My mom. Her mom. Her brother. 2 exes. I'm now the crazy cat lady who avoids most people and will probably die alone. Life is safer and more peaceful that way.
@@peterrobbins6691 I never put my kids down but yelling and them watching their parents fight all time was enough trauma. Their grown and three don’t want kids. I’m praying that change and your situation changed or will.
If you are sensitive (enough) you will sense that a narcissist is fake and mimic emotions without feeling them. This is at least my own experience. Is a kind of a freak show ;) But I didn't know that this person was a narcissist. I just thought he was fake and kind hollow or shallow. Unpleasant to be with...
That's true. My ex wife is a covert narcissist and she has successfully made me look like a criminal and took my kids away with a restraining order. She fooled the courts/police/every high authority with her manipulations.
I was a victim of my family, my ex, and then I finally realized my daughter was a covert narcissist, like her dad, last year after she had her baby and I helped her recover. I was so busy dealing with their behavior I had no idea what it was. She smeared me to her new family and I walked away devastated. I’ve recently recovered to the point that I know one of my biggest fears is how others see me. And that if I can get over these lies I’ll be so much better. So if they want to believe them, so be it. I’ll be the biggest supposedly abuser in my head and think how everyone hates me. Doing that has kind of numbed me to it. It’s not true, I was set up. So I can not care and go on knowing I don’t have to tear others down. The gift in this is I’m healing my dependency issues from childhood sexual and mental abuse. I stayed enslaved through everyone, including my daughter. My son has been the one to keep me sane because he’d call out her lies when i didn’t have the strength to.
They are EXTREMELY good at being charming, charismatic, “loving.” Being with a narcissistic is mind melting; you can’t get a grasp on reality, because they’re gaslighting you, and you end up questioning yourself. It’s a horrible state to be in. I hope to never be involved with another one in my lifetime!
Thank you for this, it's validating to hear someone else say it for the first time. This is exactly how i feel, i can't seem to understand reality and I've been losing my mind rapidly, even more so since I had to depend on an abusive narcissist for financial reasons. I don't know what to do as i come from the same kind of family and i started running from then and ended up here so that's not an option ... there's no where else to go. I've lost all my friends,everyone who knew me i lost them to abusive relationships. And it's like I'm going crazy and blaming myself and shaming myself for everything. Thank you so much for to wrote this, it somehow resonates in my f-ed mind. And this video, I'll have to watch this everyday before i go mad and become who they are.
Yes it really messes me up. Now when a man is sincerely nice to me and i am scared i am being gaslit and played with. I try not to think like that though, i try to not let my past ruim my future. I want to trust this man. The only solution is to be aware of any real red flags and to run as soon as I dont like it anymore or if there is any drama. Once you accept the possibility of ending up alone, you don't accept bad behaviour of anyone anymore. Same with jobs. Become a little (financially) independent and you can always run. In relationships it is the same. Have an emotional bank account with an emotional reserve so you always have the mental strength to be alone. It is as easy as accepting that life is doable on your own too.
Agreed! My neighbor, who had become a close friend, was the ultimate chameleon. She could be the kindest, sweetest, most generous and giving person you could ever meet. It took a while for her ugly side to come out, but when it did, it was awful. I’m so glad to be free of that now. But she’s definitely a tricky one. Took me a long time to realize what was wrong.
That confusion you feel with a narcissist is one of the first ways I use to spot them now. When their character perplexes me I know there is a personality disorder present. When you’re left wondering: are they deceptive, evil, passive aggressive or do they not realise what they’re doing? ALARM BELLS! 🔔
An ex co-dependent will be less than enthusiastic about getting into too many details about who they are with someone they've just met, they may even throw you a few curve balls if they see you as prying. Cluster Bs generally have a wide eyed stare they do when they're trying to mirror you, anyone who seems to be paying lots of attention to people's facial expressions is a red flag. If they aren't interested in you they are the people that seem always busy, on their phones but never seem to accomplish much, this is the "see how I'm so important and the centre of attention" act.
ACTORS - Duped me at age 19....the knight in shining armor. Married quickly. Nightmare started as soon as we moved into our apartment. Treated me as if he was still single. It escalated from there for 30 years of trying to hold our marriage together. Don't waste your life, like I did. Get out right away.
Never too late. Duped me at age 20, he was my best male friend. Acted single uncover for years and stopped hiding it. After all, he said marriage is nothing but a piece of paper several times. I should’ve known better. Best wishes
Wow, so sorry you had to go through that, I hope all is well for you now. Keep spreading your experiences people need to understand how these demons are on a path of destruction. Stay encouraged & be safe❤
Yes, the problem is not that we are staying as our own fault, but it's because we, usually, are young and do not have sufficient information. If I know now what I had know then, when I was much younger, I would have given away for adoption, what turned out to be a sleaze, and NEVER had come anywhere near that sub human family. So many of us have wasted much of our lives because we did not have the vocabulary, and know the concepts that we know now.
If you want to take the mask off these people. Disagree with them, challenge what they say or think(does not even need to be overtly confrontational) dont go along w their status quo. The contrast between how a narc reacts and a non narc is blatantly obvious
Same thoughts here…Sam Vaknin says one way to remove narcissist from ur life is by mortifying their grandiose ego by disagreeing n confronting them for their abuse.👍
You are so on point. As long as I smile and do what my parents ask me then they are semi-fine. I mean semi-fine because they still treat me like I have some ulterior motive and I am out to hurt them and people in general. Basic projection. But if I was to flat out say “no” to anything the masks come off and the dehumanization and put downs begin. They are smiling one moment and the next they are raaaaaaaging. Just going off on you, tearing down your character and whatever else they think will hurt you. And I am almost 49. I live on the other side of a very big country than them, but with social media and phones in general they can pop a little probing message on your phone screen whenever they want. They used to leave notes on the kitchen counter for me when I would wake up in the morning before school. The notes would tell me how I intentionally hurt them in some way. One night I was tired from school and fell asleep in bed without saying goodnight. When I woke up the next and came downstairs there was a note for me on he kitchen counter table. “By going to bed without saying goodnight you are telling us to F**k Off.” They then continued to give me the silent treatment and treated with disdain for the entire week because of it. I had to bow my head and apologize for telling them to apparently F Off…… Made me think all people were like this and if you didn’t follow all social norms to the letter than people had a right to treat you like garbage because so obviously you are.
I'm afraid that does not work: Many times, they'll "double down". That's what happened in my case; and their behavior got far worse. I must have been dealing with a near full blown psychopath...
What's painful is realizing that my father is this person, and that my mother has lost more than forty years of life striving to win his love and approval, he started a lifelong affair with a close relative and there's this constant, ever present threat that we, the adult children will eventually "know." He uses this relative as a control lever, getting my mom to agree to everything he does, to automatically jump to his defense whenever others put their foot down, and worse of all to be an accomplice in his manipulative activities or lie on his behalf. I've made a conscious decision not to ever marry, after having observed this appalling dynamic. After forty-plus years of trying to survive in this twisted family system of smoke and mirrors, I believe the least I deserve is some peace with a cat on my lap.
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
It is complex and have so many elements to it, its twists and turns all the way. Trying to understand and tell others about the narcissist is nearly impossible. The trail of human suffering surrounded the narcissist should be a tell tell sign. Mental illness, drug addictions and more. The devil in disguies.
I agree it's so frustrating trying to tell someone about being in a relationship with a narc they look at you like your the crazy one I just don't bother speaking to anyone about it now.
When I first discovered their "level of existence" I felt like my last vestiges of innocence had been destroyed, I felt sullied, dirty. It takes a long time to get over that feeling. I can see why some would want to deny it exists, there's no going back once you acknowledge it, it's a long road that takes a lot of psychological and dare I say spiritual energy to get through. Many would prefer just to ignore it, it's their life, their journey. When they are ready, they'll listen.
I was in a narcissistic relationship for two and a half years. Still trying to recover a year later. Horrifying to realize everything was a lie. I wish other people could see the real him.
I was in A narc relationship 6years, now my ex moved to Paris and has completely discard me even tho We spend last 3years plannig to go together Paris.. .. i have never felt pain Like this. Everything i believed in was A lie. Im still deeply in love for this moran.. everyday taking baby steps to get over him. I wish all much love who knows what its like❤️
Great video. I fell for the narcissist's charms and love bombing. It wasn't until years of pain and self work when I realized that I was codependent and that is what the narcissist used to draw me in. Further work on myself led me to realize that I was raised by narcissistic parents, so i missed the red flags which other people could see. A very painful but necessary revelation.
Exactly my story. I've had two narcissistic husband's. The first was 14 years to an overt malignant narcissist, (at the time we were married and even up until my second marriage ending, I didn't know the label for what he was or all the craziness). I didn't take time to heal or get counseling and I rekindled with a guy who was my first love when we were young. It seemed like a fairytale. I thought He was the opposite of my ex. He was EXACTLY like my first husband, but a covert narcissist. Exactly the same, just hiding beneath a mask of kindness and love. It took me 13 years (married to #2) to figure both of them out. It took me six months after I figured it out and confronted husband #2 to leave. He admitted everything. He had no sympathy, empathy or guilt about anything, in fact he couldn't even love. (His words) Now I'm 9 months away from him. I've realized that I am codependent (Self-love deficit disorder) and was raised by 2 narcissists.
That's what most victims don't want to see or acknowledge; we fell into the trap due to our childhood traumas because for an empathetic person who has been "trained" to be codependent is the hardest thing to admit and that is that your mom/dad or maybe both, never loved you.
It helped me to realize that he had multiple women on dating apps etc and chats and online sex plus he ruined me almost financially. Then it was easier to leave the liar.
"They believe their own lies. That explains it all." Very true. Or it might be more accurate to say they *want* to believe their own lies. At some deep level they know they are lying, but the lies they tell other are always constantly running through their own minds. They lie to themselves at least as much as they lie to others.
You might enjoy studying lies and deception 🙂 lol (you'll find that your description...fits nearly EVERYONE) Because this type of lying isn't a "they/their" thing -- It's an "us/our" thing. _Meaning that description fits you, me, and nearly everyone reading this._
@@NeonCicada We all have blind spots, however, the ones who self-examine and truly bear witness to the painful truth about themselves as flawed creatures in need of God's redeeming power, those people can stop living in denial. (Didn't even know I was lying to myself). So I do not accept your definition as applying to everyone in the world. It is possible, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to live a life pursuing truth and goodness. It means battling and defeating our fallen nature. There's your sermonette for the day. God loves you very much.
@@louiseevans5752 Jesus told His disciples that not everyone who says, "Lord, Lord, did we not cast out demons in your name?" will enter the kingdom of Heaven. IMO we cannot judge the state of another's soul. We are totally responsible for our own soul and what we do in this life with the gifts God gives us. It is best just to release the N into God's hands. It is maddening at times to witness hypocrisy in your face regularly, but in the long run, there will be justice. Shalom.
So very true. Especially the bit about - you have to live with them to know what they are really like. My father was a narcissist, most likely a malignant narcissist. And he did my head in in a way that still at 53 I am dealing with the fall out. It unfortunately changed the course of my life at a young age and left me grappling with his problems transplanted into me. Their ability to lie outright with utter conviction is amazing. But I also learnt some things about them. They are vacuous people, they are empty and almost ‘devour’ other people’s energy and will and personality. They innately view others around them as ‘objects’ to be manipulated for their gain. A partner, or a child is simply another appendage to them or a trophy to reflect their own delusional self view - the Grand Lie they have told themselves from a long time ago. I believe this starts early in life and is set before the age of about 10 years old. Their actions towards their siblings, friends and work colleagues slowly reveal who they are. But you would need to know them intimately to connect the dots to all the behaviours and incidents. When you first meet a narcissist and you experience that ‘glow of attention; they give you - just remember - you are like a rabbit in headlights and they wish to devour/consume/control whatever it is about you they desire. And usually this is something that equates to an insecurity or something they lack, or something the perceive will greatly support their own deluded story of self. And when their new favourite ‘focus/toy/interest/appendage’ does not dance as the narcissist wants them to (or they stop fulfilling the narcissistic need), then they turn their wrath and complete destruction upon that person who has ‘let them down/attacked them’ as they perceive it. They really perceive anyone NOT dancing to thier tune as a personal act to destroy them. This is the truth and why I say they are ultimately weak and vacuous. But this also makes them dangerous as they are devoid of any empathy and see things through a lens of destroy or be destroyed. What they perceive as destruction is actualy the truth/feedback combing to them about their dysfunctional personalities. And this contradicts the Great Delusional Lie they have repeated as a mantra to themselves and everyone around them -about themselves. My advice - if you happen to meet and befriend someone who is a narcissist - if you feel love bombed at first, but then more and more controlled (ex access to friends, past activities you used to enjoy) AND you find yourself questioning yourself as being in the wrong with every issue you bring up with your partner - run don’t walk. Get out of their orbit even for a few days and spend time with someone who knows you well and discuss…for those born under a narcissist - this is much harder. All I can say from my personal experience is this: Give up on achieving ANY kind of resolution/understanding with your narcissistic parent. They will live and sleep much happier than you and will never lose a moment of worry, thinking about how you have been affected and if they were in any way responsible. They will genuinely think YOU are being narcissistic and tell everyone a story of how they are so worried about you. They will NEVER see anything but their own POV and story. Any tears they yr or sympathy they express is just another method to flip the script and ‘win’ by manipulating you again. Unfortunately..I tried to talk with my father for many years. And he would talk - but once in all those years I managed to drag him kicking and screaming (emotionally) to the truth of his actions and for a second I saw the madness, the emptiness and the panicked terrified fear flash across his eyes and I realised - no matter what I said - he cannot acknowledge this - it would destroy him. And so he passed away peacefully a few years later. In his own strange way he still wanted me to be apart of his life, as long as I fit in to what he wanted. I had made my point over the years - and he knew and I knew every time our eyes met. But he never changed, and never changed his ‘story, Grand Lie’ to others right up to the end. My advice would be - however you can - get out, live your life. Your empathy and feelings for your nacisstic abusive parent are keeping you trapped within their orbit. And they will never change.
Truth! I"m praying my daughter gets to this point sooner than later. She is 15 and I left 3 years ago. SHe sees it but still stuck in the he is my dad. She cannot stand going to where he lives but then feels that child guilt. She knows he doesn't treat them appropriately but I feel everytime he does better she gets her hopes up. I know he is not going to change because I stayed married 15 years. Its a hamster wheel. Glad you came into the truth.
When the mask falls you don't understand the cognetive dissonance that occurs and your justifications starts.The gut feeling that something is off is my biggest lesson and sign that I have learned to listen to.Thank you Danish for your video 🙏
Narcissists are deeply unhappy, and if you are close to them you feel it. Even more so when it's a parent. You feel sorry for them and want to reach out and help them. But the fact that yu are so strong that you can actually offer them help only makes them hate you more. - You need to realize that there is nothing you can do to make them happier, more stable persons. Maybe there is something that can be done, but assuredly not by you, because you are their victim.
The confusion was almost constant. He presented such a great facade and really worked to maintain the image. I occasionally would see things that were very weird and now I know that was when the mask would slip. Because I was so invested emotionally and thought I was in love, I was always able to reconcile within myself. truly a parasite. It’s unbelievable the manipulation that happens. Mind control
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
They are masters at being chameleons. They adapt and change shape, colour and behaviour depending on who they're with. That's why you often hear neighbours and friends of serial killers say: "Oh I never suspected anything. He/she seemed like such a likeable, quiet and peaceful human being. I'm in absolute shock!". You will only see their 100% true colours when you are in close proximity to them for longer periods of time.
That's why narcs keep their distance from those who are not within their inner circle. Friendships, and so on, are artificial. You can never get to know them too transparently. But for those within their inner circle, they see the true colors.
My ex narcissist had me fooled. He presented himself as this great person but it was all a lie. Once the mask slipped off, I saw his true colors. I have been no contact with him for 6 months now. Best thing I ever did. Finally healing. Great video! Thank you
You are so right on in your videos. Very straight forward great information about the sneaky narcissist. My “mom” is one and my dad committed suicide 30 years ago because of her and his own narcissist mother. He married his mom. She fakes being nice when others are around but can’t stand it when anything good happens in my life or the life of others. It’s a hard life to have a narcissistic mother. Thank you for your wonderful videos!
I am basically that guy. Only I didn't end myself. 20 year marriage. I did think about it several times. I didn't know that a person could end up as destroyed as I have been. Go from confident, loving, empathetic, and caring to almost completely bitter, resentful, and raging just like her. If you spend enough time with them you almost swap personalities with them. Just recently I am feeling a great deal more empathy and even laughing. I was so caught up in the F.O.G. that could not enjoy anything. God is the only reason I made it through alive. Gratitude is the best antidote for where I have been. Thanks for reading. God bless.
Someone else said something interesting: Many times, you can discern that a family, or some family members are sick and suffering from toxic abuse. Look around - do you see some family members are drug addicts, and/ or alcoholics, or have sex addictions, etc...? Stay away from that family, then. I wish I had known this tip.
@@rexbennett7414 I’m so sorry. I’m so happy you didn’t end your life. 🙏🏼 I used to feel guilty for even thinking these things about my so called mom until I started realizing it’s NOT me. Stay strong. God rewards us for pushing forward. Love and light to you.
I am not trying to offend you here, but we must look at ourselves why we keep falling into the same trap, somewhere there is blindness, usually because you are possibly a co-dependent, you may have also had a narcissistic parent who was borderline or milder form. Because I met both kinds, the extreme narcissist and the borderline less extreme who even hurt themselves by alcoholism. and wasn't trying to always hurt or control me. He did but was not constant. or extreme.
Empaths are fools for falling for abuse over and over. I am an empath. The abuse didn’t stop until I made it stop. People treat us the way we let them. My daughter is the covert abuser. I’ve decided that I no longer need her in my life. It only took three months to come to this decision. Having no daughter is way better than a covert narcissist for a daughter.
To me, they're just straight liars. Horrible human beings, in my opinion. My ex is a malignant narcissist and always used his fakeness and charm to get over on people.
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
@@ashleykathryn9038 tbf some people are taught to do that in weird business seminars. Because there's a study that shows people naturally mirror people and it's a sign of connection. But obviously when a narcissist or someone "learning" to be more charming try it and it comes off really odd. Even people who aren't narcissists I've noticed will learn jokes. Sometimes people who struggle with socialising and it's so obvious that they learnt it. But in that case it's weirdly nice they're trying... But yeah, definitely know what you mean, and it makes me instantly suspicious, especially in a business work setting.
When I called my father out on a big lie, he'd look at me as if he was very wounded, and say "May God forgive you!" (he was anti religeous), and continue to lie straight faced. - You're so right. They really do believe their own lies!
No they are not. Because they cannot feel their true inner self and that feels clingy and inauthentic to people, who are in contact with themselve. It´s all fake und presentation mode, they are perfect sales people. Real good actors need empathy for their played character like a baker needs flour, because without it, they cannot interpret a role convincingly enough. Best example, Amber Heard, she wants the success, glamour and fame but poor acting skills. Marvellous actor Anthony Hopkins, humble and wonderful human being.
You're right, this is not a personality disorder. When their eyes go pitch black, there is something else in them. Something that acts human, but it's not!
It's a demon. So what else do we know about demons: they're fearful, so, they bluff, but they're scared little children, which is sad, and secondly, they need our consent. This has helped me so much. I don't fear them, I have compassion for their suffering, and I don't consent to be around that.
My abusive narcissistic ex was obsessed with 'the power of attraction' described in The Secret (book/dvd). He believed that if you believe something strongly enough, it becomes a reality. Now I understand how he was able to come to the point of believing his own lies- it was a strategy, and it served him well for a while. I don't think these people will ever come clean. They're so invested in their fabricated reality that it would feel like death to tell the truth- the real, vulnerable truth.
I was discarded a year ago. In one of our last conversations he had revised our history, forgot WHO he was speaking to, and spewed his lies out to me! I couldn’t believe my ears. When I confronted him, he said it was his perception. What a loser.
I had a similar scenario happened to me with my ex narcissist. He basically was telling me what he told other people about our relationship and break up and I was astounded at how different his story was from mine. When I said something he said that's was his take on it in his mind! Which is true but I couldn't believe how it was so 360 opposite from my experience! That's why they never grow and change because they stay stuck on stupid.
@Mihaela Liptcheva-Ivanova they fully believe their own BS. You know they’ve been repeating it when they say it so convincingly to you! When they’re contradicted, they are truly in disbelief. It’s an amazing thing to watch…mental illness 101 on full display.
You mean they're so nuts they'll call you by their exes name and not even correct themselves? Or if it's the "dad" he'll call you his wife's name. Certified nuts and sickos.
The lies are so dangerous, he told me he was abroad in another European country, but when I called his number there was no international dial tone, it’s was still registered to our country dial sound, when I confront him, nicely, he raged and started to throw the proverbial kitchen sink at me to put me off course. To this day, I never got a proper explanation. We parted…… the lies are so damaging and it’s hard to get over
And that’s why he raged - you found him out . Typical child-like response . You weren’t dealing with an adult and well done on breaking up . It may not seem like it now but you’ve dodged a bullet and saved yourself from years of this behaviour.
Was on a weekend away with him and caught him on his phone chatting up another woman. I immediately packed and insisted on going home. He accused me of overreacting and ruining the weekend.
Same here. The child like behavior rage/tantrum is crazy. My ex never told me why either but I got my own closure as I educated myself about narcissistic abuse. He never existed. It was all a lie
Thank you so much for your explanation of this disorder/demonic mess that we're starting to recognize more and more. Believe me when I tell you, when you encounter this with church leaders, in various positions, titles, it's on a totally different level. It's scary, painful! .
It does have qualities of demonic oppression for sure. However, people who claim to follow Christ are SUPPOSED to allow the Spirit of God to transform them from the inside out. Narcs do not let that happen, so they act well for the public, but in private you get to see who they really are. It is very common for Narcs to gravitate to "spiritual" environments and hide out there, quietly abusing and controlling others. Ever hear this: Street angel, house demon?
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
Unfortunately after all the abuse; the rest of the tribe literally bury us alive. We actually are left alone; totally abandoned by all. It’s such a painful journey. 💔😓😭
I'm afraid this is more common than many think. I have gone through this, as well. I hope you are young, so that you will never have to go through this again, because you now, have been educated, as I have been.
Yes that's exactly how it plays out. The narc parent smears you under the guise of fake "concern" your entire life, long before you awaken. Then when you awaken, you try to expose this sub human devil and you are summarily judged "crazy" and dropped by all like a sack of steaming 💩. It is an absolute Machiavellian nightmare to go through and no one understands, not even your spouse or close friends (if you have any, which I didn't only my husband). They turn everyone against you secretly long before you know what's happening. But hindsight is 20/20. Looking back to family gatherings and how extended family acted strange around you, almost nervous and avoidant, staring at you from across the room as though you had mustard all over your chin or acting as though you were invisible and not worth their time, barely acknowledging you, or acting over the top fake, so much so that even you notice something is amiss with these people. It is witchcraft. Witchcraft is manipulation of the minds of other people. It's like being Rosemary in the horror flick Rosemary's Baby or Carrie in the horror movie "Carrie"...
Hi, I'm a narcissistic abuse victim and survivor..I experienced it with my mother predominantly, and some other members of the family, as well (my brother turned out to be her "upbringing" of a narcissist)..it was quite a hellride, but now I managed to set my boundaries, and I am not at all afraid to be "mean" to her, and express my views and feelings, although she doesn't comprehend them at all..my way of going on with my life is not to interact with her about serious matters, and keep the meeting occasions at the lowest number..I now am a healthy adult, and am not afraid of having a family of my own..I know I'd be a different kind of mother, as I can be a good "mother" to myself.. thanks for the helpful video..
Hi dear. I too suffered because of narc mom. Luckily I went to hostel for education n started healing.My dad was my big support. Then married n was happy for 3 years, then found hubby is a narc too. Suffering since 15 years
@@ruksananajmi6957 Thanks for sharing this, and I'm sorry to hear that..I almost went downhill with my relationships, too, but it was when I came across Christ's truth that I got really saved and healed by His grace..when He heals, and helps in our marriages, that's for real..that's why I didn't want to lean on my own understanding, and figure out who my husband should be, but I totally rely on Him to show me..this is the way this cycle of narc "curses" gets broken..wishing you all the best and all the strength..what worked for me is the realization that it was not my fault, and I set clear and firm boundaries (I allow this but that ain't gonna happen)..
THIS IS 100000000000% ACCURATE. I WAS MARRIED TO A NARCISSIST WITH ASPERGERS! A COMBO FROM HELL. I've only realized this after our divorce where she has now alienated my 2 boys from me. I was confused for 16 years. She ticked all the boxes but I always felt depressed around her. Like I was being slowly being boiled alive. Her words rang hollow. Her apologies meant nothing. She made me feel like I was the bad one. When you meet a narcissist RUN for your life. They're nothing but energy vampires. They will destroy you!!!!!!
They want what you possess, what your qualities are, your status, etc. the core problem as I see it is envy, which can quickly run its course along the continuum: envy, anger, hatred, violence and destruction. There is no external remedy as the problem is empirically personal and spiritual in nature.
You summed it up so well. Thank you. I used to own a yoga studio, which is a haven for lost and broken souls. I had several students who became teachers who became enemies within my business, and I think you said it perfectly. They wanted what I had, and when I didn’t give it to them, they had to destroy me. Ironically, the weaponized word of choice was to accuse me of being “controlling,” because I wouldn’t allow them to control me. It’s been 2 years since I closed my business and I’m still grieving and recovering.
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
Thank you for the kind words at the end, because you do being to wonder if there is something serious inept within for putting up and not seeing things for how they really are, it’s takes a long time to honestly admit the abuse happened, damage is done and healing will be long term, all because I trusted and genuinely loved another person
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
Thank you for this video! You are so on point! Wow!!! Every word you've said describes someone that's in my life right now and for the most part it feels like Im in a relationship with two different people....its the weirdest thing and if alcohol is added...the monster does come out....
I had an awareness about why I married a narc. Both my parents were narcs and I was a codependent people pleaser. I was so attracted to him and relentless In being with him. I wanted the liar. Even when this leopard showed me his spots I didn’t care. I overlooked the obvious. I was delusional and desperate to be loved by the devil. I REFUSED to see the truth and I paid a heavy price for calling evil good. I didn’t seek good hearted people. I was conditioned/programmed to seek the devil’s false love. I didn’t want authentic vulnerable people. I wanted the liar. I wanted to believe the lies. I was attracted to false and dangerous people. People who hated me. That’s what maybe subconsciously I thought I deserved. He wanted to be hated too. Subconsciously these people loathe themselves too. We were just playing out the toxic dynamics of our family of origin. I’m done fighting I’ve made peace with myself and the narc. Now that I allowed God’s grace to show me my role in this mess the game was over. Praise you Jesus. The truth really did set me free. I’m no longer a victim. I’m an over comer. ❤️👍 I’m totally in control of myself and I no longer fear the narc. I used to be out of control and terrified of the lying narc. Not anymore I’m free and we’re decent friends now. Very nice to each others it’s miraculous. I hope my testimony of self awareness helps someone. ❤
Self hatred and lack of feeling worthy is what attracts them, so easy for a victimizer then to grab hold. I believe in past lives (I still respect it if someone doesn't but I do) and I saw a past life where I had a dad who blamed me for the death of my little brother. he only loved his son, not me and never let me forget how horrible I was. I was a kid and he drowned but I was blamed and I left that life feeling guilt and that I was unworthy of being loved. I had several lifetimes where I carried this pattern forward and never healed it. Finally, I was born to my current parents and long story short, I was reborn to someone who agreed with my feelings of not being worthy and that I was "bad" and so on. Like attracts like so to speak, water seeks it's own level. Although I do not expect anyone to agree with me, it is my experience, it explains a lot for me, how we are conditioned and because we expect it then, it is "familiar" for us so we are in agreement that this is all we deserve. It all comes down to a lack of Self love, and ignorance. What saved me this lifetime was I met a man who turned me onto meditation and I was so desperate to try anything, that I did it. I still do it. Everyday. It saved my life many times over. But It has not been easy to turn my life around. I was so willing to "die" for my sins but to suffer a lot to make up for my "crimes". I was so guilt ridden. I had to face myself which takes courage. I had to stop hating myself and I only did this when I discovered that the 2nd commandment said, "LOVE OTHERS AS YOU DO YOUR SELF" the emphasis was on the AS YOU DO YOUR SELF. I never knew that so it gave me permission to start to let go of hating myself. So, Self forgiveness, knowing God is my real parent and not my mother helped enormously. I can keep identifying with Who I Am, that I am a Child of God, worthy and deserving of love, safety, being valued and to know that I am worthy to receive. I am still working on this everyday. I stay out of relationships because I am still susceptible to "trying to make others happy at the expense of myself". But it's not easy to reverse lifetimes of habitual patterns of feeling that you don't deserve to have anything, let alone live. But it has to be done. Sooner or later, you have to face your Self. So I feel for everyone on here as I understand and I am so utterly grateful that we now know this exists and that we aren't insane and we really aren't just "bad people" who know we really didn't do anything but still got blamed for everything and made to feel we are losers in life and cursed. I certainly did. So thank you Danish, I really appreciate and I resonate with your insights, how you explain things and how you don't pull any punches. I like that. I guess it comes from knowing what it feels like. No one ever validated me or believed me one iota growing up. Never, not once. And thank you guys for sharing your stories too. God bless us all to heal completely, because we deserve to be loved too.
My ex narcissist told me a lot of details about his past which was very dark. He also told me stories of where he was a real asshole to other people. But because of his demeanor and the way he told these truths about himself he didn't seem to be the type of person to do those things. So he told me who he was and I didn't believe him. Being a nice person myself I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Also I witnessed him crying a few times. I was very confused with Where I stood with this individual. And the bottom line was that I never felt loved, valued or appreciated. I mostly feel used manipulated and taken for granted.
@@Merlin0426 they are the same. We all are or were with the same demon in human flesh. Im serious. This is a spiritual war. This is no coincidence. The same characteristics no matter the age or way they were brought up. Its the devil in them.
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
Thank you. This came at the perfect time. I’ve questioned myself repeatedly for four years. Now I look back in disbelief that my boyfriend is not real. All of it was fake. It’s called a “mental mind f🔴ck”. How will I ever know the difference between a real person and a narcissist’s dysfunction? I don’t want to go through this again. He’s ruined my entire life.
I completely understand but only someone who has experienced will “get it”. You’re not alone . My life has also been ruined ) been destroyed by him. Strange strange people.
I learn that 14 years relation was faked, she was faked. Now i see that me and the kids were only tools for her. As of a year out of the relation she already had 2 new supply and i see she use people for her own purpose.
The answer is below byDanish . Work on yourself , listen to your gut. Work out what makes you happy and unhappy when dealing with people - and align with those where you feel safe . And put boundaries up with others - they tend to remove themselves from you once you know who they are .
I too feel this way. How to trust again is the biggest issue I am facing now. Hang in there. You will never be alone in this there are many of us in the same boat. Places like this channel are the kind of places that we can communicate honestly without being called crazy for sharing. Even though after the abuse we have been through we actually are kinda of crazy. God bless us all.
Was caught up in a narcissistic friendship which sucked all my energy. My happy day would be destroyed by gaslighting. I was in a state of imbalance and confusion and hated that feeling. But when I want to stop being friends, then the narcissist would turn on the charm and I would think that I was imagining all the bad things and it is all my fault for every argument. I was labelled as funny or crazy. He would laugh when I was triggered and lost my temper. Now I am stronger. I don't think it was a wasted four years. Because I have learnt to be strong enough to leave. There are things I regret but I put it down as lessons learnt.
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
I was raised in a fullblown narc family as a scapegoat. I find you videos the most helpful on the UA-cam, really genious!! Thank You!! 💯×💯%% the TRUTH!! Best of the best!!
I just froze in shock listening to you speak. It's as if you knew everything I have been through my whole life! I was raised by a narc mother and was married to a Narcissistic abuser who who isolated me from my support system and when i wanted a divorce, the abuse got worse and worse to the point where I was fearing for my life and could not talk to anyone about it at all. I finally got out and have been in therapy since because my normal meter was so broken from my childhood itself. It is so true , the lies and the false narratives that was spread about me but in the end , I know the truth now and I am grateful that I escaped with my life.
Thank you for this. Its amazingly validating and comforting to hear you put the lies of the narcissist so clearly and concisely. For all of us who have lived under the constant confusion of the abusive narcissist, it's like hearing someone boldly declare that the Emperor has no clothes on. So liberating~
When my ex husband started to get tired of the whole family thing he started arguments, accused me of being a bad mother, spread rumors all around town and internet that I abused my 2 girls. I could tell how people looked at me they believed him. A neighbor told me, and they believed him, that I abused my daughter when what I did was make her sit on the stairs for hitting her sister but he created another story. A friend of mine said she heard from the town office that we were divorced and we weren't. He became so abusive and scary, I had to leave with my 2 daughters and get a restraining order, but everyone believed him that I was the abuser because he is such a "nice" guy and so helpful to everyone even as he left his family and had little to do with his children, but of course no one could blame him because I was so bad. Funny how he abandoned his children leaving me to deal with it all. People are DUMB and it's maddening.
I experienced the same identical thing. My narcissistic ex got tired of being married, started the smear campaign on me telling everyone I was the abuser and terrible mother. People ran to his side offering condolences. Keep in mind he never kept a job, I was the stable parent with a master’s degree, I won full custody in court, because he refused to come to court to take a drug test this was reversed by him as me keeping the child away and I’m the devil. I don’t care to explain myself to people that believe him and sympathize with him if he was a great father he would have showed up to court. He doesn’t pay child support, yet he comes to my daughter’s volleyball games uninvited and snap photos as if they have a great relationship and post them on his Facebook page. These people are simply crazy.
This entire time I was trying to figure him out , that if maybe I could understand him better I could help him . I think a part of me loved him and felt sorry for the way that he was . His jokes would often shock me as they were so dark and the things he would say about people treating them as objects. Little did I know is that I was being treated in the same exact way. It was him vs. the world . I felt sorry that he felt the need to fight so many people . A part of me wanted to caress and love him , take the hurt away I felt he was experiencing . What you said about the charity is so true because he had given and worked on charity a lot in the past . When I first met him he gave off a vibe of understanding and care . Like he wanted to get to know me more , he walked me up to my room and immediately started speaking about me moving from the US to the country I was visiting . That first night I was confused and told him I couldn’t do that because I was finishing college . It was like curious he placed that nugget of thought in my mind. That I would move countries for him? I didn’t even know or trust him. He was trying to convince me . I thought it was kind of cute but now looking back it’s very strange and maybe the beginning of his manipulation of creating a false reality to get me attached to him . That he would take care of me and we would love a perfect little life together ?? He was always surrounded by people . People looked up to him and adored him. He seemed a very important person right off the bat. I felt special that he took an interest in me because the other girls would swarm him. We snuggled , listened to music , kissed and he whispered in my ear sweet nothings . He would comment on my appearance and outfits a lot . He told me I was the hottest girl on the trip , I actually felt special he picked me out from the rest. It made me want him more . That night repeats in my mind like it was absolutely perfect . Looking back now the situation should have just remained a good memory a perfect one and done .But being my curious self I decided to reach back out to him . To see if maybe there was anything there after a year and a half . The rest resulted in a horrific 4 months of my life . I legit became entrapped in a different reality. The key turning point for me realizing he was a narcissist was the fact that he couldn’t call me on the phone . I thought that was strange Sinse we had met before in person. When I asked why he didn’t want to talk to me he said he doesn’t talk to anyone on the phone only his mom , grandfather, and his best friend Sam . I was really confused because I thought me and him had built a rapport and he would want to hear from me at least in the voice again. It killed me that he didn’t want to talk to me , and I think he knows this . I just blocked him because there’s only so much a person can stand with the mixed signals. I really need to move forward now & heal .
Boy… he hit the nail on the head. I’m not a person who sits here and call everyone a narcissist because I know we all can be narcissistic, but I 100% am sure my mom is one. And she has people fooled. People don’t believe the things she has said or did to me. They look at me as an ungrateful child, and that our relationship is the typical relationship between a woman and her mom. Since we’re both women, they write it off as us both having bad attitudes. My mom is not normal, and she has mentally tortured me since a child. This video makes me feel so validated. To all the people who is dealing with an N whether it’s a romantic relationship or one with a family member, their true colors will show. And people will see what you were talking about all along. I’m praying for you❤️
Unfortunately victims of narcissistic abuse then withdraw and isolate from others and would rather give up interpersonal relationships to live alone in peace and freedom.
That is where im at right now... But I am determined to take the great qualities I had before he tried to destroy them, regain who makes me me ans bring what I went through to make me and even better person. That's the goal..
It sucks that they can fit in so well. I have to be so guarded and protective around people now. I can't just be myself, I have to be practically boring to keep myself safe from the soul suckers lol
I am 72. When I was young, my motto was to trust everyone until they gave me a reason not to ..... now my motto is the opposite - I trust NO ONE until they prove they are trustworthy & genuine & not a narcissist!
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
Wow. You quote me. I say that. I have to completely hide myself, my light and I go through life with my head down n trying to act like just another sheep. It's the only choice I have if I'd like to conserve my energy instead of being mobbed, stalked, harassed and threatened with murder, grape, etc, sexually assaulted in public, etc, the target of jealous women and haters.
What's extremely distressing about being married to a narcissist is that more often than not they won't rest until they know everything about you, the empath! Narcissists use those same insecurities no matter what they are or how traumatic, to find a way to make you responsible for your own pain! They play so many head games on a daily basis that even educated professionals can become completely worn out.. The only way to help yourself in a narcissistic controlled relationship is to get out! Their behaviors will worsen before they get better.. And the little bit of support that you will have in the way of friends or family will cause them to take a "hands off approach to the narcissist because the only way to deal with a narcissist is to confront him head on.. and your friends, family, support groups will not be willing to do this.. Living with them day to day you know the extreme lengths they call to hide their evil.. even getting out of a marriage, or relationship with them is hard because they will either lure you back in, or make it so difficult for you to leave.. some empaths feel that the financial strain emotional, psychological, physical drain that a narcissist leaves on you is just not worth it.. Some stay at their own peril..
I really appreciate hearing a male perspective on narcissism and narc abuse. I am a therapist specializing in narc abuse, DV, and trauma. I’m also a survivor of all of it. I’m interested in learning more from your perspective, thanks for being part of the solution!! ❤️
Mandy, it’s nice to hear that you understand. I’m currently in such a situation and trying to draw my exit strategy. There’s loving kids involved so that makes it murkier. Would love to pick your brain.
@@kennethagoi4115 getting out of a narcissistic relationship is one of the hardest challenges I can think of. Adding courts and children to the picture is so painful and scary. I really get that. That said, you can do it! Make sure that while you plan your next steps, that you give yourself some time, as often as you can, to do something just for you. It’s so easy to become drenched in the toxicity of it all, so it’s vital to love yourself and take time to care fir yourself. Easier said than done, I know! You can do this, trust your gut! 💪🏼
@@innerworkshealing22 thank you so much for your input. It’s truly challenging , but like you said , it’s possible. Your suggestions make sense. I haven’t really focused on taking care of me in a long time .
@@kennethagoi4115 that tends to happen to most of us while in a “relationship” w a toxic person. They target empathetic, caring, sincere people. Basically the opposite of what they are, they do this for many reasons including that we will put their needs above our own.
Very well said. I was raised by a narc mother and married a narc husband. I did not know there was this illness. I thought I was crazy. I went from abuse to abuse. I thought it was me. I started listening to professionals talk about narcissistic people. Now I understand. I was the first born of 8 of us. I was blamed for all the hate in my mother's life. Most of her children are also narcs. They are hateful, destroying beings. I miss them but want nothing to do with them. I am seeing a therapist and I am focusing on me now. So strange to do that. Thank you for you talk today. Feeling less a fool.
It is great that Danish is bringing this topic up in UA-cam. In DSM IV, one of the most prominent problems with NPD and/or other disorders is dysfunctionality at work and/or a family setting. These people with disorders, know how to hide all the undesirable characteristics.
This is so on point. I literally witnessed the narc looking to other people for how to react on a situation. I didn’t realise this for the longest time but they used me being the empathetic person that I am on how to gauge what’s emotionally appropriate. I then had a friend come to me saying that they thought they could talk to the narc about things. But since I left the friendship they can’t talk about anything and that I was the buffer.
Narcissist cannot fool me anymore. I can spot one from a mile away. Therapist and all counselors or judges need to get training so these evil people wont get away with their abuse.
Fine point. They make sure they are in control of their false narrative, by silencing you, however and whenever possible, so others only get one side - their side.
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
Thanks for those kind words. The victims always blame themselves for not setting the boundaries and being a fool. But I understand from your video that it is not the truth. Can't be more accurate, they create a fake image by involving themselves in philanthropic activities, which makes you fall for them. But all these are a plot to get their prey! Keep posting such videos and it is helpful for people like us. Myself and my husband will wait for your posts and discuss how true and accurate your posts are 🤗 our best wishes.
Totally agreed. First time having a narcissist in my life(my ex) and i discovered her fast. At first i didn't know what was a narcissist until i started investigation or watching videos on youtube and it was amazing ,how everything make sense after listening to lots of professionals in Narcissist Behavior. I learned from her and thank to myself i didn't fell into that blind hole for too long. Its very important to not ignore negative behavior from others. It can be very dangerous if you do.
With Narcissists, it's best to utilize your Miranda rights, because anything you say or do WILL be used against you, and that should tell you something about the U.S. justice system.
I cannot thank you enough for the reassuring words you said. I very much needed to hear that 🙏💝🤧😖 I was exhausted trying to explain my agony to others but no one including my closest people understand or believe me. Some of them brush it aside saying "no marriage is perfect, you have to adjust" and others think I am overreacting. This is, after being in 8 years of marriage! Once again thank you from bottom of my heart 🌸
Thank you so much for this video. You have voiced the answer to the question that I've asked myself for 10 years after finding out my father was crazy and not me. Why are they so hard to spot? It's that one two punch of kindness and charisma which hides the motive of control and constant need for supply. Truly unique is the idea that they set the stage for future negative behavior by greasing it with overwhelming kindness and generosity.
Yes!! He was such a great actor! All these years I knew he couldn't live me because I asked myself how could he love me and treat me like garbage? I was confused .one minute he was kind and the next not speaking to me and me asking what did I do?? Absolute insanity 😳
Thank you for your percise explanation of such dark and dangerous behaviour which very often sneaks up on one when one is vulnerable or going through some life challenge, only to show its real intent when the target makes a little personal progress and starts to regain ones energy and clarity .
The man I was with was such an actor. He'd seek and give physical affection towards me which to mean symbolizes a romantic connection. Meanwhile I was being used as a source of attention. He would not respect my boundaries. Yes, as you mentioned this is not true empathy.
You worded that well. Look at it this way. Everyone has their bad days. Everyone can be b!tchy at times, etc but then there is that fine line. Once that fine line is crossed then you know you're dealing with narcissistic personality disorder. Yes, it's all about the boundaries! Once they cross those boundaries it's a red flag. I believe that sometimes there are narcissists who come in these comment sections, because they're good at turning their disorder around on others. Or sometimes people mistaken a person as a narcissists when they're actually being too judgmental. But they way you worded your comment proves to me that you definitely dealt with a narcissist. "Meanwhile I was being used as a source of attention." Wow! You hit the nail on the head!
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
I experienced all of this and I am still working through my journey of healing . My experience has caused me to endure nightmares on almost a nightly basis although I can push most of what I experienced out of my mind during the day, I guess I have more work to do. I’m not sure if anyone else is plagued by nightmares during the healing process but if you are , you have my sympathy, loves. It isn’t easy trying to process it all. I’ve known him since I was 16 and now I’m 41 and finally I’ve seen the truth and am breaking free. 🦋 Thank you for your video.♥️🖤
By mirroring you! And that is why in the beginning they only boast about you, because they want to be like you. They will mainly be jealous of how good your parents are. And at some point they will be so miserable from realising how badly they were raised and from seeing how good your life is (or was before them) that they will snap and start to ruin your life. Suddenly they will only say negative things about everything you do because they are dying of jealousy.
She actually used to say many times that she wasn't a monster... and the fact you used that word was enough validation for me.. her actions are hideous, towards me and others, particularly those in service, airport staff, hotel staff, restaurant staff... i'm ashamed of myself to have been tied to someone with such nastiness hiding inside that would surface at the most random times
My daughter once told his narc father that he made her cry, then his father said he’s crying too. He really thought he could fool his daughter. It’s very damaging actually!!
This helped me understand behaviors of and things I've gone through with my soon-to-be ex-wife that I've been trying to figure out for YEARS. It makes so much more sense now, with her lack of emotional awareness. I always thought women were supposed to be more empathetic than men, but it was very much the other way around in our relationship.
I just had the sympathy/compassion conversation with my h. When I said that they were emotions and one had to choose when and how to display them he burst out laughing and said that was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. I said no. That knowing when and how to act on them was part of emotional maturity and self protection. He again laughed and walked out. Usual behavior. But I understood then that any empathy from him is an action he does that doesn’t come from an emotional root but from his head- the proper action that he thinks needs to be done. Thanks for making that even clearer for me
Yes I read another post by Anita24 and I concur. It is so twisted and convoluted it’s been terribly hard to crawl out of the web. I questioned wether I was the narcissist for some time. I still check in with myself and am grateful to know that my empathy is true and I now know that I am not a narcissist but the projection that happens during the relationship is almost like they are making you into them and they are trying to become you. Hope that makes sense. I can see a high light real now as I look back and numerous red flags and different moments that help to remind me of what is/was true and how the tangled web was made.
Mr. Bashir you explained this perfectly. Best I’ve ever heard. And thank you for such a perfect explanation and ending it with the conclusion that it’s not the victims fault for falling for it. I wish the police would take classes on this so that they have an insight on all aspects for domestic calls. In my experience the police was continually convinced and I would be arrested even thought the DA would drop it it would not matter because as a result of this I lost my pharmaceutical lic. Amongst other certifications. My point is, whoever out there is in a relationship with a narcissist get out because their ultimate goal is to suck u dry and if u don’t go along with them they will masterly cause u to lose your livelihood. U can not win. U will lose. Get out u must. And listen to Mr. Bashir he has done the best explanation you left nothing out. Thank you 🙏
No doubts sir.. This is one of your best episodes💯 and very helpful to them who are victims yet doubtful about their decision to leave expecting a positive change in the narcissist😢😢
OMG you are exactly right on with all that you said!!! No one would possibly understand if they had not experienced it for themselves. I experienced it and it's still absolutely unreal. I don't think the way they do so it was hard to believe that was what I was dealing with until a lawyer insisted that I run a CBI on my husband. I was not prepared for what I saw on that report. 6 pages of legal charges against him including attempted murder in the 1st degree and drugging a victim. It was all the things he did to his first wife!!! Domestic violence, ignoring protection orders, stalking, on and on. He was repeating his history then with me. It totally blew my mind. I started learning everything I could about covert narcissist. He gave my things away to people to try and look like a nice guy, never anything that belonged to him. What a nightmare. Thank you so much for clearly verbalizing exactly what they do to try and look normal.
This is the first video I’ve come across of yours. Of ALL of the hundreds I’ve viewed over the course of the last (almost) 3 years from psychologists/therapists/coaches etc., your video is THE BEST!! You articulated exactly what being with a covert narcissist is like. Immediately subscribed and saved this. Thank you
It's not your fault you got caught, however it's your responsibility to get out. Don't put up with abuse. Set clear and firm boundaries. It takes training though... Bit you can do it ! 👍
Wtf, this is the best channel about this theme and I am so grateful to find it today!! 🙏👍 It is all so true and well told everything around narcissists. Thank you so much. Very helpful and important video for me.
This is one of the most accurate description of the narcissistic person. It took me a long time not to feel stupid for marrying someone like this. Thank you so very much.
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
Thank you Danish! I am a good person, empathetic and normal! I am a human being who believes and trusts. I have been broken by narcissistic relationships! I am on my way to recovery and wholeness!!! Thank you for your ministry and inspiration!
Actually, and no offence to Danish, this topic has already been developed on UA-cam FOR many YEARS - and by many different therapists. Danish is quite late in bringing it. That said, I enjoy his contributions, which I generally find most useful.
Thank you for this vlog!!! There are good people, such as Dr. Ramani and Dr. Carter, and Yourself, who educate us, and, the more education you present from different people, we can also have more to absorb, , for the best Esp. as You *focus and go into detail, the *very important aspect of narcissism and psychopathy, where these "predators" are *VERY GOOD ACTORS. This aspect cannot overemphasized!! Thank you, again!!!
6:30 Narcissist here (at least i think i am, most of your descriptions from another video suits me): The most important thing about a lie is that there has to be always some truth in it. A lie works best if you put in something that the other person can test and something that the person cant test. For example: "Look, i make this cake for you (
Thank you to Mr.Danish for this clear explanation. I still feel unclear about myself, and where I stand in the spectrum of this dissorder. This is both applicable, as well as not a solid description of me and my family. This trait is very strong in my family. I try to forget about my narratives, but i know it plays a role in my own discord and dissonance. I try to see the good in the acts and intentions of my family members, whilst at the same time I try to attend to my wounds from their mistreatment. With all of this dynamics, I feel a cluster of emotions, and it manifests as anxiety and feeling unwell and unprepared for the day. I resort to my faith for maintenance, but sometimes it is flagging. So, I say that I will rest for now, but it would be denial to say that there is resolution. It is perpetual. Is it simply an unfortunate human condition, that we must give and take in experiencing real life? It seems like a trait more concentrated in my family than I would know about it existing in other people's family?! What is the take away from my life's experiences?! What does this life add to the scheme of human history? Aside from feeling maladapted, what is the gain or the goal, having lived my share of the bullying and being a bully myself?! Do you have a resource for my querry? Thank you, kindly.
I am in the same shoes as you! Went throughso much narc abuse all my life from age 0-29. At some point i was an empath but now i dont know who i am. I act in bitchy ways but i just want love and kindness from people. Only those closest to me know i am sweet.but those who dont really know me say i am acting or i am such a bitch. Also i am quiet most of the time, unapproachable even but people will say I am snobbish. Sometimes i think i should court the attention I get by doing something super drastic, posting it on social media and becoming and celebrity. But my weak heart can’t take bullying from more strangers. Note, i feel all my issues stem from how I look- i am not the hottest girl in the room, but I am fine. People who have picked on me were(are) women who look the opposite of me. If i looked like them i would get away with being the bullies they are. When i stand up to them I am considered rude. I lost myself-part of the reason i chose to be quiet and mind my own business
@@dinnerideas1626 You have a way of describing your thoughts, that I can so relate!! You are NOT alone, we have so much in common. I think it causes stress, and that brings us down. Perhaps, how we manage the stress that our history has caused us, should be our focus. How do we de-stress?! You sound like an awesome intellect!!! Thank you for sharing. Your words help me.
Wow, Thank you so much for this, it's disturbing to hear that these people feel nothing it's all an act, however this also helped me a great deal as unsettling as it is. Your videos are healing, thank you again.
also they treat different people differently, according to how much they need them & rely on them, so everybody has a different view of the narcissist,making it very hard for all to unite against the narcissist..espescially in family dynamics you have the scapegoat child, golden child, neglected child etc.. who are all treated differently & will fight each other over the narc..the old strategy of divide & conquer, unfortunately very effective in preventing the narcs exposure...
Hi Danish, I have been watching you for awhile now and love love love your shows. I have come to realize that my daughter is a narcissist big time. I never could pinpoint what her problem was, I thought she was just evil but you made me realize what it is. We had a blow out and I left her house vowing to NEVER GO BACK!!!! And I won't. But she is pulling her power over my grandkids and controlling them. They are all grown up and suffering from the mental anguish she causes them. I gave my gsons wife your info and she agrees that its what the mom is doing and he does not see it. I do think he is waking up to it. Hopefully he can work thru this and keep her at bay. The love boys have for their mom and loyalty will destroy them if they don't wake up. Thank you, I am so glad I do not deal with her anymore and I have been happy as ever. sorry for the long letter
Danish Bashir, thanks for the Educational podcast and support and of course they are false fake people I have been through Narcissistic drama and I know now what to look for in a relationship and for now I am going to remain single and independent and Retired and happier and have my own Schedule and stay focused on my life and aside from that I have set strong boundaries. Thanks GOD-BLESS.
For example the narc I ended up with was running marathons through a mega church he worked his way up through heirachry. Few months later I found out he had taken out credit cards in my name and ruined my credit...why would I think someone running for starving people in Africa would steal from me while calling himself the love of my life? Everything you describe is 100% spot on.
Thank you very helpful video. Please do a video explaining why they hate vulnerability and love. Why they have to hurt the ones who loves them. Why hold onto falsehood? Why does truth terrify them. Thank you
What were your experiences with this?
@@peterrobbins6691 that must have been really difficult for you to survive as a child. I have similar experiences! Sending a lot of love and healing ❤
My mom. Her mom. Her brother. 2 exes. I'm now the crazy cat lady who avoids most people and will probably die alone. Life is safer and more peaceful that way.
@@peterrobbins6691 Damn, I am a narcissist. I did same to my children. I regretted it later and tried apologizing. Wonder why I pass narc quiz.
@@peterrobbins6691 I never put my kids down but yelling and them watching their parents fight all time was enough trauma. Their grown and three don’t want kids. I’m praying that change and your situation changed or will.
If you are sensitive (enough) you will sense that a narcissist is fake and mimic emotions without feeling them. This is at least my own experience. Is a kind of a freak show ;) But I didn't know that this person was a narcissist. I just thought he was fake and kind hollow or shallow. Unpleasant to be with...
I wish the world would wake up to this. Most people don’t get it… the victims are mostly blamed and they continue their abuse 😣😣😢
That's true. My ex wife is a covert narcissist and she has successfully made me look like a criminal and took my kids away with a restraining order. She fooled the courts/police/every high authority with her manipulations.
It’s so sad and frustrating.
Unfortunately people will never get it until they are victims themselves and they start researching for themselves.
Political Narcissists -Spiritual War
I was a victim of my family, my ex, and then I finally realized my daughter was a covert narcissist, like her dad, last year after she had her baby and I helped her recover. I was so busy dealing with their behavior I had no idea what it was. She smeared me to her new family and I walked away devastated. I’ve recently recovered to the point that I know one of my biggest fears is how others see me. And that if I can get over these lies I’ll be so much better. So if they want to believe them, so be it. I’ll be the biggest supposedly abuser in my head and think how everyone hates me. Doing that has kind of numbed me to it. It’s not true, I was set up. So I can not care and go on knowing I don’t have to tear others down. The gift in this is I’m healing my dependency issues from childhood sexual and mental abuse. I stayed enslaved through everyone, including my daughter. My son has been the one to keep me sane because he’d call out her lies when i didn’t have the strength to.
They are EXTREMELY good at being charming, charismatic, “loving.” Being with a narcissistic is mind melting; you can’t get a grasp on reality, because they’re gaslighting you, and you end up questioning yourself. It’s a horrible state to be in. I hope to never be involved with another one in my lifetime!
Actually they are pretty easy to spot. But you are not as sensitive as me
@@ohgin12345 Some sensitive people have been desensitized to Narcissists due to being raised by them.
Thank you for this, it's validating to hear someone else say it for the first time. This is exactly how i feel, i can't seem to understand reality and I've been losing my mind rapidly, even more so since I had to depend on an abusive narcissist for financial reasons. I don't know what to do as i come from the same kind of family and i started running from then and ended up here so that's not an option ... there's no where else to go. I've lost all my friends,everyone who knew me i lost them to abusive relationships. And it's like I'm going crazy and blaming myself and shaming myself for everything.
Thank you so much for to wrote this, it somehow resonates in my f-ed mind. And this video, I'll have to watch this everyday before i go mad and become who they are.
Yes it really messes me up. Now when a man is sincerely nice to me and i am scared i am being gaslit and played with. I try not to think like that though, i try to not let my past ruim my future. I want to trust this man. The only solution is to be aware of any real red flags and to run as soon as I dont like it anymore or if there is any drama. Once you accept the possibility of ending up alone, you don't accept bad behaviour of anyone anymore. Same with jobs. Become a little (financially) independent and you can always run. In relationships it is the same. Have an emotional bank account with an emotional reserve so you always have the mental strength to be alone. It is as easy as accepting that life is doable on your own too.
Agreed! My neighbor, who had become a close friend, was the ultimate chameleon. She could be the kindest, sweetest, most generous and giving person you could ever meet. It took a while for her ugly side to come out, but when it did, it was awful. I’m so glad to be free of that now.
But she’s definitely a tricky one. Took me a long time to realize what was wrong.
That confusion you feel with a narcissist is one of the first ways I use to spot them now. When their character perplexes me I know there is a personality disorder present. When you’re left wondering: are they deceptive, evil, passive aggressive or do they not realise what they’re doing? ALARM BELLS! 🔔
An ex co-dependent will be less than enthusiastic about getting into too many details about who they are with someone they've just met, they may even throw you a few curve balls if they see you as prying. Cluster Bs generally have a wide eyed stare they do when they're trying to mirror you, anyone who seems to be paying lots of attention to people's facial expressions is a red flag. If they aren't interested in you they are the people that seem always busy, on their phones but never seem to accomplish much, this is the "see how I'm so important and the centre of attention" act.
Yes same! Cognitive dissonance (felt as confusion) is my big indicator of a personality disorder.
Wow! I'll remember this.
Yup and the wierd anxiety you feel around them
My wife is one and didn't even know.....I've been with her for 29 yrs......What a waste....Smfh.....Really don't know what to do
ACTORS - Duped me at age 19....the knight in shining armor. Married quickly. Nightmare started as soon as we moved into our apartment. Treated me as if he was still single. It escalated from there for 30 years of trying to hold our marriage together.
Don't waste your life, like I did. Get out right away.
Never too late. Duped me at age 20, he was my best male friend. Acted single uncover for years and stopped hiding it. After all, he said marriage is nothing but a piece of paper several times. I should’ve known better. Best wishes
I pray they get out quickly and quietly. Can’t put anything pass a narcissist.
Wow, so sorry you had to go through that, I hope all is well for you now. Keep spreading your experiences people need to understand how these demons are on a path of destruction. Stay encouraged & be safe❤
Yes, the problem is not that we are staying as our own fault, but it's because we, usually, are young and do not have sufficient information. If I know now what I had know then, when I was much younger, I would have given away for adoption,
what turned out to be a sleaze, and NEVER had come anywhere near that sub human family. So many of us have wasted much of our lives because we did not have the vocabulary, and know the concepts that we know now.
@@meredithheath5272 I was raised by a Narc. I got married young to escape from her...only to marry a Narc. I couldn't go back home.
If you want to take the mask off these people. Disagree with them, challenge what they say or think(does not even need to be overtly confrontational) dont go along w their status quo. The contrast between how a narc reacts and a non narc is blatantly obvious
Play reverse psychology on them and they can not handle it. It can be fun at times
Same thoughts here…Sam Vaknin says one way to remove narcissist from ur life is by mortifying their grandiose ego by disagreeing n confronting them for their abuse.👍
You are so on point. As long as I smile and do what my parents ask me then they are semi-fine. I mean semi-fine because they still treat me like I have some ulterior motive and I am out to hurt them and people in general. Basic projection. But if I was to flat out say “no” to anything the masks come off and the dehumanization and put downs begin. They are smiling one moment and the next they are raaaaaaaging. Just going off on you, tearing down your character and whatever else they think will hurt you. And I am almost 49. I live on the other side of a very big country than them, but with social media and phones in general they can pop a little probing message on your phone screen whenever they want. They used to leave notes on the kitchen counter for me when I would wake up in the morning before school. The notes would tell me how I intentionally hurt them in some way. One night I was tired from school and fell asleep in bed without saying goodnight. When I woke up the next and came downstairs there was a note for me on he kitchen counter table. “By going to bed without saying goodnight you are telling us to F**k Off.” They then continued to give me the silent treatment and treated with disdain for the entire week because of it. I had to bow my head and apologize for telling them to apparently F Off…… Made me think all people were like this and if you didn’t follow all social norms to the letter than people had a right to treat you like garbage because so obviously you are.
💯💯💯
I'm afraid that does not work: Many times, they'll "double down". That's what happened in my case; and their behavior got far worse.
I must have been dealing with a near full blown psychopath...
What's painful is realizing that my father is this person, and that my mother has lost more than forty years of life striving to win his love and approval, he started a lifelong affair with a close relative and there's this constant, ever present threat that we, the adult children will eventually "know." He uses this relative as a control lever, getting my mom to agree to everything he does, to automatically jump to his defense whenever others put their foot down, and worse of all to be an accomplice in his manipulative activities or lie on his behalf. I've made a conscious decision not to ever marry, after having observed this appalling dynamic. After forty-plus years of trying to survive in this twisted family system of smoke and mirrors, I believe the least I deserve is some peace with a cat on my lap.
I’m in the same position as you at 43 years old. I’m trying to get away from this dysfunctional family.
M
♥
I’m so sorry reading this 😢
Your mom needs alot of support, to get away ASAP and the hand of God.
Thrust your intuition.-
Question them.
Take your time.
They will show you their real self.
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
It is complex and have so many elements to it, its twists and turns all the way. Trying to understand and tell others about the narcissist is nearly impossible. The trail of human suffering surrounded the narcissist should be a tell tell sign. Mental illness, drug addictions and more. The devil in disguies.
So on point ❤
I agree it's so frustrating trying to tell someone about being in a relationship with a narc they look at you like your the crazy one I just don't bother speaking to anyone about it now.
When I first discovered their "level of existence" I felt like my last vestiges of innocence had been destroyed, I felt sullied, dirty. It takes a long time to get over that feeling. I can see why some would want to deny it exists, there's no going back once you acknowledge it, it's a long road that takes a lot of psychological and dare I say spiritual energy to get through. Many would prefer just to ignore it, it's their life, their journey. When they are ready, they'll listen.
Well said! heartbreaking stuff.
“The trail of human suffering surrounding the narcissist should be a tell-tale sign”. Well said and so true!
I was in a narcissistic relationship for two and a half years. Still trying to recover a year later. Horrifying to realize everything was a lie. I wish other people could see the real him.
In the same boat homie. This recovery is rough
Me too! 3.5 years of my life gone in a whirlwind of drama and anxiety. So tired but also so relieved to be without him.
@@hopethisworks33 it's like they Average 3-4 years for relationships . From what I have seen in most comments. Mine was four years long
❤️❤️❤️
I was in A narc relationship 6years, now my ex moved to Paris and has completely discard me even tho We spend last 3years plannig to go together Paris.. .. i have never felt pain Like this. Everything i believed in was A lie. Im still deeply in love for this moran.. everyday taking baby steps to get over him. I wish all much love who knows what its like❤️
Great video.
I fell for the narcissist's charms and love bombing. It wasn't until years of pain and self work when I realized that I was codependent and that is what the narcissist used to draw me in. Further work on myself led me to realize that I was raised by narcissistic parents, so i missed the red flags which other people could see. A very painful but necessary revelation.
Exactly my story. I've had two narcissistic husband's. The first was 14 years to an overt malignant narcissist, (at the time we were married and even up until my second marriage ending, I didn't know the label for what he was or all the craziness). I didn't take time to heal or get counseling and I rekindled with a guy who was my first love when we were young. It seemed like a fairytale. I thought He was the opposite of my ex. He was EXACTLY like my first husband, but a covert narcissist. Exactly the same, just hiding beneath a mask of kindness and love. It took me 13 years (married to #2) to figure both of them out. It took me six months after I figured it out and confronted husband #2 to leave. He admitted everything. He had no sympathy, empathy or guilt about anything, in fact he couldn't even love. (His words) Now I'm 9 months away from him. I've realized that I am codependent (Self-love deficit disorder) and was raised by 2 narcissists.
That's what most victims don't want to see or acknowledge; we fell into the trap due to our childhood traumas because for an empathetic person who has been "trained" to be codependent is the hardest thing to admit and that is that your mom/dad or maybe both, never loved you.
Exactly my life
It helped me to realize that he had multiple women on dating apps etc and chats and online sex plus he ruined me almost financially. Then it was easier to leave the liar.
It is difficult to accept that you have wasted so many years because you ignored red flags. Me too.
"They believe their own lies. That explains it all." Very true. Or it might be more accurate to say they *want* to believe their own lies. At some deep level they know they are lying, but the lies they tell other are always constantly running through their own minds. They lie to themselves at least as much as they lie to others.
You might enjoy studying lies and deception 🙂 lol
(you'll find that your description...fits nearly EVERYONE)
Because this type of lying isn't a "they/their" thing -- It's an "us/our" thing.
_Meaning that description fits you, me, and nearly everyone reading this._
I don't think they do unless I was with a psychopath
@@NeonCicada We all have blind spots, however, the ones who self-examine and truly bear witness to the painful truth about themselves as flawed creatures in need of God's redeeming power, those people can stop living in denial. (Didn't even know I was lying to myself). So I do not accept your definition as applying to everyone in the world. It is possible, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to live a life pursuing truth and goodness. It means battling and defeating our fallen nature. There's your sermonette for the day. God loves you very much.
& WOULD U BELIEVE MINE " READS THE BIBLE " EVERYDAY = CRAZY !!! [ Oct 3, 2022 ]
@@louiseevans5752 Jesus told His disciples that not everyone who says, "Lord, Lord, did we not cast out demons in your name?" will enter the kingdom of Heaven. IMO we cannot judge the state of another's soul. We are totally responsible for our own soul and what we do in this life with the gifts God gives us. It is best just to release the N into God's hands. It is maddening at times to witness hypocrisy in your face regularly, but in the long run, there will be justice.
Shalom.
So very true. Especially the bit about - you have to live with them to know what they are really like. My father was a narcissist, most likely a malignant narcissist. And he did my head in in a way that still at 53 I am dealing with the fall out. It unfortunately changed the course of my life at a young age and left me grappling with his problems transplanted into me. Their ability to lie outright with utter conviction is amazing. But I also learnt some things about them. They are vacuous people, they are empty and almost ‘devour’ other people’s energy and will and personality. They innately view others around them as ‘objects’ to be manipulated for their gain. A partner, or a child is simply another appendage to them or a trophy to reflect their own delusional self view - the Grand Lie they have told themselves from a long time ago. I believe this starts early in life and is set before the age of about 10 years old. Their actions towards their siblings, friends and work colleagues slowly reveal who they are. But you would need to know them intimately to connect the dots to all the behaviours and incidents. When you first meet a narcissist and you experience that ‘glow of attention; they give you - just remember - you are like a rabbit in headlights and they wish to devour/consume/control whatever it is about you they desire. And usually this is something that equates to an insecurity or something they lack, or something the perceive will greatly support their own deluded story of self. And when their new favourite ‘focus/toy/interest/appendage’ does not dance as the narcissist wants them to (or they stop fulfilling the narcissistic need), then they turn their wrath and complete destruction upon that person who has ‘let them down/attacked them’ as they perceive it. They really perceive anyone NOT dancing to thier tune as a personal act to destroy them. This is the truth and why I say they are ultimately weak and vacuous. But this also makes them dangerous as they are devoid of any empathy and see things through a lens of destroy or be destroyed. What they perceive as destruction is actualy the truth/feedback combing to them about their dysfunctional personalities. And this contradicts the Great Delusional Lie they have repeated as a mantra to themselves and everyone around them -about themselves. My advice - if you happen to meet and befriend someone who is a narcissist - if you feel love bombed at first, but then more and more controlled (ex access to friends, past activities you used to enjoy) AND you find yourself questioning yourself as being in the wrong with every issue you bring up with your partner - run don’t walk. Get out of their orbit even for a few days and spend time with someone who knows you well and discuss…for those born under a narcissist - this is much harder. All I can say from my personal experience is this: Give up on achieving ANY kind of resolution/understanding with your narcissistic parent. They will live and sleep much happier than you and will never lose a moment of worry, thinking about how you have been affected and if they were in any way responsible. They will genuinely think YOU are being narcissistic and tell everyone a story of how they are so worried about you. They will NEVER see anything but their own POV and story. Any tears they yr or sympathy they express is just another method to flip the script and ‘win’ by manipulating you again. Unfortunately..I tried to talk with my father for many years. And he would talk - but once in all those years I managed to drag him kicking and screaming (emotionally) to the truth of his actions and for a second I saw the madness, the emptiness and the panicked terrified fear flash across his eyes and I realised - no matter what I said - he cannot acknowledge this - it would destroy him. And so he passed away peacefully a few years later. In his own strange way he still wanted me to be apart of his life, as long as I fit in to what he wanted. I had made my point over the years - and he knew and I knew every time our eyes met. But he never changed, and never changed his ‘story, Grand Lie’ to others right up to the end. My advice would be - however you can - get out, live your life. Your empathy and feelings for your nacisstic abusive parent are keeping you trapped within their orbit. And they will never change.
@chrisraphel7194 ... Wow - a lot of words... but a lot of Truth. Very sad and serious situation.
Truth! I"m praying my daughter gets to this point sooner than later. She is 15 and I left 3 years ago. SHe sees it but still stuck in the he is my dad. She cannot stand going to where he lives but then feels that child guilt. She knows he doesn't treat them appropriately but I feel everytime he does better she gets her hopes up. I know he is not going to change because I stayed married 15 years. Its a hamster wheel. Glad you came into the truth.
When the mask falls you don't understand the cognetive dissonance that occurs and your justifications starts.The gut feeling that something is off is my biggest lesson and sign that I have learned to listen to.Thank you Danish for your video 🙏
Hilde Solstrale Aksnes,You look cute 🥰,Hope you are not with a narcissist….
Narcissists are deeply unhappy, and if you are close to them you feel it. Even more so when it's a parent. You feel sorry for them and want to reach out and help them. But the fact that yu are so strong that you can actually offer them help only makes them hate you more. - You need to realize that there is nothing you can do to make them happier, more stable persons. Maybe there is something that can be done, but assuredly not by you, because you are their victim.
The confusion was almost constant. He presented such a great facade and really worked to maintain the image. I occasionally would see things that were very weird and now I know that was when the mask would slip. Because I was so invested emotionally and thought I was in love, I was always able to reconcile within myself. truly a parasite. It’s unbelievable the manipulation that happens. Mind control
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
Those weird moments are key. The lack of empathy and emotion, the dark eyes.
They are masters at being chameleons. They adapt and change shape, colour and behaviour depending on who they're with. That's why you often hear neighbours and friends of serial killers say: "Oh I never suspected anything. He/she seemed like such a likeable, quiet and peaceful human being. I'm in absolute shock!". You will only see their 100% true colours when you are in close proximity to them for longer periods of time.
💯💯💯💯👏👏👏
Mine had everyone thinking I was insane. I was just trying to have boundaries.
That's why narcs keep their distance from those who are not within their inner circle. Friendships, and so on, are artificial. You can never get to know them too transparently. But for those within their inner circle, they see the true colors.
ABSOPHUCCNLUTLY🎯🎯🎯
@@missminti omg yes !
My ex narcissist had me fooled. He presented himself as this great person but it was all a lie. Once the mask slipped off, I saw his true colors. I have been no contact with him for 6 months now. Best thing I ever did. Finally healing. Great video! Thank you
Narcissists' nightmare is the truth seeker and speaker...
You are so right on in your videos. Very straight forward great information about the sneaky narcissist. My “mom” is one and my dad committed suicide 30 years ago because of her and his own narcissist mother. He married his mom. She fakes being nice when others are around but can’t stand it when anything good happens in my life or the life of others. It’s a hard life to have a narcissistic mother. Thank you for your wonderful videos!
I am basically that guy. Only I didn't end myself. 20 year marriage. I did think about it several times. I didn't know that a person could end up as destroyed as I have been. Go from confident, loving, empathetic, and caring to almost completely bitter, resentful, and raging just like her. If you spend enough time with them you almost swap personalities with them. Just recently I am feeling a great deal more empathy and even laughing. I was so caught up in the F.O.G. that could not enjoy anything. God is the only reason I made it through alive. Gratitude is the best antidote for where I have been. Thanks for reading. God bless.
Someone else said something interesting: Many times, you can discern that a family, or some family members are sick and suffering from toxic abuse. Look around - do you see some family members are drug addicts, and/ or alcoholics, or have sex addictions, etc...? Stay away from that family, then.
I wish I had known this tip.
@@rexbennett7414 I’m so sorry. I’m so happy you didn’t end your life. 🙏🏼 I used to feel guilty for even thinking these things about my so called mom until I started realizing it’s NOT me. Stay strong. God rewards us for pushing forward. Love and light to you.
@@rexbennett7414 Glad that you survived that abuse, and came out on the other side.
Take care 💝
@@meredithheath5272thank you.
Thank you for reminding me that I'm not a fool for falling for the same shit over and over. That's the worst part of this.
I am not trying to offend you here, but we must look at ourselves why we keep falling into the same trap, somewhere there is blindness, usually because you are possibly a co-dependent, you may have also had a narcissistic parent who was borderline or milder form. Because I met both kinds, the extreme narcissist and the borderline less extreme who even hurt themselves by alcoholism. and wasn't trying to always hurt or control me. He did but was not constant. or extreme.
Empaths are fools for falling for abuse over and over. I am an empath. The abuse didn’t stop until I made it stop. People treat us the way we let them. My daughter is the covert abuser. I’ve decided that I no longer need her in my life. It only took three months to come to this decision. Having no daughter is way better than a covert narcissist for a daughter.
As an Infj I always knew something was off. I should have stuck with my gut and not waste time on somebody that is unreachable. 😑
They mirror/copy and mock your empathy.
To me, they're just straight liars. Horrible human beings, in my opinion. My ex is a malignant narcissist and always used his fakeness and charm to get over on people.
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
Mirroring and mimicking is a dead give away in my personal experience...
Yes when they copy its so obvious and funny
It's frightening, I just had to work with a guy who was super charming to me and started mirroring my laugh and the way I talk. It caught me off guard
@@ashleykathryn9038 tbf some people are taught to do that in weird business seminars. Because there's a study that shows people naturally mirror people and it's a sign of connection. But obviously when a narcissist or someone "learning" to be more charming try it and it comes off really odd.
Even people who aren't narcissists I've noticed will learn jokes. Sometimes people who struggle with socialising and it's so obvious that they learnt it. But in that case it's weirdly nice they're trying...
But yeah, definitely know what you mean, and it makes me instantly suspicious, especially in a business work setting.
When they have all the same experiences and they really get you, Red Flag.
Narcissists are such good actors .. sometimes i feel they should win Oscar for best acting
Yes, I've always said he should been a actor, because he would get a Oscar award 👏 🙄.
Actually their acting is not that great. Ppl are generally stupid that's all
Right
When I called my father out on a big lie, he'd look at me as if he was very wounded, and say "May God forgive you!" (he was anti religeous), and continue to lie straight faced. - You're so right. They really do believe their own lies!
No they are not. Because they cannot feel their true inner self and that feels clingy and inauthentic to people, who are in contact with themselve. It´s all fake und presentation mode, they are perfect sales people. Real good actors need empathy for their played character like a baker needs flour, because without it, they cannot interpret a role convincingly enough. Best example, Amber Heard, she wants the success, glamour and fame but poor acting skills. Marvellous actor Anthony Hopkins, humble and wonderful human being.
Thank you for all you do. It's so much more than a personality disorder it's is evil we are dealing with.
You're right, this is not a personality disorder. When their eyes go pitch black, there is something else in them. Something that acts human, but it's not!
It's a demon.
So what else do we know about demons: they're fearful, so, they bluff, but they're scared little children, which is sad, and secondly, they need our consent. This has helped me so much. I don't fear them, I have compassion for their suffering, and I don't consent to be around that.
Thank's, good summary! So accurate about their lack of empathy, fake persona, victimhood, lies, etc. Behind the mask is a very evil person!!
My abusive narcissistic ex was obsessed with 'the power of attraction' described in The Secret (book/dvd). He believed that if you believe something strongly enough, it becomes a reality. Now I understand how he was able to come to the point of believing his own lies- it was a strategy, and it served him well for a while. I don't think these people will ever come clean. They're so invested in their fabricated reality that it would feel like death to tell the truth- the real, vulnerable truth.
I was discarded a year ago. In one of our last conversations he had revised our history, forgot WHO he was speaking to, and spewed his lies out to me! I couldn’t believe my ears. When I confronted him, he said it was his perception. What a loser.
I had a similar scenario happened to me with my ex narcissist. He basically was telling me what he told other people about our relationship and break up and I was astounded at how different his story was from mine. When I said something he said that's was his take on it in his mind! Which is true but I couldn't believe how it was so 360 opposite from my experience! That's why they never grow and change because they stay stuck on stupid.
@Mihaela Liptcheva-Ivanova they fully believe their own BS. You know they’ve been repeating it when they say it so convincingly to you! When they’re contradicted, they are truly in disbelief. It’s an amazing thing to watch…mental illness 101 on full display.
Narcissists are always losers, living in a cage of hatred and envy... They live in their own personal hell. Their mind is their own damnation
@mihaelaliptcheva-ivanova119mine was gaslighting me from 3 months in, maybe earlier. I was too naive
You mean they're so nuts they'll call you by their exes name and not even correct themselves? Or if it's the "dad" he'll call you his wife's name. Certified nuts and sickos.
The lies are so dangerous, he told me he was abroad in another European country, but when I called his number there was no international dial tone, it’s was still registered to our country dial sound, when I confront him, nicely, he raged and started to throw the proverbial kitchen sink at me to put me off course. To this day, I never got a proper explanation. We parted…… the lies are so damaging and it’s hard to get over
And that’s why he raged - you found him out . Typical child-like response . You weren’t dealing with an adult and well done on breaking up . It may not seem like it now but you’ve dodged a bullet and saved yourself from years of this behaviour.
Was on a weekend away with him and caught him on his phone chatting up another woman. I immediately packed and insisted on going home. He accused me of overreacting and ruining the weekend.
Same here. The child like behavior rage/tantrum is crazy. My ex never told me why either but I got my own closure as I educated myself about narcissistic abuse. He never existed. It was all a lie
They think they’re international man of mystery...🙄
@@pyarkaaloo More like international man of 💩
Thank you so much for your explanation of this disorder/demonic mess that we're starting to recognize more and more. Believe me when I tell you, when you encounter this with church leaders, in various positions, titles, it's on a totally different level. It's scary, painful!
.
Tell a narcissist he's got a direct position under god and you have something pretty dangerous on your hands!
Seeing the leaders now
It does have qualities of demonic oppression for sure. However, people who claim to follow Christ are SUPPOSED to allow the Spirit of God to transform them from the inside out. Narcs do not let that happen, so they act well for the public, but in private you get to see who they really are. It is very common for Narcs to gravitate to "spiritual" environments and hide out there, quietly abusing and controlling others. Ever hear this: Street angel, house demon?
You're description is correct! If people really knew what's inside and driving the narcissist smh.
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
Unfortunately after all the abuse; the rest of the tribe literally bury us alive. We actually are left alone; totally abandoned by all. It’s such a painful journey. 💔😓😭
Delvina , hi , yes I understand your pain. Me and Jesus are here for you. ❤️🙏🏻✨
I'm afraid this is more common than many think. I have gone through this, as well.
I hope you are young, so that you will never have to go through this again, because you now, have been educated, as I have been.
Same situation now
Yes that's exactly how it plays out. The narc parent smears you under the guise of fake "concern" your entire life, long before you awaken. Then when you awaken, you try to expose this sub human devil and you are summarily judged "crazy" and dropped by all like a sack of steaming 💩. It is an absolute Machiavellian nightmare to go through and no one understands, not even your spouse or close friends (if you have any, which I didn't only my husband). They turn everyone against you secretly long before you know what's happening. But hindsight is 20/20. Looking back to family gatherings and how extended family acted strange around you, almost nervous and avoidant, staring at you from across the room as though you had mustard all over your chin or acting as though you were invisible and not worth their time, barely acknowledging you, or acting over the top fake, so much so that even you notice something is amiss with these people. It is witchcraft. Witchcraft is manipulation of the minds of other people. It's like being Rosemary in the horror flick Rosemary's Baby or Carrie in the horror movie "Carrie"...
I feel you
Hi, I'm a narcissistic abuse victim and survivor..I experienced it with my mother predominantly, and some other members of the family, as well (my brother turned out to be her "upbringing" of a narcissist)..it was quite a hellride, but now I managed to set my boundaries, and I am not at all afraid to be "mean" to her, and express my views and feelings, although she doesn't comprehend them at all..my way of going on with my life is not to interact with her about serious matters, and keep the meeting occasions at the lowest number..I now am a healthy adult, and am not afraid of having a family of my own..I know I'd be a different kind of mother, as I can be a good "mother" to myself.. thanks for the helpful video..
Hi dear. I too suffered because of narc mom. Luckily I went to hostel for education n started healing.My dad was my big support. Then married n was happy for 3 years, then found hubby is a narc too. Suffering since 15 years
@@ruksananajmi6957 Thanks for sharing this, and I'm sorry to hear that..I almost went downhill with my relationships, too, but it was when I came across Christ's truth that I got really saved and healed by His grace..when He heals, and helps in our marriages, that's for real..that's why I didn't want to lean on my own understanding, and figure out who my husband should be, but I totally rely on Him to show me..this is the way this cycle of narc "curses" gets broken..wishing you all the best and all the strength..what worked for me is the realization that it was not my fault, and I set clear and firm boundaries (I allow this but that ain't gonna happen)..
THIS IS 100000000000% ACCURATE. I WAS MARRIED TO A NARCISSIST WITH ASPERGERS! A COMBO FROM HELL. I've only realized this after our divorce where she has now alienated my 2 boys from me. I was confused for 16 years. She ticked all the boxes but I always felt depressed around her. Like I was being slowly being boiled alive. Her words rang hollow. Her apologies meant nothing. She made me feel like I was the bad one. When you meet a narcissist RUN for your life. They're nothing but energy vampires. They will destroy you!!!!!!
They want what you possess, what your qualities are, your status, etc. the core problem as I see it is envy, which can quickly run its course along the continuum: envy, anger, hatred, violence and destruction. There is no external remedy as the problem is empirically personal and spiritual in nature.
You summed it up so well. Thank you. I used to own a yoga studio, which is a haven for lost and broken souls. I had several students who became teachers who became enemies within my business, and I think you said it perfectly. They wanted what I had, and when I didn’t give it to them, they had to destroy me. Ironically, the weaponized word of choice was to accuse me of being “controlling,” because I wouldn’t allow them to control me. It’s been 2 years since I closed my business and I’m still grieving and recovering.
Yeah I used to do certain things to make him see I was worthy .. 2 minutes later getting the dogsht beat out of me smh
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
Thank you for the kind words at the end, because you do being to wonder if there is something serious inept within for putting up and not seeing things for how they really are, it’s takes a long time to honestly admit the abuse happened, damage is done and healing will be long term, all because I trusted and genuinely loved another person
I am glad that you find those words helpful
The victims must be isolated at all cost because the truth might be exposed.
Spot on!A lot of these jerks would be jailed!
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
Thank you for this video! You are so on point! Wow!!! Every word you've said describes someone that's in my life right now and for the most part it feels like Im in a relationship with two different people....its the weirdest thing and if alcohol is added...the monster does come out....
I am glad to hear that you were able to relate
Yes they have multiple personalities and some kind of addiction (s). Drugs, sex, porn, alcohol, perversion of all kinds. Run for your life.....🏃
@@yeswing10 yes a 100 percent
I had an awareness about why I married a narc. Both my parents were narcs and I was a codependent people pleaser. I was so attracted to him and relentless In being with him. I wanted the liar. Even when this leopard showed me his spots I didn’t care. I overlooked the obvious. I was delusional and desperate to be loved by the devil. I REFUSED to see the truth and I paid a heavy price for calling evil good. I didn’t seek good hearted people. I was conditioned/programmed to seek the devil’s false love. I didn’t want authentic vulnerable people. I wanted the liar. I wanted to believe the lies. I was attracted to false and dangerous people. People who hated me. That’s what maybe subconsciously I thought I deserved. He wanted to be hated too. Subconsciously these people loathe themselves too. We were just playing out the toxic dynamics of our family of origin. I’m done fighting I’ve made peace with myself and the narc. Now that I allowed God’s grace to show me my role in this mess the game was over. Praise you Jesus. The truth really did set me free. I’m no longer a victim. I’m an over comer. ❤️👍 I’m totally in control of myself and I no longer fear the narc. I used to be out of control and terrified of the lying narc. Not anymore I’m free and we’re decent friends now. Very nice to each others it’s miraculous. I hope my testimony of self awareness helps someone. ❤
Self hatred and lack of feeling worthy is what attracts them, so easy for a victimizer then to grab hold. I believe in past lives (I still respect it if someone doesn't but I do) and I saw a past life where I had a dad who blamed me for the death of my little brother. he only loved his son, not me and never let me forget how horrible I was. I was a kid and he drowned but I was blamed and I left that life feeling guilt and that I was unworthy of being loved.
I had several lifetimes where I carried this pattern forward and never healed it. Finally, I was born to my current parents and long story short, I was reborn to someone who agreed with my feelings of not being worthy and that I was "bad" and so on. Like attracts like so to speak, water seeks it's own level. Although I do not expect anyone to agree with me, it is my experience, it explains a lot for me, how we are conditioned and because we expect it then, it is "familiar" for us so we are in agreement that this is all we deserve.
It all comes down to a lack of Self love, and ignorance. What saved me this lifetime was I met a man who turned me onto meditation and I was so desperate to try anything, that I did it. I still do it. Everyday. It saved my life many times over. But It has not been easy to turn my life around. I was so willing to "die" for my sins but to suffer a lot to make up for my "crimes". I was so guilt ridden.
I had to face myself which takes courage. I had to stop hating myself and I only did this when I discovered that the 2nd commandment said, "LOVE OTHERS AS YOU DO YOUR SELF" the emphasis was on the AS YOU DO YOUR SELF. I never knew that so it gave me permission to start to let go of hating myself. So, Self forgiveness, knowing God is my real parent and not my mother helped enormously. I can keep identifying with Who I Am, that I am a Child of God, worthy and deserving of love, safety, being valued and to know that I am worthy to receive. I am still working on this everyday. I stay out of relationships because I am still susceptible to "trying to make others happy at the expense of myself".
But it's not easy to reverse lifetimes of habitual patterns of feeling that you don't deserve to have anything, let alone live. But it has to be done. Sooner or later, you have to face your Self.
So I feel for everyone on here as I understand and I am so utterly grateful that we now know this exists and that we aren't insane and we really aren't just "bad people" who know we really didn't do anything but still got blamed for everything and made to feel we are losers in life and cursed. I certainly did.
So thank you Danish, I really appreciate and I resonate with your insights, how you explain things and how you don't pull any punches. I like that. I guess it comes from knowing what it feels like. No one ever validated me or believed me one iota growing up. Never, not once. And thank you guys for sharing your stories too. God bless us all to heal completely, because we deserve to be loved too.
Freedomofspeech: Yes your testimony is helpful and I too had the same help from Jesus. Thank you for sharing.
My ex narcissist told me a lot of details about his past which was very dark. He also told me stories of where he was a real asshole to other people. But because of his demeanor and the way he told these truths about himself he didn't seem to be the type of person to do those things. So he told me who he was and I didn't believe him. Being a nice person myself I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Also I witnessed him crying a few times. I was very confused with Where I stood with this individual. And the bottom line was that I never felt loved, valued or appreciated. I mostly feel used manipulated and taken for granted.
Your ex and my husband must be twin brothers because they're exactly the same.
@@Merlin0426 they are the same. We all are or were with the same demon in human flesh. Im serious. This is a spiritual war. This is no coincidence. The same characteristics no matter the age or way they were brought up. Its the devil in them.
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
@@Merlin0426 or she's like that
Thank you. This came at the perfect time. I’ve questioned myself repeatedly for four years. Now I look back in disbelief that my boyfriend is not real. All of it was fake. It’s called a “mental mind f🔴ck”.
How will I ever know the difference between a real person and a narcissist’s dysfunction? I don’t want to go through this again. He’s ruined my entire life.
I completely understand but only someone who has experienced will “get it”. You’re not alone . My life has also been ruined ) been destroyed by him. Strange strange people.
To put it in one sentence: Connect with yourself, build your self-worth and good boundaries, you will become narcissist proof
I learn that 14 years relation was faked, she was faked. Now i see that me and the kids were only tools for her. As of a year out of the relation she already had 2 new supply and i see she use people for her own purpose.
The answer is below byDanish . Work on yourself , listen to your gut. Work out what makes you happy and unhappy when dealing with people - and align with those where you feel safe . And put boundaries up with others - they tend to remove themselves from you once you know who they are .
I too feel this way. How to trust again is the biggest issue I am facing now. Hang in there. You will never be alone in this there are many of us in the same boat. Places like this channel are the kind of places that we can communicate honestly without being called crazy for sharing. Even though after the abuse we have been through we actually are kinda of crazy. God bless us all.
Was caught up in a narcissistic friendship which sucked all my energy. My happy day would be destroyed by gaslighting. I was in a state of imbalance and confusion and hated that feeling. But when I want to stop being friends, then the narcissist would turn on the charm and I would think that I was imagining all the bad things and it is all my fault for every argument. I was labelled as funny or crazy. He would laugh when I was triggered and lost my temper. Now I am stronger. I don't think it was a wasted four years. Because I have learnt to be strong enough to leave. There are things I regret but I put it down as lessons learnt.
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
I was raised in a fullblown narc family as a scapegoat. I find you videos the most helpful on the UA-cam, really genious!! Thank You!! 💯×💯%% the TRUTH!! Best of the best!!
I just froze in shock listening to you speak. It's as if you knew everything I have been through my whole life! I was raised by a narc mother and was married to a Narcissistic abuser who who isolated me from my support system and when i wanted a divorce, the abuse got worse and worse to the point where I was fearing for my life and could not talk to anyone about it at all. I finally got out and have been in therapy since because my normal meter was so broken from my childhood itself. It is so true , the lies and the false narratives that was spread about me but in the end , I know the truth now and I am grateful that I escaped with my life.
Thank you for calling narcs monsters. Very appropriate
Thank you for this. Its amazingly validating and comforting to hear you put the lies of the narcissist so clearly and concisely. For all of us who have lived under the constant confusion of the abusive narcissist, it's like hearing someone boldly declare that the Emperor has no clothes on. So liberating~
When my ex husband started to get tired of the whole family thing he started arguments, accused me of being a bad mother, spread rumors all around town and internet that I abused my 2 girls. I could tell how people looked at me they believed him. A neighbor told me, and they believed him, that I abused my daughter when what I did was make her sit on the stairs for hitting her sister but he created another story. A friend of mine said she heard from the town office that we were divorced and we weren't. He became so abusive and scary, I had to leave with my 2 daughters and get a restraining order, but everyone believed him that I was the abuser because he is such a "nice" guy and so helpful to everyone even as he left his family and had little to do with his children, but of course no one could blame him because I was so bad. Funny how he abandoned his children leaving me to deal with it all. People are DUMB and it's maddening.
I experienced the same identical thing. My narcissistic ex got tired of being married, started the smear campaign on me telling everyone I was the abuser and terrible mother. People ran to his side offering condolences. Keep in mind he never kept a job, I was the stable parent with a master’s degree, I won full custody in court, because he refused to come to court to take a drug test this was reversed by him as me keeping the child away and I’m the devil. I don’t care to explain myself to people that believe him and sympathize with him if he was a great father he would have showed up to court. He doesn’t pay child support, yet he comes to my daughter’s volleyball games uninvited and snap photos as if they have a great relationship and post them on his Facebook page. These people are simply crazy.
THIS VIDEO DESCRIBES NARCISSISM IN A NUTSHELL...VERY WELL PRESENTED....
WHEN SOMEONE SHOWS YOU WHO THEY REALLY ARE, BELIEVE THEM THE FIRST TIME....
This entire time I was trying to figure him out , that if maybe I could understand him better I could help him . I think a part of me loved him and felt sorry for the way that he was . His jokes would often shock me as they were so dark and the things he would say about people treating them as objects. Little did I know is that I was being treated in the same exact way. It was him vs. the world . I felt sorry that he felt the need to fight so many people . A part of me wanted to caress and love him , take the hurt away I felt he was experiencing . What you said about the charity is so true because he had given and worked on charity a lot in the past . When I first met him he gave off a vibe of understanding and care . Like he wanted to get to know me more , he walked me up to my room and immediately started speaking about me moving from the US to the country I was visiting . That first night I was confused and told him I couldn’t do that because I was finishing college . It was like curious he placed that nugget of thought in my mind. That I would move countries for him? I didn’t even know or trust him. He was trying to convince me . I thought it was kind of cute but now looking back it’s very strange and maybe the beginning of his manipulation of creating a false reality to get me attached to him . That he would take care of me and we would love a perfect little life together ?? He was always surrounded by people . People looked up to him and adored him. He seemed a very important person right off the bat. I felt special that he took an interest in me because the other girls would swarm him. We snuggled , listened to music , kissed and he whispered in my ear sweet nothings . He would comment on my appearance and outfits a lot . He told me I was the hottest girl on the trip , I actually felt special he picked me out from the rest. It made me want him more . That night repeats in my mind like it was absolutely perfect . Looking back now the situation should have just remained a good memory a perfect one and done .But being my curious self I decided to reach back out to him . To see if maybe there was anything there after a year and a half . The rest resulted in a horrific 4 months of my life . I legit became entrapped in a different reality. The key turning point for me realizing he was a narcissist was the fact that he couldn’t call me on the phone . I thought that was strange Sinse we had met before in person. When I asked why he didn’t want to talk to me he said he doesn’t talk to anyone on the phone only his mom , grandfather, and his best friend Sam . I was really confused because I thought me and him had built a rapport and he would want to hear from me at least in the voice again. It killed me that he didn’t want to talk to me , and I think he knows this . I just blocked him because there’s only so much a person can stand with the mixed signals. I really need to move forward now & heal .
I had similar thoughts about fixing him. Lol
Boy… he hit the nail on the head. I’m not a person who sits here and call everyone a narcissist because I know we all can be narcissistic, but I 100% am sure my mom is one. And she has people fooled. People don’t believe the things she has said or did to me. They look at me as an ungrateful child, and that our relationship is the typical relationship between a woman and her mom. Since we’re both women, they write it off as us both having bad attitudes. My mom is not normal, and she has mentally tortured me since a child. This video makes me feel so validated. To all the people who is dealing with an N whether it’s a romantic relationship or one with a family member, their true colors will show. And people will see what you were talking about all along. I’m praying for you❤️
Unfortunately victims of narcissistic abuse then withdraw and isolate from others and would rather give up interpersonal relationships to live alone in peace and freedom.
That is where im at right now... But I am determined to take the great qualities I had before he tried to destroy them, regain who makes me me ans bring what I went through to make me and even better person. That's the goal..
It sucks that they can fit in so well. I have to be so guarded and protective around people now. I can't just be myself, I have to be practically boring to keep myself safe from the soul suckers lol
I am 72. When I was young, my motto was to trust everyone until they gave me a reason not to ..... now my motto is the opposite - I trust NO ONE until they prove they are trustworthy & genuine & not a narcissist!
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
Ashley, you're not alone. I feel the same way as you. I'm so glad you shared that. It makes me feel better. Thank you.
Wow. You quote me. I say that. I have to completely hide myself, my light and I go through life with my head down n trying to act like just another sheep. It's the only choice I have if I'd like to conserve my energy instead of being mobbed, stalked, harassed and threatened with murder, grape, etc, sexually assaulted in public, etc, the target of jealous women and haters.
What's extremely distressing about being married to a narcissist is that more often than not they won't rest until they know everything about you, the empath! Narcissists use those same insecurities no matter what they are or how traumatic, to find a way to make you responsible for your own pain! They play so many head games on a daily basis that even educated professionals can become completely worn out.. The only way to help yourself in a narcissistic controlled relationship is to get out! Their behaviors will worsen before they get better.. And the little bit of support that you will have in the way of friends or family will cause them to take a "hands off approach to the narcissist because the only way to deal with a narcissist is to confront him head on.. and your friends, family, support groups will not be willing to do this.. Living with them day to day you know the extreme lengths they call to hide their evil.. even getting out of a marriage, or relationship with them is hard because they will either lure you back in, or make it so difficult for you to leave.. some empaths feel that the financial strain emotional, psychological, physical drain that a narcissist leaves on you is just not worth it.. Some stay at their own peril..
You're spot on about family and friends, they dont want to engage in their mental gymnastics
I really appreciate hearing a male perspective on narcissism and narc abuse. I am a therapist specializing in narc abuse, DV, and trauma. I’m also a survivor of all of it. I’m interested in learning more from your perspective, thanks for being part of the solution!! ❤️
Mandy, it’s nice to hear that you understand. I’m currently in such a situation and trying to draw my exit strategy. There’s loving kids involved so that makes it murkier. Would love to pick your brain.
@@kennethagoi4115 getting out of a narcissistic relationship is one of the hardest challenges I can think of. Adding courts and children to the picture is so painful and scary. I really get that. That said, you can do it! Make sure that while you plan your next steps, that you give yourself some time, as often as you can, to do something just for you. It’s so easy to become drenched in the toxicity of it all, so it’s vital to love yourself and take time to care fir yourself. Easier said than done, I know! You can do this, trust your gut! 💪🏼
@@innerworkshealing22 thank you so much for your input. It’s truly challenging , but like you said , it’s possible. Your suggestions make sense. I haven’t really focused on taking care of me in a long time .
@@kennethagoi4115 that tends to happen to most of us while in a “relationship” w a toxic person. They target empathetic, caring, sincere people. Basically the opposite of what they are, they do this for many reasons including that we will put their needs above our own.
@@innerworkshealing22 Indeed, they are predators; they learn which people are "targets".
Very well said. I was raised by a narc mother and married a narc husband. I did not know there was this illness. I thought I was crazy. I went from abuse to abuse. I thought it was me. I started listening to professionals talk about narcissistic people. Now I understand. I was the first born of 8 of us. I was blamed for all the hate in my mother's life. Most of her children are also narcs. They are hateful, destroying beings. I miss them but want nothing to do with them.
I am seeing a therapist and I am focusing on me now. So strange to do that. Thank you for you talk today. Feeling less a fool.
It is great that Danish is bringing this topic up in UA-cam. In DSM IV, one of the most prominent problems with NPD and/or other disorders is dysfunctionality at work and/or a family setting. These people with disorders, know how to hide all the undesirable characteristics.
This is so on point. I literally witnessed the narc looking to other people for how to react on a situation. I didn’t realise this for the longest time but they used me being the empathetic person that I am on how to gauge what’s emotionally appropriate. I then had a friend come to me saying that they thought they could talk to the narc about things. But since I left the friendship they can’t talk about anything and that I was the buffer.
Narcissist cannot fool me anymore. I can spot one from a mile away. Therapist and all counselors or judges need to get training so these evil people wont get away with their abuse.
They are very sneaky with how they play situations, and they'll make sure to silence the ACTUAL victim.
Fine point. They make sure they are in control of their false narrative, by silencing you, however and whenever possible, so others only get one side - their side.
@@meredithheath5272 You have to be silent if you don't want further pain or suffering. They are under cover bullies who only want to abuse you.
So true
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
I was silenced by "I will ung myself and leave a note because of you" imagine
Thanks for those kind words. The victims always blame themselves for not setting the boundaries and being a fool. But I understand from your video that it is not the truth. Can't be more accurate, they create a fake image by involving themselves in philanthropic activities, which makes you fall for them. But all these are a plot to get their prey!
Keep posting such videos and it is helpful for people like us. Myself and my husband will wait for your posts and discuss how true and accurate your posts are 🤗 our best wishes.
Totally agreed. First time having a narcissist in my life(my ex) and i discovered her fast. At first i didn't know what was a narcissist until i started investigation or watching videos on youtube and it was amazing ,how everything make sense after listening to lots of professionals in Narcissist Behavior. I learned from her and thank to myself i didn't fell into that blind hole for too long. Its very important to not ignore negative behavior from others. It can be very dangerous if you do.
With Narcissists, it's best to utilize your Miranda rights, because anything you say or do WILL be used against you, and that should tell you something about the U.S. justice system.
Yep. That's why it's called the "CRIMINAL Justice System"....Justice for the CRIMINALS not the victims!!!!
👏 top tier comment
I cannot thank you enough for the reassuring words you said. I very much needed to hear that 🙏💝🤧😖
I was exhausted trying to explain my agony to others but no one including my closest people understand or believe me. Some of them brush it aside saying "no marriage is perfect, you have to adjust" and others think I am overreacting. This is, after being in 8 years of marriage!
Once again thank you from bottom of my heart 🌸
Thank you so much for this video. You have voiced the answer to the question that I've asked myself for 10 years after finding out my father was crazy and not me. Why are they so hard to spot? It's that one two punch of kindness and charisma which hides the motive of control and constant need for supply. Truly unique is the idea that they set the stage for future negative behavior by greasing it with overwhelming kindness and generosity.
Yes!! He was such a great actor! All these years I knew he couldn't live me because I asked myself how could he love me and treat me like garbage? I was confused .one minute he was kind and the next not speaking to me and me asking what did I do?? Absolute insanity 😳
Thank you for your percise explanation of such dark and dangerous behaviour which very often sneaks up on one when one is vulnerable or going through some life challenge, only to show its real intent when the target makes a little personal progress and starts to regain ones energy and clarity .
The man I was with was such an actor. He'd seek and give physical affection towards me which to mean symbolizes a romantic connection. Meanwhile I was being used as a source of attention. He would not respect my boundaries. Yes, as you mentioned this is not true empathy.
You worded that well. Look at it this way. Everyone has their bad days. Everyone can be b!tchy at times, etc but then there is that fine line. Once that fine line is crossed then you know you're dealing with narcissistic personality disorder. Yes, it's all about the boundaries! Once they cross those boundaries it's a red flag. I believe that sometimes there are narcissists who come in these comment sections, because they're good at turning their disorder around on others. Or sometimes people mistaken a person as a narcissists when they're actually being too judgmental. But they way you worded your comment proves to me that you definitely dealt with a narcissist. "Meanwhile I was being used as a source of attention." Wow! You hit the nail on the head!
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
I experienced all of this and I am still working through my journey of healing . My experience has caused me to endure nightmares on almost a nightly basis although I can push most of what I experienced out of my mind during the day, I guess I have more work to do. I’m not sure if anyone else is plagued by nightmares during the healing process but if you are , you have my sympathy, loves. It isn’t easy trying to process it all.
I’ve known him since I was 16 and now I’m 41 and finally I’ve seen the truth and am breaking free. 🦋 Thank you for your video.♥️🖤
I have nightmares most nights since child hood.
By mirroring you! And that is why in the beginning they only boast about you, because they want to be like you. They will mainly be jealous of how good your parents are. And at some point they will be so miserable from realising how badly they were raised and from seeing how good your life is (or was before them) that they will snap and start to ruin your life. Suddenly they will only say negative things about everything you do because they are dying of jealousy.
She actually used to say many times that she wasn't a monster... and the fact you used that word was enough validation for me.. her actions are hideous, towards me and others, particularly those in service, airport staff, hotel staff, restaurant staff... i'm ashamed of myself to have been tied to someone with such nastiness hiding inside that would surface at the most random times
I was used by the narcissist man working n airport, now its hard to move on
Maybe borderline ?
Same exact feeling for me I have this inner shame/ guilt because I let myself be tied to someone like that
My daughter once told his narc father that he made her cry, then his father said he’s crying too. He really thought he could fool his daughter. It’s very damaging actually!!
This helped me understand behaviors of and things I've gone through with my soon-to-be ex-wife that I've been trying to figure out for YEARS. It makes so much more sense now, with her lack of emotional awareness. I always thought women were supposed to be more empathetic than men, but it was very much the other way around in our relationship.
This is such a helpful video. You explain perfectly the nature of narcissistic abuse and the effects on survivors. I feel seen and listened to.
I just had the sympathy/compassion conversation with my h. When I said that they were emotions and one had to choose when and how to display them he burst out laughing and said that was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. I said no. That knowing when and how to act on them was part of emotional maturity and self protection. He again laughed and walked out. Usual behavior. But I understood then that any empathy from him is an action he does that doesn’t come from an emotional root but from his head- the proper action that he thinks needs to be done. Thanks for making that even clearer for me
Yes I read another post by Anita24 and I concur. It is so twisted and convoluted it’s been terribly hard to crawl out of the web. I questioned wether I was the narcissist for some time. I still check in with myself and am grateful to know that my empathy is true and I now know that I am not a narcissist but the projection that happens during the relationship is almost like they are making you into them and they are trying to become you. Hope that makes sense. I can see a high light real now as I look back and numerous red flags and different moments that help to remind me of what is/was true and how the tangled web was made.
Mr. Bashir you explained this perfectly.
Best I’ve ever heard. And thank you for such a perfect explanation and ending it with the conclusion that it’s not the victims fault for falling for it. I wish the police would take classes on this so that they have an insight on all aspects for domestic calls.
In my experience the police was continually convinced and I would be arrested even thought the DA would drop it it would not matter because as a result of this I lost my pharmaceutical lic. Amongst other certifications.
My point is, whoever out there is in a relationship with a narcissist get out because their ultimate goal is to suck u dry and if u don’t go along with them they will masterly cause u to lose your livelihood. U can not win. U will lose. Get out u must. And listen to Mr. Bashir he has done the best explanation you left nothing out. Thank you 🙏
No doubts sir..
This is one of your best episodes💯 and very helpful to them who are victims yet doubtful about their decision to leave expecting a positive change in the narcissist😢😢
OMG you are exactly right on with all that you said!!! No one would possibly understand if they had not experienced it for themselves. I experienced it and it's still absolutely unreal. I don't think the way they do so it was hard to believe that was what I was dealing with until a lawyer insisted that I run a CBI on my husband. I was not prepared for what I saw on that report. 6 pages of legal charges against him including attempted murder in the 1st degree and drugging a victim. It was all the things he did to his first wife!!! Domestic violence, ignoring protection orders, stalking, on and on. He was repeating his history then with me. It totally blew my mind. I started learning everything I could about covert narcissist. He gave my things away to people to try and look like a nice guy, never anything that belonged to him. What a nightmare. Thank you so much for clearly verbalizing exactly what they do to try and look normal.
You hit the nail on the head ! Narcissist do all these things because I've dealt with one
This is the first video I’ve come across of yours. Of ALL of the hundreds I’ve viewed over the course of the last (almost) 3 years from psychologists/therapists/coaches etc., your video is THE BEST!! You articulated exactly what being with a covert narcissist is like. Immediately subscribed and saved this. Thank you
It's not your fault you got caught, however it's your responsibility to get out. Don't put up with abuse. Set clear and firm boundaries. It takes training though... Bit you can do it ! 👍
Wtf, this is the best channel about this theme and I am so grateful to find it today!! 🙏👍 It is all so true and well told everything around narcissists. Thank you so much. Very helpful and important video for me.
Omg 1 billion likes to YOU DANISH!! I AM THE EPITOME OF A NARC SURVIVOR!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR VALIDATION! 💯 ON POINT!!
Thank you so much for this. I've been riddled with confusion and de-personalisation for some time now. This might just help me see thru a little.
This is one of the most accurate description of the narcissistic person. It took me a long time not to feel stupid for marrying someone like this. Thank you so very much.
According to J.Franklin ("Death by Enchantment", London 1971), the priests of Satan (witches and sorcerers) adopt a sweet, pleasant, kind, friendly, very cooperative external behavior to better hide the will to destroy all those they have sympathy for them and trust their smiling face. These elect do not attend traditional groups and indeed speak out clearly against covens such as Gardner's Wicca, but often bind themselves to a few other elect. Perverse by nature, they have no need to cultivate the arcana of classic sorcery. Franklin's questionnaire would give concordant and precise indications that isolated witches are antisocial, quarrelsome right from school age, persecuted by other children (considered vulgar and stupid, moreover, by the witch) who torment the strange companion because they are jealous of her position, of his intellectual superiority. But the brilliant mental qualities of witches - Franklin continues - remain superficial; their character, marked by some suffering in childhood, by lack of parental guidance, make these subjects perfect vehicles for demons: one of them takes the future witch by storm when she becomes a woman and guides her towards the path of witchcraft. Franklin then sees the "normal" life of the predestined to witchcraft unfold like this: very young, the witches choose even before leaving school, without hesitation or hesitation or mistakes, a young, sensitive and tender man who they manage to persuade of their deep love , until he gets to marry the witch who is now happy to have the first victim; tormenting her unfortunate husband in every way, she reduces him to a coward, worthy of contempt; slowly leads him to depression, to the loss of vital energy: himself an unknown victim of witchcraft, he will die precisely of this lowering of his vital dynamism ...
Thank you Danish! I am a good person, empathetic and normal! I am a human being who believes and trusts. I have been broken by narcissistic relationships! I am on my way to recovery and wholeness!!! Thank you for your ministry and inspiration!
Actually, and no offence to Danish, this topic has already been developed on UA-cam FOR many YEARS - and by many different therapists. Danish is quite late in bringing it. That said, I enjoy his contributions, which I generally find most useful.
Thank you for this vlog!!! There are good people, such as Dr. Ramani and Dr. Carter, and Yourself, who educate us, and, the more education you present from different people, we can also have more to absorb, , for the best
Esp. as You *focus and go into detail, the *very important aspect of narcissism and psychopathy, where these "predators" are *VERY GOOD ACTORS. This aspect cannot overemphasized!!
Thank you, again!!!
6:30 Narcissist here (at least i think i am, most of your descriptions from another video suits me): The most important thing about a lie is that there has to be always some truth in it. A lie works best if you put in something that the other person can test and something that the person cant test.
For example: "Look, i make this cake for you (
Thank you to Mr.Danish for this clear explanation. I still feel unclear about myself, and where I stand in the spectrum of this dissorder. This is both applicable, as well as not a solid description of me and my family. This trait is very strong in my family. I try to forget about my narratives, but i know it plays a role in my own discord and dissonance. I try to see the good in the acts and intentions of my family members, whilst at the same time I try to attend to my wounds from their mistreatment. With all of this dynamics, I feel a cluster of emotions, and it manifests as anxiety and feeling unwell and unprepared for the day. I resort to my faith for maintenance, but sometimes it is flagging. So, I say that I will rest for now, but it would be denial to say that there is resolution. It is perpetual. Is it simply an unfortunate human condition, that we must give and take in experiencing real life? It seems like a trait more concentrated in my family than I would know about it existing in other people's family?! What is the take away from my life's experiences?! What does this life add to the scheme of human history? Aside from feeling maladapted, what is the gain or the goal, having lived my share of the bullying and being a bully myself?! Do you have a resource for my querry? Thank you, kindly.
I am in the same shoes as you! Went throughso much narc abuse all my life from age 0-29. At some point i was an empath but now i dont know who i am. I act in bitchy ways but i just want love and kindness from people. Only those closest to me know i am sweet.but those who dont really know me say i am acting or i am such a bitch. Also i am quiet most of the time, unapproachable even but people will say I am snobbish. Sometimes i think i should court the attention I get by doing something super drastic, posting it on social media and becoming and celebrity. But my weak heart can’t take bullying from more strangers. Note, i feel all my issues stem from how I look- i am not the hottest girl in the room, but I am fine. People who have picked on me were(are) women who look the opposite of me. If i looked like them i would get away with being the bullies they are. When i stand up to them I am considered rude. I lost myself-part of the reason i chose to be quiet and mind my own business
@@dinnerideas1626 You have a way of describing your thoughts, that I can so relate!! You are NOT alone, we have so much in common. I think it causes stress, and that brings us down. Perhaps, how we manage the stress that our history has caused us, should be our focus. How do we de-stress?! You sound like an awesome intellect!!! Thank you for sharing. Your words help me.
Spot on...thank you Danish....30 years of it....am now finally extricating myself
Wow, Thank you so much for this, it's disturbing to hear that these people feel nothing it's all an act, however this also helped me a great deal as unsettling as it is. Your videos are healing, thank you again.
also they treat different people differently, according to how much they need them & rely on them, so everybody has a different view of the narcissist,making it very hard for all to unite against the narcissist..espescially in family dynamics you have the scapegoat child, golden child, neglected child etc.. who are all treated differently & will fight each other over the narc..the old strategy of divide & conquer, unfortunately very effective in preventing the narcs exposure...
Hi Danish, I have been watching you for awhile now and love love love your shows. I have come to realize that my daughter is a narcissist big time. I never could pinpoint what her problem was, I thought she was just evil but you made me realize what it is. We had a blow out and I left her house vowing to NEVER GO BACK!!!! And I won't. But she is pulling her power over my grandkids and controlling them. They are all grown up and suffering from the mental anguish she causes them. I gave my gsons wife your info and she agrees that its what the mom is doing and he does not see it. I do think he is waking up to it. Hopefully he can work thru this and keep her at bay. The love boys have for their mom and loyalty will destroy them if they don't wake up. Thank you, I am so glad I do not deal with her anymore and I have been happy as ever.
sorry for the long letter
Thanks Danish for awesome insights ❤
Being an empowered empath is narcissistic kryptonite
Danish Bashir, thanks for the Educational podcast and support and of course they are false fake people I have been through Narcissistic drama and I know now what to look for in a relationship and for now I am going to remain single and independent and Retired and happier and have my own Schedule and stay focused on my life and aside from that I have set strong boundaries. Thanks GOD-BLESS.
For example the narc I ended up with was running marathons through a mega church he worked his way up through heirachry.
Few months later I found out he had taken out credit cards in my name and ruined my credit...why would I think someone running for starving people in Africa would steal from me while calling himself the love of my life?
Everything you describe is 100% spot on.
WOW! I'm old, and nothing should surprise me, but, some predators are on another level.
thank you, you are very smart and insightful and are making a difference in the lives of fellow narcissistic abuse survivors!
Thank you very helpful video. Please do a video explaining why they hate vulnerability and love. Why they have to hurt the ones who loves them. Why hold onto falsehood? Why does truth terrify them. Thank you
Your insight is fantastic in many avenues. I'm appreciating the different input