How to deal with negative people
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- Опубліковано 28 кві 2013
- Learn to be a people person with international bestselling author Paul McGee!
Learning how to better communicate and interact with others can really help to improve your life -- from ensuring you enjoy parties more to turning you into a roaring success magnet. Bestselling author of How to Succeed with People Paul McGee takes us through a host of different situations and explains how to deal with other people and get the best out of them. In this video series you will learn how to communicate more effectively, deal with negative people, become more resilient, learn to motivate people and deal with conflict.
In this episode Paul gives us ways to handle negative people - how to stop their negativity spreading and how to help them think more positively.
I noticed that people are negative around me because they are jealous about me. They see me exceeding and they want to bring me down to them. Remember, misery enjoys company.
I seemed to dealt with and still is my whole life. Ppl just being jealous of my so Honest and pure godly natural good hurted loved for life in a whole ways. What's crazy mitch, is I'm not even close to rich. But, my heart and soul. My truths and loyal honesty I still stand for and have so fearlessly for life and this "PRESENT"/🎁 Moment is "priceless". And, that's so why, through all the negative ppl, plc's and things I know and prepared to still come. I can just imagen how king and godly of a person I'll feel like mitch. I do☝
@@osirisomar5605 That's fine and dandy but quit forcing us to live. That's the only reason we try to make happy people miserable because you force us to live.
@@osirisomar5605 I don't mean to sound judgmental but I'm going to come off as judgmental, but you seem to have a "God Complex" going on with the way you speak about yourself. It makes you seem arrogant and self-absorbed and that's probably why you attract so much negativity. Nobody's jealous of your successes, I certainly am happy for any and all success someone achieves, but I find it annoying when people think of themselves way too highly as if their own shit doesn't stink. That's not honesty, friend, that's just pure arrogance and it never sits well with anybody.
That's right
😂@@osirisomar5605
Okay negative people aren't only people who bitch moan and wine. They're people who are jealous disrespectful bitter and more.
True!
i swear i do not begrudge those wealthier or luckier...that's ok, i'm fine. but when i see human suffering that "loved ones" turn a cold shoulder too, it chills me to the bone.
You need a drink.
They do not deserve a minute of our precious time, I just ditch them and focus on POSITIVE things or people
I honestly cannot talk to ppl anymore b/c no matter who I get with, they have nothing but negative shit to say. I wish I could meet positive ppl who are supportive and understanding.
Victoria Villalobos Magdaleno same
I'm not negative at all why I understand people's problems but that's why I stay away from them always stay away from negative people can sometime and good to be around them but I'm not negative I'm positive whatever that people want to do is I hope they do it whatever it is I want no problem with that
Are you happy because you are good, or good because you are happy. It is easy for people like you to be positive. Read Les Miserables, and you would get that saying. Wait you don't read.
Whats up. Im here
true its so shit lol
lol I came for a video about how to deal with negative people , not be friends with them and try to figure out why their salty . i could care less i just don't want them disrupting my energy
+mack Mackie Hahaha Lmao!!!!!:-)
do you realise how selfish you sound tho? I can agree with you, but at the same time we all live on the same planet, don't we?
mack mackie 💕😂👋🏾
Like someone mentioned, you already gave yourself an answer. You can ignore them, but if you need to DEAL with them, that's the purpose of this video.
I agree with you 100% I will not make excuses for people that are negative I will just tell them they are negative and tell them I do not want to be around them end of story sometimes people just need to be put in their place and I agree with you I could care less why they are negative or me figuring out why they are negative
I'm all for listening and helping people to self-help, but I don't care for people who insist on staying in their negative rut for life. Ain't nobody got time for those people!
I normally say to negative people " why are you moaning and complaining? what are you going to achieve and gain from it?" they then go quiet.
I do the same. I point out their negativity and get a similar response of them going quiet, but many times they end up giving me the cold shoulder during future interactions... any ideas on addressing that?
+Pax Lovely for me it wouldn't bother me, i tend to avoid the negativity people.
+Marc Beresford Yeah, you have no sympathy, good for you.
Hi Marc. So glad u can cope with this crap my friend
I hate positive people like you. I would die before I did one good thing in this life.
my mom is negative, stubborn and irrationally insane. i don't think there's any other way to deal with her but to avoid her as much spossible
Same
Me too
+Ayan44 Mine too...
Respect ur mother
Is there a rational insanity ? Lol
Back in high school, i knew a teacher aid who was negative with me. Whenever i brought the subject of religion or history. And she would angrily tell me to stop. And i was emotionally hurt. So i turned to positive people like my mom, a catholic priest and members of a catholic church. So with them around me, i felt more confident and filled with joy.
Excellent presentation! This is the first time I see that a speaker seeks the reasons for people's negativity...usually, authors tell you to run away from them, keep silent or confront them. I find this new tactic very human!
I try my very best to be positive and I am currently working on ignoring my past abuse as a young girl. Its difficult. I really am trying so that when I come in contact with people I know and friends, I try to be genuinely happy and cheerful around them and promote good energy. I listen to them and talk to them. But then I go back home and realize I have no one to talk to. But I also understand that if I complain about it I will just bring more negativity so I disregard it. Before I knew it I was showing signs of depression. I had no motivation to exercise and I had no confidence in my appearance so I only wear jeans and shirts with a jacket. Then people question me "You have such a nice figure why don't you wear dresses or straighten your hair?' And all I can say is, I feel more comfortable this way. But really, I realized I am living in a self-sustained bubble of low self esteem. I will continue to be positive around others, but I eagerly await the day I can be positive towards myself.
+Shalea Shaw Hi beautiful.
I just wanted to write something and tell you that YOU are the love YOU desire. Love yourself even when you cannot love yourself by simply being quiet. Feeling your breath. Letting go of the past. Watching your thoughts as they come up. And simply accepting yourself as you are.
Now.
Noone can love you like you love yourself. Please believe me. But that is ok. Because you do not need their love. You already have the love you wish for inside. You are that Love
Peace
I am sorry to hear about your abuse and how hard that it is. You have to understand u are bigger then that selfish person and that experience doesnt lessen who are you. Learning to love thy self is hard for anyone and just when u think you found youself is when you have to start the cycle all again...lol dont be hard on yourself...medicate, do yoga , learn u and love u..and learn to be selfish(i learned that now in my 30's)
Shalea Shaw 😢
hope you better now :)
Isn't there a time when it is best to set a boundary and say, "Enough, I've listened to you and heard as much as I can handle"! By this time I tell them I don't want them to tell me any more negative thoughts.
One friend in particular, even after I've listened, tried to understand the underlying issues, and empathized and they still continue to be negative...possibly even increase their negativity because now they have someone who pays attention. It is a delicate balance. I obviously don't know what to do.
I need to listen to these type of videos often, I AM A POSITIVE PERSON , and I always try to be around positive things, but when I meet negative people I just don't know how to deal with them, I always say to myself how those people go through life with NEGATIVITY like that
I said exactly the same words to my boyfriend today...he is such a negative up person.. I asked him how he manages to live like this 24/7..
my father is so negative and ironically he is a motivational speaker..i just got off he phone with him and he spent 30 mins on why I should leave my business...after i told him how I am growing
Same with my dad ...always encouraged me to settle for less .. unfortunately.. now I need to have secrets about my projects afraid his negative energy will make me loose confidense.
that made me laugh... a negative motivational speaker. I hope your business is thriving and your dad is more encouraging these days. Be well!
My boss is very negative. The reason why he loves everyone else except me is because I'm a positive person.
Lol. Love u dude
Nate S If only every person was like you
Your the negative
I use the term "black hole of of negativity" - They suck in all positivity around them no matter how hard you try. But don't tip toe around them. Be direct with them "You're so negative to be around - Boy you're really killing my joy" - And I like this guys advice to joke about it "Hey everybody, Mary is going to give us all an encouraging pep-talk - gather around" LOL
You sir know exactly what you are talking about. This would not only promote compassion and humanity but would also result in a peace of mind for us in the long run. Other UA-cam gurus on this subject should get some advise from you.
Thanks. Excellent insights. Freedom from negativity in the world is whats it is ALL about IMO
1
Ha! I’ve tried to challenge them in a positive way by showing an example but it backfired. Because I love them dearly, naturally I tried. It’s exhausting. Like you said “what if it’s in their nature?.” You can’t change people. Most of the negative people I know if not all have some kind of self esteem issue and this is something that can’t be taught or given to you. It comes from within you and only you can curve or change it.
I thought disengaging might work, but it can come off either rude ,or like he said in the video it can also be passive because you allow more negativity by not speaking up. A more direct approach may be necessary. Ive had this habit of turning their negativity into a joke or something positive, but Ive grown exhausted with this approach. If calling out someone out will actually get the behavior to stop, Im all for it now.
Love the transition at 0:49 where he goes off screen and it swipes with words. Then he swipes back onto the screen. Really great way of bringing the words in the frame. Loved it a lot! Great work.
Thank You makes sence; negative people may not know there misrable by nature. Or may not even know that they are a negative force & attract a negative mindset .
What an excellent video! "Focus about what IS on the menu, not what ISN'T on the menu."
I see a some people here dislike or hate positive people.
I just wanna say not to confuse positivity with blantant ignorance.
Most positive people do express emotions, understand others, and recognize what reality is. Ignorant folk don't.
To me, being negative is okay to an extent, such as expressing yourself or recognizing a downfall of a situation. I'd just rather not carry myself in a miserable fashion literally everyday nor be around such of it.
I'd love to help someone who's in negative state, except my only downfall is I absorb others emotions really well.
Some people are just depressed.
Plus whenever someone is unhappy and miserable with themselves, their lives, and their choices.
In high school, there was this teacher aid who was negative and mean spirited. One time I was discussing religion. Catholicism. And the negative teacher aid was angry. She said, "That's enough Alan. No more taking about religion. Shut up!!" I was outraged and angry. And almost wanted to say, "Robin Bourey, just because you have a miserable and negative life doesn't mean you can shut me out. I have rights to speak my mind. And you can't make my life miserable." But I didn't. Instead I sat down angrily and said nothing
I love how u have some solutions. Other videos just focus on the person receiving. But u say deal with the negative person. I believe confidence has something to do with what I'm dealing with. Love ur video thank u
I love your style and I think you speak a lot of common sense. Obviously the video is short and can only deal with a few topics but I'd like to add in some people are negative to attempt to gain power over other people.
I have a neighbour like this and there's only one solution with her and that is to let her bully you. Clearly there's no communication or friendship to be had and just sometimes with negative people you need to steer clear.
Of course, this still has consequences because I have excluded her from just walking into my house whenever she feels like it (and her husband just 'borrowing' and breaking my stuff) now she bitches about me to the other people who don't know how to handle her. Cest la vie!
I'm going to watch your other videos and I look forward to any more you do. Thanks for your hard work!
A bully neighbor brought me here too. I feel like he wants a response, he gets off on it. I am beginning to believe ignoring him would diminish his power. We have already confronted him, now I think all we can do is ignore because he won't stop his daily harassment. I believe he is a sociopath so he will never stop.
once we ignore them they start saying nasty names
a few months ago i had a German language B1 level final examination and i have passed successfully but during the 6 months course i faced a lot of problem With my negative teacher she used to tell me your not fit to this class , why you don't go to a basic class, when i pronounce something she was always criticizing on her style.......when i passed the exame she was staring at me and that meant a lot to me. but she didn't know that i committed to pass the exame.
I have a teacher at school who annoys me she humiliated me in front of the class
My daily life has been harrassed by soo many negative people in college. They are my social circle and I cant really get out of it. There is this one kid who says I am ugly and calls others fat while being short and fat himself. The irony is he struggles through classes with Ds and I feel so sorry for him I help him. He absolutely pisses me off. To make up for his insecurity, he buys a shit ton of designer clothing and wears them. What is messed up is he looks so stupid because hes walking around like hes some thug on a private college campus known for professional, smart, people. Then there is this other kid who calls me stupid and belittles me all the time. He has a bunch of cronies that laugh at me to whatever he says. This kid is has not even been in the country for 3 months and he talks shit about the US, my school, politics, people, and even his roomate. I asked him a question: Why are you here if you hate this place so much? It shut him up and ever since then he has belittled me. This kid has a balding head, a pot belly, and he wears a faded old polo every day. He looks like a dad at 18 years old and he is ridiculous. No one likes him because of his personality and I only associate with him because, unfortunately, he is from my nationality and I have to look after him for his sake. The school set this up as a coupling program for international students... I am an extremely positive person and I found my passions in music, neuriscience(BS) and working out. I also like to dress sharp and be the best I can be every day. I see that these people are projecting their insecurities and are jealous of me. That is the only way they can feel good is to belittle me since I seem to loom over them. They dont see that I had their insecurities once and I overcame them. They dont realise that they can too and I am happy to help them. I was once fat. I once had a terrible haircut. I once was terrible at school. I once hated my environment. I once had a shitty roomate. I can and want to help them but they are focused on tearing me down instead of raising themselves up. I will try these things ive learned here on listening and asking their opinion on bettering the issues they are so negative about and see what happens..... but I have little hope. I might have to restructure my social circle. Any advice?
My roommate constantly looks at and shares everything negative. He is a retired 65 year old gay man. Not only is he negative, but, he's a narcissist. He always has to be right even when he's negative. He always wants to hold me back by trying to get me to get a "REALITY CHECK." I like to remain positive and always look at the bright side. I challenged his behavior today and it turned into an argument. He had to get his negativity out, but, I couldn't speak, he wouldn't let me. How do I deal with him? Should I move out? His negativity is now bleeding into my conversations with people and holding me back from getting a job.
I wish I could give you some good advice. However, I think you need to tell him that you can't take his negativism and it needs to change or you can't be roommates anymore. I feel sorry for you. Be strong! Hang in there! Wish you the best!
+Mitchell Gordon
You should find another place to live. Your roommate's negativity eventually will damage his health; if you don't get away from him, then his negativity eventually will damage your health as well.
Good News!!! I moved out on September 17.........Ding, Dong, The Witch is DEAD.....We got into a verbal fight and I finally left!!!!!! Now my rent is $220 more per month, but, no more RULES!!!!
Mitchell Gordon
Good for you!!
What if it's other people that make me negative? I just can't get rid of them? Not in a legal way atleast.
lol same
i use think i could help, fix, change negatives. all i ended up with was a loss of time, energy and more abuse. less focus on these vampers was my cure
I have to put up with negative people in my life lol!
I have people trying to putting me down by criticising me due to having a better fashion sense than them and getting the most compliments and receiving the nicest gifts.
These people are the most weakest people that are very jealous and insecure which makes them want to elevate themselves and push you down in order to get a buzz out of it.
absolutely spot one! ive learnt a lot from what you've said ... thank you so very much !
There are other reasons too:
Their parents or friends arent nice to them.
Sometimes but not always might be right about you..
Have an underlying injustice or painful past which they are overcompensating for.
People can be negative in life from serious situations. Other than calling them names and bitching about them yourself, maybe helping them is the right solution.
You're right, Victor. Let me rephrase what I meant. There are people out there who are negative and want help, whereas there are the minority, I would like to believe, who do not. And I was slightly disappointed this video didn't include the ones who wish to change, but the ones who crave the attention of the negativity or are just plain miserable.
+Leah Crossley my roommate is that way. Always has to bring negativity. Everything about his life is negative, and whenever positivity is introduced he scurries away. I don't get it. Do they not one the side effects? He does. I preach about how it's killing him, and he doesn't budge. I try and try and in that time he has brought me. So it's time to move on. I'm only 21, so I'm moving in with my mother and stepdad to get a help with a new positive, prosperous life. Lol
Love getting curious about resistance...mine and that of others! xo
fantastic advice, great tutor.... well done love yur style of lecturing
Excellent!
In most cases, Its the feeling of injustice..
Nice piece. thanks.
Miserable in nature. YES. I mean there are a lot of ways to be happy but negative people really chooses not to.. Tho you tried to reach out and feel sorry of what you did unfairly to them, they just don't want to move on. I see it for myself. I just stay quiet and I really want to get out of this environment because it really sucks to be around with them. Negative people have kind of split and playing the victim personality. The best way to deal with them is really AVOID them even making eye to eye contact. That is to make them aware you CUT the ties. For family, this is I guess the worst part. Constant communication is key but if non-related people, don't bother. It's a waste of time talking to a non-existent ghost (i called them as such because i don't see em anymore).
Great teaching here! Thanks for all the helpful advice.
This is excellent and so true !!
Should be a link for this book, great points. This situation I experience is with my mom and times she can be good help and wants the best but it's usually from fearful angle. How can I tell her to keep that away negative twist from me. I know at times her concerns are in the right place such as to tidy my space but then I have a resistance to her as on high average she will say something not needed and negative. My view of her as well is she never wanted to develop herself due to fears and giving up which I noticed growing up and so I push myself and have occasional set backs and Inbalances which she tries to highlight with no solutions and only criticism. It's a learning process for me I know what the basic good qualities of a person are but as I was told there are some qualities with greater benefits which automatically permits a base quality set in place naturally.
Very good video,thank you for posting.
Im a negative person trying to change. My negativity comes from childhood unmeet needs coming from a dysfunctional family. Being an idealist and ha ing unrealistic expectations, being depressed for years, being highly sensitive, having very good manners and being too honest.
Loli Sierra Yup. That would do it. You can work your way out of that. Promise!
I think that groups that specialize in tormenting others in workplaces and in other social environments necessarily ought to be confronted by other groups that specialize in non-violently intimidating them into submission. Shaming the bullies individually and collectively. Preemptively neutralizing the destructive potential before it becomes actualized. No one should have to be at the mercy of someone else's verbal or physical intimidation of them. Theoretically no one has to be. Not only is there strength in numbers: there's also raw brute physical power.
Great advice, sir!!
I had in the past experiences with negative coworkers.. its just so drowning. I still suffer from that time and have a hard time being positive.. I had panic attacks bcuz of this for more than 4 years..
its really impossible for me to socialize, work, live a normal life cause I am soo afraid of people at this point. I lost my job, my friends, everything its just not normal how mean they were
I'm very negative, am trying to reprogram my brain to be positive. I enjoyed your video and would love a free copy of your book.
My family needs to watch this.
So interesting and informative. Great job
some people just enjoy their negative style...no how matter how much u speak life to them..they reaction and action is just negative...some people just love being miserable
You are correct you're right up on me but some people are too stubborn to realize like my friend
The lobster example was hilarious!!
Very interesting and helpful
Thank u so much!!!
very true great video :)
The comments are horrible... 😢
Negative people are people too! They have problems, suffering, reasons to be themselves.
If you manage to understand them, you will help them. When you help negative people, they become positive or at least neutral.
After all, we are energy. And negative energy can be channeled to a better use. 😃
That is so true, all negative energy can eventually be channeled into something better
Thanks!!!
Their negativity diminishes my positivity
In my experience unless the negative, or jealous, person doesn't come to their senses by their early thirties then it's too late. By then they can't change and are basically wired for negative energy. By then they are masters at destroying joy whenever they encounter it.
Sometimes you keep trying and they keep choosing to be miserable
Hi B L, you can also check our video on How to deal with Negative People at ua-cam.com/video/kzs7dgBEC5c/v-deo.html
In this video, we discuss everything you need to know so you can overcome negativity.
We speak to so many people who are struggling with this and feel held back by this and you’d be surprised by how many of our clients come to us are feeling drained because of a negative environment.
Hope this video would be of help to you.
@@thewellnesstheoryok man
love it.
It's funny how different our perspectives and experiences are, and how they change over time.
Anyone wanna trade intolerant roach people for the negative person in their life. I'm more equipped to dealing with familial issues as I'm sure you're more equipped to dealing with social ones.
good explanation and good advice
No one is miserable by nature.
MsPardaillan maybe their negativity is just a bad habit
Thank you
Dear Paul,
Thank you for this useful video.
Do you have a video or an advice on how to deal with people who alomost regularly find faults with you and whatever you do, most often by falsley friendly remark, advice, or even "friendly" laughter at any little mistake or percieved mistake you make. These are the most negative people as far as I am concerned. What do you call this category of people and how to protect oneself from them?
Best regards
Bato
He forgot the MOST important rule! Negative people CANNOT be reasoned with. My mother is "negative by nature," and all she sees is horrible, disgusting or...disgusting. I try to make her smile or laugh, but her face just hangs like melting clay. She also criticizes me and puts me down on a daily basis and I'm a very peaceful guy. Please god help these people. They suck the life out of us and make us feel horrible. I suffer with depression and everyday I struggle to stay positive but my mom's negative energy is so powerful, that I feel it strike my body like lightning as soon as I see her. I love her so much. I wish to God she would change before it is too late.
I feel ur pain. My mom is the same. All my life I've heard her complain about her marriage, her in-laws, her life..... I don't think she ever realised how that effected my relationships with my dad or my grand parents.
I finally moved out when I finished uni & got a job. I lov her to death. But I keep my distance from her. I call every day, but for 10 mins. I'm careful about what info I give her about my life. Coz she is v quick to catch on to something & then use that to make me miserable later.
There's a saying that unless u want to help urself, even God can't help u. So don't waste ur energy trying to fix somebody else. Instead focus it on being the best of what u r. It's a slow process. But there's nothing more powerful than the mind.
Believe me when I say there's a silver lining to every cloud, it just depends on where u look for it.
Wish u all the luck & best for ur life. Stay strong.
I have very abusive little brother he’s really negative picks on my cousins and kids don’t know how to react if can help makes them cry and stuff
4:20 "Wouldnt 'it be lovely to go into McDonalds and say: I'll have the Lobster thermidor please !"
I've been told that McDonalds, did/do have lobster rolls in New England...
What about if I challenge "that" and the person has a tantrum and breaks your things or take something away as Passive Aggressive tactic to hurt me, if I try to stand by my bounders, finally?
Plz suggest.. I have been doing this.. but I end up being used n exploited... They use me when they need n then manipulate when they want.. but the worst part is I feel like something is stuck in my throat n I can't reply.. can u plz suggest something
People with salty attitudes are easily my #1 pet peeve. I sometimes feel like beating the hell out of them to give them a much deserved rude awakening whenever they direct that shit toward me for whatever reason. But it certainly does not help that two of such people happen to be my very own brother and sister.
They could literally just be in overdrive mode without knowing it, like overcompensating for struggles or past pain/trauma. maybe they are exhibiting behaviours they didnt even realize are a problem. Like old bad habits kinda thing. Or perhaps they are being indirectly defensive towards everyone without actually realizing how they are impacting other people. Like their ego is about protecting themselves and they are projecting that unknowingly.
Using humor on my mom will only become life lecture!
I need this as I have to deal with negative people everyday and it’s causing me to nearly commit suicide because of the way I am I can’t be my self I can’t live my life I can’t do or be myself without negative people around me this is why I prefer to be an introvert for the rest of my days on this evil planet 🌍 thanks for the video
He has Louis Tomlinson's voice!!!💖
National Day Nurseries Association (NDNA) is a national charity and membership association representing children’s day nurseries across the UK. As part of our online training material, NDNA would like to include the above video to support our
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I’m nice to my little brother but he’s just really negative he insults kids he’s so different from me makes but upset very feel anxious around him
funny thing is that a high % on here that commented about other people being negative are being negative =p haha classic
Tomasz Dabrowski I noticed that too. As though they'd never find themselves in a rut.
Humans are curious... 😂
Im here and i cant sleep. Because i have colleagues that is so pessimistic. I dont know if she is aware of it. But every situation she keep thinking it will get worse.
And i really want to unfriend her but she a nice person. But her negative aura is so intoxicating.
Greetings! *I desire good to you.* 🎉🎉
BMW's omg I'll be using that one... 😂
omg...when i try to support the ones who have it rough, the ones that can do something about it will avoid me because they are fine with it, it makes me so frustrated.
Thanks (:
funny how negative people are in the comments, wanna make the world a better place? take a look at yourself and make a change. ;)
whats reason number 4? because i have friends who just wont give up at all on this negativity... and yeah i do use humor and all that good stuff but it just persists and its just not cool at all.
Are you from St. Helen's?
The negative blood typ bullshit got me,negative blood type especially ab negative are rare.and precious,
+MsPardaillan tell a lie.. it nearly bothered me yesterday, luckily i dealt with it but it was hard, you just have to keep strong, maybe listen to some uplifting/meditation music to help go through the day.
i've been reading a lot of law of attraction books lately, if you follow it carefully, it really does help, your minds become more clearer.
the more positivity you put into your mind, the better the outcome, it may take a while but its worth it, trust me!
this is why I am here listening.. but Sometime people will get you to the point of frustration...or we allow them to get us there. BE BLESSED
My ex is a miserable conniving person constantly bitching and moaning when she's not being paranoid and jealous that people like me cos i try to be pleasant and friendly! Especially the friends i made cos she introduced me to them??!! So i told her so! She's still NOT happy! But i felt better.
Pessimistic people aren’t people you should be friends with. I’m warning y’all
It really was..