Summary of video: 1. Marry later in life (higher education, higher income, brain changes till 25 years, personality at 30 correlates to personality at 50) 2. Share power over decisions (men who can be influenced are 'better', women tend to be more influence-able) 3. Have a reliable partner (someone who does what they say they are going to do, someone who steps up to help you feel cared for and protected)
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If you are new to a marriage, please understand that you will struggle in the beginning. You both need time. Time to just live out issues together and try working them out in different ways. Being new to this, you may not know how he/she will react to certain things.. Please do not give up!
I’m definitely not disagreeing with you, but it’s important to note that not all couples will struggle in the beginning. The first four years of my marriage were so blissful. The struggles started in year 5 when I began noticing my husband just seemed so bored and tired of me. That hurt because my heart and aim was ( and still is, after 19 years together) to make him happy. I just didn’t get that in return. He gave up pleasing me, and even trying. When you don’t seek to fulfill your spouse’s needs and desires, and you shut them down when they are trying to communicate with you, it’s really a sad and empty place to be in. It feels hopeless. 19 years in, and it’s still sad how he feels towards me, compared to how I feel about him, but I remain hopeful. Marriage is work, just like a garden, but if you care about it, you’ll water it and put in the work it takes to get the desired outcome.
This super true, about the struggle and all about learning each other ,having little missunderstandings and small dissagramments lol...alot of struggle but above all no giving up till we grow old together.
@@1LovedbyHim If you've been "working on him" for almost two decades that's a lot of free emotional labor you've been doing without getting the same general amount back. Obviously there's some variation in what kind of support each partner in a relationship needs, how much they can give, etc. Obviously you're your own person and unlikely to change your mind based on a youtube comment but, I would consider talking to him about needing something to change. Whether that's something internal to your relationship or needing couple's therapy you shouldn't have to just put up with that.
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What a great talk! "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. “True love is not a hide and seek game, True love both partners seek each other”
I agree with you, nick. Furthermore, I think the plethora of stupid ideologies being thrown around everywhere has been trying to intoxicate the idea of marriage.
@III-GabeN-III eh. It's one aspect. That being said look at the comment section. You can blame feminism but a lot of guys have gleefully embraced the idea that they aren't needed.
Yes it is. Feminism, women in the workforce, propaganda, MGTOW, you name it, Marriage and having children are seen as a curse today which in reality, it's actually a blessing. The prophet Isaiah said it best when he said that there will be a day when that which is sweet is bitter and that which is bitter will be sweet. We are living in those days and it is no good.
Me and my wife have been together for 18 years and just got back together three days ago after being separated for 6 months. Divorce was on the docket but we are doing our best to keep this from happening. Things are definitely looking up but it's still very challenging but it seems to get better every day. We have three children, 2 boys with autism (17 & 3) and our baby girl with Down Syndrome. Our daughter with Down Syndrome had two open heart surgeries fairly recently at 5 months old, then a pacemaker installed. She also has Hirschsprung's disease which led to her having a colostomy bag installed at five days old. She has several more surgeries to go. If I can say this to anyone, I would tell you do what you need to do to make it work. Sometimes you need to suck it up. You can't be fickle. Fight for your family. People say you shouldn't stay together for your children, well that's fine. But if you still love each other as well as your children and are split due to circumstances or tragedies that have put you in a state of constant depression, stress, about everything you can imagine in this situation like this, then you must come together and not give up. You must keep moving forward and keep on fighting. Many other people have it a lot easier or a lot worse than me/us but I've certainly come out of the other side a lot more knowledgeable and appreciative of my wife and all the things our family is capable of when we are a team instead of constantly at odds and bickering. We are learning to get along again and not take our stress out on each other and our kids get to enjoy both of their parents as well. This is what it's all about. For all of you going through tough times out there, keep your chin up and like I said, don't stop fighting, don't lose hope, never lose hope. If you truly care about the other person you're married to, you can't lose hope and you need to keep fighting. If you don't, then it's time to pack it up and move on. But if you love her or him, keep fighting, HARD! A little patience and understanding and reassurance to your spouse goes a long ways. GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL! 💪👊
The path we choose is always for us and for those in our path. The time away was good for you two. Not the kids but you and your wife. In that time you were able to breathe and understand what you have and what you don’t. It was clear you didn’t have the most important thing: each other. Now you can march forward on a different path, and can now put this experience in a box. More love to you both! ❤️
Ronin I have so much respect for you and your wife. My sister's are both on the autistic spectrum, my younger sister also has Cerebral Palsy, and all three of us have the same heart condition. I've watched my parents fight for us and for their relationship countless times and seen them both succeed and fail. It's hard work, but I am eternally grateful that they do it. You speak with the same strength and humility I see in them.
Marriage is about 1) commitment and doing all duties 2) discipline 3) social intelligence to know how to talk and behave in different situations 4) patience
Often ignored piece of advice: Don't be emotionally dependent on your partner and/or don't be in a relationship with someone who is emotionally dependent on you. I don't mean emotionally attached; that's different (and positive). I mean thought processes along the lines of 'My partner is the reason I'm not in a state of depression or suicidal thoughts' or 'I'm not a productive member of society without my partner'.
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God is the reason why I'm still married. My wife and I struggled a lot in our first 3 years of marriage. We hated each other and weren't happy. However, every time I thought about divorce, I feared breaking God's heart and his commandment. I was willing to be unhappy in marriage yet pleased to obey God. Fast forward to today, my wife and I are still married at 14 years and host marriage classes at our church. Our marriage is a blessing and we truly are happy now...it all started with God though.
Thanks for this response. I truly believe that if you know you're identity in God, you are truly whole. your glass is full to where you are not dependant on your spouse for the love but are able to love because that source is from above
@@dimong907 absolutely true. We first love because he loved us. I am full with God. My wife and I each fully depend on God and do not place unrealistic expectations on each other. Thank you for your encouraging words.
I don’t believe in god but I believe in loyalty and sticking together sometimes through harder times and learning to be better people together and learning to work together can take time also sometimes life is inevitably hard and things come up for both or either or of you that’s when loyalty compassion and support matter the most during these trying times
My biggest advice would be - don’t even consider getting married before you got your life figured out and is doing what you love and get paid for it. Some might say “most people never get their life figured out.” Or “most people don’t make their dreams come true.” Well, don’t get married ever than. That might be the best thing in this case. Realize this - nobody should ever push you to do anything in your life. When you wake up in the morning - it’s your own self and the life you’ve built for yourself is what you should grow to love or be forever miserable because of. So be focused on mission, trying to make lives better and grow as a human being. Then, only then if you really really want this - go and get married.
I agree about needing to be good with yourself and not being emotionally dependent. However, I think ideally you find a person that understands your mission and can help push you to build a life you love. I totally get how you have to steer your own ship, but like the video said there should also be room for being influenced. Definitely agree on focusing on helping others and improving yourself.
There are several ideas for making improvements in your marriage Try to communicate more Help each other out more Start to give and take more (I read these and the reasons they work on Pavs Partner Pundit site )
Agree brother. I had financial issues in all my past relationships and fixed that before I got married but never addressed my own personal issues I wanted to fix. My wife was the person who held me accountable to fix my issues and a lot of my problems are from my childhood just like my wife. I just started getting my issues addressed and my wife asked me to leave the house 2 days ago. I messed up I didn’t put in 100 percent effort but there are so many factors not even considered. My wife has anxiety and depression and attempted suicide twice. I knew when I met her she was the one for me and I didn’t care if she had mental issues. Mental health is an issue when my wife is depressed I have to do everything so hard on me but I love my wife. Her own mother told she couldn’t even kill herself correctly her non toxic but she can control my wife. I knew I would need to be a great husband to keep the mother at bay now I out the house and the mother looking like the hero who saved the daughter. I’m 43 and waited to find the right person which I found but so many variables. I just know if resolved my own personal issue I would have a great marriage and back home
I am a 39 year old male and I found happiness with my wife who is 40 years old 10 years ago. We met when i was completing my PhD and she was a graduate student. She divorced an incompetent man wherein made her miserable. We are so compatible and I thank God for her. She is everything, I mean everything i ever wanted in a woman. I do my best for her. Well, what i am trying to say it's all about trust. We even share online accounts, everything is transparency within us. I think it's where it all starts. Respect and transparency.
"The first thing you wanna get before you get married is older"... this is gold. In African communities you are shamed if as a female, you are passed 27 and are not married yet. God forbid you reach 30 and you are still single, then everybody thinks something is wrong with you. Your family starts putting pressure on you and that's how many end up just marrying the first guy who proposes and looks like he has a little bit of money. I'll let you guess how things will go down the line. And as if that wasn't enough, you are considered a failure if you get divorced. Then women just get stuck in these dysfunctional marriages where they are abused just to keep up appearances and save face.
The subject is important not only to those looking to get married, but also to really anyone looking for a relationship. You both have to treat each other well if you want it to be lasting and meaningful, that’s the bottom line really.
Probably one of the most thoughtful comment sections I’ve seen on youtube. Cheers to the informed, analytical and skeptical - millennials or otherwise!
You forgot two terribly significant things. One is that you barely touched at all on the importance of sacrifice and giving. The other is that two people who marry young, in other words make commitments of the utmost importance to each other at a very young age, have the opportunity to grow and learn and develop TOGETHER. What a beautiful thing oh, what a beautiful opportunity, and how sad when people wait till later in life to get married when they're hard and relatively inflexible and so much more set in their ways. Is that the time to learn to be generous and giving and willing to sacrifice of oneself, or is it better to learn/develop those attributes When we are young and--as you pointed out--still learning and growing? I believe the latter.
@@steppy3736 Ditto. Met my sweetheart at 18, married at 23, now 5 amazing children and 25 years later, we're still in live, absolutely committed, and wouldn't want our lives any other way.
Congrats! to ya"ll who were/are able to be married, commited so long. I too, thought I would end up that way, in the future. I met my use to be husband when I was 14 , married when I was 21, him at 23. - together for 13 yrs. It's been long enough feelin like the person has been dead (old self gone) that I can turn distraught into positive.. Thank you God I was able to have my unbuyable presents out of it. 👏😃🙄 hallalulah!!
It's possible to go both ways. While I admire those who met the love of their lives at a young age and stuck together through the years, some of us seemed like we need more time to flourish or sort some issues out first. While I would have loved to start earlier, I realise that I'm probably better off the way I am now and meeting this amazing person in my life...
A perfect marriage isn’t a textbook ideal that all couples should strive for. Instead, your idea of a perfect marriage depends on your own needs, ideals, and relationship. I believe, there are a few elements that help a marriage to be harmonious and stand a better chance at being as near to perfect as possible: - Great Communicators - Slow to Anger, Quick to Forgive - Don’t Go to Bed Angry
*Marriage is like a rollercoaster, strap yourself in & hang on for the ride of a lifetime. You'll experience lots of twists & turns... ups & downs & @ times you'll swear your life was just turned upside down. Once things settle down & your feet are back on the ground, you'll say "wow what a thrill"...let's do that again!*
I honestly don't agree about your mind not changing after 25. When I was 25, I thought I was immortal and i thought I knew everything . Now I'm 30, and realized I don't know much of anything and am still learning.
"We must remember that because a man and a woman have a marriage certificate and living in a home, it does not follow that that is a real home. Perhaps it is a place of discord and hate. When a child is present and the parents do not know the law of life, it is better to break up such a union than have the mood of hate stifle the mind of the child. Many times a child's life and mind are dwarfed by the mood of the parents which result in neurosis, crime, etc. It is far better for a boy to live with one parent who loves him then to live with two who hate each other and fight all the time. The question frequently arises, "should I get a divorce?" This is an individual problem. It cannot be generalized. In some cases divorce is not the solution anymore than marriage is the solution for a lonely man. Divorce might be right for one person and wrong for another. A divorced woman may be far more noble and Godlike than many of her sisters who are living a lie rather than face the truth. In many instances marriage is a sham and a farce. The usual excuses and Alibis to cover up or that it would be bad for John's business, or the neighbors might talk, or it is bad politics, etc. This of course is making a mockery of marriage." - Joseph Murphy
Cheers for the video content! Apologies for the intrusion, I would appreciate your thoughts. Have you heard about - Taparton Protect Marriage Takeover (google it)? It is a good one off product for saving your marriage minus the normal expense. Ive heard some amazing things about it and my cooworker at last got excellent success with it.
This is probably the most accurate and powerful message that I would deliver to all of the young people who so hurry to get married and have babies. I agree with the speaker, these two are the most important decisions we make in life and need to be approached with careful consideration and thought.
Tetyana H what about the eggs?? Don’t the eggs get older and not as good over the years? If a woman doesn’t lock down a high value male when she is at her highest smv she likely won’t get the man she always wanted. Then divorce and walk off with the seed because of hypergamy
Easy! Don’t cheat , don’t lie , keep responsibilities 50/50. Do those things and you’ll both never have an issue ! Works for me and my wife after 16 years , and we are still happy!
@@moomoomoo33ass there is this psychologist that is also married, but doesn't recommend it, solely because of the culture and laws. look here if you're interested therationalmale.com/the-best-of-rational-male-year-one/
Lots of women leave men just like you every day and leave them scratching their heads as to why. Don't think it wont happen to you. She'll leave you on a whim when she grows tired of you. No one respects marriage anymore. Make sure she doesn't take you to the cleaners when she goes.
After five years of marriage i found out the one thing that makes marriage difficult is financial struggle, its not like my husband and i aren’t making money it’s just we barely have time for each other and there’s no amusement or new event it’s just work and the kids and that was fine but i wanted more..then i heard of a financial advisor on the radio who basically makes money for me and right now i have close to 100grand with her in my portfolio. now we pay for our vacation without breaking a sweat or losing sleep
I hope this is true and if so that’s great but I question if this is an attempt to get people’s (who are more than likely vulnerable if they’re watching this) money by having them call the person you suggested. I’m writing this so people are alert, it might be true but just be alert. 1st red flag, u put a specific number of $100,000 which I guess is no big deal but most people would go with “we have became financially stable, and now able to go on vacations etc etc and saying the number grabs more peoples attention, 2nd and by far the biggest red flag, Financial advisors make 0.5 - 2% commission so they usually require $100,000 minimum to even take you on. So me personally, I rate this a level 8 scam or it’s partially true with who the person is but not true on the amount you have invested or your the same person, referring people from this account and responding as the advisor . 🤷🏼♂️
Why are some men opposed to being providers to their wife? Because they don't actually love their wives. When you love a person you want to take care of them , and help them to grow. If they need some help you try to provide it. While it's good for women to have jobs and contribute to the household, women generally take care of 80% of childcare responsibilities and the majority of household administrative issues, as well as the care of the ill, and many of the household chores. So a woman is generally already providing for her husband it's only right he reciprocate.
Get older before you get married Be Influenceable Be Reliable - have your partner's back ...This really needs to be in the description. It doesn't steal the thunder, it makes the points easier to remember later.
Keep sweetness flowing always and learn to compromise whenever misunderstanding arises. Never end the day with unresolved issues. Keep love flowing and intimacy must always present wherever.
I’m 19 now and Whenever I go to someones wedding in my family, it makes me feel skeptical when someone from my family tells me, one day you will find someone to marry and I would say that’s if I find someone to marry, it easier said then done. Most of the girls during my time in school love being with men my age who have good looks, good cars, good money, and good houses to take care of their women. Most of the women I mentioned before ignore good mens blessings and good qualities they offer. I don’t know if there’s a woman who would love to be with a man like me who has nothing.
@@nikolasimoni5018 I’m glad you understand my point I’ve made before. Marriage is something I want to do but I need to be honest with myself. It is difficult to Find a real woman like you said. That part is true. I would love to be with a woman who truly loves me not use me to get what she wants.
@@realdealofskills im gonna be 20 soon and i dont go around girls cuz the ones in my town are all bitches🤣 its gonna be a long and difficult road my brother but we will make it
@@nikolasimoni5018 I’m gonna be 20 soon also from where I live there isn’t a lot of girls who I can talk to without getting them putting me in harms way. Your right, it’s gonna be a long and difficult road.
@@realdealofskills whatever happens,where ever you are never lose hope this is a curel world but also a test and we gonna pass it whenever there is something on the other side or not
Never get married. Yeah no, I cannot share. I hate sharing, and I get pissed when I can't control. I have no interest in caring for someone else. I guess in general is because, I hate people, I'm disappointed by humans. I can't trust them, I have no interest in people, I don't like talking or interacting with people. See, i only want someone around here and there.
Ryan Linden i totally relate to how you feel. Sounds like people have just let you down and that you think you need to just focus on yourself to get your needs met. Have hope, work on yourself, but don’t give up on finding someone that really lights you up. I know that it can seem like no one out there will understand you, or that you just can’t present yourself well enough to be desirable. That’s why I say work on yourself, you are worthy of love and capable of rapid growth. Have fun developing yourself and before you know it you’ll find that person that makes you feel heard and you’ll be overjoyed to share with them. The habits that have really helped me grow are Nofap Meditation Exercise Smiling Journaling Sleep Proper nutrition and hydration Reading Getting involved in some social group, something bigger than yourself. Step by step, dont look at the building and think i cant do it. Focus on today and the bricks you can place to fulfill your needs. I love the podcast “The one you feed” the host says- A life worth living takes consistent, conscious and creative effort. Good luck, I’m sorry your hurting but I believe change is possible and that your pain can help point you somewhere better. Take care
So, being "married" to my singlehander's yacht, having a side kick named Moto Guzzi and regularly changing bedroom flings's supposed to make me happy? Bingo!
I preached this in my 20s....and my peers scoffed. Thought I was being shallow and judgmental with potential partners. I’m glad my thinking is validated. It’s so hard finding someone good. I’m hoping this will change in my 30s.
I think successful marriage depend on ( positive communication) Mainly Which means (Good listening , speaking) And it is the opposite of not caring how the other person feel or wants , abusing, shutting down others, making orders, not being corporative etc.) Happy Marriage is a positive teamwork
Another alogrithm fail. Im not interested in marriage currently. Im single. Im only into feminine women. Im a targeted individual, and the attempts of putting havoc into my life presents problems in my dating life. I need to be selfish when theres a concerted effort in attempting to ruin my life. Im Independent not on any political plantations.
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There are several suggestions for making improvements in your partnership Try to communicate more Help each other out more Try to give and take more (I read these and the reasons they work from Pavs partner pundit website )
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What a toxic comment section. This isn't about political ideologies, this is about learning to make a marriage work. That's on both people, if it's gotten to the point where one person holds everything above the others head, including divorce, whether or not you're married, you've gotten into a toxic relationship. Everyone loses something in a marriage, men lose some stability, women lose some stability. It's about learning to lean on each other and learn to trust another person. Yall need to get off your political high horses and learn to think critically.
Men going their own way, a simple idea. The only thread that I know for certain connects these men is how they will not be interacting with women in anyway that will lead to marriage or an intimate relationship. However, this is not the only pervasive idea. On paper, the biggest rule is, ' I, as a man, will not put myself in a relationship.' Which is fine, but ideas are always given form from experience. These experiences differ, from simply encountering women and not finding them attractive or simply thinking a relationship isn't that great of an idea. But this loose interpretation of what it means to be a member of MGTOW, creates a couple problems. 1. it attracts people with negative experiences and bitter attitudes toward women, and 2. These experiences do pervade the whole of this boys only club, and creates a negative stereotypes of women, in general. These two problems are the exact same as many different third wave radical feminist movements. Negative experience leading to an entire conclusion about a whole body of people. This creates a problem however, because I just used this same tactic in order to judge these two groups, so how is this reconsiled? The judgement is on a group and it's shared ideals intended or not in both cases, while with both of these totally opposing movements condemn individuals based on collective experience. Everyone suffers in both cases. I don't mean to hurt those of these groups, because in both cases those who create these negative stereotypes are often the ones most hurt. But please, don't spread that same hurt to others.
Well said. I sympathize with people who've been through the mill but a strong marriage is the greatest thing in life. Mine has had its downs but wouldn't give it up for the world.
In our 20s, we go through the toughest times of our life. We need to find people in these times. Yes the relationship may last longer after 30s because you both earn high and you dont have problems to deal with and probably because you both have independent life by then and the bond will never be as deep as the people who fall in love in their 20s. To summarize, IMO, relationship in 20s is very deep because they go through hardship together but after 30s, the relationship is not that deep. And yes respect is more important than love in ANY RELATIONSHIP.
I don't believe that divorce avoidance should be the top priority here, but one's happiness. If you've put in a large amount of effort into making things work and it doesn't seem the relationship can be salvaged, it's okay to let it go. Probably better for everyone's emotional and mental health too.
@@Joel-nl2dk Well, I lost track of how often I wished and even prayed (as an early atheist) they would file for divorce back then when I was that kid ...
Divorce avoidance serves a purpose. A couple decides that divorce is "not an option" doesn't mean divorce is *never* an option. What they are saying is they will *always* try to make compromises, discuss issues, and try *before* going to divorce as an "option". I've been with my husband almost 30 years, we have pushed each other to our limits, but divorce has never been an option. Why? Because we are committed to each other & our marriage. Too many people go through difficult times and then divorce, because divorce has become easier than trying.
Of course. I think couples who divorce without trying to remedy their issues first is rare. Nobody is saying to take the easy way out. It's wonderful that you and your husband are committed and loving, unfortunately not everyone is in the same boat, or has a partner who wants to work things out. It really takes two mature people to work as a team, over a lifetime(!) to make a marriage work. It's a lot to ask of some people and isn't for everyone.. and that's okay :) @@steppy3736
In Russia, where I'm from, single women aged 25+ get questions like "What, are you still single?" from relatives and parents' friends so often it's infuriating - and it really does begin to get on one's nerves, even if you know that you did good not getting married to the men you used to date. Finally, thanks to this talk, I can stop being bullied into thinking single at 36 is not ok. Thank you George Blair and TED!
Being single is stigmatized. Everywhere I went I was constantly asked why I was single. I'm happy being single thank you very much. Out of all the things to bug someone about. Get a life.
Please do not stay in a marriage, where you are being disrespected physically or mentally, for that is not love. Do not mistake LUST for LOVE. Love is kind, and it does not hurt. Please quietly leave, before the evil demon kill you and your family and friends. A word to the wise is sufficient.
It is so important to understand the fundamentals of marriage. I started dating my husband when we were 14 years old and have been together ever since. We now have one beautiful baby girl. I made a video of our marriage secret sauce too :)
I clicked on this because i was searching for a movie “good marriage”(by stephen king’s novel). For ya all i just have to say one thing: if u need to go to counseling or resort to online training lectures about successful marriage - your marriage is NOT successful, do not waste time, end it and start living your life happily. We live only once, no time to waste. Myself - more than20 years married, never needed “work hard” or fight for my marriage. We are together because we want to. Not because we have to fight or work. If the day comes one of us stops being happy together - we will get a divorce. Period.
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I like how he mentioned influential men tend to become good fathers as an argument for getting married late. Totally forgets to mention how the older you get after the age of 28, give or take, the harder it is to have children and a family.
Bingo they want to reduce population what better way then to lie to people and say no rush when biologically there should absolutely be a time frame for best results
Right on the money. I hear this all the time. Anyone getting married before 25, getting an education, and getting the job you want typically fail within 3 to 10 years. Always a small percentage that actually lasts til old age.
I'm part of that small percentage. Met my husband at age 18, married at 23, and we're still together 29 years later. I finished my education two years ago. I'm one of the lucky ones whose husband takes strength from my strength and doesn't feel feel his masculinity is threatened by my successes.
The knowing that if a wife was abused by her husband... would she be afraid to report him to the police for fear of retaliation or him going to jail, and she might end up homeless as he could no longer work and pay mortage... When you're dependent on someone, you have few options. Abusers knows this is why they continue to abuse.
@@gawgspates6940 Then how must it be done? If you are referring to being with a person without an official license, so no great ceremony like weddings? Marriage is supposed to be a heartwarming union between two individuals who love each other. And while I agree that divorce laws favor one gender unfairly over another, instead of cruelly saying "Never marry! The woman is likely a leech!", we should advocate for a change in laws that fix this unfair double standard.
3 Ways to build a happy marriage and avoid divorce 1. Get married at an older age - Young marriages divorce more frequently since the body hasn't fully developed yet. 2. Share power and accept influence from your partner 3. Reliability - This builds a sense of trust and safety
There are several ideas for making improvements in your marriage Try to communicate more Help each other out more Start to give and take more (I read these and the reasons they work on Pavs Partner Pundit site )
I dont know why anyone even tries to have a relationship... I gave up on having one years ago and it is amazing! I guess it is not for everyone, I have always been very introverted so I am totally fine without a man... But most women I know all want a man, yet they never seem happy when they are in a relationship... I never met a truly happy couple where both partners were really happy together, one or both of them usually are pretending for some reason (like kids)... I think everyone should learn to be happy and content on their own...
Add on: Self Belief! As a bachelor, if you are attacked by a person who is being backed by his/her spouse, believe that you will have a spouse who will back you against the other couple and other couples, older or younger as well, however happy they are together. Believe that your marriage will be excellent and unbothered by others, leading to a happy bachelor life prior to you entering the institution of marriage as well.
The best way to avoid an unhappy marriage is to get an education and make lots of money. Then you are in a milieu that rarely divorces since most marriage arguments in couples heading for divorce are about money.
What works for me and the spouse is we both have our own careers and paying bills isn't really a problem. We live in one of the biggest cities in the US so it hasn't been an issue for us both to find upward career mobility. It seems like all our friends are dual career couples (mostly engineers married to engineers) and there's been 0 divorces, were all in our early to mid 30s. There's so much less stress in life when you're not worried about how to pay bills and both partners feel like they have freedom to pursue their own passions.
I got my ex husband back with the help of someone who was able to help me bring back my ex husband back to me and he save and solve my relationship problem❤❤❤❤
because marriage, divorce is a big capitalist chain! you got your wedding planners, officiators, divorce lawyers, deeds lawyers....etc....money. The only sad people are the ones in a sad marriage, the rest are laughing their way to the bank, that's why we don't see people discourage divorce or marriage.
@@Tor010 Obviously, LOL. I have, however, met plenty of people who are addicted to beta wave stimulation. It's surprising how much clearer the brain functions when that element is gone from your sphere of influence.
Unfortunately I have trust issues very strong. I grew up like that and no one helped me for so many years. Until I got in a relationship I noticed how how mess I was. It's never been easy, probably I would never learn to trust a man in my life.
this is 100% true from my experience, absolutely every couple I have known in my life are no longer together or are miserable still together! (I am almost 40 now)
3 ways of the speaker are 1) Getting married when you are older 2) Respect and 3) Make sure that your partner have your back and be reliable (and vice versa). I get his points but I think Ted Talk speakers nowadays tend to get lazy on research. This speaker only mentions one study to back up his claim. It's too few to make a solid point. I need Ted Talk speakers, from now on, do more researches, study more, dig deeper, investigate much harder before coming on stage and declare your "theory" as if they are "the facts".
Cheers for the Video! Sorry for the intrusion, I am interested in your initial thoughts. Have you heard the talk about - Taparton Protect Marriage Takeover (erm, check it on google should be there)? It is a good one off guide for saving your marriage without the headache. Ive heard some pretty good things about it and my cousin finally got great success with it.
Okay, 0:30 and I already have so many questions. What about the death of a parent? or death of a sibling? Having an incurable illness? I think those should be the first three. The death of a spouse should be number four.
For men: Don’t get married to begin with. Marriage is a contract between you, her and the state. Guess who’s side the state will be on. Women initiate 80% of divorces. Why? They get to leave with the kids, the home and the cash and prizes. Until there is divorce and family court equity, men need to boycott marriage.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Summary of video:
1. Marry later in life (higher education, higher income, brain changes till 25 years, personality at 30 correlates to personality at 50)
2. Share power over decisions (men who can be influenced are 'better', women tend to be more influence-able)
3. Have a reliable partner (someone who does what they say they are going to do, someone who steps up to help you feel cared for and protected)
I suspected my husband always texting a lady on his phone , We’ve been married for 18 years, we’ve both been happy together until recently when he switched side and I found out he has been cheating .I explained my story to a colleague at work then she introduced me to this genuine hacker, Darkwebprohacker who gave me access to his phone , I had complete access to his phone right on my own device and I could see all his activities for the past 2 years and also have access to new notifications, his text messages, Facebook messages,location, call logs, and I found out my husband was also flirting on dating sites..I love my husband a lot and I still don’t understand why he betrayed me, I have been a good hardworking wife and never for once cheated on him. I tracked him down and found out he was always going to sleep in another woman’s house with me thinking my husband is always at work for night shift. You can contact this great hacker who helped me found out the truth about my husband at darkwebprohack(at)gmail com or Whats app +19087998357 or text and call them directly on the same number.They helped me get access into his phone without even touching his phone.I have enough evidence against my husband and I am thinking of Filing for divorce.I want advice if I should give him another chance or let go ? We have 2 kids together it's a painful feeling but I believe things happen in life it comes as it goes, as it says what doesn't kills makes you stronger.
If you are new to a marriage, please understand that you will struggle in the beginning. You both need time. Time to just live out issues together and try working them out in different ways. Being new to this, you may not know how he/she will react to certain things.. Please do not give up!
I’m definitely not disagreeing with you, but it’s important to note that not all couples will struggle in the beginning. The first four years of my marriage were so blissful. The struggles started in year 5 when I began noticing my husband just seemed so bored and tired of me. That hurt because my heart and aim was ( and still is, after 19 years together) to make him happy. I just didn’t get that in return. He gave up pleasing me, and even trying. When you don’t seek to fulfill your spouse’s needs and desires, and you shut them down when they are trying to communicate with you, it’s really a sad and empty place to be in. It feels hopeless. 19 years in, and it’s still sad how he feels towards me, compared to how I feel about him, but I remain hopeful. Marriage is work, just like a garden, but if you care about it, you’ll water it and put in the work it takes to get the desired outcome.
@@1LovedbyHim You are loyal and thats good
This super true, about the struggle and all about learning each other ,having little missunderstandings and small dissagramments lol...alot of struggle but above all no giving up till we grow old together.
@@1LovedbyHim
If you've been "working on him" for almost two decades that's a lot of free emotional labor you've been doing without getting the same general amount back. Obviously there's some variation in what kind of support each partner in a relationship needs, how much they can give, etc.
Obviously you're your own person and unlikely to change your mind based on a youtube comment but, I would consider talking to him about needing something to change. Whether that's something internal to your relationship or needing couple's therapy you shouldn't have to just put up with that.
@@1LovedbyHim Are you Christian by chance?
Three factors:
1. Sincere love
2. Genuine respect
3. Open communication
Everything else follows.
So true. Thank you
Communication yes, but i think most importantly folloing trough of what you say.
hi everyone ,if anyone else is searching for how god saved my marriage try Bablim Relationship Booster (do a search on google ) ? Ive heard some unbelievable things about it and my partner got excellent success with it.
There are many factors in how to improve your marriage life . One plan I discovered which successfully combines these is the Secret fixer blueprint (google it if you're interested) without a doubt the most incredible resource that I've seen. Check out the great info .
I can't forget how I caught my cheating ex-partner. He was a good liar and I had to get evidence... I got help from an ethical hacker... The hacker helped me get his texts and social media conversations he had with other men while I was busy at work... You guys can try him though his Instagram @westhack000 Sometimes stuff like this is very disappointing but with time, things will get better.
getting married is something that you can always go for it ,but staying as a couple is an art.
What a great talk!
"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
“True love is not a hide and seek game, True love both partners seek each other”
It is true
A good, strong marriage is the absolute best thing in the world. The problem is the world is currently doing everything it can to make it impossible.
I agree with you, nick.
Furthermore, I think the plethora of stupid ideologies being thrown around everywhere has been trying to intoxicate the idea of marriage.
@III-GabeN-III eh. It's one aspect. That being said look at the comment section. You can blame feminism but a lot of guys have gleefully embraced the idea that they aren't needed.
Abdicate blame on something else - yeah right buddy
Maybe because the world isn't composed of good strong marriages it's composed of reality
Yes it is. Feminism, women in the workforce, propaganda, MGTOW, you name it, Marriage and having children are seen as a curse today which in reality, it's actually a blessing. The prophet Isaiah said it best when he said that there will be a day when that which is sweet is bitter and that which is bitter will be sweet. We are living in those days and it is no good.
Me and my wife have been together for 18 years and just got back together three days ago after being separated for 6 months. Divorce was on the docket but we are doing our best to keep this from happening. Things are definitely looking up but it's still very challenging but it seems to get better every day. We have three children, 2 boys with autism (17 & 3) and our baby girl with Down Syndrome. Our daughter with Down Syndrome had two open heart surgeries fairly recently at 5 months old, then a pacemaker installed. She also has Hirschsprung's disease which led to her having a colostomy bag installed at five days old. She has several more surgeries to go. If I can say this to anyone, I would tell you do what you need to do to make it work. Sometimes you need to suck it up. You can't be fickle. Fight for your family. People say you shouldn't stay together for your children, well that's fine. But if you still love each other as well as your children and are split due to circumstances or tragedies that have put you in a state of constant depression, stress, about everything you can imagine in this situation like this, then you must come together and not give up. You must keep moving forward and keep on fighting. Many other people have it a lot easier or a lot worse than me/us but I've certainly come out of the other side a lot more knowledgeable and appreciative of my wife and all the things our family is capable of when we are a team instead of constantly at odds and bickering. We are learning to get along again and not take our stress out on each other and our kids get to enjoy both of their parents as well. This is what it's all about. For all of you going through tough times out there, keep your chin up and like I said, don't stop fighting, don't lose hope, never lose hope. If you truly care about the other person you're married to, you can't lose hope and you need to keep fighting. If you don't, then it's time to pack it up and move on. But if you love her or him, keep fighting, HARD! A little patience and understanding and reassurance to your spouse goes a long ways. GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL! 💪👊
Thanks for the advice & good luck to you as well 👍
The path we choose is always for us and for those in our path. The time away was good for you two. Not the kids but you and your wife. In that time you were able to breathe and understand what you have and what you don’t. It was clear you didn’t have the most important thing: each other. Now you can march forward on a different path, and can now put this experience in a box. More love to you both! ❤️
God bless you n your family!
Ronin I have so much respect for you and your wife. My sister's are both on the autistic spectrum, my younger sister also has Cerebral Palsy, and all three of us have the same heart condition. I've watched my parents fight for us and for their relationship countless times and seen them both succeed and fail. It's hard work, but I am eternally grateful that they do it.
You speak with the same strength and humility I see in them.
Thank you so much for your wise words, I really wish you and your family the best on this world
Marriage is about 1) commitment and doing all duties
2) discipline
3) social intelligence to know how to talk and behave in different situations
4) patience
good insight
Yes
BEST SUMMARY
Often ignored piece of advice: Don't be emotionally dependent on your partner and/or don't be in a relationship with someone who is emotionally dependent on you.
I don't mean emotionally attached; that's different (and positive).
I mean thought processes along the lines of 'My partner is the reason I'm not in a state of depression or suicidal thoughts' or 'I'm not a productive member of society without my partner'.
How do you that?
There are several components to what to do when your marriage is ending . One plan I found that successfully combines these is the Secret fixer blueprint (google it if you're interested) it's the most incredible blueprint that I have ever heard of. look at all the unbelievable information .
I found this video on Secret fixer blueprint - there are many awesome videos there that may help out
I found this video on Secret Fixer Blueprint - there are lots great videos there that will help you
There are a few components to when do you know your marriage is in trouble . One resource I found that succeeds in merging these is the Secret fixer blueprint (google it if you're interested) it's the most useful plan i've seen. look at the awesome information .
God is the reason why I'm still married. My wife and I struggled a lot in our first 3 years of marriage. We hated each other and weren't happy. However, every time I thought about divorce, I feared breaking God's heart and his commandment. I was willing to be unhappy in marriage yet pleased to obey God. Fast forward to today, my wife and I are still married at 14 years and host marriage classes at our church. Our marriage is a blessing and we truly are happy now...it all started with God though.
Thanks for this response. I truly believe that if you know you're identity in God, you are truly whole. your glass is full to where you are not dependant on your spouse for the love but are able to love because that source is from above
@@dimong907 absolutely true. We first love because he loved us. I am full with God. My wife and I each fully depend on God and do not place unrealistic expectations on each other. Thank you for your encouraging words.
I don’t believe in god but I believe in loyalty and sticking together sometimes through harder times and learning to be better people together and learning to work together can take time also sometimes life is inevitably hard and things come up for both or either or of you that’s when loyalty compassion and support matter the most during these trying times
Great talk, especially if you're not married yet. It really puts all the insecurities you develop while thinking about marriage into words
My biggest advice would be - don’t even consider getting married before you got your life figured out and is doing what you love and get paid for it.
Some might say “most people never get their life figured out.” Or “most people don’t make their dreams come true.”
Well, don’t get married ever than. That might be the best thing in this case.
Realize this - nobody should ever push you to do anything in your life.
When you wake up in the morning - it’s your own self and the life you’ve built for yourself is what you should grow to love or be forever miserable because of.
So be focused on mission, trying to make lives better and grow as a human being. Then, only then if you really really want this - go and get married.
Dramatello great advice!
Well said.
I agree about needing to be good with yourself and not being emotionally dependent. However, I think ideally you find a person that understands your mission and can help push you to build a life you love. I totally get how you have to steer your own ship, but like the video said there should also be room for being influenced. Definitely agree on focusing on helping others and improving yourself.
There are several ideas for making improvements in your marriage
Try to communicate more
Help each other out more
Start to give and take more
(I read these and the reasons they work on Pavs Partner Pundit site )
Agree brother. I had financial issues in all my past relationships and fixed that before I got married but never addressed my own personal issues I wanted to fix. My wife was the person who held me accountable to fix my issues and a lot of my problems are from my childhood just like my wife. I just started getting my issues addressed and my wife asked me to leave the house 2 days ago. I messed up I didn’t put in 100 percent effort but there are so many factors not even considered. My wife has anxiety and depression and attempted suicide twice. I knew when I met her she was the one for me and I didn’t care if she had mental issues. Mental health is an issue when my wife is depressed I have to do everything so hard on me but I love my wife. Her own mother told she couldn’t even kill herself correctly her non toxic but she can control my wife. I knew I would need to be a great husband to keep the mother at bay now I out the house and the mother looking like the hero who saved the daughter. I’m 43 and waited to find the right person which I found but so many variables. I just know if resolved my own personal issue I would have a great marriage and back home
I am a 39 year old male and I found happiness with my wife who is 40 years old 10 years ago. We met when i was completing my PhD and she was a graduate student. She divorced an incompetent man wherein made her miserable. We are so compatible and I thank God for her. She is everything, I mean everything i ever wanted in a woman. I do my best for her. Well, what i am trying to say it's all about trust. We even share online accounts, everything is transparency within us. I think it's where it all starts. Respect and transparency.
uhhh.... careful man. all this sounds a lot like euphoria.
you are sharing accounts, because SHE has trust issues, good luck with that
Kahlil Gibran in The Prophet-
And you stand together,
Yet not too near together
Let there be space in your togetherness
Well done!trust is what is number one .
I always hear theses stories then I hear that the man leaves when the woman gets older.
"The first thing you wanna get before you get married is older"... this is gold. In African communities you are shamed if as a female, you are passed 27 and are not married yet. God forbid you reach 30 and you are still single, then everybody thinks something is wrong with you. Your family starts putting pressure on you and that's how many end up just marrying the first guy who proposes and looks like he has a little bit of money. I'll let you guess how things will go down the line. And as if that wasn't enough, you are considered a failure if you get divorced. Then women just get stuck in these dysfunctional marriages where they are abused just to keep up appearances and save face.
The subject is important not only to those looking to get married, but also to really anyone looking for a relationship. You both have to treat each other well if you want it to be lasting and meaningful, that’s the bottom line really.
Having a partner that supports you on your journey to success can have a big influence! I found this very valuable! ❤
indeed, I agree! But you shouldn't be dependent on your partner!
this partner take all your money and all your success , whe she divorce you . Wanna take a risk ?
@@Cheeky_WABUU Haha I hear you! I'm still deciding whether to take that risk or not..., hence I'm still single haha.
That's important, and don't forget that marriage is about two people. So you should support the other part as well so it can perfectly work.
@@EnekonGaming I 100% agree with you. Well said Eneas! ❤
Probably one of the most thoughtful comment sections I’ve seen on youtube. Cheers to the informed, analytical and skeptical - millennials or otherwise!
"Youre with her because you respect her. Make sure that plays out in the decision making process"
Really stuck with me.
You forgot two terribly significant things. One is that you barely touched at all on the importance of sacrifice and giving. The other is that two people who marry young, in other words make commitments of the utmost importance to each other at a very young age, have the opportunity to grow and learn and develop TOGETHER. What a beautiful thing oh, what a beautiful opportunity, and how sad when people wait till later in life to get married when they're hard and relatively inflexible and so much more set in their ways. Is that the time to learn to be generous and giving and willing to sacrifice of oneself, or is it better to learn/develop those attributes When we are young and--as you pointed out--still learning and growing? I believe the latter.
Deepest comment ive read so far. Damn.. I felt that
I agree completely. I met my husband at age 18, married at 23; 29 years later we're going strong!
@@steppy3736 Ditto. Met my sweetheart at 18, married at 23, now 5 amazing children and 25 years later, we're still in live, absolutely committed, and wouldn't want our lives any other way.
Congrats! to ya"ll who were/are able to be married, commited so long. I too, thought I would end up that way, in the future. I met my use to be husband when I was 14 , married when I was 21, him at 23. - together for 13 yrs.
It's been long enough feelin like the person has been dead (old self gone) that I can turn distraught into positive.. Thank you God I was able to have my unbuyable presents out of it. 👏😃🙄 hallalulah!!
It's possible to go both ways. While I admire those who met the love of their lives at a young age and stuck together through the years, some of us seemed like we need more time to flourish or sort some issues out first.
While I would have loved to start earlier, I realise that I'm probably better off the way I am now and meeting this amazing person in my life...
A perfect marriage isn’t a textbook ideal that all couples should strive for. Instead, your idea of a perfect marriage depends on your own needs, ideals, and relationship. I believe, there are a few elements that help a marriage to be harmonious and stand a better chance at being as near to perfect as possible:
- Great Communicators
- Slow to Anger, Quick to Forgive
- Don’t Go to Bed Angry
*Marriage is like a rollercoaster, strap yourself in & hang on for the ride of a lifetime. You'll experience lots of twists & turns... ups & downs & @ times you'll swear your life was just turned upside down. Once things settle down & your feet are back on the ground, you'll say "wow what a thrill"...let's do that again!*
I don't like long rollercoasters😅
I honestly don't agree about your mind not changing after 25. When I was 25, I thought I was immortal and i thought I knew everything . Now I'm 30, and realized I don't know much of anything and am still learning.
Hehehe... wait until you're 60. Seems with each decade, I look back and shake my head at myself. Oi.
"We must remember that because a man and a woman have a marriage certificate and living in a home, it does not follow that that is a real home. Perhaps it is a place of discord and hate. When a child is present and the parents do not know the law of life, it is better to break up such a union than have the mood of hate stifle the mind of the child. Many times a child's life and mind are dwarfed by the mood of the parents which result in neurosis, crime, etc. It is far better for a boy to live with one parent who loves him then to live with two who hate each other and fight all the time. The question frequently arises, "should I get a divorce?" This is an individual problem. It cannot be generalized. In some cases divorce is not the solution anymore than marriage is the solution for a lonely man. Divorce might be right for one person and wrong for another. A divorced woman may be far more noble and Godlike than many of her sisters who are living a lie rather than face the truth. In many instances marriage is a sham and a farce. The usual excuses and Alibis to cover up or that it would be bad for John's business, or the neighbors might talk, or it is bad politics, etc. This of course is making a mockery of marriage." - Joseph Murphy
Cheers for the video content! Apologies for the intrusion, I would appreciate your thoughts. Have you heard about - Taparton Protect Marriage Takeover (google it)? It is a good one off product for saving your marriage minus the normal expense. Ive heard some amazing things about it and my cooworker at last got excellent success with it.
This is probably the most accurate and powerful message that I would deliver to all of the young people who so hurry to get married and have babies. I agree with the speaker, these two are the most important decisions we make in life and need to be approached with careful consideration and thought.
Tetyana H what about the eggs?? Don’t the eggs get older and not as good over the years? If a woman doesn’t lock down a high value male when she is at her highest smv she likely won’t get the man she always wanted. Then divorce and walk off with the seed because of hypergamy
Easy! Don’t cheat , don’t lie , keep responsibilities 50/50. Do those things and you’ll both never have an issue ! Works for me and my wife after 16 years , and we are still happy!
American Guy 👍🏼
American Guy
Don’t let these other pessimists in the comment section being you down!
@@moomoomoo33ass there is this psychologist that is also married, but doesn't recommend it, solely because of the culture and laws. look here if you're interested therationalmale.com/the-best-of-rational-male-year-one/
Lots of women leave men just like you every day and leave them scratching their heads as to why. Don't think it wont happen to you. She'll leave you on a whim when she grows tired of you. No one respects marriage anymore. Make sure she doesn't take you to the cleaners when she goes.
Sounds like you married a narcissist @@Warrior_Resisting_Colonialism :( they do that leave on a whim or cheat.
After five years of marriage i found out the one thing that makes marriage difficult is financial struggle, its not like my husband and i aren’t making money it’s just we barely have time for each other and there’s no amusement or new event it’s just work and the kids and that was fine but i wanted more..then i heard of a financial advisor on the radio who basically makes money for me and right now i have close to 100grand with her in my portfolio. now we pay for our vacation without breaking a sweat or losing sleep
wow impressive, if she is a woman i would like to get to her
i was literally just worried about the exact same thing. may i know your FA please it’s urgent?
@@vanhall9513 sure i get it hun. her name is Lucy Maria Koss, i googled her and reached out to her from her website. Goodluck with your wedding hun!
i think i might have just blown my wedding budget, wish i knew this a month ago
I hope this is true and if so that’s great but I question if this is an attempt to get people’s (who are more than likely vulnerable if they’re watching this) money by having them call the person you suggested. I’m writing this so people are alert, it might be true but just be alert.
1st red flag, u put a specific number of $100,000 which I guess is no big deal but most people would go with “we have became financially stable, and now able to go on vacations etc etc and saying the number grabs more peoples attention,
2nd and by far the biggest red flag, Financial advisors make 0.5 - 2% commission so they usually require $100,000 minimum to even take you on. So me personally, I rate this a level 8 scam or it’s partially true with who the person is but not true on the amount you have invested or your the same person, referring people from this account and responding as the advisor . 🤷🏼♂️
1) trust 2) loyalty 3) respect
Why are some men opposed to being providers to their wife?
Because they don't actually love their wives. When you love a person you want to take care of them , and help them to grow. If they need some help you try to provide it.
While it's good for women to have jobs and contribute to the household, women generally take care of 80% of childcare responsibilities and the majority of household administrative issues, as well as the care of the ill, and many of the household chores. So a woman is generally already providing for her husband it's only right he reciprocate.
Get older before you get married
Be Influenceable
Be Reliable - have your partner's back
...This really needs to be in the description. It doesn't steal the thunder, it makes the points easier to remember later.
Keep sweetness flowing always and learn to compromise whenever misunderstanding arises. Never end the day with unresolved issues. Keep love flowing and intimacy must always present wherever.
Moral of the story is "Prevention is better than the Cure."💕
One of the best ted talks! Dr. George Blair-West is my favourite
1.older
2.respect
3.reliability
I wish there was more applause for his statements. Particularly @ 8:10
I’m 19 now and Whenever I go to someones wedding in my family, it makes me feel skeptical when someone from my family tells me, one day you will find someone to marry and I would say that’s if I find someone to marry, it easier said then done. Most of the girls during my time in school love being with men my age who have good looks, good cars, good money, and good houses to take care of their women. Most of the women I mentioned before ignore good mens blessings and good qualities they offer. I don’t know if there’s a woman who would love to be with a man like me who has nothing.
Same here bro and i value marriage but know it is difficult to find a real women for it
@@nikolasimoni5018 I’m glad you understand my point I’ve made before. Marriage is something I want to do but I need to be honest with myself. It is difficult to Find a real woman like you said. That part is true. I would love to be with a woman who truly loves me not use me to get what she wants.
@@realdealofskills im gonna be 20 soon and i dont go around girls cuz the ones in my town are all bitches🤣 its gonna be a long and difficult road my brother but we will make it
@@nikolasimoni5018 I’m gonna be 20 soon also from where I live there isn’t a lot of girls who I can talk to without getting them putting me in harms way. Your right, it’s gonna be a long and difficult road.
@@realdealofskills whatever happens,where ever you are never lose hope this is a curel world but also a test and we gonna pass it whenever there is something on the other side or not
Never get married. Yeah no, I cannot share. I hate sharing, and I get pissed when I can't control. I have no interest in caring for someone else. I guess in general is because, I hate people, I'm disappointed by humans. I can't trust them, I have no interest in people, I don't like talking or interacting with people. See, i only want someone around here and there.
Ryan Linden i totally relate to how you feel. Sounds like people have just let you down and that you think you need to just focus on yourself to get your needs met. Have hope, work on yourself, but don’t give up on finding someone that really lights you up. I know that it can seem like no one out there will understand you, or that you just can’t present yourself well enough to be desirable. That’s why I say work on yourself, you are worthy of love and capable of rapid growth. Have fun developing yourself and before you know it you’ll find that person that makes you feel heard and you’ll be overjoyed to share with them. The habits that have really helped me grow are
Nofap
Meditation
Exercise
Smiling
Journaling
Sleep
Proper nutrition and hydration
Reading
Getting involved in some social group, something bigger than yourself.
Step by step, dont look at the building and think i cant do it. Focus on today and the bricks you can place to fulfill your needs.
I love the podcast “The one you feed” the host says- A life worth living takes consistent, conscious and creative effort.
Good luck, I’m sorry your hurting but I believe change is possible and that your pain can help point you somewhere better. Take care
@Super Girl, Well I'm happy to see at least 1 person agrees with me. :)
best way to build a happy marriage, is to marry your purpose. it will never divorce you
i dont no about that people who struggle with addictions do so because those addictions become their purpose and ruin their life.
@@MindlessTube women are addictions...that's why you get withdrawal symptoms from a heartbreak
So, being "married" to my singlehander's yacht, having a side kick named Moto Guzzi and regularly changing bedroom flings's supposed to make me happy?
Bingo!
@@38Fanda 🤤
@@manfredschmalbach9023 well, yeah. Most people who have a yacht are pretty happy, man
I preached this in my 20s....and my peers scoffed. Thought I was being shallow and judgmental with potential partners. I’m glad my thinking is validated. It’s so hard finding someone good. I’m hoping this will change in my 30s.
The relationship is over when there is contempt!
Thank you.
3 ways to build a happy marriage and avoid divorce:
1. Get older before you get married
2. Be influence-able
3. Reliability - have your partner's back
I think successful marriage depend on ( positive communication) Mainly Which means (Good listening , speaking)
And it is the opposite of not caring how the other person feel or wants , abusing, shutting down others, making orders, not being corporative etc.)
Happy Marriage is a positive teamwork
Another alogrithm fail. Im not interested in marriage currently. Im single. Im only into feminine women. Im a targeted individual, and the attempts of putting havoc into my life presents problems in my dating life.
I need to be selfish when theres a concerted effort in attempting to ruin my life. Im Independent not on any political plantations.
I have spent months studying improving your marriage and found a great website at Pavs partner pundit (google it if you are interested)
There are several factors in saving your marriage. One resource I discovered which succeeds in merging these is the Pavs partner pundit (google it if you're interested) without a doubt the most useful plan that I've seen. look at the interesting info .
There are several suggestions for making improvements in your partnership
Try to communicate more
Help each other out more
Try to give and take more
(I read these and the reasons they work from Pavs partner pundit website )
Appreciate Video clip! Sorry for chiming in, I would love your initial thoughts. Have you researched - Mahorrla Guard Marriage Method (Have a quick look on google cant remember the place now)? It is a great exclusive guide for Saving Your Marriage without the headache. Ive heard some unbelievable things about it and my buddy got excellent success with it.
What a toxic comment section. This isn't about political ideologies, this is about learning to make a marriage work. That's on both people, if it's gotten to the point where one person holds everything above the others head, including divorce, whether or not you're married, you've gotten into a toxic relationship. Everyone loses something in a marriage, men lose some stability, women lose some stability. It's about learning to lean on each other and learn to trust another person.
Yall need to get off your political high horses and learn to think critically.
Professor Brandon well said sir.
Marriage cannot work. It has been proven.
Yes it is about political, but you're too dumb to notice, i cant blame you, youre jus another beef on the field. haahhahaha.
Men going their own way, a simple idea. The only thread that I know for certain connects these men is how they will not be interacting with women in anyway that will lead to marriage or an intimate relationship. However, this is not the only pervasive idea. On paper, the biggest rule is, ' I, as a man, will not put myself in a relationship.' Which is fine, but ideas are always given form from experience. These experiences differ, from simply encountering women and not finding them attractive or simply thinking a relationship isn't that great of an idea. But this loose interpretation of what it means to be a member of MGTOW, creates a couple problems. 1. it attracts people with negative experiences and bitter attitudes toward women, and 2. These experiences do pervade the whole of this boys only club, and creates a negative stereotypes of women, in general. These two problems are the exact same as many different third wave radical feminist movements. Negative experience leading to an entire conclusion about a whole body of people. This creates a problem however, because I just used this same tactic in order to judge these two groups, so how is this reconsiled? The judgement is on a group and it's shared ideals intended or not in both cases, while with both of these totally opposing movements condemn individuals based on collective experience. Everyone suffers in both cases. I don't mean to hurt those of these groups, because in both cases those who create these negative stereotypes are often the ones most hurt. But please, don't spread that same hurt to others.
Well said. I sympathize with people who've been through the mill but a strong marriage is the greatest thing in life. Mine has had its downs but wouldn't give it up for the world.
In our 20s, we go through the toughest times of our life. We need to find people in these times. Yes the relationship may last longer after 30s because you both earn high and you dont have problems to deal with and probably because you both have independent life by then and the bond will never be as deep as the people who fall in love in their 20s.
To summarize, IMO, relationship in 20s is very deep because they go through hardship together but after 30s, the relationship is not that deep.
And yes respect is more important than love in ANY RELATIONSHIP.
People can still keep secrets about money or lovers though into their 30s or 40s.
Sooo true! I was blessed in this regard.
Its really dumb to get married in my opinion. Numbers never lie. Look at divorce rate and tell me if you are dumb enough to do it
A lot ppl think marriage is like the happily ever after and will
Make them happy , but the reality is, it’s the beginning of true and real love
I don't believe that divorce avoidance should be the top priority here, but one's happiness. If you've put in a large amount of effort into making things work and it doesn't seem the relationship can be salvaged, it's okay to let it go. Probably better for everyone's emotional and mental health too.
Apart from the kids
@@Joel-nl2dk Well, I lost track of how often I wished and even prayed (as an early atheist) they would file for divorce back then when I was that kid ...
Divorce avoidance serves a purpose. A couple decides that divorce is "not an option" doesn't mean divorce is *never* an option. What they are saying is they will *always* try to make compromises, discuss issues, and try *before* going to divorce as an "option". I've been with my husband almost 30 years, we have pushed each other to our limits, but divorce has never been an option. Why? Because we are committed to each other & our marriage. Too many people go through difficult times and then divorce, because divorce has become easier than trying.
Of course. I think couples who divorce without trying to remedy their issues first is rare. Nobody is saying to take the easy way out. It's wonderful that you and your husband are committed and loving, unfortunately not everyone is in the same boat, or has a partner who wants to work things out. It really takes two mature people to work as a team, over a lifetime(!) to make a marriage work. It's a lot to ask of some people and isn't for everyone.. and that's okay :) @@steppy3736
Wonderful video❤
In Russia, where I'm from, single women aged 25+ get questions like "What, are you still single?" from relatives and parents' friends so often it's infuriating - and it really does begin to get on one's nerves, even if you know that you did good not getting married to the men you used to date. Finally, thanks to this talk, I can stop being bullied into thinking single at 36 is not ok. Thank you George Blair and TED!
Being single is stigmatized. Everywhere I went I was constantly asked why I was single. I'm happy being single thank you very much. Out of all the things to bug someone about. Get a life.
Always take care for each other.
*One day we will be dead. But today I’ll give it my best not to blame, complain, drain. Today I’ll give my best not to regret or forget. @*
No one dies. It is lies made up my climate change believers, media etc.
I agree with you 100%. I learned from my past. Now I always strive to be the best version of myself. Thank you so much!!!
be the best version of myself, does anyone ever get out of bed and go you know what, today I'm just gonna half @ss it
Exercise and don't turn into a whale
That's good advice really! Good for health too.
There seems to be a clear correlation between regular exercise and increased happiness.
lmao
😭😭😭 true... but hard... after pregnancy i became a bit of a 🐳
Please do not stay in a marriage, where you are being disrespected physically or mentally, for that is not love.
Do not mistake LUST for LOVE. Love is kind, and it does not hurt. Please quietly leave, before the evil demon kill you and your family and friends. A word to the wise is sufficient.
Lifelong happy marriage is a worthy goal!
Yes it is. Though I didn’t get there.
It is so important to understand the fundamentals of marriage. I started dating my husband when we were 14 years old and have been together ever since. We now have one beautiful baby girl. I made a video of our marriage secret sauce too :)
😮
The best solution is to avoid marriage in the first place. Especially as a man.
I clicked on this because i was searching for a movie “good marriage”(by stephen king’s novel). For ya all i just have to say one thing: if u need to go to counseling or resort to online training lectures about successful marriage - your marriage is NOT successful, do not waste time, end it and start living your life happily. We live only once, no time to waste. Myself - more than20 years married, never needed “work hard” or fight for my marriage. We are together because we want to. Not because we have to fight or work. If the day comes one of us stops being happy together - we will get a divorce. Period.
wow...the last part of his speech 👏
I want to share this testimony After being in relationship with my girlfriend for years, she broke up with me. I did everything within my power to bring her back but all was in vain, I wanted her back so badly because of the love I had for her , I begged her with everything, I made promises but she refused. I explained my problem to my friend and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring ex back , I had no choice than to try it. I messages solution spell caster via whatsapp +2348143279478 and he assured me there was no problem and that everything will be okay before three days. He cast the spell and surprisingly on the second day, my ex lover called me. I was so surprised, I answered the call and all she said that she was so sorry for everything that had happened she wanted me to return to her .she also said she loved me so much. I was so happy and went to her that was how we started living together happily again. The spell casters . You can WhatsApp him if you need his assistance in your relationship or any other Case.
I like how he mentioned influential men tend to become good fathers as an argument for getting married late. Totally forgets to mention how the older you get after the age of 28, give or take, the harder it is to have children and a family.
Bingo they want to reduce population what better way then to lie to people and say no rush when biologically there should absolutely be a time frame for best results
Right on the money. I hear this all the time. Anyone getting married before 25, getting an education, and getting the job you want typically fail within 3 to 10 years. Always a small percentage that actually lasts til old age.
@Tracey Swanson right on. Prime example of what the younger generation needs.
I'm part of that small percentage. Met my husband at age 18, married at 23, and we're still together 29 years later. I finished my education two years ago. I'm one of the lucky ones whose husband takes strength from my strength and doesn't feel feel his masculinity is threatened by my successes.
The knowing that if a wife was abused by her husband... would she be afraid to report him to the police for fear of retaliation or him going to jail, and she might end up homeless as he could no longer work and pay mortage...
When you're dependent on someone, you have few options. Abusers knows this is why they continue to abuse.
The ultimate 100% success rate 'life-hack' to prevent divorce - don't get married! Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back 🤣
Agreed
Best advice on UA-cam.
Then what? Just avoid being together with another? What if I have a woman and we love each other?
Cade Thumann it’s not about being in love or being with someone. It is about not signing a contract between you, her and the state that screws you.
@@gawgspates6940 Then how must it be done? If you are referring to being with a person without an official license, so no great ceremony like weddings?
Marriage is supposed to be a heartwarming union between two individuals who love each other. And while I agree that divorce laws favor one gender unfairly over another, instead of cruelly saying "Never marry! The woman is likely a leech!", we should advocate for a change in laws that fix this unfair double standard.
3 Ways to build a happy marriage and avoid divorce
1. Get married at an older age - Young marriages divorce more frequently since the body hasn't fully developed yet.
2. Share power and accept influence from your partner
3. Reliability - This builds a sense of trust and safety
Relationship is over when there is contempt!
There are several ideas for making improvements in your marriage
Try to communicate more
Help each other out more
Start to give and take more
(I read these and the reasons they work on Pavs Partner Pundit site )
...not necessarily.
I dont know why anyone even tries to have a relationship... I gave up on having one years ago and it is amazing! I guess it is not for everyone, I have always been very introverted so I am totally fine without a man... But most women I know all want a man, yet they never seem happy when they are in a relationship... I never met a truly happy couple where both partners were really happy together, one or both of them usually are pretending for some reason (like kids)... I think everyone should learn to be happy and content on their own...
*praises millennials*
Go on...
😂😂😂😂😂 same tbh
I was born in 1980.. am I a millennial ?
@Dack Hacksaw *old man yells at cloud*
@@mahaenazy based on some of these comments I don't know if you want that title
nope :)
Add on: Self Belief! As a bachelor, if you are attacked by a person who is being backed by his/her spouse, believe that you will have a spouse who will back you against the other couple and other couples, older or younger as well, however happy they are together. Believe that your marriage will be excellent and unbothered by others, leading to a happy bachelor life prior to you entering the institution of marriage as well.
The best way to avoid an unhappy marriage is to get an education and make lots of money. Then you are in a milieu that rarely divorces since most marriage arguments in couples heading for divorce are about money.
Distressing events needs to be updated to include catastrophic world events, pandemics, addiction, disability …
A huge request to the authors of the channel, please turn on the Russian subtitles. There is no place for sanctions in scientific works! Thank!
What works for me and the spouse is we both have our own careers and paying bills isn't really a problem. We live in one of the biggest cities in the US so it hasn't been an issue for us both to find upward career mobility. It seems like all our friends are dual career couples (mostly engineers married to engineers) and there's been 0 divorces, were all in our early to mid 30s.
There's so much less stress in life when you're not worried about how to pay bills and both partners feel like they have freedom to pursue their own passions.
I got my ex husband back with the help of someone who was able to help me bring back my ex husband back to me and he save and solve my relationship problem❤❤❤❤
You can contact him via WhatsApp❤❤❤
+ 2 3 4 8 0 7 3 4 0 0 6 9 4❤❤❤
because marriage, divorce is a big capitalist chain!
you got your wedding planners, officiators, divorce lawyers, deeds lawyers....etc....money. The only sad people are the ones in a sad marriage, the rest are laughing their way to the bank, that's why we don't see people discourage divorce or marriage.
True!
Those things are all optional. One doesn’t have to go broke when getting married.
@@seanhenriques808 true!
Interesting information to know ; preparing ahead of time is so paramount.
Say yes to EVERYTHING
Christian Cerna
Give me all your money and other valuable assets, now!
Sounds like true freedom right there you pansy whipped soyboy lmao.
Romans 13:8: Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.
THE SECRET IS TO HAVE SEPARATE TVs!
Bigger secret' Throw away your tv....
You've obviously never met my wife
@@Tor010 Obviously, LOL. I have, however, met plenty of people who are addicted to beta wave stimulation. It's surprising how much clearer the brain functions when that element is gone from your sphere of influence.
Miguel Bustamante finances are a huge factors in divorce.
@Miguel Bustamante separate houses
i like the way he 's explained..
I love this, couldn’t have came at a better time.
Unfortunately I have trust issues very strong. I grew up like that and no one helped me for so many years. Until I got in a relationship I noticed how how mess I was. It's never been easy, probably I would never learn to trust a man in my life.
All marriages i know are miserable beyond belief, yet everyone pretends to be fine. Its confusing.
this is 100% true from my experience, absolutely every couple I have known in my life are no longer together or are miserable still together! (I am almost 40 now)
🤔, theres a lot that ive known of.
Ha ha...I don't pretend. I even tried to talk my daughter out of marriage...lol.
This hasn’t been my experience at all.
@@CarasGaladhon Maybe because I talk about the men in those marriages.
#1 reason there are no preventative programs for divorce….money for lawyers. Divorce is an industry
sound good, but why do i need to get married?
freddy vs jason you’ll need more than one TED talk to justify a thing like that.
You definitely don't!
You don't. It's a personal choice.
freddy vs jason
When you’re old and alone I bet you’ll really wish you did get married
You're so edgy. @@biggus6633
Thank you for this encouraging word. I feel much better now. I'm 45 and preparing myself to the best wife ever
Where is death of a child on the list?
It can't be rated, it's way to horrible.
3 ways of the speaker are 1) Getting married when you are older 2) Respect and 3) Make sure that your partner have your back and be reliable (and vice versa). I get his points but I think Ted Talk speakers nowadays tend to get lazy on research. This speaker only mentions one study to back up his claim. It's too few to make a solid point.
I need Ted Talk speakers, from now on, do more researches, study more, dig deeper, investigate much harder before coming on stage and declare your "theory" as if they are "the facts".
The best advice: "Don't marry" - Al Bundy
Low expectations is the key. Be prepared for sexual disillusionment.
to learn about avoiding DIVORCE
rather try being UN-MARRIED
( best way to avoid a problem is
by not getting involved in it ...first place )
Bless this man
I approve everything, that my house ingests/use.
Cheers for the Video! Sorry for the intrusion, I am interested in your initial thoughts. Have you heard the talk about - Taparton Protect Marriage Takeover (erm, check it on google should be there)? It is a good one off guide for saving your marriage without the headache. Ive heard some pretty good things about it and my cousin finally got great success with it.
@@abdourobust2890 dog makes me sick.
Thank goodness I broke it off with my ex. At my lowest health times, the dude was absent and chose to party for his 30th. It is what it is
If you're watching this, then it's already too late
Ive never been married and clicked on this out of curiosity because people seem to hype up marriage.....
not at all true! it's the one's watching that are fighting for their marriage. you can't win if you don't even try.
Okay, 0:30 and I already have so many questions. What about the death of a parent? or death of a sibling? Having an incurable illness? I think those should be the first three. The death of a spouse should be number four.
There is only one real (1) way to avoid Divorce........................ DON'T GET MARRIED !!!!
Or marry the right person
@@jeniwatkins3297 😂😂😂
Learned a lot from this channel, thanks for your sharing
Here for the tips! Love TED ❤️
For men: Don’t get married to begin with. Marriage is a contract between you, her and the state. Guess who’s side the state will be on. Women initiate 80% of divorces. Why? They get to leave with the kids, the home and the cash and prizes. Until there is divorce and family court equity, men need to boycott marriage.