Absolutely not! To disregard your emotions is to disregard your humanity. Loving a person is amazing! There's a difference between love and love of being loved.
@@burakdeyin Same dude. And I can't complain about it cuz we're just mates lol. Just seeing him online, makes my heart beats faster and when he don't answer me inmediately, I feel terribly under the weather.
I fell in love with my straight best friend too, and I told him I liked him and he eventually asked me out because he was curious. We were in a relationship for 3 years but he always wanted it to be a secret because he didn't consider himself gay or bi. That he fell in love with me because I was his best friend. But being shoved into the closet again was horrible. And after we broke up he told me that I would be the only guy he would ever date, that never again. And now we don't even talk anymore 😭💔😭
That's the problem with having random guy 'best friends'. It's also the reason why I CHOOSE who I befriend in the first place. They're mostly gay guys and women and some guys I KNOW I'd never be attracted to even in my next life lol It's a great investment, sealing a wall in 'friendship' and nothing beyond.
Forget about talking to him again. He's sooooooo not worth it. Never was. He will marry a female & have kids & pretend he doesn't even know you. So, so, so, so much baggage. You'll never win. Find yourself a Great Gay guy who's crazy about you.
Every. Single. One. Of my crushes ever. And the guys I like. And the guys that are ok or are attracted to me awkwardly, are straight. Basically my love life is a total disaster so far. Godammit!
Heh welcome to my life. It seems to be a cycle for me. I've even gotten to a point where I confessed. What sucks is that some of them give so many mixed signals but I have definitely learned my lesson. It only took like five freakin times.
wimbletone OMG I can totally relato to those damn mixed signals. I mean why some guys do certain things? It's so frustrating it makes me sick. I went through a lot since I stupidly fell for a straight guy because of all the attentions -?- he gave to me and it sucked so much. Hopefully I'll never experience something like that again.
I think most of us (again, i said MOST not ALL) gay/bi people have had feelings for one of our "best friends" and ended up either heartbroken and/or depressed for a short/long period of time. Experienced that twice myself, first time 5 years ago and last time 9 months ago. The thing is, both times, my actual longtime best friend warned me both times and I ended up going in anyways just to end up heartbroken and depressed to the point that both times I fucked up at school because of it. People are just gonna do their thing because we're blinded by the situation and "dreams" of how it might end up when most times it actually just fucks you up either it's in a short period of time or later on in life. That being said, if anyone struggles with that same kind of situation I can only tell you good luck, and I hope you get what you want, or wish that you feel better because you will move on. It's hard but you can live without them just as you did before knowing them. You don't have to erase the thought of them because they're a part of who you are but it will become just a memory.
When you're young, inexperienced and naive, feelings towards the wrong person is common. I think we've all been through it at some point or another; being LGB just adds another layer to the complications. We just don't know that there are other people out there that are better than the one person that we're focusing on and being LGB, we think there's no one out there for us even though there is. So of course we're going to try to hang onto the one possibility, no matter how slim - it's stupid but understandable.
this is insanely similar to what happened to me. good Friends really good Friends feelings realizing I kinda had a crush on him and the fights, oh the fights
Drunk me once told my girl squad and some other girls at a party that I was bi and have always been. One of my BFF was raised in a religious family and said "but you would never actually be attracted by a girl, right ?" Sigh
Basically the exact same thing happened to me in middle school with my best friend, except I never told him. He started dating a high-school freshman and I was so mad I just stopped talking to him completely. Five years later it turns out he's bi and had a crush on me and he was so hurt that I stopped being his friend and we are just starting to rekindle our friendship. After five years.
I live this somewhat close. I love my best friend. He knows I'm gay, and is sooooo supportive. We are very close and have close moments. Nothing sexual though. It's so hard for me to continue my life because I feel something between us and yet it might just be very close friendship. It's hard to move on when you love someone.
He doesn't want to lose your friendship. Dangling carrot of potential love will keep you there. When he finds a suitable replacement you will see him as he is...someone who doesn't love you. I would put money on it ...if you gave him a cold shoulder ...he ramps up the '' missing you', closeness and hints. if you hold your ground...he will try a kiss but say he isnt sure. if you hold on...he will say he feels rushed and lay on guilt trip. if he really cared, he would have asked about your feelings before you get to cold shoulder 3.
@@michiganyes our friendship has only gotten stronger. We love each other so much, but we built a brotherly bond. He is so much open now with sexuality, we are able to have open discussions without being awkward. He accepts me 100% and is there to listen when need it.
I fall in love with straight guys all the time. For some reason I feel like everyone around me is bi. I am bisexual myself, I actually have a girlfriend and for some time I had a huge crush on a guy that work with me, of course I wasn't going to tell my girlfriend anything and obviously not the guy either. So here I am, just trying to get through life not trying to fall in love or like two different people at the same time.
Whew gurl. My problem is that I tell my straight guy friends that Im gay, but eventually they warm up to the fact that they want to experiment. Im no one's guinea pig.
I agree with fsociety. Like if I start liking someone I instantly assume "straight". I don't pursue them and it's normally just a little crush that will fade away but still annoying none the less.
When I was first discovering my sexuality I developed a massive crush on a straight guy, but over the years I've developed this "immunity" too. If I know that there's absolutely no chance of a guy liking me back, I lose interest really quickly. If I know that a guy likes guys, that's all part of what makes him attractive to me - with straight guys there's no "attraction spark", if that makes sense?
I can definitely realte right now, and I always warn my gay and bi friends about falling in love with someone who is straight or soemone's whose sexuality you're unsure of. I've been in love with a guy since eighth grade, we're seniors now. Because of this, I find it so hard to stay iunterested in people I date and I don't even try to date anyone anymore. Seriously, avoid falling in love with straight people to the best of your ability, it fucks you up.
I had a huge crush on this French exchange student and he's so cute but so funny and I just was in love I think I'm pretty over him but at the same time I still talk to him and think about him You know when you don't just wanna make out you would love to cuddle and just sit together you know?
I definitely understand. Mine is a guy I hardcore vibe with and it sucks that I'll never experience anything romantic with him. I don't think I've ever one sexually fantasized about him, its always been cute couple shit.
This video hit me like a ton of bricks. I fell in love with two straight guys in my twenties and was so sad and depressed for years. Many times, I had a hard time getting out of bed because I cried my eyes out. I do believe they both know how I felt for them and struggled to deal with their own feelings. It took me five years to get over the second guy, but as time went on, I was able to get over him. as much as I could. I still think about him from time to time, and still would wish we could be partners. I hope he is happy, and wish him nothing but the best. I have changed so much since that time back in 2001. Since then, I have given up cigarettes and alcohol, and gone on to receive my Bachelor's degree and Master's degree from the University of Minnesota. Recently, I applied to a Doctoral program and am trying to date people who will love me for me. I will always have a special place in my heart for you James. Thank you for the video!
Man i can so relate. I fell in love with my straight best friend and it was awful. He knew i was gay and I never let him know my feelings. There was absolutely no point as he was straight and the friendship was too important to me. So I just decided to act as normal as possible and wait it out and now that those feelings have subsided and I’m back in that friend zone I’m so much happier. I almost had to cut him off as it was so hard to deal with!
I think a lot of people have experienced unrequited love. Good on you for handling it with a degree of grace. Anytime you don't think or know if your feelings are returned.... its a good sign to reevaluate.
Interesting story. Been there. I would point out that the experience didn't actually destroy your life; in fact, in your words, it made you stronger. What the experience DID do was make you feel all kinds of confusing and painful things, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. The things we experience as negative actually heighten our ability to experience positive things. Emotional maturity means riding the wave whether it's high or low, not avoiding the water. Easier said than done when mental illness is at play, but still the goal is to be "present," not to be "happy." Good for you for being so brave and forthright in speaking your truth. I, for one, appreciate it! Thanks.
I feel really grateful that my straight friend just turned me down when I told her I had a crush on her. :| Leading people on is not cool. I hope you guys managed to maintain your friendship though!!
I went through something similar to this quite recently. And I still have feelings for the guy and haven't gotten over him yet. Watching this has inspired me to try to move on. Thank you so much!!
I'm in a similar situation!! Not with being gay, but I go to U of M, I'm a sophomore, and I've been struggling with depression ever since I got here. Last semester I went home almost every weekend, kept ties with all my old friends, and didn't go out much. I was also dealing with feelings I had for someone back home that I couldn't be with... so I can totally relate to the isolation and an unwillingness to move on!
Thank you for your story. Currently going through a very similar situation and it is slowly eating away at me. I know i should leave it all alone as nothing will/can come of this. As cliche as this sounds i can not get him out of my mind/heart, at this stage it feels like a long way back to normality as things have gotten a little sad and depressing. It will pass but for now it fxxken sucks big time. Hearing you made it through is just what i needed.
I'm so glad you finally got out of that situation. I've been through it, though it never got physical, and it does suck and put you down. I was relieved to hear you came out of it stronger and you were through with that stuff. I'm so happy for you and I hope you continue feeling better. :) Also, can't help but admit you're an angel. :3 :3
This is what people dream of. This is so romantic and cute. Its sad on how it ended but the story is just super sweet. Its true tho, things like this will change you. Either in a bad or good way. This is my situation rite now
Amazing story mate! Good for you in learning and being strong. Definitely one thing we should all know - Feelings should be always mutual on each sides and no one should have to try super hard to be loved or notice by someone.
Kenny, I am so proud of you for getting help and saying no when he came crawling back at the end. It's hard to escape toxic people when you love them and they have such a hold on you, especially if the relationship is secretive or convoluted. I relate to this a lot. I'm bisexual, struggle with depression and anxiety, and have had a similar toxic relationship. You give me hope for eventually getting past someone that's messed with my feelings for over a year. I finally stood up and said no more, but I'm still hurt. I hope you're much happier now and thank you for sharing
This is happening to me again, I thought that from my last experience on college I was never going to experience this again but know I’m struggling with all delusional, thoughts and self-deception. Wish I could join a support group where I could talk all these.
I started crying when he started talking about how he was SO sure the person would like him back. That's the feeling right there. And when he started talking about how his life started getting better for him tears just started coming out because that's so true. The entire experience is similar to me. Just move on!! You'll feel SO much better about yourself!! I'm glad this video is shared!! This is truth!! Do not put yourself in this position. Distance yourself. Don't get close to people you know you can't have.
Your story is so spot on with my personal one too...he was a new student, coming from another HS, and it was my senior year as well...at first, I was so shy to even talk to him because he became so popular the first day (he was attractive that all my friends would always flock to him, he was a gentlemen towards anyone, an incredible basketball player & he was #1 for his GPA), and after the semesters change, I actually got to sit close to him in math class & we began to talk, then in other classes we got paired up for projects...and over those little hangouts we had, I started to realize I'm falling for him hard. Fast forward, the end of senior year, graduation, I chose to go to the same college as he did because we were planning that we'd get a dorm together(which didn't happen)and for me, I just did NOT want to lose this friendship out of anything. Freshmen year of college, I was getting depressed, like super depressed...it was hitting November, and of course I wasn't out or confident with my sexuality, but I still couldn't speak up and say anything. I finally had the courage to write a LONG letter to him (i even asked him to give me his email so I could send him something), explaining everything, music that reminded me of him, and just how I felt bad that I got closed to his girlfriend (yes...omg, she was actually a childhood friend, SHOCKER!) and she didn't even realize nothing! In the end, it was the same as yours Kenny (well sort of), he told me that it's fine I liked him, and nothings going to change, but he doesn't have THOSE feelings towards me. Now its our 3rd year in college & after that event, my relationship with him actually got stronger, like yeah~ we aren't as touchy touchy as before (sounds weird but idk how to explain it...sort of like handshake > long hugs) haha, but we always talked about our personal lives, and till this day we still hangout. I AGREE WITH YOU THOUGH! It brought so much pain & I knew if I dwelled with it more, I would've just gotten worse. Such a long comment, sorry! Anyways, thanks Kenny for sharing this ^_^! It's very happy to hear that you've moved on & doing great
I like how sincere you talk about those matters, you don't sound like someone who's trying to be funny or looking for pity, just honest and straightforward.
I’m currently going through some of this. I’ve a dear friend that I’ve had feelings for, for awhile now. To my knowledge, he’s straight. I’ve known him since we were in sophomore year of high-school. I didn’t have many friends growing up for a number of reasons. Senior year of high-school, I just remember one occasion where he invited a bunch of people over to his house for a party, and he’d invited me as well. By the party’s end, most of the friend group had left, but I was still there for a few more minutes with him, cuz they’d all gotten their driver’s licenses, but I was still working on getting mine (still am years later at 23). By this point, I’d already come out to him and some of the others, and I had their support. I hadn’t come out to family yet though. Once my dad arrived to pick me up, my friend offered to bring me to the door. I just considered it a courtesy of him trying to be a good host. However, when we got to the door, my dad was there. Now, my parents-especially at that point in life-we’re very critical about knowing who my friends were, and introducing themselves to the parents. Bit embarrassing, but I know they meant well. My friend’s dad had shown behind us, just cuz he was wondering who we were speaking to at the door. As I was saying goodbye, internalized homophobia had me policing myself, just trying to give him a handshake. Instead though, he gave me hug that I wasn’t really prepared for. Him taking that initiative-in front of both our fathers mind you-I mean, thank god it was dark cuz I was embarrassed. Happy, but not knowing how to process it. It’s been about 5-6 years since this event, and I just don’t know how to process it. I’ve wanted to tell him for awhile that I’ve feelings for him, and I’ve wanted to hang out more with him. At the same time though, I fear I’d destroy our friendship. I met up with him last spring just to catch up a bit, and I asked him if he’d met anyone, basically trying to get a read on his type. He said he’s been trying to meet women but he hasn’t had much luck, either people not being who they claimed to be, or trying to cheat on their partners with him. He said his type was mostly fit women…so that of course felt like a brick in my stomach. He’s so busy training for the military and working on his undergrad though, I don’t know when’s the best time to tell him. I try to reach out every so often if he’d like to hang out again, but I hardly get a response just because of his schedule. Doesn’t help that I’m still learning to drive so it’s been difficult to even meet up, and I refuse to tell him I’ve a crush on him via text. I just don’t feel it’s fair to anyone to do that. I’ve never been in a relationship or experience any intimacy at this point in my life, and it just makes me feel useless. I’ve wanted to pursue a relationship, but it’s hard for me to entertain dating anyone if I still carry feelings for my friend. It’s not fair to anyone. But then I pretty much know the answer I’ll receive if I confess to him, so it just leaves me feeling miserable. Most recent time we talked, he’d gone on a trip to meet some friends from military training in Germany, which hurt more tbh.
Thanks to your story, I made up my mind and "ended" my crush on my best friend by telling straight to his face. It all ended pretty well actually. Even though he had already known that i was bi, he was shocked at first, and i tried my best not to make it more awkward, i told him that it was just a crush, but i still wanted to confess to him because i didn't want to make it a secret and wanted understanding from him. Everything turned out fine after that, we still go to the movies and do all besties stuff, and i try my best not to cross the line between us. It seems hard at first, but now i actually am grateful for that lil' crush of mine, even though it was a soul- crushing failure, it turned out to be a funny memory between us, and if i could change anything of it, i probally wouldn't. If that guy you like isn't homophobic, just tell him your feelings, it would be hard, but you'll probally make a laugh of it after that.
Whew...thanks for sharing. So many of us have experiences like this. I don't know who gets more damaged by the process. But yup, been there, done that, got the "we can't do this again message," did it again. It was like intimacy with a lot of boundaries...emotional and otherwise. And like the few other UA-cam videos I've seen like this, and my own experience, yes they each go on to find wives, have children, and seemingly thrive. Meanwhile, our paths are a bit more ragged.
Agreed...back yourself out of love. My straight buddy doesn't get it. I see he's hurt when I ignor him. (On purpose) He says I'm complicated. Avoid the heart ache. Sometimes I think he just wants his ego stroked .. yes even from a Gay Guy.
So similar to my experience I started ignoring him on purpose because there is no way I will keep filling his emotional cup and stroking his ego by giving him all of my attention. I know he is upset about how distant I have made myself but I had to do what's best for me.
I love your videos and I'm a frequent viewer. You making videos about mental health and being vulnerable is a godsend in a world full of hate and disrespect. Respectfully though, I hope you didn't out your old best friend with this video. I figure you probably don't because the videos I've seen, you've been very respectful but I know sometimes those old feelings come back and we get caught up in them especially as it pertains to mental health. I know that could be hard for some people - especially people from smaller towns and in non-accepting areas of our world. Thanks so much for being so vulnerable and starting conversations around mental health and the importance of self-care.
I seriously NEEDED this video. I have gone through this before and I am currently in it again just with another guy. I am trying to go though the steps that I did the last time but so far it's not working. I think I love the current guy a lot more than I did the first (which I didn't think was possible). Your video really spoke to me and has given me new hope that I will come out of this stronger. Thank You!
I fell in love with my best friend as well. I've been in love with him for years. So a few weeks ago I told him how much I feel about him, and he shut me down. He hasn't spoken to me since. So now I'm dealing with these feelings by myself, and I'm also upset about him breaking all contact. My story's complicated, but that's the main plot of it. I've been there by his side through the thick of it.
I want to correct something: instead of '''don´t fall in love with straight guys''' it is better to say don't fall for guys that don't feel the same about you. Cause i fell for a gay guy who wasn't attracted to me and that hurts the same as falling for a straight guy. Being on the friend zone sucks.
I fell in love with my best friend. He is straight. I met him at work in 2015 , but we didn't become friends right away... we became closer to each other when we starting sharing secrets about some struggles we've been through in our lives. From that moment on, he's confided everthing in me... every secret... but I didn't know I had feelings for him until I started missing him everytime he didn't message me, or the days he didn't talk to me. He quit his job in June this year, and I was down in the dumps... when he told me he'd quit, he came to me and gave me the warmest hug and said goodbye. I thought we wouldn't see each other again or that due to the fact that we weren't working together anymore, we would grow apart. I cried a lot... but he continued messaging me for some time... but the frequency wasn't the same, mainly because he starting dating a girl. One day, I decided to tell him how I felt, and he was totally fine with me. He said that it's natural, and it wouldn't change our friendship... but after this day, I decided I couldn't keep with this. I made a decision on moving on and stop talking to him. I deleted his phone number and blocked him. We spent 2 months without talking to each other, and I hadn't heard anything from him. When it was August 23rd this year (one day after my birthday), he messaged me on Facebook wishing me a happy birthday. When I saw his message, I started crying a river... I couldn't even type a reply! But then I replied to him, and we started talking again. I reconnected with him... I mean, his friendship. And today we talk every single day. I still have feelings for him, and sometimes I get angry when he doesn't reply to me. Sometimes I wonder if I should end this friendship and move on... but I think it wouldn't be fair to him as he always respected my sexuality and my feelings... and he says that I am one of the most real friends he has. I wanna keep him in my life... I don't wanna be apart from him, even if it would cost a high price (my freedom). I really don't know if I'm doing right... but I just can't let him go. That's my story...
OMG I have been searching for something like this for days. It's 4;20 am so you probably know why I'm not sleeping. The damage has been done, but your video helped me.
Although I have a BI history, I identify as gay. Still, this is a very interesting topic to me. I had a period when I would fall in love with straight men, and some of them actually fell in love with me for a little while, but, of course, they were toxic for me psychologically. Even worse were the straight blokes who were flirtatious, but had no intention of ever going to bed with me. Finally I had a few 100% gay affairs, and they eventually led me to my current BF, a very handsome, very honest, very gay Belgian muscleman (my type). So intelligent, so loving, so sincere. So, these stories DO have happy endings.
@@douwemusic , not true. It's a sexual orientation. Straight people only have sex/attraction to the opposite sex. That's what straight/heterosexual means. If it's more than black and white, then you are bisexual.
I could relate, I fell for one of my best friends in high school and I was upset about leaving HS and going to college because of the idea of not seeing him everyday anymore. So everyday after class I'd go home, or go swimming, or even go to the transit shopping mall where he needed to transit at, in hopes to seeing him by chance, and one time I actually called him to grab some dinner. And like you said, I'd been missing out a lot on half of college freshman year's fun and I now if I think back, I was really a definition of young and pretty dumb
If I've said it once, I've said it a billion times. Point #1 - you are powerless to control who you're attracted to (and who you're not attracted to). Point #2 - there's no difference being attracted to a straight person and being attracted to gay person who's just not into you. I hope this sets every-one straight.
Thank you so much for describe exactly what's happening with me... and also, for show that we all know what's coming next. First time here, I've loved the channel. 😍. Congrats
Ik a lot of people might say its to yearly for me to fall in love. I'm 16 and I had a crush on my best friend and maybe still have. he's a straight guy in a grade higher than me. him and all my friends know I'm bisexual. I had accepted the fact that he was straight and could never have anything for me but I still liked him. like a lot. I finally told one of my friends about but it was no help. and I want to tell him but I don't want to ruin our friendship .and every day he does something to make me smile I like him even more and I hate it. it's killing me. I want to stop but it's hard. I see him everyday.
It's better to love them as a friend and keep your love as a secret. You'll ruin a friendship and that's the part that sucks, it's either you walk away or stay and learn to cope, love and accept them for who they are. It's hard but just know you'll eventually find someone.
@@indwaty7747 yeah, it's not easy but u gotta learn how to accept them for who they are u know. Accept the fact they can't reciprocate ur feelings because they are not attracted to you in that way. Me and him are still in a good friendship because of our respect for each other and keeping boundaries. Focus on you my friend🙏 you'll find your someone one day🙏 I still love him but I kinda keep my boundaries and I accept him for who he is. I love him unconditionally, even though it's still hard. But you got this🙏🙏❤️ even he knows that I have deep feelings for him, he’s been knowing but because he doesn’t judge me for who I am, in a way we both love each other. Just in our own ways but we respect each other and there’s nothing more greater than that. Having a best friend that knows how u really feel and still stands by your side🙏🏼❤️
I was taking German in Germany in a language school when I met a younger American guy (I’m British) who was good looking enough but not my type. He was always calling me, and likes to talk to me a lot before classes, he liked to talk a lot about himself. Honestly I found him irritating, especially that he didn’t want to speak German with me instead of English so we could practice. Still I liked him fine just like any other classmate. But later after the course was over, which took 2 months, I started to miss him and find myself wondering what he was doing. So I spoke to him on the phone, he was excited that I called and wanted to hang out to go to visit another city. We did go and had a lot of fun visiting pubs and going sitghtseeing. And then at one point that day, I felt that I have fallen in love with him, I haven’t mentioned that I was gay to him at any point before, because well I don’t like to mention it to strangers who I don’t have any interest in. I knew he was straight, yet I couldn’t help but fall in love with him. Later we didn’t see each other before he called me to tell me he was flying back home, I wished him farewell and when he hung up I found my self sobbing that I’m probably not going to see him again and that he will never know that I loved him.
you tell him but you can either lose him or keep him. ->if you lose him at least your sufferings like liking a straight guy will be gone or you won't see him with a girl/boy which hurts af. -> if he likes you back then happy ending!. And if you don't tell him you'll get hurt eventually like learning in the future that he liked you but it's too late because he's engaged. Or you'll get hurt seeing him with someone.
Kenny - i really admire your strength! On the surface, it seems like a lot of time and anguish for nothing... But you really turned this heart ache/break in to something great for you. It drove you to live more honestly, and you became happier! you know you are worth more than that. So your time wasn't wasted at all, it was trial by fire. And you are still young and terrific looking! Thank you for telling your story.
Please fall in love with straights! Just remember that nothing will come of it. But this suffering will make you deeper and more compassionate. The fact is that you can’t order a heart, and gays, as a rule, fall in love with the most masculine guys, who are usually straight. This is the first traumatic experience, but it is very valuable. There is useful pain. It is necessary to survive it.
Preach 😂 but these so called straights really gotta stop leading us tf on they know what they are doing. They can play with this Boy bussy but never my emotions.
What a terrible thing to have happen while coming out and being in college. Glad you are on the other side of all this! Keep this coming! You are really good.
I am bi and I have no problem with straight people. There's literally no difference between straight people and gay/bi people, the only differences are in who we like.
This is a never ending cycle for me. I never expect it but it comes out of nowhere. He’s straight and there’s no way we would ever work but I still have these feelings for him. I would never act on them because the last thing I want to do is make him uncomfortable or lose his friendship. But I feel like it’s not going to end. I just want this to stop happening. It’s exhausting. I’m so tired of caring so much for people I know can never feel the same way for me.
This is exactly what's happened to my high school buddies, except we ended up doing 'it' and he decide that he couldn't be with a guy (he's catholic so meh) and he just suddenly stop talking and contacting me. I was devastated but I find comfort on my friends and now after 3 years of not talking, he decide to contact me and try to explains everything. I told him that it's over and it doesn't matter anymore but he keep insist for us to meet and talk over this, which really annoyed me. How should I deal with him? I don't want him in my life anymore, not as best friend or anything.
Christian Djami or let him explain things. Closure for him as well as you. Sometimes being a good person means doing things that may hurt you to help you understand your past and make a better future for yourself.
jason Shores The thing is that he wanted to re-open the relationship as a friend. He said in a very long messages that he did the thing he do in the past for the good of both of us. I just didn't want to have any contact with him, especially because I don't lived in that town anymore and I don't see any need to talk with him. Also he has stopped contacting me directly so it's a good thing :)
Christian Djami Well it sounds like he wants to keep you on his maybe do list. Here's what you do. Forget him, he's a jerk, you're amazing, beautiful and everything awesome. Move on. I'm sorry if this doesn't help you, but you need to take care of you.
This was posted 7 years ago? Yikes. So honest and vulnerable. I am sure you are doing fine. The Problem With Having Intense Feelings For Anyone is who you like and who they are as a person are in conflict, and sometimes deceptive. Thanks for posting.
Kenny you will be dreaming about this guy for the rest of your life, even though you're over him now. He was your first love interest and there's that memory that literally will take over your wet dreams - it just keeps creeping back every so often
I fell for one of my high school best friends during our 1st year (in my country, high school lasts 3 years) and I basically suffered until we graduated in 2013. We barely saw each other after, and around July 2014, I realized I got over her. I also think we were never friends. Well, she was my friend, but I wasn't hers, really. I don't really want to keep in touch, and I'm still best friends with the other two. Oh well, life is complicated.
I'm so sorry, gosh this story made me get and it's not only in a sad way, like being proud of you for doing something like that. You are brave for doing that.
Just don't obsess with someone who is not ready for a romantic relationship with you, straight or not. Obsession makes you miserable.
Easy in words, more difficult in facts.
I fell in love with a gay guy, as a bi girl. It was a disaster.
Rip
Wait did you know he was gay, cause otherwise that's fucked up, and I'm sorry
NebulazzyGaming He hadn't come out yet. I had no idea.
NebulazzyGaming When he did come out, I was crushed. Of course, I'm was and am very happy that he's happy.
i can relate
don't fall for straight guys... don't fall for gay guys either... you know what, just don't fall for anyone. Being in love sucks in general
couldn;t agree more. Cats in general though...don't know if I can resist that.
Mahde Isaac That's make you a weirdo LOL
Truth
Absolutely not! To disregard your emotions is to disregard your humanity. Loving a person is amazing! There's a difference between love and love of being loved.
AceTrainerJ you can always fall for yourself because when push comes to shove you can’t love anybody if you don’t love yourself
"I was getting mad at him when he took a while to respond to text messages". WOW. I can't believe I'm not alone...
my bf has the same behaviour
Same here. But i don't know what to do with it. Being a bro is a tough task 🤣
@@burakdeyin Same dude. And I can't complain about it cuz we're just mates lol. Just seeing him online, makes my heart beats faster and when he don't answer me inmediately, I feel terribly under the weather.
I know LOL
why fall for a straight guy when you can fall asleep
Victor Stewart the description of depression
Or fall down a well
Victor Stewart THIS IS THE BIGGEST MOOD OF THE DECADE!! 😂😂
Preach it sis~!
Periodttt
I fell in love with my straight best friend too, and I told him I liked him and he eventually asked me out because he was curious. We were in a relationship for 3 years but he always wanted it to be a secret because he didn't consider himself gay or bi. That he fell in love with me because I was his best friend. But being shoved into the closet again was horrible. And after we broke up he told me that I would be the only guy he would ever date, that never again. And now we don't even talk anymore 😭💔😭
Henry B 😔😢 OMG I'm so sorry. I hope you reconnect and at least become friends again.
THAT’S SO FUCKING SAD 😯😯😣😣😣
That's the problem with having random guy 'best friends'. It's also the reason why I CHOOSE who I befriend in the first place. They're mostly gay guys and women and some guys I KNOW I'd never be attracted to even in my next life lol It's a great investment, sealing a wall in 'friendship' and nothing beyond.
Forget about talking to him again. He's sooooooo not worth it. Never was. He will marry a female & have kids & pretend he doesn't even know you. So, so, so, so much baggage. You'll never win. Find yourself a Great Gay guy who's crazy about you.
Henry B, straight men are not curious about other men. Your friend was bisexual or gay.
Falling in love with straight poeple is so hard
So true, my crush is straighter than a straight line
+King Scott lollll
Ikr...
Its not falling in love thats hard. its falling out of lovewith a straight guy that breaks your heart
Yup so true
Every. Single. One. Of my crushes ever. And the guys I like. And the guys that are ok or are attracted to me awkwardly, are straight. Basically my love life is a total disaster so far. Godammit!
I feel you! Don't worry, things will start to work themselves out.
Thanks! I love your videos a lot. Keep up your awesomeness.
Greetings all the way from Malaysia!
P.s. Buzzfeed did not bring out your looks. =P
Mate, I fee ya.... but love will come when least expected.. we're all boud to meet the right one soon:) hang in there.
Silver Low lol at least guys are attracted to you at all. 20 years strong of no experience right here. 😂
Yeah Um Kinda true. or the type of guys are like are all and all manlier
"He's got a girlfriend he's got a baby " I gasped so hard that was so sudden 😭
Lord, don't let the baby's name be Kenny!
michael randall Too late! Little Kenny is now 7 year’s old!
I almost screamed out when he said that! I would have accept that love calling. But I don’t know...
Hahah I laughed out loud 😂
I am going through this right now. it sucks so much
Heh welcome to my life. It seems to be a cycle for me. I've even gotten to a point where I confessed. What sucks is that some of them give so many mixed signals but I have definitely learned my lesson. It only took like five freakin times.
wimbletone
OMG I can totally relato to those damn mixed signals. I mean why some guys do certain things? It's so frustrating it makes me sick. I went through a lot since I stupidly fell for a straight guy because of all the attentions -?- he gave to me and it sucked so much. Hopefully I'll never experience something like that again.
hi
Boo hoo
I am too going through it right now as well... FML 😧
I think most of us (again, i said MOST not ALL) gay/bi people have had feelings for one of our "best friends" and ended up either heartbroken and/or depressed for a short/long period of time. Experienced that twice myself, first time 5 years ago and last time 9 months ago. The thing is, both times, my actual longtime best friend warned me both times and I ended up going in anyways just to end up heartbroken and depressed to the point that both times I fucked up at school because of it. People are just gonna do their thing because we're blinded by the situation and "dreams" of how it might end up when most times it actually just fucks you up either it's in a short period of time or later on in life. That being said, if anyone struggles with that same kind of situation I can only tell you good luck, and I hope you get what you want, or wish that you feel better because you will move on. It's hard but you can live without them just as you did before knowing them. You don't have to erase the thought of them because they're a part of who you are but it will become just a memory.
Well said 💯, Thank you
When you're young, inexperienced and naive, feelings towards the wrong person is common. I think we've all been through it at some point or another; being LGB just adds another layer to the complications. We just don't know that there are other people out there that are better than the one person that we're focusing on and being LGB, we think there's no one out there for us even though there is. So of course we're going to try to hang onto the one possibility, no matter how slim - it's stupid but understandable.
@Kars A has entered the chat.
@@themanwiththecrystaleyes464I has entered the chat?
You said whaat i wanted to say
👍🏻
Why is this guy so attractive!! 😍
My thoughts exactly!
+Arri Shambles from a str8's guy perspective he is attractive too:))
There is something magical about him lol
Christian Djami IKR
Lil Bahroochi His eyes, lips, and hair.
this is insanely similar to what happened to me.
good Friends
really good Friends
feelings
realizing I kinda had a crush on him
and the fights, oh the fights
Same here. :-( It's been six months and I'm still hurting from us drifting apart.
I feel for his girlfriend and even more for his child. If he's living a lie it'll end poorly for them both. He should see a counsellor the way you did
He might be bisexual, in which case there's no reason why things couldn't turn out really well for them all :)
I'm actually the subject of this videos fiancé. He has always been honest with who he is with me. Him being bi sexual is not an issue for me.
My straight best friend thinks i have a crush on her just because i came out to her as bi. ehhh
lol seems like straight people are "afraid" you're into them, but then they're insulted when you're not *eye roll*
Drunk me once told my girl squad and some other girls at a party that I was bi and have always been. One of my BFF was raised in a religious family and said "but you would never actually be attracted by a girl, right ?" Sigh
Ah straight people...
Every straight boy/girl ever
Same! It's so annoying
Basically the exact same thing happened to me in middle school with my best friend, except I never told him. He started dating a high-school freshman and I was so mad I just stopped talking to him completely. Five years later it turns out he's bi and had a crush on me and he was so hurt that I stopped being his friend and we are just starting to rekindle our friendship. After five years.
How is the thing now?
How about now?
Spill the tea
We want receipts
Oh man, my heart goes out to you. This one hurts my soul.
Basically me with my anxiety about asking out this dude to homecoming except I have no clue if he's straight or gay and it's just qq
Are you a senior?
I feel you, I've liked this straight guy since Freshmen year of high school, now I'm in sophomore year of college. Dear lawdddd
I live this somewhat close. I love my best friend. He knows I'm gay, and is sooooo supportive. We are very close and have close moments. Nothing sexual though. It's so hard for me to continue my life because I feel something between us and yet it might just be very close friendship. It's hard to move on when you love someone.
Patrick Balyan I'm in the exact same situation man
He doesn't want to lose your friendship. Dangling carrot of potential love will keep you there. When he finds a suitable replacement you will see him as he is...someone who doesn't love you. I would put money on it ...if you gave him a cold shoulder ...he ramps up the '' missing you', closeness and hints. if you hold your ground...he will try a kiss but say he isnt sure. if you hold on...he will say he feels rushed and lay on guilt trip. if he really cared, he would have asked about your feelings before you get to cold shoulder 3.
Patrick, how have things been for you and your friend in the years since?
@@michiganyes our friendship has only gotten stronger. We love each other so much, but we built a brotherly bond. He is so much open now with sexuality, we are able to have open discussions without being awkward. He accepts me 100% and is there to listen when need it.
@@BaghdigBalyan that's a blessing. Thank you for sharing!
I fall in love with straight guys all the time. For some reason I feel like everyone around me is bi. I am bisexual myself, I actually have a girlfriend and for some time I had a huge crush on a guy that work with me, of course I wasn't going to tell my girlfriend anything and obviously not the guy either. So here I am, just trying to get through life not trying to fall in love or like two different people at the same time.
Hii Samuel can you give your contact number.
so relatable tbh :(
I think you feel that because you see things different, since you are bi yourself. We are "imprisoned" in our POVs, pretty normal for us human beings.
Whew gurl. My problem is that I tell my straight guy friends that Im gay, but eventually they warm up to the fact that they want to experiment. Im no one's guinea pig.
Whew Kenny. Im sorry love.
Whew gurl, he put you through the ringer. (hug)
KENNY!!! I thought i had it hard. Jesus. Sorry, I keep pausing, commenting, and the story gets even more heartbreaking.
I will experiment with your gay ass.
I'm pretty sure I'm immune to this, as soon as i know a guy is straight i get turned off
Wow that's pretty convenient
omg. same!
I agree with fsociety. Like if I start liking someone I instantly assume "straight". I don't pursue them and it's normally just a little crush that will fade away but still annoying none the less.
When I was first discovering my sexuality I developed a massive crush on a straight guy, but over the years I've developed this "immunity" too. If I know that there's absolutely no chance of a guy liking me back, I lose interest really quickly. If I know that a guy likes guys, that's all part of what makes him attractive to me - with straight guys there's no "attraction spark", if that makes sense?
Callum McPherson same
I can definitely realte right now, and I always warn my gay and bi friends about falling in love with someone who is straight or soemone's whose sexuality you're unsure of. I've been in love with a guy since eighth grade, we're seniors now. Because of this, I find it so hard to stay iunterested in people I date and I don't even try to date anyone anymore. Seriously, avoid falling in love with straight people to the best of your ability, it fucks you up.
I had a huge crush on this French exchange student and he's so cute but so funny and I just was in love
I think I'm pretty over him but at the same time I still talk to him and think about him
You know when you don't just wanna make out you would love to cuddle and just sit together you know?
I definitely understand. Mine is a guy I hardcore vibe with and it sucks that I'll never experience anything romantic with him. I don't think I've ever one sexually fantasized about him, its always been cute couple shit.
I admire how you moved on and I know it's not easy. videos like this makes me realize that things will get better in time :) just be strong.
Yes, I've been experience this in high school. So hurt and I was hard to move on, but after several years, I can forget him...
*reading the title* oh honey we all been there
This video hit me like a ton of bricks. I fell in love with two straight guys in my twenties and was so sad and depressed for years. Many times, I had a hard time getting out of bed because I cried my eyes out. I do believe they both know how I felt for them and struggled to deal with their own feelings. It took me five years to get over the second guy, but as time went on, I was able to get over him. as much as I could. I still think about him from time to time, and still would wish we could be partners. I hope he is happy, and wish him nothing but the best. I have changed so much since that time back in 2001. Since then, I have given up cigarettes and alcohol, and gone on to receive my Bachelor's degree and Master's degree from the University of Minnesota. Recently, I applied to a Doctoral program and am trying to date people who will love me for me. I will always have a special place in my heart for you James. Thank you for the video!
People will come back when they see you happy without them❤️
Man i can so relate. I fell in love with my straight best friend and it was awful. He knew i was gay and I never let him know my feelings. There was absolutely no point as he was straight and the friendship was too important to me. So I just decided to act as normal as possible and wait it out and now that those feelings have subsided and I’m back in that friend zone I’m so much happier. I almost had to cut him off as it was so hard to deal with!
Thanks for this. It's really validating to see other people going through, or have been through, similar experiences.
I think a lot of people have experienced unrequited love. Good on you for handling it with a degree of grace. Anytime you don't think or know if your feelings are returned.... its a good sign to reevaluate.
I'm so glad I decided to subscribe ! I cried watching this, it mirrors so much of my past relationships and why I dont trust them anymore
Heart breaking ... This is literally my life ... Over and over again
Preach, needed this video dude. Thanks!
they always want to hook up when they're drunk
You are right daddy
The level of relatableness
Interesting story. Been there. I would point out that the experience didn't actually destroy your life; in fact, in your words, it made you stronger. What the experience DID do was make you feel all kinds of confusing and painful things, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. The things we experience as negative actually heighten our ability to experience positive things. Emotional maturity means riding the wave whether it's high or low, not avoiding the water. Easier said than done when mental illness is at play, but still the goal is to be "present," not to be "happy." Good for you for being so brave and forthright in speaking your truth. I, for one, appreciate it! Thanks.
I feel really grateful that my straight friend just turned me down when I told her I had a crush on her. :| Leading people on is not cool. I hope you guys managed to maintain your friendship though!!
I went through something similar to this quite recently. And I still have feelings for the guy and haven't gotten over him yet. Watching this has inspired me to try to move on. Thank you so much!!
I'm in a similar situation!! Not with being gay, but I go to U of M, I'm a sophomore, and I've been struggling with depression ever since I got here. Last semester I went home almost every weekend, kept ties with all my old friends, and didn't go out much. I was also dealing with feelings I had for someone back home that I couldn't be with... so I can totally relate to the isolation and an unwillingness to move on!
Thank you for your story. Currently going through a very similar situation and it is slowly eating away at me. I know i should leave it all alone as nothing will/can come of this. As cliche as this sounds i can not get him out of my mind/heart, at this stage it feels like a long way back to normality as things have gotten a little sad and depressing. It will pass but for now it fxxken sucks big time. Hearing you made it through is just what i needed.
I'm so glad you finally got out of that situation. I've been through it, though it never got physical, and it does suck and put you down. I was relieved to hear you came out of it stronger and you were through with that stuff. I'm so happy for you and I hope you continue feeling better. :) Also, can't help but admit you're an angel. :3 :3
This is a movie plot! At least there is a happy ending and we have you in our lives now, which is great.
This is what people dream of. This is so romantic and cute. Its sad on how it ended but the story is just super sweet. Its true tho, things like this will change you. Either in a bad or good way. This is my situation rite now
Amazing story mate! Good for you in learning and being strong. Definitely one thing we should all know - Feelings should be always mutual on each sides and no one should have to try super hard to be loved or notice by someone.
I'm a gay man and I have girl crushes on some people.
Sounds like you're gay bi-romantic. You should look it up, I was confused too at first but as soon as I found about it I related to it 100%
+Hiræthii Hey, me too! YAAASSS 😍🙈
***** yayyy, I'm not alone :3
Sounds like such a long label. But a girl won't reciprocate those feelings since I'm obviously gay.
ugh thats not a real thing. Everyone has crushes on both genders, its no a 'biromantic' thing. such bullshit.
Kenny, I am so proud of you for getting help and saying no when he came crawling back at the end. It's hard to escape toxic people when you love them and they have such a hold on you, especially if the relationship is secretive or convoluted. I relate to this a lot. I'm bisexual, struggle with depression and anxiety, and have had a similar toxic relationship. You give me hope for eventually getting past someone that's messed with my feelings for over a year. I finally stood up and said no more, but I'm still hurt. I hope you're much happier now and thank you for sharing
This is happening to me again, I thought that from my last experience on college I was never going to experience this again but know I’m struggling with all delusional, thoughts and self-deception. Wish I could join a support group where I could talk all these.
Did you found a support group cause i need it too,
😢
@@medicinelove60 me too
I started crying when he started talking about how he was SO sure the person would like him back. That's the feeling right there. And when he started talking about how his life started getting better for him tears just started coming out because that's so true.
The entire experience is similar to me. Just move on!! You'll feel SO much better about yourself!! I'm glad this video is shared!! This is truth!! Do not put yourself in this position. Distance yourself. Don't get close to people you know you can't have.
I want to see a movie built on this. Is that weird?
Elisa Call Me By Your Name is pretty close
Your story is so spot on with my personal one too...he was a new student, coming from another HS, and it was my senior year as well...at first, I was so shy to even talk to him because he became so popular the first day (he was attractive that all my friends would always flock to him, he was a gentlemen towards anyone, an incredible basketball player & he was #1 for his GPA), and after the semesters change, I actually got to sit close to him in math class & we began to talk, then in other classes we got paired up for projects...and over those little hangouts we had, I started to realize I'm falling for him hard. Fast forward, the end of senior year, graduation, I chose to go to the same college as he did because we were planning that we'd get a dorm together(which didn't happen)and for me, I just did NOT want to lose this friendship out of anything. Freshmen year of college, I was getting depressed, like super depressed...it was hitting November, and of course I wasn't out or confident with my sexuality, but I still couldn't speak up and say anything. I finally had the courage to write a LONG letter to him (i even asked him to give me his email so I could send him something), explaining everything, music that reminded me of him, and just how I felt bad that I got closed to his girlfriend (yes...omg, she was actually a childhood friend, SHOCKER!) and she didn't even realize nothing! In the end, it was the same as yours Kenny (well sort of), he told me that it's fine I liked him, and nothings going to change, but he doesn't have THOSE feelings towards me. Now its our 3rd year in college & after that event, my relationship with him actually got stronger, like yeah~ we aren't as touchy touchy as before (sounds weird but idk how to explain it...sort of like handshake > long hugs) haha, but we always talked about our personal lives, and till this day we still hangout. I AGREE WITH YOU THOUGH! It brought so much pain & I knew if I dwelled with it more, I would've just gotten worse.
Such a long comment, sorry! Anyways, thanks Kenny for sharing this ^_^! It's very happy to hear that you've moved on & doing great
All I ever did was fall in love with straight guys. It sucks but it is what it is. I'm 33 and it's not going to ever be different.
I like how sincere you talk about those matters, you don't sound like someone who's trying to be funny or looking for pity, just honest and straightforward.
You’re story is so inspiring. As a man who is coming to terms with my sexuality, it took a long time to accept myself being bisexual. I just came out.
I’m currently going through some of this. I’ve a dear friend that I’ve had feelings for, for awhile now. To my knowledge, he’s straight. I’ve known him since we were in sophomore year of high-school. I didn’t have many friends growing up for a number of reasons. Senior year of high-school, I just remember one occasion where he invited a bunch of people over to his house for a party, and he’d invited me as well. By the party’s end, most of the friend group had left, but I was still there for a few more minutes with him, cuz they’d all gotten their driver’s licenses, but I was still working on getting mine (still am years later at 23).
By this point, I’d already come out to him and some of the others, and I had their support. I hadn’t come out to family yet though. Once my dad arrived to pick me up, my friend offered to bring me to the door. I just considered it a courtesy of him trying to be a good host. However, when we got to the door, my dad was there. Now, my parents-especially at that point in life-we’re very critical about knowing who my friends were, and introducing themselves to the parents. Bit embarrassing, but I know they meant well. My friend’s dad had shown behind us, just cuz he was wondering who we were speaking to at the door. As I was saying goodbye, internalized homophobia had me policing myself, just trying to give him a handshake. Instead though, he gave me hug that I wasn’t really prepared for. Him taking that initiative-in front of both our fathers mind you-I mean, thank god it was dark cuz I was embarrassed. Happy, but not knowing how to process it.
It’s been about 5-6 years since this event, and I just don’t know how to process it. I’ve wanted to tell him for awhile that I’ve feelings for him, and I’ve wanted to hang out more with him. At the same time though, I fear I’d destroy our friendship. I met up with him last spring just to catch up a bit, and I asked him if he’d met anyone, basically trying to get a read on his type. He said he’s been trying to meet women but he hasn’t had much luck, either people not being who they claimed to be, or trying to cheat on their partners with him. He said his type was mostly fit women…so that of course felt like a brick in my stomach.
He’s so busy training for the military and working on his undergrad though, I don’t know when’s the best time to tell him. I try to reach out every so often if he’d like to hang out again, but I hardly get a response just because of his schedule. Doesn’t help that I’m still learning to drive so it’s been difficult to even meet up, and I refuse to tell him I’ve a crush on him via text. I just don’t feel it’s fair to anyone to do that. I’ve never been in a relationship or experience any intimacy at this point in my life, and it just makes me feel useless. I’ve wanted to pursue a relationship, but it’s hard for me to entertain dating anyone if I still carry feelings for my friend. It’s not fair to anyone. But then I pretty much know the answer I’ll receive if I confess to him, so it just leaves me feeling miserable. Most recent time we talked, he’d gone on a trip to meet some friends from military training in Germany, which hurt more tbh.
Thanks to your story, I made up my mind and "ended" my crush on my best friend by telling straight to his face. It all ended pretty well actually. Even though he had already known that i was bi, he was shocked at first, and i tried my best not to make it more awkward, i told him that it was just a crush, but i still wanted to confess to him because i didn't want to make it a secret and wanted understanding from him. Everything turned out fine after that, we still go to the movies and do all besties stuff, and i try my best not to cross the line between us. It seems hard at first, but now i actually am grateful for that lil' crush of mine, even though it was a soul- crushing failure, it turned out to be a funny memory between us, and if i could change anything of it, i probally wouldn't. If that guy you like isn't homophobic, just tell him your feelings, it would be hard, but you'll probally make a laugh of it after that.
Happened to me a year and 11 months ago. Almost getting over the guy. He has a girlfriend now I think .. and I feel him reaching out to me again.
just here because my feelings brings me here 😣🥺
Whew...thanks for sharing. So many of us have experiences like this. I don't know who gets more damaged by the process. But yup, been there, done that, got the "we can't do this again message," did it again. It was like intimacy with a lot of boundaries...emotional and otherwise. And like the few other UA-cam videos I've seen like this, and my own experience, yes they each go on to find wives, have children, and seemingly thrive. Meanwhile, our paths are a bit more ragged.
Agreed...back yourself out of love. My straight buddy doesn't get it. I see he's hurt when I ignor him. (On purpose) He says I'm complicated. Avoid the heart ache. Sometimes I think he just wants his ego stroked .. yes even from a Gay Guy.
So similar to my experience I started ignoring him on purpose because there is no way I will keep filling his emotional cup and stroking his ego by giving him all of my attention. I know he is upset about how distant I have made myself but I had to do what's best for me.
I am doing the same Chip Z.
I love your videos and I'm a frequent viewer. You making videos about mental health and being vulnerable is a godsend in a world full of hate and disrespect. Respectfully though, I hope you didn't out your old best friend with this video. I figure you probably don't because the videos I've seen, you've been very respectful but I know sometimes those old feelings come back and we get caught up in them especially as it pertains to mental health. I know that could be hard for some people - especially people from smaller towns and in non-accepting areas of our world.
Thanks so much for being so vulnerable and starting conversations around mental health and the importance of self-care.
Preach, Kenny.
This is the most relatable video you've ever posted omg
I seriously NEEDED this video. I have gone through this before and I am currently in it again just with another guy. I am trying to go though the steps that I did the last time but so far it's not working. I think I love the current guy a lot more than I did the first (which I didn't think was possible). Your video really spoke to me and has given me new hope that I will come out of this stronger. Thank You!
I fell in love with my best friend as well. I've been in love with him for years. So a few weeks ago I told him how much I feel about him, and he shut me down. He hasn't spoken to me since. So now I'm dealing with these feelings by myself, and I'm also upset about him breaking all contact. My story's complicated, but that's the main plot of it. I've been there by his side through the thick of it.
I want to correct something: instead of '''don´t fall in love with straight guys''' it is better to say don't fall for guys that don't feel the same about you. Cause i fell for a gay guy who wasn't attracted to me and that hurts the same as falling for a straight guy. Being on the friend zone sucks.
I fell in love with my best friend. He is straight. I met him at work in 2015 , but we didn't become friends right away... we became closer to each other when we starting sharing secrets about some struggles we've been through in our lives. From that moment on, he's confided everthing in me... every secret... but I didn't know I had feelings for him until I started missing him everytime he didn't message me, or the days he didn't talk to me. He quit his job in June this year, and I was down in the dumps... when he told me he'd quit, he came to me and gave me the warmest hug and said goodbye. I thought we wouldn't see each other again or that due to the fact that we weren't working together anymore, we would grow apart. I cried a lot... but he continued messaging me for some time... but the frequency wasn't the same, mainly because he starting dating a girl. One day, I decided to tell him how I felt, and he was totally fine with me. He said that it's natural, and it wouldn't change our friendship... but after this day, I decided I couldn't keep with this. I made a decision on moving on and stop talking to him. I deleted his phone number and blocked him. We spent 2 months without talking to each other, and I hadn't heard anything from him. When it was August 23rd this year (one day after my birthday), he messaged me on Facebook wishing me a happy birthday. When I saw his message, I started crying a river... I couldn't even type a reply! But then I replied to him, and we started talking again. I reconnected with him... I mean, his friendship. And today we talk every single day. I still have feelings for him, and sometimes I get angry when he doesn't reply to me. Sometimes I wonder if I should end this friendship and move on... but I think it wouldn't be fair to him as he always respected my sexuality and my feelings... and he says that I am one of the most real friends he has. I wanna keep him in my life... I don't wanna be apart from him, even if it would cost a high price (my freedom). I really don't know if I'm doing right... but I just can't let him go. That's my story...
Me too.....how did it span out 7 years later. I feel hopeless in my case 😭😭
This is what exactly happened on me nowadays 😭😭😭
You are literally the most honest and down to earth person I know on the internet!
Your friend wasn't straight, just way in the closet.
@LagiNaLangAko23
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻💯
Great pace. Some people drag out their stories indulgently. Great pace here. Thanks for sharing
Great story Kenny!!!!
OMG I have been searching for something like this for days. It's 4;20 am so you probably know why I'm not sleeping. The damage has been done, but your video helped me.
Although I have a BI history, I identify as gay. Still, this is a very interesting topic to me. I had a period when I would fall in love with straight men, and some of them actually fell in love with me for a little while, but, of course, they were toxic for me psychologically. Even worse were the straight blokes who were flirtatious, but had no intention of ever going to bed with me.
Finally I had a few 100% gay affairs, and they eventually led me to my current BF, a very handsome, very honest, very gay Belgian muscleman (my type). So intelligent, so loving, so sincere. So, these stories DO have happy endings.
Those men were not straight. Straight men do not fall in love with men.
@@renealexander2703 that is very black and white for something we know so little about both genetically and in how sexuality functions in the brain
@@douwemusic , not true. It's a sexual orientation. Straight people only have sex/attraction to the opposite sex. That's what straight/heterosexual means. If it's more than black and white, then you are bisexual.
such honesty. your story struck a chord with me. Best of luck to you.
This is how I lost one of my best friends :(
I could relate, I fell for one of my best friends in high school and I was upset about leaving HS and going to college because of the idea of not seeing him everyday anymore. So everyday after class I'd go home, or go swimming, or even go to the transit shopping mall where he needed to transit at, in hopes to seeing him by chance, and one time I actually called him to grab some dinner. And like you said, I'd been missing out a lot on half of college freshman year's fun and I now if I think back, I was really a definition of young and pretty dumb
If I've said it once, I've said it a billion times. Point #1 - you are powerless to control who you're attracted to (and who you're not attracted to). Point #2 - there's no difference being attracted to a straight person and being attracted to gay person who's just not into you. I hope this sets every-one straight.
Thank you so much for describe exactly what's happening with me... and also, for show that we all know what's coming next.
First time here, I've loved the channel. 😍. Congrats
Ik a lot of people might say its to yearly for me to fall in love. I'm 16 and I had a crush on my best friend and maybe still have. he's a straight guy in a grade higher than me. him and all my friends know I'm bisexual. I had accepted the fact that he was straight and could never have anything for me but I still liked him. like a lot. I finally told one of my friends about but it was no help. and I want to tell him but I don't want to ruin our friendship .and every day he does something to make me smile I like him even more and I hate it. it's killing me. I want to stop but it's hard. I see him everyday.
I just thought I should leave this here
Thanks for posting this video, really changed my life
It's better to love them as a friend and keep your love as a secret. You'll ruin a friendship and that's the part that sucks, it's either you walk away or stay and learn to cope, love and accept them for who they are. It's hard but just know you'll eventually find someone.
Sometimes I just cannot handle my jealous feeling when my straight guy crush hook up with girls, so i tell him.
@@indwaty7747 yeah, it's not easy but u gotta learn how to accept them for who they are u know. Accept the fact they can't reciprocate ur feelings because they are not attracted to you in that way. Me and him are still in a good friendship because of our respect for each other and keeping boundaries. Focus on you my friend🙏 you'll find your someone one day🙏 I still love him but I kinda keep my boundaries and I accept him for who he is. I love him unconditionally, even though it's still hard. But you got this🙏🙏❤️ even he knows that I have deep feelings for him, he’s been knowing but because he doesn’t judge me for who I am, in a way we both love each other. Just in our own ways but we respect each other and there’s nothing more greater than that. Having a best friend that knows how u really feel and still stands by your side🙏🏼❤️
I was taking German in Germany in a language school when I met a younger American guy (I’m British) who was good looking enough but not my type. He was always calling me, and likes to talk to me a lot before classes, he liked to talk a lot about himself. Honestly I found him irritating, especially that he didn’t want to speak German with me instead of English so we could practice. Still I liked him fine just like any other classmate. But later after the course was over, which took 2 months, I started to miss him and find myself wondering what he was doing. So I spoke to him on the phone, he was excited that I called and wanted to hang out to go to visit another city. We did go and had a lot of fun visiting pubs and going sitghtseeing. And then at one point that day, I felt that I have fallen in love with him, I haven’t mentioned that I was gay to him at any point before, because well I don’t like to mention it to strangers who I don’t have any interest in. I knew he was straight, yet I couldn’t help but fall in love with him. Later we didn’t see each other before he called me to tell me he was flying back home, I wished him farewell and when he hung up I found my self sobbing that I’m probably not going to see him again and that he will never know that I loved him.
you tell him but you can either lose him or keep him.
->if you lose him at least your sufferings like liking a straight guy will be gone or you won't see him with a girl/boy which hurts af.
-> if he likes you back then happy ending!.
And if you don't tell him you'll get hurt eventually like learning in the future that he liked you but it's too late because he's engaged. Or you'll get hurt seeing him with someone.
"He had a girlfriend and she was awful" - my whole story.
Kenny - i really admire your strength! On the surface, it seems like a lot of time and anguish for nothing... But you really turned this heart ache/break in to something great for you. It drove you to live more honestly, and you became happier! you know you are worth more than that. So your time wasn't wasted at all, it was trial by fire. And you are still young and terrific looking! Thank you for telling your story.
Please fall in love with straights! Just remember that nothing will come of it. But this suffering will make you deeper and more compassionate. The fact is that you can’t order a heart, and gays, as a rule, fall in love with the most masculine guys, who are usually straight. This is the first traumatic experience, but it is very valuable. There is useful pain. It is necessary to survive it.
Preach 😂 but these so called straights really gotta stop leading us tf on they know what they are doing. They can play with this Boy bussy but never my emotions.
What a terrible thing to have happen while coming out and being in college. Glad you are on the other side of all this! Keep this coming! You are really good.
But... I'm a straight girl
He's warning you
marmitehasfeelings He meant us gay or bi guys..
No, he's not. Straight guys are terrible for everybody.
Billy Lav Seriously, awful creatures. They're destroyed the world! Can't wait until they're minorities lol "Straight Male Pride" HAHAHA
I am bi and I have no problem with straight people. There's literally no difference between straight people and gay/bi people, the only differences are in who we like.
This is a never ending cycle for me. I never expect it but it comes out of nowhere. He’s straight and there’s no way we would ever work but I still have these feelings for him. I would never act on them because the last thing I want to do is make him uncomfortable or lose his friendship. But I feel like it’s not going to end. I just want this to stop happening. It’s exhausting. I’m so tired of caring so much for people I know can never feel the same way for me.
This is exactly what's happened to my high school buddies, except we ended up doing 'it' and he decide that he couldn't be with a guy (he's catholic so meh) and he just suddenly stop talking and contacting me. I was devastated but I find comfort on my friends and now after 3 years of not talking, he decide to contact me and try to explains everything. I told him that it's over and it doesn't matter anymore but he keep insist for us to meet and talk over this, which really annoyed me. How should I deal with him? I don't want him in my life anymore, not as best friend or anything.
Christian Djami or let him explain things. Closure for him as well as you. Sometimes being a good person means doing things that may hurt you to help you understand your past and make a better future for yourself.
jason Shores The thing is that he wanted to re-open the relationship as a friend. He said in a very long messages that he did the thing he do in the past for the good of both of us. I just didn't want to have any contact with him, especially because I don't lived in that town anymore and I don't see any need to talk with him. Also he has stopped contacting me directly so it's a good thing :)
Christian Djami Well it sounds like he wants to keep you on his maybe do list. Here's what you do. Forget him, he's a jerk, you're amazing, beautiful and everything awesome. Move on. I'm sorry if this doesn't help you, but you need to take care of you.
jason Shores Thankyou very much It do help :)
I NEVER comment on videos, but I identified with this video immensely. Thank you so much for posting this and sharing your story!
I wish I had seen this earlier.
Same
This was posted 7 years ago? Yikes.
So honest and vulnerable. I am sure you are doing fine. The Problem With Having Intense Feelings For Anyone is who you like and who they are as a person are in conflict, and sometimes deceptive. Thanks for posting.
"im gonna tell you about the time i fell in love with my best friend" well theres your first mistake never fall in love with your best friend
Kenny you will be dreaming about this guy for the rest of your life, even though you're over him now. He was your first love interest and there's that memory that literally will take over your wet dreams - it just keeps creeping back every so often
I fell for one of my high school best friends during our 1st year (in my country, high school lasts 3 years) and I basically suffered until we graduated in 2013. We barely saw each other after, and around July 2014, I realized I got over her. I also think we were never friends. Well, she was my friend, but I wasn't hers, really. I don't really want to keep in touch, and I'm still best friends with the other two. Oh well, life is complicated.
There's more to the story but I didn't want to write that much hahahaha. But anyway, nothing ever happened.
This is very relatable. It's nearly the exact same situation for me.
I'm glad i'm not the only one, i am still going to school with this friend i have a crush on, for another two years and its killing me already
I'm glad i'm not the only one, i am still going to school with this friend i have a crush on, for another two years and its killing me already
I'm so sorry, gosh this story made me get and it's not only in a sad way, like being proud of you for doing something like that. You are brave for doing that.
just straight women should fall in love with straight guys
nice b8
Yes, my dear society.
Well done for coming forward to tell us this story