"If I can just get them to see and acknowledge what I'm saying, I'll finally feel at peace." It's so tough to change that belief in the heat of the moment.
You are so smart. Unfortunately I know, as does anyone who has had to live through this, that this kind of knowledge only comes from experience. Hang in there all my fellow survivors.
You really hit the nail on the head. I know this is AND what I and many other survivors are feeling. It always makes so much sense. But you put it in context in which I could not at this point. I look forward to your upcoming group events? I so need this. It wasn’t a fluke that I was sent to your Video Message. Thank You so much🙏💯‼️
@@FromSurvivingToThriving I’m most definitely looking forward to your workshop and hearing your abundance and experience in this field which would be a great asset. Thank you for all the work and knowledge that you’re able to share. I must have overlooked the Schedule as to when it will broadcast on this UA-cam channel. And I must say It’s a gift that you’re able to share.
Michelle you are a beautiful woman you can have any guy you want it's hard to believe you could of been victim to any narcissist man Just goes to show you this can happen to anyone
I felt my heart rate go up. When you said don’t be surprised, that helps. They are predictably bad so I’ll shore up my boundaries or attend the class 💜💜💜thank you Michele!!
Right, good thing they are predictable, at least. Except for the times when they act out of character to seem good all of a sudden. To be honest, that freaks me out way more than their usual behaviour. Raises too many questions.
If you see someone acting like an imp, you should try your hardest to take a step back, pause your emotions (like you said) and avoid interacting with an agent of raw depravity. I like what u said about them being what they are and doing what they do, and keeping this in mind. I think this is really helpful. Or if you look at them as sick people. I view them as demons.
Bingo. IF narc surprises you with comment; THEN you forgot that narc's need narcissistic supply = upsetting your emotions so that they can then soothe their unhappiness.
@9:30 Just priceless. Love these genuine and unscripted "interruptions". I always appreciate being reminded that emotionally safe homes do exist and aren't just a lie we tell ourselves while hysterically playing pretend. I still haven't fully emotionally accepted that it's not supposed to be like spending Christmas alone and feeling pressured to bake cookies for Santa and leave yourself a giftwrapped present you bought yourself in November, just so you don't feel like you deserve to be broken. Sorry it took such a nasty turn - just 👍
What happened the last time I was triggered is that they raged at me, degraded me, insulted me, and held their hand up to my face trying to scare me. This is the 75 yr old father who has gotten more abusive with the years. My entire body was in a state of shock, fog and numbness followed after yelling back at them. I have no idea how I could have not felt completely hurt and ill to my soul in that moment.edit : they said i was a worthless POS, that everything is my fault, that I never help, when in reality I have sacrificed my last 6 years taking care of an ill family member.
My mother treated me the same. No matter what I did it was never enough. My health was affected I was on the verge of a breakdown This video really hit home especially when Michelle explained how the narcissist will seem to understand how you feel and then suddenly turn and become their true vicious selves again I wasted most of my life hoping she would change. Instead she became more cruel. She painted me out to be the rotten thoughtless daughter to anyone who would listen I finally went no contact Still taking one day at a time Slow process. Almost 3 years now
I feel for you & I'm so sorry about the awful experience. I went through something very similar, being ganged up on by my 75 year old father & 70 year old mother. N-parents really got worse as they age. To outsiders they're this nice, friendly, generous old couple, but when they're alone with me behind closed doors, that's a totally different story. Wish I could go NC, but in my culture, NC with one's parents is a taboo. I'll keep working towards NC although it's very difficult for financial & cultural reasons
Thank you, Michele. I wonder if you could do a video on how to stop ourselves from dissociating while trying to respond to the narc in a logical way? I wonder if anyone else has gone through this? Dissociating & responding at the same time? This strange experience happened recently to me when I tried to respond to my N-parents' accusations which are based on their bias against me (SG & lost child). Yes, they know how to push your buttons & poke at your core wound. So evil for parents to do so to their own kid. I think I was dissociating while trying to talk to my parents in a calm, logical manner because tears just kept falling & I felt I had no control over the tears & my body. It's like my body was separate from my logical brain. As in the past, my parents ignored my crying & how upset I was. They looked very bored by my crying. They're truly cold-blooded monsters.
I don't have an answer other than to tell you to do full NC. Why put yourself in the presence of a vampire knowing they will such you dry which will hurt so bad that you'll end up crying?
You are so on point, Michele. I’m not sure if it’s because you’re coincidentally identifying every single issue I am dealing with, and it seems that you’re speaking directly to me, or you’re actually an excellent communicator and an extremely skilled personality coach.
Besides the great message, I was enjoying the vivid color combinations in your video. Coral, blue, and pink together is unusual but striking. The coral in the shirt was echoed by the coral flower on the statuette on the shelf and your lipstick and earrings. The pink necklace was echoed by the pink book, and the blue fingernails matched your jeans, the blue light on your microphone, the blue in the painting and the blue book. (I notice these things, being a designer.) Very nice!
Thank you for your video and your channel. ❤ It's a bitter pill to swallow and accept that they never change. I have recently realized that they are some kind of Loki, a hitting stone for us to grow and they play Loki, vicious villains. It's sad for me because I would like to experience/see heaven for everyone and everywhere. But according to Hawkins, they condemned themselves and we are also doing to some extent. Most people do it to some extent.🥺 We need to learn about love. Love is the most important aspect of this life. ❤ ❤❤❤It is what it is. Our souls want to learn, grow and experience different things.🥰
Back Again. I just signed up for your 7/31 Workshop. I have been in 12 Step recovery probably longer than you have been alive but only just learned that my parents were both Narcissists and can now explain my very dangerous behavior in my early twenties....You limit yourself to CPTSD but please do address the Borderline ...because I think many like myself may have both....Dawn Keeler
I just learned about this reactive abuse .. I always got sucked into it .. but now that I know what their tactic is .. the narc looks disappointed that I'm not reacting . Thanks Michelle , you saved me from misery 😀
This helped me to understand why my British and Aussie friends tell me that my English has a Spanish accent. And also how does it sound like. Funny! And I am proud of it.
My narcissistic mother still manages to trigger me anything about food and eating. Especially when I have to take her products in fridge sometimes. I literally is pressed to every little thing eaten or even she pleasures herself to prevent me from any eating by telling she bought smth so I have no right to touch it
they can't have someone else's perspective because they can't be wrong and your perspective is not their perspective so it Must be wrong so they must devalue you so as to not have to listen or bother with you.
Having gone through narcissistic abuse from dealing with attempted coercion from a subscriber and being bullied at open mic nights in bars, I find that the best thing for me to do at this time is to avoid bars and toxic people and focus on being around positive healthy people. I'm even taking small steps when getting back into the open mics that have been put on hold for nearly two years because of the pandemic. Part of me realizes that I'm not ready to go back to all the open mic nights right away because I don't want to be around drunk people. So, I plan to go to the non bar open mics first this fall and slowly get back into things, when I have stronger boundaries.
She was denying me food the time I was severly ill with a hard kidneys disease and even after a hard hormonal treatment when I appeared literally on the edge of survival
Hi Michelle. I love your videos. Could you please discuss cpstd vs bpd I was raised by two narcissists and at 19 I attempted to take my life. Thank God for twelve step programs. But the damage seems indelible. Dawn
I wish I could watch this without ads opening a new video and not have to go back to find my place in this video. I seem to caught this on a day of major glitches
That’s awesome Michelle. Though I had 1 imp question. My husband is a co dependent to his covert narcissistic mom and narcissistic dad. My wound lies when he gets hooked. I drag him back still npd never give up. Should I be letting them cross our family boundary(since my husband doesn’t stop them). How do you respond everytime my husband is hooked back or boundary lines are crossed?
I have a question. What if you are attempting to discern whether or not you are a narcissist or a person that is dealing with one and has a good amount of “flying monkeys” helping (possibly unknowingly) to keep the confusion going? In your opinion, is that question unhealed trauma or denial of yourself? If it is denial of oneself then would it not be best to stick it out and get help to recover and be a better person, rather than a narcissist? Which begs another question: (yes, I’m jumping down the rabbit hole for a moment haha) can narcissists recover? As humans we all have characteristics that are aligned with narcissistic behavior however not to the grandiosity of a diagnosis of narcissism (so isn’t it wise to make sure?) I would like your perspective based on your experience.
Yes the frustration level takes over! Hate basically which is not good! I have had the certain family members even think this but when I ask that family member they tell me they don't think that at all, so now if I here this I just know it is bull shit, excuse my French! 😂😂
"If I can just get them to see and acknowledge what I'm saying, I'll finally feel at peace." It's so tough to change that belief in the heat of the moment.
You are so smart. Unfortunately I know, as does anyone who has had to live through this, that this kind of knowledge only comes from experience. Hang in there all my fellow survivors.
Perfect timing Michelle
You keep things simple while also going deep
You really hit the nail on the head. I know this is AND what I and many other survivors are feeling. It always makes so much sense. But you put it in context in which I could not at this point. I look forward to your upcoming group events? I so need this. It wasn’t a fluke that I was sent to your Video Message. Thank You so much🙏💯‼️
I really needed to hear this! You're videos have been a god send. Thank you so much Michelle X
21nnkkkkkkouin 7
Looking forward to having you in my upcoming live workshop =D
@@FromSurvivingToThriving I’m most definitely looking forward to your workshop and hearing your abundance and experience in this field which would be a great asset. Thank you for all the work and knowledge that you’re able to share. I must have overlooked the Schedule as to when it will broadcast on this UA-cam channel. And I must say It’s a gift that you’re able to share.
Michelle
you are a beautiful woman you can have any guy you want it's hard to believe you could of been victim to any narcissist man
Just goes to show you this can happen to anyone
I felt my heart rate go up. When you said don’t be surprised, that helps. They are predictably bad so I’ll shore up my boundaries or attend the class 💜💜💜thank you Michele!!
Right, good thing they are predictable, at least. Except for the times when they act out of character to seem good all of a sudden. To be honest, that freaks me out way more than their usual behaviour. Raises too many questions.
This is helping me take responsibility care for myself 😊💜
If you see someone acting like an imp, you should try your hardest to take a step back, pause your emotions (like you said) and avoid interacting with an agent of raw depravity.
I like what u said about them being what they are and doing what they do, and keeping this in mind. I think this is really helpful. Or if you look at them as sick people.
I view them as demons.
Very helpful.
No J. A. D. E.
No justifying
No arguing
No defending
No explaining
Bingo. IF narc surprises you with comment; THEN you forgot that narc's need narcissistic supply = upsetting your emotions so that they can then soothe their unhappiness.
@9:30
Just priceless. Love these genuine and unscripted "interruptions".
I always appreciate being reminded that emotionally safe homes do exist and aren't just a lie we tell ourselves while hysterically playing pretend. I still haven't fully emotionally accepted that it's not supposed to be like spending Christmas alone and feeling pressured to bake cookies for Santa and leave yourself a giftwrapped present you bought yourself in November, just so you don't feel like you deserve to be broken.
Sorry it took such a nasty turn - just 👍
I probably still hopes to really have "a caring mother" like to be able communicate properly to her
"Thank you for your perspective!"
That's good. Thank you.
Most of the times there are the ones who created that core wound in you (in a narcissistic family setup)
That's sad but true. I know by experience.
What happened the last time I was triggered is that they raged at me, degraded me, insulted me, and held their hand up to my face trying to scare me. This is the 75 yr old father who has gotten more abusive with the years. My entire body was in a state of shock, fog and numbness followed after yelling back at them. I have no idea how I could have not felt completely hurt and ill to my soul in that moment.edit : they said i was a worthless POS, that everything is my fault, that I never help, when in reality I have sacrificed my last 6 years taking care of an ill family member.
My mother treated me the same. No matter what I did it was never enough.
My health was affected
I was on the verge of a breakdown
This video really hit home especially when Michelle explained how the narcissist will seem to understand how you feel and then suddenly turn and become their true vicious selves again
I wasted most of my life hoping she would change. Instead she became more cruel. She painted me out to be the rotten thoughtless daughter to anyone who
would listen
I finally went no contact
Still taking one day at a time
Slow process. Almost 3 years now
I feel for you & I'm so sorry about the awful experience. I went through something very similar, being ganged up on by my 75 year old father & 70 year old mother. N-parents really got worse as they age. To outsiders they're this nice, friendly, generous old couple, but when they're alone with me behind closed doors, that's a totally different story. Wish I could go NC, but in my culture, NC with one's parents is a taboo. I'll keep working towards NC although it's very difficult for financial & cultural reasons
You are good at what you do Michelle.
Thank you, Michele. I wonder if you could do a video on how to stop ourselves from dissociating while trying to respond to the narc in a logical way? I wonder if anyone else has gone through this? Dissociating & responding at the same time? This strange experience happened recently to me when I tried to respond to my N-parents' accusations which are based on their bias against me (SG & lost child). Yes, they know how to push your buttons & poke at your core wound. So evil for parents to do so to their own kid. I think I was dissociating while trying to talk to my parents in a calm, logical manner because tears just kept falling & I felt I had no control over the tears & my body. It's like my body was separate from my logical brain. As in the past, my parents ignored my crying & how upset I was. They looked very bored by my crying. They're truly cold-blooded monsters.
I don't have an answer other than to tell you to do full NC. Why put yourself in the presence of a vampire knowing they will such you dry which will hurt so bad that you'll end up crying?
@@NB-2020 Thank you
You are so on point, Michele. I’m not sure if it’s because you’re coincidentally identifying every single issue I am dealing with, and it seems that you’re speaking directly to me, or you’re actually an excellent communicator and an extremely skilled personality coach.
Perfect timing! Thx u!
I feel like you personally know my story. So glad to be 1800 miles away from my toxic relationship 💖
That was exactly what came in to my mind as well. Take care
Besides the great message, I was enjoying the vivid color combinations in your video. Coral, blue, and pink together is unusual but striking. The coral in the shirt was echoed by the coral flower on the statuette on the shelf and your lipstick and earrings. The pink necklace was echoed by the pink book, and the blue fingernails matched your jeans, the blue light on your microphone, the blue in the painting and the blue book. (I notice these things, being a designer.) Very nice!
So smart and so much caring coming from you. Plus, are you aging backwards? Getting away from the narcissistic must be the Fountain of Youth!
Thank you!!!🙏
Thank you for your video and your channel. ❤ It's a bitter pill to swallow and accept that they never change. I have recently realized that they are some kind of Loki, a hitting stone for us to grow and they play Loki, vicious villains. It's sad for me because I would like to experience/see heaven for everyone and everywhere. But according to Hawkins, they condemned themselves and we are also doing to some extent. Most people do it to some extent.🥺 We need to learn about love. Love is the most important aspect of this life. ❤ ❤❤❤It is what it is. Our souls want to learn, grow and experience different things.🥰
Back Again. I just signed up for your 7/31 Workshop. I have been in 12 Step recovery probably longer than you have been alive but only just learned that my parents were both Narcissists and can now explain my very dangerous behavior in my early twenties....You limit yourself to CPTSD but please do address the Borderline ...because I think many like myself may have both....Dawn Keeler
Looking forward to seeing you on the 31st =D And very true - many that have cptsd are diagnosed w borderline personality disorder!!
I just learned about this reactive abuse .. I always got sucked into it .. but now that I know what their tactic is .. the narc looks disappointed that I'm not reacting . Thanks Michelle , you saved me from misery 😀
Oww you are so right about that tiny slippery slope that s called unhealthy denial. Thnx!
Thank you Michele. Your videos help me so much♥️🌻🦋
This helped me to understand why my British and Aussie friends tell me that my English has a Spanish accent. And also how does it sound like. Funny! And I am proud of it.
Of late. I don't .Thanks.
Brilliant! Thank you 💖
This was so helpful, thank you
My narcissistic mother still manages to trigger me anything about food and eating. Especially when I have to take her products in fridge sometimes. I literally is pressed to every little thing eaten or even she pleasures herself to prevent me from any eating by telling she bought smth so I have no right to touch it
Thanks Michelle i needed this.. I didn't realize i slipped into reacting.. This is training 24/7
Black girl @9:30 made me laugh!
Wow. Love this lesson.
Michelle Thank you for your help and support. I love this content. It helps me a lot. Especially healing core wounds. God bless you!
Eres muy simpática Michelle.
Viva Puerto Rico ❤
You nailed it and its relevant to my current situation
Same.
Wow what a great video! This really helped me understand the pathology behind my reactions and the hurdles in my way of responding.
they can't have someone else's perspective because they can't be wrong and your perspective is not their perspective so it Must be wrong so they must devalue you so as to not have to listen or bother with you.
Having gone through narcissistic abuse from dealing with attempted coercion from a subscriber and being bullied at open mic nights in bars, I find that the best thing for me to do at this time is to avoid bars and toxic people and focus on being around positive healthy people. I'm even taking small steps when getting back into the open mics that have been put on hold for nearly two years because of the pandemic. Part of me realizes that I'm not ready to go back to all the open mic nights right away because I don't want to be around drunk people. So, I plan to go to the non bar open mics first this fall and slowly get back into things, when I have stronger boundaries.
Just say ok know yourself
Thank you
Yes Beautiful Michele Thank You
Slightly out of focus for 1080p resolution - and even when viewed at 480p. Good content and insights. Thank you.
She was denying me food the time I was severly ill with a hard kidneys disease and even after a hard hormonal treatment when I appeared literally on the edge of survival
Brilliant!
And I noticed smth about nervous system about that to stuck in that defensive state
Thank you..very helpful❤️
And I still don't manage to overcome that triggering. She was denying me food
Today I was taken by surprise with a physical violence against me from my mother son induced exactly by her
But the question is HOW to heal that denial of your basic survival needs
that analogy of two heads😊
Thanks for this video
Michelle, do you do face to face coaching in Spanish? Por are there Spanish grupos within the school house of Transformación?
Thank you 🙏
J to accept that my loved one is a narcissist
She was my one n only loved one cuz she giltu me to make it that way
But yea
Hi Michelle. I love your videos. Could you please discuss cpstd vs bpd
I was raised by two narcissists and at 19 I attempted to take my life. Thank God for twelve step programs. But the damage seems indelible. Dawn
I wish I could watch this without ads opening a new video and not have to go back to find my place in this video. I seem to caught this on a day of major glitches
I can't believe that I crief sm gor hat one night of whatsapp chats and sunny sone day fo chats becs of everything
That’s awesome Michelle. Though I had 1 imp question. My husband is a co dependent to his covert narcissistic mom and narcissistic dad. My wound lies when he gets hooked. I drag him back still npd never give up. Should I be letting them cross our family boundary(since my husband doesn’t stop them). How do you respond everytime my husband is hooked back or boundary lines are crossed?
This is extremely hard to do 🙄 I reacted big time this weekend, I almost killed the poor guy. Lol. Jk 🙃
Yes it's sick the enjoy seeing u hurt
Just my comments getting deleted?
I have a question. What if you are attempting to discern whether or not you are a narcissist or a person that is dealing with one and has a good amount of “flying monkeys” helping (possibly unknowingly) to keep the confusion going? In your opinion, is that question unhealed trauma or denial of yourself? If it is denial of oneself then would it not be best to stick it out and get help to recover and be a better person, rather than a narcissist? Which begs another question: (yes, I’m jumping down the rabbit hole for a moment haha) can narcissists recover? As humans we all have characteristics that are aligned with narcissistic behavior however not to the grandiosity of a diagnosis of narcissism (so isn’t it wise to make sure?) I would like your perspective based on your experience.
Yes the frustration level takes over! Hate basically which is not good! I have had the certain family members even think this but when I ask that family member they tell me they don't think that at all, so now if I here this I just know it is bull shit, excuse my French! 😂😂
Why was there a random girl twirling around in the video? I really need to know LOL
💗💗
👍⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🌹
Coward sucker punchers