“I’m worried I will never find love…” | Jordan Peterson

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  • Опубліковано 24 жов 2021
  • Jordan Peterson provides tips on how to find love, how to put yourself out there and overcome fear of rejection.
    ⚪️ ⚪️ ⚪️ This short is extracted from What’s the Most Effective Way of Overcoming Self-Deception? | Q&A 06-17-2021 | Jordan B. Peterson. #shorts
    🔴 This channel is not run by Dr. Peterson or his team.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,4 тис.

  • @Greg-om2hb
    @Greg-om2hb 2 роки тому +4486

    “I don’t understand why half the world is crying, when the other half is crying, too.”
    -Janis Joplin

    • @mullemeck5015
      @mullemeck5015 2 роки тому +49

      I dont get it

    • @deisk2707
      @deisk2707 2 роки тому +15

      How? Everyone's crying, but what are they crying for?

    • @karleyj9706
      @karleyj9706 2 роки тому +50

      I think he meant that everyone is worried they will never find love, in context to the video.

    • @Maymay-mz4cp
      @Maymay-mz4cp 2 роки тому +104

      @@deisk2707 half of the world means women and the other half is men so so they both do cry

    • @devilmonk2798
      @devilmonk2798 2 роки тому +9

      @@Maymay-mz4cp thanks

  • @michaelszabo3071
    @michaelszabo3071 2 роки тому +4670

    I love this so much. You can hear him talking to you just like a father would tell his child. It’s in the care of his voice that you can rest assured there is good out there and that person for you is not an absent abnormality but rather a necessity created just for you. Your someone is out there, don’t stop looking but also don’t stop being your best you because that’s who they’ve got their eye out for.

    • @dn1697
      @dn1697 2 роки тому +14

      ... ... all flawed advice ... JP admits himself that attraction is unknown ... so finding love outside of family, through biased groups and people without your best interests is unsurprisingly vague ...

    • @timangar9771
      @timangar9771 2 роки тому +9

      None of this is remotely what he is saying here.

    • @michaelszabo3071
      @michaelszabo3071 2 роки тому +35

      @@timangar9771 can’t a fulking guy just have a bit of dam hope?

    • @Onlinesully
      @Onlinesully 2 роки тому +2

      It feels warm yes

    • @mandel94
      @mandel94 2 роки тому +12

      A necessity created just for you? Uhhh, no. No one was "created just for" anyone else.

  • @soumickmostofa1249
    @soumickmostofa1249 2 роки тому +2543

    I kinda teared up ngl
    His eyes was thinnking of his wife and he was recalling some of his own memories. MAN.. I felt it

    • @user-kj2gf1cn1p
      @user-kj2gf1cn1p 2 роки тому +9

      same!!

    • @timt6312
      @timt6312 2 роки тому +42

      How do you know what he thinks?

    • @basketballTaco
      @basketballTaco 2 роки тому +115

      @@timt6312 intuition, a different kind of knowing.

    • @timt6312
      @timt6312 2 роки тому +32

      @@basketballTaco sounds like bs to me

    • @basketballTaco
      @basketballTaco 2 роки тому +123

      @@timt6312 It is bs actually. I tried to fool you and failed. I wonder how you figured it out. Some thing, starts with an 'i'... 🤔

  • @hollysmith1347
    @hollysmith1347 2 роки тому +422

    And make sure that person is a life partner you can tolerate. Remember looks change, money comes and goes. But if you can't stand the person you wake-up next to each day. You're not just wasting your time but their's.

    • @oscarbear7498
      @oscarbear7498 2 роки тому +3

      Your cute, what's your story ☺

    • @debarshidas8072
      @debarshidas8072 2 роки тому +15

      @@oscarbear7498 Bro down bad! I guess you're putting yourself out there.

    • @oscarbear7498
      @oscarbear7498 2 роки тому +3

      shooting my shot, I like this girl

    • @humanname6534
      @humanname6534 2 роки тому

      @@oscarbear7498 You're*

    • @oscarbear7498
      @oscarbear7498 2 роки тому +2

      @@humanname6534 I was gunna put ur
      But felt fancy 😎

  • @SwastikSwarupDas
    @SwastikSwarupDas 2 роки тому +204

    Man I wish my dad talked to me like this. Literally my depression would be cured.

    • @user-qe7bt9dz1l
      @user-qe7bt9dz1l 2 роки тому +6

      Maybe you need to have a blunt talk with him about it otherwise he’ll probably never realize it’s an issue for you. Bluntness solves more problems than staying quiet does because it lets people know what you want and need. It’s especially one of, if not the most important thing in a relationship!

    • @srishtishetty8578
      @srishtishetty8578 2 роки тому +6

      Doesn't happen in India lol

    • @manishleekha7803
      @manishleekha7803 2 роки тому +2

      @@srishtishetty8578 Don't generalize :)

    • @Carolina-cb6hp
      @Carolina-cb6hp 2 роки тому

      @@user-qe7bt9dz1l It´s easy say it, but hard to do... At least for me, yes.

    • @user-bn9ko2xe5i
      @user-bn9ko2xe5i 2 роки тому

      God bless you and make your depression be healed

  • @DvornyashkaDiaries
    @DvornyashkaDiaries 2 роки тому +1632

    I like how he is trying so hard to not sound romantic 🤣

    • @janaenae1338
      @janaenae1338 2 роки тому +8

      💖😍🌷🔥💖🔥💖🔥💖🔥💖🔥🌷🔥

    • @Matthew-oe2fx
      @Matthew-oe2fx 6 місяців тому +5

      Romance is dead lol

    • @zalenn45
      @zalenn45 6 місяців тому +1

      @@Matthew-oe2fxdamn why say dat

    • @Matthew-oe2fx
      @Matthew-oe2fx 6 місяців тому +12

      @@zalenn45 I've had some time to think to be honest with you man and I think that ive just been looking in the wrong places.

    • @thevaccinator666
      @thevaccinator666 6 місяців тому +18

      ​@@Matthew-oe2fxExactly. I admire you for realising that. Too much cynicism and dismissal of love/romance these days. Love is the meaning of life. Much love to you. ❤

  • @Ana-rb7ws
    @Ana-rb7ws 2 роки тому +696

    Thanks again, Internet Dad. I was waiting expectantly to hear some really realistic, downright pessimistic thing that we’d probably missed the boat, but JP goes around and says something completely realistic, but not at all pessimistic thing that just says that, yes life sucks, but do the right things anyways. And sometimes life will surprise you.

    • @IsraelCountryCube
      @IsraelCountryCube 2 роки тому +2

      Apps for dating are certainly inferior dont get why anyone would get offended by that as a fact. Because you find people there which is nothing good. Id rather meet in face to face. Oh and i smell people. From far away my uncle says im weird but its all the nose i swear i dont get too close its simply the strong smell those people have as their armpits or body. Now ill try reading their minds oh wait thats an invasion of privacy nvm.

    • @tiefensucht
      @tiefensucht 2 роки тому +8

      @@IsraelCountryCube apps are for getting dates, they don't replace it. they only replace the first sight. so its the same like every other date you have in "real life". the problem is when people write weeks and maybe never date. this is not what they are made for.

    • @bsg806
      @bsg806 2 роки тому

      How stupid do you have to be not to figure out this things by yourself?

    • @Carolina-cb6hp
      @Carolina-cb6hp 2 роки тому

      I see him, like my internet dad, just like you. He helps me a lot.

    • @freshliving4199
      @freshliving4199 2 роки тому

      @@bsg806 Lets find out. What is Love?

  • @wzupppp
    @wzupppp 2 роки тому +74

    Fear of rejection is what holds most people from getting the person they want. Everyone has been rejected at least once and it can be traumatizing

    • @joshua50101
      @joshua50101 2 роки тому +12

      Once hurt twice shy. Easier to say than to do. I don't blame ppl who don't wanna get rejected over and over again. It's their choice and their lives. I send them a big hug, they are better than what meets the eye.

    • @msgirly6827
      @msgirly6827 2 роки тому

      @Marsonic lmao what an incel take. All women have never been rejected? How many days of your life have you been a woman?

    • @mikhailabunidal9146
      @mikhailabunidal9146 2 роки тому +5

      Been rejected many times throughout my life even if i wanted to be their friend they turned their backs on me and never gave a hoot about me

    • @msgirly6827
      @msgirly6827 2 роки тому

      @Marsonic ahh yes, women are the ones who have 'easymode' lmao🤣 the delusions.

    • @Feber2001
      @Feber2001 2 роки тому +9

      It is traumatizing.

  • @LittleBoxXx
    @LittleBoxXx 2 роки тому +215

    Dating sites are the worst places to find "love", especially for a guy. I recommend NOT searching for love, either online of offline. The best way to find someone is through your personal journey, meaning its best for you to focus on your career, hobbies, be a good person, and eventually you will have people attracted to you.

    • @rambutan_lychee9255
      @rambutan_lychee9255 2 роки тому +21

      You can focus on your career as well as also pursuing someone you're attracted to, but I get your point. My own philosophy is to just do it when I feel like I can take that responsibility of having a relationship with someone.

    • @Gaze73
      @Gaze73 2 роки тому +16

      Yep, I've seen people's egos shattered when they get 1 match per week.

    • @trmp9923
      @trmp9923 2 роки тому +18

      "eventually".. I'm almost 34 and a female.

    • @LittleBoxXx
      @LittleBoxXx 2 роки тому +9

      @@trmp9923 Well, my advice was for men, can't speak for women. Focusing in career is never a good idea for women, but thats just my uneducated opinion and based on my personal experience with 50 year old women that focused on career and now are lonely.

    • @peaceandhumanity5705
      @peaceandhumanity5705 Рік тому +9

      ​@@LittleBoxXx If you tell women not to focus on career, what are the chances that she'll find a 'providing alpha man'? Men are into different things some would actually prefer a woman who is focused on her career and still want to provide for her while others would want a stay at home woman...
      Don't cut yourself short just because you're trying to find somebody, be your authentic self and chase your heart's desire (if it's right for you) that way you won't end up frustrated, sad, UNFULFILLED and also 'lonely'

  • @ShowzUp5
    @ShowzUp5 2 роки тому +57

    “Maybe that’ll be good enough...” I think that line was so underrated..

    • @STANQITO299
      @STANQITO299 2 місяці тому

      The "maybe" was underrated or "good enough" was underrated?

  • @IyokuUnlimited
    @IyokuUnlimited 2 роки тому +89

    “Do what you can to be attractive to the people you want to be attracted to you” is incredible advice. I’ve had so many friends either believing they had to settle for less than they desired, or accusing those perceived out of their league as being shallow for not overlooking their (often fixable) flaws.
    You can do better! Focus on personal development to become the type of person you and others can be proud of - not only do you deserve better, but your future potential partner deserves it as well.

    • @Yusa_Beach
      @Yusa_Beach 7 місяців тому +3

      Well, although I agree with being your best self, I don't agree with deserving such a partner that is also the best, but that doesn't mean I believe I don't deserve one either.
      As for settling, everyone technically settles, no one can be "perfect" it's just a matter of what you're going to be willing to put up with or not and imo, if you aren't will to put up with people who got it bad for them, even though they haven't necessarily compromised any of the values you hold dear to you, then maybe you shouldn't have a long term partner? (Because if you can't accept the fact that people make mistakes or just aren't going to be "the best", then you're not gonna be able to truly accept anyone and nither will they.)

    • @sheherkeshorsedoor
      @sheherkeshorsedoor 7 місяців тому

      @IyokuUnlimited true

    • @Novarcharesk
      @Novarcharesk 3 місяці тому

      You can’t make yourself attractive to a demographic entirely. Because no demographic is monolithic in what it’s attracted to. Amongst gays, some men like masculine men, some like feminine men.

    • @kintsukuroi6300
      @kintsukuroi6300 2 місяці тому +1

      Why most humans think that finding romantic love/ your so call other half/twin flame etc etc is a MUST OF THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE. Certain things will not happen in your journey for instance the person that wants to be a ballet dancer but that unfortunately does not happen either due to an injury or does not get accepted to a dance school or the person that plans to be a neurosurgeon but does not get accepted to medical school; some experiences, lessons, and paths will not take place in your journey through this lifetime, and one of them could be romantic love. Many will experience other types of love but romantic love might not be in their life journey so why, why humans cannot accept that as a possibility?

    • @ThatGuy-tx4vm
      @ThatGuy-tx4vm Місяць тому

      ​@@kintsukuroi6300exactly. We are wired to desire romantic love but some of us will never get it. There is no improvement that can make an invisible man all of a sudden turn into a man married to a good wife. Never.

  • @ajessm
    @ajessm 2 роки тому +660

    Don't recommend looking for "love" online. There will be scores of people there, not always with the best of motives. Some guys just looking for sex. A better way is to enrol in a live class in a subject that interests you. That way if you meet someone, he/she is there to learn, you can also see them face to face and not behind a screen.
    You share a common interest, they are not there from ulterior motives and at the end of the day, whether you find a love interest or not, you will have learnt something and increased your knowledge base. A win-win scenario I would say.

    • @KelticTim
      @KelticTim 2 роки тому +42

      “Some guys are just looking for sex”? Brief correction, all guys are just looking for sex online.

    • @johanv247
      @johanv247 2 роки тому +107

      @@KelticTim
      omg shut up you feminist thing

    • @KelticTim
      @KelticTim 2 роки тому +26

      @@johanv247 I’m a feminist? Lmao. Why, because I know how men think? Being a man with a working libido, and knowing many others just like me is what gave me that insight, not because I’m a “feminist” (that’s a first btw, normally I’m called a misogynist) you bag of douche.

    • @johanv247
      @johanv247 2 роки тому +127

      @@KelticTim oh sorry i misunderstood you .. obviously you're not a feminist... you're just an idiot ... im a man and I'm not and was never a disgusting one that looks just for sex online... so dont generalize ... just because you and your pathetic friends are doesn't mean every man is .
      grow up man !!!!

    • @KelticTim
      @KelticTim 2 роки тому +20

      @@johanv247 oh fuck off man. Don’t white Knight me. All men think with their dicks first. Some, like you, just like to pretend you’re “one of the good ones”. Just because you’re looking for sex, and maybe a relationship too, doesn’t mean you’re an asshole or whatever, you can admit your wants and still be a good man. I’ve never personally had an online dating whatever, but after just getting out of a 10yr marriage, I’m considering it. And yes, I’ll be looking for a relationship, but only with women I’d like to have sex with, and you are too, unless you wanna keep pretending that you’d get into a relationship with a woman you don’t find sexually attractive. Go ahead and tell that lie.

  • @f.o.c681
    @f.o.c681 2 роки тому +138

    A wise man once said “who by worrying can add one cubit to his stature” “sufficient for the day is its own trouble”. He ask for your faith in him! You would be surprised what He could do for you’re worries! Add that to your message JP for the recipe of a perfect solution! Though it’s easier said than done

    • @desmonides
      @desmonides 2 роки тому +8

      All Praises to The Most High Yah
      Glory to Yahawashi Ha Maschiach
      He is Risen 🙏🏾

    • @fishofgold6553
      @fishofgold6553 2 роки тому +4

      "Surrender your affairs to me, and everything will be peaceful."
      -Jesus to Don Dolindo Ruotolo
      Look up the 'Novena of Surrender' and 'Conversation of the Merciful God With a Sinful Soul'.

  • @ohdear2275
    @ohdear2275 2 роки тому +249

    "You don't get what you don't aim at.
    You might get what you do aim at.
    And your aim might get better as you aim, as well."
    JP

    • @regulareverydayhalfbirdguy
      @regulareverydayhalfbirdguy 2 роки тому +1

      Would you be able to link to a clip of this quote, please?

    • @ohdear2275
      @ohdear2275 2 роки тому +2

      @@regulareverydayhalfbirdguy Im sorry. It's in one of his videos. I rewound it a few times to get it exactly right, so it's an exact quote. I wish I knew which video it was in. It's a great one.

    • @regulareverydayhalfbirdguy
      @regulareverydayhalfbirdguy 2 роки тому

      @@ohdear2275 That's alright, thank you for taking the time to reply, and for the quote.

    • @ohdear2275
      @ohdear2275 2 роки тому +1

      @@regulareverydayhalfbirdguy I wrote it in my journal so I was careful to get it exactly right. I've watched so many of his, I have no idea which one it is. I'm sorry.

    • @regulareverydayhalfbirdguy
      @regulareverydayhalfbirdguy 2 роки тому +1

      @@ohdear2275 No worries. Good that you have captured it.

  • @michaelcalles1124
    @michaelcalles1124 15 днів тому +1

    This guy is always sincere and well informed.

  • @joeyfigueroa4748
    @joeyfigueroa4748 2 роки тому +22

    The simplicity of this is amazing. Just be you, try, you WILL fail, move forward and keep trying and you will succeed.

    • @haveagudday8068
      @haveagudday8068 2 роки тому

      That's true 100%

    • @mcpartridgeboy
      @mcpartridgeboy 10 місяців тому

      Yeah thats not true at all, loads of guys try al their lives and dont get even a date, that bs is for women, i apologize if you are a woman as it wil happen for you 100% guaranted but if you are a guy reading this, no no it wownt definatly happen, it could well not, i know this because its happened to me and ive never had a gf in my life ! and im 45 yrs old, so no thats a load of bs

    • @Yusa_Beach
      @Yusa_Beach 7 місяців тому

      ​@@mcpartridgeboyYou have a point, but you also spit some bs there
      Being a woman does not guarantee anything, sure they're probably more likely to, but guarantee? 100%? Nah fam

    • @mcpartridgeboy
      @mcpartridgeboy 7 місяців тому

      @@Yusa_Beach ive never met one who couldnt get a date, ive never met anyone who has met one who couldnt get a date, ive been told by many women online who at first pretended they couldnt but then it turns out they had no "quality" offers, and these were women that argued hardcare that dating wasnt a gender issue ! ive never heard of one that couldnt get one even online from women who prwtend dating is hard for women ! so idk, there may be one very heavily disabled woman possiby, but its exceptionally rare !

    • @thevaccinator666
      @thevaccinator666 6 місяців тому

      ​​@@mcpartridgeboyI don't want to sound harsh but that has something to do with you, not them. Identify what's holding you back from attracting people, maybe it's your appearance or more likely your behaviour and general vibe. Then work out how to fix it, because it can be fixed, and it won't be too hard either. Do a lot of introspection about your life and how you've treated people, how you've presented yourself and how others reacted. Your attitude and worldview is also crucial. Cynicism is poisonious to both the cynic and the people he interacts with. Open your mind and your heart. Don't make excuses. I could go on but I think you get the idea. Much love to you. ❤

  • @Stl71
    @Stl71 2 роки тому +40

    In just a word, "Try". This is how everything in life works. Try and if you fail, try once again. Work, relatonships, everything. Thank you mr Peterson.

    • @mcpartridgeboy
      @mcpartridgeboy Місяць тому

      The problem with that is with women the more you try the worse results you get, but also if you dont try you also get bad results, so trying is irrelivent you need to become a good pick up artist to have any hope of getting a gf nowadays ! which is basically try but manipulate her so it looks like you are not trying which takes a hell of a lot of skill unfortunatly !

    • @luisakuhn3674
      @luisakuhn3674 Місяць тому +4

      ​@mcpartridgeboy This is the advice men give other men and it's exactly why it doesn't work out. You have no clue what woman really want and need. Stop taking advice from other guys who also don't really have a clue. Take advice from men who have been married 20+ years and know how to get and KEEP a good woman.

  • @Vikturus22
    @Vikturus22 Місяць тому +3

    I watch this and I still have the thoughts to myself “I am not good enough for anyone”. I am worried I will never be enough for someone and worried of rejection.

  • @rhodacampbell
    @rhodacampbell 2 роки тому +19

    I watch a lot of these clips. This one stands out as being just the right gentle, sweet response. Very compassionate and nice to see where there is so many harsh clips on these short videos.

  • @dominick951
    @dominick951 2 роки тому +141

    I'm 29. I'm not even looking for love at this point. Maybe having at least one girlfriend in my life would be nice

    • @nadav3695
      @nadav3695 2 роки тому +20

      I feel the pain man, but just keep moving forward, ask yourself if you're doing the best you can do to maximise the probability that a girl would go out with you and then work towards improving it.

    • @dominick951
      @dominick951 2 роки тому +43

      @@nadav3695 the only thing i can think of is being more in shape but tbf I'm not that bad
      I really have a confidence issue and have no idea how to fix it.

    • @kristenk708
      @kristenk708 2 роки тому +4

      @@dominick951 ok where can i meet you :p

    • @dominick951
      @dominick951 2 роки тому +17

      @Jhulir the two girls random girls I mean come on. Na gonna trust that. But I have been working of me being in shape. Hoping for the best

    • @brucibruce9456
      @brucibruce9456 2 роки тому +7

      @@dominick951 best of luck on ur gains, this is probably only stating the obvious but theres a lot of good vids on youtube to help you out

  • @wethole
    @wethole 2 роки тому +12

    "Maybe that'll be good enough."
    I've been trying all that for twelve years now ... it's definitely not good enough.

    • @gaby_xo907
      @gaby_xo907 Рік тому

      It’s a journey dear

    • @thedog5k
      @thedog5k 12 днів тому

      I came down with the same answer

  • @ejpaladin
    @ejpaladin 2 місяці тому +3

    I’ve found love.
    …she just didn’t love me back. She meant the world to me.
    It didn’t help that I pushed her away with my own damn insecurities…
    I really miss her. She can’t stand me now, though…

    • @jayreed9630
      @jayreed9630 18 днів тому +1

      Going through something similar

  • @dragicmagic9870
    @dragicmagic9870 2 роки тому +34

    I'm not worried that I'll never "find love," I'm just worried about being alone for the rest of my life. The problem for me is, I really don't "want" love. I don't try to put myself out there, I'm not very social, the idea of being in a relationship sounds like it'd be more stressful than fulfilling for me right now. And quite frankly I don't think I have the capability of "loving" people who aren't my family. But this comes with the price of being forever alone.

    • @HungryTacoBoy
      @HungryTacoBoy 2 роки тому +11

      My fear is that I'll die old and alone, with no one that cares for me and my existence a memory that the world quickly forgets.
      A relationship currently sounds like a bad idea because I don't want to subject anyone to being with me.
      Edit: I should clarify that it's a part of me that thinks and feels this way, not my whole being. This part of me can be quite loud and convincing, though, drowning out the more optimistic, positive, hopeful parts.

    • @alinpetrescu2309
      @alinpetrescu2309 2 роки тому +4

      I, I, I. You're only talking about yourself

    • @Dimchek970
      @Dimchek970 2 роки тому +5

      @@alinpetrescu2309 not exactly a solution, but it is important for him/her to notice all those I's.
      Its a step in the right direction. Love and relationships are two way streets. It's not always comfortable or exactly by your wishes and needs, but when the realization that you just woke up and you're not alone and actually have someone hits you, it's an irreplaceable feeling that sticks with you.
      There are assholes out there though, ngl

    • @dragicmagic9870
      @dragicmagic9870 2 роки тому +7

      @@alinpetrescu2309 who else am I gonna talk about, I'm not in anyone else's body 😑

    • @ishiishi7351
      @ishiishi7351 2 роки тому +1

      Gonna tell u straigt, u'll be alone like this

  • @vaishnavnegi9640
    @vaishnavnegi9640 2 роки тому +7

    Rather than trying to find love, try to nurture it with people you know. Love is developed over long periods of time. People often misattribute attraction for love. Attraction is ephemeral, love is resilient. It can endures a lot before it actually fades.

  • @burnerjack01
    @burnerjack01 2 роки тому +7

    You don't find love. You give it. The rest will take care of itself.

    • @samanthathompson9812
      @samanthathompson9812 3 місяці тому +3

      Not necessarily, and that has to be ok.

    • @doleydoley3499
      @doleydoley3499 2 місяці тому

      ​@@samanthathompson9812yes and that maybe good enough

  • @chelsea9493
    @chelsea9493 18 днів тому

    My first love at 14 I will never get over. I'm now 33 and I haven't been trying for this person but we still talk and check on each other here and there. I love how successful he has become and hated the people that hurt him. I wish he wasn't so far away so I can hug him

  • @zensvlognotapro
    @zensvlognotapro 26 днів тому

    Be brave to show up , to connect but with good intentions😊

  • @MrDai_
    @MrDai_ 2 роки тому +13

    Don't chase love, money or success. Become the best version of you and those things will chase you.

    • @lamefuqq6985
      @lamefuqq6985 9 місяців тому +6

      The fuck does this even mean

    • @lamefuqq6985
      @lamefuqq6985 8 місяців тому

      @@DwayneGoggins no way man! Never figured that!

    • @Yusa_Beach
      @Yusa_Beach 7 місяців тому +1

      ​@@lamefuqq6985I guess it means to do what you want to do, so if you want to find love, to which what you define it as someone who cares for you a lot and is willing to also experience intimacy with you then do what needs to be done.

    • @lamefuqq6985
      @lamefuqq6985 7 місяців тому +1

      @@Yusa_Beach cool

  • @lk8300
    @lk8300 2 роки тому +11

    I was single for so long being introverted and cheated on at the end of high school and not having many reliable social circles basically non existing. So when I finally met someone I liked I didn't know what to Do. Did I forget how to fall in love again or was I too scared to even consider my feelings. Not until she left Australia back to her home in Japan almost 12 months ago did I realize my mistake. Next time I will remember not to let go so easily

    • @mcpartridgeboy
      @mcpartridgeboy 10 місяців тому +2

      idk know man ive got autism and i thought the same thing so i got clingy and that puts women off way quicker than being nonchelant about her leaving !

  • @nodzzzz155
    @nodzzzz155 21 день тому

    Most realistic advice given EVER!!

  • @henrychinaski8686
    @henrychinaski8686 2 роки тому +2

    The amount of lives this man saved and improved... he is the hero we dont deserve but we badly needet

  • @thcseppuku1418
    @thcseppuku1418 2 роки тому +40

    Hey Jordan you are awesome and we are bigger than any obstacle in this world. Be it withdrawal or loneliness

  • @derbigpr500
    @derbigpr500 2 роки тому +2

    I'm not worried about it, because I know it will never happen, so worrying is pointless.

  • @Ego208
    @Ego208 2 роки тому +1

    I love how he admits the uncertainty of it but assures us that we'll regret if we don't try.

  • @Lesley.h
    @Lesley.h 2 роки тому +6

    That’s beautiful. I love how you simply explain things that everyone can understand. We hope….

  • @angelbryan98
    @angelbryan98 2 роки тому +5

    This man is very nice. I really don't get why some people hate him.

  • @KavlosteMeViagra
    @KavlosteMeViagra Рік тому +6

    So is creating a profile on dating apps/social media the right way? NOPE, not at all. It's only gonna lead you to worse depression. You just have to get over the fact 1.that love is subjective and it's not everything 2.Sometimes looking for love is the worse thing you can do, the more you try the more suffering without results 3.Love is overrated, you might not be as fulfilled as you think anyway after you find someone. CONCLUSION: live your life as if love doesn't exist. Ask yourself: what would I do if I didn't care about love? Would I go to that trip? Would I take on this hobby? Would I hang out with these people? If the answer is no, STOP. You are desperately looking for love in the wrong places. Love MIGHT find you but you must first stop trying so hard

  • @TicTacmann
    @TicTacmann 2 роки тому

    that... THAT is smth I kinda needed to hear 😒 give it time, wait, act anyways instead of resigning

  • @shawn9635
    @shawn9635 2 місяці тому

    Really good advice friend, Thanks

  • @javiersds8081
    @javiersds8081 2 роки тому +4

    A down-to-earth and straightforward answer. I love it.

  • @Dialogos1989
    @Dialogos1989 2 роки тому +69

    If you’re trying to find love, go to a hopeless place. That’s where Rihanna found her true love, her umbrella.

    • @chickentikka7890
      @chickentikka7890 2 роки тому +3

      Wouldn't take advice from that witch

    • @ayushsahoo6022
      @ayushsahoo6022 2 роки тому +2

      I think thats kinda true since people who have nothing will aprreciate something more than how normal people do

  • @emmaacosta8679
    @emmaacosta8679 15 днів тому

    I choose to stay alone. I prioritize my peace and well being. ❤

  • @nohalfmeasures6
    @nohalfmeasures6 2 роки тому +17

    Those who worry they will never find love typically have more worry than drive in their life. I love his advice, increase your probabilities and embrace the struggle as part of life.

  • @helios001
    @helios001 2 роки тому +3

    I'd say that step one is to love yourself unconditionally, while working towards making yourself the best best version of you that you can be.

    • @MrCmon113
      @MrCmon113 2 роки тому +2

      Just become enlightened, bruh.

  • @Nom1fan
    @Nom1fan 2 роки тому +7

    I've been doing everything you said for many years now my dear Dr. Peterson. I have a job I'm proud of (software engineer), I just bought a lovely apartment at a great neighborhood, I try to eat right and exercise regularly. I'm not amazing looking but I put effort into it. I'm 34, a bit above average height and quite lean/muscular. I play the guitar and read books and have many other interests.
    I've dated hundreds of women by now. That's not a brag. I haven't gotten into sexual intimacy with any but a few. Those I really wanted did not want me back. I try not to fall for all the obvious traps like showing I'm too enthusiastic too soon, or anything like that. I always pick the lady up from home and bring her back, pay for the date or put effort with good wine and fruit if it's a park date and basically try my best to be a gentleman.
    Still alone and don't know what to do anymore :(

    • @JS-vo3ok
      @JS-vo3ok 2 роки тому +3

      Maybe you put too much effort into the dates. Just decide where you meet (don't pick her up and bring her back home) and split the bill. Or just go for drinks that's cheaper and sometimes more fun. I think there are hardly any women who appreciate this "Gentleman" like behaviour.

    • @Nom1fan
      @Nom1fan 2 роки тому +4

      @@JS-vo3ok In my country most ladies don't own cars, some even don't have a driver's license. Those who do, do not use it much. It's pretty rare to see one that does. So in most cases I didn't even have a choice about picking them up. Also, splitting the bill is considered very taboo and most ladies will see it as a deal breaker if a guy even hints at it. So those are not the issues, it's just a cultural thing here in general, it's not just me.

    • @Nom1fan
      @Nom1fan 2 роки тому

      @@Dimitris_Balf ...? Huh?

    • @SS-pq9ci
      @SS-pq9ci 2 роки тому +3

      "I've very attractive, I've dated hundreds of women, but I'm still alone."
      Yeah, right.

    • @Nom1fan
      @Nom1fan 2 роки тому +1

      @@Dimitris_Balf it's literally my life.. what exactly am I lying about so "obviously"?
      Also why would I lie? I'm saying I'm miserable in case you didn't notice. Why would anyone lie about being miserable?

  • @Pablo-V
    @Pablo-V 2 роки тому +2

    I've never been so reassured about not finding love in just one minute, masterfully done

  • @slugnaholowaa7406
    @slugnaholowaa7406 28 днів тому

    God bless you. You make me feel less insane.

  • @jasoncummings7052
    @jasoncummings7052 2 роки тому +9

    It would be hard to find love in a loveless world.

    • @dontreply69
      @dontreply69 8 місяців тому +3

      Facts. Love is just temporary lust.

    • @mcpartridgeboy
      @mcpartridgeboy Місяць тому

      n its hard for men to find love, women get literally thosands of offers of love every week some thosands every day, women have literally never had it so easy in their entire history of humanoity lol, so its only hard for all men ! for all women its easier than ordering pizza ! literally !

  • @crom1701
    @crom1701 2 роки тому +6

    I've accepted it.

  • @dariusburkeofficial
    @dariusburkeofficial 2 місяці тому

    Hearing him talk about this gives me hope.

  • @soralucis
    @soralucis 2 роки тому +1

    Damn. What a fucking dad. Love you, JP ❤

  • @liuxe997
    @liuxe997 Рік тому +2

    Well it won't be good enough...

  • @FluffyBunny9002
    @FluffyBunny9002 2 роки тому +30

    I think I enjoy being single (been about 18 months) after 19 years of not being single, but I do get lonely from time to time. The thing is, I am now 35 and not getting any younger and I wonder if this single life is sustainable, or if I'll grow old and regret not trying to get back out there, because I'm not trying to date anymore. Is this normal?

    • @mat7083
      @mat7083 2 роки тому +4

      I have that same concern. I think it’s because of the fact that we do grow old and die that feelings of loneliness come up from time to time.
      Suppose we were immortal and that we can neither age nor die. Would us single Pringles be content staying single? Would we feel those same bouts of loneliness as frequently as you would right now? I argue we’ll eventually get lonely, but used to this feeling over time. We’ll likely just become more bored than lonely, wouldn’t you say? Not something we humans can’t handle. Emotions are natural, but another fabric weaved into the human condition.
      If you feel that you’re better off single despite your worries, then you will have no problem staying so in a hundred or thousand years. But, if you feel that cashing in a relationship is actually more fulfilling, go for it while you’re in the here and now.
      What you’re feeling is normal, but there’s a saying when engaging in anything: “If you drink water, remember the source.”

    • @ponternal
      @ponternal 2 роки тому +8

      Growing old is pretty shit no matter what you do. My older neighbor who was in a happy marriage and has kids had to see his wife slowly decline and die in front of him. Truth is everyone dies horribly and if you are lucky you will have loved ones around to watch you suffer.

    • @TLongUSA97
      @TLongUSA97 2 роки тому +13

      @@ponternal what a cynical and horrible outlook on aging. I feel sorry for you bud, you sound miserable. Men get better with age as long as you put in the work. Women only need to worry about having children in time. Aging is a beautiful process if you played your cards right, I’m assuming you haven’t. Not everyone dies horribly. Lots of people die peacefully in their sleep, in the arms of a loved one, etc. Get help.

    • @zielonazpigwa8274
      @zielonazpigwa8274 2 роки тому +8

      @@TLongUSA97 I don’t think it’s cynical. I think he’s right, maybe not for all but majority of us will suffer at some point in life and lose loved ones. Some of us are/will be lucky enough to age graciously but some are and will be suffering. Stop calling people miserable because they don’t romanticise getting old and dying!

    • @nitariady2600
      @nitariady2600 2 роки тому +7

      People can get lonely even being married or having friends. Its not about being just single. But know that God will never leave you nor forsake you if you believe in Jesus. Don’t date if you believe its not for you. Even if you change your mind 20yrs later, there are still opportunities to meet someone special for you. It just sounded that you had a past that can be addressed, seek help if needed. Once you are healed then you are ready to be out there for that special one at the right time. Just enjoy each day God gives!

  • @liliankk6149
    @liliankk6149 Рік тому +1

    You are not alone feel comforted

  • @auraveenley.8743
    @auraveenley.8743 Місяць тому +1

    Youre very loveable dr.Peterson.😮

  • @kissmegoodbyenow
    @kissmegoodbyenow Місяць тому +4

    I did this and regret it heavily now because my heart breaks every day. I became vulnerable with someone for once and only got hurt and now am afraid to get back out there.

  • @monolithic7739
    @monolithic7739 2 роки тому +4

    This is the best dating advice I think I've ever found on UA-cam. I've never personally found it "difficult" but there's so many videos and channels on this platform that tailor to helping people find these secrets, but this is just as simple as it is. You gotta love yourself first or you won't have anything to offer another. Then, baby steps...

  • @Killgore52
    @Killgore52 2 роки тому +4

    Simple but good advice for everyone! And a very positive outlook. Thank you JP!

    • @dn1697
      @dn1697 2 роки тому +1

      ... ... all flawed advice ... JP admits himself that attraction is unknown ... so finding love outside of family, through biased groups and people without your best interests is unsurprisingly vague ...

    • @Killgore52
      @Killgore52 2 роки тому +1

      @@dn1697 So don't put yourself out there, improve yourself? I disagree with you. Anything you can do to make yourself look better will not hurt you.

    • @dn1697
      @dn1697 2 роки тому

      @@Killgore52 ... I'm definitely out there .... in Spain from England without language skills ... turned my life upside down ... more complex that can be articulated on here.

  • @drtroyturner7464
    @drtroyturner7464 Рік тому +2

    Don't worry. Be happy. Bobby McFerrin

  • @freddiemoller3692
    @freddiemoller3692 2 роки тому +2

    I’m so glad this man exists

  • @gabrielballkid8121
    @gabrielballkid8121 2 роки тому +46

    I love this guy his smart kind and really wants to make the world I’m so totally jealous of his wife lol

  • @nikkijackson2981
    @nikkijackson2981 2 роки тому +15

    Them brows thooooo.! ;)

    • @taylorb4119
      @taylorb4119 2 роки тому +1

      You should see my brows and lashes you would fall in love 😍

    • @nikkijackson2981
      @nikkijackson2981 2 роки тому +2

      @@taylorb4119 JP would be great in a Dracula movie with those bad boys ;)

    • @taylorb4119
      @taylorb4119 2 роки тому +2

      @@nikkijackson2981 Hahaha!! Definitely!! ;)

  • @fabiofanucci
    @fabiofanucci 19 днів тому

    Jordan, you perfectly know that many will not get any love. You completely know that selection must do its job, otherwise we wouldn't be here.

  • @phj223
    @phj223 2 роки тому +1

    Just accept that you will never find love, and stop worrying.

  • @lapeaches8006
    @lapeaches8006 2 роки тому +7

    Jordan Peterson's tone is like: "🙄😒" He's sick of y'all's shit about "love" 😂💞

  • @socialmediawisdom22
    @socialmediawisdom22 2 роки тому +3

    I love you Professor Peterson! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @korosuke1788
    @korosuke1788 2 роки тому +1

    What has worked for me is seeing every relationship as an iteration, as you would do to solve a mathematical problem. Some get it right the first time. Some get it right the 100th time. Don't rush it, but do stick to your own goals and time limits. Falling in love is easy. What is hard is getting over it before trying again while also trying to keep balance in your life.

  • @xertiasstrat8957
    @xertiasstrat8957 2 роки тому

    If i m too sad and too ugly i ll really never find love

  • @differentone_p
    @differentone_p 2 роки тому +6

    I can find love, but this love won't be the one i want. This is the problem. My love is too idealized, I guess.

  • @gogetit1431
    @gogetit1431 2 роки тому +3

    This was so deep on so many levels...🤔

  • @jadeayla7548
    @jadeayla7548 9 місяців тому

    "You act in spite of your worry" 👏🏻

  • @lucymo1684
    @lucymo1684 Місяць тому

    This is funny😂, simplistic and straight to the point. Love it 😅

  • @uuuummm9
    @uuuummm9 2 роки тому +3

    damn, i am already doing all that and still worry i won't find my love... i am 39 soon...

  • @steampowered6883
    @steampowered6883 2 роки тому +10

    It looks as though I'm going to lose my fiancée. The Algorithm is definitely on point!

    • @hermitkrab792
      @hermitkrab792 2 роки тому

      How you feeling bro?

    • @steampowered6883
      @steampowered6883 2 роки тому +3

      @@hermitkrab792 Broken, yet determined, if that makes any sense.
      I just have to take these lessons with me and build a better tomorrow out of them.

    • @Feber2001
      @Feber2001 2 роки тому +1

      It's situations like these that make me happy I'm single. Yeah, I have a cynical view.... but, that "view" is protecting me from the pain that comes from betrayal, heartbreak, and even trauma. Shitty relationships can certainly be traumatizing. I don't know if I want to take that risk again..

    • @steampowered6883
      @steampowered6883 2 роки тому +1

      @@Feber2001 I'd say roll with the punches and push forward. Family is too important to give up on. (Not to say that you can't find fulfillment down other paths)

    • @Feber2001
      @Feber2001 2 роки тому

      @@steampowered6883 Your view is too optimistic and bound for failure.... at least for me. I don't want to get betrayed again. I've been in therapy for a year because of it. I don't think I can handle another heartbreak like that

  • @deswill2737
    @deswill2737 2 роки тому +2

    YOU are all YOU need

  • @jukkaahonen6557
    @jukkaahonen6557 Місяць тому

    I deepened my spiritual life and I no longer worry about finding love. I have peace.

  • @jpjp9111
    @jpjp9111 2 роки тому +6

    Those things never worked for me.
    Then there came a stalker that wouldn't leave me the hell alone.

    • @JoeMama69xx
      @JoeMama69xx 2 роки тому

      God I wish that were me..

    • @toomuchinformation
      @toomuchinformation 2 роки тому +1

      @@JoeMama69xx You WANT a stalker?

    • @JoeMama69xx
      @JoeMama69xx 2 роки тому

      @@toomuchinformation Of course, it is my only true dream

    • @toomuchinformation
      @toomuchinformation 2 роки тому +1

      @@JoeMama69xx Well, they're less likely to kill you, so that must help.

    • @JoeMama69xx
      @JoeMama69xx 2 роки тому

      @@toomuchinformation So you're telling me there's a chance..

  • @brokemono
    @brokemono 2 роки тому +4

    Does my computer count? I clean it every 2 months, I don't bloat it, I make sure to delete trash files, I don't overclock it too much and I also upgrade it every couple years so we together can keep up with the games that challenge us. Granted, I overuse it sometimes I give it time for itself when I'm at work or out with friends. It's perfect and it's enough for me, for now.

  • @Libervation
    @Libervation 11 місяців тому

    I prefer the idea of realizing love than "finding it". True love is already there, but the heart must be open to understand that.

  • @simpleliving4205
    @simpleliving4205 6 місяців тому +1

    That was so heartfelt and sweet

  • @sridharvaishnava9003
    @sridharvaishnava9003 2 роки тому +6

    Wow as simple as that.
    I ll come back and watch this again everyday.
    Hoping to find love or even good friends

  • @die4race
    @die4race 2 роки тому +10

    Love yourself first , Work out , stay healthy , educate yourself , set goals in your life...and someone outthere will love to live with you

    • @mmors
      @mmors 2 роки тому +9

      I do all of those and I'm still single, I'm tired of it

    • @robertoorsi3203
      @robertoorsi3203 2 роки тому +7

      Unfortunately even if you do all those things, love may not come. Still, it is better if you do those things.

    • @joshua50101
      @joshua50101 2 роки тому +2

      Travel overseas and someone will hold you in high steem the moment you put yourself out there. Western society is doomed. 🤮🤮🤮

    • @rooster555555
      @rooster555555 2 роки тому

      @@mmors ur doing it wrong

    • @mmors
      @mmors 2 роки тому +3

      @@rooster555555 how? I workout 4 times a week and meal prep all my food its actually one of my passions i have set and reached multiple financial and career goals for myself and i have many more that i wanna achieve in the future, I'm always learning and looking for ways to learn a new skill or get better at something, I actually love the person I've become and am excited to see what I'll do with my future, how am I doing it wrong?

  • @RicksportalgunC137
    @RicksportalgunC137 17 днів тому

    yesss people don’t get a huge part of finding “the one” is also being a person that someone else can look at as the one. yes falling in love isn’t something you can control etc but someone in their right mind isn’t going to wanna be with you if u don’t have ur shit together

  • @Loverofartsandmusic
    @Loverofartsandmusic Рік тому

    Thank you for validating my worries right now 😭😭😭

  • @PennyisBananas
    @PennyisBananas Рік тому +9

    “And maybe that (love) will be good enough.” Damn. Sadly, the dating app culture has screwed with any “good enough” theory. 😢

    • @englishmenintown8622
      @englishmenintown8622 6 місяців тому

      It's mostly hook up culture and believe it or not we not all into that.

  • @IRosamelia
    @IRosamelia 2 роки тому +2

    Mr. Peterson has clearly never been at the online dating scene 🙃

  • @kottonstream9119
    @kottonstream9119 День тому

    The real worry should be - I’m worried I will never love myself as much as the need for someone else’s love .

  • @johnshorba
    @johnshorba 2 роки тому +1

    Simple solutions are sometimes all we need

  • @KozueMegami
    @KozueMegami 2 роки тому +18

    I gave up on that myth a long time ago. I find my solitude peaceful for the most part.

    • @hermitkrab792
      @hermitkrab792 2 роки тому

      At least you have your dog, assuming it's yours anyway lol

    • @KozueMegami
      @KozueMegami 2 роки тому +1

      @@hermitkrab792 she was my daughter for 15yrs. Love of my life

    • @webstime1
      @webstime1 2 роки тому

      @@KozueMegami so you failed to find love?

    • @user-qe7bt9dz1l
      @user-qe7bt9dz1l 2 роки тому +1

      Quitters never win and winners never quit. Always remember that. We live in a world of constant maintenance, you’re either evolving or deteriorating. I could tell by the way you speak, you possess a lot of stubbornness so I wouldn’t be surprised if you don’t listen to me.

    • @homie7218
      @homie7218 2 роки тому

      @@user-qe7bt9dz1l No-one evolves after 60

  • @DomPatek
    @DomPatek 2 роки тому +3

    Nah, dating sites will only knock you down even further if you're an average looking male. It all basically boils down to looks or power (i.e. money) and if you don't have one of these, you're fucked. That's why my only wish is to forget it all and find some sort of comfort in being alone, no matter how bleak and depressing such a life may seem.

    • @Virru112
      @Virru112 2 роки тому +1

      not at all... but if you look for someone who is similar to you then you will find someone. Some will indeed get more chances but all you need is one right. You have to be in it to win it, if you leave the game early then you've already lost. Sometimes we over shoot and that can be an issue also, we all have to be realistic.

  • @Dave_the_Wave5888
    @Dave_the_Wave5888 3 місяці тому +2

    I've just met a very special person. Its very early days , but my intuition is already telling me this is gonna be for the long haul. 35 years old, thought i'd never love again. Thought I'd never get married. Now the possibilities seem boundless all of a sudden. Cos I took action. Thank you Jordan for your priceless advice ❤

  • @ryonious4564
    @ryonious4564 2 роки тому +3

    Just give it

  • @Mikey-nz6de
    @Mikey-nz6de 2 роки тому +6

    i don't think you can call it true love when she/he falls for your money or good looking. the feels that are inside are matter.

    • @notatalljokinglymockingyou112
      @notatalljokinglymockingyou112 2 роки тому +3

      hmm,,,unfortunately people start to love people outside in.....rare cases hv been seen the other way around

  • @rababkhursheed
    @rababkhursheed 2 роки тому +1

    Thanks Dad

  • @camden7806
    @camden7806 2 роки тому

    Put yourself in order first

  • @MarkanVaran7
    @MarkanVaran7 2 роки тому +6

    Im 24 years old however I believe Im quite mature and understand how life works. Heres the brutal truth. You are alone in this world, you are born alone and you die alone. World is cruel and cold and its you against everyone. Its getting worse because its getting more competitive but not in a good way. I tried to get a girlfriend for the past 3 years, I approached roughly 60 girls and I couldnt get a date with one of them. I never had a girlfriend and I never had a kiss. To be honest the older I get I just dont care anymore. I serve my own purpose and I try to improve myself with each passing day. I stand up and fight for myself. Im only 24 but I feel like a real man. I dont care what anyone thinks. I love me and I will love myself the most until I die cause nobody else will.

    • @conner8400
      @conner8400 2 роки тому +6

      Sounds like you’ve decided to give up and be stubborn in your misery. Hope someone manages to change your mind on that someday, it’s a sad mindset to be in.

    • @MarkanVaran7
      @MarkanVaran7 2 роки тому +3

      @@conner8400 Im just realistic brother

    • @kristenk708
      @kristenk708 2 роки тому +3

      You sound like a good guy. Please don't close your heart to other people and the possibility to find real love, because it will happen! So happy to hear that at 24 you are mature and want to find a relationship. My advice is to keep your heart open, give love and love will find you!

  • @Adama.1
    @Adama.1 2 роки тому +3

    I did have a girl in my life once but before it became anything serious I messed it up because I was so paranoid. I had such low self esteem that I literally could not believe she was with me because she liked me. I basically lost my mind. thought she was sleeping with other guys or making fun of me behind my back. I got angry at her often basically accusing her of such things. Never said it directly but just went on and on about her male friends and stuff like that. She didn't want to put up with it anymore. That was 3 years ago. I still miss her sometimes, and I am still convinced I will never find love.
    I literally met her through discord believe it or not, she started talking to me. We met up and spend only about 3 months seeing eachother regularly. I still don't know why or how she was attracted to me. And such a chance encounter is insanely rare. I basically threw away the only oppertunity I had or ever will have to have a partner.

  • @Canadian_Eh_I
    @Canadian_Eh_I 2 роки тому

    What a way to put in at the end. So matter of factly true. "Maybe you'll find someone who loves you about as much as you love them." Gotta let that sink in...

  • @Mr.M1STER
    @Mr.M1STER 2 роки тому

    Worrying only makes the thing you are worrying about seem worse or less obtainable. Find a way to worry less and all of those things that you once worried so much about will fall into place and you will realise that worrying is a waste of your time.

  • @vicvinegar4540
    @vicvinegar4540 2 роки тому +14

    I will genuinely never find love.

    • @mikhailabunidal9146
      @mikhailabunidal9146 2 роки тому

      Same
      Probably might die alone and nobody will miss me when i grow old and it's my time to die

    • @oscarmontesan0
      @oscarmontesan0 2 роки тому +4

      @@mikhailabunidal9146 Dont ever think that, there is always hope! Even in the darkest of times!

    • @courtney8475
      @courtney8475 2 роки тому +1

      Vic Vinegar, I have similar fear but I prefer to keep my hopes high.

    • @vicvinegar4540
      @vicvinegar4540 2 роки тому

      @@courtney8475 You should. Dont be like me and abandon hope. Stay positive