determined your life style here

  • @ushnarahman
    @ushnarahman 2 місяці тому +11

    im a naturally light skinned brown person, probably because i'm not fully brown actually because my mom is white. but i grew up around my father's pakistani side way more than my moms, and i have one auntie who's super beautiful and is dusky and on her wedding day my grandma said "you should've picked a lighter foundation, you look quite dark.." on her WEDDING day. and my father is quite dark skinned and my grandma always scolds my dad when he goes out in the sun because he "should avoid getting dark skinned", and my dad told me she's done this since he was a child. i love my grandma and although it's really messed up what she's saying, i don't completley blame her because she grew up in the 70s in Pakistan and is naturally dark skinned too and was bulied her whole life about it. so i think its kind of engraved into her brain, and it makes me so sad because dark skin is so beautiful.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому +4

      omg 😣 it’s so crazy how this ideology is so ingrained in some of our psyches

  • @Nyx-Yeoja
    @Nyx-Yeoja Місяць тому +9

    I am 15 now....and yes I am a brown girl... people would often say to me that "you're pretty....but....your skin colour is a wheatish complexion"...and also some "friends" often comment me about my colour.....I felt SO INSECURE even if i try my best not to feel it ...people around me are just crazy over white tones which I HATE THE MOST.....LIKE CAN WE PLEASE NORMALISE HAVING BROWN SKIN TONE....AND STOP GETTING RECOMMENDATION ABOUT WHAT TO DO TO GET " GLOWING SKIN" .......

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому +1

      Brown skin is glowy skin too 🤎 all skin tones are beautiful but people's unhealthy obsession for white skin is so problematic, your experience sounds so frustrating :( I hope you know that this channel is your safe space 🫂

    • @Hehe-mw5ud
      @Hehe-mw5ud Місяць тому

      what kind of friends are they. i mean yeah sometimes friends do joke about certain things but if you arent comfortable with the jokes discuss it with them

    • @Manliadon
      @Manliadon Місяць тому

      Brown skin glows the most

  • @faustin0901
    @faustin0901 Місяць тому +6

    South asian ethnicity here and I have olive tones but desi people often remark with shock when I tell them my sister and I are related. The irony? We are literally the same foundation shade except she has yellow undertones and mine are olive. 😞 It has been a comparison since our childhood and it made me feel like I was ugly for most of my life. I have come to terms with my appearance now in my early 40’s but I believe I’m average looking even though growing up in the US, my colleagues and friends always tell me they would kill for my complexion and tell me I’m beautiful. Words and toxic social paradigms cause immense long term damage.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому

      Thank you for sharing your journey 🤍 I wish you an abundance of warmth & healing

  • @Sid-w8m
    @Sid-w8m Місяць тому +25

    The colourism in South India is way too toxic. When you are too fair people don't even care about your character. There were some girls in my school and college days and they will just try to be friends with the fair girls and always price them for no reason 🤦‍♀️. Many time they don't even care if those girls insult or hurt them and they just want to be their friend just for their colour🤦‍♀️.
    I'm a medium brown skin girl and atleast I feel lucky that I'm not mostly surrounded by those toxic colourist from my early days and i can easily exclude those people from my life. I embrace the colour of my skin and it is essential for every person to embrace and be confident of their own skin colour❤

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому +3

      I'm proud of you for making the right decisions

  • @bippityboop
    @bippityboop Місяць тому +3

    As a dark skin girl society made sure to let me know it considered me ugly, and as we all know as women beauty is a tax we pay as women, i used to feel so insecure and ugly, its mad. I never wanted to go out or anything.
    But i will forever be grateful for my mom (also ds) who kept reminding me how beautiful i am. All the time i cried to her about how i ugly i was, she just reiterated how beautiful i was.
    Like now that is a common saying among the houseld, that im pretty.
    I know its distopian cause hows thats not ghe reality for a lot of ds girls, , but i think parents play a big role in making uour identity. And they need to protect ds children.
    I have no desire to be fairskinned. Im beautiful as i am. ❤

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому

      This comment made me smile, thanks for sharing! 💗

  • @diya54068
    @diya54068 Місяць тому +13

    (North Indian)I'm yellowish sometimes brown when i wear dark colours clothes sometimes more fair if i wear light colour clothes....my grandmother be like u are so black so should drink milk my family members including relatives find my younger sibling more pretty because she is more on fair side than me + she is more girly likes to wear makeup all the time, even once i was at the doctor he said your daughter is so pretty my mother said she is nothing u haven't seen my younger daughter she is so pretty & fair😂....but to be honest i never take this seriously because i feel so much comfortable in my skin wearing loose clothes no makeup bear skin hitting gym I'm fucking strong & got muscles I'm in shape & i love going to gym & doing skin care hair care....i always reply i don't give a damn i just love my skin as it is i don't wanna change it....i even love getting tan except my face bec we all know brown skin is more prone to get hyperpigmentation so i make sure to apply sunscreen on my face bec if i don't my dark circles becomes more darker....once i was with my family visiting kashmir mama was talking with aunt that how beautiful girls here are so white & blue green grey eyes & south Indian's were sitting next to us they were so humble looking i was admiring their beauty i felt so embarrassed my mother talking like that😂 i just walked away like nahhh i don't know this lady.....I find brown skin very pretty the way it shines in the sun damn so glowy....I think every skin tone is pretty the way u are born nothing is wrong with your body,height or skin,etc....I have bf he is from LA he finds me so pretty even he is white got blue eyes & have cultural differences

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому +6

      I'm glad that these things don't affect you mentally!! It's so good that you're able to differentiate between what's right & wrong regardless of the narrative that's incessantly pushed towards us 🤍

    • @AK.AK.12
      @AK.AK.12 Місяць тому

      Stop yapping

    • @nikkithakarthikeyan4275
      @nikkithakarthikeyan4275 Місяць тому +1

      @@AK.AK.12actually stfu this was so fun to read if u don’t like it, keep scrolling

  • @achillesia
    @achillesia Місяць тому +10

    i’m a darker-skinned indian, and while i moved to france around seven yrs old, i recall someone at my fifth birthday exclaiming “what kind of self-respecting girl would marry a guy with such dark skin?”
    women in india definitely have it worse, there’s no doubt about it, but i feel like people consistently forget about the fact that men suffer from the beauty standard too. still, women in india do draw the shorter end of the stick, and 90% of the time it’s a disgusting double standard. thank you for talking about this and spreading awareness about the issue 🫶

    • @r1a172
      @r1a172 11 днів тому

      All thanks to british and arab invaders.. amcient India was much open to black

  • @tispuribich
    @tispuribich 12 днів тому +1

    This is so true! Im south asian myself and even now I am trying to get past all the self hatred that came with being born with a darker skin tone. I had family members with a lighter skin tone, and I had people say me that its a pity I inherited my father’s skintone instead of my mother who has lighter skin. When I first moved to the US, I remember buying makeup thats two, three shades lighter than my skintone. It took therapy for me to buy a foundation that was my shade and feel beautiful using it. My mom initially said I got a foundation too dark but nowadays she is also learning to accept that brown is beautiful too. I have even bought her makeup from the US because they don’t sell our proper shades or undertones back home.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  11 днів тому

      This touched me 🥹 thank you for sharing

  • @fkdkidie
    @fkdkidie 29 днів тому +3

    Thank you for making this. As a black women that is so interested in South Asian culture I turned on my heels when i learned about the colorism to protect my own sanity. Its amazing and powerful brown women are taking their power back saying, "We are enough." Thank you for your content.

  • @1_.190
    @1_.190 Місяць тому +7

    I am from Thailand. Foreign think my country accepts variations of people. But that is not true for tan native girls. Have 'somebody' in my school said with my best friend that " She (me) is not beautiful because of her skin tone." I so shocked to hear that. Many people don't like me because of this reason. That happens when I am 17 years old. I hear that black (tan), too bad since I was born. I am so crazy every time when someone calls me by another tan girl's name in school. They never remember our faces even though we have 2-3 tan girls in school!!! But why can they separate 20 white girls? Everyone doesn't like tan girls, but they didn't shout to world like 'somebody' that told to my best friend. Sadly, this value is deeply ingrained in Thailand.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому +3

      Thank you for sharing this, I’m so sorry that you’ve had to experience this, it can really leave a mark on one’s psyche 🫂

    • @Manliadon
      @Manliadon Місяць тому +2

      "But why can they seperate 20 white gurls?" I'm ded. They aLwAyS know and treat the white gurls better, all minorities do this in the US too that's why the minorities Trump discriminated against are now voting MAGA(and kissing their Union rights goodybe)

    • @1_.190
      @1_.190 21 день тому

      🥲🫂 Thanks for online hugs. Love you ka.

  • @niewieder99
    @niewieder99 Місяць тому +4

    It really is about where you grow up. I’m a fair skinned Indian (for context, I’m mistaken for Italian or Spanish often) and I grew up in the West.
    My preference is to get a tan each summer and get darker! In fact, even my family here says I look better with a (natural, healthy, out in the sun bc I’ve been hiking, swimming etc) tan.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому

      Love that for you x

    • @Fallingstarcaughtbyangles865
      @Fallingstarcaughtbyangles865 Місяць тому +1

      That's beautiful , but you should love your own skin tone too , all skin tones are beautiful 🥰🤍🤎🖤💛🩷

  • @MistieSkies
    @MistieSkies Місяць тому +2

    Everything you said is soooooo true, as someone from East Asia with many East Asian relatives it doesn’t get any better. Everyone wants to be as “fair” as possible. I grew but having a darker shade than most of my community and I can still remember being called dark and tanned and it’s genuinely disappointing to see others of my race also thrive for a lighter skin tone that isn’t even what they are.

  • @Sealsallday_everyday
    @Sealsallday_everyday Місяць тому +7

    Im Pakistani and i have a slight tan from playing outside a lot as a kid and at the time my mom forced my sister to use whitening cream and called me blackface whenever i didnt put on whitening cream on my face

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому +3

      Oh God 🫠 I can't imagine the damage this must've done

  • @monnkeiimonkee
    @monnkeiimonkee 2 місяці тому +7

    as a person who is from south asia one thing that must be noted is the consumers of beauty products in south asian countries like india, nepal and pakistan is that truthfully majority of us find beauty products as absolute luxury items.. there arent alot of brands and heck there arent alot of people who have the time and money to invest in these beauty products.. usually the product existing are cheap and are made cheap by adding harmful chemicals most of them have traces of lead and mercury.. all these stuff really makes an average south asian person repel from buying beauty product like foundation....
    along with that the makeup artist who does the bride's make up and the family members of the bride carry a single god damn pasty white foundation and compact powder.. south asians are really diverged and have totally different undertones and skintones.. and its just not viable to carry different foundations.. one might say they can just carry their own foundation and base make up but the truth is there arent any options in the affordable range along with the lack of general awareness about makeup..

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому +1

      That's an interesting point! Thanks for sharing :)

  • @Eyeball71
    @Eyeball71 Місяць тому +4

    I’m from south Asian but I’m fair and I have VERY insecure about it bcz when a people say “wow.. I wish I had your skin color” or “I like your skin colors” I just feel like they are jealous of me but I don’t like when people are jealous of something that is something that god gave and is beautiful.. just wanted to tell my thing as a fair person :3 love your vids

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому

      Thanks for sharing girly! And that’s so sweet 💘

  • @emperorlizZ
    @emperorlizZ Місяць тому +4

    So glad someone spoke up about this

  • @sanjanat1085
    @sanjanat1085 Місяць тому +7

    My maternal grandparents are first cousins because their family wanted to "preserve their status and dignity" since they're of a "higher caste". Their kids came out fair and all but my mum (their daughter) is still struggling, at 51, with health conditions because of it. Luckily my grandparents distanced themselves from all of that and raised my mum and her siblings to not see colour, caste or religion ahead of character and it's being passed down.

  • @amee__blue
    @amee__blue Місяць тому +7

    The fact that we south asian dusky girls have cried buckets over some skin tone!!! This feels like a curse sometimes.I'm tired of all the negativity and have started to love my skin tone.

  • @anjanabenitha
    @anjanabenitha 4 місяці тому +15

    This is a great video 👍. Such an interesting topic. Growing up with brown skin in Belgium I had my fair share of racism. In my late teens Aishwarya Rai became known in Belgium but I didn't feel a connection. I felt more leftout because she was fairer and her hair was nothing like mine. Now thanks to a couple brown youtubers I feel better about my skin. There are also a few brown Bollywood actresses who helped me accept myself. I will share this video on my social media if I may as it is that important.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  4 місяці тому +1

      Thanks for leaving this comment!🙂. I fully hear & understand where you’re coming from and yes while Aishwarya Rai is gorgeous & Indian, she doesn’t represent what most of us look like 🥹. And yes go ahead & share this if you like!

    • @anjanabenitha
      @anjanabenitha 4 місяці тому

      @@maryam_couture Thanks for your understanding 😢.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  4 місяці тому

      @anjanabenitha of course 🤗

    • @anjanabenitha
      @anjanabenitha 4 місяці тому

      @@maryam_couture 😊

  • @lily_blackstone5686
    @lily_blackstone5686 Місяць тому +2

    I'm from Bangladesh and I remember as a kid my relatives would often say things like "You've gotten darker since I last saw you" and reassure me that it's just because of the sun and I'll probably go back to 'normal' if I'm not out in the sun as much- Oh and give me unsolicited tips on how to straighten my hair... Proud to say tho that little me always thought it was stupid that they cared so much about such an insignificant detail that I never even noticed. Kid me only cared about if I looked pretty to myself, like if I've got something beautiful about me but I can't see it then what's the point? And if I've got something 'ugly' about me that I can't see then that doesn't matter either. The only times I felt insecure about my looks was when it was something that didn't please ME, never once did I think of whether it pleased other people or not, and I hope more people can learn to care about their own opinions like that

  • @nusratayyub920
    @nusratayyub920 Місяць тому +3

    Felt so good after watching this😌
    I've a light brown to medium skin which makes me the brownest in my family yet some people call pe fair because I am not "Fully brown" so when my mom calls me "SAVLI" (which means brownie) in front of people, they feel bad for me and look at me with eyes full of pity although my mom is just mentioning my physical characteristic which is totally normal for her.....And now after my mom and I've been open about my skin tone, I feel some people have started to put me down as if I'm not beautiful enough for myself as I've accepted that I'm brownish and I don't have fair skin so now I am an average looking girl or an ugly girl for them 😢😢😢 which kinda make me feel bad about their sick mindset

    • @smg8048
      @smg8048 Місяць тому +1

      You are literally natural and beautiful and just right as you are. Who are they to comment on your skin? It's something we can't change. It's like saying to a tall girl why she isn't shorter. Like ??
      And it is NOT negative! Your skin is gorgeous and lovely as it is. It's inherited from your parents and makes you you. Sometimes rude remarks can mess with our perception of ourselves but you have to remember at NO point did you ask for their opinion. Imagine walking up to somebody on the street and saying, hey I think you're ugly to a freckled girl or you're bald to a man. Anybody would say then that you're picking a fight with them. So please don't mind those that spew poison from their mouths, they are the ones with the problem NOT you!!!!

    • @nusratayyub920
      @nusratayyub920 Місяць тому

      ​@@smg8048Thanks ✨ well not just their words also their subtle behaviour towards any of us can decide our abilities and beauty

    • @smg8048
      @smg8048 Місяць тому +1

      @@nusratayyub920 yeah I hear you, I just really hate when people do that or worse, think they have the right to do that. Know it won't erase it but please don't listen to them, it's all lies

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому +1

      Thank you for sharing this angel! Sending you so much love 🤍

    • @nusratayyub920
      @nusratayyub920 29 днів тому

      ​@@maryam_couture Thanks to you for this video ❤

  • @trishnabasumatary6763
    @trishnabasumatary6763 6 місяців тому +11

    Omg I totally agree with everything you explained in this vid , Would love to watch more of these often ❤

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  6 місяців тому +1

      thanks so much for your kind comment girly 🫶🏽 and yes! definitely, subscribe for more 😙

  • @diamond-sn4zo
    @diamond-sn4zo 2 місяці тому +9

    ABOUT TIME SOMEONE STARTED SPITIN FACTS

  • @emilysmith6897
    @emilysmith6897 Місяць тому +3

    I've been alienated from my Bengali parents cause of their transphobia, homophobia, and other abuse due to being conservative, so I rejected all that and sought out more accepting community, and found that to some degree in the LGBTQ+ and neurodivergent communities here in the US where I grew up. The problem is they're so overwhelmingly white. The trans community in particular is like almost all white here for some reason.. and so my brain internalized white transition goals and I literally can't put them down no matter how much I learn about colorism and how many videos about colorism I watch. It literally feels like I haven't finished my transition unless I whiten my skin (and I mean completely white, not just a few shades) to become a white girl.😭

    • @Alice-7777
      @Alice-7777 29 днів тому

      U will always be a pajeta for them

  • @ambersummer2685
    @ambersummer2685 Місяць тому +4

    There’s this Indian girl in this young women’s group I’m in and she has brownish/tannish skin and does such a great job picking colors that suit her skin tone. I made sure to tell her that the colors looked gorgeous with her skin tone.

  • @Sarah-xu7fw
    @Sarah-xu7fw 2 місяці тому +12

    To be honest even thought this kind of a thought is reducing I can still hear my friends telling that people with white skin are prettier. I don't understand this obsession with white skin.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому +4

      It’s been around for such a long time, at first the change will feel odd but with time we will get used to it ✨

  • @Hithere-dl2cx
    @Hithere-dl2cx Місяць тому +5

    This is not only in Asia, it's everywhere that has a colonial mindset, Africa, Asia and Latin America.

  • @antrant7533
    @antrant7533 Місяць тому +3

    I’m a white man who dates an Indian girl and I had no idea how insecure many are about their skin tone. Made me sad

  • @Ayesha______
    @Ayesha______ День тому

    I relate to you so much. This is so true: I remember being told to apply ‘glow’ and lovely (ins Allah the company will die soon) and feeling so insecure about my skin colour. I felt so ugly all the time. Girls in the seventh grade used to make me feel ugly and nasty for having darker skin than them :c
    I’m not comfy in my skin nor in my whole body being overweight. I hope it gets better soon. I find a lot of solace in the fact that we did not come on earth to look pretty but to worship One God. That makes me recenter my focus onto something else other than how ugly I feel.

  • @abhayvaidya8416
    @abhayvaidya8416 6 місяців тому +42

    Just stumbled upon this video , and its the harsh reality. I cant belive people who literally study to become elite surgeons, bizzmens, and public figures fantasize to be white and cherish white. India is the most racist country in the world, people may think it's the world's largest democracy, but our own history makes our country, we have always liked to be diviided. Worst part is, it has become normalised.
    " You need to make a whole big series about this, there are lot of people who face this inferiority complex daily, let them know about this and they are not alone.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  6 місяців тому +3

      Thanks for sharing 🥹 and yes I’ll definitely have more videos on the topic 🙏🏽

    • @Va13chka
      @Va13chka 5 місяців тому +1

      @@maryam_coutureI would love more videos on colorism in India ❤️. It’s sad when whiteness is the exclusive standard when majority of Indians aren’t white! All shades of skin tones are equally beautiful and should be represented as such world wide in every country💯🤍🧡🤎🖤.

  • @megadoodoo6511
    @megadoodoo6511 Місяць тому +1

    Thank you for talking about this 💗

  • @xxzeroxx8417
    @xxzeroxx8417 20 днів тому +3

    I am a very light skinned Indian. But I have always been attracted to dark or brown skinned girls. That's why I think for me personally I never found bollywood girls to be attractive, because it's such a curated look 😭. And sometimes when I tell PPL I prefer dark skin girls, they straight up accuse me of lying lol. Some PPL just can't accept that other PPL like what they deem to be black or " inferior"

    • @debodatta7398
      @debodatta7398 6 днів тому +1

      Colorism plays a huge role in the racist North Indians have toward South Indians as well. On top of that most North Indians aren't fair like Bollywood either even in Punjab vast majority of them are wheatish tone than the very pale fair skin Bollywood Khatri clans (THE THREE KHANS) show off since they're originally from Afghanistan. Even famous Bollywood actresses' like Alia Bhatt, Kiara Advani, Dia Mirza, Jacqueline Fernandez, Katrina Kaif, Kareena Kapoor, Karisma Kapoor, Ileana D'Cruz, Nargis Fakhri, Evelyn Sharma, are ALL 1/2 or 1/4 white. And before the last couple of years almost all these actresses' endorsed bleaching creams like fair and lovely to their young wheatish/dusky/dark toned Indian fans...

    • @xxzeroxx8417
      @xxzeroxx8417 6 днів тому +1

      @debodatta7398 Bro I remember long time back, online one rascist canadian punjabi was calling me a black dalit as if it was some insult 😂😂. I think it actually surprised him to see that I was completely unfazed by this lame insult 😂. But it made me realise how much colourist these PPL are man.

  • @amanchoudhury8135
    @amanchoudhury8135 2 місяці тому +5

    Hy glad someone spoke about it . I mentioned this issue in a comment section and the hate i got because they though i was disrespecting tanning. Like when did i ever say that .
    All i said that people are obsessed with western lifestyle yet they don't see their own hypocrisy is funny.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому +3

      Lol it's funny how some people are so blind to it 🌚 and thank you for your support!

  • @TASNIMSUBATA
    @TASNIMSUBATA Місяць тому +10

    Literally new born babies are being judged for their skin color here

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому +1

      😔💔

    • @R0ub1.
      @R0ub1. Місяць тому +4

      My grandma judged me for my skin color when she is a fucking chocolate, and i called my mom racist hundreds of times even in her face but she never accepts it

    • @Manliadon
      @Manliadon Місяць тому

      @@R0ub1. You weren't specific enough, the specific term is colorist but I can relate haha

  • @TS22533
    @TS22533 6 місяців тому +11

    An importent Video! Keep going Sis ✨

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  6 місяців тому +1

      thank you for your support 😚💓

  • @Kart546
    @Kart546 29 днів тому +6

    As dalit caste kid i can say its not just skin color if you are from sc/st you are white or black doesn't mater .
    People just look down upon us i don't know why .
    People always mock us on my dalit caste . Its horrible to be born as dalit .
    Atleast nobody harms or kill you for skin tone but they kill / harm dalits for being lower or subhuman or some even consider not human .
    As dalit kid its very very hard for us .

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  28 днів тому +5

      The caste system is terrible & vile and it means NOTHING. Your friendly reminder that your worth & sense of self is now tied down to this 🫶🏽🫂

    • @Ario55-cc
      @Ario55-cc 22 дні тому

      Bless you ❤

    • @niini01
      @niini01 11 днів тому

      You're not dalit you're a human being
      i love you dear stranger ❣️

    • @AksharaAbigail-hh1yr
      @AksharaAbigail-hh1yr 10 днів тому

      THIS , exactly but m0st of cl0wns here d0nt understanf our pr0blems @Kart546

    • @thf_
      @thf_ 2 дні тому

      This caste system is pathetic and means nothing. Don’t call yourself that, abandon this concept and free yourself

  • @jubidasultana6390
    @jubidasultana6390 Місяць тому +5

    Main culprit is Unilever.
    Who promote racism in South Asia

    • @AksharaAbigail-hh1yr
      @AksharaAbigail-hh1yr 10 днів тому

      They are just capitalising it , blame britishers , savarnas and ashrafs , the real culprits

  • @Yourgurlaina
    @Yourgurlaina Місяць тому +3

    as a brown gurll i think i need more people talking abt it cause i'm 14 now but when i was 10|11 everyone would tell me that use this cream blah blah nd whenever i would wear pastel colors on get togethers they would make fun of me but at this point i don't een care abt them or whatever cause yk what if someone is going to meausre your beauty and love by your skin color then they are'nt worthy of your love and they are reallly just narrow minded peoplee and are just disgusting tbh

  • @alikeme916
    @alikeme916 12 днів тому +2

    I love the way how she replies every single comment ❤

  • @Nanno888
    @Nanno888 2 місяці тому +6

    Well as a fair skinny girlie, people literally think I am conceited because I am fare, like wtf, plus I seen people being Openly bullying dark skinned girlies like??I am telling you beauty standards in south asia is Skewed

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому +2

      The sad truth 🙃 and yes people tend to judge with their eyes sadly

  • @shebafredrick2544
    @shebafredrick2544 29 днів тому +2

    This is because of our history for thousnds of years. We were dark skinned from the indus valley civilisation times. When the aryans migrated into India they brought their light skin into the popultion. The caste system was designed such that fair skinned were the upper casts since they had higher aryan genes. The rest of the population were the lower casts and the jobs were more manual. That's how there was systemic segregation in our society and the caste system sealed it in, as we became endogamous - meaning not mixing outside of the caste. Thetefore, the higher the caste the more lighter skinned you were and vice versa. Its no wonder that fair skin was preferred. They aryans were from central asia too as were the moghuls. Basically India has invariably always been ruled by the fairer skinned. We have to shed this psyche of the indian mind and love our own skin tones. What took thousnds of years to set in, will take a lots of years of systemic dismantling in the south asian mind. Hope we grow into a more accepting and nurturing society.

  • @als8892
    @als8892 Місяць тому +3

    As a Brown Mexican Woman Ditto.

    • @bruhvibes5941
      @bruhvibes5941 Місяць тому

      gurll u know darn well ur way lighter than a south asian. Put the takis down.

  • @meirie-nb5gn
    @meirie-nb5gn Місяць тому +2

    I'm from Northeast India and as a kid I was tanned skinned and I got told not to drink tea, go outside in the sun😭 always shadow mein raho blablabla so I always thought I was Kali until now(I'm 19) I used to rub my skin and apply those whitening lotions so bad😭but now I'm all fine I love my skin color even though I'm slightly tanned kinda like beige skinned but I'd tell these little girls not to be insecure about their skin color🥹🫶🏽 it doesn't matter if you're dark skinned, brown skinned or wtv always love your skin and don't let anyone put you down for it. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AND LOVE YOURSELF.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому

      I’m so proud of your self love journey 🥹💓

    • @Manliadon
      @Manliadon Місяць тому

      Remember those little girls are also wearing makeup at 7-12 y/o and using retinol on their faces. Imagine how colorism compounds that issue

  • @janekof
    @janekof Місяць тому +3

    I think this tan/brown conversation is missing the truly deep deep skin people. They exist and portrayed as forest people in Indian media or worse...those serials revolving around a deep skinned character having troubles. The crazy thing about those serials is that they cast a brown/tan actress and _make her skin deeper_ . I'm from the States and when I go to India, I get clothes, hair products, kajal, etc...but foundation? No way. And it's such a shame because Indian ingredients in things can be top tier from reputable brands.
    It's also wild to think bc in the ancient world where colors were less differentiated blue and black were considered the same color. So imagine all those gods and goddesses painted blue today......They are actually not supposed to be blue persay.......and that lost translation is sad cause it could help so many deep skinned people with their self-confidence.

  • @amyy4570
    @amyy4570 29 днів тому +1

    I’m someone who has fairly white skin and I’m considered conventionally attractive as well but the fact that one part of me being considered attractive was because I was a lighter skin tone never really hit me until highschool. We were talking about attractive people in our class and there was one girl and she was absolutely so so pretty and while discussing I said that I found her the prettiest in our class. The immediate response from some of both my male and female friends was that she was somewhat dark. Initially I considered that maybe it was because she isn’t “charming?” as such and doesn’t have the attractive aura but I had a close discussion with one of my male friends and he mentioned that maybe people would considered her more attractive if she was fair. It’s quite concerning how in the entirety of Asia darker colour is so much looked down on? When I went back to usa after living in India one of our Indian family friends mentioned about how I had gotten “darker” and how I “should’ve jsut stayed in the states” and this being told me as a child I felt extremely weird. And times have not changed, my friends still complain about getting out in the Sun because they don’t want to get tanned.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  29 днів тому +1

      Thanks for sharing this girly 🤍 it’s honestly so common even in today’s day & age

  • @OnnionOnni
    @OnnionOnni 2 місяці тому +6

    I not think this comment would be see but anyway
    I m from Bangladesh and from a samll city i all ways see many ad where if you were fair you are pretty and if dark skin you need to fix it. Im not it's not very dark or very fair im guessing light brown or something. But when i was just a kid i always want to be fair. I always use my mom's face cream in me i was bully when i was kid by a boy who call me ugly. it always makes me sad. My parents are literal god saints. They always tell me i was pretty in my own way. To the point of going my school and complaint to the principal. They don't care about my skin colour. They care about my health. I have to that school in the October because of my bullying. My parents always said i was beautiful and they love me. Im a teen now and i not insecure about my skin colour. we want is just assurance from people that we care about. From parents, friends, relatives that we are enough for them.
    I sorry for people who tell you not enough for because of your skin colour just you know there are people who will love for you not for you skin colour. So be confident in your self.

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому +2

      Thanks for your comment girlie 💗 I'm so glad your parents have been so good to you regarding this whole topic

  • @mani-png
    @mani-png Місяць тому +2

    finally found a south asian (indian specifically) youtuber 😭😭😭 ive been looking for so long for some kind of a commentary video from an indian perso😔

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому +1

      Aww 🥹 I’m so glad my channel found you

    • @mani-png
      @mani-png Місяць тому

      @@maryam_couture

  • @ontheground6329
    @ontheground6329 2 місяці тому +8

    I'm brown 🤎 girl from India and believe me white boys were more attracted to me 😂

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому +5

      🤣🤣

    • @Alice-7777
      @Alice-7777 Місяць тому +1

      They just wanna use u n throw u it's just a fetish

    • @divineflu34567
      @divineflu34567 Місяць тому +7

      Being liked by a white guy isn't a achivement it's low self esteem.

    • @Sahith_Reddy-k2l
      @Sahith_Reddy-k2l 23 дні тому +2

      @@divineflu34567 if desi guys reject her then of course she will go where she is appreciated. desi guys need to appreciate indian women or they will go off with others.

    • @AksharaAbigail-hh1yr
      @AksharaAbigail-hh1yr 10 днів тому

      @@divineflu34567 and @Sahith_Reddy-k2l both are right

  • @fzz6716
    @fzz6716 Місяць тому +2

    You know what's funny? Light skinned indian are represented in indian movies where the actual population is 98% brown. Dark skinned Indians are represented in Hollywood where the whole country is white.

  • @almondcrustbread7767
    @almondcrustbread7767 2 місяці тому +4

    The only way to feel freedom in beauty is to appreciate your own beauty while not get distracted by other, potray your beauty by your eues

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому +2

      Yes, comparison is the thief of joy 🤍

  • @tiredpigeon99
    @tiredpigeon99 Місяць тому +2

    I guess we all have shared experiences of brown girl trauma! As a child, I used to play in the sun a lot, so naturally, I was quite tanned. I have always been a few shades darker than my friends and family. And oh. My. God. The number of comments I used to get! People calling me "chocolate" or "brownie" but as insults (now I'd be flattered to be called those things

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  Місяць тому

      I'm so proud of you for unlearning all the these toxic beliefs ❤️

  • @dd-uf9nw
    @dd-uf9nw Місяць тому +4

    This video is going to have so many views in 6 months.

  • @User1234_drhvanelove
    @User1234_drhvanelove 2 місяці тому +5

    Thankfully, nobody tells me such things and they usually fall for me no matter what ...and yes if they say so (few I guess) I don't respect them either😂

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому

      LOL I'm here for the sass babe 🤣 and yes I find it difficult to respect these views too

  • @markpotts4751
    @markpotts4751 Місяць тому +1

    I am a guy from India and i have lighter brown skin ...I literally had so many people tell me that my skin colour is the only good thing abt me...this made me beyond scared to get tanned cuz i would loose the "only good thing in me"....
    btw i was born darker in shade and my mom said no one would play with me rather they would play with my older brother who was fairer in skintone than me ...3 months after my birth my skintone got way lighter and that's when everyone started giving me attention...

  • @Vk-sk7nm
    @Vk-sk7nm 21 день тому +3

    Muslims of south Asia have caste system and categorisation as Ashrafs ( who have Arab/ Persian linage) and Pasmandas ( native converted). Ashrafs usually look down upon Pasmandads because they are dark and do minial jobs. There are muslim castes like Teli, Julaha, Dhobu who are discriminated because of theud surnames.

    • @r1a172
      @r1a172 11 днів тому

      Colorism in india was brought by arab invasion itself. There is no such things as colorism in ancient india

    • @AksharaAbigail-hh1yr
      @AksharaAbigail-hh1yr 10 днів тому

      they d0nt have arab persian linage they claim it (they wish they were) , they are just upper caste hindu converts , and they look down on pasmandas because of their castes , ashrafs literally say "jo quom ka nahi wo dom ka hai" , dom is a dalit caste.

  • @Akdrawz
    @Akdrawz 2 місяці тому +5

    Hi im from India , also when u are fair/ light skin they tell u look young and when your brown they tell u look old is that fair? is dark skin unfair? :(

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  2 місяці тому

      That cannot be further from the truth 🤍

  • @Hannah_BananaStand
    @Hannah_BananaStand 4 дні тому

    The exact same companies telling me my white skin is ugly and selling me fake tan, are selling skin bleach in Asia. 🤨
    There is a very interesting book written by a Dalit lady in the US called The Trauma of Caste. She spoke in an interview about her experience as an Indian Dalit woman going to a yoga class in California, wanting to connect with her South Asian Heritage. The white American yoga teacher with a 200hr teacher training under her belt was preaching about Brahma with absolutely no idea about the historical exclusion and oppression of Dalits. My jaw is still on the floor. I'm sure the teacher was very well meaning, as are most western women who take in interest in yoga, but it was an eye opener to note the way that white westerners can swan into India and adopt and associate with the teachings of the ruling class of the Caste system in a way that no South Asian person of a 'lower caste' could historically do.

  • @Spoker_rly_72uhgs
    @Spoker_rly_72uhgs 17 днів тому +3

    It's 2024 india here lower caste got all reserved seats in government jobs and only named upper generals even deserving got robbed.

    • @AksharaAbigail-hh1yr
      @AksharaAbigail-hh1yr 10 днів тому

      Lindu , what makes you think that you are deserved ? neither your jai shree 7GB ram nor your baap , gave those seats to us, you should be ashamed as even in 2024 u ppl still follow caste discrimination eww

  • @TheMindBetweentheEarrings
    @TheMindBetweentheEarrings 19 днів тому

    I am African American and latina, and I am a shade of light brown. We experience the same thing (colorism) here in the USA. I agree with you. It is strange how white people try to become tan but say it's wrong on people with naturally brown skin. I appreciate my own brown skin and encourage other people with brown to love theirs as well. Doesn't matter whether you're South Asian, African, Latino, Polynesian, etc. Great video❤

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  18 днів тому +1

      Thank you for your comment ❤️ brown skin is beautiful

  • @tinydreamerrr
    @tinydreamerrr 5 місяців тому +5

    louder sis!!

    • @maryam_couture
      @maryam_couture  5 місяців тому +1

      share it with your friends 🫶🏽