everything wrong w/ "romanticize your life": eurocentrism, hedonism, unrealistic, etc.
Вставка
- Опубліковано 30 тра 2024
- sorry that this video is a bit disorganized :$ i found it more difficult than usual to sort my thoughts out in this one because i had so many different topics i wanted to touch on. here are some issues i have with making "romanticize your life/i'm the main character" your mantra. (ps: i like some of the ideas of a romanticized life, just not all of them :))
*CORRECTION: Bartolomé de Las Casas is Spanish so he is European, making him a bad example of a non-Eurocentric writer and I apologize. He was a Spanish colonist but he actually became famous for his defense of the rights of the Indigenous people of the Americas and called out a lot of the awful atrocities that came from colonialization and slavery. Nonetheless, he was a Spanish colonist and indeed European so I am completely in the wrong for including him in the video and I'm truly sorry. Thank you to the people who brought this to my attention.*
✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: i'd love to hear what you all have to say *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
TIMESTAMPS:
0:00 intro
2:43 pros of "romanticize your life"
7:41 cons of "romanticize your life"
7:46 eurocentrism
10:02 life is not a performance
12:11 "it's all about perspective"
15:13 self-centered life
17:30 exclusivity
18:49 pretty privilege & being the main character
20:00 counterargument
SOURCES/LITERATURE THAT INFLUENCED MY THOUGHTS IN THIS VID:
• 10 ways to make LIFE A...
• being the main charact...
• How To Romanticize You...
• Romanticize Your Life ...
• HOW TO ROMANTICIZE YOU...
• How to Romanticize you...
• how to romanticise you...
• nyc vlog | Becoming th...
open.spotify.com/episode/6IF7...
themanifestationcollective.co...
www.thechapelbell.com/article...
open.spotify.com/episode/4F4r...
drive.google.com/file/d/1QRti...
★・・・・・★・・・・・★
socials:
,, instagram: @olisunvia
,, tiktok: @olisunvia (v lame pls don't judge)
,, depop: @olisunvia
FOR BUSINESS INQUIRIES:
olisunvia@nebula.tv
★・・・・・★・・・・・★
tags: social commentary internet analysis opinion video essay romanticize your life romanticizing your life romantic life romance cottage core how to be the main character main character energy being the main character fairycore cottagecore pretty privilege eurocentrism white privilege classism i no longer dream of labour i do not dream of labour social media tiktok instagram pinterest aesthetic how to live aesthetically
#maincharacter #videoessay #romanticizeyourlife
I rather see romanticizing your life as embracing your situation and your emotions fully. To be a "main character" is to go through hardships as well as times of bliss. I see it as embracing sadness, embracing happiness, embracing frustration, embracing feelings of failure, embracing feelings of joy, embracing progress, embracing depression, embracing healing. I don't think romanticizing life should be about achieving aesthetic perfection or the strive to be happy all the time, but rather about being more immersed in your "story", your journey in life as a human being with all its imperfections.
perfectly put!
Oofttttt this!!! Well said
yes totally agree!
I completely agree with you.
Yes, totally
"Feeling like the main character" doesn't imply feeling happy all the time, or feeling perfect. It means that your struggles have significance.
This is beautifully put!
But they don’t. And pretending that they do is just as harmful as ignoring them
@Ryan Alex lots of main characters in stories don’t have friends. Feeling like a “main character” is just your perspective on your own life, so if you feel like you’re boring and just interested in other ppls lives than you could feel like a side character, or maybe if you don’t pursue you’re dreams. But really main characters don’t exist in real life, and in stories, there are lots of different main characters that aren’t always popular or amazing people. So really if you feel like a side character because you don’t have friends, you should try and focus on yourself more and be at peace with just your own company. Plus, once people focus on themselves and build their self worth, friends usually gravitate towards them easier. Sorry for such a long reply lol
@@bay_leaf1510 ??? What makes you say that? You must be thinking of something specific.
To me, thinking "my struggles have significance" in the context of a *story arc* means that I can look back on a hard experience and say "I learned from that". Or I can face an awful meaningless task with the knowledge that it serves to contrast some future joy. Stories flow a certain way.
It's fanciful and doesn't reflect the randomness of existence, but the result is just a more hopeful, measured mindset for the individual.
I just don't see the _harmful_ part of seeing significance in one's struggles this way -- maybe you're equating this with fake positivity, or delusion?
@@jauxro ah, well I guess I misinterpreted your comment at first. All of this sounds like fun sized Buddhist philosophy to me, clinging on to fantasy won’t satisfy existential dread long-term. Then again, if it gets you through the day, I don’t really care.
"Toxic Romanticization of life" is more about the visuals and aesthetically pleasing vibe rather than actually embracing and being grateful for what you have even if it's less
I feel like romanticizing my life, at least for me, is saying: "Hey, it won't be easy, but I can deal with this, and I will enjoy the little things in the mean time." and not go nuts to buts crazy buying stuff or idealizing things I don't need.
Really? It kind of seems like it will lend itself heavily to buying things to "treat yourself" and I wouldn't be terribly surprised to see marketing toward its followers.
@@psplayer1344 yes this is a very possible thing that can happen, that doesn't mean romanticizing your life is inherently bad for you and can still benefit you greatly
@@psplayer1344honestly, i ser it like romanticising life is abt the TRULY LITTLE things. As in, not goung to starbucks, but romanticising making coffee at home, not buying 200 books per month, romanticising going to the library and borrowing boos, so i would say it s the exact opposite, it helps saving money
to me is not about buying or not buying something but enjoying what you do daily in little things and I myself just see my life in this pink happy colored lens most times
What does "nuts to buts" mean in this sentence ?
people need to understand that romanticizing your life means *your* life, for me it means reading my favorite manga while listening to argentine rock and drinking mate, not scented candles or yoga bc i don’t like those things, those things don’t represent my life. you should romanticize what makes YOU happy, not the things you see in the internet, they’re not living your life
Exactly, for me I’d light up one of my many scented candles, pull out a good book and read until I either finish the book or get tired of reading. I’d put on some music if I need to clean and dance my way through the house.
Yess, same with me. How I romanticize my life is studying with lofi music on, fanboying over my favorite music artists, thinking of lovely scenarios, being imaginative, reading fan fictions and books, drinking tea and coffee, etc. I think it's healthy when you do things in a different perspective that makes YOU happy, not something off a trend or what others are doing.
@@milkyuuu6170 Wouldn't that just be "doing things that make you happy"? I find those things you mentioned to be very healthy and cool. I think you're enjoying your life, not romanticizing it. Because romanticizing means making something seem better or more appealing than it really is.
@@alexeigimenez Depends on you. For me, those things are appealing to me, technically not even romanticizing at all, but that's my "ideal" activities I try to do in order to live in the moment and be the so-called "main character" that I imagined to be.
exactly !
Maybe the "romanticize your life" trend was originally targeted toward the imaginative, young-adult-novel-reading type of person. I hadn't realized the ways it could be misunderstood.
Yeah it doesn't seem like a bad idea tbh but people online tend to twist everything.
Same here. Most of Olivia’s points was really new and unusual to me. But I know that it it relevant to a lot of people.
@@majlordag1889 THIS! every trend has to be over analyzed and deconstructed
I feel like this idea is more for people who are not satisfied with their mundane lives. It's not meant for people who are mentally ill.
@Ai Zee That's not her point. Her point is that it is trendy right now to do yoga.
As a person with extreme social anxiety, the romanticize your life trend, unlike how you've described it, has actually helped me become a lot more social and comfortable with my life. It gets rid of the mindset of "I'm worthless because it's hard to interact with people" in the go go go society that we live into a "Take one step at a time and go at your own pace" mindset that's really helped. I started just going to malls and walking around and taking in all the sights and getting familiar with the surroundings and seeing the beauty in people and realizing it's not so scary so now I actually see people as *people* and not creatures to fear. I think you might be overthinking the concept of romanticization as well. You're saying it's purely European and materialistic while that's not the point at all! The point is not to be materialistic, it's more based in self-reflection and your internal happiness, and how you're describing it makes it seem somewhat borderline narcissistic while it's really just a way to see the beauty in what is otherwise despair and gloomy.
That's just my thoughts on it anyways. This video is good for seeing the flaws in the trend, however, most people aren't thinking of that. They're thinking of happiness and self-worth and isn't that enough? The main character aspect of it, thought kind of self-centered, can be helpful to people's mental state which in turn can lead to the bettering of the lives of people around them. If I were to be depressed because all I see is sadness in the world, how would I be to help others? I cant because I haven't helped myself. Once you are happy or at least content with life, you can then go on to help others without worrying about how that can affect you.
Apologies that my thoughts might be a bit disorganized and hard to understand. These are just some thoughts for contemplation.
I understood you perfectly well thank you for this comment!!!
I'm going to be romanticizing cleaning my living room tomorrow!
I totally understand but I think her criticism applies to situations where the individual can't get better all by themselves. It definitely varies from person to person.
Sometimes just looking at it through rose colored lenses isn't going to fix the underlying issue. For example, people with clinical depression can't just will themselves to be happy despite chemicals in their brains going haywire or despite traumas that haunts them. Sometimes it's important to seek professional help and smiling through the pain could just be a form of repression. And if someone lives in a world where everyone tells them to just be more positive, it's less likely for them to reach out for help.
i agree i try to romanticize simple mundane everyday tasks because it just makes me happier and really helps u see the good and beauty in everything 😭
@@8amango why are you crying???
@@mikafizz1022 they didn’t mean to use the emoji literally 😅
I feel the focus of romanticism is slowly shifting from European culture to Asian culture, or more specifically, Japanese or Korean culture.
It's nothing but a different version of being a bougie and annoying person (like loving all cultures around the world is cool, but as a poor person, I am kinda offended as I cannot afford it 😭)
Like how am I supposed to enjoy poor and kinda messed up life? I mostly think that this is some white people bullshit
The only difference between art and propaganda is that one is subtle and the other is not
what is european culture
@@ratm1lkkk487wdym what is european culture
@@rihanuchka there’s no such thing as ‘european culture’ considering the continent is made up of over 40 different nations with their own distinct cultures. why would OP differentiate between china japan and korea and then not do the same with europe
personally its helped me a lot. An example is me taking a bus every morning to uni. For a while this was one of the most depressing parts of my day because of the monotony and overall how unhappy I was with my life. Then, I started with imagining my bus ride like I was a studio ghibli character, i would take pleasure in mundane activities like taking a bus, i would imagine myself as the main character, i would look out the window at the trees and buildings passing by etc. and over time I found that the bus ride was no longer depressing anymore. I'd found beauty in it. Idk thats just my thoughts on it.
aww :)
^ THIS.
Right!!
i’m from a third world country and i dont have much, but i never looked at the concept of ‘romantacizing your lofe’ as this, like the things that i lack. i imagine more like a good memory or time from the back of my mind i wanted to go back to.
i think it's fine to romanticize aspects of your life. Things that are part of everyday life. Especially when it doesn't affect others. It's not harmful at all to try and make mornings more positive and enjoyable by playing music and lighting scented candles. However, romanticizing everything you do from brushing your teeth to a breakup is harmful. Not everything should be romanticized.
**and btw i agree with you, taking walks became really fun when i started taking photos of every little thing that interested me
I feel like the problem with the whole "main character" vibe is that people believe it's a form of self-validation when you're actually living your life in the 3rd person. Looking at your own life through other people's lenses makes you depersonalize from your own experiences and value things according to how you believe other people would perceive them. If you see yourself as the main character, you will only receive validation from a hypothetical spectator, and your experiences will only be valued when fitting a specific aesthetic. It creates a form of self-awareness that seems egocentric when it's actually really depreciating.
i completely agree
i used to have panic attacks, always second guessing myself- how people would react to me, if i was too much or too less eg.
but then i realised its my life, i have control, my opinion at the end of the day only matters- i am with myself forever.
personally, i think you view the “main character” differently from the way i do. it’s entirely possible for someone to think themselves the main character, and still see things from a first person point of view. it does not make you place greater importance on the way others view you, in fact it could do the opposite. if you are the main character, then other people’s harsh words matter less. it’s your own story to write, after all.
it’s all a matter of perspective. it can be really toxic, like “main character disease”, or it can be a healthy way of viewing your life that gives yourself more agency and just lets you enjoy your life more!
so well put
well said
I agree so much with you. Ever since I learned about aesthetics I started validating experiences I have based on what it would look like in third person, and if it would be aesthetically pleasing. I realized that the ‘aesthetic’ way of living for me was really inconvenient and made me way too self conscious. I would for example only like studying if I looked pretty, which made me very insecure about myself. I realized that actually living the aesthetic life didnt feel that good. For example ‘looking out of your car window when its raining’ only ‘feels’ and looks good when you see it in movies. But when you try to recreate it irl you bump your head on the window, there is loud music and youre not sitting comfortably. It started feeling very fake and like I was putting on a show. I started feeling bad because if the ‘ideal way of living’ doesnt feel good, what will?
I think romanticizing our life isn't necessarily making our life "aesthetic", but rather embracing what we already have. I take selfies, but I don't share them with anyone because only I need to think I'm beautiful. I like going to fancy coffee shops, but I don't share any of it online because I do it to enjoy MY time. If I'm sad or frustrated, I let myself feel it on my own so that I can let it all out and then get back up.
I think it can only be done right when it is done only for us and not to post online for other people to see, or at least not all the time.
I agree. Because if you are always sharing it online, you are not in the present moment while you are experiencing, because you are distracted by the action of documenting this and thinking how people will react by it. - Of course you can share it online as well, occasionally, but you really have to be honest with your self. What are my motivation to share this, is to get some kind of validation, like in the form of a "Like" or is it for that selfless reason that you want to only share it because you want to share your joy and somehow enrich other peoples life in the process, like your close ones. The times that I ask my self this, and manage to be completely honest with my self, I end up not sharing, because those are usually the reasons.
Yes same way people end up working jobs they don’t genuinely like their whole life for money instead of working doin what they love and making that same money or more!
I agree I feel like posting online would honestly just ruin the whole thing
From a more stoic perspective, instead of calling it romanticism, how about we just called acceptance?
life cannot be romanticized, no life is ideal, that’s just a ephemeral interpretation, we cannot romanticize tragical situations, but social media make “us” believe we could make our lives ideals if we only wish, stoicism relies not on the ideal but in the real world and the character to live in it.
exactly! and it isn't necessarily looking to things with a "positive" outlook neither! the government people can prepare for the worse, like she said, still with a sense of beauty, a tragic beauty but nevertheless beauty! beacause it doesn't matter how life takes for it is ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL. i think this movement is just humanity urge to be in the loving awareness of the present moment. i usually agree with her perspectives but i think in this one she just doesn't get it. and that's fine, it works for some, doesn't have to work for all
I romanticize my life by taking a minute and looking at the sunset when I can, acting like lofi girl when studying, and doing my bed after opening up my blinds for warm lighting because that's all my lazy butt can do.
That’s just doing whatever you feel like doing, and copying someone else’s personality perhaps, but romanticizing?
… I’m romanticizing breathing 🤣
@@19ars92 I'm romanticizing my life by doing whatever I want to do, and? 🤷♀️
I absolutely do not agree with the Eurocentrism. It is about what YOU like and idolize. I like Asian culture and wherever I’m eating just ramen I imagine myself in a drama. And I am Arab so whenever I eat traditional Saudi meals I remember my grandmas house and our village and feel warm. That’s what romanticizing is. It’s about appreciating YOUR life and the details of it. It’s all about your mindset tbh.
thank you!! I always think about my Mexican traditions and have always looked at life pretty positively. It sounds like a personal problem for her.
You just wrote everything I thought about!
Agreed. I do think it is worthwhile to point out that a lot of the things we hear romanticized most often are very Eurocentric, but I don't think it's fair to say that romanticizing one's life is *inherently* Eurocentric when there is so much personal variability in what one romanticizes.
@@n.m.dimmick194 in the U.S. white people are still the largest racial group, if each of them has a social media account, they’ll inevitably have the most social media accounts, and most people share things relevant to themselves on their own platforms
i'm really glad to hear that!
It makes me happy to see the comments under this video aren’t just blindly agreeing or disagreeing and people actually are laying out their own opinions and experiences. It shows that people are thinking for themselves and choosing what they believe. I love that.
Agreed!
definitely
gotta say yuh yuh yuh!!
same
Yeah it's obvious that the audience is mature, most youtube comments are people copying other people comments and opinions or overused formulas, glad to finally see a place where people comfortably share their thoughts
Romanticising your life means appreciating the little things it doesnt mean avoiding difficult situations ...
Some of the most poverty stricken communities in the world are the happiest because they are able to dance to music that makes them happy , enjoy simple hugs or conversations with friends ..appreciate the beauty in the nature and their surroundings and enjoy simple nourishing food and find joy in cultural traditions
very true, it’s just ignorant when privileged people spew phrases like “happiness is a choice” online. and your idea of romanticising your life is the ideal take on it but a lot of influencers promote it in a very different way. it often comes off as very ignorant.
I romanticize my life in homelessness because to have the chance to find magical adventures at every turn, in a country where food is easy to get, is a privilege in my opinion. But it doesn't stop me from acknowledging the issues that arise (with others and systemically) and doing everything I can to create change. Romanticization to me is about real gratitude: appreciating what you have and sharing with people who don't have it
Romanticising my life has helped me a lot - and I don’t mean by following the trend to wake up early, work out and prepare a fancy breakfast. I just imagine myself as a character that I would love if I find it in a book or movie - maybe not everyone would like that character, but I would find it really cool. I enhance the traits I like in myself- reading a lot, listening to some bands that not everyone knows, drawing, dressing in a more unusual way, etc.
And by trying to see myself from another point of view, I started to be less harsh on myself about my flaws - I don’t hate my appearance any more, neither do I think not being the most social person is such a bad thing.
And the most beneficial part of romanticising my life is the improvement of my mental health. I suffered from bulimia and anorexia and I thought that my “character” would be way more charming if they stopped binging and purging or focusing so much on food. Also, reading looks way cooler than scrolling through social media - I even deleted instagram and all other platforms for a whole year.
Also, I don’t think romanticising your life is related to trying to fit into certain standards - I live in relatively ugly neighbourhood in a country from Eastern Europe, but i still see my walks in the evening as romantic. Going hiking in the mountains and eating our traditional meals (which are very different from the french cuisine) is also romantic in a way.
I don’t work out that much, I don’t wake up early and i don’t do many of the things showed in that trend, but Im the most confident I’ve ever been.
Omg yes 🙌🙌🙌 honestly romanticising my life the way u put it has helped me a lot too
Yes!
I agree. I’ve never thought of romanticizing your life as following certain trends or achieving a certain aesthetic. I’ve always thought of it as embracing and loving what you already have/do and making the best of your situation. And in your case using it to improve your well being.
Lovely to hear!!!!
this!! I think any type of life can be beautiful even if it's difficult/not perfect, I think romanticising your life is about actually being more grateful and acknowledging the beauty and uniqueness in it *without* having just one standard set to meet it.
I personally romanticize having to attend classes for 10 hours straight, having to follow up to appointments in the blazing sun, waiting in lines, standing in the traffic, doing small talk, falling out of friendship, running late and eating burnt toast for breakfast, attending unnecessary family reunions, bad pop music playing on the radio. It's like admitting what life is like and finding beauty and strength in it.
Exactly, to me romanticizing means looking at your life with a movie pov, how in movies small details are important. It makes me more aware of my life and what I’m doing
I can imagine romanticizing all the events you mentioned except... Bad pop music on the radio. YIKES! I can never romanticize that
I'm also from a 3rd world country, Mexico, specifically.
All of the activities mentioned above don't make me fell in any way romantic. They make me rememeber my group and my own class' struggles.
Romanticizing life is like having enough money to produce your own drama and make it look aesthetic. It isn't about being happier, or it is but it's about being happier through forgetting the real problems beyond those movie-tv show moments.
All of this, yes but 10 hour classes?? Are you serious, I'd k-word myself
damn this hit the spot
Also you can romanticize anything. Even volunteering. Even working as delivery man. Even being not conventionally pretty. The fact that only pretty girls show it on tiktok doesn't define romantization. Author just doesn't understand an idea of romantization. You can romanticize anything that you ever saw in a movie/book which is pretty much absolutely everything 😄
I totally agree. Tiktok and Instagram is just narcissism it's not romanticizing. They are just pretending. Those that actually do aren't doing the ticktock shtick which is a job for them.
It's funny, we ARE the main characters in our lives. Everyone has their own feelings, wants, paths in life and can live as they want.
If you’re recording and posting it to present to others as a guide, you’re not romanticizing your life, you’re selling it. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, just not as genuine as some may make it seem.
Fcking. Spot. On. Could not have worded it better myself
Oh my correct !
Metaphorically, yeah. Though I prefer to keep capitalism separate from attention seeking.
It's performative if you're posting it. If you're not also doing it for you it's purely performative. If you're making money from your Insta / Snapchat, yeah now you're selling your performance.
omg yessss!
Well said
I feel like romanticizing your life to partake in a trend is really toxic because, as you said, it's a performance. Finding small moments of beauty is a more healthy way of "romanticizing" life. Things like a pretty sky or just looking up after hours of studying to see that it's dark outside and feeling content. I don't know if I'm making much sense but the poem 'the orange' by Wendy Cope does a beautiful job of portraying that quiet contentment. It's not as much about going out of your way to make life look pretty for you, but noticing small moments and actions that inherently make it worth experiencing. Further, eurocentric beauty standards have always influenced every trend but it's up to us to choose how the idea of it applies to our lives. Ah I think I'm rambling now djfjs
I loved the video 💖
i definitely am going to read that poem now, thanks for sharing!
as someone who never dove into it and always saw this from the outside this is what I thought the whole thing was about!
Exactly it's not about performance it's about quiet contentment and satisfaction with your own life the litter moments. I would also go on to say it's about reducing stress and working on your heath/mental health.
@@chrono4998 I think that is what most people think it's about!
Please read this queen, they call me deez,
Regard
Deez 🖤
Honestly, I have always treated romanticizing my life as just a kind of self-care. I can get kinda depressed pretty easily, and thinking of my life in more aesthetic terms can help me take care of myself and encourages me to partake in things that I wouldn't normally do that still bring me joy, like watching a movie or going on a hike. It makes me less likely to feel guilty or anxious about treating myself a bit nicer, whether it's finally eating that ice cream bar that's been in the fridge for a month or making a nice meal just for me. To me, it's not about being happy every single day or making every moment count, but just trying to make what little time I have more enjoyable when I can.
i think this form is pretty healthy because "romanticizing" helped me during my depressive times/episodes and also whenever I'm down. I think this video missed some points on that and this kind of situations where one's circumstances aren't bringing themselves some sort of self care trait
Thats what romanticizing the life is to me. Because, above it all, I'm poor, scented candles are kinda expensive here, and as a teacher AND a musician if I don't romanticize my life and do that self care I might jump under the first truck that passes. I've been depressed since little so it's easy to relapse.
There are a lot of girls romanticizing their lives in anime style or in Japanese style in general. It's a HUGE segment of romantization content. So it's not only about European culture.
and Korean style as well, k-pop, k-dramas etc
Exactly, also didn't yoga originate from Asian countries?
yeah but she is talking about the "whitewashed" version of yoga, most people that do yoga don't do it as a religious activity, now when we think about yoga we imagine a white skinny girl using leggings, so thats her point@@villain__9
@@alanatills.pereira9900 yes exactly! i made this point beneath another comment, i think it could even be used to strengthen olivia's point maybe through saying that for something to be acceptable as something that can be romanticised, it has to be the watered-down, westernised version of it
I just watched the whole video and honestly, with all due respect, I think there are a few stretches in your arguments, as well as the assumption that people experience the romantization of their lives like the few tiktoks you've watched show. We need to remember that the way we see some people behave in tiktok isn't necessarily how everyone else acts irl.
The few things I disagree with you are this idea that focusing on yourself somehow = being selfish. That is extremely harmful, and it's just a very black and white way of thinking. I can focus on myself, my happiness, and still care for others. One does not negate the other, and acting like it does can fuel self hate. One example of this is a lot of stay at home moms. I've seen so many of them lose themselves in motherhood and stop being a person because they're solely living for others, to the point they feel guilt if they have time alone or spend time doing things for themselves. They believe this idea, too, that focusing on themselves means being selfish, therefore, bad.
Romanticising your life doesn't mean you suddenly romanticise abuse. As someone who lives in an abusive home, is pretty much stuck here for the time being, is depressed and struggles with motivation quite a lot, romanticising the good aspects of my life is what keeps me going. The moments I'm able to be alone and in peace, the moments I share with my boyfriend, when I get to shower and wash my hair, when I watch tv, when I eat, when I draw, when I put makeup on, when I wash my face after, when I spend time with cat. Those moments keep me going, so I embrace them fully, strongly. It has not led me to romanticising the abuse I endure, but rather it's made me feel stronger that one day I'll be able to enjoy all of this without having to go back to it. It made me see the beauty in life that I couldn't see for a while. And I agree with you that feelings aren't a choice, and romanticising my life hasn't led me to stop myself from feeling. I can't, for I am human and that's what makes us so. It's the belief the bad feelings, the pain; this too, shall pass. That also keeps me going.
Pessimism can be very dangerous. You said that you'd prefer people being pessimistic as possible when it comes to world crisis, like COVID, etc. I've seen, firsthand, people using pessimism as a way to not bother at all. "Why bother, it's not gonna get better. All of the effort you put into it is gonna go to waste. Change will never happen." This can be disastrous. You said this is something that would happen with people focusing on romanticising their life, which does not make sense to me. Sure, there's antivaxxers, hateful people, etc. that could do that, absolutely, but it's not a strong point, considering plenty of people see their happiness relying on COVID being eradicated, on living in a loving, accepting world, all of it. If you believe change can be made and that we can make a difference, that is not pessimism. It's the complete opposite. Doom panic can be really draining, it can make you feel numb, it can make you quit altogether. I haven't felt as miserable as I did when pessimism takes over.
With the beauty aspect, like makeup and such, yeah. I agree with you that people on social media tend to glorify being dolled up and that anything else is bad. But please let's remember makeup can be an art form, it's not inherently bad or does it automatically mean that a bare face is undesirable if it makes you happy to do. One of my hobbies is makeup, and it's fun to put on just as much as wipe off. This one is a bit of a nitpick, but I wanted to touch up on that anyway because I know a lot of people see makeup and auto self hate when its not. It can be, just like it also can not. It depends.
With the "main character" aspect,,, I think you're forgetting main characters can also be heroes. They can help others, they can be supportive, they can be a force of good in the lives of people around them. The main character you describe is a very specific one, and yes social labor can also be romanticised and it has been (which I don't necessarily agree with, but it's a thing). A lot of people feel happy after helping someone, and even if doing good things for self rewarding feelings can be selfish in some people's point of view, I'd rather people doing good work because it makes them happy in return than none at all. Pure altruism is,, extremely rare. We have feelings. Seeing bad things happen to people hurt us, so we try to help, and we feel good when it works. We're human.
All in all, there's a lack of nuance I'd say. A lot of black a white thinking. I'm not saying it's a bad video by any means, and I can tell you're passionate about it, but had this focused on the things it actually describes, like romantisation of abuse, happiness rooted solely in consumerism (the candle and coffee buying, for example), it would've hit home better. Hell, had the video been titled toxic positivity, I would've agreed with most points apart from the pessimism being good aspect.
I hope this doesn't seem like a hate comment. I strongly believe videos like this can be helpful, you certainly opened up a conversation and I hope you keep improving. But yeah, we need to remember that what works for one person, or even a group of people, may not work for you. For some people, realism is what keeps them going, others have neutrality, so on. And none of them are bad, if they don't stop you from growing and evolving.
hey, i appreciate how much time you took to write this out and i completely understand where you're coming from! it's been nearly two months since i made this video and looking back at it, i agree that some of my points were too much of a stretch. but i think the reason why is because while i made this video, i was thinking about the people who gave tutorials on "how to romanticize your life" and those who posted tiktoks of the (as you said, unrealistic) "romanticized lifestyle". i was worried about the message that would be taken away by the people who watched that type of content, especially the implicit, subliminal messages that we wouldn't be fully conscious of e.g., it's true that makeup can be enjoyed independent of the desire to look more attractive, but that's not really the message i got from the online content about romanticizing your life. though, i acknowledge now that i should have made that clear in the video, and although i did say that romanticizing your life is not bad at all when done in a healthy manner, i should have emphasized that more to ensure it wasn't overlooked.
i'm still not sold on pessimism being very dangerous though -- philosophize this! has a podcast episode called "optimism" which i believe i linked in the description box. it's great at discussing optimism and pessimism.
anyways, thank you for the lengthy feedback! people challenging me in the comment section is what helps me improve
@@oliSUNvia thanks for being open to it. Yeah, Tiktok can be absolute nightmare and I'm sure they were being too extreme without thinking, they tend to be this way about,,, literally every topic 💀. And I said pessimism CAN be dangerous. It's happened to me and it was what fueled my depression, the idea that things could possibly only get worse made me want to quit. It's what I see happening with people who spend their times doom scrolling, too. I will check out the podcast, but I'm strong on my beliefs after being on both sides and sitting currently in the middle. Pure optimism without realism and pure pessimism without hope, both, can get quite messy. We always need to keep an open mind to different outcomes and approaches. Life is unpredictable, and to think in absolutes, both purely good or purely bad, isn't productive and I agree with you on that 100%.
Thanks for replying and not minding the long ass comment 😅
girl if my teacher gave me this type of feedback I'd write better essays 😭
Wow. Good job honestly. This was such a great feedback and overall thoughtful response.
@@oliSUNvia yes i agree with what you said about acknowledging that romanticizing your life or aspects of it can be good if done in a more healthy manner because i totally got that from your video but yes i get why some people might’ve not gotten that because the other points overshadowed it.
anyways listening to others’ perspectives always help us grow and expand our way of thinking so thankyou for those videos and keep going!
17:35 what a strange point... romanticising life isn't about romanticising covid or a terrorist attack, its about trying to find joy in simple things DESPITE the problems of life. In a pandemic, you can still try to take walks and cook nice food and look at the everyday magic of nature despite there being a pandemic... you don't have to wallow in fear and despair until life is 'good' again. life will never be good or easy, and no one who romanticises their life is an actual cottage fairy with no problems; we just try our best to see something positive even when it isn't easy.
I find this comparison very far-fetched too. Nobody asks you to romanticise your life 24/7. There's always a time for something. Prioritising is key. To me the moment of romanticing my life is when I get overwhelmed with work or life pressures and just want to take a breather and appreciate my life and the fact that I'm still living. Her being sarcastic in this part feels inappropriate and more tone deaf than it actually is. Romanticising life doesn't mean that we don't care about what's going on with the world. We do, but we also need to take care of ourselves before we can properly take care of others.
I also found it strange when she mentioned “oh you don’t want workers romanticizing their life, taking a little longer breaks, enjoying the sunrise.” Like yes, I do, they are deserving of that. There’s such a big emphasis on “productivity” in this video, but that in itself is based on capitalism and Eurocentric ideas.. Rationalization & productivity culture can be so much more damaging than “romanticizing your life”
Another point I found strange was her point that “oh mental illness shouldn’t be romanticized.” Yeah it shouldn’t, but at the same time there is nothing wrong with having social anxiety. It’s not something “negative that hinders my life & opportunities.” It’s human, I used to hate myself for my anxiety, but now I understand it’s something a lot of people struggle with, and I am allowed to love my life even if I have it. As long as I am working on it, and I’m not hurting anyone, there is nothing wrong with it, and that idea in itself has made my anxiety less in control of my life.
And I agree with you, life is hard, but there is always another perspective, something to appreciate. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with appreciating that, and at the same time there’s nothing wrong with not looking at that positive perspective. Again, we’re just humans, and there are a lot of flaws in this video that should be addressed
THISSS
Beautiful comment
@@rasn I very much have the same sentiment. I work at McDonalds, and I try to just, enjoy the moments that happen there. I'll go outside delivering food, and I'll see the sky and think how beatiful it is, but still getting the job done. I think it's more so a good idea to maintain a balance.
I’m an art student. The only way for me to survive art school is to romanticize my life so i don’t get burn out from so many deadlines. It really helped me being productive but i’d say you don’t have to always do that, just know when the right time is.
Well, if you fail Art School, you know what you can do...
@@MTRON-lq3rx romanticize mass genocide
@@MTRON-lq3rx 💀💀💀
@@MTRON-lq3rx dont....
@@MTRON-lq3rx *raises right arm*
Us as a generation are so immerse in content and distraction that we feel the need to create a reality that feels like a movie.
Well said! Before college I felt like I was just living life. Ever since being away from family being in a lifestyle where everyone is online constantly. I feel as though I’ve lost just the “living life side” and became a “good life chaser”. If my day didn’t include something that’s aesthetically pleasing and I couldn’t post it then it meant the day was a waste. How sad right?
Get off the damn phone
i romanticize my daily life because it keeps me grounded and helps with dissociating. i dont do it to an extreme extent for me its only the mindset and motivating myself to get up
glad that you do it healthily in a way that is helpful! i support romanticizing your life when it's done right
I relate to this, if forces me to be in the moment & appreciate what I have versus zoning out. I’m in a rough phase in my life where I’m working constantly & I have to take tiny pauses of romanticism so I can keep going.
Yoga is not European, it is an old Indian practice
Are most non hindú or indian people who practice yoga doing it the original way or the westernized way?
@@lulufufu7139 As someone who has taken yoga classes India, I was really surprised to see people of all ages and social groups there, not only privileged thin women. And the practice was more centred around spirituality and overall well-being and was not so much considered a “workout”.
Just my experience though, and I am not Indian.
@@myriamb9794 ohhh thats interesting!
@@lulufufu7139 I could go on and on but long story short yes it's heavily westernized. yoga can be done anytime, anywhere with the right mindset. also hot yoga isn't a thing, that dumbass bikram made it up.
I think the point she was trying to make was that when ppl think about morning yoga it’s usually white ppl in workout attire with a very aesthetic background. The focus seems on the performative aesthetic part of it rather than the overall well being and health of the body and mind which is the way that we are taught yoga in India
One of the things that triggers me the most is comparing misery, like damn, didn't know it was a competition. Whenever you try to vent to someone about things that are bothering/upsetting you and someone says "well, it could be worse, think about this and that person, they have it much worse than you". And it might be true but how is that sort of mindset helping anyone? Do we really think invalidating other people's feelings is a good way of making them get over it or shifting their attention to other's misery a way to feel better about their own life?
True
That sounds like “You should sympathize with me more in this conversation”
I kind of have this phase in my life but not totally. I'm just using it as an example or filler thoughts.
You really need more time to find the right people to talk with.
We are all blessed. We all woke up this morning. Thankfully I wasn't dealt a greedy or wanting much kind of soul so I'm content with little. I do feel sorry for those who have to navigate through life with a constant desire for more or better. Seems miserable.
I’m sick of some people chalking their selfishness up to being “main characters”. Paying undivided attention to yourself and your needs doesn’t mean not caring about others. It’s a sick trend, as for me
I can understand why you feel that way. Unfortunately, the world we live in is sink or swim. It’s been shown throughout history that those who are more selfish rise to the top and those who don’t…fall. Just look at Michael III and his “best friend” Basilius. Michael III gave Basillius so many opportunities and gift from money, a glorious career, status etc..because that was his best friend. Basilius ended up betraying him in the end and murdered him. So while we wish that the world wasn’t the way it is and that we can all be happy, sing and dance…that’s just not reality. Still hold kindness and love in your heart, but be aware and don’t show weakness because you never know there might be a Basilius in your life.
I think you’re trying to make connections that don’t really fit. As someone who was abused growing up I still hold the belief that happiness is a choice BUT that doesn’t mean making myself fake happiness in an unhappy situation, it means removing myself from that unhappy situation. That is how I choose happiness. I left. But until I left I made the most of the actual happy times within that situation and I really allowed myself to be in those moments. It’s not like I was like “well my dad beats me but at least I’m not homeless” it was more like “my home life sucks ass but this bus ride to work goes passed the most beautiful park and the driver is always playing jazz on the radio so it’s the perfect time to get some studying in and enjoy this moment because it’s one of the good ones.”
Romanticizing your life isn’t about romanticizing every single aspect of it or forcing yourself to find happiness in an abusive situation. That’s like someone conflating a “healthy lifestyle” with having an abled body.
thank you for sharing your experience, this provided me with better insight :) and i'm really happy that you were able to leave an abusive situation
I was also abused growing up, this “romanticise your life” trend is pretty much dissociation... which is a necessary coping mechanism to deal with extreme trauma. But, it seems like putting a pretty plaster over serious issues, and it becomes dysfunctional after a period of time.
Instead of “romanticising our lives”- why don’t we actually address the root causes of our issues? Ie systemic oppression, poverty, mental illness, loneliness etc- everything that drives and fuels our unhappiness. Instead of “I hate my minimum wage job so I’m going to pretend I’m in a studio ghibli movie” why don’t we actually find ways to divest from capitalism?
I also think “being the main character” is a very bizarre, colonial way of viewing the world. Colonial in the sense that it’s very individualistic. We can never achieve true meaning or happiness from viewing the world as purely an individual. Where’s the focus on connecting to others and community, making life better for everyone, not just ourselves?
The performative aspect of it is jarring as well- and a lot of it seems rooted in consumerism ie buying “cute pastries” etc. It feels like meaningless fluff being pushed out to sedate the masses
@@evangeline9052 I agree and I disagree. I think getting to the root cause of your unhappiness is important but I don’t believe that doing that and also romanticizing your life need to be mutually exclusive. You can get therapy and still pretend your life is a Studio Ghibli movie lol. You can purchase cute pastries and still donate to charities and participate in volunteering. You can romanticize your life and “be the main character” and still take medication for mental illnesses and still care about other people who also suffer from mental illnesses.
You shouldn’t have to choose between taking care of yourself and helping others and the planet. Which leads me back to my original comment that people are conflating “romanticize your life” with “pretend to be happy 24/7 and ignore all your problems.” If anything that begins to sound as if the ideology is only accessible to certain types of people. As if being mentally ill, poor etc. means you aren’t afforded the opportunity to enjoy the mundane tasks in life because if you’re happy about walking to work than you must not care about all the people who don’t want to walk but have no choice to. Of that if you find joy eating a cute pastry then you’re part of the bigger problem of over consumption, as if eating isn’t something we have to do live.
Or in my case, when I was 17 and being abused, finding enjoyment and happiness in taking the bus to work and appreciating the small things must mean that I’m not confronting my situation at home.
Divert from capitalism? We live in a capitalistic society, it’s almost impossible not to participate in capitalism in someway. We have to eat, we have to work, we have to bath, we have to exercise, we have live life. And whether you eat a croissant or a frozen waffle, you’re still participating in capitalism.
It starts to creep into this weird place where we want people to feel as miserable as ourselves. “Misery loves company.” Let people enjoy things. Not every moment needs to be about the impending doom of the world collapsing around us 😅 I have so many more thoughts on this topic but I’ve already rambled lol.
YES!!
@@evangeline9052 I 100% agree with you
just a linguistic note-“romance” languages doesn’t actually mean languages of love. In this context, the word “romance” means of or related to Rome. It’s just a way of denoting that a language descended from Latin.
thats what i thought too.
That's what it means, yes. It's important to know the normies use it as "love languages."
Yeah, the problem is though that many romance languages are just qualified as "languages of love" because of their sound. Most notably French, Italian and, I think outside the US, Spanish. I don't know about Portuguese but I'm certain that nothing dries out panties more than Romanian. I wonder If anyone ever got laid by speaking Latin though, lmao.
I don't think she refers to "romance languages" as in Spanish, French, Romansh, etc. but instead to the quite frequent romanticization of specific languages in Europe, like French, Italian, and to a degree, Spanish. It might be just coincidence that the family of such languages is called romance languages.
while i do agree that acting like "the main character" can seriously disconnect you with reality, there are other points i don't agree with completely. people romanticize what they know or desire, and it doesn't always have to be Eurocentric and can be associated with different cultures. also, some while people take the romanticization of one's life and warp it to mean that you need certain products or services, it normally just means enjoying what you have and what your routine already is. i also feel that you made it seem like romanticization always leads into toxic positivity, which is not always true. i feel that it simply leads you to take in your emotions and, in a way, process them in a healthier manner.
I’m chronically ill, and honestly “romanticizing” my life is the only way I get by- for me it’s more or less finding a positive side to everything. If I couldn’t explain to myself how good things come of me having such awful pain, I couldn’t bare it. I don’t know what the alternative to this is, because in the abusive scenario you described, the victim is excusing another’s behavior. I’m not excusing behavior, and there’s very little I can do to help my situation, but I’m not sure if romanticization it is the healthiest option either.
I feel like this kinda misses the point of romanticising ones life. Romanticisation is about being mindful of the moment and appreciating the little things, not about making ones life perfect, being „that girl“ or that happiness is a choice. It‘s about getting into a better mindset and caring about every moment, not about performing a „romantic“ life.
When you live in the west you will obviously be influenced by Western European culture. This does not mean that you can’t appreciate other cultures. There is beauty in every culture.
This is a great video. Keep up the good work!
She seems to try to say that just because something i european: it's bad, when most people who do those videos are european themselves, like what culture do you want them to make a video about without it being called cultural appropriation
@@reddituser8252 exactly, also most of those people are also white Americans. Them romanticism European culture is way better than doing it to Asian culture...
The thing I hate the absolute most ist Europa is a freaking continent. We are not a country. We have SO MANY different cultures here that are not even related in any way 😭 majority of Europeans doesn't even fit into what is considered Eurocentric. That word is simply so so stupid
@@TheRikkuShak Duh. No one thinks Europe is a country lol. People refer to its culture. Western Europe has a shared culture. Of course it is diverse in each country but it makes sense to refer to European culture as the mother culture of each Western nation.
As a side note and as you mentioned Europe influence, I will add that "romanticizing" your life might come from Europe because in Europe, people work less, have more time for themselves, enjoy little things like good food, moments with family, so I think this is why it is inspired from there. Plus, I think it is not a bad thing to learn these things, because most people in America are obsessed with their jobs and never go on vacation. It is not only the movies/tv shows that shows an image of Europe but it is real life too.
It's a romantization of Europe itself too, to give my country as an example, we have divine beaches, delicious food, a nice and long summer with a sun that kisses your skin into a natural tan, valued worker's rights that put people in general across Europe with more time to focus on family rather than solely focus on work. As a middle class Portuguese family for most of my life, we vacationed pretty much EVERY vacation time which my parents' worked allowed to, summer? You got it. Easter? Mhmhm. Christmas? There's this nice northern town, let's go!
The food is in our side, the landscape is in our side, the weather is in our side, time with family, in our side, sounds like a romantic life through and through. It's why so many British couples retire here in Portugal.
That's where the romanticism ends. Since youth, we have to work hard because university is very strict on who gets in, especially on prestige degrees like medicine and architecture (many which demand PERFECT, zero tolerance for a point off, grades), the youth works hard and gets the medical degree, but then there's no job. The few jobs that exist pay like crap, they go overseas to Britain, France, Germany...
The wages can't keep up with the cost of living, houses themselves become unaffordable for many people in many places who can only work with minnimum wage, our social institutions such as free healthcare and pensions start to crack, many hospitals have closed wards because of lack of staff and strikes, and even if they are fully staffed...you wait at least 8 hours. Pensions, our population keeps getting older, and we keep emigrating while young to work elsewhere. More pensioners, less workers to contribute to the pensions. Pensionists start living unaffordable lives as well.
All the while the politics is appaling, we are too afraid of change, so we keep re-electing what is basically a mafia that steals from us any way they can. Selling a house? But you had 2 houses eh? Naughty naughty, I'll be taking some of that. Buying a car? Naughty naughty, I'll be taking some of that. OH? You wanna drive that car on national roads? Naughty naughty, couple hundred a month oughta do yes?
So let's change! What do we have on the menu? Let's see..hm
1. A right wing version of the current mafia state. Wow.
2. A liberal party that wants to turn our country into the USA with full privatization and unrestricted capitalism
3. A far right party that wants to revert to traditional values of our former Catholic dictatorship that only ended in 1974
4. A left wing party that wants to give free healthcare to animals (the one to humans doesn't work yet as I have said...) and lower the age of voting to 16 yos who especially today have become so much more influenciable and superficial on judging things.
Among others, like a literal communist party that tried a coup back in 1974-1975 when we restored democracy and today defends Russia and its invasion of Ukraine
It's romantic until it isn't.
@@miguelpadeiro762 your comment was really interesting, thank you I was not aware of all this
Why not adapt it to whatever continent you find yourself on?
Nah
people work less in europe? Not in germany, our life is work unfortunetly
I really love the idea of romanticising one's life. the hard truth is that most of us will not live in comfortable luxury or completely stress-free environments--it's all about finding your inner peace and worth, REGARDLESS of situation.
The first thing I think of when trying to romanticize my life is Studio Ghibli and how Miyazaki takes such care to explore quiet moments. I thought it was an early influence in the movement but I could be wrong
The first I heard of it was also in the context of studio ghibli
miyazaki actually wanted this to be one of the points in his movies - he wanted to teach kids that there is beauty in the everyday and in the seemingly mundane
I couldn’t agree more!
some of y'all in the comments are missing the entire point of the video and are seriously lacking critical thinking skills. she's not criticizing the ACT of romanticizing your life--romanticizing is good, because you're finding beauty in the ugly to cope and live a happier life. that's perfectly fine and encouraged. what she's criticizing is the TREND and the way it is portrayed in social media, mainly by privileged people, which can lead others to believe that the only way to "correctly" romanticize your life is by performing certain activities that are not achievable for groups like minorities, low-class communities, and pretty much everyone who lives in a developing country (outside of the american+european world).
the fact that the romanticizing your life trend is usually represented by white, privileged women who are recording themselves living in good conditions and preaching "negative into positive" is a selling point rooted on exclusivity, not genuine advice for someone who experiences racism, illness or poverty, which are struggles that are very hard to simply turn into "positives". y'all need to analyze your privilege if you think the points about exclusivity olivia made are wrong. no one said romanticizing your life is bad, because it's not, but the TREND of doing so IS toxic.
this comment deserves more likes tbh, i got so sick of scrolling through the other comments and just seeing the same argument against this video over and over again lmao
She said herself that she changed her way of thinking so
I think that’s a fair point, but there is also valid criticism of this analysis as well. I think she jumps too quickly to the conclusion that people that post this romantic videos do not care about others or world events and are mostly privileged people. Also a lot of people get a bit tired of everything on the internet being seen as toxic and in bad faith, especially what women do. And as an European I get kind of tired of being lumped together even though we have very different cultures. Eurocentric in video analysis often means Britain and/or France. That being said, I do understand her points that the trend can become very white and for rich people. All in all, I feel mixed about this.
no hun, you missed her point and created your own one.
finally someone understood her/the point of the argument in question
romanticizing my life 100% makes me happier, it helps me do things that i otherwise don’t want to do. got me back into reading, going to the gym, etc. as someone who struggles with executive function and procrastination, it helps me actually get things done. I don’t base it on eurocentric ideals or anything like that just literally trying to find all the good in whatever i may want to do or am doing
I love watching vlogs from Japan where the “main character” (japanese or korean women) bake cookies and cakes, brew their own coffee. I’m not good at bakery but I give a try making sweets and salty dishes with my boyfriend and I am learning making coffee for me and my mom, maybe it is not big deal but I am making bonds with my beloved ones just by making nice dishes or beverages, like those japanese or korean women do just because they show off their romantic lives
I think one of the biggest problems with "romanticize your life/I'm the main character," is the notion that you always have CONTROL. Something I learned in dialectical behavior therapy was that, sometimes you have little control in your life and you must accept it instead of fighting it. Throwing money at your lack of control, or pretending you are more important than others does not solve the problem. I believe truly "romanticizing your life," would be accepting all of your emotions and circumstances and validating them.
@Ryan Alex I never said you have no control. I said you must accept situations that you cannot control.
But you do have control over your life. You just are not aware of your powers
@@futuristiccat5636 I never said you didn't. I said in some situations, you do not have full control. Please put down the pen, and pick up a book sir.
@@Naranylla That is true, in this 3D matrix unfortunately. We will be free one day though. I read many books, sir.
@@futuristiccat5636 How unfortunate for you. Trying to fight reality will only result in suffering.
I think romanticizing our life is actually pretty nice idea. It was something my therapist suggested when I was dealing with terrible depressive episode. I absolutely hated my life. I couldn't get through mundane tasks such as brushing my teeth. I wasn't able to get out of bed most of the days. I was despising myself for not being able to just wake up and live my life like everybody else. Being the main character of my life helped me so much! I was always thinking about what I can do for myself, what would my character do to feel better. It was making my bed, brushing my teeth, making beautiful breakfast. Dressing the nicest I could, pampering myself every step of my recovery. I mean. Romanticizing my life saved me. It showed me that life doesn't have to be full of victories to be beautiful. Living simple and in the moment is what makes life great.
This seems like it fundamentally misunderstands what the romanticizing your life thing is (though, admittedly, I can see how someone would come to make that mistake). For example, with the dog washing thing it’s not ‘if it’s not romantic it’s not worth doing’, but rather ‘there is beauty to be found in the small uncelebrated tasks of daily life’. Most of the issues cited here are problems of toxic positivity, which are not inherent to this movement.
As someone with social anxiety and depression I can honestly say it’s helped me so so much. The attitude is not ‘I must make my suffering beautiful and focus on my good grades’ but rather that I can be an active participant in life rather than just going through the motions passively. Putting together an outfit that makes me happy rather than just grabbing jeans and a T-shirt, taking my book to the park rather than just reading at home cause it’s easier, putting together a themed playlist when I have to make a long drive. It’s taking the time to set up an altar for day of the dead and baking pan de muerto rather than leaving the apartment undecorated cause ‘no one but me is going to see it anyways’. Obviously, that’s not a replacement for therapy and comes down to what YOU like and what makes YOU happy. Someone who sees darling desi’s video and comes away thinking that the only way to romanticize your life is to copy her would be, I think, misunderstanding the point of her videos.
"do you want amazon workers to take longer breaks and enjoy their coffee? no, because we need our packages delivered quickly" this along with the context of how amazon workers are mistreated constantly is extremely ironic. especially after the section about self-centeredness. yes, amazon workers do not have the privilege to romanticise their lives, but that point would have been better made had it been talking about the certain privilege people have to have to partake in whatever whimsies romanticising your life entails, along with the people with abusive households etc, to point out the exclusivity of the movement as a wholly middle class privileged thing, instead of going off on how the world "relies of people" and therefore people cant romanticise their lives just because other people need them to send a package.
Romanticizing my life is really useful to me. I have depression and I often struggle to do everyday tasks like showering. “Romanticizing” that shower with candles and nice smells can be the thing that finally gives me the motivation to go do it. I understand the points about avoiding selfishness and not romanticizing mental illness or abuse, but I also think looking at the little things from a different perspective, focusing less on productivity and more on happiness, etc. genuinely do make my life better.
i agree ♥️
when i was depressed it helped me too !
samee
Me too
Psychologically speaking, that's honestly one of the$ functional behaviours that can help you combat depression. In operational terms, it's called "savouring". Keep doing what you're doing
Yesss me too I can only get things done if I romanticize it
I don't think there's anything wrong about romanticizing your life in the middle of a chaotic world where so much is happening and big things look awful. It's only wrong if you take it to a extreme.
The best way in which i romantize my life is writing a diary. I fantasize with the idea of publishing it. I know it is not that simple but i'll always have it for me and my close friends anyway.
It is full of stories about my family and girls i have liked. And trust me, there's a lot of hard stuff there. But i embrace that sadness and remember i'm a human and it's part of the story to go through hard stuff.
I like this trend, it helped me. But i like to approach it with conciousness. There's no black and white. It was interesting to listen to your opinions.
i agree, that's why i said that i think romanticizing your life definitely has value to it, but i just think that the way a lot of people have been adopting it is the wrong route. i enjoy writing journal entries too! it feels cathartic to know that my words have been released into the world and that the possibility of my words being read has now been achieved -- even though i know no one will read it!
Honestly, there is nothing wrong with romantising your life as long as you not completely delusional and out of touch with reality everyday single day of your life. Adding even a little bit of Romantisim to your life can spice it up a little and brighten up somebody's day as it can cause you to view to the mundane things in your life as positive and you learn to appreciate the sentiment behind every task you complete. Romantism can also motivate you to complete anything as it will appear as if the things you do in life is fun and zealous and you will have the energy to do so since it can cause you feel happy and energised.
Of course this is just my opinion and you can disagree with it if you want 😊
Interesting how doing yoga is suddenly eurocentric.
that is not at all what she said but alright
i think this could even enhance her point about eurocentrism, or maybe inspire a tangent about how yoga has been co-opted in the west as a trend when most western yoga instructors don't take the time to learn about the roots of yoga in india; furthermore, i think that practising yoga in the indian way and using the sanskrit words to describe the poses etc. are also something that would not be accepted as part of romanticising your life. rather, the "acceptable" version is a more westernised one where you think of the stereotype of a white girl wearing leggings and saying namaste (very badly pronounced) while drinking her matcha at her 10am yoga class where the instructor has no idea about the origins of yoga
I felt like she was on the verge of making an interesting point when she started talking about eurocentrism, but then she steered away from it!
It's true that Romanticism is historically tied to European tradition, since it relates (at least etymologically) to the Romans. Though today we aren't confined to historical enactments of romanticism! So despite her claims, a modern romantic can absolutely find value in tai chi and mung bean soup! More than anything, I found her claims to be a sad reflection of our generation's unnecessary tribalism.
@@Jack.Straitexactly. They went from wanting to appropriate European culture to appreciating their own culture which is great. But as a result, I noticed American Asians have grown resentful of European culture and want to paint everything European as racist. It’s ridiculous. I never even thought of yoga as a European practice, that’s so ignorant but, it’s clear that’s what she thinks.
great video! tho as an asian living in asia i’ve realised that the videos about romanticising ur life aren’t “western” or eurocentric at all. maybe it’s a bias that some poc who live in america may have. moreover, if u don’t like a trend, change it!!
i feel that this trend makes me feel more content about myself and thinking too deeply about all this would only hurt me :) if something is rooted in a european concept i think it’s not wrong that it starts off with eurocentric depictions. people can always alter or add to it
that's true, i think it's great that you've taken the liberty of adjusting the trend to fit your lifestyle! i love that idea :) i just think the influencers/people that give "tutorials" on how to romanticize your life, do so in a very eurocentric way and it can lead poc who aren't as confident in their own culture as you are to be assimilated into that eurocentric mindset
@@oliSUNvia i agree!! and i think that just leads us to how we need more poc influencers too lmao
this is so true! when thinking about romanticizkng my life, i actually want to focus on my asian heritage, western ideals only come to mind if i actually enjoy them. but then again i havent seen many of these so called tutorials, there is only a vague idea in my head
I totally agree!!
@@oliSUNvia you're insinuating that just because it's eurocentric it's wrong ??
Not going to lie, when you asked about the amazon workers taking walks/drinking coffee, my answer was "yeah, that sounds nice and I want others to have those nice things." People forget workers are also people, and I get it's their job, but people deserve to have nice times even in the worst of situations.
I thought the same thing!
@@pinkaltercation next day? Typically not. And I've limited my amazon usage (not counting amazon music) so much that I think I've only ordered from them a total of 5-ish times this year. And that was only do to having to get something last minute that I couldn't wait for any other online shop to deliver.
I don't think I've ever chosen next day, though. I like to condense the boxes. (Even though they don't always do that).
That wasn’t the point she was making. Certain people have the privilege of taking a coffee break and a walk. Amazon worker have to fight for the right to pee. Its not equal at all
@@pinkaltercation I dunno, I generally don't agree with arguments about individual consumer choice. If we believe that workers should be treated as humans [they do] and that the current implementation of "next day shipping" systems is causing harm, then we should treat that at a systemic level. Also considering that logistics work as a whole [rail, cargo, last mile delivery, warehouse work] is generally intensive physical & mental taxing form of work, so this really isn't unique to Amazon [and thus inescapable by consumer choice alone]. We need to be pushing for and supporting union efforts and making it clear to government officials that we want 21:27 STRONG labor protections and regulatory bodies with teeth. Corporations are amoral and will fill the legal space we give them while they pursue profit.
Thing is it's same at any warehouse. I live in the UK and people also protest against Amazon workers conditions and stop buying from it for this reason. However, I've worked at many other warehouses like supermarkets, toys companies, electronics etc. And they all have same conditions sometimes even worse than Amazon. But people can't stop buying foods, or stop buying from all popular brands. It doesn't make sense to pick up one brand and boycott it while buying from other brands that do the same thing.
The eurocentric part is just in your head. Me personally, when I imagined a romantic life, had a completely different image than you described. It depends on the person
i don't know if that's true, it's also associated with what images are being promoted online, which i have only ever seen as eurocentric
@@laurabid not everyone sees the same things online
it's important to realize the commentary in the video targets the current mainstream image of romanticism, which differs from your view of it
@@psychott6 By what definition of mainstream? In what social group?
Idk maybe on instagram aesthetic posts lmao but thats hardly the main stream of the world
@@laurabidthe English results are all euro-centric? Real Shocker.
This girl has a serious issue with Europeans
As they should
@@Mooniwa Who’s they ?
@@MtiuliBichi Olivia lmao
@@Mooniwa And why she should have issues with us ?
@@Mooniwa What are you talking about. And why do you refer to her in plural..?
Yoga is Indian. Please don’t put it in a Eurocentric box, because it’s a 100% Indian and therefore Asian (as is tea btw)
Also I get some of your points but this is such a negative take. Romanticising your life can help people living in the moment. Having a cup of tea in the morning after doing yoga and taking your time for this is certainly a lot healthier than scrolling on social media while wolfing down your breakfast.
I think she meant that yoga has become really popular within western white people and they practice it quite often. Some only because of its popularity, other few people because they do know the cultural meaning behind it, who knows. The point is taking aside its origin its a popular practice in Europe, and it became romanticized because of it. And people when think about yoga sadly see the European romantized version and not the original Indian mostly.
Exactly people in the comments saying if Europeans do something from pos it would suddenly be cultural appropriation and defending them when it is absolutely true that europeans and west in general ALWAYS APPROPRIATED THE COLONISED CULTERES
@@katitadeb their is nothing wrong with practicing yoga only because its popular as its healthy. Idk why y'all do this shit but I do agree with the rest of your thing about people seeing yoga as european
Definitely! This is exactly what bothered me as well. Yoga has been turned into/treated as something belonging to Western women and what not. People will say things like "namaste" with 0 actual awareness of south asian culture.
@@yimingsofyiaxuefan4641 I've never said it was something wrong dude. I'm on your side actually. If people want to practice it do it, just pointed out the reasons different people might do it. But it is better when you are informed about it and talk and spread its Indian roots, like giving credit to an artist.
I don’t understand why there has to be something wrong with everything. Romanticizing my life has really allowed me to see life at a more positive perspective. As someone who has dealt with depression for years this has honestly helped somewhat
I agree! I feel like this is a bit of a stretch. There’s nothing wrong with being present in the moment and enjoying it. And there’s a difference between enjoying the moment and posing for social media.
Then don’t watch videos like this, if they don’t align with your personal beliefs
i don’t think you understand what she’s saying bud.
I mean criticism offers insight, right? Even if you disagree with the conclusions because living in such a way makes you happy (which is totally valid!), you might still be able to glean something from the points she’s making - and your (also valid) critique of her critique her might offer insight as well! (such as “maybe not everyone means ‘romanticize’ in this sense” or “but this works for me and so makes it clear that it can work for some people and isn’t unequivocally problematic!”).
I guess my point is that, yeah, maybe if something works for you it sucks to see it criticized, but it might offer insights for some others of us, and maybe your added critique (“meta-critique” we might call it) might add something as well! So I guess it’s all valid is my point? I’m losing track of what I’m saying oop
Romance is a spell on the brain. Gotta be ready for every level in the game. Some levels require romance to win others need some aggression and ugliness. Its all just abilities for the right boss fight. Whos the boss you might ask? You. How are gonna overcome this one? Pick your poison and get into it
you literally have been helping me so much recently. your video essays are really thought provoking and resonant
I'm not sure the eurocentrism part has any merit. For people living in Europe and possibly USA and Canada, the "eurocentric" aspect is just part of their culture. I'm sure people in China romanticise bubble tea and Hot Pot.
Source - A European
Also Bartolomé de las casas is from Spain so he will also be in the category of eurocentrism
@@pabloaulestia6310 I think she's talking more about the european countries which had more impact on north america. Bartolome de las Casas talks about the issues of the colonization of América. If whe think about it, France and England had more influence on Canada and USA
I don't understand where most of you went to find this definition of "romanticizing your life" from. Romanticizing just means seeing things from another prettier perspective and giving appeal to it... It never was about europe or whatever, it always was about making things in a way that suits you and when you phrase it you enjoy the sound of it. You can read, drink, or do whatever activity as long as its productive and you enjoy it, then when you look back on it you feel that you made an ephemeral moment enjoyable for yourself, and you feel the same kind of feeling fulfillment that you would have after finishing the chapter from any book. The word romanticizing just looks pretty and was associated with beauty, and social media just went out of their way to make it aesthetic driven, but the statement itself makes sense on its own.
also i rewatched the video and i have something else to add:
Romanticizing your life isn't egocentric either. Giving value to your lifestyle isn't wrong and pleasing yourself isn't either. You have to understand that at some point in your life, wether it be your friends or family or anyone, relationships have got their parts of shackles and obligations, society makes us do thing wether we like it or not, making ourselves less important because we do have to submit to this. In such a world where have to do things for others, focusing the attention onto ourselves is not a bad thing, we're the own protagonists of our lives, we've got to pay attention to ourselves more than anyone else. Love and care for others will obviously appear wether we like it or not because we already exist with feelings.
+ for the exclusivity part.... well i think that Romanticizing your life is middle-class / poor people oriented, not government officials oriented, bc they can do whatever they want anyways unlike us so they don't need to resort to this method.
Romanticizing is switching perspectives to feel better, it's to make the most lifeless moments more bearable. This is not about disconnecting yourself from the world either, it's to make events and dark periods of your life more digestible in the present. If you've got an illness of some kind (mental or physical), issues with your family or friends, you've got debts or whatever struggle, romanticizing is here to give you some ups in your downs. Of course if you have a death threatening issue you're not going to take it easy you'll take care of it asap, but if you have a struggle in your life in the long term of your life... well you need to cope with it in some way.
By the way amazon workers are counted into the demographic of people who need more rest if you ask me. Not only the wages are not even that high for that tast, but workers in factories get their mind deteriorated bc of repetitive movements and poor working conditions. (I suggest you take a look into the latest scandals of Amazon workers not being allowed to take breaks, and then you tell me again about them needing to be efficient. Those are people, not machines.)
Trust me someome who gets a job does not take it lightly bc there's money involved, especially in Amazon, but a peaceful break to ease the mind really isn't harmful at all, breaks are important for efficiency.
i agree
This!!! I was so confused on her perspective of this concept was and how others viewed it cause I never saw it in that way--it was interesting nonetheless
This video is giving me weird vibes..
@Lauri London I know what the word Eurocentrism means yes but i said that the main sentence wasn’t made with European influence, i said that TikTok took the sentence and associated it with its idea of what it meant
I can't believe I wasted my time reading the utter shit you wrote
Yes but have you considered that 'resting your head on the window when it's raining' might be an experience that's shared among humans and not something that movies invented? The emotions tied to a gloomy sky and rain have been well documented over the centuries and the weather affects us psychologically... what you see in movies and read in books is the summary of, what inherently are, human experiences anyway. It would be very bold to assume that nobody ever gazed at the rainy sky longingly before hollywood 😅
Movies were created by humans as well. It’s not like fiction is based on reality, right? 🙄
I don't know what y'all feel but resting my head on the window makes me feel uncomfortable
@@annisarahimahbasri666 what about a nice pillow specifically for doing that? Like one of those neck sausages
@@annisarahimahbasri666 ikr I mean it shakes as well lmao
Art imitates Life or Life imitates art
I see the concept of "romanticize your life" as a "enjoy the journey, not the destination". I think it's more about appreciating the little things in life and being content with what you have. I also see it as a way to overcome difficult moments by taking small steps at a time. Romanticizing life helped me live in the present and be more self-aware. It also helps me get things done, especially when I dread them. I liked the video and the way you mentioned both what you liked and the flaws you saw in this trend.
you only touched on this saying briefly, but "i don't dream of labor" is something i both agree with and i don't. i don't dream of compulsory labor. if i lived in a moneyless society, i would still want to teach. that is labor. i dream of labor, but i do not dream of labor in this society.
My friend fell for this lol, now she’s sad bc she couldn’t accomplish half of the things this trend demands.
i hope your friend finds her way back to a lifestyle she is content with xoxo
@@oliSUNvia thank u so much 💗💗💗
NO HAY NADA MAS DIFICIL QUE VIVIR SIN TI
@Choochoo choo This!! exactly. I feel for people who took this concept the wrong way with feeling the need to change their lives to fit an aesthetic/trend that doesn’t make them happier or more at ease.
@@user-be3iu9vz4s ti ,quien ?
Saying that eurocentrism is an issue then mostly naming non-european things (Starbucks, yoga etc.) is kinda funny ngl. Especially because it's kinda just based on what you think of, yknow, which is kinda up to you. As a woc for me my own culture comes to mind regardless of if I'm trying to romanticize it or not.
Ps. Plus i disagree with the example of like political figures bc obviously that's not like us everday ppl
maybe the word is white western rather than Eurocentric.
@@eypu999 Nah neither. I've lived in Japan and don't worry, I had no issue romanticizing my life.
I'm no good It’s also more about money , people that don’t have money wil definitely find it hard to romanticize their life because you can’t romanticize poverty
@@monica6572 Disagree, I'm not fortunate at all and still try to find joy in the simpler things
@@monica6572 it is possible. the way i cope by living in harsher conditions is, well, romanticizing
she did not just say that we romanticise european languages bc they are "romance languages" 💀💀💀💀💀💀
I have seen people romanticize Japanese and Korean more than any European languages 💀
Have you heard of Google? They literally are called “the romantic languages” …..
@@femcel-gooner often those people are really into Japanese women, and korean men. Are they not?
I don't think she's that wrong, in my country I've always seen people relating european languages to a classy, beautiful and pleasant lifestyle, like the ones seen in romantic novels, poems, media etc.
@my socks I'm from Brazil (to clarify we speak Portuguese which technically is an european language, but what I mean is that they romanticize French, Italian and British English mostly)
Romanticizing my life is what has saved me as I deal with a disabling chronic illness. My mobility is limited and i am in constant pain. But… I am also an artist and someone who deeply appreciates beauty. For me, romanticizing my life means spinning in pretty dresses, taking extra time to get ready, smile more, display my jewelry, blast music, work on puzzles. Pretty much just cramming my schedule and environment full of beautiful things that bring me joy. ◡̈
Romanticizing my life has been so beneficial for my mental health. I didn't see it as trying to live up to some sort of expectation but rather just finding beauty and enjoyment in the little things in my daily life. I use to spend all day in bed scrolling mindlessly through my phone. I did this everyday for so long that it caused me to become depressed. Romanticism motivated me to take better care of myself. I would actually get dressed for the day, go on long walks, make nutritious meals for myself etc etc. It actually really helped me to learn self love/self respect and how I am worthy of doing these things for myself.
i find that watching others romanticise their lives brings me motivation to do things that i often i have trouble doing because of depression. eg. getting up to eat a healthy breakfast rather than just coffee or in some cases nothing, or getting dressed in a outfit i enjoy rather than staying in my pyjamas day in day out. i definitely don’t agree with the values it promotes but i do think it can be beneficial to some people struggling with mental illnesses to have role models that motivate you to care for yourself.
Sameeee!
same thing here
I've never been diagnosed with mental illness but I do have those can't be bothered attitude towards everything self care. How do you do this? Did you just force yourself to do that?
@@vnnbguhg9853 watching others get up and take care of themselves helps like i said in this comment but also making lists for small things to achieve really helps as well as being able to have a partner, parent or friend to check up on you. i guess overall the first step would be getting yourself do a small task and just try and continue on from there and if you can’t that day, you accept it and try again tomorrow.
@@vnnbguhg9853 sorry it took so long to reply btw ;(
this was so good and so on point. i especially felt the one with feeling like you have an audience. i remember a time when i was younger and more innocent and life didn't feel like that. it feels weird but it's hard to shut down. and the thoughts you had about romantizising your life is spot on - it's so wrong to go to extreme lengths like feeling that way about serious issues in one's life. you put it so eloquently.
So I used to have trouble falling asleep, but now I make my bed, and make sure I'm comfortable when I'm falling asleep in general I just try to make more of a deal of it. This has helped me incredibly. To me romanticizing just means comfort. While the points you brought up are valid, I think those only apply to certain ways of romanticizing, and there are better ways
im from a 3rd world country and romanticizing my life has made me appreciate life so much more. of course it doesn’t suddenly erase our problems we literally see it everyday but its made life here a little more tolerable. not everything has to be deep or rooted in -ism. and not everything has to be labeled as “toxic”. what a lame gimmick.
Exactly
No wonder. Just typical Americans.
yall really be finding something wrong with everything; from vsco girls to moodboards on twitter. some people just like looking at pretty pictures. there is nothing wrong with wanting a nice life for oneself filled with books and cafe dates and whatnot. sometimes reading too much into something is not a good thing. it is at least better than the self-deprecating "relatable" jokes. this type of content is actually motivating.
I share the same viewpoint!!
These girlies are so sad!! So much for women empowerment but once women do what they want, whatever may be the way when most of the time they aint hurting anyone at all, these type of girlies come complaining about every. little. thing.
Oh God forbid women wanting to do yoga (indian), eating croissants (french) with a matcha tea (japanese) and to later engage in taking care of themselves with a 10 step (korean) skincare routine.
I share this motif
Literally 😩
I feel like it's important to read into things sometimes. Bc if something that supposed to make your life easier and more content just suck up all your energy it's time to reflect on it on a deeper level. Realizing that instead of appreciating little things in your life you just spend your money and time on making it pretty for other people bc that's how it it in the world of social media is important. It reassures you that you did nothing wrong it's just not something that was meant to make you feel better at the first place. A wonderful concept with terrible execution...
I think the general idea of romanticising your life is really to accept the twists and turns of life as part of the journey, while also making time to stop and smell the flowers. however, I agree with most of the main points in the video critiquing social media's one-fit-for-all representation of an idealistic life; it really puts a mould and an unrealistic pressure to what happiness can and should look like.
also, I feel choosing happiness even in the darkest of times doesn't necessarily mean you need to sugarcoat the negative experiences you're going through, but rather accepting that it is part of the package of life and the sheerness of existence means so much more than the physical external circumstances you're going through. essentially optimistic stoicism > rose-tinted romanticism
Olivia, these videos are incredible. After watching a couple, they all take complex philosophical ideas and work it seamlessly into modern life in an easily-digestible manner. After every video I’ve watched I’ve felt more educated and open-minded, so thank you.
love the video but can't agree with the part about eurocentrism. as a european, i dread listening to people describing the whole continent by mentioning France, Germany and mabye UK. somehow i don't see how slavic cultures and languages are "romanticised"
i think traditions from slavic culture have definitely inspired cottagecore which is something many people associate with a romanticized life, but you’re right that slavic culture is nowhere near the way french, italian, nordic life, etc. is romanticized. i should not have generalized all of europe like that, thank you for correcting me!
@@oliSUNvia feels like orientalism but applied to Europe lol
Saaaaaaaame. Most Americans can't even tell our different cultures and languages apart. And fairy tails being eurocentric is just... Most of them (the popular ones) originate from Germany or eastern European countries like Russia, Poland etc...
I agree that there is a ertain central theme within "european" culture, but I like to oppose the idea of eurocentrism with the idea of white privilege/ supremacy and colonialism.
It is definitelly white and christian, but not so much european.
@@oliSUNvia it's very inappropriate to generalize one continent like that, just so you know europe doesn't have only one culture, that's just as ignorant as to say that Asia is one culture
I agree. Europe has so many different cultures. I'm kinda tired of everything being slapped under eurocentric. It shows a lack of understanding Europe and the different countries in it.
You made some good points but the romanticising your life ‘trend’ asks nothing of a person except to appreciate as much as they can in their life, not ‘being happy all the time’. An Amazon worker can still deliver packages and fulfill their job and romanticise their life lol, the two aren’t mutually exclusive.
Re the Eurocentric point. I’m not going to expect a white American influencer to incorporate west African food/traditions into their videos. The whole point of it is to apply it to your OWN life. The matcha green tea lattes and 6am gym sessions in influencer’s videos are just stuff people like to see and watch. Everyone that wants to partake in the ‘trend’ has something to feel grateful for, even the sun in the sky.
Romanticising for me, is finding happiness and comfort in already sad situations. I have been through a bad abusive past, bad trauma and emotions enough to give me mental issues even as a child. I understand emotions, and you should not always try and find the happiness side when there isn't one. We are humans, emotions and how our brain works are all different. I used to always wake up and everything around me just felt unreal, it all felt as if I wasn't there, almost like watching the world pass by me, having no sort of affect on the world. I now try my best to think "It will be okay, life works itself out" and instead of pushing down my sad or negative emotions, I instead take the time to look after myself and those around me. Life is short, far too short to worry about your affect on this world, far too short to constantly feel as if life will never get better. If you stayed reading this, just know life can be hard, and romanticising your life will most likely not change anything, taking the time to look inside yourself and your emotions will make your life better, being sad or angry or feeling any sort of negative emotion is normal and healthy, just don't let those emotions take over your life, keep that in mind 💕
i love that you always present different perspectives and arguments for different sides, because most things aren´t just good or bad and your videos always make me question both sides
just as you said, romantizing your life isn´t inherently evil, you just shouldn´t carry it too far and keep questioning your actions and what some youtubers tell you
personally, i think that "romanticizing your life" is actually a really good thing, just when you do it in an extreme/wrong way, if everything in your life has to be "romantic" or if something can only be "romantic" if it is something you saw other people, especially in the media, do, it can become problematic
I see how people could fall into the trap of romanticizing your life through a purely european lens. I wonder if anyone completely forgets that the practice is supposed to enhance the existing qualities of one's life, no matter the genre. I've seen people try to romanticize their lives in a ~studio ghibli~ kind of way, or a "coming of age indie film" kind of way
I think romanticizing your life is just another form of escapism: we do it in order to not feel like we are in the real world with real human problems.
This.
YES, that’s my perspective! It’s a way to escape the reality of your general life
Ur Life is really based alot on how u perceive it. What exactly is the real world?
when escapism meets aesthetics
@@spacegirlmp the one outside our romanticization xD
You really blew my mind with this video. It was so well-researched and a lot of thought was put in to every statement that you made. It made me feel a lot better to have my exact feelings put into words. I had been watching these “romanticize your life” videos and they always sat with me the wrong way and I couldn’t understand why. But they always made me feel worse after watching them. This really put it all into perspective for me. Awesome video!💜
You’ve made a wonderful video that grapples with some conflicts I’ve felt in my life and in our society. Very validating to see an analysis of an issue treated so eloquently and comprehensively. Great job 👏
I had depression for years, ever since I was a teen. Recently I got helped, and took medication and since then I'm doing better. I'm not even trying but I ended up "romanticizing" my life. Because after I struggled to find the will to sleep because I was scared of waking up the next day alive, now everyday seems like a beautiful day. I told my mom "give me the will to live and I can endure anything, I'll fall and get back up everytime". So the rain falling, the birds singing, my favorite snack, cleaning my room, playing with my tortoise... Etc, they are all beautiful things straight out of a fairytale. I am not the main character. I am the character who could've died early on in the story to suicide in order to serve the character development of the main character. But I defied the odds and now I can live my life to the fullest. I'm so happy with the way things are. And when you love yourself and treat yourself well, it's then that you can truly start treating others well too.
respectfully, this trend is simply finding the beauty and embracing everyday simple tasks, not about changing ur life. Like for me as a reader i imagine everything i do is adding to the plot of my main character story line 💀
I'm a man of Asian ancestry. I started looking at philosophies around a few years ago as I deconverted from Christianity. I was drawn to Stoicism and Japanese philosophy of Ikigai. Both have helped me become emotionally stable, mature in critical thinking and self control. I'm not saying this is for everyone but it can help organize your emotions and create a enjoyable life without the drama and stress.
This peak of self-care is really hard to achieve for most people nowadays. I tried doing it but I have some inconsistencies in life that are still hard to remove because of the deeper links I have.
But, there's always hope. I have many things to go on in life right now.
Why did you deconvert from Christianity?
@@kimalonzo3363 in a nutshell, contradictions, inaccuracies and just basic instructions.
@@man-yp1gbmaybe you should look into islam, it promotes a very stoic lifestyle and unlike Christianity there's no contradictions and inaccuracies in islam :)
@@nanaosaki2485 no thanks, monotheist have very strict and judgmental tendencies.
your videos literally change the way i think. ive gotten so accustomed to these things that i do not see anything wrong with it, but you change my perspective
as someone who grow up with depressions
actually a teacher tell us one day "you are the main character of your life" and since that I start to stop being afraid of trying things.
So actually I personally think is good not wrong.
i disagree on "if you romanticize your condition you stop wanting help"
no, romanticizing literally helped me stay alive and go through it, it showed me being sad is allowed, being me is still beautiful, i'm allowed to be myself and be happy with it
i'm still struggling with mental illness but never have i stopped wanting therapy
unfortunately i have no access to it rn cuz my country is super shitty
i always was confused with "people do something cuz they think it's beautiful" i see it more as "what you do is already beautiful"
it's just that social media is performative and i think it doesn't represent the part of people that don't post like me
I'm so glad I found another post highlighting this cause I was like...ummm...no? That's why I wrote a whole post about the difference between glorifying vs. romanticizing but romanticizing life itself can give you a reason to recognize that it's not something you want to throw away (which is what some people who struggle with suicidal ideation could really use a bit of- that desire to keep them tethered into not wanting to throw life away) even if it means being glad therapy exists, or that they exist or even giving them a reason to believe they deserve help, hope, and healing
And yeah I DEFINITELY agree with the social media aspect being entirely performative which always skews what the actual message is supposed to be.
I'm very torn on this topic because I'm someone who tries to view things from a positive lens and make little tasks more enjoyable. It's very easy to fall into the mindset of "everything is about me" but at the same time, romanticizing helps me get better at the things I lack. I started a skincare routine and care more about fashion and my looks, but I started to focus less on the well-being of others. This video answered a lot of questions I've had in the back of my mind ever since this all started. Thank you for providing all of these tips!
as someone who's trying to learn english, i need to say: your video is just so helpfull!! Your pronunciation is so clear, love it
Listen, if you feel the need to run out and buy scented candles and European books to romanticize your life, you're doing it wrong. I have absolutely no trouble romanticizing eating rice porridge, tai chi, or three sisters stew, because I can build beautiful narratives around things from any culture, because all cultures contain beautiful and romantic stories. If you have an issue with that, then the problem is your (internalized) racism, and becoming less romantic isn't going to help with that.
Romanticizing your life is not about making your life constantly positive. It's about seeing meaning and beauty in the inevitable drama of your continued existence. For someone who wants to bring up race, it sure sounds like you've never watched any Chinese media, as it is often full of tragedy. What kind of story is happy and fun all the time? Not good ones.
There are characters who are tragic, and characters who are ugly, and who disabled, and who are interesting and impactful not only in spite of those features, but because of them.
Yes, I do want the amazon workers to enjoy their coffee, because they are overworked and abused. If people want them to work themselves to death to meet some kind of ridiculous expectation, those people can suck it.
I do want the government officials to romanticize their jobs and not see situations as pessimistically as possible. If I saw a situation literally as pessimisticly as possible, then I'd just give up, because there is no hope. However, maybe if I saw myself as the main character, as the HERO and saw the romantic hope of being able to turn things around, then I would be motivated to take the responsibility necessary to actually improve the situation. I haven't watched it yet, but I see you have a video about Jordan Peterson, so I can't believe you haven't made the connection between romanticizing your life and the way Peterson says people should take on the responsibility of being the hero.
you're denying the existence of white supremacy ?
@@eypu999 Are you?
exactly. she interpreted the phrase "romanticize your life" way wrong.
@@MasaroZilian do i look like i am doing that tho? no, but you do.
@@eypu999 Do I? From where I'm standing I said nothing of the sort. Also I'm Asian so check your fucking privilege, white man, since you're into that sort of thing. Or is it that you want to believe your culture is superior THAT BAD?
I really have to disagree with most of what was said in this video. Especially the eurocentrism. I think people romanticise the things that *they* like. For me, I have certain places in the world (western or otherwise), foods and music that I really adore and I dream about those and imagine myself in those situations. Also, I dont think you necessarily have to romanticise all of your life all of the time. I usually do it on the days that I'm off work, and want to disappear into my own world. Then, when the time comes when I actually need to be productive or do tasks I don't necessarily enjoy I get on with it. I see Romanticise Your Life as more of a break from "real life". And I acknowledge that that isn't "the real world", but sometimes, just for a while, it's nice to escape and life in a fairy land where you do things for you and no one else.
Yeah, this video took on a really cynical take. It’ll likely just end up hitting people who are already struggling-to question their way of coping even though it generally won’t interfere with anyone else.
You dnt think its Eurocentric because you live in a eurocentric world. I think she makes valid point
the problem i think is that people now isnt isnt doing what they like, otherwise what the society do, and they dont stop to think why they are doing that, and if they are really happy, just like a fad
I think you make a very interesting point. Personally I struggle with dissociation, meaning I also tend to “go into my own fairy land” on a day to day basis- but this is because it is a subconscious mental escape. When you romanticise your life/ go into your head for a bit, are you doing so in a healthy way or could it possibly be a form of escapism?
@@Xaphinoi think everyone can romanticize their life no matter the culture and country
This is a gem of a channel. Honestly. Very interesting talking points and topics while being relevant to my day to day life? Damn. I was in need of more reflective retrospective content... Bravo
i really appreciate you addressing counterarguments at the end of the video, it's a good way to have a more well developed perspective on the topic and for the viewers to get it too
It’s hard to romanticize my life when I barely experienced life enough TO romanticize. All I’ve done was stay home in my room even before quarantine it was the same thing everyday, and I was never allowed to hang with friends. Nothing about my life is fun or happy, that’s why when I’m off to college I hope that I could possibly romanticize it considering I’ll have a bit of freedom
Good luck
That’s crazy and so beyond unfair that your parents don’t allow you to have any such freedom like hanging out with friends and socializing. that seems extreme and nonsensical. Either way I wish you lots of good luck and fun, explorative memories in college!
I swear people try to find a problem with everything now-a-days. There’s nothing wrong with viewing your routine from a different perspective, or even tweaking it so it’d be more enjoyable.
Right? Everyone is just looking for problematic things in every single thing. These "woke" people are so lame and boring
@@user-be3iu9vz4s Exactly. Seeing that there is something wrong with taking these trends too seriously isn't an intellectual take, it's common sense. I really don't feel there is anything wrong with this trend. Romanticizing looks different to everyone, for some people (who have the privilege and there is nothing wrong with admitting it's a privilege) it looks like buying a fancier croissant, for others it may just be changing your view slightly but either way it doesn't need to be dissected seriously, people need to have enough dependence outside of media to realize this shouldn't be taken too far.
Exactly 💀
Agree lol
I know
This is so good. Gold in video form. Everything you had to say is so well thought out, organized, and reasoned. It really gave me so much insight and perspective that I spend time thinking about. I loved watching this video and will be staying for more!
Its refreshing to hear such things, I love opening your videos and letting them play in the background while working on something. Keep it up! Side note, you're stunning, and I love your style.