Subscribe to The Onion on UA-cam: bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: www. theonion Follow The Onion on Twitter: / theonion More Breaking News: www.theonion.com/video/
It's scary to think that something as simple as grabbing a person's buttocks and guiding a hand to your crotch can lead to you having the same job position at a totally different company with the same or higher salary.
I'll tell you what's scary. That a predatory woman can be rejected in her advances on a man, and then turn around and as retribution accuse him of harassing her and get him fired. And then his next potential employer, what are they going to do when he's applying for a job? Look his name up on social media. And what will they find? The metoo accusations. And they're not going to hire him. I'll tell you what's also scary. That you and all these other NPCs in the comments are just going along nodding your heads with the nasty message of this toxic video, the message that men are never the victim and that men never deserve sympathy. In reality men have ended their continued existence on planet Earth over false accusations from predatory women looking to advance their careers.
@@manuelmateo3392, stay strong, brother. Hope for brighter days ahead. The feminist cabal is failing like we all knew it would. It won't be long before they're begging to make us sammiches and pull our plows again like the good Lord intended.
As a woman, I'm proud to say I support these men, and that's definitely not because I'm scared of losing my job for defending my dignity and human rights. 💕
What's morally wrong? Women are attracted to men in power and men are attracted to women that are underneath them. That's how we are programmed and you say our instincts are morally wrong? They are what they are and as long as nobody comes up with an idea on how to reprogram the human nature, you shouldn't judge others for their natural instincts that got built up since the beginning of humankind.
I'm a woman, and it is up to us women to protect the men who're being held accountable for being sexual predators. It's not their fault for making the decisions they made, for abusing people, influenced by privilege and power. I'm ashamed that these strong men had to feel sad for a few hours because the system didn't hide their crimes this one time.
I'm so glad people like this exist. The #MeToo movement has been so destructive. People always focus on the victims. Do they ever stop and worry about how the perpetrators feel?
@@nick7072 You're going to spend many years wondering why women won't talk to you. There's no secret to it. There's no conspiracy. There's no trick that'll solve it. The problem is you.
Two Natal Yods The accusers do have to prove themselves. That’s what the courtroom is for. And I didn’t attack men. I insulted Nick, because he seems to think it’s fair to lump all the people speaking out against sexual assault as false accusers. Some do. That’s horrible. Most don’t. And I’d rather have people feel willing to speak out against harassment and deal with the bad apples as they come than use blanket statements like he did and label them all as liars. People will always lie, and the legal system recognizes that. But people should NEVER be afraid to speak out against the perpetrators.
I was destroyed by the #MeToo movement. I lost my job for *an hour* and couldn't get my coffee at Starbucks because I had to fill out more paperwork. Can you believe it?? I had to suffer mild inconvenience because of this hysteria. This is what our country is coming to.
“It is sad that it is becoming a fashion to malign anyone known, bringing some stories from past without any truth or blown up false allegations if all. I deny strictly and firmly all false allegations like these.”............FAKE ACCUSATIONS ARE ON THE RISE DUE TO THIS FEMINIST PROPAGANDA.
these poor people. All they did was ..... well thats not important. How dare society accuse them for what they did. And to think that they took it seriously.
“It is sad that it is becoming a fashion to malign anyone known, bringing some stories from past without any truth or blown up false allegations if all. I deny strictly and firmly all false allegations like these.”............FAKE ACCUSATIONS ARE ON THE RISE DUE TO THIS FEMINIST PROPAGANDA.
@@RedRabbitEntertainment Thats the issue... nowadays men in positions of power are held accountable every one in amillion times they abuse their power. This isn't a world i want to live in.
Allegations that are taken seriously are investigated because taking an allegation seriously means you acknowledge that an accusation is not evidence but that an accusation is the starting point for justice for all actual injustices too, thus being fair to both parties. Investigations take time. Firing someone instantly for an accusation that has not yet (and after the firing probably never will be) investigated is not taking an allegation 'seriously', it is taking an allegation as evidence, with no rights for the accused. Not even the fucking Inquisition did that shit.
Pegasi Agreed. Sadly, in many cases, even the courts do not require evidence to convict, because the judge “believes all women.” That’s how it’s being done in Canada these days.
It's not easy being a privileged black guy, either. When I did what these guys did, I told the former President about it and he said "If I had a son, he would be just like you."
This is really sad for an aspiring man like me who works hard to get into a position of power which I then want to exploit to get my way with women below my position. Why can something like that even happen?
The Onion desperately needs to do a follow up video for this on the poor suffering police officers who have been put on paid administrative leave -- or worse yet, forced to transfer to entirely different police departments -- just because they happened to murder an innocent Black person or two. It's just so unfair that they, like these men, are mildly inconvenienced due to their own actions, and they deserve a chance to speak out about it.
Or one on all the poor afflicted people who cry racism or sexism even when they are just pulled over for a mundane traffic stop for speeding. It’s a tough life, they have it worse than slaves did. It’s tough race-baiting and male-hating when given so little material to work with. These cops who only do their jobs are making the grievance industry have to work overtime. So disrespectful. Thank goodness for the few bad apple cops - they respect that the race peddlers, male haters, and anarchists need something to go on. Without these bad cops the hucksters would be so stressed and depressed that they would probably start committing mass suicide. So hears to you - the few bad cops out of a million! - you are keeping the dream of all hucksters alive!! You are truly doing the Lord’s work!!
@@RocketTurret hey my friend, the Onion is no place for the humorless - are you sure you are in the right place? Shouldn’t you be out burning a city down or something? But really now, you didn’t see the first reply here as predictable boring tripe???? Or… maybe I’m wrong, maybe I’m missing the larger truth at play in society that he satirized. Perhaps the police ARE the source of all that is bad in the AA community and ARE responsible for the fact that there are more AAs murdered each year than whites - even though there are more than 4 times as many whites in the country. I guess problems within these communities themselves have NOTHING to do with it. So because white police are the biggest problem, it’s appropriate that we ONLY create national stories for instances where we think that an AA might have been unfairly treated by a WHITE police officer. And it’s good that we largely ignore all the specifics of particular instances - those pesky facts don’t matter. It may be true or not, the important thing is to rush to judgement because well, white police are ALL just racists anyway! So they inherently deserve to be punished for their white privilege! Woohoo! Get the word out and burn down some cities to get attention to the noble cause! Makes perfect sense! And don’t report black-on-black murders or black-on-white murders, and God forbid NEVER EVER report when a black man kills a white cop! Those are just distractions - and rather boring ones at that, because they take attention off the biggest problem in the country… no, make that the world… no, make that THE UNIVERSE!! - murderous white cops roaming the beautiful idyllic inner cities of our country slaughtering saintly young AA men who are only out in the streets because they are performing acts of kindness and charity for the aged, poor, and disadvantaged. Truly, if only we could get rid of EVERY cop in our cities, they would return to the perfect little pieces of joyful radiant paradise that is their natural state, a beacon for all the world to see and admire. Thank you so much for leading me to reflect on these issues and to see the error of my ways! Long live the progressives! Down with white cops! (Now where did I put my lighter fluid… I must say, I LOVE being an even-keeled progressive! Who knew it could be so much fun!)
@KoivuTheHab I know what you're trying to say, but no this was an error that happened in the process of me typing the words out. Not in the process of me forming a sentence in my mind. It's tricky because the end result looks the same as a grammatical error, but what it looks like doesn't tell you what went wrong
@@firemonkey1015 "when they make fun of the people i don't like they being based and redpilled, when they make fun of me they're being biased and unfair"
They don't care, they basically ask for it and then cry when they get what they're asking for. Call it what it is: entrapment. Disgusting behavior on their part.
卐ϟZypheϟ卐. When do you allege the Onion didn’t have a political agenda? And if you don’t like it when people express political agendas, why do you have Nazi symbols in your username?
“It is sad that it is becoming a fashion to malign anyone known, bringing some stories from past without any truth or blown up false allegations if all. I deny strictly and firmly all false allegations like these.”............FAKE ACCUSATIONS ARE ON THE RISE DUE TO THIS FEMINIST PROPAGANDA.
“It is sad that it is becoming a fashion to malign anyone known, bringing some stories from past without any truth or blown up false allegations if all. I deny strictly and firmly all false allegations like these.”............FAKE ACCUSATIONS ARE ON THE RISE DUE TO THIS FEMINIST PROPAGANDA.
“It is sad that it is becoming a fashion to malign anyone known, bringing some stories from past without any truth or blown up false allegations if all. I deny strictly and firmly all false allegations like these.”............FAKE ACCUSATIONS ARE ON THE RISE DUE TO THIS FEMINIST PROPAGANDA.
@@Dolandtromm Very, very few. First of all, according to Rape Crisis, fewer than six percent of reported rapes end in a conviction (this number will of course include both false and true rape allegations). Furthermore, research for the Home Office found that 4% of "sexual violence" cases reported to the police are suspected to be false. Other studies carried out in Europe and the US indicated rates of between 2% and 6%. The idea that women are likely to lie about being raped is no more than a misogynistic lie peddled by those with anger and resentment towards the women in our society. You seem to be convinced that accusations of rape can so easily result in imprisonment, however in 2016 a man accused of sexual assault by more than 40 women became thd democratically elected President of the United States. *People do not take rape seriously enough.*
Meanwhile the women who reported them were quietly let go after the dust settled and are working as waitresses because the corporate world plays by prison rules and in prison snitches get stitches.
I mean, while I don't agree with letting them go, from a business prospective, they'd be likely to "snitch" on other issues aswell, so it's much easier to let them go and not have them become associated with your brand
@@edward4840 oh for sure, og just made it sound like the companys were being spiteful, which isn't the case (at least probably, I can imagine some co's are just that twisted lol)
I can’t believe how selfish those women are who come forward about their harassers. Don’t they know how hard it is to be a man in the work industry? All they wanted to do was feel up some women, non consenting women, but women nonetheless, and to get fired over exerting their power like that! Appalling! Shame to those victims bc these men are the real victims in this situation 😞😭
@@NovaRanger007 lmfao blind ass calls him an asshole despite saying someone they ate the onion for validation despite you not understanding sarcasm without /s
“It is sad that it is becoming a fashion to malign anyone known, bringing some stories from past without any truth or blown up false allegations if all. I deny strictly and firmly all false allegations like these.”............FAKE ACCUSATIONS ARE ON THE RISE DUE TO THIS FEMINIST PROPAGANDA.
Soup is good. Here is a recipe for Cheesy Potato Soup: TOTAL TIME: Prep: 10 min. Cook: 35 min. YIELD: 10 servings (2-1/2 quarts). Ingredients * 1 medium onion, chopped * 2 tablespoons butter * 6 medium potatoes, peeled and cubed * 5 cups water * 2 cups milk * 1 can (10-3/4 ounces) condensed cream of chicken soup, undiluted * 1/2 teaspoon garlic salt * 1/8 teaspoon pepper * 12 ounces process cheese (Velveeta), cubed * Minced fresh parsley Directions * In a Dutch oven or soup kettle, saute onion in butter. Add potatoes and water. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 15 minutes or until potatoes are tender. Stir in the milk, soup, garlic salt and pepper; heat through. Add cheese; stir until cheese is melted. Sprinkle with parsley.
@@michaelarnold417 Karen? Do you even know who/what Karen is? Or are you using it as a substitute for "ok boomer" and ignoring the meanings of the original terms?
@@nonyadamnbusiness9887 Progressive liberals are all communist terrorists and conservatives are all racist Nazis. Ah, the simplicity of American politics, that are totally based on identity rather than policy positions, is so comforting.
“It is sad that it is becoming a fashion to malign anyone known, bringing some stories from past without any truth or blown up false allegations if all. I deny strictly and firmly all false allegations like these.”............FAKE ACCUSATIONS ARE ON THE RISE DUE TO THIS FEMINIST PROPAGANDA.
I still remember this day. I was just taking a vacation day at my 3rd house in the Bahamas, and I got a call saying that I was fired. I was about ready to fire my personal pilot so I could just make ends meet.
purple: You are so right. America was once a place where railroads crisscrossed the nation. People used to shoot buffalo from the windows. But hey, I digress.
Allegations, *a claim or assertion that someone has done something illegal or wrong, typically one made without proof.* *typically one made without proof.* *made without proof.* *without proof.* Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
It’s always sad to see men like this being mildly inconvenienced due to their own actions What is the world coming to where men can’t abuse their power to solicit favors from women
So inspirational. It's so scary to think that men like me are persecuted these days only because they did the things they're accused of. Before you know it my company will have to pay net taxes instead of recieving net tax benefits. Why would I have to give up the things others have worked so hard for? But this gives me hope
The best (and worst) part about satire is that it imitates reality. The fact that these types of mindsets exist in the real world, (rape victims being told to think of their rapists future before reporting or suing) is sickening.
This video made me realize that I have been doing it all wrong professionally. Good bye to my former woke bro self and being loyal to my wife. Thanks The Onion. After getting accused of harassment I too am now making more money and in a higher position.
It is wonderful that, after such a terrifying and life altering situation, these poor men were able to get back on their feet. This is the type of news story that brings hope to the world.
As a woman, I’m proud to say I stand with these men ❤️ and that’s not because I fear my employer showing my boyfriend the videos of him raping me after our last company meeting- it’s because I care about the courageous, wealthy white men of America. 💕
No offense, but if I were an employer I would do that too. Asking about the strictness of the sexual harassment policy at an _interview_ is like holding a big neon sign above your head that says “I am going to attract lawsuits”. By asking how strict it is, you are directly implying that you are worried that you will sexually harass someone, which is not what a company wants to deal with. Also, I think that you missed that this video is supposed to be making fun of the men.
so hopeful and inspiring! Very glad to see our patriarchal traditions still staying strong 🥰, i hope to be one of those secretaries one day. God bless America! ❤️
Joking aside, I'd love to see how long it takes MeToo predators to get new jobs. For CEOs, it probably is this fast. But for lower level workers, I wonder if their behavior makes it harder to find a job than it already is for most of us
Everyone asks who is the perpetrator. But no one asks how is the perpetrator.
On behalf of all of us, I just want to say how are you and how is construction going at the new lake house?
Omg lolllll
😂😂😂
Sad, but im okay
Perpetrator? More like.... *penetrator*
I'll show myself out...
If I hadn’t harassed her, some cold uncaring stranger would have. Is that what we really want?!
Honestly, lmao
No. Better you than them
@@dragonballtorture That name lmfao
@@Blade.5786 you into dragon ball torture as well?
And he still would, even with the additional!
It's scary to think that something as simple as grabbing a person's buttocks and guiding a hand to your crotch can lead to you having the same job position at a totally different company with the same or higher salary.
It’s utter madness I tell you.
I'll tell you what's scary. That a predatory woman can be rejected in her advances on a man, and then turn around and as retribution accuse him of harassing her and get him fired. And then his next potential employer, what are they going to do when he's applying for a job? Look his name up on social media. And what will they find? The metoo accusations. And they're not going to hire him. I'll tell you what's also scary. That you and all these other NPCs in the comments are just going along nodding your heads with the nasty message of this toxic video, the message that men are never the victim and that men never deserve sympathy. In reality men have ended their continued existence on planet Earth over false accusations from predatory women looking to advance their careers.
@@jackmrsich3178 those damn sjws
It’s hilarious since it’s a joke, the video is a joke boys.
@@op.par_3035 how could you even suggest such a thing when millions of men get their jobs taken away from simple touches???
This is such a sad world we live in now. Men in powerful positions can no longer freely abuse their power for their own sexual benefit anymore.
If I'm a CEO but cant force oral sex from my secretary by threatening her position what's the point.
This country is going down the toilet. We need to go back in time when things were simpler.
The thing is that all of it is a distraction to really horrible crimes
@@user-cg7gw5jb6l Holding people accountable for sexual crimes is NOT a distraction to anything, its simply enforcing the law
@@user-cg7gw5jb6l you know, just because it’s called “law enforcement” doesn’t mean it can only enforce on law.
Why should you go to jail for a crime someone else noticed?
Good comment
Why should you go to jail because you were only accused of a crime?
@@sajanpatel4956 There must be a reason why someone is accused.
If it's a crime someone else noticed then "Who smelt it, dealt it." Plain and simple
Lmao no snitch rule thats why!
The me too movement never affected me because I knew noone would speak against me. That's the perk of working in a family business.
Hol up
Oh
* jazz music stops *
Hol up
Wait a second
"I never thought that I'd be accountable for something I did" 😅😅
700+ likes and no reply.....this cannot be left happening
My thought as a kid when I broke one of those weird glass aquarium decorations.
meg sinzoa you ruined the joke
clownery you ruined the joke
What is he, a politician?
When I was a kid I took it for granted that the patriarchy would always be there for me. This isn't the kind of world I wanted to raise a son in.
@Gerardo Garcia it means you have no sense of humour...
@Gerardo Garcia that's what we've been saying, my slow little friend. Don't worry though, you get a trophy too.
Turd Ferguson you sound like an asshole
Agreed. The fact that women have RIGHTS, let alone their own voices and opinions, makes me afraid of the future for men like us.
@@manuelmateo3392, stay strong, brother. Hope for brighter days ahead. The feminist cabal is failing like we all knew it would. It won't be long before they're begging to make us sammiches and pull our plows again like the good Lord intended.
These men are so brave for coming foward, i hope this will encourage more men to stand up.
@Nivedita Tewary he's joking
Now...by "stand up" you mean?
Woosh
@@coolerbot6603 r/doubleWhoosh
I hope this video will encourage more men to lie down 😂 giggity giggity
As a woman, I'm proud to say I support these men, and that's definitely not because I'm scared of losing my job for defending my dignity and human rights. 💕
@@Bestoutsideback so was this comment
@@Bestoutsideback No it obviously wasn't, #ITOO
Infiltration Alert in sector Chen!
As a man I'm proud to say I support exclusively the women who support these men
We need more women like you 🤝
I thought The Onion showed satire, not documentaries.
You're joking right
This is a JOKE
Xman34 😂
three replies above me are dumb
Natan Furman 🤬
Wtf, why should you get fired for something that's morally wrong?!
i actually can’t tell if this is a joke
rape is a moral issue and nothing else. the only thing stopping rape is the kindness of people's hearts.
(/s)
These guy should look up Bob Loblaw, esquire. He’ll be able to help.
Its so sad that social justice types are making hardly working rapists having to browse for another position of similar pay.
What's morally wrong? Women are attracted to men in power and men are attracted to women that are underneath them. That's how we are programmed and you say our instincts are morally wrong? They are what they are and as long as nobody comes up with an idea on how to reprogram the human nature, you shouldn't judge others for their natural instincts that got built up since the beginning of humankind.
I'm a woman, and it is up to us women to protect the men who're being held accountable for being sexual predators. It's not their fault for making the decisions they made, for abusing people, influenced by privilege and power. I'm ashamed that these strong men had to feel sad for a few hours because the system didn't hide their crimes this one time.
Yes yes
🙏
erik2390 erik2390 When did anyone say that?
@@Bamgbamgbamg who's this directed at lmao
p r e a c h
I'm so glad people like this exist. The #MeToo movement has been so destructive. People always focus on the victims. Do they ever stop and worry about how the perpetrators feel?
> worry about how the falsely accused feel
Fixed that for you.
@@nick7072 You're going to spend many years wondering why women won't talk to you. There's no secret to it. There's no conspiracy. There's no trick that'll solve it. The problem is you.
John Eusebio I think both of you need to calm the crap down and enjoy the parody video.
Two Natal Yods The accusers do have to prove themselves. That’s what the courtroom is for. And I didn’t attack men. I insulted Nick, because he seems to think it’s fair to lump all the people speaking out against sexual assault as false accusers. Some do. That’s horrible. Most don’t. And I’d rather have people feel willing to speak out against harassment and deal with the bad apples as they come than use blanket statements like he did and label them all as liars. People will always lie, and the legal system recognizes that. But people should NEVER be afraid to speak out against the perpetrators.
Nick
The OP was a joke and you missed it.
I was destroyed by the #MeToo movement. I lost my job for *an hour* and couldn't get my coffee at Starbucks because I had to fill out more paperwork. Can you believe it?? I had to suffer mild inconvenience because of this hysteria. This is what our country is coming to.
That sounds utterly horrific, I too had a similar experience and couldn’t find a job for half an hour.
@@gelatinouscube1460 my heart goes out to your horrid problems. may your future endeavors go unnoticed
You guys know a bunch of innocent scrubs got in trouble too, right?
@@seankrkovich2869 do you know what dark humor is
“It is sad that it is becoming a fashion to malign anyone known, bringing some stories from past without any truth or blown up false allegations if all. I deny strictly and firmly all false allegations like these.”............FAKE ACCUSATIONS ARE ON THE RISE DUE TO THIS FEMINIST PROPAGANDA.
these poor people. All they did was ..... well thats not important. How dare society accuse them for what they did. And to think that they took it seriously.
“It is sad that it is becoming a fashion to malign anyone known, bringing some stories from past without any truth or blown up false allegations if all. I deny strictly and firmly all false allegations like these.”............FAKE ACCUSATIONS ARE ON THE RISE DUE TO THIS FEMINIST PROPAGANDA.
@@Dolandtromm Okay, so how would you go about holding rapists and sexual predators in positions of power accountable?
@@RedRabbitEntertainment Thats the issue... nowadays men in positions of power are held accountable every one in amillion times they abuse their power. This isn't a world i want to live in.
@@devinnix9071 Why?
"It is not your fault that the allegations were actually taken seriously." ahahaha
@@jb5366 you did your part
@@jb5366 Ew
Allegations that are taken seriously are investigated because taking an allegation seriously means you acknowledge that an accusation is not evidence but that an accusation is the starting point for justice for all actual injustices too, thus being fair to both parties. Investigations take time. Firing someone instantly for an accusation that has not yet (and after the firing probably never will be) investigated is not taking an allegation 'seriously', it is taking an allegation as evidence, with no rights for the accused.
Not even the fucking Inquisition did that shit.
Pegasi Agreed. Sadly, in many cases, even the courts do not require evidence to convict, because the judge “believes all women.” That’s how it’s being done in Canada these days.
@@CHURCHISAWESUM you sound nervous as fuck about some chick holding you accountable for your bullshit lmaoooo
It’s not easy being an educated and privileged white guy. But every day I find the courage to get into my Bugatti and keep going.
Say satire dude because if you dont people gonna be pissed
Or even, in your case, just a privileged white guy.
It's not easy being a privileged black guy, either. When I did what these guys did, I told the former President about it and he said "If I had a son, he would be just like you."
+ Jade Finn $10 says this moron doesn't even have a car.
@@mbriancohen So... you're a complete fucking idiot?
This is really sad for an aspiring man like me who works hard to get into a position of power which I then want to exploit to get my way with women below my position.
Why can something like that even happen?
#Itoo
#Itoo
#Itoo
#itoo
#Itoo
The Onion desperately needs to do a follow up video for this on the poor suffering police officers who have been put on paid administrative leave -- or worse yet, forced to transfer to entirely different police departments -- just because they happened to murder an innocent Black person or two. It's just so unfair that they, like these men, are mildly inconvenienced due to their own actions, and they deserve a chance to speak out about it.
Lmao they already did that one actually
Or one on all the poor afflicted people who cry racism or sexism even when they are just pulled over for a mundane traffic stop for speeding. It’s a tough life, they have it worse than slaves did. It’s tough race-baiting and male-hating when given so little material to work with. These cops who only do their jobs are making the grievance industry have to work overtime. So disrespectful. Thank goodness for the few bad apple cops - they respect that the race peddlers, male haters, and anarchists need something to go on. Without these bad cops the hucksters would be so stressed and depressed that they would probably start committing mass suicide. So hears to you - the few bad cops out of a million! - you are keeping the dream of all hucksters alive!! You are truly doing the Lord’s work!!
@@joeterp5615 I love how your arguments are so weak that you cling to strawmen/extremists to decry an even-keeled progressive movement
@@RocketTurret hey my friend, the Onion is no place for the humorless - are you sure you are in the right place? Shouldn’t you be out burning a city down or something?
But really now, you didn’t see the first reply here as predictable boring tripe????
Or… maybe I’m wrong, maybe I’m missing the larger truth at play in society that he satirized. Perhaps the police ARE the source of all that is bad in the AA community and ARE responsible for the fact that there are more AAs murdered each year than whites - even though there are more than 4 times as many whites in the country. I guess problems within these communities themselves have NOTHING to do with it. So because white police are the biggest problem, it’s appropriate that we ONLY create national stories for instances where we think that an AA might have been unfairly treated by a WHITE police officer. And it’s good that we largely ignore all the specifics of particular instances - those pesky facts don’t matter. It may be true or not, the important thing is to rush to judgement because well, white police are ALL just racists anyway! So they inherently deserve to be punished for their white privilege! Woohoo! Get the word out and burn down some cities to get attention to the noble cause! Makes perfect sense! And don’t report black-on-black murders or black-on-white murders, and God forbid NEVER EVER report when a black man kills a white cop! Those are just distractions - and rather boring ones at that, because they take attention off the biggest problem in the country… no, make that the world… no, make that THE UNIVERSE!! - murderous white cops roaming the beautiful idyllic inner cities of our country slaughtering saintly young AA men who are only out in the streets because they are performing acts of kindness and charity for the aged, poor, and disadvantaged. Truly, if only we could get rid of EVERY cop in our cities, they would return to the perfect little pieces of joyful radiant paradise that is their natural state, a beacon for all the world to see and admire.
Thank you so much for leading me to reflect on these issues and to see the error of my ways! Long live the progressives! Down with white cops!
(Now where did I put my lighter fluid… I must say, I LOVE being an even-keeled progressive! Who knew it could be so much fun!)
@@joeterp5615 , thanks for beating me to it two months ago.
"And some of the women working at my new job are damn fine"
1.7k likes with not a single comment for a year?
@@digester2446 im on an onion binge one day huh
@KoivuTheHab oh god how did I make a typo that bad and still get so many likes? people are too generous
@KoivuTheHab I know what you're trying to say, but no this was an error that happened in the process of me typing the words out. Not in the process of me forming a sentence in my mind. It's tricky because the end result looks the same as a grammatical error, but what it looks like doesn't tell you what went wrong
Old comments.
Now 2020 only hire one gender.
We should be more sensitive to these problems :( the metoo movement doesn’t know how much they’ve hurt many sexual assaulters and rapists.
To be fair, it hurt innocent men too.
@@firemonkey1015 "when they make fun of the people i don't like they being based and redpilled, when they make fun of me they're being biased and unfair"
These men are actually the victims, so sad ://
They don't care, they basically ask for it and then cry when they get what they're asking for. Call it what it is: entrapment. Disgusting behavior on their part.
卐ϟZypheϟ卐. When do you allege the Onion didn’t have a political agenda? And if you don’t like it when people express political agendas, why do you have Nazi symbols in your username?
”Worse three hours of my life. I was ready to order a third, a fourth, a fifth.. But then I got a call.” 😅
do u think they could give me a job too? I didnt sexually assault someone I just want a job
You got to sexually assault someone to get a job. It's a requirement. Just harass a girl on the bus and boom you got yourself a job
Why not? Are you gay?
@@larsrichter8088 I really hope you’re joking
@@ingeborg418 how dare you. I never Joke.
@@larsrichter8088 OH SNAP
"It is not your fault that the allegations were actually taken seriously." LOL
Bishal Adhikary I read that as he said it
@@grantmitchell6738 sams
I'm happy this is sarcastic
“It is sad that it is becoming a fashion to malign anyone known, bringing some stories from past without any truth or blown up false allegations if all. I deny strictly and firmly all false allegations like these.”............FAKE ACCUSATIONS ARE ON THE RISE DUE TO THIS FEMINIST PROPAGANDA.
@@Dolandtromm Nice copypasta sexist moron.
See, copypastas are easy.
"I never thought I'd be put in a position where I was being held accountable for something I did."
lol
Reminds me of myself everyteim
“It is sad that it is becoming a fashion to malign anyone known, bringing some stories from past without any truth or blown up false allegations if all. I deny strictly and firmly all false allegations like these.”............FAKE ACCUSATIONS ARE ON THE RISE DUE TO THIS FEMINIST PROPAGANDA.
Wasn't half-heartedly throwing out a couple feelers how you got in trouble in the first place?
Best comment award
“It is sad that it is becoming a fashion to malign anyone known, bringing some stories from past without any truth or blown up false allegations if all. I deny strictly and firmly all false allegations like these.”............FAKE ACCUSATIONS ARE ON THE RISE DUE TO THIS FEMINIST PROPAGANDA.
@@Dolandtromm shut the fuck up
@@Dolandtromm
Very, very few. First of all, according to Rape Crisis, fewer than six percent of reported rapes end in a conviction (this number will of course include both false and true rape allegations). Furthermore, research for the Home Office found that 4% of "sexual violence" cases reported to the police are suspected to be false. Other studies carried out in Europe and the US indicated rates of between 2% and 6%.
The idea that women are likely to lie about being raped is no more than a misogynistic lie peddled by those with anger and resentment towards the women in our society. You seem to be convinced that accusations of rape can so easily result in imprisonment, however in 2016 a man accused of sexual assault by more than 40 women became thd democratically elected President of the United States.
*People do not take rape seriously enough.*
How brave of these men to come out with these stories. It's terrible how in our society people are held accountable for their actions.
Meanwhile the women who reported them were quietly let go after the dust settled and are working as waitresses because the corporate world plays by prison rules and in prison snitches get stitches.
I mean, while I don't agree with letting them go, from a business prospective, they'd be likely to "snitch" on other issues aswell, so it's much easier to let them go and not have them become associated with your brand
@@sadagusfate I understand the logic, it's still immoral and horrible because they're firing them to cover up their tracks
@@edward4840 oh for sure, og just made it sound like the companys were being spiteful, which isn't the case (at least probably, I can imagine some co's are just that twisted lol)
#WhyNotMe
cuz ur not t h i c c
Lena Dunham's next hashtag.
I just died
@Flappy McFlappington I can change that, if youd like.
@@VeryProfessionalGamer please
I can’t believe how selfish those women are who come forward about their harassers. Don’t they know how hard it is to be a man in the work industry? All they wanted to do was feel up some women, non consenting women, but women nonetheless, and to get fired over exerting their power like that! Appalling! Shame to those victims bc these men are the real victims in this situation 😞😭
NovaRanger Then don't make smartass comments like that
@@NovaRanger007 you shouldn't tell people to see sarcasm if you can't do it yourself just sayin
@@NovaRanger007 lmfao blind ass calls him an asshole despite saying someone they ate the onion for validation despite you not understanding sarcasm without /s
“It is sad that it is becoming a fashion to malign anyone known, bringing some stories from past without any truth or blown up false allegations if all. I deny strictly and firmly all false allegations like these.”............FAKE ACCUSATIONS ARE ON THE RISE DUE TO THIS FEMINIST PROPAGANDA.
idk who NovaRanger is but i don't like them and they probably are smelly kinda
‘so if you lost your job because of your own behaviour, stay strong’ 😿😿💯💯💯💯💯💯
I wish the onion would make a video for all the poor police officers who are suspended with pay for simply killing an innocent person
They already did like 15 years ago my dude
Soup is good. Here is a recipe for Cheesy Potato Soup:
TOTAL TIME: Prep: 10 min. Cook: 35 min. YIELD: 10 servings (2-1/2 quarts).
Ingredients
* 1 medium onion, chopped
* 2 tablespoons butter
* 6 medium potatoes, peeled and cubed
* 5 cups water
* 2 cups milk
* 1 can (10-3/4 ounces) condensed cream of chicken soup, undiluted
* 1/2 teaspoon garlic salt
* 1/8 teaspoon pepper
* 12 ounces process cheese (Velveeta), cubed
* Minced fresh parsley
Directions
* In a Dutch oven or soup kettle, saute onion in butter. Add potatoes and water. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 15 minutes or until potatoes are tender. Stir in the milk, soup, garlic salt and pepper; heat through. Add cheese; stir until cheese is melted. Sprinkle with parsley.
I love you
thanks
I needed this
Thx
Thank you
Wow. Everyone in the comments *gets* irony. What's going on?
Nothing is going on and you should be glad that you didn't see any of the bad comments
@@emmautterback3927 Ok Karen
@@michaelarnold417 Karen? Do you even know who/what Karen is? Or are you using it as a substitute for "ok boomer" and ignoring the meanings of the original terms?
@@michaelarnold417 booooo stfu
UA-cam puts the most popular comments first. You can change it to most recent if you want to read the more shitty ones.
2.2K guys took more than 3 hours to find a new job
this is so sad, Alexa play despacito 3.
Sad?
It's a meme.
Wait.. THERES A DESPACITO 3! How could I miss it!!
despacito play country road
If despa3to is so great, why is there still no despa3to 2?
I'm not sure why I said it so good luck figuring out what it was
@@nonyadamnbusiness9887 Progressive liberals are all communist terrorists and conservatives are all racist Nazis.
Ah, the simplicity of American politics, that are totally based on identity rather than policy positions, is so comforting.
Shhh half of the fun is seeing their reaction
Nonya Damnbusiness do you...think that?
Because Americans have an Irony Deficiency. Ask your doctor if satire is right for you.
right wingers only understand satire when it's directed at the left
They all went on to work at Fox News
Lmao
“It is sad that it is becoming a fashion to malign anyone known, bringing some stories from past without any truth or blown up false allegations if all. I deny strictly and firmly all false allegations like these.”............FAKE ACCUSATIONS ARE ON THE RISE DUE TO THIS FEMINIST PROPAGANDA.
I love how every Onion video has people arguing over who they're making fun of.
edit: case in point, my replies
most of them are actually pretty well liked with 50:1 or better L/D ratio.
Eric B yeah but that's not what they said
The Onion makes fun of all parties involved,no exceptions. It's a general rule of thumb
literally 4 comments up lol
Which doesn't make sense under this video. It's pretty clearly criticising the men in power.
This entire comment section is a battle for who has the best sarcasm, and it's totally you! That comment you just made was hilarious! 😂
Hey sans and papyrus
Thanks
Is this sarcasm
@@sarwatarannya8786 yes
ty
It may take you Most of the afternoon to find a new job.
After a few uncomfortable days where you almost lost front runner status for the nomination, you too can become president of the US!
Such brave men for dealing with the struggles they had to go through for 3 whole hours, god bless their hearts 💖
I still remember this day. I was just taking a vacation day at my 3rd house in the Bahamas, and I got a call saying that I was fired. I was about ready to fire my personal pilot so I could just make ends meet.
and that pilot has kids to feed!
I was fired after being arrested for indecent exposure when I opened my coat and flashed my suit at people at a nudist colony.
I can’t believe objects made for my perverse sexual desire and obscene lust would speak out again men, that’s just sickening
Such a horrific tragedy. How have we have let America digress to this?
It's the fluoride in the water. Oh, and the MGTOW movement; they're just a bunch of creepy fuckers one stuck zipper away from a shooting spree.
Mountain MGTOW "what is irony?"
purple: You are so right. America was once a place where railroads crisscrossed the nation. People used to shoot buffalo from the windows. But hey, I digress.
Opinunate ted Them buffalo were asking for it, tbh.
r/wooosh
Lmao These poor men
Laverne Blaszczyk lol Right?!
It sucks that their allegations were taken seriously.
yes that is the joke.
Allegations, *a claim or assertion that someone has done something illegal or wrong, typically one made without proof.*
*typically one made without proof.*
*made without proof.*
*without proof.*
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Don’t laugh this is serious
It’s always sad to see men like this being mildly inconvenienced due to their own actions
What is the world coming to where men can’t abuse their power to solicit favors from women
A man should be defined by his intentions, not actions. None of these men intended to have their conduct taken seriously.
"I texted a couple colleagues for support and they immediately responded with "Let me see what I can do.""
Perfect.
Check comments
Sort by new
_Grab your popcorn_
Lol
Holy shit I’m not alone lmao
Thanks. I needed a checkpoint for the incoming cringe and gullibility I'm gonna witness.
Thanks. I needed more popcorn. LoL
hilarious how many people are taking it seriously
So inspirational. It's so scary to think that men like me are persecuted these days only because they did the things they're accused of. Before you know it my company will have to pay net taxes instead of recieving net tax benefits. Why would I have to give up the things others have worked so hard for?
But this gives me hope
I'm so proud of these men for being so brave and coming forward with their stories
#IToo
#IToo
@@ethanreilly4737 tutu too
Was this guy caught by himself bad touching himself while he was watching it all go down.
😁😁😁🐝
#Itoo
This shit is hilarious😂
Dude in the blue said: 👁 👁
Hammerhead shark 🐟
Our society has gotten better at making sure those in power face consequences for harming others. What is the world coming to? 😞
Okay this feels a bit too real
These men are the real victims. Stay strong guys. #Itoo
#Itoo
So unfair:(
The best (and worst) part about satire is that it imitates reality. The fact that these types of mindsets exist in the real world, (rape victims being told to think of their rapists future before reporting or suing) is sickening.
And then they talk of consent.... Did those men consent to being reported and fired like that? Highly doubt it 🧐🧐
"Was a tough 3 and a half hours" 😂
I even typed monster.com into my browser lol
If you hadn't made that comment, I would've typed monster.com into my browser. Thank you.
I feel you! Being caught/accountable is so hard
Why does that one guy look like a wholesale Harry potter
POV: You're searching by "Newest First".
lmfao how else is anybody gonna see this
Honestly, I am disapointed but not surprised by what I read in newest first
Lol. I did and now I’m regretting it.
If it’s The Onion, it’s always “newest first”.
Activision Blizzard
Why is this *still* accurate 4 years later
This video made me realize that I have been doing it all wrong professionally. Good bye to my former woke bro self and being loyal to my wife.
Thanks The Onion. After getting accused of harassment I too am now making more money and in a higher position.
It is wonderful that, after such a terrifying and life altering situation, these poor men were able to get back on their feet. This is the type of news story that brings hope to the world.
/s?
The funniest thing about this video is how many people didn’t notice what channel this was on, or what The Onion is about.
“Un-accrued pto, gone”
Finally. The real victims speak out.
God bless.
The Onion helps me disassociate and pretend like I'm looking at a darker timeline instead of my own
" I actually lost my job from me too, it's been an absolute nightmare finding people to rape ever since."
As a woman, I’m proud to say I stand with these men ❤️ and that’s not because I fear my employer showing my boyfriend the videos of him raping me after our last company meeting- it’s because I care about the courageous, wealthy white men of America. 💕
Y'ain’t
Thank You.
U know this is what we need. Women who will take responsibility for the actions of us straight hwhite males..thank u
Same girl #IToo
You mean Jewish, the people at the top are Jewish, not White. Think about it, Epstein, Weinstein, what's the connection?
Good girl!
Oh this is satire… dang it I panicked a moment there reading the comments
Blud got onioned
Funny. But this does actually effect innocent ppl sometimes. Glad the unemployment only lasts a few hours tho. Wouldnt want them to be secretary-less.
I’ve actually had a feminist tell me before “if we have to ruin a few innocent men’s lives along the way to equality so be it” and I just. 🤔
They always ask who is the harasser, but never ask how is the harasser.
These men are an inspiration to all of us!
Lmao username checks out.
*Offer only available in white
These were brave men. There is still good in the world huh
“I, too” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Good thing i work at a funeral home.
They can't have allegations now! 😈
I feel like Harvey plays this on repeat
This is a blantant lie! It took two whole days before they hired me.
This issue is actually a big problem in America I asked about the strictness of the sexual harassment policy and got turned down this is unbelievable
No offense, but if I were an employer I would do that too. Asking about the strictness of the sexual harassment policy at an _interview_ is like holding a big neon sign above your head that says “I am going to attract lawsuits”. By asking how strict it is, you are directly implying that you are worried that you will sexually harass someone, which is not what a company wants to deal with.
Also, I think that you missed that this video is supposed to be making fun of the men.
@@bean6803 I think you missed the joke
Tatsujiro Kurogane I’m already on a watchlist for that I can’t imagine what they’d do over a second simple question
Bean I understand it’s making fun of people who have had their mental state or livelihoods ruined like me I want to bring light to this situation
PhantomLordMXVI - Ah, my bad dude. It totally flew over my head. Poe’s law I guess
*I will remember you* - Begins playing from Sarah McLachlan
Honestly I don't think most of commenters realize this is satire.
so hopeful and inspiring! Very glad to see our patriarchal traditions still staying strong 🥰, i hope to be one of those secretaries one day. God bless America! ❤️
Because of my allegations, i no longer had a secretary...
Glad the Onion is clearing out their shittier fans with this good shit
They found the most stereotypical looking 'office pests' for this.
I got lucky with only get funny comments for a while there. Then I saw the wretched underbelly that I knew would be there for this video. Yay.
It's right below your comment, LOL
Who here after Bill Cosby was released?
I'm always here.
Everyone who left a comment after Bill Cosby was released, I guess.
Everything is nice and empowering until you get fired for false accusations.
A man is 200x more likely to be r@ped by another man than to be falsely accused of r@pe.
@@ultra5403 is not as uncommon as you think, really
@@ultra5403 Under the assumption that this statement is true, does that mean that it's fine to throw those who ARE innocent under the bus?
“I never thought I’d be held accounts for something I did” 😂
It's only a crime if you forget to ask : "We're good here, right ?"
The "whole network of men that help men like me get back on their feet" was damn funny. Bravo onion.
Joking aside, I'd love to see how long it takes MeToo predators to get new jobs. For CEOs, it probably is this fast. But for lower level workers, I wonder if their behavior makes it harder to find a job than it already is for most of us
Are you serious? If your name has been in the news related to #metoo, you will never find a job again. Especially at a high position.
@@SH0907 lol ok.
@@SH0907 so naïve
@@SH0907 men cover men my friend. We are not ready to let others hang out to dry because we may also have our own me too moment and need a job.
@@abrahambaraka2924 boys support boys