You really never have a voice with these people. But needing them to hear you and actually acknowledge anything will never happen. Accepting reality helps me.
This was a really great video for me to hear. Because my mind just wakes up miserable. And will think back on the pain like it's just flipping through a daily file. I have to shake myself out of it and ask myself why do you feel so down?. I don't want him back, and I want to take it slow making new friendships. So this is a great explanation for why I'm having trouble being my old optimistic self again. Thanks for the explanation I really got a lot out of it 🙂👍
I surely needed to start listening to this lady. I’m in the process of breaking off and through a 9 yr relationship with a malignant Narc I’m 62 I can do this 🙏🏻
Wow how amazingly true these things your saying really are. I thought I was the only one feeling these things, thank you thank you thank you. Unless you've gone through all these things you'd think I'm just acting over the top but in reality I'm being enlightened and freed all at the same time and how wonderful it is to feel this way.
Michele you are incredible and truly gifted at unveiling this darkness in the human condition. You do a real service. God bless you for helping others. 💖🌹💖
The comments on children were so true for me at the moment. My 31 year old son is living with me at the moment. He was diagnosed at 24 with Aspergers Syndrome but he is also definitely on the narcissistic scale even by his own admission. Observe but don't absorb is something I have to learn to do.
Aspergers and Narcissism may seem vaguely similar to an untrained eye (speaking respectfully but honestly) but they are actually the antithesis of each other. People with aspergers have incredible empathy for animals and nature, Temple Grandin and Greta Thunberg for example, amongst many, many others. People on the dark triad spectrum do not usually have empathy at all, for humans or animals and one of the main traits of sociopaths/psychopaths and so on is lack of compassion and cruelty towards animals. Genuine aspies do not have this problem. Especially not female aspies, whose special interests are almost always animals and nature. I recommend a second opinion.
You sound like a standup gentleman that only wants the best. Everyone is great at something. Build off of that. You can be a great failure too. But as long as you try. It's all worth it. Get him to hand bottled water out to people and work on social skills. He may even gain confidence to smile and talk to people without out prejudice. There is so much potential.
I feel like my life is wasting away. I had so many dreams about having my own career, travelling...now I feel like I can barely get through my day, all in the name of being a good woman.
I was taught that showing unhappiness is not safe. And as I result I only show happiness on the outside but am dying on the inside. Just like how the joker laughs in the movie "joker" when he feels strong negative emotion. He draws a smiley face on his face with paint
Michele, you are an answer to prayer. You not only educate, you provide useful cognitive and behavioral techniques which improve lives. You are doing a great work in this troublesome world. Thank you.
This was an amazing video! So many times I felt like I was going crazy when a guy would suggest going places and not getting back to me, then telling me not to take things personally when his friend bullied me for my values. Being around narcissists has affected me and I have a hard time trusting men and know I need to take it slow with relationships. Unfortunately, I find it difficult to meet guys who also want to take things slow. It seems like a lot of men I encounter just want to rush everything and that now causes me to be cautious and wonder if they are manipulative.
Right now, I feel like what you say here is just everything for me. Now I see that these triggers differentiate the person with CPTSD from the narcissist, in a way, because the narc engages in a relentless campaign to devalue, but the Person with CPTSD is mostly just acting on their triggers. So helpful! And the encouragement toward calmness is what I need, because growing up with narcs made that counterintuitive for me. They taught me that you must go into a fight response, but that is so wrong.
Not only came to hate your own happiness but the happiness of others as well because they only got happy after they made you miserable. Double bad association with happiness.
I also get really triggered by others being happy Ina very unhealthy way... But it's something between "stop it - I'll get into trouble for being in your presence and accused of being not-miserable" and "what makes you so special/deserving that you can be happy without being punished for it". It's really irritating - I hate myself for being triggered by something so natural. Been working on that part, but I just keep going between angry, upset, sad and grieving. Getting better, though the baby steps don't feel like enough :( In a way I'm so relieved I'm not the only one struggling with this.
Broken records and one sided conversations will eventually spin you counterclockwise So here I am trying to fix my watch to the time of reason with a very pleasant sounding alarm and a beautiful face Thank you Michele for your peaceful voice and soul condition So good to be here to look and listen If you were really a watch or even a locket I would keep you in my best vest pocket God bless
Sometimes, people say things that are exactly like the type of things that toxic people in my life have said to me. Sometimes, it's not even what they say but the tone of voice they are saying it in. I tried to explain that to someone, but they don't get it. I guess what I am saying is I recognize toxicity in people, and I don't always think it's in the past. Sometimes people are really being too critical and too belittling right now in the present, and they are doing it in a manner that is similar to the way people used to treat me as a child. I try to address it, and I am being made to feel like it's all my fault. I'm being made to feel like it's all in my head and that I am "reading too much into it." Exactly the same kinds of things other toxic people have said to me. That is why I feel triggered right now. It's not always my imagination. It's sometimes actually happening right now.
I keeo doing this when a good woman enters my life, end up cheating on thrm , getting drunk etc letting them down, standing thrm up..Im 51 now snd fomt kniw ehy i jerp folloeing this pattetn utlitimatly tyen end up havong enough and keaving me , thrn i feel deoressed and paniccing tryinv to get th back insudd etc..Ibresllg dont kniw ehy i csnt be happy
This just saved me from ruining something amazing in my life because i’m scared. Thank you so much
You really never have a voice with these people. But needing them to hear you and actually acknowledge anything will never happen. Accepting reality helps me.
This was a really great video for me to hear. Because my mind just wakes up miserable. And will think back on the pain like it's just flipping through a daily file. I have to shake myself out of it and ask myself why do you feel so down?. I don't want him back, and I want to take it slow making new friendships. So this is a great explanation for why I'm having trouble being my old optimistic self again. Thanks for the explanation I really got a lot out of it 🙂👍
I surely needed to start listening to this lady. I’m in the process of breaking off and through a 9 yr relationship with a malignant Narc I’m 62 I can do this 🙏🏻
Wow how amazingly true these things your saying really are. I thought I was the only one feeling these things, thank you thank you thank you. Unless you've gone through all these things you'd think I'm just acting over the top but in reality I'm being enlightened and freed all at the same time and how wonderful it is to feel this way.
Michele you are incredible and truly gifted at unveiling this darkness in the human condition.
You do a real service. God bless you for helping others. 💖🌹💖
She does.. She is a blessing.
The comments on children were so true for me at the moment. My 31 year old son is living with me at the moment. He was diagnosed at 24 with Aspergers Syndrome but he is also definitely on the narcissistic scale even by his own admission.
Observe but don't absorb is something I have to learn to do.
Aspergers and Narcissism may seem vaguely similar to an untrained eye (speaking respectfully but honestly) but they are actually the antithesis of each other.
People with aspergers have incredible empathy for animals and nature, Temple Grandin and Greta Thunberg for example, amongst many, many others.
People on the dark triad spectrum do not usually have empathy at all, for humans or animals and one of the main traits of sociopaths/psychopaths and so on is lack of compassion and cruelty towards animals.
Genuine aspies do not have this problem. Especially not female aspies, whose special interests are almost always animals and nature.
I recommend a second opinion.
You sound like a standup gentleman that only wants the best. Everyone is great at something. Build off of that. You can be a great failure too. But as long as you try. It's all worth it. Get him to hand bottled water out to people and work on social skills. He may even gain confidence to smile and talk to people without out prejudice. There is so much potential.
Truth....ignored, acting aloof because he knew it was a trigger to me, no respons etc....😪
Omgosh... aloof! Same word I would use. I literally thought he was off or really had a serious cognitive brain issue.
@@gvintage Yep...and you take it for years...They are real sick people 😪
I feel like my life is wasting away. I had so many dreams about having my own career, travelling...now I feel like I can barely get through my day, all in the name of being a good woman.
Anytime I put on a nice outfit , I had on too many colors, I received a compliment after 2 years . “ I look good”
I was taught that showing unhappiness is not safe. And as I result I only show happiness on the outside but am dying on the inside. Just like how the joker laughs in the movie "joker" when he feels strong negative emotion. He draws a smiley face on his face with paint
Michele, you are an answer to prayer. You not only educate, you provide useful cognitive and behavioral techniques which improve lives. You are doing a great work in this troublesome world. Thank you.
It will be hard to have real trust anymore with a special person in my life! I kind of always feel nervous now!!
Yes, it is very hard after being "trained" to behave in a deadpan and pessimistic way.
This was an amazing video! So many times I felt like I was going crazy when a guy would suggest going places and not getting back to me, then telling me not to take things personally when his friend bullied me for my values. Being around narcissists has affected me and I have a hard time trusting men and know I need to take it slow with relationships. Unfortunately, I find it difficult to meet guys who also want to take things slow. It seems like a lot of men I encounter just want to rush everything and that now causes me to be cautious and wonder if they are manipulative.
Thank you for a perfect description of how to manage triggers from CPTSD .
Right now, I feel like what you say here is just everything for me. Now I see that these triggers differentiate the person with CPTSD from the narcissist, in a way, because the narc engages in a relentless campaign to devalue, but the Person with CPTSD is mostly just acting on their triggers. So helpful! And the encouragement toward calmness is what I need, because growing up with narcs made that counterintuitive for me. They taught me that you must go into a fight response, but that is so wrong.
Not only came to hate your own happiness but the happiness of others as well because they only got happy after they made you miserable. Double bad association with happiness.
I also get really triggered by others being happy Ina very unhealthy way... But it's something between "stop it - I'll get into trouble for being in your presence and accused of being not-miserable" and "what makes you so special/deserving that you can be happy without being punished for it".
It's really irritating - I hate myself for being triggered by something so natural. Been working on that part, but I just keep going between angry, upset, sad and grieving. Getting better, though the baby steps don't feel like enough :(
In a way I'm so relieved I'm not the only one struggling with this.
Exactly!
Broken records and one sided conversations will eventually spin you counterclockwise So here I am trying to fix my watch to the time of reason with a very pleasant sounding alarm and a beautiful face Thank you Michele for your peaceful voice and soul condition So good to be here to look and listen If you were really a watch or even a locket I would keep you in my best vest pocket God bless
yep, the malignant narcissists love to wipe the smile off of your face. Blessings to you for this work.
You are so pretty,and kind too.
awsome content michele
Im so happy i found this channel. 🙏 Thank you thank you
They are aiming for the destruction of every aspect of my life.
This is great info!!
you are so insightful 🌹
Thank you Michele!
Very helpful about drama cycle.
Sometimes, people say things that are exactly like the type of things that toxic people in my life have said to me. Sometimes, it's not even what they say but the tone of voice they are saying it in. I tried to explain that to someone, but they don't get it. I guess what I am saying is I recognize toxicity in people, and I don't always think it's in the past. Sometimes people are really being too critical and too belittling right now in the present, and they are doing it in a manner that is similar to the way people used to treat me as a child. I try to address it, and I am being made to feel like it's all my fault. I'm being made to feel like it's all in my head and that I am "reading too much into it." Exactly the same kinds of things other toxic people have said to me. That is why I feel triggered right now. It's not always my imagination. It's sometimes actually happening right now.
This video is so timely! ❤️💕
Yes..
Thank you, ~Peace
Thank you 🙏🏽
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
🙏💕🙏
I keeo doing this when a good woman enters my life, end up cheating on thrm , getting drunk etc letting them down, standing thrm up..Im 51 now snd fomt kniw ehy i jerp folloeing this pattetn utlitimatly tyen end up havong enough and keaving me , thrn i feel deoressed and paniccing tryinv to get th back insudd etc..Ibresllg dont kniw ehy i csnt be happy