How to Shut Down Toxic Talk & Gossip at Work |
Вставка
- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
- Excited about this week's fiery topic. Sharing two different ways you can respond to stop this type of talk in its tracks. Do these two things consistently and you'll unlock a bonus level where people stop bringing conversations like this your way because of how unsatisfying it is that you don't engage. #win
Get this full written article with more tips on my blog here: bit.ly/GE_Toxi...
This video was created by Galen Emanuele for the #culturedrop. 5 minute leadership and team culture content delivered to your inbox every Tuesday morning. Check out the rest of our content and subscribe (it's free): bit.ly/culture...
Through conference keynotes and (in-person or virtual) team workshops, Galen transforms how teams and leaders approach and establish culture, and the way people communicate and treat each other at work. He has an impressive portfolio of clients including Microsoft, Safeway/Albertsons, and NASA.
Galen’s captivating content teaches how to establish an intentional team culture of high-level engagement and performance, skyrocket leadership ability, skillfully give & receive feedback, and apply the improv concept of “Yes, And” to improve communication and EQ.
Connect with him on
Twitter: bit.ly/GalenEma...
Instagram: bit.ly/GalenEma...
LinkedIn: bit.ly/GalenEma...
Facebook: bit.ly/GalenEma...
The way I handle gossip? I don’t participate. I can’t control what others, think, feel, say, or do. I allow my behavior and actions speak for me. Fact: poor performing employee employees often target and gossip about high performing employees.
It's always routed in jealousy. All the time
Thanks for this. It’s severe where I work. I feel shame because I feel like I’m an adult and should not have to deal with it. I want to just tell the person to leave me alone but I’m too heated and know I’ll react badly so I looked for better advice instead.
@@Freedom00-u5rwise of you to do. I work at a hospital and I was disrespected very badly by a collegue in front of people. I could’ve gone straight at the person and given them a piece of my mind. But I decided to just report them. Thankfully, they got spoken to and disciplined. They haven’t disrespected me since. And I’m not afraid to report them again if they do so. No doubt I now have a reputation for doing what needs to be done when disrespected, but it means I won’t be messed with. 🤷🏻♂️
I’ve had others cross the line with me too and I confronted them all and told them I didn’t like what they did. Sure enough they went behind my back and ran their mouths (I was told), but I didn’t retaliate. I just ignored them and kept it moving. Now one of them is trying to talk to me again after the shady things they pulled, and I just ignore them and it pisses them off lol.
I told all my work colleagues that I will only talk 2 them in a professional manner, blocked them all on social media
How did that go? You should never add them in the first place. Big mistake
@@jcbanburytrue big mistake, but It’s honestly good, I basically told everyone I’m here make money not friends
😂😂
My father used to say that gossipers have a low I q. And he told me to stay away from people who like to sit around and gossip about other people and not to even talk to them. They are very low in intelligence they have nothing else to talk about. And they're bored with their life. And mostly because they are getting older. And they just like to sit around and do nothing else
True true true and TRUE!
I'm not sure that's actually true. I suspect they more likely have low self-esteem and have been made to feel unimportant. Sharing bad news about others can bring a sense of significance.
@@kelleylmilleryea it’s more of how you were raised
Good advice, but there is also a third reason why shutting down toxic talk would be good for you: associating with people telling gossip every day and immersing yourself in toxicity and gossip repeated day over day over day will also become so ingrained into your personality that will hinder you from positively changing yourself the day you need it.
Amen to that, 100% agree :)
I am already tired of talking about Divorce in the Black & it's just now trending 😂 do you know how miserable people have to be to drag the same shit every day for YEARS ✌🏽 I'm not interested nor will I keep entertaining their obvious failures 🤷♀️ couldn't be me
I often say...
"That's not my baggage; not my train."
Love it:)
Covert workplace bullies just love spreading gossip it helps elevate their status, they love that schadenfreude feeling , it can sometimes turn into social bullying, you will slowly see their work, as your friends start to gost you .
Some people are addicted to it, stirring up drama, it's such a shame. Totally cancerous to any team or workplace.
Worst thing is all the horrible people got permanent jobs..
Great advices! Wished I seen this video before all the toxic gossip occurred
Oh damn , I need this. Someone at the gym comes over to me and talk crap about others to me. He keeps tabs on me and on others too
My heart rate shot up the moment you shut down the negativity. Exact words I need. So awesome I'm skipping the gym today!!
I loved how you mentioned " i don't have space for this / that ".. definately going to utilize that. I have always been the type "if you will not go to the source, then please let me out of it " in other words, i'm willing to decipher a peaceful outcome, but if they just want a cheerleader for their side of the story, i'm just not the one. Please spare me.
Amen to that 👏👏👏
I NEEDED THIS!!! Thank you!!!❤❤❤❤
I don't say anything like that. I'm so blunt and forward. Why pussy foot around. I don't care if it gets anybody upset . And if it upsets the gossiper big deal, Because you're not losing a friend. By being straightforward and to the point and Blunt. It's helping you to be strong inside.
Here I succesfully redirected gossip away from me, but later became the gossip and have people constantly warn me about what is being sad... Nothing serious, but enough to be toxic. How does one shut that down?
This is so awesomely helpful. Thank you
Love to hear that!
I have a group of mean girls in my trading unit. One of the mean girls made a unit announcement when instructors left the room, “snitches get stitches” and she has said it more than once.
When I have seen people try to tell the mean girls to be quiet bc they talk to loud they get verbally abusive and once, one of the mean girls had to tell another mean girl to stop being so rude.
What should I do?
Mind you, these are county social workers in training who are intimidating fellow professionals. I can’t imagine how they might act with families who have experienced trauma and abuse.
That's really unfortunate, I'm sorry that you're experiencing this. Some people just thrive in drama and being mean, it's so bizarre. Ideally leadership and/or HR would be aware of this and get these people gone, but that's probably unlikely. If it's not possible to transfer somewhere else, sometimes it's best to just stay out of the line of fire of people like that and don't engage at any level with their drama/garbage. If there are good HR peeps there they are a great resource, but that's not always the case. Hopefully you don't have to work with this mean crew for very long. Wish people like this would thrive on being kind instead.
How do u avoid someone at an apartment if they keep coming to u
I have learned these people hate themselves and unload their hate on coworkers or co-worker
Why have obligatory CAPTIONS when it can be chosen from the menu?
Good question, two reasons:)
1) we add captions to all of our videos because we also share them on other platforms and it helps with accessibility all around, and 2) I talk really fast generally so the auto generated captions always massively get wrong what I'm saying lol.
@@GalenEmanueleShiftYes its annoying and distracting
Sometimes people just need to vent...
That's true. And it's a habit that can easily turn into complaining and badmouthing if we're not intentional and careful about how we share or receive it. My rule of thumb is: Would I be proud of what I said if the other person overheard me talking about them?
@@GalenEmanueleShiftYes well said! thx
Also I use to vent & they went back & switched my words to the person I was venting about. Now I've stopped completely! I only vent to my close trusted person outside of the workplace & I stopped mentioning names.
Write it in your journal
Unload it in prayer. Pray for those involved.
The creator is bringing his disdain for being bothered by chat into a confrontation with a person who bonds through chatting. This will not end well.
Why all these cheap excuses? They sounds so fake. I prefer saying I don't want to support any gossip. Period.
Smile, do your job, get your money. Always have multiple streams of income
Until your bubble bursts, you need to talk then.
Exactly!!!!
Agree it’s easy go to work pretend you are deaf. I’m an introvert I like avoiding people. They can gossip all they want I don’t participate. I just get my paycheck and go😂
So many work places are so negative and toxic. It's depressing.
UK has a bad lad culture problem. Most 30 year olds act like teens
It's sad to see adults acting like grown up children@@monopolybillionaire5027
It isn't 'work places', it is people. People make up work places. It is an individual issue
I think if more people pursued their passions for a career path..there would be a lot more positive working environments.
It's true 💯
My problem is I am the only one who isnt gossiping/backbiting. So as much as I love my job I cant stand the toxic environment. They all enjoy it and laugh at each other. Seems like technically no one likes anyone and yet they all bond tightly over the "humorous" backbiting. The one thing they all agree on is that I am the best target since I will just not engage/protect myself. Makes me want to quit the job I love but then I worry that im just going to jump into another toxic environment 😢
You cannot escape it.
I deal with the backhanded digs constantly at the workplace - disguised as humour but half the time it's pure toxic BS passed as humour. Meant to tear a person down but disguised with the veil of humour - hate it.
@@divergemediaIf you google back-handed compliment or sarcasm psychology. There’s a ton of information out there, why it happens and how to deal with it. It feels great to see toxic people spin their wheels and then finally distance themselves from me. Good luck!
Malicious gossip in the work place is also unlawful...its harassment
Only if it is not true. The truth isn't slander. Gossip is a plague, but let's not be the thought and speech police.
@@kevinadams9468even if it true the gossiper still had wicked motives.if what you are doing is wrong you should be called to correction not object of gossip
It's usually the bullies who are jealous and want to push another out.i think it's funny 😂I ignore and separate
I tried this and the person walked away stunned. I will keep this up. Giving into gossip isn’t a good look.
I need to practice it
@@reelinreggie6757 the coworker barely talks to me anymore. I’m okay with that because it’s less bs I gotta deal with.
LMFAOOO! 🤣🤣🤣
@@SameOlHim a year plus later, the narcissist is still at work but I got promoted over him. He did end up leaving me alone and moving onto a new person to terrorize. That’s the part that doesn’t sit well with me.
@@SoporVK I just reported a gossiping bully at my job… idk how it’ll play it, but we’ll see.
I had to slowly separate/ghost from a clique during COVID, because I noticed they talked shit about each other when one person was gone. But when everyone was together, they did all the fake smiles/fake love and pretended it was all good.
Behind the scenes, I knew how certain people really felt, so I learned to mind my business and just wish the best for everyone. The problem with that is that they see you as a threat, because you don't co-sign their BS, or you have your own life outside of the clique. Once you stop showing up to things, they take it as a personal insult and get pissed!
It's best to keep a respectful distance when you peep the BS. Because even though they'll now see you as the enemy, you have your peace and freedom from the shenanigans they play with each other.
It's true, and unfortunate that you had to experience that. Wish people just didn't do any of that in general, it's so toxic and unhealthy.
Thank you for this comment because it has really helped me today. This is happening to me right now. The problem is one of them is vicious and will take you down if you don't go along with her games. She told me I could confide in her and she would have my back, but then when I started to get recognition from the Bosses recently, she swiftly threw me under the bus and turned the whole team against me. She baits you by talking crap about people, waits for you to agree and then goes and tells them you said it. Slowly you start seeing people turn against you. It's horrific and I feel like I can't even work there anymore. At the same time it's a relief because I have made a stand now and I no longer have to go along with her toxic fake smile garbage. All the other co-workers are scared of her, because she runs to the boss six times a day and feeds him information on them. She even makes stuff up and will say innocent situations like a co-worker knocking some product off the shelf by accident was deliberate and that she threw them on the floor in a huff. The boss did her bidding and pulled that co-worker into his office and reprimanded her. So all the team kiss her butt, because they don't want to be her next victim. Her daughter also works there and pulls the same crap with the Women in her Office. Most of them have either moved to new positions away from her or quit. I went to my boss and kinda explained what is happening and told him that he is the last stand between me and her retaliation. She will try to use him to ruin my position. She has already done that to other Women that she hates and one Woman even got fired. I feel like she has already got to the boss though and said that I was paranoid and think people are talking about me. My boss was understanding, but now we wait and see how things play out. In the meantime I am an anxious wreck and dread going to work. My reputation is in tatters because of her games and all the while it is actually HER talking all the crap about people. but saying it is me. She even snitches on people and then denies it when they confront her and insinuates it was me. It's so hard to defend yourself against convert stuff like this. The more you try to defend yourself by going into the office with the boss, the more they believe you are the snitch. I have to work right next to her daily and still be cordial, but she has already noticed the shift in my interactions with her and it won't be long before she goes full attack. Now she is playing the victim and kissing up to all the people she has tore to shreds behind their back. I feel so sad.
My boss is such a gossip. Actually our whole leadership team is
That sucks
My ex-boss was a VICIOUS gossip. It resulted in an extremely toxic work environment!!! There was a great guy who was moving up the ladder way over her head because he DESERVED to. She was jealous and told me that she thought he was still single because he must have a small d*ck. Grow the F up!!! She used to spend a ridiculous amount of time whispering with one of my coworkers. They act like high school mean girls although they are in their 50s!!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂
I know how that feels. Time to look up something new w/out them knowing: interviews... and just say: oh, I have a doctor's appointment, Oh, i need to have this other appointment (teeth cleaning, though you don't have to justify yourself at all). Until you find something you like. Also, ask about the culture at this other place you want to have an interview and watch the videos on youtube about the 5 red flags of companies you have to avoid: avoid the ones that say "we work hard, play hard" = gossip, "we are looking for a "superstar"/self-starter/wonder-woman/-man" = no training... , etc etc. :)
Good luck.
I say to anyone who wants to come to me with gossip. Don't talk to me, go talk to the person that you are gossiping about.
I'll get right in their face.
I have been a victim of gossip, and it doesn't feel good trouble making people you should never be around .
Absolutely fantastic content. Thank you for sharing. I agree completely, gossip is 100% CRUEL. It is not harmless like some of these gossipers think.
Thanks for watching!
Harmful...if it cost you your peace, it's not worth it...😢
I just tell the women “you’ve got too many wrinkles on your face to be acting like a high schooler” that shuts them up since a woman’s absolute worst concern is looking old over being a terrible person.
This is gold, and will definitely shut down any woman who is a gossip/busybody!
Have fun with HR saying that one
@@veronicalagor4771my HR is a man and he agrees wholeheartedly.
Conversely, I’m a woman that works in a male dominated (except for me and the department’s boss) workplace. I am single, straight, attractive and hardworking/ high achieving and don’t participate in gossip. The men are the gossips in this case, so what’s your advice for them😂?
And The Thing is, a lot of them are nosy. They stick their head out the window and they say I wonder where that person is going. I wonder why that person did this. I wonder why they did that.
And they always say I wonder why she or he was over at so And so.
So the gossip starts, and they say well. I know why she's over at So and so.
So there are a bunch of backstabbing trouble making people where I live I just have to appreciate those who're not like that and be friends with them.
The bible says that gossip is like murder.
The bible says do not be going from house to house gadding about. And yet these people are the ones that think they're so high and mighty.
I’m ll
Did I just find the last decent human being on earth? If everyone was as good of a human being as this man I would have zero stress
😢and that human usually have less subscribers too... While Stoopid and rude UA-camr are usually famous
I am working in a company with good jobs, but there is a heavy toxic environment in some departments, sadly mine is one of them. I got two "clowns", who when they open their mouths, they start to gossip brutally. I got 2 years and started to feel anxiety and got enough. Today one of them entered my room and asked why I am quitting ?
My answer was: "I am tired of listening bullshit" , with my legs on the chair.
Every normal human being got his limit, mine was exceeded.
What was their reply???
@@jcbanbury Actually she didn't say anything. She made some mentally twisted face and slowly closed the door.
Actually in my case was the worst scenario. Combine gossip with mentally unstable behaviour = stress fountain.
The best advice - if you visit a working place and notice even a small trace of a toxic behavior - Run like Forest Gump and never go back!
Stay quiet and don’t affiliate with anyone at work because even if they try to pin you down it’s almost impossible because you don’t get involved with gossip and you mind your own business
I think especially if I am in a meeting, I don’t think it’s helpful for anyone for me to remain silent while they’re gossiping about someone, and I think it’s helpful to remind them that we don’t need to talk about these things. The gossip will end if the silent people point out that no one should gossip!
It's true, I agree. It shouldn't be normalized and gently reminding people that it's not kind, necessary, or a good use of time is something hopefully more people will do when it happens.
Just say: let's focus on the process of how to do things right, and not on the person who possible can make mistakes. Meetings are unfortunately about people, and not about improving the work process. :))
Some people just want you to lose in life and wanna dominate
Great pointers. Thank you for clarifying a prickly situation for me.
I am an extrovert, and at work, I am very easily drawn into "sharing my thoughts" about many different subjects ( and people).
Happy to let others know what my viewpoint is, I have found myself in situations where this viewpoint was not objectively relayed and actually distorted.
After a few times, I realized that my personal viewpoints were being interpreted or presented as malicious gossip. I felt truly awkward of being so open and started noticing that my innocent intention was augmented by a co-worker.
Thank you for making so clear what to do, in circumstances like these. I am a professional and do not wish to see my standards degraded, no matter how well-intended my comments were.
Feel same way
What may seem harmless opinions to you may negatively impact someone else's values in the workplace. A simple example is at my job, we have a girl who is an introvert and very quiet. A few extroverts feel it's ok to point that out by saying loudly "Oh she's such an introvert. A whole day and she barely says anything". I'm sure they don't think it's toxic. Now i haven't met this girl and yet I already have a negative impression of her, even if she's a really lovely girl, my impression has already been formed by other gossips. I'm glad you have realised that about yourself and hope you can be a positive force in your workplace.
No "gossip" is good especially when the people at work are toxic af. I will say whatever I want about anyone at anytime & to their faces too & I will not be censored by toxic people. Who clearly are getting mad bc I shut down their politics game. I love to mess with that toxic game of work politics & making good workers do all the work. I love breaking up the status quo & breaking all the silent toxic af rules.
They make the good workers do all the work is what I meant & they try & rig it all so they do way less & keep climbing the Corp ladder bullying the good people. It's v total be & should be illegal.
@@watchinvidzwatchinvidz7691 Correct. It's just that gossip is hard to demonstrate...... therefore, it is hard to demonstrate to a legal team (HR, etc), that they who gossip work less, and that they put it all to the good worker. :) Sad truth.
And the victims of the gossip girls are always the introverts 😢
Well. Like me. I am a hardcore introvert and always been a target of these gossip girl.
That really sucks, some people are just mean and it makes no sense. Companies have to have a zero tolerance policy for gossip and badmouthing, it's so damaging.
Great content! I’m allergic to toxic people who live to gossip. You forgot to add another solution; IGNORE them like they’re NOT exist.
Stay away gossip and don’t talk about anyone, 😊 make money 💴 run when your day is over. Gossip is sin, and don’t listen 👂 let others hear you cry 😢 or get upset 😠 ❤stay humble. If coworkers are talking badly about you just don’t respond walk away. Enemies are trying to take job, stealing from you, take advantage of, jealousy ❤Keep mouth shut 🤐 lesson learned
You can't stop workplace gossip. If you try to shut it down or don't participate to perpetuate it somehow, then you will be excluded and then gossip about you to have you isolated and gotten rid of.
This is truth! FACTS
So you mean we have to join the gossiper and be like them? Gimme a break. My current workplace is managed by a wonderful boss who rarely ever talks about anyone. When he does, which is very rare, it's always positive. Guess what? Our team is the best performing team in the company and everyone treats each other respectfully. The question is why perpetuate a toxic workplace where ppl have nothing better to do than talk shit about each other? Call it out, don't participate and ultimately, find a place where the boss can create a toxic free environment.
@@yihaw149 It must be nice to live in Narnia
@@MedalionDS9 yep lovin every minute of it. Much better than the toxic hell in other places.
It’s 100% true that if you don’t participate, then you become the focus of the gossip. Workplace drama is a no-win situation.
"I don't have the bandwidth to deal with this traumadump."
Lol, exactly :)
I have a good heart and I befriend anyone people who I thought was cool with me got a rumor going on about me and I don't know why I never did anything to them they laugh and joke. Sad thing I'm only at that job for a few more months I can easily get another job but im moving out of state NC people are toxic as a black man I'm going to say I see why white people judge them.
Needed this simple video, it's amazing how much energy we can invest in trying to stamp out this kind of fire, before you realize you're only burning yourself.
Exactly! I used the technique and it worked for the most part. Just gotta stay positive and not get into the gossip crowd. It really can be a career killer.
My boss's name is Jay so it really threw me off when you used that name as an example lol. My coworkers love to talk about him behind his back. He's new to management but he's trying his best. I try not to add anything negative.
This may seem toxic in itself, but I work a govt job with a bunch of gossipy men and as soon as you confront them it shuts down 90% of the time. No passive aggressiveness, direct discussion.
That's great:)
Watching this with 12 years of managerial experience when I myself got sucked into it unknowingly!
It can be easy to get sucked into!
This happened to our manager, he got inducted by the gossip, it got really bad for me , they decided they would lock and unlock tool boxes as required , hugely discriminating , my team leader was a lesbian and her girlfriend who at the time was young carried the key around her neck , I crushed my wrist a while back and went to the heath center for xrays , to cut a long story short the bill was sent to me three times and I "had to pay it" , it was a MTI medically treated injury. I am still dealing with two Covert workplace bullies, the company policy is written on toilet paper, it's going to worksafe nz , next year, I've already seen the union and I think I am ready to give them the recognition they really deserve, 17 years of this shit is too much .
You mean you made a conscious decision to Slander somebody got it.
We created a zero tolerance policy in the employee handbook, everyone signs the handbook when they are hired. If you are caught by HR or the manager, you have one write up then you're fired. Works pretty well.
Boom, I love it. Sounds harsh but the reality is a workplace where people just don't do it which is solid gold:)
I live in a complex where there's a bunch of seniors and there's some really nice ones here and but there's some that are just out to lunch. I mean, you can tell that they have nothing better to do. And they love to be mean they love to cause trouble. There's some people in here that were sent from a mental ward a few years ago, and now they have to be around us and they got mental problems, they sit around and they smoke marijuana and it's screwing up the brain. I can see a big change in the brain chemistry.
And for anybody out there that thinks that marijuana doesn't affect your brain. Come and live here and live among the people I know in my apartment.
This feels like putting a band aide on a infected wound. Sure it covers it up, but if not properly treated, it will get worse.
If you’re in a position of leadership, is it enough to just push it aside? I feel like this wil result in people siloing and not addressing issues. I’m pretty sure you’ll stop hearing about the gossip, but the gossip won’t stop. And that will hide the issue, but it won’t hide the team slowly falling apart.
Gossip and badmouthing in workplaces is cancer, it ruins teams and culture. This video was originally intended for employees who are not in positions of leadership. If you're in a position of leadership then I think you need to create a zero tolerance policy for it. I'm a huge fan of being clear to the team that first time is a warning, second time is final warning, and third time is go find a new place to work:)
@@GalenEmanueleShiftYes great insight.
When it’s your boss 🥲
This does not work if the workplace allows the gossip monger carte blanche to violate company policies and engage in making debasing remarks about another coworker out of jealousy and insecurity. This is especially so if this person is a female who has won a Sexual Harassment Case with the company and is allowed to get away with these things and works the system to her advantage.
I got so tired of so many Christians at JB Hunt gossiping about me that I moved to an atheist country and I'm so much happier here.
I've got a coworker that is intrusive and bird dogging meanwhile inside work areas. Constantly complaining to desk ckerk.. have a click drama group in our work team.. Had enough..
But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.
Matthew 12:36
i like this!! it’s so easy and effective but not mean ❤
I’m glad you dig it Kiara!
Holy so much stuff going in inside my workplace and at my condo who has the money to pay this many people?
Simple, thoughtful and effective. I Love your strategies! Thanks for sharing, you must be AMAZING to have as a leader 👍👍
Thanks Huli, glad you dig this one. I am a work in progress as a leader; learn, fail, learn more, doing my best :)
I tried this on several jobs, stay to myself, walked off when gossip starts and then the gossips pull out the magic wand and “WALLA” all of sudden I’ll hear 2 or 3 rumors that even the people who hear it knows it’s not true, but participate in spreading the lies anyway.
That sucks, some people are just addicted to drama. It's so bizarre.
Well, it's to late we had a fight about this😂
Hi Galen from CultureDrop! Thanks for your video! I believe these tips are really valuable if the gossip is e.g. a colleague or a customer.
However, when it's your boss, someone you're financially dependent on or anyone else with a power differential like a division manager, these tips are really hard to apply because it may seem preposterous to say to a boss "shall I help you formulate a reply to this person" or disrespectful to say "I don't have time for this"
Can you make a video about how to shut down the gossiping when *the person gossiping is your boss* or in another position of authority over you?
E.g. I'm in a situation where I work in a team of 4, it's a "non-hierarchical" structure but effectively my 3 colleagues are my 3 bosses
, they're all 15-20 years my seniors and I'm in a junior role. It's a tiny social services provider, so there are no other colleagues. They are slacking off former junior staff members (e.g. saying to me "well she decorated this, but that's the only thing she was good for" / "she was this pretty, spoiled girl and thought she was better than us" or also slackibg off + telling really, really intimate details about our clients (e.g. telling me about one clients trauma and her marital problems - this is not related to our work at all, they only know these things because the clients trust them and tell these intimate things / making disparaging remarks about clients). When my bosses make mistakes and other service providers rightfully tell them off, they endlessly complain to me about it.
It's a workplace that's toxic as fuck under the surface but they're these friendly ladies to anyone on the outside, and they acted like that to me when I applied otherwise I would never have gotten in. They don't respond to any kind of constructive criticism (I tried telling them in the beginning while I value them, I'm uncomfortable with their behaviour but they went all like "are you saying we're heartless bitches" - now I'm just keeping my head down, but I feel SO uncomfortable having them tell me all these things).
I'm bound by contract to stay another year and there is no authority I could report them to (plus from the outside they paint such a rosy picture that it's unlikely anyone will believe me). What's your advice in this case?
What the heck do you do if it's the boss? Someone I know is just calling people on the team stupid, I hate it. I know she must gossip about me too.
Yeah that's a real tough situation. If someone with power is the problem then your real options are to keep your head down hope that you can eventually get promoted or put on another team and get away from them, or brush up on your résumé start applying for other companies and GTF out of there, which I know isn't something everyone can just do and leave their jobs. Some organizations actually have an HR department that is good and useful where this is a safe place to report that kind of thing and they would actually do something about it, but that's not always the case either. Sorry that you're dealing with that situation:(
LOL NO WAY JOSE
Great Response
Thank you so much for this. How do you get comfortable with the awkwardness?
Through practice. Also, for me it helps to know and be intentional that I am coming from a place of being gentle and soft, not abrupt and harsh. It's not a punishment, it's not a judgment of them, it's just being in a space of "I don't have energy for that."
Straight to the point
You are too exited, dude.
It's exciting stuff, lol :)
What if you are the person being gossiped about and you indirectly hear it all: it's all happening behind the half-wall (sort of open consent) while I am only learning the new job?
Examples:
1) "I think she and him are dating because he offered to drive/drop her home" (Reality: we were former colleagues at a different company though, plus I am gay ....which makes it ridiculously funny, and plus he heard the same sh*t too, about me and him dating, hahahha).
2) I am not talking to the people in parts (me and my colleague in Service, alternate areas and so we work/make Repair estimates like this: 1 week she deals more with local parts people in our office while I communicate more with parts people in the rest of the province, and them we switch on a weekly basis.
3) I don't talk to a sales reps for some other imagined reason........ Reason is the exact same as the one above: alternating areas w/in country.
There are 2 more scenarios they came up with and convinced themselves to be true and spread around, but they don't come to mind at this time. So, 3 month probation and 5 scenarios. Film-makers to say the least.
These who gossip and come up with scenarios are office people, we're about 6 of us there, including the manager.
All I ever do is do my job, finished my 3 moths probation successfully, I am still slower than my colleague opposite my desk, and I can't chat everyone up, plus they are supposed to be busy too. :)))) I do chat with them from daily for a little bit, here and there, especially after a weekend. Also, I ask them work reputed questions, we're (supposed to be) a team.
Conclusion: I speak when I have to, or I chat with co-workers in the yard, or in the building, during lunch brake or coffee break, and I don't do this everyday with the same people: I alternate, some other times they are busy, other times I am busy, maybe on the phone in the yard.. Everything happens naturally, I find.
Apparently, this is "not good enough", so to speak.
What advise do you have for someone who is being gossiped about?
(And no, I wouldn't be able to shut down the gossip myself and eye to eye, since it's not told to me directly, it is only talked about me And they would clearly deny it and call me crazy. No one would have a Spine, a Backbone to admit their mistakes.
(Keep in mind, I am not the only one being gossiped about, I just happen to be in the vicinity/immediate area -- all 6 of us in 2 rooms divided by a half-wall and no door -- when the gossip happens.)
So far, I am having fun for the most part, knowing none of it is true, but boy oh boy, the sh*t that can go through these people's heads is amazing. I would be really, really tired of constancy giving someone (myself, in this case) so much attention, be that positive or negative. :)) To be frank, sometimes I do feel mentally drained. Which is why I am writing all of this.
You can respond here, or send me a private message on my UA-cam account.
This is a Forklift repair company, we're talking about, where the vast majority are men.
I've been told guys gossip more then girls. I'd have to agree, given the circumstances.
Thank you
PS: I forgot to say: I am taking notes at home about all this gossip, I know who says it and when (I pay attention at the clock to know when it happened). I just keep this private. Not much I can do at this time. Anyway, my way: "kill the with kindness". I did notice one person calming down.
and a PPS: Needless to say, I do not gossip, by default. I do talk to my mom or a friend on the phone about this or that, but at work, with colleagues, I never ever gossip about anyone. I was the same in school, uni, other wotk places, etc. I generally do not gossip, because I strongly believe that the time we waste gossiping is time that we will never ever get it back, time we lose forever and ever. :))
We can’t avoid gossip because then we are excluded and seen weird. I don’t like gossip but it’s pretty hard at many workplaces
This is excellent advice!
I would never say wow, I would like to help. You can formulate some kind of conversation to help yourself. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
That way you are not getting involved. Why should it be anybody's business to try to help the gossiper. It's not your problem in the beginning. When you make a suggestion to help somebody that is a gossiper you're getting involved. Don't make their problem become Your problem.
Get out of it, alienate yourself.
I'm trying to avoid a woman but it's difficult when it's an open office of some sort, where you can see everyone. My keeping my head down and minding my business when she was a new employee must have struck a nerve with her and another new employee she befriended. Not a negative thought towards anyone was in my mind until she started acting out.
I'm unsure if avoiding her and acting as if there was never a problem in the first place (because in my mind there was. I felt so at peace with my whole life and work situation), is making me look bad or smart for not participating in drama. I don't stop to ask anyone for validation, as that could be seen as insecurity or give someone something to talk about. And words spread here like wildfire.
I waste no time gathering my things once the clock strikes 5, because that's when she starts to relax and trash talks about anything. No one else in the department, except for maybe one other, talks like this except for her.
I've been working at this place for a long time. I keep my head down for a good reason. I know the ins and outs of almost everything, and can easily identify someone that wants to cause trouble or isn't someone I'd want to associate with. This place is the perfect recipe for drama, and it just needs that one thing to make it all happen.
edit to add missing word
I spend 10 grand to move away from harrsment i never forget being flooded out of house and home call if got a problem call the police sorry i can't help those people😊 trying hard to be in a happy place😊
Thank you for sharing, I needed to know how to respond to this. God bless you 🙏🏾
Very nice, short, productive and sweet video. Thanks!
Ok we saw what a white collar guy would do.
Now let’s see a blue collar talk about how he would deal with it
I did this at my kids school when one of the mums came to me about another mum, now me and the other mum are both being gossiped about 😂
Do like to share this video please.
So nice. And we must remember we have been the perpetrators as well
Great presentation you're a star..
I wish i could speak like this.
Definition of social workers and nurses they fall you make cold for you feel like you and or just you because they have to work on things and I don’t wanna work. That’s why they always on strike.
huh?
Thank you sir, you saved me so much energy and time ❤🙏 thank you
Love to hear that! :)
Nice!
Thank you!!
Great advice, Galen. Interested in your opinion when the top executives are the gossipers and are not only cruel in their accusations of others but do it openly and relish in criticizing everything not just work related issues but physical features, clothing choices, etc
If the people that hold power are the problem, my real advice is to brush up on your resume if it's not the environment you want to be in. I know that's not helpful, but if the ones who dictate what's acceptable allow or engage in bullshit behavior then it's just part of the culture. For me, if I were in your place then the avenue I would take to address it would be in 1) inquiring what kind of culture they intentionally want to create and 2) my guess is that there are some version of cultural/corporate values that exist and I would reference those and create discussion how that behavior feels out of alignment with those values. In all of my experience it doesn't change unless leadership owns it first, but I'm a shit stirrer so I would brush up on my resume and start applying elsewhere and then engage in the conversation, just in case you trying to address dysfunction puts a target on your back - which it may. It's really unfortunate and I wish it wasn't such a common reality in orgs. If this is your reality, I hope you find a more healthy company to be part of:)
@@GalenEmanueleShiftYesthank you! You are a treasure in these platforms and help in more ways than you can imagine.
life saver
Wonderful content underated channel!
Awesome, thanks Nikolas!
Thanks this is helpful!
Awesome:)
Thank you!
You're welcome! :)
Unintelligible
Time Wasters or social engineering, usually the IRS