Your Brain-Gun: Turn The Safety Off - Onion Talks - Ep. 12
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- Опубліковано 1 січ 2013
- The most powerful weapon isn't in a missile silo: it's in your head. Leonard Pace explains why we should be far more terrified of our brain guns than any manmade weapon.
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The man from the audience is lucky that the presenter died of exhaustion moments before the presenter fired thoughts at him.
Not thoughts. "New ideas"
And he became an old way of thinking
He died of Police
The presenter died of exhaustion moments before he tried to use his brain to fire ideas at the old way of thinking
That's just The Onion's studio sniper. He's always on set.
Ever since my local community theatre got one of these guys, the performances have been superb! I recommend. Plus, the attendance has gone up 500%, so this guy basically pays for himself :)
Yeah Josh is a great shot
I hear he is the only paid intern on set
That was actually a guy the audience member had bullied as a child. A few days before this Onion Talk, the audience member called him to apologize.
hes a good cat
"The gun is truth, when I pull this trigger, truth happens." Is a chilling sentence.
Matt H pulp fiction anyone?
Chilling? It's fucking hilarious.
@@armoredp sometimes im worreid about you, you know.
@@jenshep1720 it's funny because it's ridiculous. Make someone like the Joker or a movie psychopath say it in a serious tone and it becomes chilling and meaningful, but coming from the guy in the video it's absurd, causing it to be funny.
I've heard a parallel to this quote.. "Power comes from the barrel of the gun". Is it related? Idk really.
His presentation would benefit from a bullet point list.
@Tatsujiro Kurogane he could still give it a shot.
Roman Chukanov rip your comments
Roman Chukanov
He inspired me to shoot for the stars.
🤣
it would only work for the english speaking viewers though, because no actual bullets are used in a bullet point list. It's the same word, but not the same object. It would not translate well to other languages, and it would be missed by the international audience.
Thank god that guy was there to correct the speaker on mistakenly calling the magazine a clip. What a hero.
Who?
@@AjarSensation the sniper
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yeah the presenter didn't even properly load the gun, it still had a blank in the chamber. Can't believe they let such an amateur on stage.
How does both the onion and this commenter have the power of time travel?
The brilliance of onion humor is that it takes the absurdity so seriously that it bears a frightening resemblance to truth. BANG!
*TEDtalks
They do God's work
Onion>CNN
Thx for explaining satire
“Area Genius Notes Similarities Between Satire and Reality”
I love how this is basically a super villain monologue
The speaker obviously planted the sniper there to prove his point. He's a martyr of the highest stock.
He’s a man of the highest caliber
True zen teaching
this is the joker back when he had a day job.
And he got what he fuckin' deserved.
100%
Guess it was part of his act after all
@@HolyApplebutter I wish I had got seen jokes it's a real shame they just vanished
The Joker Strikes Again !!
Plot twist: the guy was never told this was an Onion talk
When the voices in your head shoot a 30 mm idea into your brain, you just have to return the favor
@@reterbid6215 30mm is a little bit big, you know?
@@aixide Actually it's a bit small, i prefer using Howitzer Shells, but I understand some people may need to work up to that
Ah, so this is where TED Talks rejects go 🤣🤣
I just love how heavy his breathe gets when he aims the gun
Homie was brainstorming too hard he passed out with exhaustion!
What a great speaker!
guns dont kill people, brains do.
lendial What about those walking guns with a brain and a grudge against their cruel creators and human masters?
@@AndrooUK penis
@@AndrooUK penis
@@AndrooUK penis
@@AndrooUK penis
The similar "TedTalks" tries to parody OnionTalks, but they fall far short.
Facts
They just need to use more brain guns
Yep, i hate some of their talk.
it is an open world, so anybody can talk there, even someone without a brain, brain guns.
I'm surprised no one has mentioned that if you actually fired a blank at someone's head like that at close range, it could do serious damage. Blanks are serious explosions!
erm .. I doubt he fired ANYTHING from that gun ..idiot ..
What blanks???? Those were ideas.......??
@@kittyhawk9707 you must be a really fun guy
It would most likely be fatal, as the explosion would propel bits of your skull through your brain like bullets.
Aren't there closed off blanks with holes at top of barrel?
This video is existentially hilarious but genuinely intense.
@ludlow 889 someone's been using their brain gun.
This video really touches bases on the core issues we face.
I could see this in a thriller or horror movie somewhere, the premise of an inspirational speaker gone rogue is really creative
"When I pull this trigger, truth happens."
Sounds like something Samuel L. Jackson would say in a Tarantino movie
Didn't Cypher say something like that when killing Switch in The Matrix?
"My brain ripped through this puzzle like a hollow point bullet, embedding it with the shrapnel of reason"...hands down, divine writing
“When I pull this trigger, truth happens.“ What a quote.
Put this guy in a movie! He had me scared.
He had me aroused.
@@michaelshannon6134 Oh this, I don't like this.
@@michaelshannon6134 On second thought...
The heavy breathing was a nice touch.
Same here
The Onion over here doing Black Mirror better than Black Mirror
It's a shame they dont upload anymore.
But judging by the story they posted about Disney+, I'm pretty sure they have something in the works.
@@snakeyman5560 doesnt look like it, i dont know exactly what happened but i know they lost a lot of money and thats why there newest uploads are kinda shit.
Spoiler:
I like to believe he got shot for saying _clip_ when it was actually a _magazine._
James Pawson well, there is one semi-auto pistol that has a magazine that doubles as a clip, so let's just say it is that one.
@AdvocateIX obviously the 116 people who liked it, and the 3 comments, including yourself, under the comment. Maybe if you weren't so busy thinking for others and developed the capability of thinking for yourself you'd be able to figure this out on your own.
Zachary Bacon lol you are taking semantics so seriously I hope you are joking.
@@TranscendTheSun Mocking the original comment doesn't equal caring about the subject it touches. Maybe if you weren't so busy thinking for others and developed the capability of thinking for yourself you'd be able to figure this out on your own.
2.
a metal holder containing cartridges for an automatic firearm.
Gun = brain
Gunfire = ideas
Corpses = old way of thinking
Holy shit, you watched the video too? Crazy!
Police = exhaustion
@@immortalsun it's called taking notes
clip = mag?
@@immortalsun HOWS IT GOING BOIS! I see your name indicates that you're a man of culture
the sniper was actually invested in the speech but the speaker called a magazine a clip and now he had to put a stop to it
The world needs more Onion Talks
Agreed; this and horrifying planet are probably my two favorite series
dude the brilliance of having him fire a live round in the middle of the lecture after he's already swept the crowd so many times. They could have been saying oh it's not loaded oh it's a fake gun and then he goes and pops around off in the middle of the lecture. The stunned looks in the crowd are also just fantastic.
3 years late to this comment but him having his finger on the trigger the whole time was hilarious
The speech patterns and emphasis, tone is spot on every TED talk I ever heard.
I agree with others in that having the audience react normally messes with the canon of this series, but hot damn that was intense.
If they were acting normally they’d have run screaming out of the room
They didn't react normally, they were still sitting
Those gasps aren't out of fear of the gun, they fear the power the brain holds.
I see a lot of people nitpicking that he called the magazine a clip and that firing a blank at that range would've caused serious harm, but I'm not seeing anyone pointing out that he didn't chamber a new round after changing magazines, so his next shot would've still been a round from the first magazine.
Also blanks aren't strong enough to cycle the action anyway. And thats why realism in movies is retardation
He took it too far when he called it a clip and they had to put him down.
@DiscoFalcon Or else...
No one fucking cares
@DiscoFalcon What is the difference?
@DiscoFalcon I was being a smart ass. I wasn't expecting a fast reply. Hahaha
@TheEsotericZebra More like an over explained analogy and somehow at the same time incoherent rant.
Guess his ideas got shot down...
Another hero killed by the establishment for being a visionary thinker.
My brain is a concealed carry.
What an inspiration. Indeed, why DON'T we cower in fear when we see a free-thinker walking down the street, wielding their brain?
I lost it when I saw the thumbs-up slide: "Live Up To Your Capabilities!"
i which i had a drivers license so i could do drive bye thinkings.....
Drive bye thanks
The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun, is a good guy with a bigger gun.
nickmeistersa OMG!!! Just relax
nickmeistersa the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun, is a good guy with good vibes who will teach him how to chill.
this has to be the weirdest slam poetry session I've ever seen
No props!!!!
That guy at the end is really using his brain to destroy the old way of thinking, which is the guy that created this metaphor in the first place? Or is he supposed to represent exhaustion making him pass out? Maybe he’s supposed to show that all new ideas will eventually be killed by even newer ideas (which are also the police). Is he supposed to show that some new ideas are terrifying, but some aren’t? Is it supposed to show us that fear is created by our brain and we should use that for extortion? Maybe it’s saying that the world will never progress beyond its old way of thinking if we let the police kill us. This guy was truly a visionary.
Agreed there are so many layers to this.
This sounds like an introductory cutscene for the villain in a video game
I like the subtle implication that TED talks always have a sniper trained on the speaker. You know, in case they start a mass thinking.
Wow. The acting and directing in that was far more terrifying than basically any Hollywood movie I've seen where bad guys are waving around guns.
All Onion talks have helped me grow soo much as a person
Yes, indeed
For free too
I definitely have learned more than I could imagine with OnionTalks. That's more than I can say for the knockoff called "Ted Talks"
Not going to lie, this skit had me on edge
How could the audience just sit there when the presenter was carelessly showing off his brain?
The most frightening thing about this presentation is his terrifying trigger discipline.
I saw that too.
IM FIRING MY NEW IDEAS AT MY COWORKERS AS WE SPEAK!!!
Did exhaustion stop you? We need an update.
Well, we found the "Sudoku killer"
I like how he has his finger on the trigger the entire time lol
this dude would make a beautiful Farcry character
His finger on the trigger constantly only makes this better
“When I pull this trigger, truth happens”
This may not be the Ted talk we all wanted but it’s the Ted talk we deserve.
When he loads the second clip, the doesn't cock it so the weapon still had a blank round in the chamber,
That's a magazine not he used the term wrong
why is the sudoku edited to be unsolvable lmao
I bow to your superior autism m'sir
I like how the guy at the end isn't a cop but some shady guy who looks like a shooter
He wasn't using his brain gun properly when he called the magazine a clip. That's why the other guy shot him.
This is actually how most TED talks end.
I have never met anyone who could out smart a bullet.
That’s fucked up, he swapped the clip but there was still a blank in the chamber. That fake fake-news. The sniper shot an innocent man, I demand he pays for that round he fired. Bullets are expensive!
I agree with this comment, bullets are really expensive
This guy makes a seriously compelling argument for letting the intrusive thoughts win.
Well that escalated quickly.
The scariest part of this video is definitely that trigger discipline.
Man that guy is going to be traumatized for life!
(traumatized = inspired)
This is one of my favorite onion videos and it’s way under appreciated
This is one of my favorite Onion videos. Just hilarious.
This was so inspiring. Thank you onion.
oh my god, i cant take my eyes off his finger on the trigger lol
Yep. I was cringing.
You two make me cringe
@@bobobsen Don't know guns?
@@BeltFedSelfDefense it's a fake gun.. The guy will probably never hold a real gun anyway
Do you really think he cared about trigger discipline?
Lol. Always a special kind of pleasure to discover an old Onion video you've never seem before. Miss their hayday.
most coherent TED Talk
A magazine must have a feeder in it. This feeder is what pushes a new round into the path of the bolt, which then can chamber it. A clip does not have this feeder and thus cannot be used to feed new rounds into the chamber. A clip is used to charge an internal magazine, such as what the M1 Garand has which uses an En Bloc clip to reload its internal magazine. The best way to tell the difference is to see how you put bullets in it; if there's a spring to move, it's a magazine. If not it's a clip
2:49 "Gonna get close." Nice that he warned the guy. Wouldn't want to startle him.
i think this guy isnt even the guy that was supposed to come. he just broke in and is improvising a cover-up
I think the shadowy figure who kills him at the end represents the people who always kill or shutdown those with great ideas
Best channel on youtube
This just blew my gun
Best one so far, love the Talks.
I like the inspiring words in the beginning, during the last scene of the intro, there’s the word “boom”. So inspiring
I like how the other videos parody legit Ted Talks, but this guy is completely out of his mind.
So you're saying it's parodying more recent TED talks? Some of them are pretty nuts and remember that Mars One and Theranos had TED talks.
@@Lawofimprobability Oh where does parody end and reality begin? Does anyone know anymore?
@@squamish4244 It is really hard to distinguish parody from sincerity (see Poe's Law) and part of that is probably the increased ability to see crazies being vocal and part of it is probably the difficulty in distinguishing between leaps of genius and leaps of stupidity.
@@Lawofimprobability If the president can talk about injecting bleach with a straight face, it is game over for parody.
**
Fine! I didn't want to do that TED-Talk anyways!
Your ending was stupid, anyways! **
This is my favorite Onion talk. Great work
They should continue this series! I was looking forward to more.
this was pure genius all around... o_o
the onion is bringing it to the table, hard ...
this year
I'm surprised there aren't more Joker related comments here especially when he talked about *Society*
Guy in red is like "Man I'm glad I called that guy."
This is one of the best OnionTalks videos yet.
I’m going to go unload a clip of ideas on those kids at school that used to make fun of me
Soon they will be the old way of thinking
The brain doesn't take clips, it takes magazines
Underrated
The sniper at the end is the one man who truly took his lesson to heart.
This is way more terrifying than any movie I've sen in a while
This man's words have shot right through my heart.
Now that is the true American Ted Talk
"Aren't they?...Aren't they?"
* stares in terror *
This presentation makes genuine sense and I think that's the scariest part
Is this a deleted scene for Joker?
This dude is actually just a philosophical mad man that snuck on stage
The BEST Onion Talk yet!
That's what you get for calling it a clip.
Dang , he was making sense. Wish he finished. Ted talk I hope you're learning.
This had more tension than any rea life action movie. It was all just so real.
The only defense against a bad guy with a brain is a good guy with a brain.
Seriously, this was the darkest Onion I've ever seen. I was really scared.
Truly great video