I personally very much prefer a solid knife against a bit of gold. I mean, if I show somebody the knife they will gladly part from their jewelry and get away.
AndrewG they were bought by like NBC or one of the big worthless propaganda networks and now they suck balls just like everything these networks touch.
@@andrew_.g theyre still good, but the budget on these short clips must have been immense when being compared to the content that is being uploaded today
"This woman turned in her wedding ring from her first marriage and got the money the next day. If it worked for her it can work for the United States" LMAO
Nathan Fievet the Bronx would be alright if it wasn’t so damn deep, I mean, it takes 2 and a half hours to get from Norwood to Brighton, good think Sheepshead is such a shithole.
Been binging these since last week and I forgot just how well written and funny these short videos are. It was a different world 10-15 years ago, people are walking on eggshells now and things need to get back to great comedic standards, thank God for Dave Chappelle
Well Onion litterally cant do that as the todays news are borderline stupid by themselves Like top tier comedy at this point would be them making actually non sarcastic news
@@kyarumomochi5146 they also just don't have the budget. even if they did, the immersion wouldn't work as well because most people don't watch cable news anymore.
“National debt climbing to 11 trillion dollars” The US in 2020: rookie numbers (27.7 trillion) The US in 2021: rookie numbers (29.6 trillion) The US in 2022: rookie numbers (31.3 trillion) The US in 2023: rookie numbers (34 trillion) someone remind me to update this in 2025 when 2024 stats drop next year lol
@@santosvazquez8829 only so long before more people realize its just paper, and the rest of the world agrees to value it at 70% of what the US gov't says it is.
@@stripes8812 Not gonna happen. Too many large nations hold large amounts of US dollars as a reserve currency. If they said it was worthless then they would be in for a massive loss. Besides, all currency, paper or gold, is worthless when people deem it to be. Lastly, the drawbacks of going back to something like the gold standard are really severe. I mean, talk about suffocating the economy to within an inch of it's life and holding it there!
I am cought in The Onion Black Hole and it is so beautiful here. I have been watching these videos for many many hours now and I can´t and don´t want to stop. I am having a great time here and I greet all the onion fans out there because part of my blissful experience has been reading through all these comments. Cheers from a random German guy
I love how he just keeps talking over her like its a good idea. Hits alittle close to home when you hear politicians(irl) lay out their plans now during press meetings.
The woman playing the anchor is so spot on it's disturbing;). The writing and the acting in these older Onion pieces beat anything out there. Anyone knows more? What was the magic recipe back then? Did they use "real" actors instead of comedians who sometimes are good actors and often aren't (SNL). Did they produce on less frequent deadlines?
“With the national debt climbing to an estimated $11 trillion-“ * looks at current national debt * * $31 trillion * Yep, we’re definitely doing ok right now.
Because the same shit has been happening for 50 years, but since your of age to kinda understand things now, you think it just started when in fact Whats going on is nothing new. Covid is worse then every other pandemic scare theyve had every 2 years for 4 decades, but they needed to retake the white house and crash trumps economy.
Hahahaah these are so brilliant. And the little text inlays and ticker at the bottom have so many Easter eggs I have to pause it over and over to see it all.
@2020starman Actually USA is suppose to have the largest gold reserves. Except we have haven't audited where it is held Fort Knox and various other places.
In Australia we sold a whole mess of our gold about twenty years ago. The price was historically high and the expense of holding was weighing on treasury. Of course that price looks awful cheap now. Very cheap
@@jacobschweiger5897 Your authoritative source on the status of Fort Knox is Wikipedia? Okay. Facts are, there hasn't been a legitimate audit of the gold in decades. The last attempt by Ron Paul was derailed in 8 years ago. Is Fort Knox empty? Probably not, but since they won't allow an official government to audit what's really there, there's probably not as much as they claim.
jcrowley1985. Nixon was an amazing guy, he could fit both a right fist and a left fist inside him, both agendas ripping him apart. Yet he helt it togheter .
It pains me to see an Onion video where they say the US debt is now 11 trillion dollars. Also, it doesn't help that the top comment from 2 years ago said 20 trillion. Its now 23.3 trillion.
Just print the money and pay off the whole debt! What could go wrong? Get that money printer to go brrrr. Nothing bad ever came of governments printing money to pay off debt. Right Germany?
if you borrow 10 trillion dollars in US dollars, then double the money in circulation, you now only have to pay 50% of the original debt. This is the reason you borrow in your own currency lol.
Well, I meant in a long term sense. The markets are quite volatile day-to-day and even year-to-year to some extent, but that doesn't necessarily impact the bigger picture much. The fact is that inflation will continue to occur over the decades but gold will always remain relatively stable, since its supply is comparitively static. During a recession, however, this will become apparent even in the short term, as the sharply declining dollar will yield rocketing gold prices almost immediately.
This is why I love the Onion. As long as you know your watching the onion, and not real news. As one of their episodes was presented recently. It was the(classified), classified episode. Man. some of the idiots there, even though it carried the onion logo, vehimently claimed it was a real session of congress and they were having shit fits over how it was another example of the hill screwing the people. There was some serious name calling going on. Comedy bringing on a societal amagedon.
The national debt is now sadly 20 trillion. I think the plan didnt work.
Yup...
Charles Howard Official Well... dark times have been upon us for about two decades.
Those are pussy numbers. Lets get to 100 quadrillion!
Yeah.. more like 220 trillion. 20 would be nice...in the 70s. Read up idiot
@@Megasigggg if you got a penny in your pocket you're wealthier than our country
"If it worked for her, it CAN work for the United States"
LOL
10 years later...
11 years later..
12 years later, 2021
@@yaminatoday1151 repost
@@yaminatoday1151 13 years later
"1991 Boeing 747-200B - $4200 or best offer."
Lmao i just died.
What a scam
Hey I had my bid in first!!
T Abel it includes a mounted laser according to the discription
No low ballers or tire kickers
I know what I got
“We have two”
"Giant military map that we don't use very often..." Lol.
“That we don’t use very often...” yeah... right...
@@matthewgillespie2835 well yeah, I mean there's only like 2 or 3 countries with out a USA base in it lol they took over a long time ago.. lol
Elijah Mendez that doesn’t mean we can’t always be at war
@@BarginsGalore lol it means America has never known a "peace time"
@@elijahmendez4107 that's what I'm saying. Somehow we can always be at war dispite having bases all over the world.
“they’re certified by the jewelers vigilance committee, it’s says so right on the website”, killed me
"Treasury officials confident plan will work better than selling knives door-to-door"
I'm laughing so hard I can't take this anymore
I personally very much prefer a solid knife against a bit of gold. I mean, if I show somebody the knife they will gladly part from their jewelry and get away.
Yeah, it's better than working for a Multi Level Marketing Scam.
Previous plans include buying lottery tickets, gambling, and selling insurance for Primerica
we made 150 $ from that economic plan so far
180 :)
My dudes, this is literally genius level comedy.
It is, it really fucking is
Oh I thought figuratively.
Nicholas Benham they used to be so good but now they just aren’t we want the good stuff back
AndrewG they were bought by like NBC or one of the big worthless propaganda networks and now they suck balls just like everything these networks touch.
@@andrew_.g theyre still good, but the budget on these short clips must have been immense when being compared to the content that is being uploaded today
They haven’t even spoken to the Cash4gold people yet, and they’re briefing the nation. 🤣
Psaki says the administration is “ looking into it “.
"This woman turned in her wedding ring from her first marriage and got the money the next day. If it worked for her it can work for the United States" LMAO
"Residents in the Bronx are decrying the lack of gentrification"
Well that aged well.
Pedro Rodriguez that’s what I thought lol
@JediNxf7 keep crime high to afford rent!
Nathan Fievet the Bronx would be alright if it wasn’t so damn deep, I mean, it takes 2 and a half hours to get from
Norwood to Brighton, good think Sheepshead is such a shithole.
@@warrcoww6717 just remember if you want to keep affording to live somewhere, murder a neighbour once in a while or fire your gun up the air at 2 AM.
@@nathanfievet5546 this is our way
We need the Onion more than we ever have. I swear, I will never take your high calibre satire for granted again, hell i'll even unblock ads (I won't).
Been binging these since last week and I forgot just how well written and funny these short videos are. It was a different world 10-15 years ago, people are walking on eggshells now and things need to get back to great comedic standards, thank God for Dave Chappelle
Well Onion litterally cant do that as the todays news are borderline stupid by themselves
Like top tier comedy at this point would be them making actually non sarcastic news
@@kyarumomochi5146 they also just don't have the budget. even if they did, the immersion wouldn't work as well because most people don't watch cable news anymore.
@@CringePoop Aww i would have loved to see them :(
“Holywood looks for cheaper alternatives to phillip seymour hoffman”
It’s scary how often ONN predicts the future lol
How did that predict the future? Just because he died?
@@JW-un8ui They recreated him using CGI for movies that he hadn’t finished filming yet
@@day.brakeF1 okay, I stand corrected. 😂
@@JW-un8ui lmfaoo
“National debt climbing to 11 trillion dollars”
The US in 2020: rookie numbers (27.7 trillion)
The US in 2021: rookie numbers (29.6 trillion)
The US in 2022: rookie numbers (31.3 trillion)
The US in 2023: rookie numbers (34 trillion)
someone remind me to update this in 2025 when 2024 stats drop next year lol
Lee now it’s like 25trillion
@@santosvazquez8829 26
PandaTye it’s sad how my comment was accurate when I posted it only to become obsolete so quickly. The government really do be spending too much
@@santosvazquez8829 only so long before more people realize its just paper, and the rest of the world agrees to value it at 70% of what the US gov't says it is.
@@stripes8812 Not gonna happen. Too many large nations hold large amounts of US dollars as a reserve currency. If they said it was worthless then they would be in for a massive loss. Besides, all currency, paper or gold, is worthless when people deem it to be. Lastly, the drawbacks of going back to something like the gold standard are really severe. I mean, talk about suffocating the economy to within an inch of it's life and holding it there!
who else is binging these Onion clips through the 2020 quarantine
@@ryanhenrydean1584 Literally does not belong before an opinion.
You know it brother. Or sister. Or whatever the fuck you are, don't get close enough to let me find out. Social distancing.
meeee
for the record I am still binging these. send help
@@swyxTV I’ll send more onion videos
"they want to keep the gold for sentimental reasons, or it's pretty....."
hahahahahaa
I am cought in The Onion Black Hole and it is so beautiful here. I have been watching these videos for many many hours now and I can´t and don´t want to stop. I am having a great time here and I greet all the onion fans out there because part of my blissful experience has been reading through all these comments. Cheers from a random German guy
Yes, the comments are sometimes as funny as the videos. Greetings to you!
"If it works for her, it can work for the United States"
lmao
"We've already sold an old military map we don't use very often"
It was just sitting there
Next up: the U.S. Government applies for payday loans
"recession forcing japanese companies to remove ceremonial suicide blade from severance package"
They can still sell their gold wedding rings and buy the blade!
This aged well
lol now there is a lot of gentrification in the bronx happening now
exeactly
It takes about 10 years for most Onion reports to become real news.
OryzivorousAllegory
💀💀💀
OryzivorousAllegory shit so that one about the apocalyptic future of earth is happening soon?! Fuck.
@@OryAlle about 10 years for onion reports to be realistic, and about 10% of those reports happen
I love how he just keeps talking over her like its a good idea. Hits alittle close to home when you hear politicians(irl) lay out their plans now during press meetings.
xD "Obama apologizes to nation for eating gelato"
This channel is amazing. You always make my day so much better.
What's crazy is Andrea Bennett i.e. Kyla Grogan actually ended up becoming a meteorologist for Kron4 News
"Woman pretending to be a news anchor gets a job being an actual news anchor"
That should've been an Onion Skit
@@CJVS995 hahahah fr
"That is correct, we've already sold a giant military map that we don't use very often" I rofled XD
lol
"I rofled XD" yeah you can tell this comment was 12 years old without even looking at the age of the comment
@@Triisttan I don't want to talk about it
They mentioned stimulus packages and that's why they are selling the gold, this aged like a fine wine
they did a stimulus check in 2008, thats what theyre referring to here
You’re joking, right?
got 4200 cash that plane still around?
Sorry I bought it! I quickly turned it for a small profit.
@@quietcorner293 small
@@classonbread5757 I sold it for $4210. It appears that no one wants that old thing anyways.
@@quietcorner293 I mean, with you that thing had like 4 previous owners, basically trash.
@@slyseal2091 Maybe you can go on Pimp my 747?!
"Hollywood looks for cheaper alternatives to Philip Seymour Hoffman." Ouch!
“11 trillion dollars” cries in national debt
*watches this video on my new 804" tv I got on Craigslist*
Wow me too but I used Cash4Gold to buy bitcoin
lol!
1:46
"Recession Forcing Japanese Companies to remove Ceremonial Suicide Blade from Severance package"
The woman playing the anchor is so spot on it's disturbing;).
The writing and the acting in these older Onion pieces beat anything out there.
Anyone knows more? What was the magic recipe back then? Did they use "real" actors instead of comedians who sometimes are good actors and often aren't (SNL). Did they produce on less frequent deadlines?
The actors had background in newscasting.
I have an 82” tv that cost me over $1000, so I can confirm that the White House selling that 804” tv for $550 is in fact, a real “steal”.
I like how defensive the US government is lol.
Spencer Graham-Thille it's funny ur so stupid u either think this is real or bring something totally irrelevant to the video to the comment section
“With the national debt climbing to an estimated $11 trillion-“
* looks at current national debt *
* $31 trillion *
Yep, we’re definitely doing ok right now.
You’re forgetting inflation
It's fine, all we need to do is steal 3/4ths of all Bitcoin. That'll pay off our debts.
@@AG-vb6vvinflation in 15 years or so is not 3x
why was the onion so ahead of it's time
*its
Because the same shit has been happening for 50 years, but since your of age to kinda understand things now, you think it just started when in fact Whats going on is nothing new. Covid is worse then every other pandemic scare theyve had every 2 years for 4 decades, but they needed to retake the white house and crash trumps economy.
It's not. Lot's of popular UA-cam channels make clever advertisements disguised as satire.
Absolute genius. May The Onion live on for generations and generations.
I think this is one of the most underrated onion videos ever
It’s been so long since I saw those ads. The memories are flooding back
im on the floor holy shit
wutt
Speedrunning national debt, I see
Never thought I'd see gladJonas here lol.
I'm squatting on the floor too.
then get up idiot
This was so well done. That lady is spot on and the concept is just hilarious. I love the onion.
Damn that’s a crazy deal on an 804 inch TV it’s no wonder why we have debt
hahaha
"we just need that cash now, we have a stimulus to pay off"
hahahaha
Smart move, wish more countries in economic trouble would cash in their chips like this
Hahahaah these are so brilliant. And the little text inlays and ticker at the bottom have so many Easter eggs I have to pause it over and over to see it all.
I wouldn't even be surprised anymore if they actually did this
negotiator fails to get moose out of department store
lol i love the onion :D
Damn 4200 for a 747 that a lretty good deal if you ask me
Anthony Almgren Na bro. See if they take $1000
Not just any 747, but Air Force One, see description below the photo.
You want to pay over 100k a day to keep that bitch running?? No.
It’s all a joke, genius.
r/whooosh
11 years later, still funniest stuff on YT
"1991 Boeing 747-200B $4200 or Best Offer"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
The most unrealistic part of this is the government doing something about the debt.
Why would they? Paying off the interest is far better
Ah yes the Goverment Then also Sent all soldiers into battle with No guns because they Pawned All the Weapons at the Local pawnshop
Not to mention, all millitary veichles were donated to kars for kids in "an act of goodwill"
$11 trillion? Boy, those were the days weren't they? *looks online to see we're at $26 trillion*
@An1mePhreak I heard that you walked around in the plane. Yelling with anger,"they told me that ashtrays would be included!!" lol
2:07 dude imagine playing video games on this as they say you can in the description. 550 bucks? Deal!
11 trillion dollar debt, those were the days
@2020starman Actually USA is suppose to have the largest gold reserves. Except we have haven't audited where it is held Fort Knox and various other places.
In Australia we sold a whole mess of our gold about twenty years ago. The price was historically high and the expense of holding was weighing on treasury. Of course that price looks awful cheap now. Very cheap
I need to stop watching these, i'm meant to be doing work.
They already did this for real. Fort Knox is empty.
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Bullion_Depository false
@@jacobschweiger5897 someone didn't get the joke
implodingbaby it didn’t seem like a joke to me
@@jacobschweiger5897 Your authoritative source on the status of Fort Knox is Wikipedia? Okay.
Facts are, there hasn't been a legitimate audit of the gold in decades. The last attempt by Ron Paul was derailed in 8 years ago.
Is Fort Knox empty? Probably not, but since they won't allow an official government to audit what's really there, there's probably not as much as they claim.
@@jacobschweiger5897 Agreed. The joke was bad.
HAHA I love this anchor too, she's awesome!!
HIlarious as always!!
Lmao I had completely forgotten about those commercials
Well, I'm currently enjoying my air Force 1 plane. What a steal! 😎
You got scammed if you bought it for $4200 a fair price would be $420.69 not $4200.
bet youre not enjoying those gas prices though
Every year that that this video has aged, 1 trillion dollar has been added to the national debt
They gonna do this soon to patch cash printing event
@JohnS1999
Right. It's called "FIAT Currency", aka, "We tell you it has value, so it has value."
This show is like live action South Park
if it worked for her, then it can work for the United States 🤣
That was great, especially the putting Air Force One up on Craigslist
"We already sold that giant military map we don't use very often any more." I love these guys.
"Or because they think it's pretty..."
*lol*
the worst part is that this is something that politicians may so something like this.
hahah the captions are awesome!
i think its funny how the intro to these things are always so epic. lol
This is one of Onions' headlines that is sooooo close to the truth as you can get!!!
Nixon was the one who did this.
(no, this is not satire)
jcrowley1985 Nixon was a saint (no satire or sarcasm)
jcrowley1985. Nixon was an amazing guy, he could fit both a right fist and a left fist inside him, both agendas ripping him apart.
Yet he helt it togheter .
jcrowley1985, Nixon was one of our greatest Presidents, it's a shame what ended coming of him.
This video is pure GOLD, even today 😂
I love the idea of treasury officials turning up at a cash for gold place with 200bn worth of bullion
It pains me to see an Onion video where they say the US debt is now 11 trillion dollars.
Also, it doesn't help that the top comment from 2 years ago said 20 trillion. Its now 23.3 trillion.
Therecreep it’s now 23.5 trillion
@@anactualplant9574 It is now actually 23.6 trillion. I love this government!
@@Therecreep 26 trillion and counting
edit: actually 27.2 trillion
@@hexagonist23 It’s actually $27.2T now
@@Therecreep What if we just never pay the debt
we have the strongest military
Just print the money and pay off the whole debt! What could go wrong? Get that money printer to go brrrr.
Nothing bad ever came of governments printing money to pay off debt. Right Germany?
Yes what could go wrong?
*Hides Venezuela and Zimbabwe on a corner*
if you borrow 10 trillion dollars in US dollars, then double the money in circulation, you now only have to pay 50% of the original debt. This is the reason you borrow in your own currency lol.
The best Onion video in a while....
yes we should've done that. gold just signs and sometimes used in electronics
The Bronx community is crying for gentrification??!! 😂
That was 10 years ago they are getting it today that’s for sure
Hey how much do you want for that 747? I'll give you $300 for it!!
Ha! Loved the news ticker at the bottom also!!
Well, I meant in a long term sense. The markets are quite volatile day-to-day and even year-to-year to some extent, but that doesn't necessarily impact the bigger picture much. The fact is that inflation will continue to occur over the decades but gold will always remain relatively stable, since its supply is comparitively static. During a recession, however, this will become apparent even in the short term, as the sharply declining dollar will yield rocketing gold prices almost immediately.
I like how cash4gold has $200 billion just waiting to exchange for gold reserves
American debt only at eleven trillion dollars? Wow, must be an old video!
*Weeps in 2020*
@@Polyglot_English It's only like 26 trillion basically 11 trillion
Hope cash4gold accepts gold that doesn't exist.
I love that the anchor woman is asking all the right questions.
GREAT EPISODE
boing 747 4.7k or best offer LOL!
This is why I love the Onion. As long as you know your watching the onion, and not real news. As one of their episodes was presented recently. It was the(classified), classified episode. Man. some of the idiots there, even though it carried the onion logo, vehimently claimed it was a real session of congress and they were having shit fits over how it was another example of the hill screwing the people. There was some serious name calling going on. Comedy bringing on a societal amagedon.
Are you still around
@@FieldsOfConfusion I'd like to know too!
this is so amazingly appropriate, dont know where to begin
haha
So that’s where the map that includes New Zealand went to
It's sad that I could legitimately see this happening
The onion is absolutely hilarious. Sadly, it's more truthful than the mainstream media.
The news reporters are rational in this one, lol
"Treasury Department confident plan will work better than selling knives door to door"
2:19
very funny.