How To Make My Husband Feel Loved And Appreciated | Paul Friedman
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- Опубліковано 22 сер 2024
- How to make my husband feel loved and appreciated? This is a great question because it's you're already starting from the right place. You want your husband for whatever reason to understand that you love him and appreciate him. It's a great attitude and I compliment you on that. It will do so much to enhance your marriage so much.
Let's go back to why you got married in the first place. Many people forget that you get married in order to be happy and happier every single day of your lives. You also recognize and you got married out of love. Now, I don't know about the psychologists these days who talk about love as an abstract thought who talk about spirituality as abstract because it isn't abstract, it's very
tangible just because you can't recognize it with your senses. Your five senses don't mean it's not real.
Who hasn't felt love?
Who the marries without love?
That would be crazy but what happens is over time people begin to question whether they are loved which is kind of interesting because it should never get to that place because both of
you should be continually striving to express love. Think of your marriage as a closed space. There's only two of you in this space I called the sacred space of marriage, just two of you. You don't let anyone else's opinions in. You don't let any negativity from the outside world in it's a perfect place to build happiness and love.
How do you do that?
By expressing it of course. One of the biggest problems that come up and we all fall into this is we bring things into our marriage that we don't think that we shouldn't. A good example is constructive criticism. Some brainiac decided that there is constructive criticism. Well, that's like saying falling down falling up. It can't be criticism and constructive at the same time. There could be constructive education but not criticism.
Criticism is when you tell somebody that they made a mistake, that they did something wrong and the whole idea of marriage is that that is not your job -- it's the opposite. Your job is to completely support and love, to express love in every manner there is but in the world we think that there's a right way to argue, a right way to fight in a marriage that there's a fairness clause in marriage and so what we do is we bring these ideas of the outer world into our inner sacred space of marriage and we blow it apart and people become insecure, they don't feel comfortable anymore. They don't feel that love that they should anymore.
The first step is to end all of the negative behaviors: criticism, complaining, condemnation,
expectations, a desire for fairness -- those communications have to end and the way you do that is by reminding yourself that a little flaw is okay -- doesn't matter. Don't mention it, there's no need. The thing about flaws, everyone can see everyone else's flaws really well it's so easy. You only have to be with someone for half an hour and you could give them a list imagine what it's like when you're married to someone. You could give them five pages of things that they can improve upon.
Why would you do that?
Why wouldn't you use your love to accept their flaws without any judgment whatsoever?
Recognizing that even if you tell them what their flaws are even if you paint a picture that is
like dead-on and perfect and totally understandable they're probably not ready to hear it or that flaw wouldn't be there anymore. They would have gotten rid of it. Nobody wants to be flawed. We all go, "Yeah, I'm not perfect," but we don't want to hear what our flaws are. We come across our own flaws at our own pace in our own time when we're ready and based upon personal things.
The first thing you need to do is you need to stop all criticism, all complaining, anything that
is negative. Let me give you another reason. He married you because you were the light of his life. He fell in love with you. He saw the real you which is your heart that's the real you and you're expressing your heart to him -- you chose him. Beautiful, isn't it? Then you got to know each other and you started letting things come out that you shouldn't have. But going back to this light example, the Sun we can't think of a bigger light in our lives.
Sure, there are bigger stars but we're not near them. Our Sun is massive, massive but if it's blinding us, we put up one hand and we can't see the Sun anymore. We're able to block out that entire Sun with one tiny little hand. This is what it's like when you bring in the shadows of criticism: complaining, condemnation, expectations -- it has the same effect. So now, where you were the light in his life you're standing behind the obstacles that block it so that's the first step is to end all negative behaviors, all your negative actions have to go. That includes your thoughts.
Watch the video for more.
#marriageproblems #marriageissues #wifeandhusbandproblems #maritalproblems #anger #angermanagement
Sincere and determined people need truthful information and a good plan to escape the cycle and hole you are in. Incredible marriages ARE possible. They are achieved by:
1. Learning about the mind and mastering it so your changes are permanent and you are always growing.
2. Learning how to behave, and not behave in marriage friendly ways
3. Making unconditional love and ever-expanding happiness your primary and constant missions.
Go to themarriagefoundation.org and get the course if you need it. Now is not the time to experiment. It is the time for positive action.
This is so true. Every relationship in our lives is teaching us to love freely, express our tenderness and joy to each other freely. And I must admit this idea is scary to me. A part of me feels that if I accept my partner unconditionally and only love him, I will end up being submissive, tolerating things I dont like, somehow abandoning myself. Deeply I know that is not the truth. My mind comes from a place of scarcity. As if giving love freely to him will mean I have less love for me. But love is infinite, and it just grows and multiplies. There is no way that giving more and more love will ever be bad for me. The One who gives the most is the One who wins the most.
Yes, marriage is intended to be a safe place for expressing love, unlike the dangerous world where we much be guarded against its dangers.
You can't depend on someone to make you happy. Affirm, appreciate and reverence your husband. Thank you for sharing
I comprehend that I will be more heart-centric, but it is difficult from a broken 💔 heart. I need to control my mind and emotions, and negative habits of feeling abandoned, and neglected and only feel positive. Wish me luck, I'm working on it. Today wasn't a complete success. Going to go to your coursework.
Go to you tube and listen to any video from Louise hay or Bob proctor.
Amazing information!!
Your teachings are beautiful and true, however, for some people they may be difficult to apply in practice (due to various personal and cultural reasons). It takes a humble person to love without expectations despite all challenges. But, I do agree, that this is the only kind of love that truly exists. Your videos are so refreshing; I love listening to them! Thank you very much for doing this all to help others. God bless:)
It is indeed dificult. Its why we prodcued the courses that contaiin deep techniques and step by step guidance, so that one's effort is efficient and effective. 🙏
Thank you for this beautiful message and the wonderful light you bring to this world ♥️
You are so kind. I pray you find the happiness in your marriage, too.
Fantastic Video, with giving Love, Love in return will come to you!!!
Thanks for sharing this God bless you
My husband and I have been having problems in the last 5 years. Our relationship has been so toxic and I kept bringing up divorce and separation. Now my husband does want to separate. His friends has also encouraged it. I don’t want to separate because I really do love him and i love our family with our 3 children. I’m starting to realize that my anger towards him has been mainly due to my insecurities. Is it too late to save my marriage? I’ve been working on myself and we haven’t had an argument for almost 3 weeks. I know it’s still a long way to go but I really don’t want to lose him.
Not too late but you need to do more than just settle things down. Now is the time to get the course for women and really apply what you learn
Very helpful videos. I really liked and subscribed just now.
Love very much your videos. Full of knowledge. Thank you for sharing
U a right,emotions are a devil.i have something, thanks
Why does my husband get aggravated, when I am in a good mood and talk to him? Sometimes, I feel like I should just be quiet, but then I don't feel I am being true to myself.
Perhaps listening to him may help your relationship. Look past his "aggravation" so you can hear his heart and be supportive. Communication is an art.
@@TheMarriageFoundation He doesn't talk much.
It was my problem. I'm was so fed up with not being listen and understood, that in the end I gave up.
It meant that I stopped trying to being listen but also cut off any listening of my wife.
It's easier this way for men because being burdened by unregulated female emotions without support is too much to handle.
From my observations this is usually the case and major cause of divorce is stated as lack of emotional involvement form men side. Who would thought so 😄
I feel if I tell my husband I love him too much he takes me for granted
Change your thoughts to change your life.
Please pray for my marriage. How do I contact your foundation?
We pray for all who come to us, automatically. Come to our website.