"Assume good intent" is an excellent starting point. This rules out our fear/insecurity based reflexive response to an undesired behavior. If it repeats, then other causes need to be identified. but agree, we see others often differently than ourselves - especially if you don't know them or don't like them.
I use "Good Person, Bad Day" as the first line of defense in checking my assumptions to ensure that they are reasonable and empathetic. My backstop in the worst case situations where "Good Person, Bad Day" doesn't feel like a compelling argument is to apply Hanlon's Razor: "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."
Thanks for the Hanlon's Razon concept. I've never heard of that one. That's excellent. I have used a principle that is aligned with that. I sometimes say to myself (about possible character issues like when somebody blows off an important priority), "This could be a competence problem, not an ethical problem."
@@alexanderlyon The Hanlon's Razor aphorism comes from the rise of programming subculture. There are similar concepts that predate it (often phrased with a better tone). en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanlon's_razor
@@alexanderlyon The other companion idea I would group with all of these constructs is one that this channel introduced me to: "If you could easily finish a statement with the phrase, "You Dummy!," you're using the wrong tone." -Allen Weiner I would put this as the warning alarm behind the backstop. Once you have failed the Weiner tone test in a situation then it is time to backtrack and figure out the attribution error that was missed.
Hey Alex. Greatly appreciated this video! It is so useful and accurate. I teach body language and non--verbal communication and it is so important to take these things into account when decoding other's behaviour! Best,
Yes it was useful👍👍 Now I know what that reaction is called😁😁😁 I personally have never loved to draw conclusions on a person's behavior just on first meeting which a lot of people do. I like to give them the benefit of the doubt until I'm certain that there are no external triggers to their behaviour. Thanks once again.
if it is a character flaw, then it will happen frequently, but if it is a situational incident, then it will be a once in a while event. we can tell the consistent behavior from occasional behavior.
Hi Alex, Another good video. I suppose you can call it being judgmental or making assumptions or measuring others by you own standards (which can often be flawed or inconsistent). I work in Criminal Justice and i find the behaviour you describe commonplace (sometimes for good reasons), however one of the main things i do to combat and balance these thoughts is to ask myself the external questions you mentioned....what if ?.....Maybe they...?....I wonder if?....... Sometimes making these assumptions or attributions helps you investigate other reasons for their behaviours, so there can be a plus side, its how you say it and if you have any negativity or malice that makes a difference. I often make these attributions with good reason and then challenge the individual, I've been wrong on many occasions where an acceptable external factor has been present but i have also been right on many occasions and received comments such as " you are spot on, I've just been avoiding you and i cant be bothered with this" Gives pause for thought, thanks.
Great video - it's great to get people to think about the circumstances attributing to a person's behaviour. We don't do this enough. On another note, the new microphone makes me feel that you are rooted (or trapped) on the spot. Perhaps it would feel less restricting if we couldn't see the microphone. Food for thought??? :)
Thanks for the feedback on the content and the microphone. I have a few videos I just recorded with it so you'll be seeing it again. But, I still have lots of other mics I have used in the past. Let me see if I can take a little survey, maybe through my email list, to see what people think. Thanks for your point of view on it.
If U want to have great wisdom and to be a wise, then read about the biography of the prophet Muhammad (PBUH) from authentic sources or try to visit any Islamic center near you. Look how he dealt with diffrent kinds of people (friends, children, enemies even animals)
Get a Free Download pdf Quick Guide to Professional Communication Skills: www.alexanderlyon.com/free-resources
This is very helpful. I will make it a practice not to assume something negative. Thank you for making this video.
"Assume good intent" is an excellent starting point. This rules out our fear/insecurity based reflexive response to an undesired behavior. If it repeats, then other causes need to be identified. but agree, we see others often differently than ourselves - especially if you don't know them or don't like them.
I use "Good Person, Bad Day" as the first line of defense in checking my assumptions to ensure that they are reasonable and empathetic.
My backstop in the worst case situations where "Good Person, Bad Day" doesn't feel like a compelling argument is to apply Hanlon's Razor: "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."
Thanks for the Hanlon's Razon concept. I've never heard of that one. That's excellent. I have used a principle that is aligned with that. I sometimes say to myself (about possible character issues like when somebody blows off an important priority), "This could be a competence problem, not an ethical problem."
@@alexanderlyon The Hanlon's Razor aphorism comes from the rise of programming subculture. There are similar concepts that predate it (often phrased with a better tone).
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanlon's_razor
@@alexanderlyon The other companion idea I would group with all of these constructs is one that this channel introduced me to:
"If you could easily finish a statement with the phrase, "You Dummy!," you're using the wrong tone." -Allen Weiner
I would put this as the warning alarm behind the backstop. Once you have failed the Weiner tone test in a situation then it is time to backtrack and figure out the attribution error that was missed.
Hey Alex. Greatly appreciated this video! It is so useful and accurate. I teach body language and non--verbal communication and it is so important to take these things into account when decoding other's behaviour! Best,
Thanks, Elizabeth. I appreciate the encouragement.
Yes it was useful👍👍
Now I know what that reaction is called😁😁😁
I personally have never loved to draw conclusions on a person's behavior just on first meeting which a lot of people do. I like to give them the benefit of the doubt until I'm certain that there are no external triggers to their behaviour.
Thanks once again.
Hey, thanks for your comment. Glad the video was helpful.
if it is a character flaw, then it will happen frequently, but if it is a situational incident, then it will be a once in a while event. we can tell the consistent behavior from occasional behavior.
great video! yes to your question!! very helpful for all individuals to be open minded and aware of this!
Hi Alex,
Another good video.
I suppose you can call it being judgmental or making assumptions or measuring others by you own standards (which can often be flawed or inconsistent). I work in Criminal Justice and i find the behaviour you describe commonplace (sometimes for good reasons), however one of the main things i do to combat and balance these thoughts is to ask myself the external questions you mentioned....what if ?.....Maybe they...?....I wonder if?.......
Sometimes making these assumptions or attributions helps you investigate other reasons for their behaviours, so there can be a plus side, its how you say it and if you have any negativity or malice that makes a difference. I often make these attributions with good reason and then challenge the individual, I've been wrong on many occasions where an acceptable external factor has been present but i have also been right on many occasions and received comments such as " you are spot on, I've just been avoiding you and i cant be bothered with this"
Gives pause for thought, thanks.
Interesting! I've never heard of this but I've certainly seen it... and have probably done this to other people 😉
I hear you. Same for me.
The motive impelling the movement.
The intention of the action.
Remember to pause and observe behavior, then respond accordingly.
Great video - it's great to get people to think about the circumstances attributing to a person's behaviour. We don't do this enough. On another note, the new microphone makes me feel that you are rooted (or trapped) on the spot. Perhaps it would feel less restricting if we couldn't see the microphone. Food for thought??? :)
Thanks for the feedback on the content and the microphone. I have a few videos I just recorded with it so you'll be seeing it again. But, I still have lots of other mics I have used in the past. Let me see if I can take a little survey, maybe through my email list, to see what people think. Thanks for your point of view on it.
Hi Alex, This is new to me. Very useful. Thank you
Glad it was helpful. I love this concept. It explains a lot.
Helpful concept...👌
Very helpful thank you!!
Glad it was helpful, Sylvie.
I appreciate this.
Thanks, J School. I'm glad it was helpful.
Well explain. Thank you
You're welcome. I appreciate your encouragement and I'm glad the video was helpful.
Thank you!
If U want to have great wisdom and to be a wise, then read about the biography of the prophet Muhammad (PBUH) from authentic sources or try to visit any Islamic center near you.
Look how he dealt with diffrent kinds of people (friends, children, enemies even animals)