How to Deal With Negative People
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- Опубліковано 2 вер 2016
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Brendon Burchard is the world’s leading high performance coach, a 3-time New York Times bestselling author, and one of the most-watched, quoted, and followed personal development trainers in history. SUCCESS Magazine and O, The Oprah Magazine, have both named him one of the most influential leaders in personal growth and achievement. Forbes named him the world’s leading high performance coach and Larry King named him the world’s top motivational trainer.
Brendon’s personal development trainings have more than 500 million views. Over 3,000,000 students have completed his online courses and video series. He’s created 20 blockbuster online courses in personal and professional development, including the most popular motivation, confidence, habits, leadership, and high performance courses of all time. For these results, Oprah.com named him “one of the most successful online trainers in history.” Success Magazine named Brendon “one of the Top 25 Most Influential Leaders in Personal Growth and Achievement.” Brendon has been on the cover of Success Magazine twice.
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This is a life skill i am determined to master. My environment is so negative sometimes, i feel like i have to reprogram my mind out of all the negative conditioning it's had over the years. Great video, really needed to hear this
KadClem same here to be honest :(
hate to get off subject but you are truly beautiful!
James Anthony thank you
The pleasure was mine! And I am also sorry that I didn't compliment you beautiful words too. I am in the same boat!
James Anthony i wrote that comment a few months ago and although my immediate environment hasn't changed, my outlook on life has. I gave my life to Christ, baptised on the 29th January 2017 🙌🏽❤ best decision i ever made. I've learned so much, prayed, read uplifting books ect. It really helped
This couldn't have came at a better time. But the thing with empathising is this negative person in my life is negative 24/7. There's not a day were they don't complain. I've tried empathising and understanding them but you can only help those who want to be helped.
I agree. And you clearly have those peeps out there who don't want to be helped and actually want to stay in their dark hole of negativity.
+MsInteresting I completely understand this. I feel like at that point the best thing to do is to make it apparent how much better it is on the sunnier side of life rather than the darker side, so they can WANT to make that change and make it to that side instead of thinking their comfort zone they've developed within their negativity is "good enough" or "fine"
Amina K I'm in the same boat from. I'm woke up from the negativity in the morning till I close my eyes its nonstop ..its rubbing off on me at times and I'm bothered by it
Amina K I agree! You can’t help people that doesn’t need your help. Although I try to offer some solutions but at the end it is up to them if they want to take it or not.
Sometimes it gets so worse that It's affecting my way of consuming food. Most of the time I eat once a day. Which I notice that I am starting to lose weight :( but I see the light on this dark path.
I'm surrounded by negative people at work. I put on my headphones and try ignore them.
Me too
I do the same..put on som relaxing music nd stay busy in my work
Absolutely.. I am home every day and get bombarded with it. I keep my headphones in. But it has stopped me from doing anything really .. it is absolutely torn me apart and I have heard I’m going to be sick so much that it has happened lol I’m glad I found this
I won’t speak about it I will just practice centeredness .. and look at this as a learning experience and challenge .. everything we encounter is for our own good
Do that to the wrong person and they might hurt you out of fear of abandonment or insecurity, it sucks but its true
Every positive person needs to hear this
this video filled me with again energy , made my day....!!
And IAM one of them
that's why im here😊
@@akashkatoch7088 nonono
Nononononono
“ Use that challenge as your own character development “ yes!
It's true that your family, co-workers, etc. may be negative. And yes, empathy and compassion go a long way. However, if certain people are chronically negative you have to ask yourself if you want to do be around them all of the time. How does this serve you? What are you getting out of it? Are you addicted to drama?
Let's look at this further using co-workers as an example. These are people who are most likely not showing up (unless you're good friends with them) to your holiday dinners, weddings, BBQs, etc. Don't get sucked into their drama. Send them lots of love and wish them well. You can try to help them shift their energy as was suggested, but keep in mind that everyone has FREE WILL. They may not be open to change.
If you're married to someone who's negative all of the time, you may want to ask yourself what you're getting out of the relationship. You may want to also ask how you may be contributing to the negativity. Maybe you expect too much. Perhaps you don't say "I love you" enough. Maybe your partner feels you take him/her for granted. You need to communicate and get to the bottom of the issue. Relationships aren't one sided.
If you are rude or have a bad day, be aware of your reaction and 'check' yourself to find out 'why'. It's easy to blame others, i.e., someone cut you off in traffic. However, when you go deep and get to the 'root' of why you reacted, you may discover that you're unhappy with your life. Maybe you're ready to move on from a relationship and don't know how to do it. Perhaps you're ready to move away and your family is trying to talk you out of it. Get to the bottom of what's bugging you.
A little emotional maturity can go a long way. But you have to be ready to take responsibility for your life and recognize that you do have control over how you react to situations, the words you speak, the thoughts you think, etc.
P.S. Keep in mind that some people may not be open to playing a game of trying to attend to their energy. Listen to your gut instinct on this one. Don't force people to do something they don't want to do.
I agree
agree.....get away RUN from these negative folks....they are trouble .. life is too short to be around losers.....
👌
True! There’s a distinction between encouraging hopeful outlooks/outcomes and martyrdom. We may add value to others’ happiness; however, we are not responsible for it.
That's how someone in my family is. I've tried everything to deal with her incessant negativity, but she keeps on talking about how bad everything is around her. In reality, she's fine, healthy, has no debt, has several properties, a pension, and successful children. But she doesn't think so.. and, instead, she's always complaining about how miserable the country she lives in is, how there's no money for her to move to a better place..etc. I'm sometimes afraid of looking at her messages because I feel she's going to say something terrible happened. She leaves me EXTREMELY EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTED, and DEPRESSED after I talk to her. I'm at the point where I want to cut her off my life for my own sake. The problem is that she's a very close family member...
Powerful the dark side is. Easy it is to fall into its grip. Difficult it is and effort it takes to get up from the shadows and stand in the light. Worth it it is to find balance in love and understanding. Wise Brendon is. Listen to him we must.
I was around negativity at work. My manager was the most emotionally unstable person. She would yell and scream and talk badly about others. In an otherwise professional environment, she certainly didn't fit the company culture. Nonetheless, I was miserable every day. I decided to leave after 7 months. I never left a company earlier than 4 years. My longest tenure was 9 years. I never had issues working with others until them. It's not always about sympathizing. Some people are just negative. Good video though.
The way that Brendon describes some examples is with the people who "snap", but are not necessarily negative always. As he said, more or less all of us have negative moments in our lives, right? Sometimes we are that negative person for an hour, two, maybe a day.
The difference is that when people are momentarily negative, you hang on with them (especially if they're important to you, close to you or in general bears some significant impact to your life), try to use sympathy/empathy until they get over it and move on.
But there are some people who are negative SO OFTEN (to the point where they are negative (according to your standards) every single day and that just drains the energy and brings you down), and for those people this training may not be needed. These kinds of people should probably simply be removed from your life or at least limit the exposure to them and their vibes.
I listen to this every week just as a reminder so I can be a better coworker! Too much negativity at work and it has a tendency to suck me in if I'm not mindful of my purpose! Thanks for a great way to start the day!!
Jody Gatlin i might need it now
Hi Brendon, I'm Isaac and I'm 16 yrs old from California. I found you on UA-cam and fell in love with your messages😁. I recently bought the motivation manifesto and the charge and they have opened my eyes to new understandings. Keep doing what your doing😁👍hope all is well
Be Kind; Everyone You Meet is Fighting a Hard Battle - Plato
A rule to live with. Makes you so much more compassionate.
Important to tell the difference between negative people and abusive people. Compassion and curiosity are useful with negative folks but abusive people are best avoided or their power over others limited, called-out and challenged.
I would empathize, but I also have bad days and I don't take it out on people, so I don't see why they have to.
Wow! In a culture where we have learned to "write off" or "get rid of" people we disagree with, this message is so refreshing! Thank you for being an instrument of love and peace.
I always try to remember that I dont know what has happened in their day or their life and perhaps they have reason to feel that way but that doesnt mean that I allow their attitude to affect my day. But sometimes understanding is the first step to changing something.
We have to ask “ what do you mean by negative ?”
I remember what a great manager I once worked with said at a company meeting - he said “always listen to negative as well as positive comments at a meeting !”
History is full of examples where disasters occurred - later it was found that people had been forewarned but didn't listen !
The insights were offered by negative people and not listened to !
You are so right - use them !
Use their energy, so good. Stay present and use it. You don't know what they are going through. Always observe and understand the other person's point of view. I think the really negative people that we run into are people that are just lost and don't know there way. Always take a step back and spread positive energy. Most of the time things are really not as bad as they seem. Perhaps we make things harder than they really are. I love when he says to use it to develop something as your strengths, and allows you to serve people =) so great
Brendon, this came at a perfect time :) I didn't want to discard my friend, and just asked her to leave me out of the negative talk. Thinking about asking her was he hardest part! She was understanding and accepting of my request. Thanks! Gave me goosebumps. :)
I live with negative people who are always ready to provoke me with really hurtful words but I don't respond a single word to them and this makes me empowering
Thank you for this video. I love it! And you're right, you can't escape negativity especially if it's eminating from your family. 💜
Thanks for so clearly articulating something I've been working on lately. Love it, very helpful!
After two years watching your videos, for some reason this one put you in another level Brendon. Thanks!
This is sage advice Brendon. I've been dealing with some energy issues at home, but this idea of 'challenging ourselves' is a great shift of perspective. Thanks for all the work you do. Rock on.
Absolutely love this and needed it today because it is such am important lesson and this is how a leader would behave!!! To raise the energy of a group from negative to positive! Thank you Brendon. Xxx
This is something I have to master....I was going through a tough time lately...This method of dealing with negative people is a timely solution for me ..Thank you Brendon
Brendon - I just saw 2 of your videos and I must say that I'm impressed with your positive energy. Your video can spark the lights in people. I wish all negative people can just start their day by just listening to you and take the benefit of the tips you have provided. Great Job in giving back to the society and taking this step in sending such a simple message so beautifully.
Thank you so much, you've helped me with getting out of a horrible disagreement with someone. Have a blessed day.
Thanks for your valuable, actionable advice! Super food for thought and action.
Perfect timing just had a talk with someone tonight. just like many other people came at the perfect time! Praise God!
thank you so much God bless you..you are the best teacher I'm starting to live my life and enjoy it ... from Iraq
You are always the best Brendan ! thanks a lot.
I'm going to do that for all the negative people around me ! 💪❤
I have an enormous amount of empathy compassion and I am extremely kind person have put up with negative people who do not want to change and it did nothing but drain me as a result I have learned simply not to deal with negative people who are unwilling to put in work to change and I'm finding very few are willing to do so I don't care anymore it's about self-preservation that may sound selfish but to bad I'll help those who want to help themselves bottom line.
Your positivity is contagious....
Thanks for sharing your knowledge and wisdom
Great video! Every time I get surrounded by negative people I watch this💪😩 to help me deal with them rather than just getting negativity
I actually watched this because I want to learn how to deal with my own mother, so it's helpful that you started the video with "you know what, sometimes you can't just get rid of everything!" That being said, it's taking my own personal development to new heights to understand why my own mother truly feels she's justified to treat me like she hates me. I won't say she does hate me, despite her telling me she does and having ample evidence, because that would be making assumptions about what's in someone else's mind and heart. But goddamn it if finding compassion for someone who treats their own kid like they're a worthless piece of shit isn't difficult! When it's the hardest, that's where there is most room for growth. I'm slowly beginning to understand that her life has been hard, extremely lonely, and indefinitely disappointing - she needed a scapegoat for it all ("if you hasn't been born when I was 19, I would have been somebody.") It's not necessarily fair to me, but it's reason enough to have compassion for her. She's very unhappy. I'm learning to observe but never absorb her energy, disengaging, not faulting myself. Thank you :)
I felt the same as your are teaching, that those who run from negative people are of a weak sense, we can certainly see the challenge and face it, be empathetic, learn about them, teach them the positive side of all things, wish them the best and let them know
🦋Amen, be a ray of sunshine in the negativity - given it brings me joy to know my joy irritates the negative
Plus one! I'm not trying to start fires neither. But if they WET THE BLANKET AND BLAME THE BED, that's THEIR problem, not mine nor yours. Stay strong, yet don't stay around too long. Yet if you do (and I used to too), please DON'T EVER beat yourself up about it. You will handle this!! (If that's what's happening right now in your life. Trust your GUT!)
PS--Withstanding my comment that I thought you might be cute, YOU ARE, and I see that you make your own presentations and I'm on UA-cam too much myself. (Had to click on the ID to magnify the image just to confirm what I saw because my eyes are just not the same at 50, ha ha)
My 50-yr old eyes* are proven right clicking on the YT ID here... It looks like you have some titles describing what I've been through and I'll hear what you have to say.. at best it will help me and at worst it will not hurt me. Signing off, a dude who is not into being toxically** neutral to themselves.
*I had above average eyesight as a young adult and kid.
**Ironically the word toxic is getting ruined by some people who are projecting their own toxicity. I'm not one of those. However, if I supposedly am to a NARC, good! (That's when NO CONTACT without announcement happens from me). I used to stick around for a little too long here and there with people, but I escaped that permanent fate myself
Right what & when I needed to hear! Thank you so much for putting this video up.
Great stuff Brendan. Your videos are so helpful in improving my life.
I am glad I came across your video. I’m dealing with a friend who is constant in a negative mindset - I love this video and your approach. It’s very helpful
You are so positive, Thank you Brandon!!! Great ideas
this short video of yours helped me out a lot, i will watch it a few more times to soak up the message very well. wish i had bumped in to your videos some time ago.
This is such an important message. People think that getting rid of "negative people" and belittling them is virtuous but it is in fact the complete opposite.
Really needed this just right now!
Thank you so much. It saved my day! I really love advice no. 2 and I am going to keep practicing taking charge of my emotion to the peaceful state no matter what happens.
Something different from things I learned from self-development book. It’s refreshing and practical. For a while, I was so discouraged, as my better half constantly bombard me with how things are going to go wrong and how life sucks. At least now I have an idea other than the standard “get rid of negative people” answer.
Sir ,Your videos saving my life literally.
Awesome message! Thanks for putting out there!
I love this advice so much. Thank you for this
You sir are a Godsend. Thank you for the vid!
this guy really talks sense and his advice is vizable to apply .. Thank you Brendon
Thank you , a lot of people needs to hear this !!
"Shift it... pointing out humor or just leveling up." Every time you share something in the charge life for your viewers I just nod my head in agreement "like hey, that's what I do." Thank you Brendon.
Thank you Brendon, you are doing great things
All solid answers. Thank you Sir!!
Love these suggestions
Thank you so much for this, this really helped me 💪🏽
Wow really needed this today. Thank you so much!
I loved your ideas Brendon
GREAT! Thanks
I desperately needing THIS advice for negative co-workers
GREAT advice 👍
Finally someone being REAL- thank you for your perspective- I have so felt that it is not realistic to be able to just do away with all negativity in life, so onboard with not feeling the need to own someone else's negativity...that makes all the difference, seeing them as a teacher of how you don't want to be, and maybe just maybe if you stay positive you will rub off on them. 😉
Love it !! This is so true
Yes! Very true
Great! It's always vital this reminder that leadership is about leadind our own energy and then shift outside energy. thank you!
THANK YOU!! ive been doing this.. you've given it a label for me....
Very very good point.
A very interesting phenomenon is that so many negative people try extremely hard to get rid of other negative people.
People rather try hard to be snobbish than try to be really really positive.
Thank to Brendon's wise advise. Hope we can all be better people. :)
Chun-Hao Peng it's rather easy to pretend to achieve something big than really doing the grit to achieve greatness and to stay there
I love you man, I needed this
My daughter has paranoid scizophrenia for 20 years .I could handle it before as I let her vent but then she was fun before . Now it’s constant negative and she can’t control it . So I need to hang out with more friends . When I had menopause I prayed I wanted my brain back , funny saying but before I could take people negative talk and let it pass through my brain . It’s hard for me to explain but I bought a book on menopause and really helped me also I took meds which helped . I felt back to myself after 3 years and no meds . So happy about that.I need to focus on self care and self esteem . It really helps your advice thank you .
your advices are the best. they are extreamly helpful. hope you will do more of these kind of videos. and thanks
Definitely a powerful video! Thank you💕 this helped me and has changed my perspective on a lot of things. I will be applying your tips to my life.
Goodness! GOOD LOVING BLESSINGS !
💯💯
Wow. Thank you. I needed that.
Thanks Brendon!
New wisdom
New way to act
New perspective.
Thank you Brandon
#SecretsSelfMadeBillionsires
I have been doing this for last 18 yrs. But frankly, it is not easy all day to keep your calm . Here, negative people take us for granted. Which also needs to be dealt with .
Love the introducing the postive things your greatful for .
thank you so much. I really need this.
your videos helped me so much. you are amazing ! thanks for everything :)
my husband always blame me. today his car had something wrong on it. he blame me because he can't buy a car. which is not my fault to correct his own mistake.
Can understand ur situation..its really difficult when that negativity comes frm nearones
Divorce.
I hope things are better for you. I realize you posted this two years ago. You might be greatly helped by listening to UA-cam videos on How to Deal with Narcissists. ANY how to's on Narcs--even the young people without degrees are great.
Live Him!
Narcissism
So true! I'm working on it so they see it made me better than make me break..
You are amazing. I had a terrible day and I feel better now :)
exactly! this guy is a good man.. if he really follows this, then he is a fighter.
Really needed this ❤️ Thank you
Needed to hear this today !!! Thanks Brendon
I am so thankful for you, thank you!!!
Excellent, Thanks Brendon!
I am positive....my energy is good and the joy of the Lord ìs my strength... God is good all the time.... Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice... I agree...... yeheey!!!
AMAZING TIPS! LOVE IT. THANKS
This is actually the real solution. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, I’m going to implement these tips!
I really needed this, all my family are negative people, especially my brother sigh
Found this video really helpful.thank you so much
You’ll be getting rid of probably more than half of our world wide population! How I try to avoid negativity is I don’t communicate to those ppl even at work. Because guess what I don’t have to.
Seen this at that the right time‼️ recognise it and use it. Don’t run away from it be empathetic.
Thank you so much🙏. It helps alot ❤
It is really hard to communicate in negative people because they think, they always right. Thank you for this info. It's really help to keep on in my task.❤❤❤
This guy is fricken AWESOME !!! Glad I found him.
I love Your positivity Brandon .Greatings from POLAND .
Wow man good energy getting from you
Just on time..thank you
I just got a argument with someone,and this pops out... God timing.. thank God and Brendon!!