Make Anxiety and Anger Work For You | Jordan Peterson | Best Life Advice
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- Опубліковано 2 бер 2021
- "Instead of you having a dragon that's guarding the path in front of you, well, you have one chasing you down the path from behind. That's a lot more useful."
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➤➤Speaker:
Jordan Peterson
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➤➤Video Sources:
2017 Personality 10 Humanism & Phenomenology Carl Rogers
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➤➤Transcript (partial):
What happens if-if you're playing the proper game is that you integrate your emotions underneath your thinking, something like that. So, they're all working in the same direction.
You can make your anxiety work against you or for you. I made a program, called the Future Authoring Program, that I think helps people do that. 'Cause, one of the things you see when you're talking to people and they're trying to solve problems is that they're afraid to face the problem. And so, then, their anxiety is working against them and you can think about it as a-as antagonistic to rationality. But then, I could say, well, why don’t you think for a while about what your life would be like if you didn't face this problem? Because, if you think that through, if you have a problem and you really think through what the consequences are gonna be in three to five years of not facing it, then you're gonna get more afraid of not facing it than facing it. And that's great because then, your anxiety, instead of standing in front of you-instead of you having a dragon that's guarding the path in front of you, well, you have one chasing you down the path from behind. That's a lot more useful. And so... You know, that's just a-a minimal example of the utility of getting your emotions and your-and your thoughts aligned the same way. The same thing happens with aggression. You know, one of the most common reasons that people come and seek psychotherapy, really, is because they're too agreeable. But, what that means is they're not assertive enough. They haven't integrated their capacity for aggression. And so, other people can push them around. And they're very conflict avoidant. And so, the consequences of that across time is that you don't stand up for yourself well enough and you get taken advantage of and that spirals badly downward. And so, partly what you do when you're doing assertiveness training with people is you find out what they're angry about and they're usually angry, if they're not assertive enough, because other people are taking advantage of them or, you could say, because they're not putting their own necessities forward with enough force. It's hard to distinguish between those two things. But, anyways, you get them to talk about what they're angry about-that often makes them cry, often many times-and then, you get them to kind of envision what they would want to have instead, which they're often afraid to do because people are afraid to think about what they want because that makes it more clear when they're not getting it and that's painful, right? Or, maybe, they're afraid of hoping so they won't specify a clear aim. But, anyways, you get them to think about what they might want instead. You get them to think about the costs of not pursuing that and then, you help them develop strategies for integrating their aggression and with their thinking, so that they can come up with a plan to approach the world in a more confident way. So, for example, someone might come to me and say, "I'm being bullied badly at work." And so, then, I'll say, "Well, what are your options? Do you have to put up with it? Well, we'll figure that out cause maybe you do, maybe you don't have options. But here's how to find out. Get your damn CV together, so it's pristine, right? It's ready to go. Get over your fear of a new interview, because people are generally afraid of that. Get over your fear of applying for a new job...
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*"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time."*
I believe in you my friend, never give up...
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Have your resume or CV ready and plan to find a new job ready and get the new position before you're burned out. If you wait too long you'll be too upset and exhausted to find another position. I learned this the hard way.
could help me. I have a Bachelor in Interior design but it's been four years that I'm at home bcs of my mental health, I got really bad anxiety and depression after finishing my studies. And I'm scared to even try to find a work, what will people think of me..
Emotions have a lot of power you can channel with the right perspective
You can also make Anxiety & Anger work for you in regards to exercise. I recommend doing Cardio for Anxiety and Resistance Training (lifting weights) for Anger. You'll get some phenomenal workouts in and a much better mind-body connection that will put you at ease.
I concur with this man.
This is how I healed my wounds…
So true !
This man is right, I go running up the hills to cure my anxieties and they help
can i do cardio for anger?
Today I was too afraid to actually face one of the biggest problems I have in my life. I have been telling myself for months that I’ll finally do something about it. I was so ready to face it today, get up early, have a nice breakfast and get it over with. But I was and still am scared of it. I don’t care much for motivational videos, they often seem so pretentious and overpowering in an uncomfortable way. But this time it feels like this video came at just the right time for me. Maybe I’ll find my strength again, and use my fears and frustration as fuel. Thank you for uploading this, I really needed it.
Have you faced your problem yet? Come on Dana. It's better to go to the Dragons lair, then the Dragon coming to you.
@@dylanmistry9357 I haven’t just yet. I really want to start today. But the fear of what I’ll be facing before reaching my goal terrifies me way too much, it’s incredibly difficult to focus on the end result. I just feel stuck.
Dana, the fact that you IDENTIFIED your problem instead of finding excuses and you are READY to take a first step is a progress.
Take 1 baby step in a time. Don't doubt and NEVER look back in the past.
It will take you somewhere.
YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO WILL TAKE THOSE STEPS.
And it feels sooo good after you take a step and make a mental check in your mind.
Good luck and keep chasing your sweet sweet dopamine!!!!
Remember what Jordan said about what your problem will be like 3 or 4 years down the road. If it's bad now, what will it be like later? It's always better to slay that demon sooner than later.
You got this!
It was overwhelmingly painful but it was the truth.
"You can make your anxiety work against you or for you"
I never thought of it that way
Thank you internet dad
I wish I had watched this sooner, having left a toxic work environment. I overstayed due to fear, but the anxiety and stress took their toll, and caused me to have both emotional and mental burnout. I'm now trying to start over, but going to be more in tune with the job, and pay attention to similar "signs" as before. I also intend to treat the job, as only a part of my life, and not have it define me.
You just gotta keep going and fighting for everything, and one day you'll get to where you want. 🦁
I believe in you, keep your hustle up.
I can't be the only one who feels like he's only talking to you, amazing.
"Anger tells you to run away and attack at the same time"
A truly great man. He has helped me so much.
I haven't listened yet, but already love it. Thank you, Universe and Jordan Peterson. How did you know?
I clicked a like as soon as at 1:00! The rest is just as right and divine. Fight your dragon people. :D
I wish I could give JP a hug and thank him.
If I am willing to admit being part of the problems, rather than thinking that I am outside the problems … the anger I was tempted to feel dissipates and allows me the mental space I need to in turn consider that there is always more to the story than my self-centered tunnel vision is “wanting” to comprehend.
Raymond W. Novaco coined the phrase Anger Management. "We all experience anger; anger only becomes a serious concern when an individual is angry too frequently, too intensely, and for too long." ~ Raymond W. Novaco, 1984
Priceless advice....
Thank you Jordan!
Love this. Cheers from Croatia❤
Oho !! Hrvati su tu !!!
thank you very much idlo
Thanks Jordon.. Keep going. You are able to tap into inate knowledge that not enough people can express. Assertive and true
Thanks that was really helpful i got like this and five or more other issues
Thank you for great advice.
God bless this man. Simple put such effective strategies
i was feeling lonely while studying for my semester exams in the first 1.5 min i found my perspective and drive
great work dr peterson
Goat
This thing just makes me happy 😎
No dislikes wowwww! Only the great JP can do that
All I ever wanted was what this world can't give me. Not because it's unable but because it's unwilling, not because I've done anything wrong but because I'm different. All I wanted to have is to be able to survive without constant agonizing fear, to have a lasting calm, to feel a genuine peace and love. Yet all my efforts seem as nothing but a joke that's spit on creating a barely contained rage that threatens to destroy the one good thing about myself and everything around me. I don't seek money, power, or control, things that you take. I seek that which can only be given.
ill be sitting hear for whenever people actully want to fix this place i thought this time was the time but nope they still dont gerit
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When your conscience levels up
Woe
Becoming angry when needed is normal. But as I tell my own subscribers--staying in that state is not. Suffering from chronic anger causes a few problems. First it impedes your progress. By draining your energy that you should be using to advance yourself. Ever been angry all day at work then skipped that night workout? That's probably why. But it also isn't physically healthy and can lead to long term effects on the heart and doctors now think future cancer as well. Not to mention high blood pressure. There are two simple methods I tell my own people how to control anger. One you have with you--your breathing. You can breathe in a meditative state while walking down the street. You picture a coil slowly unwinding as if you were breathing through your stomach. Slow and in and out. Wind the coil and let it go slowly. It calms you down and if you do it every few hours for maybe ten reps then it keeps you calm. Second--reflect on what you are growing angry about. Is it really going to affect you even four months from now? You'll find many times it won't. So I would use these techniques to minimize anger so you can only progress forward. Hope that helps someone out there---Charles
Unfortunately I have two dragons - one behind me (inner pressure) and one in front of me (resistance) and they are just crushing on me all the time... Terrible experience.
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I have anger in a Sadie pull out problems but I'm also a schizophrenic bipolar have drug alcohol abuse and depressed I'm not going through depression and I have four years luck inside my house which I am so scared to come out of my house because I don't know what to do with my life now this is so bad of that I can't even think it hurts even trying to think a little bit so I cannot solve my life in any way and I can't even take care of my five year old son and I'm living in one of the second place largest dangerous place of the whole world is Mexico and Tijuana and it's difficult because I have to pick up trash sometimes to eat and go through life because his whole heart over here so he's even sucks in worse because I can't even get myself out of this so what could I do
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Bottom line is you can choose to try, put in the work, fight against the odds, do things differently OR choose to let all the external factors (society, people, the world, etc) destroy you. Fight for yourself no matter what.
Great video! We make positive content too!💜
Well.. in the work environment this is a different story..HR can be involved and if this won't work then higher institutions.
How???
What about when they have borderline personality disorder?
This man should be preaching the gospel with his intelligence & intellect instead of talking worldly feelings & how to solve them! God can use His Word to confront these traits of the human being or thoughts from the devil aka satan!
you want to shift all the problem on the individul i dont agree with tht some people are finding themselves born at the bottom of the hierarchy
You can buy microcameras that look like a button on your shirt or jacket, videoing people when they step ot of line. Take it to your manager and that person will be out of a job. Bye bye...
Our son has somehow justified being very rude to people after he’s listen to you a long time & he’s said that we have to be able to say what we think but he’s very rude he’s very cruel to me as his mom and called me names that there’s no way you would agree with, all the terrible things he said to me and I didn’t do anything to deserve that. he has bitterness concerning other relationships. but I don’t think you wanted that to come out of that your teachings I sure wish you had a way of correcting the thinking of my son because I don’t believe that’s what you intended for him to get out of your videos is a right to be angry and a right to turn away from family who loved him and did not do anything wrong to him. He developed what our local mental health facility hospital called marijuana induced bipolar. And I guess that changes how he looks at stuff but it’s too bad you aren’t here to talk to him because I know you would say hey buddy you got me wrong.