She Needs Space But Still Living Together? (How TF Does This Even Work?)

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  • Опубліковано 25 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 23

  • @GeoffreySetiawan
    @GeoffreySetiawan  День тому +4

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  • @陳實仁
    @陳實仁 14 годин тому +2

    In an interview with Shawn, you once mentioned that his partner seemed indifferent but still reached out to him in the end. Have you ever encountered someone who’s truly indifferent ?
    Someone who has no emotions left for you-not anger, not sadness, not even disappointment. Whether you improve or fall apart, they just don’t care anymore because all they associate with the relationship is hurt and exhaustion.
    I’ve been hurt by family members before, and when I face them now, I feel nothing-just calm. Even if they’ve changed for the better, it doesn’t affect me anymore.
    When there’s no emotion left, it seems like you stop wondering whether the other person has changed. Instead, you just think,
    “You didn't change ? That’s kind of sad."
    “Oh, you’ve really changed ? That’s great-good for you. But it has nothing to do with me.”
    I’d love to hear your thoughts on indifference. Thank you~

    • @theorangeofallahpbuh1840
      @theorangeofallahpbuh1840 13 годин тому +1

      Im not Geoffrey, and this is just my hypothesis, but from what you’ve said, it sounds like they have changed but haven’t really seen how they hurt you. Like they haven’t really interacted with and healed your emotions. Would you say that’s similar to how you feel? Or would you describe it another way

    • @陳實仁
      @陳實仁 5 годин тому

      ​@@theorangeofallahpbuh1840 You have such a thoughtful way of asking questions and genuinely caring about others’ feelings !
      I agree with some of what you said and want to share a bit more.
      Rationally, I can see that the other person has become a completely different person, and it’s been like this for a long time (around two years).
      I don’t reach out unless it’s absolutely necessary, and when they contact me, I reply politely but distantly, like responding to a stranger asking for directions.
      When it comes to healing emotions, based on my experience, I don’t think it’s needed or rather, I don’t care.
      Even if they try, it feels like a switch in my heart has been flipped off ,like a puppet with its strings cut.
      I just sit there. When they show empathy and ask about my feelings, I respond like a machine, telling them I don’t feel anything at all.
      They try to manipulate the strings, but there’s no emotion on my end.
      (That's also why Geoff mentioned that falling outcome is the only way.)
      My guess is that when the pain becomes unbearable, people naturally shut down their senses.

    • @陳實仁
      @陳實仁 5 годин тому

      ​@@theorangeofallahpbuh1840 You have such a thoughtful way of asking questions and genuinely caring about others’ feelings!
      I agree with some of your points and would like to share a bit more.
      Rationally, I can see that the other person has become a completely different person, and this has been the case for a long time-about two years.
      I don’t initiate contact unless it’s absolutely necessary, and when they do reach out, I respond politely but distantly, like replying to a stranger asking for directions.
      When it comes to healing emotions, in my experience, I don’t think it’s necessary-or rather, I just don’t care.
      Even if they try, it feels like there’s a switch in my heart that’s been turned off-like a puppet whose strings have been cut.
      I just sit there. When they show empathy and ask about my feelings, I respond mechanically, telling them I don’t feel anything at all.
      They try to pull the strings again, but there’s no reaction, no emotion left on my end.
      (That’s also why Geoff said that the “falling outcome” is the only way, and honestly, I think it’s the only possible way too.)
      My guess is that when the pain becomes too overwhelming, people naturally shut down their senses.

    • @陳實仁
      @陳實仁 2 години тому

      @@theorangeofallahpbuh1840 You have such a thoughtful way of asking questions and genuinely caring about others’ feelings!
      I agree with some of your points and would like to share a bit more.
      Rationally, I can see that the other person has become a completely different person, and this has been the case for a long time-about two years.
      I don’t initiate contact unless it’s absolutely necessary, and when they do reach out, I respond politely but distantly, like replying to a stranger asking for directions.
      When it comes to healing emotions, in my experience, I don’t think it’s necessary-or rather, I just don’t care.
      Even if they try, it feels like there’s a switch in my heart that’s been turned off-like a puppet whose strings have been cut.
      I just sit there. When they show empathy and ask about my feelings, I respond mechanically, telling them I don’t feel anything at all.
      They try to pull the strings again, but there’s no reaction, no emotion left on my end.
      (That’s also why Geoff said that the “falling outcome” is the only way, and honestly, I think it’s the only possible way too.)
      My guess is that when the pain becomes too overwhelming, people naturally shut down their senses.

    • @陳實仁
      @陳實仁 2 години тому

      You have such a thoughtful way of asking questions and genuinely caring about others’ feelings!
      I agree with some of your points and would like to share a bit more.
      Rationally, I can see that the other person has become a completely different person, and this has been the case for a long time-about two years.
      I don’t initiate contact unless it’s absolutely necessary, and when they do reach out, I respond politely but distantly, like replying to a stranger asking for directions.
      When it comes to healing emotions, in my experience, I don’t think it’s necessary-or rather, I just don’t care.
      Even if they try, it feels like there’s a switch in my heart that’s been turned off-like a puppet whose strings have been cut.
      I just sit there. When they show empathy and ask about my feelings, I respond mechanically, telling them I don’t feel anything at all.
      They try to pull the strings again, but there’s no reaction, no emotion left on my end.
      (That’s also why Geoff said that the “falling outcome” is the only way, and honestly, I think it’s the only possible way too.)
      My guess is that when the pain becomes too overwhelming, people naturally shut down their senses

  • @Deyofamily
    @Deyofamily День тому +3

    If you have been watching these videos and on the fence, definitely do the masterclass. This program is life-changing.

  • @bennyguerra6539
    @bennyguerra6539 15 годин тому

    Amazing i am in this situation, living with my Ex and i am will to repair and i have already made changes in myself that she has noticed and seen her acknowledge my work, now she is dating someone else which makes thing difficult but i know we can reconcile 🙌🏽

  • @shashwatsingh4319
    @shashwatsingh4319 14 годин тому +1

    Hi Geoff, my girlfriend and I are in long distance but recently broke up because of me. I have been talking and texting her trying to build safety, she had drunk texted me once saying she still loves me. I've asked her for a conversation about her feelings, she agreed, but she's been busy with her work and life. I've said that we can have the conversation when she feels ready and she agreed on that too. But she doesn't talk after that. This had happened a few days back also. I am patient and working on myself in the meantime not trying to establish contact as it might feel intruding. I hope this is not "no contact" or is it? Is there something I am doing wrong?

  • @livewithinthedream
    @livewithinthedream День тому +1

    I will say this, DO NOT use these frameworks until your internal shifts are genuine/permanent. They are not the “what to say” as come to find out that part actually comes very naturally. It will totally fuck you over to try and use this in anything but a purely genuine nature
    That said what a useful video! Seeing a more clear outline for the TTH is very very helpful. I myself am experiencing unreal resistance right now, when two weeks ago we were chatting for hours.
    I find that the PoC is definitely a huge downward spiral and have had to use the SoC and auto suggestions out the wahoo.
    Also Geoff, SoC is wild dude. It feels like I am third part to my own thoughts. I have never experienced anything like this

  • @MattBlogna
    @MattBlogna 15 годин тому

    Made the mistakes now she want to clear the finances and move on I'm gutted

  • @Johnjohn-187
    @Johnjohn-187 9 годин тому

    Finding that middle ground of no contact aloof and find smart ways to be able to contact and show changes is what is difficult for me at the moment. I feel I have been performing well and she has to have noticed my changes but she is still stonewalling. It’s 10 months now and I feel like the POC is getting worse. She has started pulling away more, no contact, removed photos off her social media. I’m seeing this as POC and that it is actually a good thing. What do you think? I’m I thinking correctly?

  • @vanessayoga7522
    @vanessayoga7522 День тому +2

    Do you have a email to ask you a question thru there about joining program, motivated buyer

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  День тому +1

      @@vanessayoga7522 geoffrey@relationshipsmastered.com. Be sure to let us know who you are and mention this comment so we do not miss it.
      We do get an overwhelming number of emails, and while I want to respond to everyone, it has become increasingly impossible to do so!

  • @jordanjordan935
    @jordanjordan935 День тому

    What If your Partner have a middle grade depression take Anti depressiv tablets. refuse to go to doctor appointments, and Drink Alcohol infront of our child.

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  День тому +1

      @@jordanjordan935 What about it? We have discussed this a lot in our interviews and other videos.
      Toxic behavior can either be due to character issues (very rarely in our experience) or a self-preservation mechanism due to a bad relationship culture or environment.
      We have currently worked with 5,000+ clients, and every single time they go through something similar, and create the 5 pillars, they are amazed at how much their partner blossoms and how much these toxic behaviors go away.
      But if you think that your partner is this way because she has some character issue and NOT due to the environment, then the ironic part you have to think about is - have you REALLY created the right environment in the first place?
      Up to you on how you want to see it!
      But remember, like we always say, your paradigms determine your reality. :)
      Why do you think your partner is behaving this way? Is this a character issue or a defense mechanism to a toxic culture or environment?

  • @gtpro700
    @gtpro700 День тому

    Could someone say the other program that he is referencing that is causing damage because I listen to a bunch of different UA-cam channels for advice and don’t want to be going down a wrong road listening to one that everyone is talking about

    • @lukeleonardrasmussen3550
      @lukeleonardrasmussen3550 11 годин тому

      I believe he's referring to Marriage Helper. A very passive, religious oriented program that Geoffrey beats out of the water

  • @gavinconlon869
    @gavinconlon869 23 години тому

    Geof what are campaign,s..im in the arc system now for ovr a year now,yet i,ve alway,s and still listen to you..(Bruce). 15 yr,s ..she,s done..not aloud any decision. Shoutiing at .e even though ew had good night,s..treat me and say like living with 2 boy,s..we have a son ..alway,s going out with her freind overnight..getting drunk very quick..after having great day..she decend,s on me with real toxic intent and anger which we ve talk about to resolve it got worse ..too which now um to blame i reaction(bad response i know)..2 yr,s now coming out house that she gave to me..bcus im a boy..is strange bcus she wanted this..i did not..she haz to be above..if i went against or for ,..she be say annoyed