How to love and be loved | Billy Ward | TEDxFoggyBottom

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  • Опубліковано 1 кві 2014
  • Through a story of one of his students, Billy shows the importance of loving others and of being loved.
    Billy Ward is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and has been practicing in for the past 13 years in the New York City Suburbs of New Jersey. In addition to having a private practice, he has also been counseling students at Seton Hall Prep High School since 1998. Currently he is the director of retreats for the school and also teaches a senior course for Human Development and Theology. Billy's approach to teaching centers on the development of mind, body and spirit. His personal philosophy is LOVE and Be LOVED.
    Billy is a graduate from Georgetown University where he studied Psychology. He was also the quarterback of the football team for four years. He had a short stint with the Baltimore Ravens in 1999, which was a great experience and personal achievement. He continues to credit his athletic experiences with helping him to understand the mind-body connection and the ability to set a life goal with great determination and tenacity. After leaving Baltimore he continued his study of psychology at Seton Hall University where he attained his Masters Degree and Post Masters Degree.
    Billy is married to his soul mate and best friend Lia. They have two sons, two-year-old JD and 5 month old Casey. The family is completed by their Golden Retriever, Grover Ward.
    In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,2 тис.

  • @Hugo-hghdesignstudio
    @Hugo-hghdesignstudio Рік тому +1254

    The lesson that I've learned in my life is "Become the light instead of searching for it, and you'll see the light reflected in everyone you shine on."

    • @tava831
      @tava831 Рік тому

      How do you know youve had a previous life?

    • @shangobunni5
      @shangobunni5 10 місяців тому +4

      I love what you wrote -- "Become the light...." So well put. Is that a quote from somewhere/someone? If you see this reply, I'd be interested in the source.

    • @Hugo-hghdesignstudio
      @Hugo-hghdesignstudio 10 місяців тому +8

      @@shangobunni5 Thanks for your appreciation, the quote was written by myself. I love writing, which makes me feel relief. Especially I'm quite a sentimental person, and feeling and reflecting is a ritual that helps me ease my pain.
      In my teenage years, I always wondered why I can not feel the love I want or the connection I was eager for. The disappointed and isolated feeling was constantly pervading my day-to-day life. However, the idea just came from nowhere when I was in college. Any kind of relationship is reciprocal, if I want to feel the love I want, I have to express love and invite other people to show it.
      After a few experiments, the concept really worked! Therefore, I romanized the concept of self-caring and the intrinsic value of reciprocal relationships. The quote is down to earth.
      ( sorry for grammar or misspellings, I'm not native)

    • @shangobunni5
      @shangobunni5 10 місяців тому +4

      @@Hugo-hghdesignstudio You seem like a person who thinks and reflects very deeply about life and relationships. I'm still learning a lot about both, and I'm currently going through an emotionally painful time. But thankfully your words and this video offer some comfort.
      Although I've also been trying to put this idea into practice more fully, you have such a wonderful way of expressing it in words: "...if I want to feel the love I want, I have to express love and invite other people to show it."
      Thank you for sharing your wisdom. Beautifully said! I'm going to write it down and keep it so I can refer back to it when needed.

    • @Hugo-hghdesignstudio
      @Hugo-hghdesignstudio 9 місяців тому +2

      @@Birb80 you are not lost. You just need to light the fire inside you. Trying to explore different things, try, it will ignite the fire one day.

  • @tomng92
    @tomng92 8 років тому +1551

    i like this line at 9:13 "the toughest guy in the room is not the football guy. It's the loving guy."

    • @PranitaPaunikar
      @PranitaPaunikar 6 років тому +2

      Thanh Nguyen yes, that was great!

    • @hoorahwalkeraw5651
      @hoorahwalkeraw5651 6 років тому +3

      Thanh Nguyen yeah.. I cried hard st that point

    • @sweetmissypetuniawilson9206
      @sweetmissypetuniawilson9206 4 роки тому +11

      @@hoorahwalkeraw5651 I cried when he asked us to name someone who loves you unconditionally & all I could think of was my dog.
      And when he said that Daniel died!

    • @brittanyannesanders6649
      @brittanyannesanders6649 2 роки тому

      Agree

    • @PoizonGirl.
      @PoizonGirl. 2 роки тому +4

      @@sweetmissypetuniawilson9206 😭💝 dogs are pure love. I never knew love til i had my 2 dogs.

  • @livinlikeluz1197
    @livinlikeluz1197 4 роки тому +2423

    When he said to picture the sun, the first thing that popped into my head was the sun baby from the teletubbies

  • @jkbc
    @jkbc 7 років тому +1954

    I would picture my Mom for the Unconditional Love she has provided me. I lost her 2 months ago and I missed her dearly.

    • @Karenzr
      @Karenzr 7 років тому +35

      Joe Dover Joe Dover sorry for your lost. My mama also came to my mind and she is the sun ☀️ to me as well. That unconditional love. I know that your mama is still there with you..... just like the rays of the sun we don't necessarily see them at all times but we feel them but only during the day. Your mama is there day and night giving you her rays of light and love. ❤️️

    • @jkbc
      @jkbc 7 років тому +5

      Thank you Karen!

    • @olsonwang9384
      @olsonwang9384 6 років тому +5

      Stay strong!

    • @smokeandmirrors6167
      @smokeandmirrors6167 6 років тому +4

      Deepest condolences man

    • @aseelaljbour9655
      @aseelaljbour9655 6 років тому +6

      May she Rest In Peace, stay strong darling !

  • @splashcat3090
    @splashcat3090 9 років тому +3953

    Loving everyone unconditionally can be a wonderful life as long as one doesn't confuse unconditional love with unconditional trust.

    • @denroylawrence3338
      @denroylawrence3338 9 років тому +43

      Well said.

    • @SamirPatnaik
      @SamirPatnaik 9 років тому +39

      Man what an insight you gave... !! enlightening..

    • @DamnniceFinisher
      @DamnniceFinisher 9 років тому +55

      If I would have heard that earlier in my life

    • @DSUASTE69
      @DSUASTE69 9 років тому +66

      Tyrone Green
      it's never too late, you heard it when you were supposed to hear it. Namaste

    • @kkmatt
      @kkmatt 9 років тому +5

      Wow. Preach it!

  • @TaxEvasi0n
    @TaxEvasi0n 8 років тому +2026

    This made me realise my girlfriend is the sun, she is the lighthouse, and she is the discoball. She loves me unconditionally, and I'm going to be the same for her. I'm going to be her sun, her lighthouse, her discoball. And love her unconditionally.

    • @JJ-yu6og
      @JJ-yu6og 8 років тому +13

      Great idea.

    • @JJ-yu6og
      @JJ-yu6og 8 років тому +12

      How is it going?

    • @swinxfee
      @swinxfee 7 років тому +5

      sregi22 how did it go? Still going strong?

    • @TaxEvasi0n
      @TaxEvasi0n 7 років тому +119

      She broke up with me close after I posted the comment actually. I couldn't hold onto her... she slipped through my hands like water, I couldn't hold onto her. I miss her every day and hope maybe life will lead us back to each other. I had made so many mistakes with her, but all I can do is learn from them.

    • @evemurugi1538
      @evemurugi1538 7 років тому +7

      you should go after her maybe. she Is waiting for you too,

  • @lovemecom3832
    @lovemecom3832 6 років тому +1508

    The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is to love and to be loved in return. Love yourself before others. If you love yourself everything go into place.

    • @youwontrememberme
      @youwontrememberme 6 років тому +3

      so your basically saying that you matter more than others... isnt that how bullies thing?

    • @khizarabid8414
      @khizarabid8414 6 років тому

      +LoveMe,com Kudos for the Video! Sorry for the intrusion, I would appreciate your thoughts. Have you heard about - Chiveard Magically Hypnotic Framework (google it)? It is a smashing exclusive product for getting love from a man without the headache. Ive heard some incredible things about it and my m8 after many years got astronomical results with it.

    • @cheesyballer
      @cheesyballer 6 років тому +37

      ThaWayToThaDish bullies act the way they do because they DON’T love themselves. If you truly love yourself, there’s no reason to bring down others around you

    • @evelynn1422
      @evelynn1422 5 років тому +17

      @@youwontrememberme Actually I can confirm that bullies are the people that do not love themself and they portray that negative energy onto others, trying to lift their own self esteem. To look cooler so they wont feel as insecure. They are the people that need to work through themselves...loving yourself is the middle ground of being too hard on yourself and boasting about yourself, it is truly a wonderful mindset to possess!

    • @rehabbookstechnology7429
      @rehabbookstechnology7429 5 років тому +4

      Agreed fully!

  • @andrewc.2952
    @andrewc.2952 7 років тому +2684

    ... when you don't have somebody to picture.

    • @karolinalubienska7896
      @karolinalubienska7896 7 років тому +61

      Same thoughts here...

    • @aresafonso6675
      @aresafonso6675 7 років тому +136

      yourself

    • @ZosiaSamosiaOo
      @ZosiaSamosiaOo 7 років тому +89

      God :)

    • @Peanutka22
      @Peanutka22 6 років тому +53

      Wait, imaginary friends count as well?
      I don't want to be mean, but religion has nothing to do with this and forcing faith into someones throat never did any good. Ever.

    • @diahayus8747
      @diahayus8747 6 років тому +40

      The sun, lighthouse, and disco ball of mine are my parents. You may think the same

  • @luke304
    @luke304 7 років тому +549

    I hope everyone has a positive day once you read this

    • @GravitySvcks
      @GravitySvcks 4 роки тому +1

      I'll take all the luck I can get👍

    • @hervymarquezgarcia1079
      @hervymarquezgarcia1079 4 роки тому

      I want to cry after hearing about lil Daniel...
      This was a good one

    • @Baddawg_313
      @Baddawg_313 4 роки тому +1

      You too. Hope you found love since you wrote that comment.

    • @m0rk898
      @m0rk898 3 роки тому +1

      Thanks

  • @ledzelda9
    @ledzelda9 8 років тому +566

    I was fortunate enough to go to the high school that Billy works at and hear him give this talk in person. He's honestly one of the most sincere and approachable people I've ever met. I was so glad when I found out this was online. This talk really speaks to a lot of people.

  • @swinxfee
    @swinxfee 7 років тому +1091

    That sad moment when you couldn't think of a person who unconditionally loves you when imagining the sun...

    • @rachaeladeline
      @rachaeladeline 5 років тому +78

      Simply Sookie I could, Jesus Christ 💛 He loves us no matter what, because he died for us.

    • @tradingwithwisdom
      @tradingwithwisdom 5 років тому +18

      Let me be your sun

    • @truebeliever9405
      @truebeliever9405 5 років тому +5

      @@rachaeladeline yeah love I don't feel that the only person I know probably Love's me is Jesus.

    • @rachaeladeline
      @rachaeladeline 5 років тому +5

      Arikm7 And have you actually read the NT? I believe you most likely haven't.
      1 John 3:16 - Hereby perceive we the love [of God], because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down [our] lives for the brethren
      Isaiah 53:5 - But he [was] wounded for our transgressions, [he was] bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace [was] upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
      John 11:25 - Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:
      John 3:16 - For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
      John 5:24 - Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.
      John 8:12 - Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.
      1 John 2:2 - And he (Jesus) is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for [the sins of] the whole world.
      Philippians 2:6-8
      6Who (Jesus), being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:
      7But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:
      8And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.
      I don't know what version you're reading, friend, but you've been entirely misinformed. Christ did die for us so we could be forgiven, and living a life without wanting to know the very thing you were created by would be a very sad life.
      People who really love someone would die for them, and Christ died for you.

    • @rachaeladeline
      @rachaeladeline 5 років тому +1

      Arikm7 and if you actually read the NT and not just bits and pieces you've heard on the internet or from friends with same beliefs, you would know Christ isn't dead but was resurrected. He's not dead in the ground like Muhammad or any other "great prophet."

  • @tekkel06
    @tekkel06 2 роки тому +198

    Something that life taught me, is that we should love everyone without expecting anything in return. Because if you show love to a person that don't like herself, that person might begin to regain trust in herself, and become free to express her love back

    • @spiritualworlds_jeanyang
      @spiritualworlds_jeanyang 11 місяців тому

      Wow, so nicely said!!!! :)

    • @KackMan17
      @KackMan17 11 місяців тому +4

      This is how I feel genuinely about people. We need to love without expecting the love back. People being on the last leg people just need loved.

    • @GoranVinko
      @GoranVinko 10 місяців тому

      "His'

    • @Pinkrevenge101
      @Pinkrevenge101 3 місяці тому

      There are emotionally unavailable people who cant show feelings easily

  • @lulabella9249
    @lulabella9249 7 років тому +694

    Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, "You owe Me"
    Look what happens with a love like that,
    It lights up the Whole Sky
    ~Hafiz~ Persian Poet:)

    • @lauraam4608
      @lauraam4608 7 років тому +1

      Lula Gravel

    • @dulapeep5609
      @dulapeep5609 7 років тому +10

      damn that was beautiful poet..thankss

    • @annegreener5514
      @annegreener5514 6 років тому +1

      Lula Gravel beautiful!

    • @null-cq4gv
      @null-cq4gv 5 років тому +4

      “And the sun doesn’t give the light to the moon assuming the moons gonna owe it one” -LP

    • @fduff1985
      @fduff1985 5 років тому +2

      Sun is a fireball, she has to shine. World has to be around it. So everyone should love everyone around.

  • @emmiesylvester9069
    @emmiesylvester9069 10 місяців тому +105

    My sister sent me this link, and told me that I'm her lighthouse. I'm watching this and genuinely bawling because I could not think of a greater compliment. That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever told me and I'm so honored she sees me that way 😭😭😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰

  • @mindbodyspirit5090
    @mindbodyspirit5090 Рік тому +40

    "once you begin to open yourself to love you will begin to see it everywhere" 👌

  • @radioisayah
    @radioisayah 5 років тому +181

    The toughest guy is the love . Swear I been insecure my entire life . No ones the blame it just happened & I never knew it was me . I'm upset cause I didn't love harder but I most definitely will today. I'm sick of anger I'm tired of feeling unloved , I need it I crave it .

    • @wardcounseling1
      @wardcounseling1 5 років тому +1

      keep sharing the love in your heart! follow me on instagram @billywardmotivation

    • @nahfrfrtho
      @nahfrfrtho 5 років тому +2

      You all deserve it. I believe in all tree of yah

    • @westcoastorbust2462
      @westcoastorbust2462 4 роки тому +1

      You go boy!!

    • @redcrest5
      @redcrest5 4 роки тому +1

      That is true wisdom, my friend. Loving ourselves and others is what makes us feel most whole and happy in life.

    • @sweetmissypetuniawilson9206
      @sweetmissypetuniawilson9206 4 роки тому

      @@wardcounseling1 Daniel is still with you. ❤️
      He is the lucky one! He fulfilled his purpose & got to go home.
      I'm still crying tho 😭

  • @Nanancay
    @Nanancay 9 років тому +698

    I feel like I'm kind of at this level of loving - but I just want to give everyone some 'advice'
    When you look at someone that wears too much makeup or someone that seems like a bitch, or when they seem unsociable - don't immediately cast away the idea of talking to them. There are a LOT of people that I 'vowed' not to talk to and I began to talk to them when we were put in the same class. They're good people. There are some people that seem quite dark from a distance, but when you get close to them they're really nice people. Just don't turn away anyone, because they could end up being a good friend. Forget about these social classes in school or in general and talk to them like you intend to become their friend, and they will become yours.

    • @Nanancay
      @Nanancay 9 років тому +15

      kairoscomic Yeah I WAS SO HAPPY when I started talking to people that I normally didn't. You're 100% right about the making your life richer thing :D you never realise how happy you could be until you meet all these different people, and then the next time you go to class or whatever you have another person that you can relax around. It's a good feeling.

    • @altruex
      @altruex 9 років тому +9

      NANCAY WANG Indeed, I mean I was always that "kid" who people thought was a scary, mean, and unsociable, but when people talk to me they end up telling me that I'm actually a nice person. Nonetheless, don't judge a book by it's cover, because truly, the story is far more interesting than the cover.
      Also, who knows who could use a good friend to listen to, a lot of people are so distant scared of approaching others but of course, all they need is a little light, BE someone's DISCO, and dance all night long. ;)

    • @Nanancay
      @Nanancay 9 років тому +7

      Alex Nguyen YAAAA 100% You seem like a cool person as well,who would wanna miss out on knowing that???
      I don't think people take the 'people have their own problems' thing serious enough - but you have the right idea :D BE THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH! ' Be someones disco, and dance all night long' THATS SO FUN I LOVE IT BRAH you gave me something to smile about, have a great day 8D

    • @shamimshamim2420
      @shamimshamim2420 9 років тому

      Alex Nguyen

    • @tpstrat14
      @tpstrat14 8 років тому +5

      That challenge is never ending, but you are on the right path. First it may be different people in your class, then when you get out into the real world it may be homeless people, violent criminals or sexual offenders. Just always remember that the people who need love the most seem to deserve it the least

  • @lasgav16
    @lasgav16 8 років тому +272

    Thank you. Your talk inspired me to call my daughter who I've been mad at and haven't spoken to for about a month. We have no time to waste, only time to love and be happy.

  • @isaac2560
    @isaac2560 2 роки тому +75

    Last week I made the biggest mistake of my life as a 23 year old. I broke up with my girl, my sun, my lighthouse, my disco ball because I was scared of a serious relationship. The past few days have been painful and I’m grieving deeply but I’ve also learned so much about love and how I’ve done it the wrong way. I’m willing to love unconditionally, the way she needs and deserves and no the ways I want. I’m getting her back, I’ll give her my sincerest love

    • @timchavis9420
      @timchavis9420 Рік тому +8

      Its good you LET her go EMBRACE IT If she meant she’ll return but test things out first

    • @elimiotress916
      @elimiotress916 Рік тому +3

      Hey, did you end up getting your girl?

    • @itsmr.rainbow3861
      @itsmr.rainbow3861 Рік тому +3

      We need to know if you went back with your girl.

    • @kraxk8077
      @kraxk8077 Рік тому +4

      I'm a 23-year-old, just lost a serious relationship 6 days ago. She is my disco ball, she was the one that provided me with warmth the feeling of unconditional love the sunshine. I really hope time heals one day, I'm sure things will be better.:)

  • @paris8780
    @paris8780 4 роки тому +76

    love is love. I truly believe, every person we meet in our lives, we didn't meet them simply by chance, we met them cause they serve a purpose either to guide us, love us, hurt us or to teach us a lesson. Daniel had a purpose and the purpose was to make this speaker the man he is today. RIP Daniel.

  • @TheAMELIOO58
    @TheAMELIOO58 8 років тому +674

    The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

    • @a4e69636b
      @a4e69636b 8 років тому +6

      TheAMELIOO58 Did you ever see the movie Moulin Rouge?

    • @MatthewNJDavis
      @MatthewNJDavis 8 років тому

      +TheAMELIOO58 There is of course The Four Tops' Bernadette; the only joy in life is to be loved.

    • @19lionkingfan
      @19lionkingfan 8 років тому +5

      Ayyye Nat King Cole

    • @ellencherrycutemobile6857
      @ellencherrycutemobile6857 8 років тому

      waths

    • @christinewilson4660
      @christinewilson4660 8 років тому +1

      +TheAMELIOO58 Spoken in a line in a song.

  • @norel156
    @norel156 8 років тому +362

    I'm not good looking, I'm not rich. I'm what , statistics labeled as a throwaway.
    But, I chose to believe in something other than labels or statistics.
    My life matters, and along with many, many other types of encouraging and insightful outlets Ted Talks continues to be a part of my every day life. Thank you.

    • @ephemeraleternity2665
      @ephemeraleternity2665 7 років тому +16

      Shanda Wiman beautifully said. you're a beautiful being (:

    • @redcrest5
      @redcrest5 4 роки тому +14

      Only a soulless 1%er could look at you and consider you a throwaway. Don’t you believe them! You are a whole person with as much right to happily live on this earth as anyone. You are immensely valuable , not a throwaway!
      :-)

    • @lukashanak4042
      @lukashanak4042 3 роки тому +3

      Have a nice day Shanda :)

    • @edwardsrobert3716
      @edwardsrobert3716 3 роки тому +3

      Hey don't label yourself that way okay .if u don't mind would like to know you more

    • @nyssamarie6276
      @nyssamarie6276 3 роки тому +2

      You’re a beautiful woman! God bless your sweet soul

  • @jayo8571
    @jayo8571 5 років тому +18

    “The most important relationship will have is the one with ourselves..”

  • @imomimotv
    @imomimotv 3 роки тому +52

    i watched this once many years ago because i was going through a crisis about the fact that i was never going to be loved. i listened, but i don't think it ever struck anything in me. it was simply a nice story. i'm revisiting this now after those many years and crying at the moment he talks about the sun and to imagine someone who could use a little unconditional loving right now because i imagined myself. i need to learn to accept who i am and love myself because of that, not in spite of it. i suppose the journey begins

    • @edwardsrobert3716
      @edwardsrobert3716 3 роки тому +2

      Hey how re u doing.

    • @Nancy-ej4cu
      @Nancy-ej4cu 6 місяців тому

      How's it going?

    • @meghakapoor1055
      @meghakapoor1055 5 місяців тому

      True start loving yourself and be a creator of love and it will start flowing from you

  • @wowso4
    @wowso4 8 років тому +409

    It's like 12:30am midnight and I found this video and decided to watch it due to having low confidence I'm so glad i did, I'm crying like a baby and I just can't stop crying this was so inspirational and beautiful thank you for the video.

    • @wowso4
      @wowso4 8 років тому +2

      ***** thank you

    • @Hibamaru
      @Hibamaru 6 років тому

      Sandra Jefferson I

    • @hehelol4550
      @hehelol4550 4 роки тому

      I'm doing exactly the same thing

    • @sweetmissypetuniawilson9206
      @sweetmissypetuniawilson9206 4 роки тому +1

      Me too except it's 12:45am! 😭

    • @BarelyNoticeable
      @BarelyNoticeable 3 роки тому

      It’s 12:57 and I was more looking to further deepen my love for myself/others but thats a mood

  • @livp1835
    @livp1835 8 років тому +386

    The world- and esp our sons need more men like this...

  • @nataliatothemoon
    @nataliatothemoon Рік тому +80

    Daniel was such a vibrant soul, I’m so happy you shared his story. Look at that lighthouse for us all ❤
    He was certainly your spirit guide

  • @emmestein
    @emmestein 6 років тому +13

    I had the fortune to meet one person who became my sun, my lighthouse and my disco ball.
    I also lost this person. Death. I see a lot of this person in others. Noticing how all people can be so incredible. I am mourning my star, and I'm thanking this person for giving me such insights that I'd never figure out on my own.

  • @liaward1
    @liaward1 10 років тому +165

    Dear Billy, It's hard to go wrong sharing your life story! I hope viewers can have a 17 minute break for this kind talk and can feel less cynical about the world we live in when it is finished! Love your wife Lia

    • @oddlilbird
      @oddlilbird 9 років тому +11

      And what a beautiful story it is,Lia! Congrats, to both of you, for finding,believing in and creating more love!

    • @madeinhisimage9277
      @madeinhisimage9277 Рік тому

      ❤️❤️❤️

  • @tiffanykaicedo4305
    @tiffanykaicedo4305 8 років тому +18

    Daniel is the physical manifestation of a slice of life character.

  • @dianederita2758
    @dianederita2758 Рік тому +70

    Hands down, the most beautifully articulated loving message in a TED talk ever. Love this so much. Thank you and bravo👏 .

  • @Foxyari91
    @Foxyari91 3 роки тому +6

    My sun is my son. My lighthouse is my mother. And my disco ball is my fiance. I have so much unconditional love and so much to give. And for that, I couldn't be more grateful. I'll unconditionally love all of you that couldn't think of anyone. ❤

  • @alanamiller3953
    @alanamiller3953 7 років тому +203

    What a perfect ending to the story

  • @churleadinglurve
    @churleadinglurve 9 років тому +63

    amazing. I'm tired of seeing comments about "he's only getting views because he's attractive blah blah blah". he can't help what he looks like. no matter what, this was amazing

    • @horsecrazy2266
      @horsecrazy2266 9 років тому

      I completely agree with you

    • @Nanancay
      @Nanancay 9 років тому +2

      Seriously even compared to some of the other TED talks, this guy doesn't even have a lot of views. He's a compassionate guy and this talk was eye opening for a lot of people from what i've read in the comments.

  • @tonoy4xt
    @tonoy4xt 6 років тому +3

    This man has no idea how much this talk has changed my life...

  • @hoorahwalkeraw5651
    @hoorahwalkeraw5651 6 років тому +41

    To love unconditionally even though you know how it’s gonna end.. you choose to live the love.. that’s called the LOVE

  • @CescaTamburini
    @CescaTamburini 8 років тому +192

    Thank you.

  • @alkistisTV
    @alkistisTV 8 років тому +8

    I cried from the exercises, his story about Daniel, about his marriage, this guy is INCREDIBLE and BLESSED/

  • @dauinh1746
    @dauinh1746 Рік тому +1

    can't believe i only found this video now. i was bawling my eyes out as he talks about Daniel....

  • @JJ-yu6og
    @JJ-yu6og 8 років тому +29

    It was important that a man who plays/ed football speak on this subject. I'm glad this speaks to so many boys and men.

  • @flabybo
    @flabybo 9 років тому +35

    Sometimes I ask myself where all these negative comments come from. What do you listeners expect? It may not help you or you may have already known what he tries to teach us but for some people "to love" and "to be loved" is a really big issue. Imagine a world where people were only good to each other. Smiling at each other. Appreciate. Giving value. Wouldn't it be a much better place? To be aware of something doesn't automatically lead to different behavior. He wants to encourage us to spread more love by telling that one of the most impressive persons he's met in his life did exactly and only do this.

  • @rachelmcfarland4069
    @rachelmcfarland4069 2 роки тому +33

    This made me realize that I have no real love in my life. Everyone is either trying to control me or they are selfish but I do like the part that says you are always right when you choose love so I will definitely try this out from now on

    • @helenjene5298
      @helenjene5298 2 роки тому

      do you really want your ex back?? I can recommend you to the powerful man that can help you just within 24hrs he is real and specific.😳

    • @helenjene5298
      @helenjene5298 2 роки тому

      Just kindly message him on WhatsApp.🌷🌺👇

    • @sabrinathellamalord6387
      @sabrinathellamalord6387 Рік тому +2

      @@gwhyborn there’s a saying “we can only love as much as we love ourselves” I thought I could spread love seek it desperately thinking if I could give empty out my heart because I just pour it out for others it’ll find me. I learned that love meant loving you first, when you have self love you have boundaries and know how you’d like to be treated you will be loved the way you deserve to be because you know the love you’d give to yourself

    • @sabrinathellamalord6387
      @sabrinathellamalord6387 Рік тому +1

      @@gwhyborn there’s a saying “we can only love as much as we love ourselves” I thought I could spread love seek it desperately thinking if I could give empty out my heart because I just pour it out for others it’ll find me. I learned that love meant loving you first, when you have self love you have boundaries and know how you’d like to be treated you will be loved the way you deserve to be because you know the love you’d give to yourself

  • @hientrinh2608
    @hientrinh2608 3 роки тому +9

    I rewatch this video everytime I feel lack in selflove. The story's so inspried and
    healing the heart

  • @saxallnite
    @saxallnite 9 років тому +170

    The point should be Love is a verb and NOT a noun as society has transformed it... love is something you do, not something you get... it has nothing to do with trust or lust or how this guy looks or domestic violence.... it is true compassion, it is an act one does not because it was earned or deserved but because there should be apperication for life period no matter your age, religion, sex, gender, etc. ....

  • @sydandtaytum
    @sydandtaytum 8 років тому +196

    i used to believe in unconditional love. after my first serious boyfriend mistreated me repeatedly, i don't know that i can anymore. i kept loving him despite the terrible things he did to me, and in the end it nearly destroyed me. even though it's been years, and i'm over him, i'm still not really over how people can so severely mistreat people they supposedly love.

    • @wowso4
      @wowso4 8 років тому +79

      Darling you have to love yourself first before you can learn to love anyone, never let someone treat you disrespectfully or bad it starts with loving YOU! If you love yourself you will know to walk away from anyone who treats you bad because you stand your worth! take some time to love yourself then be open to meeting people and finding love when your ready best of luck 😊

    • @sydandtaytum
      @sydandtaytum 8 років тому +15

      Sandra Jefferson thank you for taking the time to write that positive message. i am currently going through a breakup, and what you say really resonates with me. i think in this last relationship, neither one of us loved ourselves enough, so we were inadvertently hurting each other because of our insecurities.
      i really want to get to the point where i am totally confident in myself and my life. i just have no idea how to get there...

    • @wowso4
      @wowso4 8 років тому +32

      @Sydandtaytum no problem, I think you attract what you are, meaning if you have low self esteem you will be attracting man that will take advantage of you because they know they can walk all over you and you won't walk away, if you want to learn how to get confidence you have to start by getting to know yourself, date yourself first! I know that sound weird but that's what you have to do. Learn to love yourself by getting to know yourself and doing things you enjoy. Get hobbies, read books on confidence, learn to get out and enjoy your life without dating. When you are comfortable with loving your own company and being happy whether or not you have a man in your life then that's when you will have success in dating. You see you can't put your happiness in a person, because that person can walk away any time. You shouldn't seek happiness from outside, learn to make yourself happy first and not depend on someone to give you that. Also what has helped me is this website called baggageclaim.com it's a dating forum that helps you see more clearly the games some man play check it out Also watch this video on youtube called How to stay positive! Louise Hay How To Love Yourself 10 steps to loving yourself
      It was very helpful for me. you can also read self help books on self esteem and confidence. You seem like such a great girl please don't hate yourself you are worth so much more then you know, best of luck and if you need more help please don't be afraid to go see a counsellor they can help you further. Good luck darling you can add me if you want someone to talk to. 😊😊

    • @wowso4
      @wowso4 8 років тому +2

      ***** wow really good advice.

    • @sydandtaytum
      @sydandtaytum 8 років тому +12

      ***** `thanks for that touching message. i hope i can love openly and without fear one day soon. i really appreciate the little bit of love you sent my way. i hope the universe repays you for your kindness.

  • @MoonLight-wv2yg
    @MoonLight-wv2yg Рік тому +2

    Sad that I just keep listening to those videos without being able changing anything

  • @gozdeo.5590
    @gozdeo.5590 7 років тому +10

    The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.

  • @melissaruston5215
    @melissaruston5215 8 років тому +7

    it is no coincidence that I watched this video on February 7, 2016 while I was in a search of seeking other people who has the same philosophy of love. I found my life's purpose.

  • @JoseHernandez-oz5qe
    @JoseHernandez-oz5qe Рік тому +3

    I’ve battled depression my whole life yet love has been my light in what feels like a storm of darkness. Love, what’s a beautiful feeling (:

  • @smyrnasstory
    @smyrnasstory 3 роки тому +2

    “Clothe yourselves with the tender affections of compassion, kindness, humility, mildness, and patience.”

  • @goose9995
    @goose9995 4 роки тому +8

    When he said he married the cousin and then they named their kid after Daniel I cried

  • @NadiaHxpe
    @NadiaHxpe 9 років тому +17

    This is the loveliest speech I have ever seen.

    • @altruex
      @altruex 9 років тому +1

      Nadia Ali youre the most loveliest speech I ever seen!
      (just a joke, or is it :P
      spread the happiness!)

    • @MrFox-zj8um
      @MrFox-zj8um 6 років тому

      +Alex Nguyen Perverts everywhere?

  • @LabradoodleTofuBoy
    @LabradoodleTofuBoy Рік тому +11

    This is such a beautiful talk. I actually cried. My X broke me. After 7 yrs together he left in the most brutal heartless way. After crying for a month, I realized I need to love myself more than ever! Yes I loved him unconditionally. I thought I lost love & human compassion but this story of Daniel reminds me that this world has a lot of good people who can love me as I can love them

    • @mahen8672
      @mahen8672 Рік тому

      You are precious, beautiful and amazing! & very much loved!❤ Never forget that!

    • @sarahskicks
      @sarahskicks Рік тому +2

      My ex of 5 years left me in a brutal way too. No closure or anything. I’m so sorry you’re going through this!

  • @tatiana486
    @tatiana486 4 роки тому +6

    I love my kids father Ryan. I just realized this whole time he has been my lighthouse. Im so thankful to have a man like him in my life. He has brought me to the point of showing me that I needed to change. I had a lot to learn before I met him. And he has gotten me mentally on the right track so far. I admire him so much. Sometimes I feel I don't deserve him. He is so patient with me and he never judged me. He just wanted to love me and help me. And to bring out the best in me. I love you Ryan. Yes sometimes the way I delineate my love is so wrong. But Im tired of that. I want to show you something different. I know Im capable. I LOVE YOU. Forever and always

  • @janine9129
    @janine9129 3 роки тому +4

    I started tearing up and it’s not even 10 minutes into the video....the 3 examples of light and picturing 3 important people of my life...it’s so emotional

  • @liauribe1
    @liauribe1 8 років тому +23

    Powerful..Daniel's story made me reflect on my own life and how selfish I can be not to love myself and others unconditionally! Thanks, life is truly a gift!

  • @2quick2.0
    @2quick2.0 3 роки тому +18

    Opening myself up to love! Shifting my focus on the stigma of love and being open minded to it! Manifesting and claiming it! I receive it! ❤️🙏🏼✨

  • @DECEIVEDxINxBELIEFS
    @DECEIVEDxINxBELIEFS 3 роки тому +13

    I have been this way as a kid. I have to find my way home again. I always encourage others just, really lost it on social media everyone said im too outrageous now to spend time with. You are meant to be friends with everyone you grew up with forever it fills you with hope and joy and motivation to challenge and succeed. I miss how easy it was as a kid to lo ve and to be loved back, muvh simpler times.

  • @ysteinfrevag9672
    @ysteinfrevag9672 4 роки тому +3

    Love is everything we need and it never fails.

  • @katariousful
    @katariousful 9 років тому +4

    Thank you, Billy, for a great story and lesson. I understand everything that you said because I try to practice love everyday. Sometimes it is hard for variety of reasons. It can be tiring. However, loving myself and others is the greatest gift we have from God. We are meant to love and be loved because God loved us first. Thank you for all you do!

  • @11kaylae
    @11kaylae 5 років тому +8

    1. Remember the one who gives you enlightenment (your sun), your guidance (your lighthouse), your switch to all fun positive things (your discoball).
    2. Be free, be yourself. Accept yourself as you are. Love yourself so you can love others.
    3. Softness like smiles and such are seen as feeble stuff but they're actually not. Give love to receive love.
    4. Love can be found from everyone and everything.

    • @wardcounseling1
      @wardcounseling1 5 років тому

      love it!!! thanks for sharing!! follow me on instagram @billywardmotivation

  • @marionraymond2359
    @marionraymond2359 Рік тому +5

    What a beautiful speech. His moment dedicating us to close our eyes and imagine those we associate with the sun, a lighthouse and a disco ball, I remembered some key people in my life. To my surprise, the light house for him was a close student who left us too early. For me, it was my Papa, a.k.a. my rock, who always steered me in the right direction, may he also rest in peace. Very powerful and emotional speech to listen to.

  • @rayharthcock8728
    @rayharthcock8728 2 роки тому +3

    I’m in this place now and the freedom he speaks of truly is a weightless journey. When you truly Love ppl it’s not a burden to be at service to others, to converse with a complete stranger and agree to disagree still loving each other at the end of it.

  • @ness43011
    @ness43011 8 років тому +15

    I literally teared (more like cried). His speech was beautiful. Really needed to hear what he said at this moment.

  • @05011234567890
    @05011234567890 6 років тому +4

    I'm not crying, you're crying. I'm glad I found this video. My heart needed it.

    • @wardcounseling1
      @wardcounseling1 5 років тому

      wow thanks! follow me on instagram @billywardmotivation

  • @irieasf
    @irieasf 4 дні тому

    love is light and you are love

  • @UrSimpleSmile
    @UrSimpleSmile Рік тому +6

    So true! Thank you. This cannot be repeated enough. Love makes the world go round , as they say. Those who naturally have it, exuberates an angel-like aura, an unquenchable light shining like a beacon in the dark, and you can’t help but be drawn to them.

    • @atandaoluwafemi6043
      @atandaoluwafemi6043 6 місяців тому

      I was really touch deep down my heart, how I wish I can express my love and see how is going to be appreciated it

  • @codedresilience5239
    @codedresilience5239 8 років тому +7

    This video is beautiful. It's exactly the type of love that I desire so much and after hearing many people share their testimonies, especially yours, it motivates me that much harder in accepting and loving myself and loving others.

  • @davidwittchen777
    @davidwittchen777 8 років тому +260

    Wow this is powerful thank you for sharing this beautiful talk. Really touched my heart :)

  • @lisajoynoel8646
    @lisajoynoel8646 2 роки тому +2

    A wonderful talk filled with love. It's like reading a book that you just can't put down and once you finish reading it,you wish it lasted longer to read.

  • @SloppyShotz
    @SloppyShotz 4 роки тому +3

    This is deep I’m 19 years old and love does play a big role in life. Even if it’s unconditional love.

  • @shoshanakent3645
    @shoshanakent3645 3 роки тому +6

    He deserves 3 million views. That was so helpful, inspiring and beautiful. Thank you, Billy Ward.

  • @baileybrown3383
    @baileybrown3383 8 років тому +13

    "love is light" for me following God help me to have hope for better days... with that I then began to love myself and the people around me...

    • @RadislavPirgozliev
      @RadislavPirgozliev Місяць тому

      When I closed mine eyes I pictured the Sun and Helios in fact. Matter of truth we used to have a symbol as such on our villa. 😇

  • @jakesims3420
    @jakesims3420 Рік тому +3

    “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return”- nature boy by nat king cole

  • @rhondaurb
    @rhondaurb 4 роки тому +5

    This brought me to tears. Thank you so much. God bless you and your family.

  • @user-hy2fp4se9w
    @user-hy2fp4se9w 5 років тому +3

    Thank you for your genuine speech and sharing. Tears well up in my eyes. I'm Buffalo from Taiwan.

  • @fannymanson
    @fannymanson 9 років тому +8

    Very sweet talk, I'm glad that Daniel's matchmaking instinct was on target! May their family be blessed and may they continue to share their love story and inspire others!

  • @FreozenTears
    @FreozenTears 2 роки тому +6

    This one is probably the most home hitting TED talk I've seen so far - made me realise a few big things. Thank you!

  • @headlineprod
    @headlineprod 6 років тому +2

    What a moving and eloquent speaker he is. Thank you for sharing your story of hope and love.

  • @gaia4350
    @gaia4350 8 років тому +7

    Most chillingly beautiful story that I've heard

  • @francismausley7239
    @francismausley7239 4 роки тому +5

    Something to strive for... "One must see in every human being only that which is worthy of praise. When this is done, one can be a friend to the whole human race. If, however, we look at people from the standpoint of their faults, then being a friend to them is a formidable task." ~ ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Baha'i Faith

  • @JeslyZarate-xh5ke
    @JeslyZarate-xh5ke 4 місяці тому

    There is not a word that can clearly express the irony and incredible display of this message. How brilliant.

  • @cs2dogs
    @cs2dogs 5 років тому

    This Ted Talk not only had me in tears by the end, but I also found this truly inspirational. Thank you, Billy Ward & Daniel.

  • @AliceStanescu
    @AliceStanescu 9 років тому +16

    A very touching lecture, with such deep and touching ideas and true lessons to learn about being loving, good and kind with anyone, and all the advice is so good to follow in our everyday life, since we should treat everybody with equal love and understanding, just like this teacher said. This is so touching...

  • @malcolmnicoll1165
    @malcolmnicoll1165 8 років тому +10

    Billy Ward's great. This is really a great talk. Thank you for posting. Most appreciated.

  • @StanleyObiefuna
    @StanleyObiefuna 7 місяців тому

    I really wish I could make everyone in the world happy honestly speaking because I is nothing but LOVE , with out love we can unit ideas in life

  • @katya_velour785
    @katya_velour785 Рік тому

    I am so grateful for all the connections and love in my life. ❤️ Being able to love and be loved is the most beautiful thing in the world.

  • @nathanaelnga
    @nathanaelnga 9 років тому +114

    He just described Gods love perfectly.

    • @realestate2181
      @realestate2181 5 років тому

      Which god?

    • @mavericksization
      @mavericksization 5 років тому +1

      Jesus Christ. ... not the guy who supposedly split the moon or the some figure Orthodox Jews are still awaiting. But Jesus Christ ....

  • @Taylor.h
    @Taylor.h 3 роки тому +9

    This was such a beautiful and moving speech. Thank you so much for sharing this touching story.

  • @daniaatari4036
    @daniaatari4036 Рік тому

    I'm so happy when people can b vulnerable to love and b loved like this teacher did. thank u from the bottom of my heart

  • @conr.3624
    @conr.3624 7 місяців тому

    That was one of the most profound stories I’ve ever heard. As a grown man, that brought me to tears

  • @Ashley212131
    @Ashley212131 6 років тому +6

    What an amazing story! I cried and I felt extremely inspired. I'm also happy they ended up together in the end 😭😭😭💕

  • @sofialorenti4626
    @sofialorenti4626 8 років тому +31

    What a beautiful story....love how he married Leah.

    • @KCM25NJL
      @KCM25NJL 8 років тому

      Right? :)........ man, I hope there's a Daniel out there for me.....waiting to introduce me to his Leah :)

    • @mickvd4
      @mickvd4 7 років тому

      Sofia Castiglione Damn Spoilers!

    • @classyme7533
      @classyme7533 4 роки тому

      Sofia Lorenti Omg I was waiting until he said I married Leah. Cutest thing ever ! Really teared me up

  • @ebbflow8002
    @ebbflow8002 Рік тому

    The world would severely benefit from more males who are fearless enough to be this loving.

  • @bluemoon85aus
    @bluemoon85aus 4 роки тому

    One of the most beautiful talks I have ever heard. Heart breaking and soul touching

  • @GabrielMartinez-lu6ks
    @GabrielMartinez-lu6ks 7 років тому +30

    I really needed to get tears out...
    and damn I think I cried too much

  • @KidThisCrazy
    @KidThisCrazy 5 років тому +8

    such a heartwarming story! my grandmother was definitely all of the three and i continue missing her every day

  • @mrsmurdock3534
    @mrsmurdock3534 3 роки тому +1

    I cried while closing my eyes and imagining my unconditional love for this person.

  • @mylomozza
    @mylomozza 4 роки тому +1

    I honestly judged myself super hard for clicking on this video but then he said that Daniel died on February 7th. That's my birthday, I was meant to watch this.

  • @SoulfulSparks555
    @SoulfulSparks555 Рік тому +3

    If Everything is Light (or unresolved light) and Light is Love, everything is Love, or unresolved love. We can all find our way back to love. We are all just walking each other home ❤
    -Rumi (translated)