What’s worse is when the straight guy flirts with you too and acts all interested. Then one day you find out that he’s dating one of your female friends. My advice would be that at the first hint that you’re crushing on a straight guy, ignore him like the plague. It will only end up in heartbreak.
I totally agree with you on this since I've exactly had the same feelings toward one of my straight friends that I've had. We were almost close friends to each other for more than one and half year and what I couldn't believe in the end was when most of the times got this feeling from him that maybe he also have interests in me and it seems he's not gonna make me stop by putting a harsh comment on my feelings toward him in a serious way and he was kinda always open about such a relationship (not always but most of the times he was really interested in such topics and my sexual orientation except at some occassions where he tried to make me convinced that he's straight, kinda keep talking about women's genitalia and this stuff to kinda make me understand I'm not the type of person he's looking for) but what really interested me about him was his desire for getting closer to me at some points where I was kinda unable to figute this out that was it for sending me some signals or kinda trying to compensate for something else that he's done to kinda keep the relationship as positive as it was. It was really hard for me to distinguish and you know when I realized that? Yeah, I realized it when it was kinda too late to recover... When he actually left me forever. He was actually my coworker and also my close friend. So he had to get back to his city and his own family and after he returned to his hometown, that was the moment I realized cold messages from him on social media. The only possible way for communication between me and him was social media after it. It really kinda broke me from inside when I tried to make him understand about his situation and our close friendship (When I say close friendship, I don't actually mean having intercourse with him. Just to make it clear for the readers!) As a result, I agree with you on this. I don't honestly recommend such a relationship between a straight person and a gay guy to anyone. How can a straight person really fall in love with a gay person. It only reminds me of things such as abuse and something like that. Let's not fool each other. They can't honestly get connected to each other emotionally after a while and it's always gonna be the straight person leaving the gay person alone since the number of gay people in each society is much less than straight people so it's always gonna be the straight guy playing hard to get. It's so fucked up! There's nothing interesting for you to read here if you're waiting for something special or some formula I tell you to fix this sh!t. 🙂
@@Matin1999_uniqueWhat should i do i have a crush on my straight friend (he have a gf) but he knows that used to read BL manga and all he even add me on his close friend in insta 😭✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻. Im very talkative in phone but i barely talk irl. He used to talk to me but i used to ignore him cause im too shy 💀AND HE STOPPED TALKING TO ME AND USED TO IGNORE ME. But im going to apologize on his birthday :) even tho im very shy talking to him. Should i stawp crushing him? BUT ITS GONNA BE SO HARD 😭. (TRY TO UNDERSTAND MY ENGLISH 💀)
My advice is to move on and meet other guys. If you have feeling for them yes let them know. Give them a compliment whenever you get a chance so that they know you’re into them. You might end up making a good friend or loosing them. If you loose them it’s fine move on and think of it as trial and error. Eventually you’ll sooner than later meet some cool guys who are gay friendly. The only thing with straight men is that they’re like wild horses if you capture one they might not be there forever so enjoy the moment. With that said just have fun, live and explore and most importantly don’t dwell on someone who’s not willing to show love. ✌🏽
There is a line in the movie He's Just Not That Into You which says that "..if a guy is into you, he will make it happen.." I have found this pearl of wisdom to be true more than once. STEPS FOR DEALING WITH A STRAIGHT GUY: 1) Avoid him at all costs. (If he is into you, then he will come find you and ask why you have been avoiding him. If not, then he's not interested) 2) When he comes to find you, respectfully let him know about your attraction to men. See how he reacts. 3) Get busy living your life. Keep avoiding him. Allow time to pass. One day, out of the blue, you will get a phone call, email, or text from him asking you to hang out. If not, move on. The main thing is to let him know that you are into guys, and that you know how to keep your mouth shut about anything that happens between you.
Best advice...Drive home...pack up your stuff and move to a different city. Start a new life... live happily ever after. I’m not saying this to hurt you in any way, you are beautiful and I would hate to see you get hurt. I’m sure many of us have been there. It’s a different type of pain you don’t want to experience.
I am currently going through the same situation. My crush and I are officemates. He's so nice to everyone to the extent that he gives snacks. I thought I was special 'cause he gave me a separate pack apart from what he gave to our colleagues. I added him on FB, he PMed right away. We chatted. Some of our colleagues say that it's obvious that I'm crushing on him. I always remind myself that he is straight and he likes girls. And I'm not a girl. So there's that. It just sucks that my brain and my heart are collaborating with making this "what ifs" that he'll fall for me, too. I hate crushing on someone let alone loving someone.
There is nothing more selfish than a gay guy with a "I want him" attitude. My heart pounds out of my chest every time I see my straight best mate and has done for 20 years, and yes he would be an ideal partner, however, I love and respect him on a deeper level by accepting that we live different lives. Real love is selfless and has no boundaries or obstacles
The respect needs to go both ways. Not only to him but to yourself as well. If the friendship is fine and you can live with the emotions is what's important.
Yah what r u fr ? He should at least acknawladge an apreciate the fact that u fell for him give u the most pasionant kiss u deserve an then tells u im soorry i cant make my self love u that way if he want too this often works like majic beleive me ull forget about him by the next moorning w t f u telling me u havent been treated by him that way for 20y this man has no sens of love
booksyn what if he was also actually having the same feeling to you but you didnt know it? It happends a lot in a gay friendship. Sometime we cant tell whether our friend is also a gay or just an open minded
Is it because your happy as a girl your making such comments But sorry to say some people in life plays games and you don't know his circumstances just hope your partner is not living double life hey
@PUPPY WING my friend is also fine with it and treats me no different. He agreed to distance ourselves a bit (we were chatting daily) but i still hang out with him 2-3 times a week and the distancing has made things easier as I appreciate his friendship a lot more rather than hoping for anything else. It really all comes down to the type of friendship the two people have..
@PUPPY WING I think I'm lucky too. My story is a bit complicated. I just did confess love to my friend not long ago. it took me a long while to have the courage being afraid our friendship would be ruined. I thought I fell in love with him just a few days after I met him, but I knew it was impossible so I tried my best not to develop my feelings for him. He was always nice to me. We hung out often like bros. Every time we went out to drink, he always ended up with a girl and when he couldn't really find one, he would pay for a prostitute as his sexual desire is really strong. One day last month we were drinking at my home, we became a bit drunk he suddenly asked me "Are you a bit gay?". I didn't know why he asked and wanted to tell him I am fully gay but I nodded without saying anything. He then said he knows it and so is he. And that gave me a lot of hopes. At some point I teased him by telling him to Prove it. He then helped me masturbate and kissed my penis but nothing else happened. It was really unexpected. I thought things already turned to be in my favor. But when I touched his, it wasn't erected at all. I knew right away he did it because he was drunk and we were so close. I'll still have to hold my feelings until one night we got very drunk again. I cried like a pu**y and told him "I hope this wouldn't discontinue our friendship but I think I'm gay and I love you" he replied that he loves me too and we're still friends". I was a good feeling to get it off my chest. I told him I really meant it and I liked it when he gave me a hand job back then at my home. I also feel like helping him and even sucking him, he then let me do it but it took so long till he got hard. I had to play a straight porn for him till he finished. I was very worried after he went home that he would never contact me again because of what happened. Surprisingly he texted me to hang out again the next day. However this time he said he would bring 2 paid girls and one is for me. I know he is straight and not disgusted of who I am. He loves me as a bro. I am happy for that. But it's like he thinks I am just confused and is trying to convert me to be straight though it's not possible. I didn't have any choice but to go along. Until now I only managed to have sex with only 1 girl he took for me and I failed the other times. However, he still calls me almost everyday and we still hang out together. I help him get girls sometimes because he is a foreigner and can't read Thai scripts. When we get drunk, he still played like before touching my penis when pissing next to him. But I found out he wouldn't do it or let me touch his penis when sober unlike before. I even seriously asked him a few times whether he would still be friend with me if I'm really gay. He said yes tho. I know my crush on him is impossible but at least I'm lucky enough that he still accepts me even with a lot of clues of my being gay, at least until now.
Just sharing this...I also have a crush on someone who I think is straight. I told him I have a crush on him and that I don't expect anything from him because I know it's very unlikely that he likes/will like me. Even so, I may not expect anything from him but I want him to also like me, there's a difference. After I told him I like him he just said "ohhhhh" and then "thanks?" Which left me devastated gurl like he fvcking said "thanks?" with a "?" gurl I CAN'T...then after that I stirred the conversation, switched the topic so that at the end of the day he can easily forget that another man confessed on him that 'he' likes him. We're still friends and I like him even more. He's just so genuine and so honest and very quirky and talented and he has social life, he do sports, sleeps 6-8 hours a day, he can balance school and leisure like he's soooo perfect deary, he's a bit cold but I enjoy that cuz I think it's warm. Deary it's so hard. It's so FUCKING HARD to love someone that doesn't love you, it's suffocating but you like it because the lack of air makes you high...Deary why?!! But I still like him, I love him, in fact. And will still love him until it fades...until it fades because I know I will forget how I feel about him, it's how my mind works you know. BUT WHAT MATTERS NOW IS I LOVE HIM. Okay, that's all. Thank you for reading ❤
This is great advice! This concern has been ruling my life for 2 years now, and I appear to be giving in to these fantasies --and it's so tedious! Great advice! I need to look at this video every morning!
Marc, your advice was right on the mark! Every gay guy is going to have crushes throughout his life on straight friends. 90-something percent of the guys we meet are not boyfriend material. Maybe at night, we can have him in our fantasy. But by day, we should enjoy our platonic friendships. And work on finding a great gay guy who we can really be lovers and partners with.
And you're also right that you shouldn't TELL him. He knows you're gay and you like him. No need to say it out loud and make things awkward... or possibly hurt the friendship.
@@SEFR7337i know what it feels like because i got turned on by a male cousin of a school friend while he wasn't with his girlfriend. But we're really close like brothers
I have been through this before going through it a 2nd time currently. To this day I am still amazing friends with the first same sex straight friend. The 2nd and current crush is a friend I just met months ago. The chemistry of our friendship was just amazing like I never felt so close to someone as a friend and felt like I knew them for a lifetime already and know that we both just understand and respect each other. This time I got it over with right away and told him I was bisexual and that he is an amazing person. He said he is totally nonjudgmental and it doesn’t matter to him if I am gay or straight but that he is straight himself. But he reassured me that we are already such great friends and that that will not change. So I’m just trying to back off with the feelings while being a friend. It can get hard especially in my case we work together 6 days a week and are constantly finding reasons to go by each other just to talk. What I’m getting at is that it is entirely possible to remain friends with someone but it can be heartbreaking and stressful. When gay and straight people become close friends they both teach each other a lot of valuable life lessons I have been told that I’m a way better friend than their straight friends that I tend to have their back more and its easier to talk to me about relationships and emotional things. Personally I love making straight friends even when I crush on them. Good luck To everyone out there struggling. Just make The best of any friendship or relationship that you can. I hope this helps somebody ❤
Yeah, me too. It's no longer stressful or heartbreaking for me to have a crush on some straight friend. I used to struggle along - due to the fact that i knew nothing's gonna happen. I listened to all kinds of emo songs you know... haha. I came to the conclusion that anyways, first of all it is pleasant when you fall in love and have butterflies in your stomach, No matter what's going to happen further. Anyways, no one is truly someone's.
If your gay and you really love your straight friend its always best not to force any wanted relationship. On a one to one chat just tell him your gay and casually mention what you like doing with guys and what turns you on your fantasy etc. Leave it open for him to ask more over a period of time if he is in anyway interested. If he does not ask or give a hint - hes not interested. No harm done to the relationship :)
Even 9 years later, I'm thankful you've made this video! This guy I like has just always been super nice to me since we met and we grew really close. We've probably set a record for having talked at least once a day for the past year whether a message or call (we met online during covid, but we know what eachother look like, 2020 made irl interation weird lol). I've never had a relationship where someone has cared for me anywhere near close to how much I care about them. I've been through a lot of heartbreak with friendships, which has made it to where I'm not even phased anymore if people have left me on open or have stood me up. This guy doesn't do anything to make me feel bad on purpose, and if he has maybe once or twice, he's apologized as soon as he realized his wrong, as have I. So I developed feelings for him and it sucks. He knows I'm gay, and he knows I love him as a friend and even for the reasons why which relieves me in case I ever feel I need to tell him that I feel more, that I don't think it'll ruin our relationship. I know he loves me too, as a friend and I also know he likes knowing he's like a rock in a way and we've both helped eachother out. My heart goes out to those who have lost their friendships over falling in love with someone knowing they cannot love you back that way. I've also had a girl who I'm friends with say she had a crush on me and I felt terrible that I couldn't like her back that way, I gave her some space and then we have still been friends since.
'I've never had a relationship where someone has cared for me anywhere near close to how much I care about them. I've been through a lot of heartbreak with friendships' - i can relate. same thing with me. well, actually, i can remember one specific person from whom i felt that he was caring for me (when he was making that dinner at his place, he bought some expensive ingredients which he rarely buys. he bought them because he was making dinner FOR ME. that was so pleasant. and you know what he funniest part is? He is married to a woman (whom he doesn't love) and has a child. Straight. lol
My best friend is straight I told him I love him so much , he appreciate my feeling and he always accompany me most the time -we still have boundaries as bestfriend , atleast I felt ease to show what inside me
Very true. I am in the same boat. A younger friend i have loves me as a friend but he is so damn attractive i am having a rough time with boundaries and know he is straight . I can tell him what i feel and he gets me which i value more. Sometime having close friends that get you has a priceless value in itself.
@@jamesdonohue1762I'm a girl and i think I'm in love with my best friend but he's gay and has a boyfriend he is a substitute teacher at my school now we've been friends when we were in high school together when i see him i smile everyday and always give me hugs he makes me happy but when i see him and his boyfriend's pictures on social media i feel sad inside idk what i should do let him be happy or tell him that i have feelings for him help?
Been there, done that...lol Here is whats going on. You are fixed on a perception of who you think he is. If he indulged you, the butterflies will deminish after a while and soon your addiction will call you again and all of a sudden you are fixed on your favorite car mechanic. The cycle goes on and on until you realize the pattern. That mind chatter aint no joke... "what if he's interested in me the same way Im interested in him" lol It's the not knowing (the chase) that you are addicted to and not your friend. You created a an avatar of the perfect love through him. Again if he induged you, it will never be like what the storyline is in your head.
I wish I had seen this video before doing the most stupid thing I've ever done, that is telling my straight friend, who I had a crush on, that I liked him. Never do it because it'll fuck up the friendship and you'll go through a tough time if that happens trust me
Hi Bruno. Same experience here. I lost a good friend over him realising last January that I had a crush on him. I still get into a state of distress when I think about it. When we meet now it's totally awkward. A guy outed me in public in front of my friend. The resulting hurt angry look on my friend's face haunts me still. But I still fantasize. I wish I could get over it and move on. It still gets me down.
+Paul Aidan kinda the same thing, whenever I'm around him it's very awkward for two reasons 1:he still is kind of creeped out about it. which bothers me 2:because we haven't figured out what our 'friendship' is right now and there are some things that were left in the air and they made him uncomfortable everytime I ever brought them up. P.S:there are sometimes I'm with one of my girl (SPACE) friends and she wants to talk to him while I'm there it's weird because I'm like hugging them while we walk and Talk about stuff
UPDATE: I have talked to him a few months ago and we are now friends. Actually, he's kind of trying to set me up with someone so... Things do get better...obviously only when people are rational and are able to talk. He told me what went through his mind when he did what he did and we were able to work things out. We are now friends. So all you gotta do is be able to talk and try to talk and be understanding. Of course, if he says something homophobic and it's not because they're telling you what they USED to think but what they think in the present, you should not be talking to that person. Moral of the story: Everything gets better if you talk. Nothing will get better if you tell a friend to tell a friend to tell a friend to tell him something. It's always better to talk in person.
This happened to me in the 1990's. The only way I could handle it was to back off the friendship. I had to put some time and distance between us in order to get over those feelings. Once I moved on emotionally, I was able to go back to being closer. I never told him that I was in love with him.
Be honest about your feelings, if that's the relationship you have. If they aren't reciprocated, ask for space to deal with your emotions, once you've done that go back to being friends.
My closest friend in college is straight. He knew I’m gay when I sent him a letter (in 1991) telling him that I loved him. After a few weeks he replied that he couldn’t [physically] love me but he did indeed still love me. And we love each other today. He, his wife, and their two lovely children and my husband and I get together every so often and have a ball - they live in Idaho and we live in Austin. My friend and his wife are people and that attribute is obvious in the way they interact with their children and in the way the children behave: their bright, intuitive, empathetic, polite, and engaging - just like their parents.
You appear to me, to be a person who is full of wisdom, you share your knowledge, advice and personal experience with a lot of people. that in itself, makes you a beautiful person, a real person. God bless you.
Chris Tiu..... I do agree with you, he is a lovely men, but asoming that friendship will be over ! No it will not if you do things properly and in a slower passe, I'm bi and I have a crash for this girl at work, and it took me 2 years to getting her to now me and to now my intentions( by giving sines, very slowly) inventoaly she softer up to me and she agreed to be my wife ( like best friendwife, and we are not dating, but she goes about, holding hands, baying gifts for me, going aout for drinks, etc and telling everyone that she is my wife, with that I'm finding my self moving my feelings for her to best friend and it's the best thing ever) soooo not everything is black and white, you have all the renbow coolores in between! Hope it helps!:)
good advice. respect your friend. you dont need to tell him everything, he probably already knows. he loves you but he's straight. it is possible to keep these friends if you have total respect and empathy for the one that you love. good luck.
Good advice. Id also say that those strong feelings will fade over time and if the friendship is important then just wait it out. Been in that situation and gave myself the time to work through my feelings on my own.
I think a lot of gay men have been in this situation. I have. It's best to just accept what you can't change or even have and move on. A confession might change your friendship, so ask yourself; what is more important. Your feelings or your friendship?
Lost my best friend cause I told him my feelings he was ok with it in the beginning but yesterday he told me he didn't want to talk to me for some time cause he couldn't deal with it mentally so now I have cried 2 dayes and wishes that I could turn back time and undo it cause he has been my best friend for 9 years
Absolutely AGREE with everything you said, Me myself I have had this great friend for MANY YEARS now, he's very tall, has always had a fit great body, white golden hair, and a face that melts everything around him, sometimes I feel compelled to ask him if his gorgeous looks don't hurt his face, he's handsome right down to the tiniest pore in his face, he's got big, strong hands and his arms are covered with this golden fur, I mean, whoa!!, needless to say the thought of "something more" has crossed my mind MANY, M . A . N . Y . times but without reading any books on the subject, without ever hearing it from other guys like you in your video, I myself arrived to that conclusion that if I had let him know my feelings for him and that I would love to experience further stuff with him, it MAY have created weird, uncomfortable, awkward feelings between us and I MAY have lost his friendship as a result, so what did I do?, I NEVER, NEVER EVER, let myself go and told him, what was the result?, I STILL have this GREAT, AWESOME, VERY RELYING, EXCELLENT and GOOD friend. We go out to eat together and had done fun friends stuff many times, his mom loves me and has even thanked me for advice I've given Henry in the past, life advice, especially with girls, he's so handsome women has been a heavy issue he has dealt with in his live. Henry has been an awesome friend and I plan to keep it that way.... forever, until I die.
I have the situation. My best friend is an awesome straight guy, handsome, beautiful face and green eyes. The body is amazing!!!! But like I say, he is my best friend. He loves to talk to me and have great times with me. We even went to Madrid and we did a same tattoo together in the back of our ears (the infinity symbol as our friendship forever). Not to mention it was his first tattoo so that means a lot to me. Even when I text him or he text me every morning, we say each other “good morning handsome” hehehehe... I feel, of course about him but in other hand I don’t wanna ruin by telling him my feeling about him. I prefer the nice and greats friendship we have together. In a couple of months me and my boyfriend are moving to another city and my friend is moving with us 😊 . It’s soooo great to have this cain or friends around.
No offense, but that sounds tragic to me. Maybe the way you describe it, like it seems like a happy ending but it's not. But I'm sure you've moved on from that feelings.
i have the same problem and i told him about my feelings, and until today, our relationship still alive, we still are friends, but definitely we are not that close like before... i hope in the future we become a close friends again, even more closer than before, cuz now he know the truth, and he deserves that.
Good advice.. I am experiencing that same situation right now.. he happens to be my co worker and he is in a 11 years relationship with his girlfriend and we are like together everyday at work so I freakin fell in love with him. I feel that he cares about me even though he knows that I am really feminine and every time we are together or beside me I can see butterflies, I hear wedding bells and chirping of the birds, in short it's true love that I have been fantasizing! LOL it's really difficult and I feel that he knows about my feelings already but of course I am trying my best not to show it.. well good luck to us,., It's really sad to fall in love with the wrong person. :( I hope to find my real happiness...
☝️as a 'straight friend' the situation I had was that I was open to something else...alas his hags interfered and threatened me. And made our interactions weird after that. I asked him if he wanted to get lunch and it got weirder...and no we don't talk anymore...He is a great guy and miss hanging out with him😞😞😞
Thank you for trying to be the friend we all needed :), guess these situations go both ways. Hopefully maybe you get to rekindle your relationship in the future!
I find people focus on the problems on the gay guy side of the situation. But sometimes itś the straight guy with the problems, or that he simply has just as many as the gay guy does. Everyone has a basic human right to their own thoughts and emotions. So if you want to feel love for this guy, do it. They're your feelings, and no one has a right to waltz into your head without your permission and toss them into the trash. You can also always articulate your emotion using, "I feel, I want", but don't be surprised if you don't get the best response. And don't be surprised if people start putting up boundaries out of a homophobic and heterosexist "gut-type" response. People can listen to you communicate your wants and needs, if they choose not to unfairly judge, but they have to obligation to satisfy them. And if they ask you to respect certain boundaries on the expression of what you feel and want from them, what other choice do you have? My primary point though, is that your gay thoughts and feelings, even if directed toward a straight person, are valid. Thoughts and feelings will always be valid, and can always be articulated to others in a direct, respectful adult manner. Anyone trying to tell you those gay thoughts and feelings don't deserve to see the sun under any circumstances is just being heterosexist. And that just ain't cool. It's not "a problem" if you have feelings a guy does not want you to have, as long as you keep you behavior within a respectful adult manner type of territory. Because at the end of the day, thinking of gay thoughts and feelings as "a problem" is the same thing as thinking of queerness as "a problem". It's not. This is just...how the guy makes you feel. Nothing more, nothing less. Sorry for the long post, but damn this is important!
Call Me Swivel Hips yeah my friend is gay and has a crush on me and he said its cool but he is really bummed out about it tho which makes me feel bad and idk what to do cause he says he cant rid of those feelings
Well personally, I wouldn’t wanna be friends with a guy knowing that he is constantly thinking of me in romantic and sexual ways, and fantasizing about me, probably masturbating to me behind close doors, and feeling antagonistic towards any girl I date and wishing he could sabotage our relationship, wishing he could turn me gay. Yeah… no… it’s simply too uncomfortable and makes me feel terrible for both him, my gf, and myself. The friendship is pretty much over at that point, as painful as that is This is why I can have gay friends but I prefer none of my close friends being gay, you may think it’s homophobic but I do it because it scares me to ever find myself in that situation, I rather save us all the pain and drama just in case. But then again I’ve never been in that situation so I don’t know how I would react, hopefully it never happens.
That must’ve been unbelievably difficult for him My humble advice is to move on It’s like the wild fantasy that we have we wish if we could sleep with some straight men and we may fall in love with them as well but we can’t capture them I advise that man to give his crush a couple of compliments or eventually tell him that he likes him and has a crush on him And if he’s a caring person he’ll either reject you politely or he’ll even ask you out nobody knows many straight men could be flexible or at least appreciate good looking men
no one can capture anyone. even when people are married, they don't fully belong to each other lol. anyways, yeah! good advise! giving the crush a couple of compliments is always a good idea. it can make him feel more confident etc.
I grew up with mine, known each other for 10 years until we became roommates for 4 years. It's only until he got a girlfriend on our fourth year did I face this reality. I am genuinely am happy for him so I came to terms with it. The only issue is that the girlfriend felt weird about how close we were so we had to put distance to avoid tension.
Yes, Forget the sex it always gets in the way! Who needs it ( I know we all do ) but continue to love them anyway and open the self to reciprocity of love and see it on matter whatever form it takes.
Just went through this with a coworker! He and I had a deep emotional affair that began on day two of his employment with me. We told each other that we loved each other on the third day after drinking together after work. Not a day went by after that, that we didn’t call, text or work with each other. Stupid me told him I had fallen in love with him, two months later. Things went to hell after that. He became guarded in public with me. Then we had a horrible, passionate text fight that lasted over 12 hours. Now, we’re not speaking at all. It hurts.
Mark, I really enjoy listening to your replies. Isn't the basis of a Crush, is that it stays in your mind?. And it isn't revealed to the other person? You were smart to keep your Crushes to yourself, and not let the other person know. Especially if the Crush is a Straight guy. You are so wise. Cheers....
Great video. It is my story: I wish I had learned how to accept him as him and not be all about me. It was my issue. But, I had not experienced this before and had come to a place I HAD to resolve MY issue...knowing it could end the friendship. It did. I dealt with it the Only way I knew at the time. . .I was honest with both of us. He was Amazing. He was clear. He was certain. I acknowledged this was my issue a d I'd deal with it. I literally moved away. I was in the process of looking for a house to buy. It turned out to be an hour away. We stopped working out together. We stopped hiking and river rafting. He stopped taking my calls. I live in an amazing town in the Perfect house... I lost the companionship of my friend. He will always be a friend in heart. The next time (unfortunately I imagine there will be a next time...I identify as straight and I hang out with straight men.) The next time I'll have to figure how to keep my friend and keep my emotions in a separate place.
Sometimes you develop these awkward crushes and you really didn't WANT to go there. You find yourself fighting those feelings and it's not always possible to avoid the person -- say a team mate or co-worker. I've been in situations like that.
Honestly, what's the likelihood your straight crush is laying on his bed daydreaming about you for hours interposed with crying into a pillow for hours because he wants you and needs you in his life so badly? Hmm ... 🤔 Never make someone a priority who only views you as an option.
It's really painfull im going thorough it ... Its been 12 years .. the problem is that i couldn't find a right guy in UAE... it almost dying every day coz we working together and now he knows that im gay ... i did every thing to get rid on it but its fail..😭😢
Probably just no different from having a crush on another gay guy who's not into you? Just get over it? It's called unrequited crush/lust/love. Everybody on earth of all orientations has had it. Millions of songs have been written about it.
And a lot of people of all orientations have had those, too. I actually have had a few and one with my straight best friend that was intense and that almost totally ruined our friendship. I had to take a break from him to get over him but he never got completely over the whole thing.
I've had one of those with my closest frient. I completely ruined our friendship, and I dind't even need to tell him anything. It's been over 2 years since we don't see each other, and it's very weird just the thought of doing so. That really hurt.
Thank you very much for your advice. Friendship is more important than my personal thing. But I can't control myself; being too excited and laugh a lot when I was near him. It make me feels unconfortable. So I am trying to ignore him as I afraid he would notice me or he already has.
Im going through this now. Its always happen to me when i get too closed to someone. Asking myself if Should i go away from him. It hurts me but i just want to erase the feelings .
I have a similar issue. Crushing hard (not like that) on a straight friend, my best guy friend actually who is engaged to a female. Someone suggested I'm not "in love" with him, but in love with the IDEA of him. Which makes sense but doesn't. Because even when we're not around each other, I think about him. And physically hanging out only makes these feelings worse...
Thanks :) I moved on from this fantasy and have moved on to a different part of my life, but when my friend and I are back home and hang out together, I feel all those feelings running back..what to do?
Its not always what you are that matters but who you are that makes the difference. You just may not be his type. That doesn't mean he's not into guys he's just not into you like that. A lot of guys present themselves as being straight according to whom they are around.
Shit, I've had this stupid crush on this man that's 9 years older than me. Been making me crazy and I sorta know I would never be with him, he's older than me and plus it's really difficult to date someone who's still in school. Deep down I hoped he liked me too and it drove me insane thinking about it. A few minutes ago I went and stalked him ( really difficult to find someone if you only know half of their name ). I managed to find him on FB after a few hours of searching and his profile picture was a picture of him with his arms around a girl. Sure I was disappointed and I told my heart, get over it, save yourself the pain, it wasn't ever going to happen anyway. I should have just gave up then but I still wanted to go through his info. It was then when I found out that he's actually Bi. I was instantly crushed, my heart felt this odd happiness but yet it was also painfully numb. The chances of me being with him is still low but I just can't get over him, not yet anyway.
Great advice.. i think my friend is open minded with lots of intimate conversation but after listening to you. Im starting to think his just open minded, cause " I CANNOT ANYMORE " its too painful
I’ve had a crush on this guy since high school fast forward 11 years to today and the guy is Sexy as hell. If guys see him they would probably think he is ugly, but he’s still Hot to me! We were never super close but I still think about him. He dated a girl from Sophomore year til about 2021. Now he’s with a new girl and I’m really happy for him. Him and his new lady make a really great couple and I hope they get married. Even though we don’t talk I still consider him one of my good friends. I always love DPO! ❤️
I fell in love with my straight arab friend . He know that i did love him he think its not a problem but he say iff i kiss him ore try something the friendship is over .. its hard to let it all go .. but you need to choose .. give it a chance and kiss him and maybe it works ore maybe the friendship is over .. ore just deal with your feelings . get over it in a way and keep this great friendship .. i need this friendship... iff that straight best friend likes you more then friends ans know your gay than he will kiss you .. my advice get over it dont say goodbye to friendship 😏😉
I can relate to this kind of thing as I experienced it myself and still can not move on from this torturing feeling..but for me, I just want him to be happy and trying as my best to support him..
Este hombre es hombre es hermoso. Seria un placer y honor tenerlo al lado de uno. Se toma tiempo de comunicar y orientar a la gente. Muy bien se pudo mantener ajeno a todo, pero que bien que se haya tomado tiempo en compartir y orientar. Kudos!
Going through this at the moment plus the guy is Russian and I’m Malaysian and currently he is visiting tomorrow for freaking whole month.. freaking have no idea how to deal with this feelings 😪
I'm a 50 year old married gay man (married to another guy) but I've had a crush on a co-worker for about a year now. He's friends with me and my partner and things he's said to me made me wonder if he was a little bi-curious. But he recently realized his drinking was a problem and went into detox for 6 days. Part of his drinking was due to his wife being very "cold" as he put it. He's confided in me because I'm more emotionally sympathetic than my 60 year old partner. This guy is 42 and his wife is 37 and they have 3 young kids. Well after his detox he found out that his wife went out drinking one night and left their 3 kids home by themselves overnight! The kids are 11, 8 and 6. So he ended up drinking a couple beers and then confronted his wife about leaving the kids by themselves overnight. She flew into a rage and attacked him. He held her back but she managed to bite him and bruise him pretty badly. And she got bruises on her wrists from him holding her back. Their 11 year old son started hitting his dad so he raised his fist but would never hit him. He just told him to back off. But the wife called the police and he was cuffed and put in jail for the night. Then he walked to a friends house and spent the weekend there. Then me and my partner offered to let him stay with us. So he's been here since March 20th and the police put a restraining order on him so he can't see his wife or oldest son. But he can still Face Time with his two younger kids. Me and this co-worker have also been working out for the last couple months. So unlike most straight crushes my straight crush is a friend and now he's living in our house. One day on the way home from the gym I told him I kinda suspected he might be bi-curious but he said he isn't. And then he joked that I was probably gonna kick him out because he isn't what I wanted him to be. I just said "Nah." But it's a daily struggle because I'm giving him all my support while he and his wife have decided to separate. He's very angry and is already calling her his "ex-wife." His first week here was very hard because he kept wanting me to check and see if she was on Facebook and stressing about why she was on it so much. So then he downloaded a couple dating apps and has been chatting with a few women. And he even went out on a date with one on Saturday. But he said he just wanted to go out and have some fun. She had to pick him up though because his wife has the car. But on his date he just went out to eat and then bowling. The night didn't last as long as he thought it would. But again he said he doesn't want to jump into a relationship after 5 years of marriage and knowing his now ex-wife for 17 years. But I don't think he realizes how hard it is to deal with when he's showing me women he's chatting with and asking my opinion. I've been telling him that my relationship with my partner is pretty cold too and I wouldn't mind hugs from him now and then. And he does give me the occasional hug and I offer him a hug when he seems to be having a hard day. Like today he found out his wife won't let him see the two younger kids even though they are not part of the restraining order. But MAN this is a daily struggle. Part of me wants to tell him how much I struggle but then it would be so awkward with him continuing to live here. And I'm afraid it would affect our friendship and doing stuff like going to the gym together. And He's a tall (6' 4" dirty blond hair and blue eyed guy) and I'm a very short 5' 4" brown hair and brown eyed guy who is stocky but very built too. He likes to bragg to people how I can lift a lot more weight than him at the gym and he will grab my bicep and tell me to flex for people. And of course I love the attention from him. And of course a part of my mind wants to say that maybe he has a tiny attraction to me. But then I snap back to reality and know that nothing will probably ever happen. I even told him during that conversation on the way home from the gym that my fantasies mainly just involve me giving him pleasure and not having him do anything to me. I said "Like just put on some straight porn and maybe jerk you off." He just said "Oh geeze." If I was single I don't think he would find my attraction as awkward but knowing I am legally married to my partner does make it strange for him. He even thinks it's weird that I check out guys on the Grindr and Scruff apps. Ugh! This is SO rough and depressing at times.
I feel much better now. I don't think you gave particularly good advise, especially emphasizing a "parting of the ways" over and over. A real friend won't run scared because you like or love them. A real friend is there to be a friend and to have a friend in you. A real friend will potentially shoot you down, but only a person who doesn't appreciate you would want to part ways in that scenario. I've gone through this with straight and gay guys, and straight women. Bringing it up, being honest... those are signs of friendship. Leaving the friendship after a serious moment like that... it doesn't seem very friendly. If they value who you are, and you are open and honest, then a reveal like that won't be very surprising. Just saying.
Hey guys I love a guy who is my classmate as well as my roommate in the hostel. He is so cute and hot and handsome but he is fully straight. He loves a girl and always stays on chat with her. I'm even unable to express my feelings in front of him. I'm afraid of him, his thoughts, his rejection and of society. Kindly help me out with any best idea. I love him so much 😢😢😢... I love him so badly and even he is living with me in a single room I'm unable to kiss him 😭. How sad 😢
I’m so going through this now,he doesn’t talk to people much but he gives me his full attention whenever I throw things out there for him to engage into..he seems very comfortable being touchy-feely also very comfortable in who he is ..example of his comfort level..he wanted to show me the proper way to “choke out someone “ and he kept trying to physically show me through embracing me like a hug almost 😩😵😚😍 amongst plenty other times where he was so close to me certain girls would make faces and say little comments like 🧐😟”what is he doing(being so close to me I assume)” because they know I’m gay...another time where I said “ I smell mosquito repellent and he stuck his arm directly under my nose in front of everybody and asked “is it me”...but yep ,he just sits in his corner quietly at work and eventually looks up from whatever hes doing to occupy himself , with an alluringly intense look in his eyes whenever we connect...deep sighhhhhh...I hate this
My advice to Brent is to cut ties and begin to distance yourself as a friend. No phone calls, no texts and no hanging out. For looking at that pretty face and body will only remind you of what you can not have and you don't need to torture yourself like that. And if he asks why you are being distant, tell him the TRUTH. And when you do tell him it's gonna get WEIRD but that's o.k. because by then you'll be in the process of phasing him out of your life. IMHO.
You cant help who you fall in love with and telling him may help you move on, it can frustrate you and fall for him more if you dont tell him, also a lot of the time straight guys fit our ideal type and standards, whereas gay guys constantly fail to meet our expectations and no we aint gonna lower them.
I know this video has been posted for a while, but i just want to share that: you can’t make someone want you! Understand something better is coming and you have to believe that! Its time to make a change for the better and raise your vibrations to connect to higher frequencies to attract the love you deserve. I bet the moment you’re happy and with someone that cares for you the way you care for them, the other person will be singing a different song! Love always A Z ♥️
Also, when someone leaves you out in the cold, alone with these feelings to fester and cook inside you is not love! That’s trauma and complete abandonment, and by not accepting that, you abandon yourself.
Welcome to my life. I know two straight men who are emotionally intelligent, caring, attentive, and full of love. They know I'm gay but don't bother. Sometimes, I wonder if women feel the same when they meet a wonderful man who's gay.
Crushes on straight dudes is one the worst things about being gay.
Redd_Boy89 yup I have one to
Yee 😭
Juan Ayon tell me about out it 😓
Yasssssss
Dude, ik😩
this situation is excruciatingly painful...... been there .
I'm in this situation please help me 😢😭
IMRAN AHMAD Khan, I’m there now
Me too
YES SAME
More than ones😂
What’s worse is when the straight guy flirts with you too and acts all interested. Then one day you find out that he’s dating one of your female friends. My advice would be that at the first hint that you’re crushing on a straight guy, ignore him like the plague. It will only end up in heartbreak.
I totally agree with you on this since I've exactly had the same feelings toward one of my straight friends that I've had.
We were almost close friends to each other for more than one and half year and what I couldn't believe in the end was when most of the times got this feeling from him that maybe he also have interests in me and it seems he's not gonna make me stop by putting a harsh comment on my feelings toward him in a serious way and he was kinda always open about such a relationship (not always but most of the times he was really interested in such topics and my sexual orientation except at some occassions where he tried to make me convinced that he's straight, kinda keep talking about women's genitalia and this stuff to kinda make me understand I'm not the type of person he's looking for) but what really interested me about him was his desire for getting closer to me at some points where I was kinda unable to figute this out that was it for sending me some signals or kinda trying to compensate for something else that he's done to kinda keep the relationship as positive as it was.
It was really hard for me to distinguish and you know when I realized that? Yeah, I realized it when it was kinda too late to recover... When he actually left me forever. He was actually my coworker and also my close friend. So he had to get back to his city and his own family and after he returned to his hometown, that was the moment I realized cold messages from him on social media.
The only possible way for communication between me and him was social media after it.
It really kinda broke me from inside when I tried to make him understand about his situation and our close friendship (When I say close friendship, I don't actually mean having intercourse with him. Just to make it clear for the readers!)
As a result, I agree with you on this.
I don't honestly recommend such a relationship between a straight person and a gay guy to anyone.
How can a straight person really fall in love with a gay person. It only reminds me of things such as abuse and something like that.
Let's not fool each other. They can't honestly get connected to each other emotionally after a while and it's always gonna be the straight person leaving the gay person alone since the number of gay people in each society is much less than straight people so it's always gonna be the straight guy playing hard to get.
It's so fucked up!
There's nothing interesting for you to read here if you're waiting for something special or some formula I tell you to fix this sh!t. 🙂
@@Matin1999_uniqueWhat should i do i have a crush on my straight friend (he have a gf) but he knows that used to read BL manga and all he even add me on his close friend in insta 😭✊🏻✊🏻✊🏻.
Im very talkative in phone but i barely talk irl. He used to talk to me but i used to ignore him cause im too shy 💀AND HE STOPPED TALKING TO ME AND USED TO IGNORE ME.
But im going to apologize on his birthday :) even tho im very shy talking to him.
Should i stawp crushing him?
BUT ITS GONNA BE SO HARD 😭.
(TRY TO UNDERSTAND MY ENGLISH 💀)
fr like there is my crush. He flirst all the time. Like if he says he is straight it has to be written in cursive
My advice is to move on and meet other guys. If you have feeling for them yes let them know. Give them a compliment whenever you get a chance so that they know you’re into them. You might end up making a good friend or loosing them. If you loose them it’s fine move on and think of it as trial and error. Eventually you’ll sooner than later meet some cool guys who are gay friendly. The only thing with straight men is that they’re like wild horses if you capture one they might not be there forever so enjoy the moment. With that said just have fun, live and explore and most importantly don’t dwell on someone who’s not willing to show love. ✌🏽
Don't even tell him because after you do I'd imagine your friendship would end when things get uncomfortable. And they will
this is really good "appreciation for the friend they are"
HEYYY
There is a line in the movie He's Just Not That Into You which says that "..if a guy is into you, he will make it happen.." I have found this pearl of wisdom to be true more than once. STEPS FOR DEALING WITH A STRAIGHT GUY: 1) Avoid him at all costs. (If he is into you, then he will come find you and ask why you have been avoiding him. If not, then he's not interested) 2) When he comes to find you, respectfully let him know about your attraction to men. See how he reacts. 3) Get busy living your life. Keep avoiding him. Allow time to pass. One day, out of the blue, you will get a phone call, email, or text from him asking you to hang out. If not, move on. The main thing is to let him know that you are into guys, and that you know how to keep your mouth shut about anything that happens between you.
chillbrutha82 Hello I hope you are having a wonderful day
Best advice...Drive home...pack up your stuff and move to a different city. Start a new life... live happily ever after. I’m not saying this to hurt you in any way, you are beautiful and I would hate to see you get hurt. I’m sure many of us have been there. It’s a different type of pain you don’t want to experience.
😂😂😂😂
I am currently going through the same situation. My crush and I are officemates. He's so nice to everyone to the extent that he gives snacks. I thought I was special 'cause he gave me a separate pack apart from what he gave to our colleagues. I added him on FB, he PMed right away. We chatted. Some of our colleagues say that it's obvious that I'm crushing on him. I always remind myself that he is straight and he likes girls. And I'm not a girl. So there's that.
It just sucks that my brain and my heart are collaborating with making this "what ifs" that he'll fall for me, too. I hate crushing on someone let alone loving someone.
Wow, your situation is just the same with me
Crush on a gay dude.... Why can't we all just be Bi ???? Seriously :-(
Carina Mcdermott that's not how it works
ONG!!!
Because people are born straight
Technically we are all bi. Some of us are deeper in one side of the scale than others.
@@von3689 really? You were born automatically attracted to a gender? That must have been awkward for your parents.
You can bring a horse to water but you can't make him drink.
Lol what.
Ozur King wtf 😭😭
Old American expression!!!
It means u can tell him ur gay and u like him but u can't make him gay or like u
@@ozurking4748 duhh🙃😭
There is nothing more selfish than a gay guy with a "I want him" attitude. My heart pounds out of my chest every time I see my straight best mate and has done for 20 years, and yes he would be an ideal partner, however, I love and respect him on a deeper level by accepting that we live different lives. Real love is selfless and has no boundaries or obstacles
The respect needs to go both ways. Not only to him but to yourself as well. If the friendship is fine and you can live with the emotions is what's important.
@@korisx how is romantic attraction selfish? Everybody has wanted someone. What a stupid thing to say.
@@notthefather3919 I never said it was.
Yah what r u fr ? He should at least acknawladge an apreciate the fact that u fell for him give u the most pasionant kiss u deserve an then tells u im soorry i cant make my self love u that way if he want too this often works like majic beleive me ull forget about him by the next moorning w t f u telling me u havent been treated by him that way for 20y this man has no sens of love
AMEN to that AMEN
My personal opinion: Leave him alone! He's straight, you're gay, find someone else before someone gets hurt
Great advice! It’s the only advice 👍
booksyn what if he was also actually having the same feeling to you but you didnt know it? It happends a lot in a gay friendship. Sometime we cant tell whether our friend is also a gay or just an open minded
Is it because your happy as a girl your making such comments
But sorry to say some people in life plays games and you don't know his circumstances just hope your partner is not living double life hey
@@kumpulanvidiohiburan9801 i got a friend who might be open minded But.. there are so much intimacy conversations so im confuse
It’s good advice that I will follow but I can’t get over him
Dont make a move on him whatever you do! It will make things awkward and uncomfortable! Keep it to yourself or damage the friendship.
I wouldn't mention it if there are no signs of mutual interest. The crush will pass, just give it time.
dont do it seriously dont. dont tell him cuz if you do your friendship will be over.
howard gordo wow so positive
For me it was over. He's been avoiding me since I confessed to him.
Really, @Dolder, there's nothing to be positive about. :D
It happened to me.
@PUPPY WING my friend is also fine with it and treats me no different. He agreed to distance ourselves a bit (we were chatting daily) but i still hang out with him 2-3 times a week and the distancing has made things easier as I appreciate his friendship a lot more rather than hoping for anything else. It really all comes down to the type of friendship the two people have..
@PUPPY WING I think I'm lucky too. My story is a bit complicated. I just did confess love to my friend not long ago. it took me a long while to have the courage being afraid our friendship would be ruined. I thought I fell in love with him just a few days after I met him, but I knew it was impossible so I tried my best not to develop my feelings for him. He was always nice to me. We hung out often like bros. Every time we went out to drink, he always ended up with a girl and when he couldn't really find one, he would pay for a prostitute as his sexual desire is really strong. One day last month we were drinking at my home, we became a bit drunk he suddenly asked me "Are you a bit gay?". I didn't know why he asked and wanted to tell him I am fully gay but I nodded without saying anything. He then said he knows it and so is he. And that gave me a lot of hopes. At some point I teased him by telling him to Prove it. He then helped me masturbate and kissed my penis but nothing else happened. It was really unexpected. I thought things already turned to be in my favor. But when I touched his, it wasn't erected at all. I knew right away he did it because he was drunk and we were so close. I'll still have to hold my feelings until one night we got very drunk again. I cried like a pu**y and told him "I hope this wouldn't discontinue our friendship but I think I'm gay and I love you" he replied that he loves me too and we're still friends". I was a good feeling to get it off my chest. I told him I really meant it and I liked it when he gave me a hand job back then at my home. I also feel like helping him and even sucking him, he then let me do it but it took so long till he got hard. I had to play a straight porn for him till he finished. I was very worried after he went home that he would never contact me again because of what happened. Surprisingly he texted me to hang out again the next day. However this time he said he would bring 2 paid girls and one is for me. I know he is straight and not disgusted of who I am. He loves me as a bro. I am happy for that. But it's like he thinks I am just confused and is trying to convert me to be straight though it's not possible. I didn't have any choice but to go along. Until now I only managed to have sex with only 1 girl he took for me and I failed the other times. However, he still calls me almost everyday and we still hang out together. I help him get girls sometimes because he is a foreigner and can't read Thai scripts. When we get drunk, he still played like before touching my penis when pissing next to him. But I found out he wouldn't do it or let me touch his penis when sober unlike before. I even seriously asked him a few times whether he would still be friend with me if I'm really gay. He said yes tho. I know my crush on him is impossible but at least I'm lucky enough that he still accepts me even with a lot of clues of my being gay, at least until now.
If he's a real friend you won't lose his friendship. Value your friendship and realize he's not the love of your life.
Just sharing this...I also have a crush on someone who I think is straight. I told him I have a crush on him and that I don't expect anything from him because I know it's very unlikely that he likes/will like me. Even so, I may not expect anything from him but I want him to also like me, there's a difference. After I told him I like him he just said "ohhhhh" and then "thanks?" Which left me devastated gurl like he fvcking said "thanks?" with a "?" gurl I CAN'T...then after that I stirred the conversation, switched the topic so that at the end of the day he can easily forget that another man confessed on him that 'he' likes him. We're still friends and I like him even more. He's just so genuine and so honest and very quirky and talented and he has social life, he do sports, sleeps 6-8 hours a day, he can balance school and leisure like he's soooo perfect deary, he's a bit cold but I enjoy that cuz I think it's warm. Deary it's so hard. It's so FUCKING HARD to love someone that doesn't love you, it's suffocating but you like it because the lack of air makes you high...Deary why?!! But I still like him, I love him, in fact. And will still love him until it fades...until it fades because I know I will forget how I feel about him, it's how my mind works you know. BUT WHAT MATTERS NOW IS I LOVE HIM.
Okay, that's all. Thank you for reading ❤
Awwww
Do u still love him
This is great advice! This concern has been ruling my life for 2 years now, and I appear to be giving in to these fantasies --and it's so tedious! Great advice! I need to look at this video every morning!
i really do experience that thing, last day I've cry so hard because of him
Marc, your advice was right on the mark! Every gay guy is going to have crushes throughout his life on straight friends. 90-something percent of the guys we meet are not boyfriend material. Maybe at night, we can have him in our fantasy. But by day, we should enjoy our platonic friendships. And work on finding a great gay guy who we can really be lovers and partners with.
And you're also right that you shouldn't TELL him. He knows you're gay and you like him. No need to say it out loud and make things awkward... or possibly hurt the friendship.
@@SEFR7337i know what it feels like because i got turned on by a male cousin of a school friend while he wasn't with his girlfriend. But we're really close like brothers
I have been through this before going through it a 2nd time currently. To this day I am still amazing friends with the first same sex straight friend. The 2nd and current crush is a friend I just met months ago. The chemistry of our friendship was just amazing like I never felt so close to someone as a friend and felt like I knew them for a lifetime already and know that we both just understand and respect each other. This time I got it over with right away and told him I was bisexual and that he is an amazing person. He said he is totally nonjudgmental and it doesn’t matter to him if I am gay or straight but that he is straight himself. But he reassured me that we are already such great friends and that that will not change. So I’m just trying to back off with the feelings while being a friend. It can get hard especially in my case we work together 6 days a week and are constantly finding reasons to go by each other just to talk. What I’m getting at is that it is entirely possible to remain friends with someone but it can be heartbreaking and stressful. When gay and straight people become close friends they both teach each other a lot of valuable life lessons I have been told that I’m a way better friend than their straight friends that I tend to have their back more and its easier to talk to me about relationships and emotional things. Personally I love making straight friends even when I crush on them. Good luck
To everyone out there struggling. Just make
The best of any friendship or relationship that you can. I hope this helps somebody ❤
Yeah, me too. It's no longer stressful or heartbreaking for me to have a crush on some straight friend. I used to struggle along - due to the fact that i knew nothing's gonna happen. I listened to all kinds of emo songs you know... haha. I came to the conclusion that anyways, first of all it is pleasant when you fall in love and have butterflies in your stomach, No matter what's going to happen further. Anyways, no one is truly someone's.
If your gay and you really love your straight friend its always best not to force any wanted relationship. On a one to one chat just tell him your gay and casually mention what you like doing with guys and what turns you on your fantasy etc. Leave it open for him to ask more over a period of time if he is in anyway interested. If he does not ask or give a hint - hes not interested. No harm done to the relationship :)
Hmmm... if u ask the guy out, and he declined with 1001 excuses, that will tells you something.
Even 9 years later, I'm thankful you've made this video! This guy I like has just always been super nice to me since we met and we grew really close. We've probably set a record for having talked at least once a day for the past year whether a message or call (we met online during covid, but we know what eachother look like, 2020 made irl interation weird lol). I've never had a relationship where someone has cared for me anywhere near close to how much I care about them. I've been through a lot of heartbreak with friendships, which has made it to where I'm not even phased anymore if people have left me on open or have stood me up. This guy doesn't do anything to make me feel bad on purpose, and if he has maybe once or twice, he's apologized as soon as he realized his wrong, as have I. So I developed feelings for him and it sucks.
He knows I'm gay, and he knows I love him as a friend and even for the reasons why which relieves me in case I ever feel I need to tell him that I feel more, that I don't think it'll ruin our relationship. I know he loves me too, as a friend and I also know he likes knowing he's like a rock in a way and we've both helped eachother out. My heart goes out to those who have lost their friendships over falling in love with someone knowing they cannot love you back that way. I've also had a girl who I'm friends with say she had a crush on me and I felt terrible that I couldn't like her back that way, I gave her some space and then we have still been friends since.
'I've never had a relationship where someone has cared for me anywhere near close to how much I care about them. I've been through a lot of heartbreak with friendships' - i can relate. same thing with me. well, actually, i can remember one specific person from whom i felt that he was caring for me (when he was making that dinner at his place, he bought some expensive ingredients which he rarely buys. he bought them because he was making dinner FOR ME. that was so pleasant. and you know what he funniest part is? He is married to a woman (whom he doesn't love) and has a child. Straight. lol
My best friend is straight I told him I love him so much , he appreciate my feeling and he always accompany me most the time -we still have boundaries as bestfriend , atleast I felt ease to show what inside me
Very true. I am in the same boat. A younger friend i have loves me as a friend but he is so damn attractive i am having a rough time with boundaries and know he is straight . I can tell him what i feel and he gets me which i value more. Sometime having close friends that get you has a priceless value in itself.
@@jamesdonohue1762I'm a girl and i think I'm in love with my best friend but he's gay and has a boyfriend he is a substitute teacher at my school now we've been friends when we were in high school together when i see him i smile everyday and always give me hugs he makes me happy but when i see him and his boyfriend's pictures on social media i feel sad inside idk what i should do let him be happy or tell him that i have feelings for him help?
@@genesisgarcia2477 any update?
Been there, done that...lol
Here is whats going on. You are fixed on a perception of who you think he is. If he indulged you, the butterflies will deminish after a while and soon your addiction will call you again and all of a sudden you are fixed on your favorite car mechanic. The cycle goes on and on until you realize the pattern.
That mind chatter aint no joke... "what if he's interested in me the same way Im interested in him" lol
It's the not knowing (the chase) that you are addicted to and not your friend. You created a an avatar of the perfect love through him. Again if he induged you, it will never be like what the storyline is in your head.
I wish I had seen this video before doing the most stupid thing I've ever done, that is telling my straight friend, who I had a crush on, that I liked him. Never do it because it'll fuck up the friendship and you'll go through a tough time if that happens
trust me
+Bruno Soso I am going through the exact same thing, which I did not expect at my age. It is a very difficult thing, and I still don't have the answer
Hi Bruno. Same experience here. I lost a good friend over him realising last January that I had a crush on him. I still get into a state of distress when I think about it. When we meet now it's totally awkward. A guy outed me in public in front of my friend. The resulting hurt angry look on my friend's face haunts me still. But I still fantasize. I wish I could get over it and move on. It still gets me down.
+Paul Aidan kinda the same thing, whenever I'm around him it's very awkward for two reasons
1:he still is kind of creeped out about it. which bothers me
2:because we haven't figured out what our 'friendship' is right now and there are some things that were left in the air and they made him uncomfortable everytime I ever brought them up.
P.S:there are sometimes I'm with one of my girl (SPACE) friends and she wants to talk to him while I'm there it's weird because I'm like hugging them while we walk and Talk about stuff
Same he then accidentally outed me (talked very loud in the cafeteria) and now we're straight up enemies.... :/
UPDATE: I have talked to him a few months ago and we are now friends. Actually, he's kind of trying to set me up with someone so... Things do get better...obviously only when people are rational and are able to talk. He told me what went through his mind when he did what he did and we were able to work things out. We are now friends. So all you gotta do is be able to talk and try to talk and be understanding.
Of course, if he says something homophobic and it's not because they're telling you what they USED to think but what they think in the present, you should not be talking to that person.
Moral of the story: Everything gets better if you talk. Nothing will get better if you tell a friend to tell a friend to tell a friend to tell him something. It's always better to talk in person.
I love the facial hair. it makes you appear very masculine.
Glenn Drake Hello I hope you are having a wonderful day
Glenn Drake he looks half asian
Glenn Drake it makes him “appear” very masculine? 🤣🤣🤣. So are you saying it’s just an illusion
loool
Glenn Drake hi
Going through this now
ForzaTerra89 me too. I think he’s a cool guy. I’m very comfortable with him and he let’s me touch him wherever I want. He’s very comfortable with me.
Robert Brolo I touch him whenever I feel like it and he never encourages me not to.
Omg same
Same
Me neither, i really like him very much and..
This happened to me in the 1990's. The only way I could handle it was to back off the friendship. I had to put some time and distance between us in order to get over those feelings. Once I moved on emotionally, I was able to go back to being closer. I never told him that I was in love with him.
Be honest about your feelings, if that's the relationship you have. If they aren't reciprocated, ask for space to deal with your emotions, once you've done that go back to being friends.
My closest friend in college is straight. He knew I’m gay when I sent him a letter (in 1991) telling him that I loved him. After a few weeks he replied that he couldn’t [physically] love me but he did indeed still love me. And we love each other today. He, his wife, and their two lovely children and my husband and I get together every so often and have a ball - they live in Idaho and we live in Austin. My friend and his wife are people and that attribute is obvious in the way they interact with their children and in the way the children behave: their bright, intuitive, empathetic, polite, and engaging - just like their parents.
You appear to me, to be a person who is full of wisdom, you share your knowledge, advice and personal experience with a lot of people. that in itself, makes you a beautiful person, a real person. God bless you.
I'm straight why am i watching this?😂
So now I'm pretty much saying, I can't have what I really want, there's an unbreakable wall between us, forever.
Chris Tiu..... I do agree with you, he is a lovely men, but asoming that friendship will be over ! No it will not if you do things properly and in a slower passe, I'm bi and I have a crash for this girl at work, and it took me 2 years to getting her to now me and to now my intentions( by giving sines, very slowly) inventoaly she softer up to me and she agreed to be my wife ( like best friendwife, and we are not dating, but she goes about, holding hands, baying gifts for me, going aout for drinks, etc and telling everyone that she is my wife, with that I'm finding my self moving my feelings for her to best friend and it's the best thing ever) soooo not everything is black and white, you have all the renbow coolores in between! Hope it helps!:)
for ever
Stream the one that got away by Katy perry ✨
good advice. respect your friend. you dont need to tell him everything, he probably already knows. he loves you but he's straight. it is possible to keep these friends if you have total respect and empathy for the one that you love. good luck.
Wow gorgeous and smart. You make some great points.
Don't ruin a friendship over it.
Good advice. Id also say that those strong feelings will fade over time and if the friendship is important then just wait it out. Been in that situation and gave myself the time to work through my feelings on my own.
I think a lot of gay men have been in this situation. I have. It's best to just accept what you can't change or even have and move on. A confession might change your friendship, so ask yourself; what is more important. Your feelings or your friendship?
Lost my best friend cause I told him my feelings he was ok with it in the beginning but yesterday he told me he didn't want to talk to me for some time cause he couldn't deal with it mentally so now I have cried 2 dayes and wishes that I could turn back time and undo it cause he has been my best friend for 9 years
Coolgaming Wow, sorry youre going throught that!
Are you talking again?
Absolutely AGREE with everything you said, Me myself I have had this great friend for MANY YEARS now, he's very tall, has always had a fit great body, white golden hair, and a face that melts everything around him, sometimes I feel compelled to ask him if his gorgeous looks don't hurt his face, he's handsome right down to the tiniest pore in his face, he's got big, strong hands and his arms are covered with this golden fur, I mean, whoa!!, needless to say the thought of "something more" has crossed my mind MANY, M . A . N . Y . times but without reading any books on the subject, without ever hearing it from other guys like you in your video, I myself arrived to that conclusion that if I had let him know my feelings for him and that I would love to experience further stuff with him, it MAY have created weird, uncomfortable, awkward feelings between us and I MAY have lost his friendship as a result, so what did I do?, I NEVER, NEVER EVER, let myself go and told him, what was the result?, I STILL have this GREAT, AWESOME, VERY RELYING, EXCELLENT and GOOD friend. We go out to eat together and had done fun friends stuff many times, his mom loves me and has even thanked me for advice I've given Henry in the past, life advice, especially with girls, he's so handsome women has been a heavy issue he has dealt with in his live. Henry has been an awesome friend and I plan to keep it that way.... forever, until I die.
YOU GOT LUCKY!!!
I have the situation. My best friend is an awesome straight guy, handsome, beautiful face and green eyes. The body is amazing!!!! But like I say, he is my best friend. He loves to talk to me and have great times with me. We even went to Madrid and we did a same tattoo together in the back of our ears (the infinity symbol as our friendship forever). Not to mention it was his first tattoo so that means a lot to me. Even when I text him or he text me every morning, we say each other “good morning handsome” hehehehe... I feel, of course about him but in other hand I don’t wanna ruin by telling him my feeling about him. I prefer the nice and greats friendship we have together. In a couple of months me and my boyfriend are moving to another city and my friend is moving with us 😊 . It’s soooo great to have this cain or friends around.
That’s beautiful
No offense, but that sounds tragic to me. Maybe the way you describe it, like it seems like a happy ending but it's not. But I'm sure you've moved on from that feelings.
@@iBaudan Wait that is 🔥
i have the same problem and i told him about my feelings, and until today, our relationship still alive, we still are friends, but definitely we are not that close like before... i hope in the future we become a close friends again, even more closer than before, cuz now he know the truth, and he deserves that.
Good advice.. I am experiencing that same situation right now.. he happens to be my co worker and he is in a 11 years relationship with his girlfriend and we are like together everyday at work so I freakin fell in love with him. I feel that he cares about me even though he knows that I am really feminine and every time we are together or beside me I can see butterflies, I hear wedding bells and chirping of the birds, in short it's true love that I have been fantasizing! LOL it's really difficult and I feel that he knows about my feelings already but of course I am trying my best not to show it.. well good luck to us,., It's really sad to fall in love with the wrong person. :( I hope to find my real happiness...
kc mariano und
Robert Miller und?
kc mariano Hello I hope you are having a wonderful day
kc mariano hang in there buddy I hope you find it too
kc mariano hello
Get over it. Hes not gonna be with you. It won't happen.
I’m going through this 😭 Thanks, you’ve helped me!!
I feel the same way before but I prayed to God and now I dnt have any crush on any straight guys no more...lol!
Same but the devil gave me another one😭😢
☝️as a 'straight friend' the situation I had was that I was open to something else...alas his hags interfered and threatened me. And made our interactions weird after that. I asked him if he wanted to get lunch and it got weirder...and no we don't talk anymore...He is a great guy and miss hanging out with him😞😞😞
Thank you for trying to be the friend we all needed :), guess these situations go both ways. Hopefully maybe you get to rekindle your relationship in the future!
I find people focus on the problems on the gay guy side of the situation. But sometimes itś the straight guy with the problems, or that he simply has just as many as the gay guy does. Everyone has a basic human right to their own thoughts and emotions. So if you want to feel love for this guy, do it. They're your feelings, and no one has a right to waltz into your head without your permission and toss them into the trash.
You can also always articulate your emotion using, "I feel, I want", but don't be surprised if you don't get the best response. And don't be surprised if people start putting up boundaries out of a homophobic and heterosexist "gut-type" response. People can listen to you communicate your wants and needs, if they choose not to unfairly judge, but they have to obligation to satisfy them.
And if they ask you to respect certain boundaries on the expression of what you feel and want from them, what other choice do you have? My primary point though, is that your gay thoughts and feelings, even if directed toward a straight person, are valid. Thoughts and feelings will always be valid, and can always be articulated to others in a direct, respectful adult manner. Anyone trying to tell you those gay thoughts and feelings don't deserve to see the sun under any circumstances is just being heterosexist.
And that just ain't cool. It's not "a problem" if you have feelings a guy does not want you to have, as long as you keep you behavior within a respectful adult manner type of territory. Because at the end of the day, thinking of gay thoughts and feelings as "a problem" is the same thing as thinking of queerness as "a problem".
It's not. This is just...how the guy makes you feel. Nothing more, nothing less. Sorry for the long post, but damn this is important!
Call Me Swivel Hips yeah my friend is gay and has a crush on me and he said its cool but he is really bummed out about it tho which makes me feel bad and idk what to do cause he says he cant rid of those feelings
Call u Swivel Hips + 7 months ago like ur comment.
Well personally, I wouldn’t wanna be friends with a guy knowing that he is constantly thinking of me in romantic and sexual ways, and fantasizing about me, probably masturbating to me behind close doors, and feeling antagonistic towards any girl I date and wishing he could sabotage our relationship, wishing he could turn me gay.
Yeah… no… it’s simply too uncomfortable and makes me feel terrible for both him, my gf, and myself. The friendship is pretty much over at that point, as painful as that is
This is why I can have gay friends but I prefer none of my close friends being gay, you may think it’s homophobic but I do it because it scares me to ever find myself in that situation, I rather save us all the pain and drama just in case.
But then again I’ve never been in that situation so I don’t know how I would react, hopefully it never happens.
@@Johnnysmithy24 There's...a lot to unpack there
@@callmeswivelhips8229 Lol true
That must’ve been unbelievably difficult for him
My humble advice is to move on
It’s like the wild fantasy that we have we wish if we could sleep with some straight men and we may fall in love with them as well but we can’t capture them
I advise that man to give his crush a couple of compliments or eventually tell him that he likes him and has a crush on him
And if he’s a caring person he’ll either reject you politely or he’ll even ask you out nobody knows many straight men could be flexible or at least appreciate good looking men
no one can capture anyone. even when people are married, they don't fully belong to each other lol. anyways, yeah! good advise! giving the crush a couple of compliments is always a good idea. it can make him feel more confident etc.
I grew up with mine, known each other for 10 years until we became roommates for 4 years. It's only until he got a girlfriend on our fourth year did I face this reality. I am genuinely am happy for him so I came to terms with it. The only issue is that the girlfriend felt weird about how close we were so we had to put distance to avoid tension.
Yes, Forget the sex it always gets in the way! Who needs it ( I know we all do ) but continue to love them anyway and open the self to reciprocity of love and see it on matter whatever form it takes.
If he's not uptight about it, spend as much time with him as you can just enjoying the proximity.
Just went through this with a coworker! He and I had a deep emotional affair that began on day two of his employment with me. We told each other that we loved each other on the third day after drinking together after work. Not a day went by after that, that we didn’t call, text or work with each other. Stupid me told him I had fallen in love with him, two months later. Things went to hell after that. He became guarded in public with me. Then we had a horrible, passionate text fight that lasted over 12 hours. Now, we’re not speaking at all. It hurts.
Mark, I really enjoy listening to your replies. Isn't the basis of a Crush, is that it stays in your mind?. And it isn't revealed to the other person? You were smart to keep your Crushes to yourself, and not let the other person know. Especially if the Crush is a Straight guy. You are so wise. Cheers....
Great video.
It is my story:
I wish I had learned how to accept him as him and not be all about me. It was my issue. But, I had not experienced this before and had come to a place I HAD to resolve MY issue...knowing it could end the friendship. It did. I dealt with it the Only way I knew at the time. . .I was honest with both of us. He was Amazing. He was clear. He was certain. I acknowledged this was my issue a d I'd deal with it. I literally moved away.
I was in the process of looking for a house to buy. It turned out to be an hour away. We stopped working out together. We stopped hiking and river rafting. He stopped taking my calls. I live in an amazing town in the Perfect house...
I lost the companionship of my friend. He will always be a friend in heart.
The next time (unfortunately I imagine there will be a next time...I identify as straight and I hang out with straight men.) The next time I'll have to figure how to keep my friend and keep my emotions in a separate place.
Sometimes you develop these awkward crushes and you really didn't WANT to go there. You find yourself fighting those feelings and it's not always possible to avoid the person -- say a team mate or co-worker. I've been in situations like that.
Honestly, what's the likelihood your straight crush is laying on his bed daydreaming about you for hours interposed with crying into a pillow for hours because he wants you and needs you in his life so badly? Hmm ... 🤔
Never make someone a priority who only views you as an option.
I love that little kiss he does at the end of his videos xD
I'm straight and my Best Friend is Gay and our Friendship goes way back to October of 1986 & we're like brothers.
This is where I'm currently at. I'm traumatized 😔
Going through this myself right this very moment. :(
Thanks For Posting THIS And Thanks for the Advice Because I'm Going thru the same exact thing, NOW I know how to Handle it..
It's really painfull im going thorough it ... Its been 12 years .. the problem is that i couldn't find a right guy in UAE... it almost dying every day coz we working together and now he knows that im gay ... i did every thing to get rid on it but its fail..😭😢
Very good advice. One of those things thats better left unsaid if you value your friendship.
Probably just no different from having a crush on another gay guy who's not into you? Just get over it? It's called unrequited crush/lust/love. Everybody on earth of all orientations has had it. Millions of songs have been written about it.
Doc Feelgood except we're talking about a friend not some hot co-worker...
And a lot of people of all orientations have had those, too. I actually have had a few and one with my straight best friend that was intense and that almost totally ruined our friendship. I had to take a break from him to get over him but he never got completely over the whole thing.
I've had one of those with my closest frient. I completely ruined our friendship, and I dind't even need to tell him anything. It's been over 2 years since we don't see each other, and it's very weird just the thought of doing so. That really hurt.
Thank you very much for your advice. Friendship is more important than my personal thing. But I can't control myself; being too excited and laugh a lot when I was near him. It make me feels unconfortable. So I am trying to ignore him as I afraid he would notice me or he already has.
Thierry je
taime
Im going through this now. Its always happen to me when i get too closed to someone. Asking myself if Should i go away from him. It hurts me but i just want to erase the feelings .
I have a similar issue. Crushing hard (not like that) on a straight friend, my best guy friend actually who is engaged to a female. Someone suggested I'm not "in love" with him, but in love with the IDEA of him. Which makes sense but doesn't. Because even when we're not around each other, I think about him. And physically hanging out only makes these feelings worse...
I can feel you
Ive been there, and I was alone, dealt it wrongly, it basicly had ruin my life.
Thanks :) I moved on from this fantasy and have moved on to a different part of my life, but when my friend and I are back home and hang out together, I feel all those feelings running back..what to do?
I can feel this,really
Its not always what you are that matters but who you are that makes the difference. You just may not be his type. That doesn't mean he's not into guys he's just not into you like that. A lot of guys present themselves as being straight according to whom they are around.
Shit, I've had this stupid crush on this man that's 9 years older than me. Been making me crazy and I sorta know I would never be with him, he's older than me and plus it's really difficult to date someone who's still in school. Deep down I hoped he liked me too and it drove me insane thinking about it. A few minutes ago I went and stalked him ( really difficult to find someone if you only know half of their name ). I managed to find him on FB after a few hours of searching and his profile picture was a picture of him with his arms around a girl. Sure I was disappointed and I told my heart, get over it, save yourself the pain, it wasn't ever going to happen anyway. I should have just gave up then but I still wanted to go through his info. It was then when I found out that he's actually Bi. I was instantly crushed, my heart felt this odd happiness but yet it was also painfully numb. The chances of me being with him is still low but I just can't get over him, not yet anyway.
This is an excellent advice, Marc. A mark of a true Southern gentleman. I, too, hailed from Mississippi--the Delta.
Great advice.. i think my friend is open minded with lots of intimate conversation but after listening to you. Im starting to think his just open minded, cause " I CANNOT ANYMORE " its too painful
i’m happy I found this video because I now know what NOT to do lol
you're a good advice giver. good to see this side of you
Good advice. We're you straight crushes In you personal or professional life or both?
My personal life , I have not had many work related crushes.
Thanks for the response Marc
Very good advice. When my friend had a crush on me, It didn't really helped our friendship. It was getting very difficult
Falling in love with a straight dude? You are wasting your time
I’ve had a crush on this guy since high school fast forward 11 years to today and the guy is Sexy as hell. If guys see him they would probably think he is ugly, but he’s still Hot to me! We were never super close but I still think about him. He dated a girl from Sophomore year til about 2021. Now he’s with a new girl and I’m really happy for him. Him and his new lady make a really great couple and I hope they get married. Even though we don’t talk I still consider him one of my good friends. I always love DPO! ❤️
Being on this stage, while watching this, is sadly... Excruciating
I fell in love with my straight arab friend . He know that i did love him he think its not a problem but he say iff i kiss him ore try something the friendship is over .. its hard to let it all go .. but you need to choose .. give it a chance and kiss him and maybe it works ore maybe the friendship is over .. ore just deal with your feelings . get over it in a way and keep this great friendship .. i need this friendship... iff that straight best friend likes you more then friends ans know your gay than he will kiss you .. my advice get over it dont say goodbye to friendship 😏😉
Was kinda hoping that he’d just say “give up”😂😂
I can relate to this kind of thing as I experienced it myself and still can not move on from this torturing feeling..but for me, I just want him to be happy and trying as my best to support him..
Este hombre es hombre es hermoso. Seria un placer y honor tenerlo al lado de uno. Se toma tiempo de comunicar y orientar a la gente. Muy bien se pudo mantener ajeno a todo, pero que bien que se haya tomado tiempo en compartir y orientar. Kudos!
Going through this at the moment plus the guy is Russian and I’m Malaysian and currently he is visiting tomorrow for freaking whole month.. freaking have no idea how to deal with this feelings 😪
My advice is to keep loving live know any boundaries
I'm a 50 year old married gay man (married to another guy) but I've had a crush on a co-worker for about a year now. He's friends with me and my partner and things he's said to me made me wonder if he was a little bi-curious. But he recently realized his drinking was a problem and went into detox for 6 days. Part of his drinking was due to his wife being very "cold" as he put it. He's confided in me because I'm more emotionally sympathetic than my 60 year old partner. This guy is 42 and his wife is 37 and they have 3 young kids. Well after his detox he found out that his wife went out drinking one night and left their 3 kids home by themselves overnight! The kids are 11, 8 and 6. So he ended up drinking a couple beers and then confronted his wife about leaving the kids by themselves overnight. She flew into a rage and attacked him. He held her back but she managed to bite him and bruise him pretty badly. And she got bruises on her wrists from him holding her back. Their 11 year old son started hitting his dad so he raised his fist but would never hit him. He just told him to back off. But the wife called the police and he was cuffed and put in jail for the night. Then he walked to a friends house and spent the weekend there. Then me and my partner offered to let him stay with us. So he's been here since March 20th and the police put a restraining order on him so he can't see his wife or oldest son. But he can still Face Time with his two younger kids. Me and this co-worker have also been working out for the last couple months. So unlike most straight crushes my straight crush is a friend and now he's living in our house. One day on the way home from the gym I told him I kinda suspected he might be bi-curious but he said he isn't. And then he joked that I was probably gonna kick him out because he isn't what I wanted him to be. I just said "Nah." But it's a daily struggle because I'm giving him all my support while he and his wife have decided to separate. He's very angry and is already calling her his "ex-wife." His first week here was very hard because he kept wanting me to check and see if she was on Facebook and stressing about why she was on it so much. So then he downloaded a couple dating apps and has been chatting with a few women. And he even went out on a date with one on Saturday. But he said he just wanted to go out and have some fun. She had to pick him up though because his wife has the car. But on his date he just went out to eat and then bowling. The night didn't last as long as he thought it would. But again he said he doesn't want to jump into a relationship after 5 years of marriage and knowing his now ex-wife for 17 years. But I don't think he realizes how hard it is to deal with when he's showing me women he's chatting with and asking my opinion. I've been telling him that my relationship with my partner is pretty cold too and I wouldn't mind hugs from him now and then. And he does give me the occasional hug and I offer him a hug when he seems to be having a hard day. Like today he found out his wife won't let him see the two younger kids even though they are not part of the restraining order. But MAN this is a daily struggle. Part of me wants to tell him how much I struggle but then it would be so awkward with him continuing to live here. And I'm afraid it would affect our friendship and doing stuff like going to the gym together. And He's a tall (6' 4" dirty blond hair and blue eyed guy) and I'm a very short 5' 4" brown hair and brown eyed guy who is stocky but very built too. He likes to bragg to people how I can lift a lot more weight than him at the gym and he will grab my bicep and tell me to flex for people. And of course I love the attention from him. And of course a part of my mind wants to say that maybe he has a tiny attraction to me. But then I snap back to reality and know that nothing will probably ever happen. I even told him during that conversation on the way home from the gym that my fantasies mainly just involve me giving him pleasure and not having him do anything to me. I said "Like just put on some straight porn and maybe jerk you off." He just said "Oh geeze." If I was single I don't think he would find my attraction as awkward but knowing I am legally married to my partner does make it strange for him. He even thinks it's weird that I check out guys on the Grindr and Scruff apps. Ugh! This is SO rough and depressing at times.
The answer is you are wasting your time!
Finally another Marc who spells the name right! 😀
I feel much better now. I don't think you gave particularly good advise, especially emphasizing a "parting of the ways" over and over. A real friend won't run scared because you like or love them. A real friend is there to be a friend and to have a friend in you. A real friend will potentially shoot you down, but only a person who doesn't appreciate you would want to part ways in that scenario. I've gone through this with straight and gay guys, and straight women. Bringing it up, being honest... those are signs of friendship. Leaving the friendship after a serious moment like that... it doesn't seem very friendly. If they value who you are, and you are open and honest, then a reveal like that won't be very surprising. Just saying.
Hey guys I love a guy who is my classmate as well as my roommate in the hostel. He is so cute and hot and handsome but he is fully straight. He loves a girl and always stays on chat with her. I'm even unable to express my feelings in front of him. I'm afraid of him, his thoughts, his rejection and of society. Kindly help me out with any best idea. I love him so much 😢😢😢... I love him so badly and even he is living with me in a single room I'm unable to kiss him 😭. How sad 😢
I’m so going through this now,he doesn’t talk to people much but he gives me his full attention whenever I throw things out there for him to engage into..he seems very comfortable being touchy-feely also very comfortable in who he is ..example of his comfort level..he wanted to show me the proper way to “choke out someone “ and he kept trying to physically show me through embracing me like a hug almost 😩😵😚😍 amongst plenty other times where he was so close to me certain girls would make faces and say little comments like 🧐😟”what is he doing(being so close to me I assume)” because they know I’m gay...another time where I said “ I smell mosquito repellent and he stuck his arm directly under my nose in front of everybody and asked “is it me”...but yep ,he just sits in his corner quietly at work and eventually looks up from whatever hes doing to occupy himself , with an alluringly intense look in his eyes whenever we connect...deep sighhhhhh...I hate this
Yeah I just got heart broken by someone cried so many tears
Hope no one I know finds about this comment
I’m sorry bout that man, I’m about to go through your situation probably.
@@idostuff.9786 Just tell him you're gay. Chances are you won't need to let him go. He'll let go for you 😳
Its tough, and like Marc was in a similar situation and dealt with it in the same way. Its pretty good advice.
My advice to Brent is to cut ties and begin to distance yourself as a friend. No phone calls, no texts and no hanging out. For looking at that pretty face and body will only remind you of what you can not have and you don't need to torture yourself like that. And if he asks why you are being distant, tell him the TRUTH. And when you do tell him it's gonna get WEIRD but that's o.k. because by then you'll be in the process of phasing him out of your life.
IMHO.
Why would you tell a straight friend you have a crush on him? I mean. He's straight.
You cant help who you fall in love with and telling him may help you move on, it can frustrate you and fall for him more if you dont tell him, also a lot of the time straight guys fit our ideal type and standards, whereas gay guys constantly fail to meet our expectations and no we aint gonna lower them.
I know this video has been posted for a while, but i just want to share that: you can’t make someone want you! Understand something better is coming and you have to believe that! Its time to make a change for the better and raise your vibrations to connect to higher frequencies to attract the love you deserve. I bet the moment you’re happy and with someone that cares for you the way you care for them, the other person will be singing a different song! Love always A Z ♥️
Also, when someone leaves you out in the cold, alone with these feelings to fester and cook inside you is not love! That’s trauma and complete abandonment, and by not accepting that, you abandon yourself.
Welcome to my life. I know two straight men who are emotionally intelligent, caring, attentive, and full of love.
They know I'm gay but don't bother.
Sometimes, I wonder if women feel the same when they meet a wonderful man who's gay.
Good advice, it NEVER works out and its awkward as hell