How to Deal With Negative People
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- Опубліковано 26 вер 2024
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Brendon Burchard is the world’s leading high performance coach, a 3-time New York Times bestselling author, and one of the most-watched, quoted, and followed personal development trainers in history. SUCCESS Magazine and O, The Oprah Magazine, have both named him one of the most influential leaders in personal growth and achievement. Forbes named him the world’s leading high performance coach and Larry King named him the world’s top motivational trainer.
Brendon’s personal development trainings have more than 500 million views. Over 3,000,000 students have completed his online courses and video series. He’s created 20 blockbuster online courses in personal and professional development, including the most popular motivation, confidence, habits, leadership, and high performance courses of all time. For these results, Oprah.com named him “one of the most successful online trainers in history.” Success Magazine named Brendon “one of the Top 25 Most Influential Leaders in Personal Growth and Achievement.” Brendon has been on the cover of Success Magazine twice.
A #1 New York Times, #1 Wall Street Journal, and #1 USA Today bestselling author, Brendon’s books include High Performance Habits, The Motivation Manifesto, The Charge, The Millionaire Messenger and Life’s Golden Ticket. His most recent book, High Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way, was a multiple week Wall Street Journal bestseller, and Amazon editors named it one of the “Top 3 Best Business & Leadership Books.”
Brendon is also the executive producer and star of MOTIVATION WITH BRENDON BURCHARD on Apple Podcasts, which debuted at #1 across all categories in its first season. It was a Top 10 Self-Help podcast for over 100 weeks, and after 5 years continues to be a chart-topping health podcast.
Meet him at brendon.com/
This is a life skill i am determined to master. My environment is so negative sometimes, i feel like i have to reprogram my mind out of all the negative conditioning it's had over the years. Great video, really needed to hear this
KadClem same here to be honest :(
hate to get off subject but you are truly beautiful!
James Anthony thank you
The pleasure was mine! And I am also sorry that I didn't compliment you beautiful words too. I am in the same boat!
James Anthony i wrote that comment a few months ago and although my immediate environment hasn't changed, my outlook on life has. I gave my life to Christ, baptised on the 29th January 2017 🙌🏽❤ best decision i ever made. I've learned so much, prayed, read uplifting books ect. It really helped
This couldn't have came at a better time. But the thing with empathising is this negative person in my life is negative 24/7. There's not a day were they don't complain. I've tried empathising and understanding them but you can only help those who want to be helped.
I agree. And you clearly have those peeps out there who don't want to be helped and actually want to stay in their dark hole of negativity.
+MsInteresting I completely understand this. I feel like at that point the best thing to do is to make it apparent how much better it is on the sunnier side of life rather than the darker side, so they can WANT to make that change and make it to that side instead of thinking their comfort zone they've developed within their negativity is "good enough" or "fine"
Amina K I'm in the same boat from. I'm woke up from the negativity in the morning till I close my eyes its nonstop ..its rubbing off on me at times and I'm bothered by it
Amina K I agree! You can’t help people that doesn’t need your help. Although I try to offer some solutions but at the end it is up to them if they want to take it or not.
Sometimes it gets so worse that It's affecting my way of consuming food. Most of the time I eat once a day. Which I notice that I am starting to lose weight :( but I see the light on this dark path.
Every positive person needs to hear this
this video filled me with again energy , made my day....!!
And IAM one of them
that's why im here😊
@@akashkatoch7088 nonono
Nononononono
“ Use that challenge as your own character development “ yes!
Powerful the dark side is. Easy it is to fall into its grip. Difficult it is and effort it takes to get up from the shadows and stand in the light. Worth it it is to find balance in love and understanding. Wise Brendon is. Listen to him we must.
It's true that your family, co-workers, etc. may be negative. And yes, empathy and compassion go a long way. However, if certain people are chronically negative you have to ask yourself if you want to do be around them all of the time. How does this serve you? What are you getting out of it? Are you addicted to drama?
Let's look at this further using co-workers as an example. These are people who are most likely not showing up (unless you're good friends with them) to your holiday dinners, weddings, BBQs, etc. Don't get sucked into their drama. Send them lots of love and wish them well. You can try to help them shift their energy as was suggested, but keep in mind that everyone has FREE WILL. They may not be open to change.
If you're married to someone who's negative all of the time, you may want to ask yourself what you're getting out of the relationship. You may want to also ask how you may be contributing to the negativity. Maybe you expect too much. Perhaps you don't say "I love you" enough. Maybe your partner feels you take him/her for granted. You need to communicate and get to the bottom of the issue. Relationships aren't one sided.
If you are rude or have a bad day, be aware of your reaction and 'check' yourself to find out 'why'. It's easy to blame others, i.e., someone cut you off in traffic. However, when you go deep and get to the 'root' of why you reacted, you may discover that you're unhappy with your life. Maybe you're ready to move on from a relationship and don't know how to do it. Perhaps you're ready to move away and your family is trying to talk you out of it. Get to the bottom of what's bugging you.
A little emotional maturity can go a long way. But you have to be ready to take responsibility for your life and recognize that you do have control over how you react to situations, the words you speak, the thoughts you think, etc.
P.S. Keep in mind that some people may not be open to playing a game of trying to attend to their energy. Listen to your gut instinct on this one. Don't force people to do something they don't want to do.
I agree
agree.....get away RUN from these negative folks....they are trouble .. life is too short to be around losers.....
👌
True! There’s a distinction between encouraging hopeful outlooks/outcomes and martyrdom. We may add value to others’ happiness; however, we are not responsible for it.
That's how someone in my family is. I've tried everything to deal with her incessant negativity, but she keeps on talking about how bad everything is around her. In reality, she's fine, healthy, has no debt, has several properties, a pension, and successful children. But she doesn't think so.. and, instead, she's always complaining about how miserable the country she lives in is, how there's no money for her to move to a better place..etc. I'm sometimes afraid of looking at her messages because I feel she's going to say something terrible happened. She leaves me EXTREMELY EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTED, and DEPRESSED after I talk to her. I'm at the point where I want to cut her off my life for my own sake. The problem is that she's a very close family member...
I listen to this every week just as a reminder so I can be a better coworker! Too much negativity at work and it has a tendency to suck me in if I'm not mindful of my purpose! Thanks for a great way to start the day!!
Jody Gatlin i might need it now
Hi Brendon, I'm Isaac and I'm 16 yrs old from California. I found you on UA-cam and fell in love with your messages😁. I recently bought the motivation manifesto and the charge and they have opened my eyes to new understandings. Keep doing what your doing😁👍hope all is well
I was around negativity at work. My manager was the most emotionally unstable person. She would yell and scream and talk badly about others. In an otherwise professional environment, she certainly didn't fit the company culture. Nonetheless, I was miserable every day. I decided to leave after 7 months. I never left a company earlier than 4 years. My longest tenure was 9 years. I never had issues working with others until them. It's not always about sympathizing. Some people are just negative. Good video though.
The way that Brendon describes some examples is with the people who "snap", but are not necessarily negative always. As he said, more or less all of us have negative moments in our lives, right? Sometimes we are that negative person for an hour, two, maybe a day.
The difference is that when people are momentarily negative, you hang on with them (especially if they're important to you, close to you or in general bears some significant impact to your life), try to use sympathy/empathy until they get over it and move on.
But there are some people who are negative SO OFTEN (to the point where they are negative (according to your standards) every single day and that just drains the energy and brings you down), and for those people this training may not be needed. These kinds of people should probably simply be removed from your life or at least limit the exposure to them and their vibes.
Be Kind; Everyone You Meet is Fighting a Hard Battle - Plato
A rule to live with. Makes you so much more compassionate.
Wow! In a culture where we have learned to "write off" or "get rid of" people we disagree with, this message is so refreshing! Thank you for being an instrument of love and peace.
Use their energy, so good. Stay present and use it. You don't know what they are going through. Always observe and understand the other person's point of view. I think the really negative people that we run into are people that are just lost and don't know there way. Always take a step back and spread positive energy. Most of the time things are really not as bad as they seem. Perhaps we make things harder than they really are. I love when he says to use it to develop something as your strengths, and allows you to serve people =) so great
Important to tell the difference between negative people and abusive people. Compassion and curiosity are useful with negative folks but abusive people are best avoided or their power over others limited, called-out and challenged.
🦋Amen, be a ray of sunshine in the negativity - given it brings me joy to know my joy irritates the negative
Plus one! I'm not trying to start fires neither. But if they WET THE BLANKET AND BLAME THE BED, that's THEIR problem, not mine nor yours. Stay strong, yet don't stay around too long. Yet if you do (and I used to too), please DON'T EVER beat yourself up about it. You will handle this!! (If that's what's happening right now in your life. Trust your GUT!)
PS--Withstanding my comment that I thought you might be cute, YOU ARE, and I see that you make your own presentations and I'm on UA-cam too much myself. (Had to click on the ID to magnify the image just to confirm what I saw because my eyes are just not the same at 50, ha ha)
My 50-yr old eyes* are proven right clicking on the YT ID here... It looks like you have some titles describing what I've been through and I'll hear what you have to say.. at best it will help me and at worst it will not hurt me. Signing off, a dude who is not into being toxically** neutral to themselves.
*I had above average eyesight as a young adult and kid.
**Ironically the word toxic is getting ruined by some people who are projecting their own toxicity. I'm not one of those. However, if I supposedly am to a NARC, good! (That's when NO CONTACT without announcement happens from me). I used to stick around for a little too long here and there with people, but I escaped that permanent fate myself
Brendon, this came at a perfect time :) I didn't want to discard my friend, and just asked her to leave me out of the negative talk. Thinking about asking her was he hardest part! She was understanding and accepting of my request. Thanks! Gave me goosebumps. :)
I live with negative people who are always ready to provoke me with really hurtful words but I don't respond a single word to them and this makes me empowering
I always try to remember that I dont know what has happened in their day or their life and perhaps they have reason to feel that way but that doesnt mean that I allow their attitude to affect my day. But sometimes understanding is the first step to changing something.
thank you so much God bless you..you are the best teacher I'm starting to live my life and enjoy it ... from Iraq
We have to ask “ what do you mean by negative ?”
I remember what a great manager I once worked with said at a company meeting - he said “always listen to negative as well as positive comments at a meeting !”
History is full of examples where disasters occurred - later it was found that people had been forewarned but didn't listen !
The insights were offered by negative people and not listened to !
You are so right - use them !
This is something I have to master....I was going through a tough time lately...This method of dealing with negative people is a timely solution for me ..Thank you Brendon
I have an enormous amount of empathy compassion and I am extremely kind person have put up with negative people who do not want to change and it did nothing but drain me as a result I have learned simply not to deal with negative people who are unwilling to put in work to change and I'm finding very few are willing to do so I don't care anymore it's about self-preservation that may sound selfish but to bad I'll help those who want to help themselves bottom line.
I'm surrounded by negative people at work. I put on my headphones and try ignore them.
Me too
I do the same..put on som relaxing music nd stay busy in my work
Absolutely.. I am home every day and get bombarded with it. I keep my headphones in. But it has stopped me from doing anything really .. it is absolutely torn me apart and I have heard I’m going to be sick so much that it has happened lol I’m glad I found this
I won’t speak about it I will just practice centeredness .. and look at this as a learning experience and challenge .. everything we encounter is for our own good
Do that to the wrong person and they might hurt you out of fear of abandonment or insecurity, it sucks but its true
Something different from things I learned from self-development book. It’s refreshing and practical. For a while, I was so discouraged, as my better half constantly bombard me with how things are going to go wrong and how life sucks. At least now I have an idea other than the standard “get rid of negative people” answer.
Thanks for so clearly articulating something I've been working on lately. Love it, very helpful!
Thank you for this video. I love it! And you're right, you can't escape negativity especially if it's eminating from your family. 💜
Finally someone being REAL- thank you for your perspective- I have so felt that it is not realistic to be able to just do away with all negativity in life, so onboard with not feeling the need to own someone else's negativity...that makes all the difference, seeing them as a teacher of how you don't want to be, and maybe just maybe if you stay positive you will rub off on them. 😉
After two years watching your videos, for some reason this one put you in another level Brendon. Thanks!
"Shift it... pointing out humor or just leveling up." Every time you share something in the charge life for your viewers I just nod my head in agreement "like hey, that's what I do." Thank you Brendon.
Thanks for your valuable, actionable advice! Super food for thought and action.
Absolutely love this and needed it today because it is such am important lesson and this is how a leader would behave!!! To raise the energy of a group from negative to positive! Thank you Brendon. Xxx
New wisdom
New way to act
New perspective.
Thank you Brandon
#SecretsSelfMadeBillionsires
Perfect timing just had a talk with someone tonight. just like many other people came at the perfect time! Praise God!
This is such an important message. People think that getting rid of "negative people" and belittling them is virtuous but it is in fact the complete opposite.
I would empathize, but I also have bad days and I don't take it out on people, so I don't see why they have to.
Very very good point.
A very interesting phenomenon is that so many negative people try extremely hard to get rid of other negative people.
People rather try hard to be snobbish than try to be really really positive.
Thank to Brendon's wise advise. Hope we can all be better people. :)
Chun-Hao Peng it's rather easy to pretend to achieve something big than really doing the grit to achieve greatness and to stay there
Thank you so much, you've helped me with getting out of a horrible disagreement with someone. Have a blessed day.
My daughter has paranoid scizophrenia for 20 years .I could handle it before as I let her vent but then she was fun before . Now it’s constant negative and she can’t control it . So I need to hang out with more friends . When I had menopause I prayed I wanted my brain back , funny saying but before I could take people negative talk and let it pass through my brain . It’s hard for me to explain but I bought a book on menopause and really helped me also I took meds which helped . I felt back to myself after 3 years and no meds . So happy about that.I need to focus on self care and self esteem . It really helps your advice thank you .
I am positive....my energy is good and the joy of the Lord ìs my strength... God is good all the time.... Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice... I agree...... yeheey!!!
I felt the same as your are teaching, that those who run from negative people are of a weak sense, we can certainly see the challenge and face it, be empathetic, learn about them, teach them the positive side of all things, wish them the best and let them know
This is sage advice Brendon. I've been dealing with some energy issues at home, but this idea of 'challenging ourselves' is a great shift of perspective. Thanks for all the work you do. Rock on.
You are so positive, Thank you Brandon!!! Great ideas
Love it !! This is so true
Yes! Very true
I have been able to do this with peoples who come in and out of your life for a short period of time, but it's very difficult to do with someone who is in your life on a daily basis for extended periods of time .... I totally understand the idea that this is an opportunity for personal growth, but it helps to have positive peoples around you to lift you up again ....
England has become a toilet by the lefty liberals and needs cleaning up but under these lib loving pleasing self righteous feel good PC toffee nosed twats worrying about their own back pockets, your vote is all you have to change the incompetent self righteous dodgy system. Theres a reason you have best friends and not takers and chancers. you hang out with a 'going concern' not losers
Sir ,Your videos saving my life literally.
Brendon - I just saw 2 of your videos and I must say that I'm impressed with your positive energy. Your video can spark the lights in people. I wish all negative people can just start their day by just listening to you and take the benefit of the tips you have provided. Great Job in giving back to the society and taking this step in sending such a simple message so beautifully.
You’ll be getting rid of probably more than half of our world wide population! How I try to avoid negativity is I don’t communicate to those ppl even at work. Because guess what I don’t have to.
i completo agrree, we can not runaway from every negative people, this is naive and not powerful at all. Since now i am gonna practice shifting the energy with compassion, gratitude, ponting out the positive, cheering up, and also understanding that each person is responsable of its own experience. So i can stay at my sweet spot even if the other wants to be in a dark side, i can throw lifesavers but i can not carry them otherwise i will drawn. Its a total character building challenge if you see it this way, and definitely its something i want to master!!! because some of my loved ones are so negative sometimes.
You sir are a Godsend. Thank you for the vid!
Thank you so much. It saved my day! I really love advice no. 2 and I am going to keep practicing taking charge of my emotion to the peaceful state no matter what happens.
Great video! Every time I get surrounded by negative people I watch this💪😩 to help me deal with them rather than just getting negativity
You are always the best Brendan ! thanks a lot.
I'm going to do that for all the negative people around me ! 💪❤
I loved your ideas Brendon
This is actually the real solution. Thanks for sharing.
Staying away from negative people is the most believable thing one can ever do with.
I agree with much of the information you share. However, in my experience with my Personal Development I realize that Trying to communicate with negative is difficult. And asking for them to, "Help you shift the Energy around" can definitely cause conflict. It really doesn't matter how you say it, or express it. Some negative people will start arguing if you say anything near," let's change the energy for a second, help me; Play a game with me". I feel sometimes it is just best to smile and be silent. Understand that they are and will be negative until they decide to seek a change in themselves. If you understand that, remain silent, and just think of your best memories.
exactly! this guy is a good man.. if he really follows this, then he is a fighter.
I am glad I came across your video. I’m dealing with a friend who is constant in a negative mindset - I love this video and your approach. It’s very helpful
It's the chronic negative people that I can't stand. They purposely are drama queens and Love to start conflict,like you've said, unfortunately,they too have a story !!! However, sometimes I just don't have the energy for needless drama and I just walk away. I do need to shift my energy and not get affected
Great stuff Brendan. Your videos are so helpful in improving my life.
Love the introducing the postive things your greatful for .
It is really hard to communicate in negative people because they think, they always right. Thank you for this info. It's really help to keep on in my task.❤❤❤
Sometimes I have a straight up conversation, help a person to understand where I am coming from, or need from the friendship. Then the person seems to understand but goes on doing the wrong thing, causing hurt and frustration. Maybe this person will not be a good friend, they are not there when I need them, but expect I will be there for them. I understand what you say Brendon, when nice people frustrate us, its best not to get angry, hear the person out and forgive, let things go.
I completely agree with this! Negative people bring other people down and we need to understand if it's worth keeping a ngative person in our life! I mean.. We need to respect ourselves and in order to make that happen we shouldn't allow anyone to bring us down. It comes a point where we need to say "no more" and cut these people out of our lives!
my husband always blame me. today his car had something wrong on it. he blame me because he can't buy a car. which is not my fault to correct his own mistake.
Can understand ur situation..its really difficult when that negativity comes frm nearones
Divorce.
I hope things are better for you. I realize you posted this two years ago. You might be greatly helped by listening to UA-cam videos on How to Deal with Narcissists. ANY how to's on Narcs--even the young people without degrees are great.
Live Him!
Narcissism
I heard alot of advices about this topic and i really hated all of the answers who claimed that i should pretend it's not there and i really couldn't achieve that... but ur answer is way different than the others it's the best answer I've ever heard thank you so much ❤
I always thought - if their negative it's Bc they don't like themselves - and find it hard to love themselves - so I carry on - I don't allow them to take my energy nor will I waste my energy hearing them blab on
Really needed this just right now!
Goodness! GOOD LOVING BLESSINGS !
💯💯
Hi Brandon, great to meet you. Another one on the list is to not get surprised if you know they will respond in that way
this short video of yours helped me out a lot, i will watch it a few more times to soak up the message very well. wish i had bumped in to your videos some time ago.
Wow... This video really got me, I'll give it a shot.
I've gone through pretty dark periods in my life many years ago (I made through though!), and it actually helped me to develop resilience, gratitude and an overall better attitude towards my life and those around me.
I'm really satisfied with how far I have come and how far I could still get but it really scares me to be pulled back down by other's negativity, especially when my efforts to lift them up continue to fell over and over.
Sometimes I think I have made some significant progress just to find out they are back in their toxic downward spiral.
It's become somewhat draining to the point I rather just not get them to vent which made them feel unwelcome and quite honestly they are, not because I don't care about them but because I do and it frustrates me to realise that all of the time I've invested in lifting them up has been waisted and it feels like their negativity has started to lick onto me.
Anyway, I'll definitely try that approach of seeing them as a challenge and use them to further develop my skills, and detach myself from their actual struggle and hope they will find a way out of their darkness. At the end, just like Morpheus said in "The Matrix" (Original/1) "... I can only show you the door, you are the one who has to go through it...".
Thank you for the video, it has been really helpful.
I really needed this, all my family are negative people, especially my brother sigh
So rule of thumb is just be positive introduce positive conversation/activity and emphathy them and take over as a positive leader.
this guy really talks sense and his advice is vizable to apply .. Thank you Brendon
Seen this at that the right time‼️ recognise it and use it. Don’t run away from it be empathetic.
It is not happening TO us, it is happening FOR us for character development.
Be the Light ! People are wounded and hurting and struggling for coping skills. Be the Light so they can be encouraged to be overcomers. Then more people can help each other.
Forgiveness and compassion no matter what.
So glad to have discovered your channel. Your approach to things remind me of myself and it resonates with me. It gives me validation that what I've been doing isn't wrong. And the insights and examples are phenomenal! Thank you.
what you said is reallyyy so powerful and soo true👌
Love these suggestions
Sometimes it's easier to remove yourself or shut up with some of the negative people! And it's extra challenging to do it when the negative person lives with you!
That is so true but there are ways to deal with negative people when they are close to you. Just separate yourself from them when they are getting too much, and maybe try talking to them.
I know a person like that. I feel that they say the things they say to see what I am going to say. But I just remain positive even though they get on my last nerves. It is hard working with a person with a position when you feel they are just saying things just to get a reaction out of you., and just trying to get a reaction out of you so they can use the words against you. I pray and meditate daily. I ask God to keep me grounded.
this is universe, there is always more than we know so just listen and learn everything from the Universe & Thank you Sir Brendon.
Thank you, I’m going to implement these tips!
My own family members are too much negative with whom I have to stay. Too tough to handle sometimes. Nowadays every single negative words or situations make me feeling worst and I'm fighting with my depressions all alone. My own family is not willing to understand me and my situation. I'm so lonely ☺
Thanks Sir Brendon for all your valuable and precious advises.
Right what & when I needed to hear! Thank you so much for putting this video up.
I get and I did this. A woman who is a known pessimist tried to get me. It was like she was trying to scare me. I was like, "If that's the way the winds blows then so be it. God is in control." She literally gaped in shock. She does this knowingly! Now she leaves me alone. Some people do it destroy your inner peace.
your advices are the best. they are extreamly helpful. hope you will do more of these kind of videos. and thanks
Definitely a powerful video! Thank you💕 this helped me and has changed my perspective on a lot of things. I will be applying your tips to my life.
I love this advice so much. Thank you for this
You are indeed a beautiful person inside out
Made my misses listen to this 👏🏾
Your all videos are very helpful especially the way to present your ideas and the way you teach us something that give us a way to live quality life.
My request is to make a video of ''how to be optimistic''
You know not everybody is a psychologist and just you know trying to help every single negative person out there sharing your own kind of positive energy in most cases from my experience gonna face failure. Every single time I’m trying to help those people I end up being in a bad place myself .. And when I’m having a bad day those people aren’t doing that for me. It’s tricky and dangerous.
Brendon you r amazing..i cud see ur eyes...u speak direct from your heart..GBU
Found this video really helpful.thank you so much
Your my home boy! Look out for toxic positivity at well, it can be crippling and dangerous.
waw thank you so much you help me I smile till the end witching this vedio n I'm free again I will come back n testify
The difference when you say" YOU'VE been in a bad mood, YOU've been Negative".... THe difference is whether you OWN your issues and admit in the complaining session that you're here to vent and complain. Many chronic complainers will never admit it - instead when you turn it around on a positive spin or provide an answer or solution they give you attitude because you don't feed and fill their pitty.....Clever negative complainers can sense when you turn it into a positive and they resent that in itself. Amazes me how many people want you to join their low level energy pitty party.
Thanks for sharing. Just one tip, also this video was 5 years ago so you might have learnt this along the way but please also share the ‘how to’ when giving out advice. You tell us to use the negative energy but not how. I just notice people do a lot of this and it leaves other people in a space where we know what to do but not how.
You hear people say forgive others for your own peace but rarely anyone explains the step by step process of how to even begin to forgive someone.
When I give advice I also share the how to and how I’ve done it from my own personal experience and I get complimented often on my advice giving skills.
Use it. Empathize. Shift it. Enroll them.