choosing our sperm donor
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- Опубліковано 21 лип 2024
- join us as we design our perfect sperm donor and share your two cents on who we should pick!
sub, review, and send goss/questions to stayinguppod@gmail.com
Listen: wizard.podlink.to/stayingup
Follow: Instagram: / stayinguppod
Follow Cam: / cammiescott
Follow Tar: / thetarynarnold
Contact for business inquires only:
maddy@mpactgroupla.com
Chapters:
0:00:00 - brave girls
00:05:25 - cam's diagnosis
00:11:55 - podcast masterclass
00:18:33 - breakups are rampant
00:25:08 - designing our sperm donor
00:53:20 - question of the weeky
00:55:23 - should i come out to homophobic fam?
As someone who has been following Cam since her early days on UA-cam, it’s so nice to see her at this stage in her life. It’s like watching someone you care about grow up 🥹❤️
this is so sweet 🥹 -c
I know it's so cool. I started watching her many many years ago and then I kinda stopped watching UA-cam all together for a long time.. then I came across her on tiktok and it was immediately pulled in again and it seeing where she's at now was so nice and beautiful to see.
So girlies as one of your faithful thousand I just had to pop in to say I’m loving hearing about your baby journey. Picking a donor has got to be fraught with so many emotions. I’m thankful I got mine by falling in love with a woman who had 3kids. We’re in year 25 and now we have 4 fantastic grandkids. Enjoy every minute of your journey.
what a special and beautiful life you have!! congrats! big love -c
as a sperm donor baby, i never got in touch with my donor but i did appreciate the option. my moms did choose an identity-release donor and even though i didn't want to actually contact him, i did get to request a file from the sperm bank with additional info about him and pictures throughout his life etc. so that was cool to do!
I'm in my mid 20's and not even in a relationship, but these days kids are on my mind constantly. I really appreciate the two of you talking about how you're navigating this exciting but probably also pretty scary journey. I hope you find the right donor. It's clear that the two of you are so passionate about being the best parents you can be. I hope I can be like that in the future, too :) Also I think you kind of alluded to making a Discord in the ep. I think that would be awesome! Anyway, thanks as always for the wonderful content!
So so excited for you guys, I am LIVING through you.
Must say I am impressed with cam's biology knowledge. O positive is universal donor and AB negative is universal receiver
I love the thousand true fans idea! I'm a quiet but true fan, been here such a long time, and I don't post much but I watch basically everything. I've watched Cammie since the early days, and all her wonderful videos about being lgbtq helped me realize I'm bisexual. Since then I've gotten married and had kids and it's so special to hear you guys talking about family planning too. Feel like we're growing up together. Wishing you the best, love you both! ❤
I love this little invisible string that has been connecting us for so long!! so happy for your beautiful life!! -C
Love Camdens facial reactions when Taryn says something shocking
What an exciting journey for the two of you. Wishing you all the best as you follow along this road. You'll make wonderful parents!
Awww, so cute to watch lunky Frank :)
Oh my goodness, and then Riggy too for parts of the second half! :D
Thanks for another great episode! I never realized how much research goes into donors :O
I hope you find your person who can donate for all your kids
they're such a little added bonus if you watch the eps haha
So excited for you guys and the chapters to come!💕
thank you!!🥹
i listen every week and have never commented on the pod but i felt the need to tell you that im crying literal tears with cammie at 49:54 great job
omg please keep updating on your pmdd and meds!! I think I have it too and want to get on meds
I’m 26, not in a relationship, but I look at sperm banks regularly for the future 😅 yall addressed alot of good topics that have been on my mind
it is such an odd process and so weird to talk about but I really wish more people would!
I cant get over the fact that cam hasnt taking blood before. INSANE. Maybe a swedish thing but I go multiply times every year. Im vegan, have had low d-vitamin, took it when I were tired alot, needed to take when trying to get pregnant ect. Its such good way to get so much info about your body.
it isn't normal at all that I hadn't gone haha I have a phobia and have been working to get over it
I know how you feel about blood draws, i hate them and get so nervous before each one but have only fainted once
i find it extremely impressive how easy it is for taryn to A. come up with shortened nicknames for random words (ex. process gets shortened to "pross") and B. keep up with new words that she creates for different situations. she came up with "mise-eliott" during the epi, and STUCK to it. i have tried so many times to create things like that too, but completely forgot about it the MOMENT it left my mouth and then never thought about it again. props
it really is a talent of hers. she has a whole language haha -c
I think you guys should call the question the "quickie of the weekie" 😂
love this haha
Hey, thank you for a great episode
Love your podcast! I think that you have to make sure that if you are Rh + the father would be also +, and if u are -, he should be -.
I think it’s called: serological conflict
I think you should look up Rh compatibility for blood types during pregnancy
It's indeed "dysphoric" (I'm a clinical psychologist), the term "dysphoric" doesn't only refer to gender dysphoria, it's a general term that indicates "major discomfort that has a clinical relevance". Normally, clinical relevance is defined as such when the symptoms have an impact on the daily functioning, relationships, academic or work progress and have a detrimental impact on the mental and/or physical health of the patient.
I get that maybe Taryn had the impression it sounds really bad as she said it's a terrible word, but actually I can tell both as a clinician and as a PMDD patient myself that finally having a label and a name to something a patient suffers from is a relief. It's the starting point to get the support a patient needs to finally manage their condition and live a better life.
The term "dysphoria" validates the pain, the anxiety and depressive mood, and sometimes the derealization and depersonalization that some PMDD patients experience during the PM phase. We shouldn't be scared of using the right terminology when it's needed, because it helps us to identify when a situation is in the field of being clinically relevant and thus requiring clinical attention from a (mental) health provider. Of course, many people can also experience PMS without the dysphoria, they could also benefit from the help of professionals, but normally the dysphoria aspect of the patient's experience tells us in which direction the therapy can go (for example, PMDD might require medication while PMS might be resolved with supplements and other strategies such as yoga, meditation, sports, diet, etc... all things that are also useful with PMDD but that might require the "extra step" of taking meds for a while). Edit: psychotherapy is also a big game changer! I always advocate for psychotherapy, both if there's a diagnosis or not.
ah absolutely! having a term and explanation for what you are experiencing is such a huge relief! -C
47:00 I don’t know about that 😂 my brother is 6’7 and he was a BIG baby. When he was born he already looked like he was one years old 😭
I know this is crazy but there is sperm donor facebook groups, I found my sperm donor off of Facebook and he's attractive, nice and wasn't a creep lmao. I am going into the hospital in exactly 2 hours and 30 mins to be induced and I can't wait to meet my son! Glad I used the donor I did.. he ended up being great and my son will have half siblings all over the country which is kinda cool.
Ohmygod..i can relate her so badly👀
You have to be there for your son 🥹🥹 so sweet
After much internal deliberation, my celebrity sperm donor is Austin Butler. He has dirty blond hair, light eyes, is 6 feet tall, and he kinda looks like both of you combined so I think your kids would all look similar if you use both of your eggs.
If you don't mind medium brown hair, Jake Gyllenhaal ticks all those boxes and he's also Jewish. As a swifty I hesitate to recommend him, but I have to acknowledge that he's very handsome and very talented.
Good luck to you on your donor journey! I'm bi so I'm not sure if I'll experience this in the future, but it's great that you're sharing your process so that those who do experience this know what to expect and don't feel alone. Lots of love
Frank just needs to be close to his mommies right now
You lucky ducks, back in my day we had to marry the sperm donors😂
ah thank goodness times are changing
Are you doing reciprocal IVF?
for the first round yes! I will carry Taryns egg first and then mine second.
Dark hair is usually dominant their right
i wish there were donor pages and the guys were shown to 100 people and they were ranked 1-10 like you dont see the guy but you know what uninvolved other people think of him on average to figure if hes cute ish or not? then you dont see him and think i see his eyes in my kid
It seems like what would be important is medical issues that might show up.
To that Muslim girl:
Hey kiddo, keep your chin up! Let me share some facts.
Allah has mentioned in Quran: “and human being was created weak” [an-Nisa’ 4:28]. it is acknowledged that humans are inherently vulnerable and susceptible to challenges and difficulties.
I'm puzzled as to why people and scholars lean towards such hard interpretations of Islam and the Quran. Rather they are the ones creating confusions and perplexing people’s hearts.
In another verse: Allah has mentioned in Quran:”Allah does not burden any human being with more than he is well able to bear.” Verse (2:286)
Keep your hopes up.
Further: “Our Lord, do not punish us, if we forget or fall into error; and our Lord, lay not on us a responsibility as Thou didst lay upon those before us.” Verse (2:287)
In another verse: “whose hearts He has brought together: [for,] if thou hadst expended all that is on earth, thou couldst not have brought their hearts together [by thyself]: but God did bring them together. Verily, He is almighty, wise” Verse (8:63)
It all comes down to the heart; Allah deeply cares about the hearts of His creation. Throughout the Quran, Allah repeatedly references 'quloob', meaning 'hearts', rather than delving into the intricacies of the brain or the associated psychological theories. While the body is temporary, the soul endures, and it is through the heart's complex network that our intuitive preferences take shape. It's as if Allah has already charted the course for us.
Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “A man who never did any good deeds told his family that when he died, they should burn him, then scatter half of him on land and half of him in the sea, for by Allah, if Allah were to seize him, He would surely punish him as He had never punished anyone in the world. When the man died, they did what he had instructed them to do, then Allah commanded the land to gather what was in it, and He commanded the sea to gather what was in it, then he said (to the man): ‘Why did you do this?’ He said: ‘For fear of You, O Lord, and You know best.’ So Allah forgave him.”
Certainly, the mention of the jugular vein in the Quran could be interpreted as a symbol of the connection between an individual and Allah. Just as the jugular vein is a vital conduit for the flow of life-sustaining blood, the personal relationship between a person and Allah is deeply significant. This connection is understood to be private and direct, not mediated by priests or scholars. It underscores the idea that Allah, in His infinite wisdom, understands the unique weaknesses and strengths of each individual. While religious laws and principles apply to the general public, the personal relationship with Allah allows for a more tailored, individualized understanding of faith and spirituality. This perspective highlights the personal and intimate nature of one's connection to the Divine.
“Surely We have created man, and We know the promptings of his heart, and We are nearer to him than even his jugular vein”. (50:16)
Challenges and difficulties are the part of life.
1. Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “When Allah loves a people, He afflicts them with trials.” Source: al-Mu’jam al-Awsaṭ lil-Ṭabarānī 3228
2. Abu Dharr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “When one of you loves your companion, let him go to his home and inform him that he loves him for the sake of Allah.”Source: al-Zuhd wal-Raqā’iq li-Ibn al-Mubārak 712
If I presume you're familiar with the story of Prophet Joseph, son of Prophet Jacob from the Bani Israel (Israelites)… Zuleika, the wife of Potiphar, initially driven by lust, found her feelings evolving over time. What started as mere desire transformed into a profound devotion, a love for Joseph unparalleled in its depth and intensity."
(There are multiple ways to confess your love for someone, sexual orientation could be the one but “Love is so much more than that:
1. It is doing smth nice for someone without wanting anything in return because it is just “heart want what it wants”
2. It could be the feeling that Allah has dwell into your heart so that you could have that person in your next life and He is testing you
3. Because Allah has clearly mentioned He will never judge you on what you desire or think or feel
4. As you know; He promised that: a. “Your Lord has neither forsaken you, nor does He hate you. " He has not left you, nor has He been harsh to you as is alleged by those who want to afflict your heart and soul or trouble your feelings. For He is your Lord and you belong to Him.” (Ad duhaa 93). B. Have We not uplifted your heart for you, relieved you of the burden, which weighed so heavily on your back, and elevated your renown for you? So, surely with hardship comes ease. Surely with ˹that˺ hardship comes ˹more˺ ease. (As Sharh 94)
“Now Allah has lightened your (task), for He knows that there is weakness in you”
“And whoever does evil or wrongs himself but afterwards seeks Allahs Forgiveness, he will find Allah Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful”
[an-Nisa’ 4:110].
Allah to eve: so there is this one rule do not eat the forbidden fruit.
Eve: 🍎🍽️🥣🍴
Look at us, the quintessential examples of classic human behavior! 😂
You're absolutely right, and thank you for mentioning this video. The Messenger ﷺ said,
“When Allah decreed the creation, He pledged Himself by writing in His Book which is with Him:
‘My Mercy prevails over My Wrath.’”
“and My Mercy embraces all things” [al-A’raaf 7:156]
“And We have sent you (O Muhammad) not but as a mercy for the ‘Aalameen (mankind, jinn and all that exists)” [al-Anbiya’ 21:107]
In a nutshell, the greatest sin which will never be forgiven is to associate anything or anyone with Allah (The One).
And second which is to kill an innocent soul. No matter what you cannot kill other another person and specifically soul which refers to hurt other peoples on their weaknesses. Cuz Allah has said: “O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it to insult one’s brother after having Faith.” [Al-Hujurat 49:11]
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: ‘It is not permissible for a Muslim to frighten another Muslim.’” (Narrated by Abu Dawud)
Everything else or islamic law was necessary to run the state effectively. And there are various sayings where Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) has clearly mentioned that human beings are weak and can easily fall to err (which is specifically created by the creator just for the sake of test: because everything when wrapped back and as He promised to bring is back from the very imprint of our fingerprints: no human will be perfect but He has promised us His mercy will be the only thing to get us help), and this cycle of falling and rising in our dealings of the worldly affairs is not but just the test that Allah has demanded us to get just the passing marks. And there is no need for scholars to teach anybody anything. It is obligatory for all human beings to seek knowledge no matter the gender, age, demographics or society.
Some people make fun of a person’s appearance, manner of walking or vehicle or their likings. But there is the fear that Allah may requite the one who makes fun of others because of that. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Do not express malicious joy towards your brother’s misfortune, for Allah may have mercy on him and you may be stricken by the thing you made fun of.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi)
This is a foul sickness. Some people think that they can talk about others, and say that this is by way of joking, but it is included in the hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), “[Backbiting] your mentioning about your brother something that he dislikes.” (Narrated by Muslim)
This girl is forced to get married which is prohibited in Islam
1. it is necessary to seek her consent and permission due to the hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) that states: “The girl is not to be married until her consent has been sought.”
2. Also, it’s quite relevant to mention here the hadith narrated by Ibn `Abbas that: “A girl came to Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) and said that her father had forced her to marry someone. Thereupon, Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) gave her the choice of either accepting the marriage or nullifying it.” (Reported by Ibn Hanbal) In another version, the girl said: “Actually, I accept this marriage but I wanted to let women know that parents have no right (to force a husband on them.(Reported by Ibn Majah)
It is required from the prospective husband, when he knows that a girl does not want to marry him, not to pursue the matter even if her guardian facilitates this for him (give him permission). It is obligatory for him to fear Allah and not to approach the lady who does not want him.
he looks like eeyore ):
always haha the big boy has a resting sad face and it is so cute but so sad haha
Pmdd sucks. I hate it so much. I take meds for pmdd too.
Our dog also has squirrels in a tree toy 😂
living parallel lives!
@@stayinguppod 😂 our dog is the same color as riggins.
To the Muslim girl if you stay in the US or any Western country I will say you should live your truth and leave your home and family behind. It would be a waste of the wonderful opportunity the west gives you to live your life as your true self if you just confirm to the religious bigotry. I am from India and even though homosexuality is decriminalized here but gay marriage isn't legal or a country like Pakistan or Iran there are no other ways out unfortunately. But if you live in the west you should definitely make 100% use of this once in a lifetime freedom and opportunity
"Well, girl, take a break here. There is so much more to this world than just sexuality. I totally agree that feelings and emotions are determined and built in through some divine grand plan to test His people. But there is so much more to the person than just sexuality, don't you think?
I think Cammie and Tyran were so on point while discussing this topic... love that ❤️. We human beings have certain physical, psychological, and geographical constraints. Even this person is in states, what about her family raising her, feeding her, providing for everything, giving shelter, educating her and above all that spending their whole life and money on their children? And when they are old, and you have this hormonal rush and all of a sudden you just keep all their mercy, affection, and 'love' under your heels and walk away.
And what is the guarantee of the people supporting her? Can anybody support anyone for the rest of their life? Rationale and reasoning is what we are lacking here! It's not just about religion anymore, it's about the preservation of cultural and societal norms as well. In any part of the world, how would it be possible to accept the 'gay pride'? What are the objectives of breaking the social constructs of genders being made prior to the existence of this earth? Or let's presume back in time when there were tribes and women were physically weak but on the notion of equality all women go to war and men with physical strength stayed home!!! Does that sound normal to you? Or when the people being recruited in those units identify themselves as women and refuse to go to war!!! Or what if everyone is gay and people just wiped out from the face of the earth!
Suppose I want my parents to believe in breaking norms and patriarchal values, what am I supposed to do?
1. Show them the objective; what are they?
- I have to come out and be gay. Okay!
2. What's next? They're gonna be like, okay, who is that person whom you like!!!
- I'm just gonna be like, well, not like that. I kinda like girls but I want to explore.
3. How to explore?
- Well, I'm gonna date multiple people and find out.
4. How?
- If it's about sexuality then I'm gonna sleep with them, or we live in together!!!
5. Then will you marry?
- No, I don't know, if I like that person that much or...
6. So you break up, right, next???
- I'm gonna date the next one!!!
And see how it goes... then there are multiple scenarios as well:
- Your looks, social standings, money, lifestyle... and if they are well 50/50 there is a chance that you'll find someone but if it's 40/100 which is usually 10/100, what then???
Age is a factor as well... so what's gonna happen?
1. Frustrations
2. Anxiety
3. Depression
4. Other Psychological Factors
And in this chaos of a world where 90 out of 100 people work 9-5 their asses off to pay their bills, plus with all that...
As you said 'Your truth'... what's next? Okay you have lived your truth. What is the path from there? In this capitalistic society with everyday hustle, keeping mind, heart, and body sane, is it possible to have time for all that? Well if you have then how about leaving those people behind and hopping on new multiple loves till you get old enough to realize to have a break and evaluate what is going on!!!
Are we just some animals to go as we please and desire??? Without having any accountability for our actions and desires!!!
As per modern psychology we have 6:
- Eat
- Sleep
- Breath
- Water
- Sex
- Excretion...
And as it is fundamental but just 1 and you are leaving all 5/6... Human-being is a bubble of hormones... which determines our desires...
You said lifetime freedom and opportunities: Well can you count me some??? Freedom as you said!!! What kind of freedom is freedom? Is there any human being who is free or was there ever was or ever will be???
Freedom:
1. Multitude Ways
2. Financial
3. Religious
4. Social
But how?
1. Financial:
A. 9-5 or if small/medium size LLC or business: pay annual tax, pay general sales tax, pay medical insurance, pay house tax, pay house rent, pay for food: there is another monopoly: okay food; what food?? Do you have time to cook? Yes! So go to the local market produce but where this is also divided, you have state within state; rich neighborhood, middle class, lower or whatever stratagems…
Is there any freedom which your pocket allows and if yes where is the rights of other people around you? They're gonna hold their own parades for that like that WOKE agenda… coming back to the point okay!!! Well if you don't have time just buy some food in the boxes… inject those chemicals into your body and as you get fat go to the gym and pay them to stay healthy… so you are restricting yourself but if you want freedom just eat and get fat… because there is no shame in being fat but it is okay as per the new agenda of fat shaming because it is not necessary to take care of yourself and eat and build those layers of fat and pay pharmaceutical companies your bills plus taxes. And if you cannot afford they will let you die. I cannot see any freedom here that you have been asking about.
2. Financial: Rat race for the elites and institutions and they will spare some coins back at you. And collectively get them back by showing you hundreds if advertisements through fancy billboards and social media ads.
3. Religious: well, there is none because we have made everything so grey and shallow with multiple spectrums that there is no right and wrong. Because people get offended. Because in these times it is so easy to say …. 'OMG!!!!…. This is so mean, I’m so offended' there is no rationale or logic… because we are molding certain truths to fit our needs (well necessarily not our needs; this is just an allusion: well, whatever fancy or delicious you eat; it belongs in the past because there is not that fancy 'live in the moment
', it is gone it is transitory… because in all of that we forget to maintain that responsibility of ours whether there is someone needy around us who might not have eaten today!!!
Is there someone who is on the street in this winter, is there somebody around us who is in difficult times and need our help… is there someone who needs some support… even if I have this one meal and I saw somebody on the street with whom I can share…
Are my parents okay?? Have I checked in them!!! Because when I was little, they never slept until I was fed, sheltered and slept!!! They might have difficulty in something how could I ease that? And am I in peace after all that? If I have to eat and I choose something that costs me $50 how could I avoid that and buy something less costly and give it to other people… I think freedom is what one’s inner calling… you might not remember that food but will remember those people and laugh and chat with whom you shared your happiness with… this feels freedom to me… sharing and caring is not about just focusing on one stream or about your desires to be fulfilled but suppressing your desires is actually suppressing this cruelty and inhumanity going around you… but our problem is that we never look inwards… if you look back in history there is no empire or state or nation that can stand 1000s of years … but what matters and what is in our control is ourselves… So where is bigotry??? Please, let’s get some bigger narratives and consider multiple aspects of things… for the temporary materialistic pursuits one should not abandon what one has and could have for the rest of her life… if one can run off from their family then one might have run off from other people as well.
Human is to err but one should see is err is worthy and satisfy one’s peace and soul...
First 💕
i can not with taryn lol her little diddies of sayings and little quips lol
The taller u are the bigger your feet my are size 11 hard to find heels
"He has to be white". No matter what caveats or explanations you put around that, it always sounds weird. Jewish? That would be preferable. Just shows how silly and random racism is. Not saying you guys are racist, just a reminder that people are people. We are all human beings. Sitting through this was strange for me...a non-white, brown-eyed human.
Is it really racist to want to raise a kid who reflects your own ethnicity? An infertile heterosexual couple wouldn't be questioned over wanting their kid to look like them, so why question lesbians about it? We already grapple with having to raise a kid 50% unrelated to you (or 100% in the case of the non bio mother), picking a donor that looks like your partner is trying to reduce that feeling of not being related to your own child.
@@bilong92I specifically said in the comment that I was not calling them racist. I specifically said that. If you're birthing a baby, it is going to take after you in some way or another. If you are raising the baby without having birthed it, it will also take after you in some way or another. What a child mostly needs is love and a stable home. How brown their skin is shouldn't matter....and when it comes to giving and receiving love, it doesn't matter one bit. There is always a possibility of being "teased" about something...having freckles, buck teeth, not having a dad...anything. Sitting here listening to people with mics outline why brown skin won't work in their lives gets old. Obviously people can do what they want to do (as long as it isn't hurting anyone else), but words matter...even when you don't realize. It would have been better to say nothing about that particular question.
jewish is optional because taryn is jewish so we could teach our kid what that means to be jewish and prepare them for the world. I would be happy to have a mixed baby of any type but for our future kid decided that it doesn't feel right when I can't give them that connection to their specific background and identity. I don't even care if my kid reflects my identity it's that I want to make sure I can provide them enough insight into their own. they may already struggle with not knowing the sperm donor so I want to make sure I can give them as much connection to who they are as possible.
@@stayinguppodI totally get it. Im non white and my partner aswell. We both are looking for a donor with the same background. We like for our child to look similar to us. Nothing wrong with that at all