I've never questioned my gender or sexuality, but after reading some of the comments below it really hurts me to see that some people who, like me, don't understand how you're feeling because we've never experienced the same things, are just so rude about it! It's so brave of you to make this video, and I wish you all the best in life
I think I might be non binary. Yes I agree with the ‘stabbing’ and the whole , like, when I was younger or even a month ago, I was fine with she/her, now I don’t like it and are secretly offended when I hear someone label be as ‘woman , girl or she / her’. ... I feel uncomfortable as a girl, but I don’t wanna be a guy. I feel more like neither. So I guess I’m Enby? Update: I’m transmasculine now and go by he/they/it :)
If it’s not intrusive could I ask why you dislike the idea of being a guy? Do you feel dysphoria at the thought in the same way you feel dysphoria at the idea of being female?
wow I feel everything you've just described; it's amazing hearing another person articulate the same emotions i've been having for years. the past few months i've felt a bit like a weirdo wondering whether i should medically transition at all. thank you so much for talking about this!
that part about the uneasiness of the definition of nonbinary by rejecting the binary rather than defining an identity really hit something in me. that’s something i’ve always wanted to verbalize but never had the words for. ty.
This is one of the first videos I saw when I pulled up my UA-cam. I relate to this so much, and it’s been very difficult finding my place ever since I started questioning my gender. Non-binary has been able to fit me for a little bit, and it’s hard when others don’t get what it’s like to question or feel dysphoria when it’s constantly on your mind. Sometimes I wonder if it’s all in my head, but it feels so real to me at times. You have helped me feel less alone, thank you for sharing!
Thanks for your nice comment! The more we can share our experiences the more we will realize we aren't alone and there are people all around that are like us. It's definitely not in your head. x
Mya Darji i’m sorry you don’t feel ready yet but i’m happy this video helped you - and just know there is a whole world full of people ready to welcome you on the other side. you have our full support 💛
You explained yourself really well, thanks for the video. I’m the same as you, NB... I’ve had top surgery but will never go on T. I so understand your desire to be understood!!! For me I need friends to know and then we can move on and they just see ‘me’. For me I’ve resigned myself to she pronouns because personally I dislike they/them for myself but obviously respect it if others prefer those for themselves.... I don’t know of any other neutral alternative that doesn’t sound impersonal. If there were one I’d use it in a flash! Anyway, just wanted to say hey and that this is definitely a journey of discovery and finding where you can live peacefully, initially with minimising discomfort but then hopefully progressing to living with joy about who you are. Don’t let society squash you!!! It’s so limited still and you are a precious and unique individual. Ps. I think you’re hot, sorry to add this cheeky end note ;)
Hey! thanks for watching and sharing your story. I know it can be weird to navigate but it’s so nice finding community with people like yourself. And as for pronouns, I probably feel best when people say my name instead of any pronoun at all! They’re all weird to me. and thanks btw! :)
Congrats on coming out! I'm ftm and to me its so hard to come out because idk the persons reaction to me coming out. Its so scary to tell someone you are trans/non binary because maybe in the next moment they're gonna hate you... (if this sounds kinda depressing and negative im sorry) But like i wanna be me but I'm so scared that for example if i tell people at work I'm trans they'll like hate on me which is kind of dumb cause i know that theyll probably be supportive. I work at a climbing gym and I don't want to go back to where i was before working there because i was so lonely and now i have a place to go and have some fun and I'm so scared that I won't have that if i come out...
Do you have a friend there that you trust and maybe you can confide in? If you become close enough to one person there, maybe you can ask them if it would be a good idea to come out to the rest of your coworkers. I know this is a dangerous move, but if they are your friends they should fine with it. It's scary not being able to read people's minds.. maybe listen to if they bring up LGBT topics or try to find a way to bring it up in conversation and test the waters. Just know there are so many people on your side and you will always have a community that has your back, even if it's people online. x
Thank you for this video one of my best friends just came out as non-binary and I'm watching a whole bunch of videos to try and understand it better to help support them.
I, too, am non-binary. This gender stuff is hard, dude. It's hard for us, our friends, families, etc. At the end of the day, what matters most (I think - I'm no expert) is that you feel okay with YOU, you know? Your skin, your day, what you spent your time doing, if you did all you could to appreciate the day you spent. Life is hard, complicated, messy. At times, we will have to contend with misunderstanding and rejection, but the few that love us through it can help push us through. Make sure that YOU love you, too. You are worth it.
I really like your comment and yeah this gender stuff IS difficult. I'm having fears of coming out as nonbinary to my family because it's just a whole new thing i'd have to go through with them when I already got a lot of stuff I'm going to therapy for. It's just a lot right now, it's almost like I'm waiting for my life to be a little more put together before I can handle the reactions i'd receive with my family about my gender. Your comment really gave me hopes in coming out someday and getting to be who I want to be freely when the time comes.
You did such a great job of explaining what it is to be non-binary and how that feels for you. As an enby myself, I relate to so much of what you said. Thank you for taking the time to post this, and for making it public. The world needs more solid non-binary representation like this. I hope this video helps you find the understanding, support, and acceptance you need and deserve from others in your life.
Hi Brynn, I'm sorry I was born in the 70s. I'm a pretty laid back person and I'm a Black woman. I really really want to understand but I just don't get it. But you a beautiful person and you are brave for making this video and putting yourself out there. Like the great Dr. Martin Luther King said it's not the colour of your skin or who you are one the outside that matters, it's the content of your character and what you are on the inside is what matters. It shouldn't be about black, white, male or female it should be about whether you are a good person or bad person. Like I said this is all really really confusing for me. The Trans gender issue I kind of understand, I support it and have a lot of sympathy for people who are not born in the right bodies (I hope I'm saying that right?) But the Non Binary is real head scratcher for me. Hopefully you can explain it to me a bit more. My mind is open, my heart is willing but like I said it's just all confusing? From Sara in London England 💂💖
Hey Sara, thanks for watching and leaving this thoughtful comment. Quite frankly, it’s just something I’ve always felt inside. It has never really felt like I had a choice in the matter.. it’s like your favorite food or song. It just feels good and right and it fits you. I cut my hair short 7 years ago and began to realize I didn’t really like when people thought I was a boy but I didn’t necessarily like when they thought i was a girl either. I feel like I’m in the middle and want to present sort of neutral with masculine and feminine energies coinciding. This is not how all nonbinary people feel certainly- there are some who look very feminine or very masculine.. it’s not a perfect duality. I definitely lean further to the masc side of the scale. But it’s just how I feel inside so it’s hard to explain in some ways. I feel at home when people use my pronouns (they/them) and it feels accurate to how I feel inside. It’s like being genderless. I came out a year ago and I’ve definitely become more comfortable with myself. Thanks for your questions and I am happy to answer any more you may have. cheers
@@BrynnOsborn Hi Brynn thanks for getting back to me so quickly 😊👋 I really appreciate you taking the time to explain what being a non binary person is to you in your case and not a generalised stereotype. From what I am interpreting in your case is that its more of a feeling that you have inside of you which feels both the male and female side but you don't want to be defined as or pigeon-holed as 1 particular sex/gender? Have I got this right? I hope so cos then I would be able to get a better understanding but if Im wrong please educate me.😊 Like I said Brynn my heart is willing and open to listen. There is too much hate in the world and not enough love. I think people of my generation kind of rolled our eyes when we hear gender fluidity but I just think we all need to just sit down and talk to each other in a respectful manner and start a dialogue like you and I having✌💖 I hope I haven't said anything to upset or offend you I'm learning. Would like more dialogue from you as it will able me to know what to do and what to say to a Non Binary person. Peace and Love , Peace and love 💖 Have a nice weekend Brynn 😆Sara from London England 💂
@@sarawashington5485 I, too, was born in the 70's. It's only been recently that I really learned what "non-binary" really meant by hearing someone speak about their experiences. That's when I realized, that's ME! I had often described myself as a "gay man trapped in a woman's body" (I was identified female at birth, and am attracted to men/masculine people), or more recently, as "trans-curious" (I am happy with the body parts I have, but having a penis would be pretty cool, too). I also relate to the stereotypes and media representation of "butch" lesbians (big trucks, power tools, physical strength/toughness), except for the fact that I'm not really attracted to women. Some non-binary people feel more that they are neither gender, but for me, I feel strongly like I am both at once. The way my brain works seems more on the masculine side, but I do like to wear feminine clothes sometimes, and more masculine clothes sometimes. But usually it's a mix of the two (boots, jeans, dress, & hoodie, for example) I never fully understood the typical female social structure and rules, but don't fully fit in with the guys, either. When we were growing up there wasn't really great language for this. "Tomboy" kinda covered it for girls, and "effeminate" for boys, but neither of those really allowed for the non-binary. The only other words society gave was "it" or "he/she" and both of those would have been said with derision, not with acceptance. Sometimes people might have used "cross-dresser" or "androgynous," but that doesn't fully encompass a person's identity, either. People were expected to fit into one binary or the other. Male or female. Gay or straight. And if you didn't want to be one, you had to be the other, or just deal with it. For me, since I didn't want to live as a male, and I wasn't attracted to women, there was no other real option than to just settle into my assigned sex and live as a cis female. And that's what I've done until this week. I had always had the impression that non-binary was the same as "agender" or "androgynous" (which for some people it is), so it never occurred to me that it would apply to me, since I feel very feminine AND very masculine all the time. We were raised that masculine and feminine are opposites, but they aren't, really. I want to be tough, pretty, muscular, logical, graceful, compassionate, nurturing, AND decisive. Those aspects are all over the gender spectrum, but don't exclude one another. I have always bucked the gender norms, this is always something I have been, I just never had the right word for it until now. It's really been freeing to discover this new way to describe myself, and to hear stories of people who have had similar experiences!
Subconsciously, I've questioned my sexuality and gender my whole life, but coming from an abusive, dysfunctional family on top of comphet meant that I spent years ignoring or rationalizing thoughts and attractions. I am very grateful that a younger generation has given me the words to understand what I felt.
This have been the first thing I have ever seen truely makes me feel valid, so thank you for making this. I feel very similar to what you spoke about, but I have never heard anyone put that into words. Thank you
zoogal612 it’s so special to me that this video is reaching people who need it and who are kind enough to leave a comment like this. thank you! this just made my day. I’m so happy to help in any fraction of a way x
you are so well-spoken. so many of the things said here resonate very strongly for me as a fellow enby. thank you sm for this video and i hope you're doing good💞
‘it‘s kind of like they‘re pronouncing your name differently or wrong‘ -- same, exactly!! great video, makes me want to do something similar to try to come out... more clearly, definitively to people?
Thanks to your video I got a better understanding of myself.I live in a homophobic country were still neither same-sex couple marriage is legalized. Actually, my parents noticed that I was seeking for help as an LGBT person and they cried and distanced me from my group of friends that were very supportive. It's sad that people don't let you live on your own.
It would be nice if I could just beam this video into people's brains every time I introduce myself to a new person lol this was perfectly said and its sad that there isn't a better word than non-binary
i have recently discovered my gender and is trying to find people to relate to and i get bullyed for who i am because someone found out and its hard to not say there being mean and im closeted from my family so its hard
Your experience is so much like mine and I’m really confused as well. I am still in the closet because my family doesn’t understand. I came out as Ace and Aro a while ago and had to awkwardly describe it. Sigh
i’m so scared - i feel like non-binary people won’t accept me as one, who is confused about my gender at 18 and i feel like i’m not a she/her or he/him y am i just getting uncomfortable with she/her now?
Hey you! I have found that the enby community is really warm and accepting (at least the little portion that I know :3). I felt the same way, like I shouldn't be a part of the community because I was questioning if I'm really am enby or if I haven't... what, fully experienced a gender? It's funny because I never really did question it, just took my gender for granted for 22 years. When it came to trans people, I'd say like 'it must be horrible not to feel aligned with the body you're born with' and never really considered my case. I even knew a bit about enbys and thought it was really cool for people to be out there expressing what they're feeling like. I never really considered if I felt I was a woman. And then, one random day in this quarantine, my mind finally clicked. I, like you, don't feel like a woman or a man. I describe it to people like an icicle--it simply does not have a gender. And after diving deep and recognizing my feelings, I'm now uncomfortable with the pronouns, but it also takes patience and true, supporting friends and family :) So at the end of the day, the point is for you to feel safe and loved and have a meaningful, genuine life, and it only happens if you let yourself question these kinds of things. Do know that it's okay to figure it out later and, given the case that you no longer identify as an enby, you can go back to being binary and that will be totally fine. This can also just be a community in your journey to recognizing your identity, but either way, it's here and if you'd really like it for someone to say it, I'll be the first: I believe you qualify to be part of the NB community, welcome aboard
Susana Restrepo i’m sobbinggf - ur the 1st person to make me feel excepted in the enby community and i appreciate that soooo much i actually rlly needed this
@@SIRRAUN hey you! I know I'm a little late to your comment, but I recently found some enby groups on Facebook, and they are so wonderful and open, maybe consider joining? 😊
Hi thanks for making this video, it has helped me understand a bit more. I'm part of the lgbtq+ but i don't really know much about being non-binary so im trying to learn more and this cleared up a few things. Also I've wondered, is it that you fit into being female and male, or neither? And does that answer differ from different people? Hopefully that makes sense. Thanks :]
While it is different for each person, I can tell you about my own experiences. :) I have occasionally described myself as a "gay man trapped in a woman's body" (I was identified female at birth, and am attracted to men/masculine people), or more recently (and privately), as "trans-curious" (I am happy with the body parts I have, but having a penis would be pretty cool, too). I also relate to the stereotypes and media representation of "butch" lesbians (big trucks, power tools, physical strength/toughness), except for the fact that I'm not really attracted to women. Some non-binary people feel more that they are neither gender, but for me, I feel strongly like I am both at once. The way my brain works seems more on the masculine side, but I do like to wear feminine clothes sometimes, and more masculine clothes sometimes. But usually it's a mix of the two (boots, jeans, dress, & hoodie, for example) I never fully understood the typical female social structure and rules, but don't fully fit in with the guys, either. When I was growing up there wasn't really great language for this. "Tomboy" kinda covered it for girls, and "effeminate" for boys, but neither of those really allowed for the non-binary. The only other words society gave was "it" or "he/she" and both of those would have been said with derision, not with acceptance. Sometimes people might have used "cross-dresser" or "androgynous," but that doesn't fully encompass a person's identity, either. People were expected to fit into one binary or the other. Male or female. Gay or straight. And if you didn't want to be one, you had to be the other, or just deal with it. For me, since I didn't want to live as a male, and I wasn't attracted to women, there was no other real option than to just settle into my assigned sex and live as a cis female. And that's what I've done until this week. I had always had the impression that non-binary was the same as "agender" or "androgynous" (which for some people it is), so it never occurred to me that it would apply to me, since I feel very feminine AND very masculine all the time. Older generations like mine were raised that masculine and feminine are opposites, but they aren't, really. I want to be tough, pretty, muscular, logical, graceful, compassionate, nurturing, AND decisive. Those aspects are all over the gender spectrum, but don't exclude one another. I have always bucked the gender norms, this is always something I have been, I just never had the right word for it until now. It's really been freeing to discover this new way to describe myself, and to hear stories of people who have had similar experiences!
![Дон ДОН, Алаудинов и СБЕЖАВШИЕ из под Курска ахматовцы 😁 [Пародия]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/dEfCf5IK26Q/mqdefault.jpg)
I've never questioned my gender or sexuality, but after reading some of the comments below it really hurts me to see that some people who, like me, don't understand how you're feeling because we've never experienced the same things, are just so rude about it! It's so brave of you to make this video, and I wish you all the best in life
thanks for watching! I appreciate you being kind. Everyone is simply trying to live their truth
I think I might be non binary. Yes I agree with the ‘stabbing’ and the whole , like, when I was younger or even a month ago, I was fine with she/her, now I don’t like it and are secretly offended when I hear someone label be as ‘woman , girl or she / her’. ... I feel uncomfortable as a girl, but I don’t wanna be a guy. I feel more like neither. So I guess I’m Enby?
Update: I’m transmasculine now and go by he/they/it :)
If it’s not intrusive could I ask why you dislike the idea of being a guy? Do you feel dysphoria at the thought in the same way you feel dysphoria at the idea of being female?
@@harrybacchus6603 no, but currently I’m struggling with gender and self identity so..l I might be transgender male but idk
@@xxfelix_fatalxx what ever happens I wish you the best in your journey of self discovery
Exactly same here...
Ahhhh I’m crying because this is exactly how I feel… 😫
wow I feel everything you've just described; it's amazing hearing another person articulate the same emotions i've been having for years. the past few months i've felt a bit like a weirdo wondering whether i should medically transition at all. thank you so much for talking about this!
That's very kind of you, thanks for watching. It's nice to know we're not alone. x
that part about the uneasiness of the definition of nonbinary by rejecting the binary rather than defining an identity really hit something in me. that’s something i’ve always wanted to verbalize but never had the words for. ty.
you're welcome. it can be difficult to wrap your mind around
It is scary. You are amazing and thank you for sharing. This was helpful for me
thanks for watching!
This is one of the first videos I saw when I pulled up my UA-cam. I relate to this so much, and it’s been very difficult finding my place ever since I started questioning my gender. Non-binary has been able to fit me for a little bit, and it’s hard when others don’t get what it’s like to question or feel dysphoria when it’s constantly on your mind. Sometimes I wonder if it’s all in my head, but it feels so real to me at times. You have helped me feel less alone, thank you for sharing!
Thanks for your nice comment! The more we can share our experiences the more we will realize we aren't alone and there are people all around that are like us. It's definitely not in your head. x
Brynn Osborn thank you! 😊
thank you so much for this video. i’m saving it to show my mum if i’m ever comfortable to come out. this was very validating so thank you ❤️❤️
Mya Darji i’m sorry you don’t feel ready yet but i’m happy this video helped you - and just know there is a whole world full of people ready to welcome you on the other side. you have our full support 💛
You explained yourself really well, thanks for the video. I’m the same as you, NB... I’ve had top surgery but will never go on T.
I so understand your desire to be understood!!! For me I need friends to know and then we can move on and they just see ‘me’.
For me I’ve resigned myself to she pronouns because personally I dislike they/them for myself but obviously respect it if others prefer those for themselves.... I don’t know of any other neutral alternative that doesn’t sound impersonal. If there were one I’d use it in a flash!
Anyway, just wanted to say hey and that this is definitely a journey of discovery and finding where you can live peacefully, initially with minimising discomfort but then hopefully progressing to living with joy about who you are. Don’t let society squash you!!! It’s so limited still and you are a precious and unique individual.
Ps. I think you’re hot, sorry to add this cheeky end note ;)
Hey! thanks for watching and sharing your story. I know it can be weird to navigate but it’s so nice finding community with people like yourself. And as for pronouns, I probably feel best when people say my name instead of any pronoun at all! They’re all weird to me. and thanks btw! :)
Congrats on coming out!
I'm ftm and to me its so hard to come out because idk the persons reaction to me coming out. Its so scary to tell someone you are trans/non binary because maybe in the next moment they're gonna hate you... (if this sounds kinda depressing and negative im sorry)
But like i wanna be me but I'm so scared that for example if i tell people at work I'm trans they'll like hate on me which is kind of dumb cause i know that theyll probably be supportive.
I work at a climbing gym and I don't want to go back to where i was before working there because i was so lonely and now i have a place to go and have some fun and I'm so scared that I won't have that if i come out...
Do you have a friend there that you trust and maybe you can confide in? If you become close enough to one person there, maybe you can ask them if it would be a good idea to come out to the rest of your coworkers. I know this is a dangerous move, but if they are your friends they should fine with it. It's scary not being able to read people's minds.. maybe listen to if they bring up LGBT topics or try to find a way to bring it up in conversation and test the waters. Just know there are so many people on your side and you will always have a community that has your back, even if it's people online. x
Thank you for this video one of my best friends just came out as non-binary and I'm watching a whole bunch of videos to try and understand it better to help support them.
I, too, am non-binary. This gender stuff is hard, dude. It's hard for us, our friends, families, etc. At the end of the day, what matters most (I think - I'm no expert) is that you feel okay with YOU, you know? Your skin, your day, what you spent your time doing, if you did all you could to appreciate the day you spent. Life is hard, complicated, messy. At times, we will have to contend with misunderstanding and rejection, but the few that love us through it can help push us through. Make sure that YOU love you, too. You are worth it.
I really like your comment and yeah this gender stuff IS difficult. I'm having fears of coming out as nonbinary to my family because it's just a whole new thing i'd have to go through with them when I already got a lot of stuff I'm going to therapy for. It's just a lot right now, it's almost like I'm waiting for my life to be a little more put together before I can handle the reactions i'd receive with my family about my gender. Your comment really gave me hopes in coming out someday and getting to be who I want to be freely when the time comes.
thanks for taking the time to be vulnerable and open with us. you mean so much to us. love you. 🖤
You did such a great job of explaining what it is to be non-binary and how that feels for you. As an enby myself, I relate to so much of what you said. Thank you for taking the time to post this, and for making it public. The world needs more solid non-binary representation like this. I hope this video helps you find the understanding, support, and acceptance you need and deserve from others in your life.
I just cried watching this. I’ve known I’m non binary for awhile but hearing it put like this makes me emotional.
This is exactly how I feel, thank you for this video.
Hi Brynn, I'm sorry I was born in the 70s. I'm a pretty laid back person and I'm a Black woman. I really really want to understand but I just don't get it. But you a beautiful person and you are brave for making this video and putting yourself out there. Like the great Dr. Martin Luther King said it's not the colour of your skin or who you are one the outside that matters, it's the content of your character and what you are on the inside is what matters. It shouldn't be about black, white, male or female it should be about whether you are a good person or bad person. Like I said this is all really really confusing for me. The Trans gender issue I kind of understand, I support it and have a lot of sympathy for people who are not born in the right bodies (I hope I'm saying that right?) But the Non Binary is real head scratcher for me. Hopefully you can explain it to me a bit more. My mind is open, my heart is willing but like I said it's just all confusing? From Sara in London England 💂💖
Hey Sara, thanks for watching and leaving this thoughtful comment. Quite frankly, it’s just something I’ve always felt inside. It has never really felt like I had a choice in the matter.. it’s like your favorite food or song. It just feels good and right and it fits you. I cut my hair short 7 years ago and began to realize I didn’t really like when people thought I was a boy but I didn’t necessarily like when they thought i was a girl either. I feel like I’m in the middle and want to present sort of neutral with masculine and feminine energies coinciding. This is not how all nonbinary people feel certainly- there are some who look very feminine or very masculine.. it’s not a perfect duality. I definitely lean further to the masc side of the scale. But it’s just how I feel inside so it’s hard to explain in some ways. I feel at home when people use my pronouns (they/them) and it feels accurate to how I feel inside. It’s like being genderless. I came out a year ago and I’ve definitely become more comfortable with myself. Thanks for your questions and I am happy to answer any more you may have. cheers
@@BrynnOsborn Hi Brynn thanks for getting back to me so quickly 😊👋 I really appreciate you taking the time to explain what being a non binary person is to you in your case and not a generalised stereotype. From what I am interpreting in your case is that its more of a feeling that you have inside of you which feels both the male and female side but you don't want to be defined as or pigeon-holed as 1 particular sex/gender? Have I got this right? I hope so cos then I would be able to get a better understanding but if Im wrong please educate me.😊 Like I said Brynn my heart is willing and open to listen. There is too much hate in the world and not enough love. I think people of my generation kind of rolled our eyes when we hear gender fluidity but I just think we all need to just sit down and talk to each other in a respectful manner and start a dialogue like you and I having✌💖 I hope I haven't said anything to upset or offend you I'm learning. Would like more dialogue from you as it will able me to know what to do and what to say to a Non Binary person. Peace and Love , Peace and love 💖 Have a nice weekend Brynn 😆Sara from London England 💂
@@sarawashington5485 I, too, was born in the 70's. It's only been recently that I really learned what "non-binary" really meant by hearing someone speak about their experiences. That's when I realized, that's ME! I had often described myself as a "gay man trapped in a woman's body" (I was identified female at birth, and am attracted to men/masculine people), or more recently, as "trans-curious" (I am happy with the body parts I have, but having a penis would be pretty cool, too). I also relate to the stereotypes and media representation of "butch" lesbians (big trucks, power tools, physical strength/toughness), except for the fact that I'm not really attracted to women. Some non-binary people feel more that they are neither gender, but for me, I feel strongly like I am both at once. The way my brain works seems more on the masculine side, but I do like to wear feminine clothes sometimes, and more masculine clothes sometimes. But usually it's a mix of the two (boots, jeans, dress, & hoodie, for example) I never fully understood the typical female social structure and rules, but don't fully fit in with the guys, either.
When we were growing up there wasn't really great language for this. "Tomboy" kinda covered it for girls, and "effeminate" for boys, but neither of those really allowed for the non-binary. The only other words society gave was "it" or "he/she" and both of those would have been said with derision, not with acceptance. Sometimes people might have used "cross-dresser" or "androgynous," but that doesn't fully encompass a person's identity, either. People were expected to fit into one binary or the other. Male or female. Gay or straight. And if you didn't want to be one, you had to be the other, or just deal with it. For me, since I didn't want to live as a male, and I wasn't attracted to women, there was no other real option than to just settle into my assigned sex and live as a cis female. And that's what I've done until this week. I had always had the impression that non-binary was the same as "agender" or "androgynous" (which for some people it is), so it never occurred to me that it would apply to me, since I feel very feminine AND very masculine all the time. We were raised that masculine and feminine are opposites, but they aren't, really. I want to be tough, pretty, muscular, logical, graceful, compassionate, nurturing, AND decisive. Those aspects are all over the gender spectrum, but don't exclude one another. I have always bucked the gender norms, this is always something I have been, I just never had the right word for it until now. It's really been freeing to discover this new way to describe myself, and to hear stories of people who have had similar experiences!
Subconsciously, I've questioned my sexuality and gender my whole life, but coming from an abusive, dysfunctional family on top of comphet meant that I spent years ignoring or rationalizing thoughts and attractions. I am very grateful that a younger generation has given me the words to understand what I felt.
This have been the first thing I have ever seen truely makes me feel valid, so thank you for making this. I feel very similar to what you spoke about, but I have never heard anyone put that into words. Thank you
zoogal612 it’s so special to me that this video is reaching people who need it and who are kind enough to leave a comment like this. thank you! this just made my day. I’m so happy to help in any fraction of a way x
you are so well-spoken. so many of the things said here resonate very strongly for me as a fellow enby. thank you sm for this video and i hope you're doing good💞
Perfect! Such a kind, brave, & attractive human!
‘it‘s kind of like they‘re pronouncing your name differently or wrong‘ -- same, exactly!!
great video, makes me want to do something similar to try to come out... more clearly, definitively to people?
Thanks to your video I got a better understanding of myself.I live in a homophobic country were still neither same-sex couple marriage is legalized. Actually, my parents noticed that I was seeking for help as an LGBT person and they cried and distanced me from my group of friends that were very supportive. It's sad that people don't let you live on your own.
It would be nice if I could just beam this video into people's brains every time I introduce myself to a new person lol this was perfectly said and its sad that there isn't a better word than non-binary
i have recently discovered my gender and is trying to find people to relate to and i get bullyed for who i am because someone found out and its hard to not say there being mean and im closeted from my family so its hard
Love You! You are brave and you are loved!
Hey, if they really do care they’ll spend the time trying to understand. Here I am, at 1am, watching these random videos to understand my friend more.
Your experience is so much like mine and I’m really confused as well. I am still in the closet because my family doesn’t understand. I came out as Ace and Aro a while ago and had to awkwardly describe it. Sigh
i’m so scared - i feel like non-binary people won’t accept me as one, who is confused about my gender at 18
and i feel like i’m not a she/her or he/him
y am i just getting uncomfortable with she/her now?
Hey you! I have found that the enby community is really warm and accepting (at least the little portion that I know :3). I felt the same way, like I shouldn't be a part of the community because I was questioning if I'm really am enby or if I haven't... what, fully experienced a gender? It's funny because I never really did question it, just took my gender for granted for 22 years. When it came to trans people, I'd say like 'it must be horrible not to feel aligned with the body you're born with' and never really considered my case. I even knew a bit about enbys and thought it was really cool for people to be out there expressing what they're feeling like. I never really considered if I felt I was a woman. And then, one random day in this quarantine, my mind finally clicked. I, like you, don't feel like a woman or a man. I describe it to people like an icicle--it simply does not have a gender. And after diving deep and recognizing my feelings, I'm now uncomfortable with the pronouns, but it also takes patience and true, supporting friends and family :)
So at the end of the day, the point is for you to feel safe and loved and have a meaningful, genuine life, and it only happens if you let yourself question these kinds of things. Do know that it's okay to figure it out later and, given the case that you no longer identify as an enby, you can go back to being binary and that will be totally fine. This can also just be a community in your journey to recognizing your identity, but either way, it's here and if you'd really like it for someone to say it, I'll be the first: I believe you qualify to be part of the NB community, welcome aboard
Susana Restrepo i’m sobbinggf - ur the 1st person to make me feel excepted in the enby community and i appreciate that soooo much
i actually rlly needed this
@@SIRRAUN hey you! I know I'm a little late to your comment, but I recently found some enby groups on Facebook, and they are so wonderful and open, maybe consider joining? 😊
Frederikke Bruun Petersen hey boo lolz
wonderful ^7^
can i get the link? ^u^
thank you sooo much 🤍
Hi thanks for making this video, it has helped me understand a bit more. I'm part of the lgbtq+ but i don't really know much about being non-binary so im trying to learn more and this cleared up a few things. Also I've wondered, is it that you fit into being female and male, or neither? And does that answer differ from different people? Hopefully that makes sense. Thanks :]
While it is different for each person, I can tell you about my own experiences. :)
I have occasionally described myself as a "gay man trapped in a woman's body" (I was identified female at birth, and am attracted to men/masculine people), or more recently (and privately), as "trans-curious" (I am happy with the body parts I have, but having a penis would be pretty cool, too). I also relate to the stereotypes and media representation of "butch" lesbians (big trucks, power tools, physical strength/toughness), except for the fact that I'm not really attracted to women. Some non-binary people feel more that they are neither gender, but for me, I feel strongly like I am both at once. The way my brain works seems more on the masculine side, but I do like to wear feminine clothes sometimes, and more masculine clothes sometimes. But usually it's a mix of the two (boots, jeans, dress, & hoodie, for example) I never fully understood the typical female social structure and rules, but don't fully fit in with the guys, either.
When I was growing up there wasn't really great language for this. "Tomboy" kinda covered it for girls, and "effeminate" for boys, but neither of those really allowed for the non-binary. The only other words society gave was "it" or "he/she" and both of those would have been said with derision, not with acceptance. Sometimes people might have used "cross-dresser" or "androgynous," but that doesn't fully encompass a person's identity, either. People were expected to fit into one binary or the other. Male or female. Gay or straight. And if you didn't want to be one, you had to be the other, or just deal with it. For me, since I didn't want to live as a male, and I wasn't attracted to women, there was no other real option than to just settle into my assigned sex and live as a cis female. And that's what I've done until this week. I had always had the impression that non-binary was the same as "agender" or "androgynous" (which for some people it is), so it never occurred to me that it would apply to me, since I feel very feminine AND very masculine all the time. Older generations like mine were raised that masculine and feminine are opposites, but they aren't, really. I want to be tough, pretty, muscular, logical, graceful, compassionate, nurturing, AND decisive. Those aspects are all over the gender spectrum, but don't exclude one another. I have always bucked the gender norms, this is always something I have been, I just never had the right word for it until now. It's really been freeing to discover this new way to describe myself, and to hear stories of people who have had similar experiences!
LOVELY !!! Another non-binary person here. And yeah it's hard to explain but I have done two videos about it.
Nice video.
So, what pronouns do you go by? Is 'they' better because it's gender neutral?
Yep, I use they/them pronouns or people can just say my name.
yeah i felt that
💖
you're fucking awesome, i adore you
It feels like shit to me- i always get bullied abt this😑 anyways bye