Y'all are killing me in these comments lol. I love Katniss, and I think she's a complex character and probably one of the most well-written characters in the YA genre. I mention her as "not like other girls" because Katniss says in Catching Fire “other girls our age, I’ve heard them talking about boys, or other girls, or clothes. Madge and I aren’t gossipy and clothes bore me to tears...” (Page 87). Katniss' interests alone don't make her "not like other girls"--that specific statement does (in my opinion). But she is a complex character; and even if she does fall into the NLOG trope, that doesn't mean she's not complex or a well-written character. Most of us went through this phase! And Katniss was just a product of her environment.
I totally get it! Like she falls in the trope. But just because you fall into a trope it doesnt mean you're a bad character, katniss just happens to be a great character (imo) who partially falls into this trope.
Hmm, just because of this one particular line doesn't mean she holds this sentiment or completely fits the trope throughout the entire series. There are so many YA stories that seemingly can't stop really driving this NLOG trope home that Katniss honestly pales in comparison. Still, great video all around, agreed with everything else you said!
Not to mention that she was that way because she had to grow up really fast to support her family. So she probably didn’t have time to be a normal teenage girl even if she wanted to
The not like other girls trope had me in a chokehold for the longest 😩 I feel like the main issue is society has a hard time viewing women as multifaceted, you are either smart or pretty you can’t be both. That’s probably why so many young girls at the time felt like they wanted to be excluded from other women because they would rather be human than women 🙇🏾♀️
"That's probably why so many young girls at the time felt like they wanted to be excluded from other women because they would rather be human than women" Wow. You hit the nail right on the head huh
As someone who is a tomboy I always took on the I'm not like other girls and honestly, I just wanted to be seen as a person and not a woman. As you mentioned
I'm being reminded of Charlotte from Disney's "The Princess and the frog," and I have to say I really love how she expresses herself the way she likes to feel feminine in pink ballgowns and tiaras, without being a "mean girl" or a villan/a competitor to the main protagonist. While her character may be spoilt, that doesn't deny the fact she's a true, good friend to Tiana and even sacrifices something she had dreamed of as a little girl (fairytale endings/the prince) when she realises Tiana had found real love. And she was happy for her and supportive without a doubt! That makes me happy to see :)
YES! she´s one of the first "girly" girl good representation I´ve seen. There is where I learned that being femenine doesn´t equal being a "Regina George" or a "Sharpay". And that being the opposite to them is not being a "pick me girl" or "im not like others". When will we stop labeling and sterotyping every single female personality? let women be!
This is why I love "Legally Blonde" it was so ahead of its time, even before the "I'm not like other girls" phase. There, the ultra-feminine and "bimbo" protagonist Elle Woods although at first appears to only be a ditzy valley/daddy's girl, unlocks her potential and becomes a lawyer, even resolving a case when she was just in law school. The love rival at first was someone the audience hated but then they came to become allies and even friends. All this while Elle stayed true to herself including keeping her fashion sense and fun-girl lifestyle.
Elle Woods, to me, is the perfect character to be girly and ambitious, yet she LOVES other women and supports them! She knew what she wanted and knew her self worth. She clearly was not perfect but she is a great role model that is written that she can indeed be both: smart and a great personality with a killer style!
As a female, getting over the hatred for pink is self care💅🌸 Edit: y'all when I say getting over the hatred for pink, I don't mean making it your favourite colour. I'm saying being okay with it. As a little girl, I developed an intense aversion of it only because it's labelled as a girly colour and anything girly was not considered cool. It's symbolic in the sense of getting over the toxic stereotypes that the society has been feeding us as girls and finally embracing our femininity.
DUDE SAME I never even realized that till now. I just did an all pink makeup look on my ig and the whole time I was wondering why did I so vehemently despise pink growing up. It always was like oh no pink makes you girly and girly is bad! That is such a deep realization!
it makes me mad how if a woman is more feminine then that makes her “girly” or “annoying” or “rude,” but then if a woman is more masculine or more “tomboyish,” it makes her a pick me. what tf can we do at this point?? why do we need to label what type of woman we are?? we are women and that’s all that matters.
Also strong woman are always viewed as lesbians, don’t have any hate towards them, but it’s stupid how a women can be strong, and have a strong mindset, but can’t be straight and date cishets. Like why can’t strong woman date men? Or be tomboyish, and be with a man who loves her, without changing her style to be accepted by the boy. Another trope I hate, is when a woman/girl isn’t interested in any guys, and is assumed to be a lesbian, which has happened to me, it’s like no, I’m just not interested. Why do I need to find every boy hot?
Sometimes I love being tomboyish. Sometimes I love being girly. I feel like society forces me to choose. I love diversity. I wanna be both. Not only one.
YES, same. I will go backpacking one week looking/smelling like crap without a care (often considered “tomboyish”) and then go get a pedicure and hit up downtown in full makeup and a tight dress or go shopping (often considered “girly”). In reality, MANY people are like this. The media just likes to put people in boxes and label them, and then expects us to follow suit. It kills me though because it reminds me of those memes from years ago that portrayed a girl in two different outfits/situations (ie: all muddy from a hike or fixing a car in one photo and then all dressed up in heels and full makeup in another photo) with text that reads: “Get a girl who can do both.” Yeah, no that’s just an average human being with various interests. Again, everyone thinks we’re doing it for men or are trying to compete against other women. No, we’re just human beings with various interests that appear to “clash.” In reality, people are just multi-layered. And even if someone does appear to have a more singular interest or personality, so?? That doesn’t make them any less interesting or valuable. It’s funny to think that people who met me when I was engaged in certain activities probably assumed I am always like that. Nope, and I know they probably aren’t either!
an't help it Same, I have to behave masculine all the time or attract negative attention from men and dirty looks and hate from women, although I sometimes enjoy masculine activities, I am naturally fem and some days want to wear something pretty as it makes ME feel happy and confident, but I just can't because of narrow minded people..
the queens gambit is the perfect example of a girl who isnt just smart. shes feminine loves fashion and doesnt think of herself as a girl within all the men but a worthy competitor! i love that show
ITS SO GOOD!! I love the fact that the problem she has is that she wants to find a companion like everyone else she sees and someone who sees her passions. The reason she is so different from the women she meets is not because they are better than her or she is better than them, it’s that they have people to rely on, they know how to interact with people and she wants to have that. They don’t portray the women in a bad light but rather inspiration to the main character while not putting the main character herself down for her hobbies!!!!!
It perpetuates a modern form of sexism, the idea of a super-woman (as being the only way a woman can be held to the same standard as other men ). Makes a good story though!
@@robinnilsson9487 I'm not sure about Queen Gambit but you definately check out Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries. Basically, it's an Austrailian TV show about a woman named Phryne Fisher or Ms. Fisher who is a 1920s private detective or "lady detective" as she call herself. I think her character is the defination of a strong woman as although she's highly intelligent and stubborn which are usually musculine traits, she's also very fashionable and elegant. In fact, she use her feminine charm or sexuality if she has to in order to gain information or decieve people. Yes, this is a femme fatale trope but Phryne doesn't use it quite oftenly and there's very little "male gaze". Most oftenly, it's her that chases men like she's James Bond.
and there’s also the fact that the “i’m not like the other girls /pick me” girls are considered more desirable because of their lack of interest or commitment to feminine things but at the same time they are not taken seriously because they don’t look super hot (ms congeniality) if we take an interest in our appearance and makeup we are considered too girly and shallow. but we are still expected to look naturally stunning all the time. guys say they don’t like when women wear makeup but find them repulsive with out it (at least in the media/hollywood depiction)
Exactly everytime I say I hate pick me’s I don’t mean people who aren’t feminine I mean people who bring other people down. I mean people who make fun of everything you do But I hate multiple people say to me ‘yeah same, it’s so annoying when girls don’t wear make up or say they don’t get ready’ AND THATS NOT WHAT I MEAN edit sorry I was kinda sick of stereotypes
@@thisiswhathappenslarry Same. A lot of women will make you think you look your worst when you actually look your best just from one single nasty, uncomfortable glance... it’s not okay
Everytime i wanna dress more feminine like wearing makeup, my dad always say’s something like “is there a boy you are trying to impress” like no dad im not doing this for boys.
I always hated that. Like id just do my makeup and they’d be like “no boys are gonna be looking at you” like I really don’t care I’m doing it for myslef
When you wear makeup, you either do it for boys or other girls, because you can't help but do it for other people's perceptions of you. Also there's nothing wrong with trying to impress boys, I don't think you realise a lot of the shit we do is to impress you.
As an extremely feminine feminist it’s crazy how people assume you are desperate for male validation just because you’re dressed girly ?? My femininity to me, is an expression of my proudness to be a girl !!!! hello !!!!! Let women live
@Mike Brown mmm yeah i think so. taste, expression, and behavior basically define your "aesthetic". I mean it's arbitrary because what is "femininity" and "masculinity" but for the sake of the conversation, yes
@@deejin25 uh huh, and let's pretend that were true since you seem to know me so well... what the hell would be so wrong with wanting *some* validation anyway? We're all human and looking to be validated in some way, aren't we?
Yeah, same how ppl call all tomboys pick mes. Like no mf I'm not a tomboy bc I want male validation, IM A TOMBOY BC I NATURALLY AM ONE, AND THIS IS MY SELF EXPRESSION!!!
Another really good representation of a feminine girl who is also a badass is Honey Lemon from big hero 6. Throughout the whole movie she wears bright colors and talks in a high voice but she's also really smart and she preforms the same amount of bravery as anyone else.
Men are so confused to the point where they desire sex for themselves but ridicule women who do. I'm a woman who likes to dress comfortably and I can't count the times when other people felt the need to tell me how to dress. It doesn't matter if a woman is scantily clad or covered from head to toe, people impose their opinion on us. It's normalized.
For real!!As someone who also likes to wear more skin covering clothes,i'm seen as a naive and insecure girl who is afraid to show of her body. In fact, it's just my style. People judge everything women do🤦♀️
Men who have lots of sex but talk bad about women w do the same are MAJOR hypocrites, like buddy its like funding a red hat company while saying you hate anyone who wears red hats.
There's that one saying: In society, when men are oppressed and shamed, it's a tragedy. 👎+♂️=👎 When women are oppressed and shamed, it's tradition. 👎+♀️=👍
Something that always bothered me is that when a man shows traits in media like being rude, arrogant, rich, and popular, he is the love interest who "every girl" lusts after, but when a girl shows these traits she is the antagonist everyone is supposed to hate. I wish people would point out this double standard because it is one I really hate but I rarely hear ever gets talked about.
Funny because I was just watching high school musical for youth sentiment and thinking the exact same thing! Sharpay was portrayed as this horrible person, yet if she was a dude, everything would’ve been fine.
When I started college I loved wearing skirts and dresses. My friend said she thought girls who like pink and wear dresses are dumb and shallow. Yet I was the one got the best grades in class while she’d fail half her classes constantly.
LOL I’m glad to see you’re not letting her change parts of your personality when you clearly don’t need to, and not letting this girl impact who you are, or making you feel bad. Great job, you go girl!
I am so sorry that you had to hear a friend say something like that to you! I have been told similar things as a very feminine teen girl. However, all the people teasing me about my pink and makeup were pretty sorry at the end of the year when I came out on the top of my class 😌
Yes! That's explains me exactly. I LOVE femininity, and one of my friends is super "tom-boy" and anti-girly, all on about how "shallow" dressing up is: Meanwhile, she's the one going out, trying to impress boys whilst also failing in her friendships AND at school, and I'm none of the above, so.
I’m a very feminine, girly girl, a cheerleader, and have a bit of a clueless personality but the thing is I’m not dumb. I get straight As in honors classes, have many opinions that I will never stutter sharing, and much more then my looks and I hate that people think that
Yes! We just need more magical girls in general, where did they go? I havent heard of any new magical girl anime/cartoon in years, did they just stop being a thing??? lol
Sharpay “Get to the Bag” Evans has always been one of my role models growing up. Despite people viewing her as a mean girl, she was feminine, stylish, super hardworking and TENACIOUS. I don’t see characters like her anymore.
@@madeinyusei-8708 entitled yes. But she can’t be blamed for being rich and wealthy. That’s just how she grew up. But she ALWAYS worked hard and was passionate. She put more work into her performances than Troy and Gabriella (who literally missed their first try out audition). And Troy who acted like it was a DRAG to perform with her. She was a little full of herself but she was not a bad character at all... watching the movie again Troy is actually worse than her. Sharpay actually helped both Gabby and Troy
@@genesisrose1447 im not saying she should be perfect, i actually love her but lately people put her in a pedestal acting like gabriella was the actual bad one and at fault for everything, like the audition thing, but she was the one who started the one sided rivalry with gabriella for one dude, tho it's more of a movie problem that she didnt grow a lot during the hsm movies bc they made her comeback to her obsession for troy each movie
This was part of the reason why I didn't like the Winx reboot. They made the characters way more masculine even though they were really feminine in the first, the reason it really bothered me because in the original it showed that you can be girly and kick ass. The character that is the most feminine in the reboot (which is stella) is the "mean girl" who fights with Bloom over Sky.
Exactly! Stella was so badass, scratch that everyone was badass, and they all had an amazing fashion sense. I haven’t watched the reboot, but it sounds terrible because the Trix, Brandon, Techna and Flora don’t exist. Also, their costumes look absolutely terrible.
Yea I hate it when they always try to label the girly girl as the mean one in every movie and show like can we see a girly girl who isn’t mean or the bully and just make them be smart, or nice , like something pls. Also I have noticed some times the Quirky/ I’m not like other girls . character is always seen to be the nice one and also seen to be the victim of the bullying from the girly girl.
I remember when Legally Blonde came out, everyone dismissed it as "a ditzy girl becomes a lawyer the end". I felt I could only enjoy it as a "guilty pleasure". It's taken me two decades to realize that Elle woods is the most progressive feminist character from media of that time.
can we please also address how when a women has a strong mindset and speaks up for herself she is viewed as “scary” or “unapproachable”..referring to the movie “10 things I hate about you”
even in pop culture whenever women speaks up about anything she is portrayed as difficult, rude and in real life she is put as playing hard to get because everything women do is for men
lol but that movie is taken from a shakespeare play.. so its about what society was like in the 16th century or so.. not like we have changed much in that aspect i agree but context is important.. the entire play revolves around kate's behaviour
Also, I hate the tomboy trope and how they make women who aren't girly seem like they have to only hangout with guys and hate other women. Like not everyone who is friends has to dress and act exactly the same
I feel girls/women are mocked for almost [focus on the almost] everything. If she likes games and other "boy stuff" she is a wannabe who falls into the "I am not like other girls" trope. If she likes make up and fashion, she is the stereotypical girl who is dumb and shallow. If she likes studying she is a nerd but if she prefers sports she is trying to be masculine and compete against the boys. How long would it take for us to realize that we women are people of our own. The things we like and don't like and the hobbies we have are supposed to be ours, not for the society's to judge.
exactly, notice how everything with a predominantly female audience is automatically despised. like bts, one direction, justin bieber. everything that is a popular interest of girls is looked down. girls get made fun of for their own interests. i imagine its exhausting
@@lowquality49 Ikr? If you think of 'Mean Girls' or Twilight, what's the first thing do you think ppl are going think? Chick-flick. Althoug I respect the Chick-flick genre, it bugs me when a movie with male lead and with wide male audiences can be seen as a dark comedy but when ppl think of Heathers, it's a chick-flick. Worse if they say things like "Wow! It's a chick-fick. Are we seriously gonna watch that?".
All I gotta say is, I think My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is one of the few pieces of media that portrays both "tomboys" and "girly-girls" very well. Take the character, Rarity, for example. She's the most feminine of the main cast, liking makeup and fancy dresses, but she isn't displayed as weak or stupid. One episode that specifically tackles this subject is "A Dog and Pony Show" where Rarity gets kidnapped and the rest of the main cast goes to save her. The twist is that Rarity didn't need saving, and was able to fend off her captors easily on her own, despite being perceived as a "weak girly-girl." It's like a mockery of the "damsel-in-distress" trope. There's many more instances of this I could point out and more characters I could go into because this show surprisingly does a very good job of representing women without being misogynistic. It's one of the many aspects that make me admire this show so much.
this!!!! and the fact that they all have different ways they express themselves, like how rarity is hyper-feminine but rainbow dash and applejack are more tomboyish, and how twilight is just a nerd and is kind of removed from ideas of masculinity or femininity most of the time. even pinkie pie and fluttershy aren't super feminized, despite having pink hair, or in fluttershy's case, a softer voice and more gentle demeanor which can be perceived as feminine. but they're all still girls! even applejack and rainbow dash are still treated as "girls with different interests" instead of one of the boys or whatever. and they're all friends!! especially rarity and apple jack, who have had specific episodes where they clash idea-wise due to their different interests and aesthetics!! and that's so important, especially for young girls, because it teaches that you can have different interests and act differently, more or less feminine, than other girls, and still get along and have strong friendships!!
Yeees! Also Applejack is not the biggest fan of “Fashion” and “girly” stuff, but she still dresses in the beautiful dresses Rarity makes and owns them. She is still Rarity’s best friend despise their differences and I love it! I love how those two where like a main duo in the series, Applejack was a country girl, she didn’t like to style herself too much, and she doesn’t care about getting dirty. As Rarity she was the complete opposite and despite that they got along extremely well even if they fought sometimes. I specially like the episode where Rarity tries to be like Applejack because the pony she likes, likes Applejack instead. And noticing this, Applejack tries to mimic Rarity to remind her who she really is and why she shouldn’t pretend to be someone she isn’t. It is also represented with Fluttershy who is a girly shy cute girl and whose best friend is Rainbow Dash, who is the most tomboyish out of the group. And even though they have differences, Rainbow Dash never looks down on Fluttershy and actually thinks of her as a really strong girl, and Fluttershy is always glad to have RD by her side. My little pony did an amazing work making this characters without making them dull, and specially without making some of them be “better” just because they were more “tomboyish” (or the other way around) and actually made all the ponies be great in their own ways.
Oh I love Rarity and I think you should add the episode where she was trying to act all country in order to impress tenderhooves but with applejack's help she saved her friend from being a "I'm not like other unicorns/mares"
YES I AGREE SM, rarity is portrayed amazingly as a feminine girl and i love how close hera nd applejack ( who is seen more as a tomboy ) get along so well with each other
"they commit horrendous crimes against women and aren't held accountable because he's got a promising future ahead of him and this could ruin his life" Subscribed.
And of course some whiners constantly moan whine and bitch about MEN being blamed for everything while women are allegedly never to blame for anything at all whatsoever according to said loathsome whiners and it's almost as tho the truth is the opposite of that BS
I remember being young and always being embarrassed to wear a skirt or a dress. Not because i wasn’t okay with my body, but because I didn’t want to be seen as a bimbo. All my favorite teen show protagonists that i looked up to like Alex russo or Sam Puckett were tomboys and cool. I didn’t want to appear weak and lame.
Same. The one time I wore a skirt to a school event in middle school a boy said I looked like a whore. I never wore another skirt or dress to school until senior year of high school.
Maggie Burkart I'm sorry that happened to you, what he said was shitty and I know how much that can impact one's self esteem. I hope you've grown to feel more comfortable with your body now❤️
Exactly how I felt. Boys would always play rough and tease you at the fact that they could just flip your skirt and they would see everything unlike theirs that was properly suited to cover them up. Even crazy teachers get nasty ideas with girls on skirts. I always felt super comfortable and safe on jeans, like I could jump and fly and just be free 'like boys'. I wasn't girly enough and labeled a tomboy because I was "too strong for a girl". I never thought myself as weak so I put my mind and strength to the best of my ability and that clearly made people uncomfortable. Femininity has always needed to something more. Truth is a woman has the power to pull off alot dual traits that ideally men cannot. That's why women were always being pulled back and limited.
@@maggieburkart907 That sucks, I'm not a guy so I don't know exactly how you feel. But that still sucks. There are skirts that can be provocative, but considering that you didn't think it was, and that it was middle school, it was probably more than appropriate. So I'm sorry. As a guy I wish I had the choice to wear a skirt sometimes, just because it seems so stylish and fun, and your legs just get to breathe more.
One that note: I want black (specially black dark skinned) girls portrayed like Elle Woods on media immediately. Dionne from Clueless was a visual icon but to her core she was just the black sidekick to Cher, she had no development of her own, and that trope has been going on for way too long now. (It's also one of the reasons I despise the Winx reboot, Aisha was as ultra feminine as the rest of the girls, she was dark skinned and never was used a sidekick or a ladder to Bloom's development)
Hard agree. As well as portraying Hispanic girls and Asian girls at all. Tbh we need more girls like Elle Woods in general Edit: and Middle Eastern women as well :)
Get into the industry and create them then. There are plenty of black production companies. There are more movies with black characters in the US, than the whole of africa.
That's why "My little pony" is one of the best cartoons for younger audience. There are either "tomboys" and "girly girls" that get along really well and portrayed as strong individuals. For example, Rarity, being interested in clothing, is depicted as hardworking, talented and dedicated person.
This! And I like how the characters are not put into one category or the other, such as Twilight, who isn’t ultra feminine but isn’t a tomboy either. She feels like a real “person” in a way.
yes, someone make a teen drama with an ultra feminine character whose best friend is a tomboy and where they dont want to change each others style or attitude
@@lowquality49 I don't why but your comment remember me to Charlotte and Tiana (The princess and the frog lol) Es lo más parecido que recuerdo (I don't how to say this in english sorry ;;)
"I want traditionally feminine outfits to stop being perceived as high maintenance." THIS!!! As someone who wears dresses most days for the sake of not having to wear pants / only having to put on one garment to create an outfit/comfort, I get "Wow you really tried today," "Why are you so dressed up?" "How early did you have to wake up to get ready?" and "You must really be judging me for my sweats" ALL THE TIME. When in reality, it takes me even less time to put on my clothing and I put no deeper thought into my dress wearing days than my pants wearing days. But women are sooooo high maintenance, of course any woman wearing traditionally feminine clothing must have attenton-seeking motives, be wholeheartedly superficial, and think she's better than everyone else.
yes! why aren't men's suits seen as high maintenance? All those cuff links and dry cleaning and shoe shining and tight ties...in the summer I wear dresses a lot because I'm too lazy to pull an outfit together! I can just throw it over my head and be done :) but somehow looking cute is never seen as something I did just for myself, even my parents will always ask if there's an event or something whenever I'm looking cute. I just like to look cute! lol
Hailee Steinfeld released a song called "Most Girls" that is in perfect contrast to the more recent trend of desiring to be "not like other girls". "Most girls are smart and strong and beautiful. Most girls work hard, go far, we are unstoppable. Most girls are 'fight to win' everyday. No two are the same. I wanna be like, I wanna be like, most girls." That's the chorus and I think it's absolutely fantastic. One of my favorite songs.
And that's true girl power Here is some shows that have real female empowerment My little pony,the powerpuff girls classic,supergirl,Wanda vision,ever after high,monster high,Barbie
Yep. My cousin has said he's interested in this girl but she's high maintenance because she wears makeup...I was like I wear makeup and I'm very frugal...makeup doesn't equal high maintenance. I dress super cute but most of my clothing is thrifted...
And dresses let you wear leggings under them! So comfortable. I now refuse to wear jeans; they actually feel more restricting. People try to say that dresses aren’t as practical but I will race anyone wearing jeans in my dress and we’ll just see who wins :) I just wish people would stop asking me what the occasion is. The occasion is I want to wear a dress because I like how it makes me look and feel.
@@maggieburkart907 dresses/skirts also give me nice breezy ventilation down there during hot days. hate how wearing a dress makes ppl automatically assume I'm girly. i just wanted to wear it, it's not that deep
The most insidious part is that people think a woman being high maintenance is a bad thing. If it was a man everybody would approve of it, and call him a boss
When I was younger, I had a phase when I wanted to distance myself as much as possible from "girly things" like pink or skirts because I thought girly girls were dumb and basic. Now that I'm older turns out I love pink and it feels fantastic to wear what you want without it affecting your self sense of intelligence and worth
Hard same. I used to make fun of my sister for loving the color pink and baby blue like it was personal attack. But now every time I go, I'm almost always wearing either a dress or skirt with heels
Girl I came out the womb being like “I hate pink, my fav color is blue” just because I didn’t want to be “like other girls” 🙄yeahhhh were past that and I like all colors now 🌈
Exactly, I avoided makeup and skirts/dresses cause I really thought I was different from the other girls... I cringe every time I think about it. So much internalised misogyny 🤡
This reminds me of that exact phase in Elementary school. I always acted "boyish" and I hated pink too since I thought it made me look cool and "not like the other girls". I also refused to wear dresses and skirts since I thought they were too "girly". I'm in highschool now and I'm just so glad I moved out of that phase.
when I was a kid I loved pink but then someone told me that liking pink is childish and I'd outgrow it. after that whenever people asked me what my favourite colour is I'd always say something like blue or black and say I hate colors like pink and purple but we past that now
I remember being in fifth grade and going through my “girl, but not like other girls” phase were I publicly decried pink as the worst color imaginable.
@@impish_snake3526 gosh I was just the opposite of you. I was super "girly" then but now in high school, I found out my extreme liking for more masculine clothing that makes my body look shapeless and showing no skin. I never had an opinion for the color pink but I think I am starting to hate it (more preference for neutral and blue shades). Even though I did go through the "I am not like other girls " phase, I now consider myself equal to all girls. I am starting to think I will be masculine my whole life and that thrills me but seriously people around me need to stop shoving me into skirts and tight clothing, lol. Sorry for the rant
u know what's sad?, that the opposite of "not like others girls" are women that yep can fight but they are oversexualized and their combat scenes are mainly shots about her ass and her technique is pressing men's head with their thigs"( talking to you marvel).its like damn we can not win either way :( loved your video , keep doing this ❤️
Not to mention the stupid armor female characters wear in so many movies and video games. Sometimes it’s barely there, while the guys get armor that would actually work against a sword. And when you complain about it, they say that you have a problem with women expressing their sexuality. When that’s not it, I’m fine with some women having boob windows on their armor or whatever for the aesthetic as long as we ALSO get some characters who are sensibly dressed. I want my fighting women to be 👏credible 👏threats, thank you 😊
@@maggieburkart907 I don't get why people think a woman can't look attractive in a regular piece of armor. If it is designed well it can look just a good or even better than the sexualised version.
@@maggieburkart907 Agreed. If they really wanted to do Amazons like in Wonder Woman justice, you’d think they’d research the actual clothing the Scythian women wore (Scythian were what the Greeks based the Amazons off of). And their chest armor WAS NOT shaped to their boobs either, as if it was, arrows would hit their chest more easily and not bounce off like in regular armor. Boob windows were considered dangerous in reality for Scythians.
Honestly, and there's always a scene where the woman needs to strip and use her clothes to save her or someone else's life, or she needs to seduce the villain in order to overtake him like really???
YES!!! I have a higher pitched voice and ive been interrupted multiples times mid sentence, been told i sound really young for my age, get told my voice doesnt suite my face, had someone tell me for 10 minutes how my voice suprised him and how 'cutesy' it is, girls have pinched my cheeks. Im older than all of them most of the time 😞
yes this! i have always had a high voice and I never really thought about it until people- random people just walking by- would mimic me if I was speaking to one of my friends. I also hate it when I’m saying something important then they repeat it back to me in a ultra high pitched way l
@@user-of2hm4yz6h yess this has happened to me so many times. I would get mimicked by strangers sometimes when I’m talking to my sister and would get told that I sound like a little kid.
yes! and the original winx club! each girl had distinctive fashion, personalities, and abilities. and they were better _because_ of it! femininity was presented as unique and powerful.
@@sara-vf5xz yes I absolutely loved the OG winx club. It showed smart, diverse in all aspects, fashionable, strong girls who were different from each other but got along so well. One’s weaknesses were the other’s strengths and they complemented each other so well. The style: awesome, the smarts: awesome. And those were never mutually exclusive. It was great because of that but Netflix decided to make it edgy and make the girls “not like other girls” lol
As a black woman, femininity and me have a weird relationship. From as long as I can remember, I felt like I was getting contradicting messages. I loved barbies, I had a Princess room, I liked wearing barrettes; I had feminine interests. But no one wanted me to act “feminine”, and if they did, it was in ways to *present* more feminine. Wear more makeup, but don’t cry, but also not too much makeup. Wear more pink, but don’t be soft. I was in sports where coaches wanted us to literally be “scrappy” and practically fight but I hated it so much. I didn’t even like sports, I more or less got thrown in it. I’m being told to toughen up in one area, and turn around and ask why I don’t behave “like other girls”. And every time I attempted to dress feminine, everyone would act WAY too shocked, thus making me retreat back to my plain clothes again just so that I can just exist. As a result, I grew angry at the ultra-feminine archetype and just PINK in general because I felt like people wanted me to be that without allowing me to be soft and have, you know, feelings. To be feminine but “act masculine” when I didn’t want to. So I was just a depressed mess who didn’t know my style until I was in my twenties when I went off to college and found ways to express my femininity that made me happy. And I like pastels and pink again. 💕
To add onto this - black women get SO much shit. If you’re TOO girly, you’re a diva (and, tbh, everyone also assumes you’re a slut and a gold digger) but if you’re not girly enough, you’re mannish and angry (and also still probably a slut) Gee, it’s almost like society doesn’t really see black women as… well… women! (Think about how black girls are assumed/described as ‘more mature’ than their white peers, or treated as more inherently sexual or aggressive than other women, even when wearing/doing the exact same things!) It’s really bullshit. I hope you can get some closure/find things you enjoy!
I think this is why magical girl shows (and magical girl inspired media) has such a draw for me. These girls not only are feminine in to their own degrees, but they gain POWER from femininity. When they transform into their ultra-magical-powerful selves, it’s a fluffy skirt and heels and hair accessories. But even the more masculine girls on the magical girl teams, they embrace a mixture of masculine and feminine traits. There’s a spectrum, and all those expressions of girls are powerful.
Cure Gelato from Kira Kira Precure a la Mode. Shes so cute and I love her. Like shes abrasive, loud, tomboyish if you will but as far as I remmeber she doesnt act like her magical girl transformation giving her adress is embarrassing.
I think it's, as the video talks about, putting masculinity (and, by extention, men) first. Men take priority, so women have to shed traditionally femme things (in this case, a dress) to be taken seriously, or even to be given an ounce of respect.
no one deserves to be sexually harassed and there is definitely a double standards in other settings (eg. summer time),but this doesnt make sense cos dresses show more bare skin so it will be inevitavly sexualised cos humans are sexual.
@@lillianforrest628 people will sexualize any and everything. In fact there’s a niche for finding women in suits hot. Even modest garments that nuns wear are turned into something “sexy.” Wearing a dress was considered appropriate when women wearing pants was scandalous, so why is it not respected as such now? Because femininity isn’t as “neutral” aka respectable as masculinity.
I agree that it is important to have more strong, powerful women who aren't demonized for being so, represented in media. But personally I would also like to see more girls who are shy, weak, sensitive or even not particularly smart without being portrayed as either boring/lame/undesirable or romanticized as quirky or cute. Unremarkable girls are valid too!
Being sensitive is a great trait. It is put down because femininity is put down. It’s why a lot of men say “Stop being so sensitive” to women and girls.
@@ima.m.1658 sensitivity itself tho is just seen as a bad trait. Men are often reprimanded for showing emotion. Sensitivity itself should be a normalized trait
yeah I never see someone like me who is smart but not the smartest and who loves herself is weak and sensitive and falls into both masculine and feminine tropes like women are complex people you can't just put us into one trope
@@lunarialoonatic I agree. The root of it is men not being able to express their emotions and being told that it makes you weaker, so some of them put down women and other men who express their emotions more freely, and this sensitivity is seen negatively.
One thing that’s interesting to me is the concept of the “Goth Rebel Dream Girl”. Because the GRDG often is just as high maintenance (if not more) as the Barbie stereotype. She is also almost always portrayed as being snarky, and mean like the “Mean Girl”, but instead of being demonized she’s fetishized.
And if not fetishized, she’s praised for being “real” and not being “pretentious and stuck up” like the mean girl…even though she’s basically the mean girl without the air of high maintenance
It's so funny to me how often goth girls are often given a role similar to the tomboy, i.e. the "real girl who sees through all that superficial, image-obsessed bullshit." Like... have you ever met a goth girl? Have you seen her makeup collection? Have you witnessed her unique dark-lipstick-preserving eating techniques, or contemplated the effort of stomping from class to class in boots that weigh more than her whole leg? We are the highest-maintenance girls, no question!
@@atlf3357 The portrayal and fetishization of goth girls and tomboys have a surprising amount in common because both often fall into the "Cool Girl" category: the girl who likes "cool dude stuff" - e.g. sports for the tomboy, metal/ punk for the goth girl, beer for both - doesn't like "stupid girly stuff" (which is especially ridiculous if you even think for a second about what doing a full goth face beat entails), and is always down to be casually sexually available to the male protagonist (and probably kind of kinky if goth because OBVIOUSLY anybody who wears corsets and spikes in her daily outfits must be up for anything in bed 🙄)
I saw a tiktok the other day from a girl about dressing up for dinner even when her friends told her they were gonna be bummy and there were SO MANY hateful comments from mostly women saying that girls like these are the worst who try to outdo their friends and im just like... she never said that - youre reading into it because you see everything between women as a competition from internalized misogyny. As someone who likes to dress up and look cute and will take any opportunity to do so, If my friend wants to be comfy and casual if I feel like dressing up im gonna because I like doing it for myself, not because im trying to look better than her and she understands that. Thank you so much for this video it really highlighted something that I had never even recognized before.
Right like I really am dressing hot for myself, not to try and out do my friends in getting people’s attention. But yeah others view this as you are “duffing” your friend when that is not the case. I am not going to force my friend to dress up if she doesn’t want to the same way she won’t get mad at me for dressing up when she didn’t.
@@Hannamarin16 EXACTLY why are we forced to dress the same way at all times. If a guy wanted to wear sweats and his friend wanted to wear khakis and a polo nobody would say shit. If my friend wants to dress comfortably and I want to dress up why do we have to negotiate a compromise.
@Tiara Cova girl dress up!! The point of girls night is to have fun and relax and if you feel the most comfortable and confident dressed up go for it! don't let another girl's insecurity get you down
THIS!!!!! You are soooo right. And if her friends were (hypothetically) upset with her dressing up because it made them look bad, then that is the friends’ problem, not hers. Dress however you want and if anyone has a problem with it, that doesn’t concern you because you did nothing wrong and it’s them who has the issue.
@@aquarius_aaliyah_1033 if the friends are uncomfortable with it that sounds like something they should talk about. Obviously it is ok to wear what you want but if they are your friends you should think about their feelings too. I’m a man so I don’t understand everything that goes on with these kinds of things but I do understand friends and I’ve adjusted my behaviour around some of my friends because they talked to me about things I didn’t know made them uncomfortable.
Jess from New Girl once said “ I break for birds, I rock a lot of polka dots, I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours, but that doesn’t mean I’m not smart or tough or strong’. This is one of my favourite quotes
it was always hilarious to me that in movies the girly girl was the bully and the tomboy was the nice girl when my entire childhood i was bullied and made fun of for being 'too girly' by tomboys. it's unfortunate because now i can't let myself be unapologetically feminine without feeling self-conscious because of that.
I felt that way too in school. I often felt looked down upon for days when I came in "overdressed" (one teacher literally told me I'm too dressed up for school once because I wore a poofy dress from Forever 21), or for doing my hair and makeup all the time. Some made fun of me for "trying too hard." Meanwhile the girls who were really athletic and came to school in Umbros and pony tails (because they had naturally straight hair) and no make up (because unlike me they had no acne) never got shit on. They were looked at as cool. Getting respect similar to the guys. It's funny because now I'm a PhD candidate in Mathematics... so all their conceptions of girls like me didn't pan out.
i got picked on a lot for “being a girly girl” in elementary because i would wear a lot a skirts, dresses, pink and just stereotypical “girly” things. the more tomboyish girls would get more attention because they’re sporty and more relatable to guys. when i went into middle school, i wanted to fit in so i wore jeans and boring t-shirts. i felt really uncomfortable and in the middle of my 7th grade year, i had to revert back to skirts, dresses and “girly” things. i realized i was just doing that for the approval of everyone else (especially guys). i really don’t care if someone thinks that i’m being girly or wearing cuter clothes or makeup for a guy, because i’m not, i like my style and i wouldn’t change for anyone.
same!!!! I was a girly almost all throughout elementary school, but it was during 3rd grade when everyone started to look down on everything girly. I remember getting picked on and I wanted to fit in so I started dressing like a tomboy. I only just recently broke out of this and have completely embraced my hyper femininity but I lost so many years of being who I really wanted to be. I have to learn how to do makeup, style my hair, etc. now since I was so afraid of getting picked on again if I did these things.
I have been saying this forever. When I was a little girl I loved barbie, she was basically my role model; fashionable, multiple careers, rich (her money). Everyone looked at it like oh no you like barbie that's so girly, but it was more than just clothes to me when I looked at barbie. At some point though sadly the "I'm not like other girls" phase got to me but thankfully not for long cause I just loved clothes and make up too much. And now I'm very comfortable with my "girly" side but learned how to be powerful at the same time. And honestly I've never been more proud of myself. I just wish the media would convey that to younger girls. It's okay to love fashion, to love make up, to want a partner, and be the strong powerful woman you want to be on your own. This is very long but I also wanted to add that I hate how now whenever they wanna convey a strong woman they make her so against the idea of a relationship and "love". Having a partner doesn't make you weak, you can still be your own person with or without a partner.
I really like how you pointed out that strong women can want to be in relationships, too. The idea that we're somehow less then or that we have to be like submissive to be in a relationship has been something that I'm struggling to overcome. Having a partner can be empowering, and it's okay to want one.
Holy crap, I can relate with all of this. And I agree with you so much. You don't have to be masculine or a tomboy to be considered strong, or powerful. Always embrace your femininity. ^^
Hate this stereotype so much. Because this was me and is me. I was always girly, blonde, a dancer, someone who liked baby blue, dresses and skirts, the arts and theater, sowing, make-up and jewelry making, someone who always knew she wanted to be a mother and a teacher. And so many times I was not taken seriously, mocked with the word "Barbie" in school by guys. I separated myself from this. My whole friend group was "not like other girls". We bonded over Mangas and Anime, Cosplay and TV Series and Movies... All these things that made us "different" didn't make us less feminine. We grew to be very close friends and quickly ditched our sterotypes because we were all still women. We later had fun days were as many of us as liked wore skirts and dresses. And despite me being the girly girl and most of my friends being nothing like that, we were incredibly good friends and still are almost three years after finishing school. Now I'm just a mix of all the things I like and I try not to assign gender to it.
I was the opposite of you as a kid, at least with my peers. I was so petrified of being labeled as girly and not taken seriously at school that I refused to ever wear dresses or own anything pink. I wore all my nice clothes only on the weekends because I didn’t want people to think I cared about my appearance. Most people pick a nicer first day of school outfit; I agonized over which T-shirt would look nice but not TOO nice. It got worse when I got into STEM where I’d be only one of a few girls. When my male project partner complained about being paired with me because he thought I was going to want to make our theme “kittens and glitter”, my first response was to be indignant that he thought I would ever like those things, and not that he was being a sexist jerk who had an irrational problem with cute animals and a “girly” aesthetic. When I started at a traditionally women’s college I suddenly couldn’t find it in myself to care. I knew I wasn’t gonna be in male-dominated classes where I would have to fight to have my ideas heard and respected, and looking more feminine wasn’t gonna make my peers respect me less. I started wearing dresses almost every day because I love looking more feminine, and I really wish I’d had the courage to embrace that side of me earlier, instead of worrying about this stupid stereotype.
Now I was a target of a group of "pick me" girls when I was in preparation classes for law school. I was always a typical blonde girly girl. I like feminine clothes, make up, my room is pink with cute little decorations, I like cute little animals and pop songs. When I walked into class they all saw me as the one who'll not make it. I once overheard them placing bets about who's gonna get into law school and of course they laughed when they mentioned me. They silly couldn't believe that I'm studying as much as them, that I'm not a brain dead bimbo. They always commented on how do I make time to study when I'm out there posting pics of me and my friends with cocktails, how do I study between doing my eyeliner and picking out my outfit for the day. It didn't even occur to them that one can both study and have fun in their free time. One can be serious about their future and care about looking pretty. I was one of the few that got in with a pretty high score while they didn't. They couldn't believe their eyes when they saw the results and of course they had to shame me by saying that I have connections in the uni or that I've slept with someone. Why can't people accept that pinky blonde girls can also be competent and strong?
Tbh, I regret being caught up in the 'ultrafemininity hate' and riding in the 'not like other girls' train. Because of this, it was way too late when I finally learned how to dress myself up and even put on make up. Now that I am an adult, I still struggle to rid my system of that internalized hate for femininity. But I am glad that I am finally learning to embrace the different faces of femininity.
A lot of us are in the same boat. I had so much internalized misogyny, I was a huge "not like other girls" girl back in high school and college lol It truly hindered my self expression and growth, until a switch flipped and I realized that society despises women and wants us to feel bad over everything we do or don't do. And I did not want to be a part of that. Now I love ultra feminine things, I'm nearing 30 & own a ton of stuffed animals that I find adorable, my wardrobe is comprised of a lot of plaid and pleated skirts and I love my pink glittery makeup... And I love it! I dress up for myself since what others think really doesn't matter - life is too short to care, really.
I was the same too..I thought it was a huge compliment when guys said to me that I'm not like other girls. Now I have realised that it's not and there's nothing wrong with the other girls or being one. (Later realised that im queer and I tried to hate what I liked lol)
I agree that the prejudice against femininity is bad, but I understand it. I don't think it stems from either feminism or misogyny, but simply from resentment and our society's knee-jerk impulse toward equality. Nobody likes a "Little Miss Perfect" - or a "Mister Perfect," for that matter. There's always a desire to tear down "superior" people (known as the "tall poppy syndrome" in Japanese culture), if only to reinforce the ideal that all humans are - or are supposed to be - equal. Humiliating the "powerful" is always a lot easier and ego-stroking than building up the "weak." Neuroticism and self-loathing also plays a role. If you're a girl who thinks she's "ugly" and that she always will be, it's not unusual for you to succumb to the "sour grapes" mindset, concluding that beauty is inherently bad and that if a girl is "superior" then she must be a supremacist. Similarly, men who tend to get nervous around women come to resent the beauty they secretly long for, and if they don't have good luck with women they're even more likely to conclude that good-looking women are naturally mean and stuck-up. This is why complete equality is important to me. If you're confident in yourself and not obsessed with the fact that you're discriminated against, you're much less likely to discriminate against others. I spent a lot of my youth reflexively hating and vilifying people I thought were better than me, but I never felt completely comfortable doing it. Indeed, I felt I was being a massive hypocrite. Prejudice is bad, no matter who's the victim of it. There is no such thing as "punching up," because the whole point of discriminating against others is to bring them down. Fighting inequality and injustice is one thing, but we must remember to "hate the sin, love the sinner." Even if "perfect" people really are cruel to you, forgive them, and recognize that they've been cruel not because they are "perfect," but because they're grappling with the same societal insecurities you are. NOBODY is perfect.
ill always be mad at media for making me hate my femininity. i hated dresses, makeup, pink, or anything considered "feminine". i might be questioning my own "woman-ness" right now but being feminine is important to me, it comforts me. and im mad that it took so long to realize that it was ok to feel comfortable in my own femininity
and honestly what gave me the confidence to be traditionally feminine again was Winx. seeing beautiful and kind women kicking ass in heels, skirts, styled hair, and pink, allowed me to break past my "not like other girls" view of myself
Once I realized that I could be super feminine, wear gorgeous pink dresses, do my makeup, be obsessed with Disney princesses AND be a women in STEM, that’s when my self esteem went up. I don’t have to choose. And I love that for me :3
Same! That only happened for me when I went to a traditionally all-women’s college and suddenly I wasn’t one of three girls in my computer science classes and that pressure to act like one of the guys to be taken seriously was gone. Now I’m in dresses every day :)
Yes Queen 👑 I work in Corporate and ultra serious when I'm on the clock, but once my manager kept me company at a mall after our meeting and saw how mad I went for little unicorn dolls and the cute outfits.
enby is part of that deep societal conception as well though when you have to create a label just because you don't relate to two cultural and social boxes.
It’s so annoying when all my friends and classmates are like “omg I hate pink, You know well...I’m like a part of the guys and I love anime uwuwuwuwuwuwuwu.” And they get so surprised when I tell them I like pink, I like trying to draw semi-realism, I wear corsets and I’m just genuinely feminine. I don’t hate all girls that like alt music and are rather masculine, I just hate the girls that think that being feminine is horrible and that being “one of the guys” is superior. And, I also hate the stereotype that “oh if she’s masculine, she’s a lesbian” like wtf? Just because a girl likes masculine things, football, working out and darker shades of colours doesn’t automatically decide her sexuality for her. Sometimes it may be true but come on, I’ve seen plenty of fem lesbians (myself included). It’s like no girl can wear what she wants bc if she is feminine, she is a bimbo and if she is masculine, she is a pick me.
Oh man, that is what I hate about the talk around George Fayne from the Nancy Drew series. She is a definite tomboy but is obviously interested in guys, but a certain section of the fandom will block anyone who doesn't think she is a lesbian. It gets rather frustrating, to say the least.
I think there are two ways to be feminine. One is just looking good, having a real personality and interests beyond beauty and make up, not viewing every other woman as a competition, having ethical values etc. And the other 'feminine' type is this hyper femininity and only the interest to look good and to attract men by being toxic and putting others down. These women over do it and look loke caricatures of women to me.
Third option: " And if she is neither, she's a feminist, because masculine girls behave 'too much like boys', and feminine girls are considered as 'reinforcements of the misogynist patriarchy' "
I am a masculine girl who is a lesbian, but I hate the stereotype that if a girl is masc she’s a “pick-me”. That comes under the assumption that women do everything for men and it’s so weird
I read somewhere that when women say "I'm not like other girls" a lot of what they mean is "please don't treat me like you treat other girls" and that really hit me where I live. I don't know how I exactly I came across this channel but hell yeah I'm here for this analysis and those sleeves!
Damn, I never really thought about it that way...now that you mention it...that’s probably where it stems from...”Since I’m not like other girls, please alter future communications with me as your equal and not your subordinate...”
i actually really like miss congeniality because it depicts a stereotypical “not like other girls” character who learns to appreciate “other girls” and respects their interests eventually
God's Son is coming back soon, repent while there is still time! DO NOt take the mark of the beast vaccine! New World Order is here! Stock up on food and necessities! The Bible said many would die of famin ee
The demonization of ultra-femininity is what killed the Winx live-action. They made it gritty and masculine and stripped it of all it's femininity, sparkle, and fun. Hollywood! Stop making the girly girl the bad guy!
stella was my favourite character in the original winx because she was ultra feminine and vain but she was still shown to be kind hearted and giving, she could recognize when she messed up (sometimes it had to be pointed out to her) and she would apologize for being mean. stella was such a great character and i’ll never forgive fate for butchering her so completely
@@daisyelizabeth5462 They portrayed her as the spoilt, rich, blonde girl who was basically Diaspro. They really messed it up, I do like the body positivity in Fate though, other than that, its trash.
i couldn’t agree more about how i want more characters like Elle Woods, Sharpay Evans etc., because personally i have never been able to shift into being accepted as a tomboy or not like other girls, because i enjoy my femininity, but that comes with the cost of being constantly undermined despite excelling at thing just as boys in society do, but not ever coming close to getting the praise i deserve and when i voice this, it’s considered annoying whining from a princess who probably cares more about the colour of her shoes than her grades and knowledge of the world, when in reality she damn well could calculate circles around you in physics and do it while looking flawless thank u very much💅🏻
Yes! I can relate. I’m a feminine feminist, both things that insecure men and pick me’s hate. we need more movies like Legally blonde that celebrate feminine, multifaceted women. And from a WOC perspective I was really excited to see Tahani from the good place being an ultra feminine WOC character. We need girly girls of all body types, skin colors, and races.
@@alyssapinon9670 exactly! Elle Woods and Tahani are super feminine, but they’re also really smart and have a well-rounded character. I wish there were more characters who are super feminine yet have other personality traits such as being kind, smart, badass, etc.
Yes! I'm in school for IT (for the record, I'm from Poland and our schooling system works differently, I'm 19 years old, this is pretty much how I'll be treated like for the rest of my life), which is still considered a field for guys and I want to study physics later on. I'm feminine, I like my femininity, I like pastel colours, glitter, short skirts, platforms. Sadly, that also means I'm undermined by both my teachers and my classmates. I like to think of myself as pretty inteligent and capable when it comes to math and physics, hell, I have the best understanding of physics in my entire class and love to study it on my own. But I'm still seen as dumber than boys in who get praised for barely passing their exams. I love the few girls that are in my classes, but you can clearly see the ones who fall under tomboy category are seen as superior to us feminine girls by teachers. I hope one day I'll be seen as equally capable and smart to men and tomboyish girls, I hate that what I wear or how I act is somehow a way to judge my intelligence.
being a woman is such a double-edged sword, because if your "girly" your shallow and vain, and if you a tom-boy you get told to become more feminine, and the way women who grew up in the spotlight like Miley Cyrus and jojo siwa get told to either stop growing up so quickly or to grow up and change who they are is so frustrating
@Anthony Lopez I agree. Im a girl and one of my male friends wanted to wear something nice to school, and it wasnt even "girly". But toxic masculinity and all that got the best of the boys in my school. Anyone not dressed in hoodies and shorts is immediately labeled gay, and use it as insults. It really does suck to be human
Also strong woman are always viewed as lesbians, don’t have any hate towards them, but it’s stupid how a women can be strong, and have a strong mindset, but can’t be straight and date cishets. Like why can’t strong woman date men? Or be tomboyish, and be with a man who loves her, without changing her style to be accepted by the boy. Another trope I hate, is when a woman/girl isn’t interested in any guys, and is assumed to be a lesbian, which has happened to me, it’s like no, I’m just not interested. Why do I need to find every boy hot?
@@Snow-xd4rv yeah I think many people assume badass women are lesbians because, they can still have a “damsel in distress” which is dumb why can’t there be a dude getting captured. tho I would be lying if I said i didn’t want more confirmed wlw badasses
its WILD how the 'tomboy' is held up as the ideal, non-"bitchy", "one of the guys" girls in a lot of media when irl, masc women get TRASHED on so hard. ESPECIALLY by men, who cannot hold them as objects of desire. I'm transmasc nonbinary, but pretty much everyone I meet assumes i'm just a masculine woman, and I get absolutely ridiculed and treated like a failure by pretty much all men around me when I don't perform femininity to their standards. It's one of the things thats always confused me about media like this. Yeah, the guys will be your friend and keep you around... to laugh at you and your failure at being a woman behind your back or, more often, TO YOUR FACE. And then they'll IMMEDIATELY turn around and shit on high-femme women for performing femininity TOO hard. It's fucking wild to witness.
It's true. Men like that seriously don't need much to feel like criticising women either way. Whether you're more feminine or more masculine, to them you're no good if you're not willing to listen to their shitty values or adapting to their personal wants and needs, even though you're not even fucking dating or ever intending to lmaooo.
Because for these “not like other girls” “tomboy” girls to even be considered worthy they also have to be inherently beautiful and desirable. When women stop trying to be perceive as desirable they are ridiculed and punished.
To be fair, both men and women criticise everyone... Those guys must criticise each other a lot too if they're that fixated on criticising a woman they're "friends" with.
I would like to add that marilyn monroe in "gentlemen prefer blondes" at first sight seems as a dumb blonde but throughout the movie it is shown that she isn't as "naive" as she seems, but she acts as if because "men like it"
Her role in that movie is so underrated, and definitely before it's time. It's a shame like you said she was a switched on character (as she was as a person) yet Hollywood ignored that part and took the bimbo side and ran with it. Unfortunately it stuck like mud. Monroe was very aware of this too.
Thank you so much for this. I am a 53 year old woman who was raised in second wave feminism, but who is naturally ultra girly. My whole life people are shocked when I say that I’m a feminist. You younger women understand the world so much better than most of my generation. ❤️💕
i like makeup, i like sports, i like feminine clothes, i love socialising/making friends, i like all types of music, i don't love studying but im good at a few subjects. idc if im a girly girl or a tomboy, all i know is that im a girl who has lots of different interests and that doesn't make me better or worse than anyone else.
God's Son is coming back soon, repent while there is still time! DO NOt take the mark of the beast vaccine! New World Order is here! Stock up on food and necessities! The Bible said many would die of famin ee
I remember, as a kid, still adoring pink despite the negative rep Hollywood gave it. I always thought of it as “pink is just a good thing mean people just so happen to like. But Barbie and Aurora and Pinkie Pie like it too and they’re nice.” That was literally all the proof that I needed in my mind that liking pink wasn’t inherently evil, lol.
I hate that main characters are usually "different" or "one of the boys" and directors are like "look it's a female main character who is strong and independent" but the only way they think the character can be strong and independent is by making them "one of the boys" because they think the only way of being strong and independent is being masculine. also, I don't like that strong independent women are labeled as "different", because then they are pretty much saying most women are stupid and weak.
@@madisoncrum9212 tell me you have internalised misogyny without telling me you have internalised misogyny. Sweetie you don’t have to hate that trope, we girls got you, please educate before your mindset causes other girls to feel bad for themselves. I’ve been there to, and you’ll be happier if you got out of that 💕
Even the simplest thing is scrutinised to push apart the two “categories” of girls - when I dyed my hair blonde the first comments I got where that I was turning into Barbie and that now I really fit into the stereotypical “cheerleader look” (which is a badass sport overlooked because our uniforms are sparkly ffs)
Alyssa Pinon Aaah it feels so nice when people think the sport is cool x A lot of people think golf is more of a sport than cheer and it just gets me out of my mind
@@mayohooe1397 I feel like people shit on both sports but maybe that’s because golf was mostly girls at my school. Just goes to show that femininity is devalued
That’s why I think characters like Suki from Avatar should be used as a standard rather than as an outlier in the media’s portrayal of femininity. One of my favorite lines of the show is Sokka apologizing to Suki for not respecting her as a warrior but only seeing her as a woman, to which she kisses him on the cheek(get it girl) and says “I am a warrior, but I’m a girl too”
Omg I love that scene too! And I loved Suki. Well all of the female characters of Avatar are amazing, remember that episode when Toph and Katara got makeup and Katara protected her when other girls were making fun of Toph.
When I was younger I thought I shouldn’t be feminine that I would be looked down upon for wearing a skirt or liking pink, so in subconscious ways I didn’t act feminine, even if I didn’t register it. I realize now this is one of the reasons why and recently have been trying to embrace feminine things which I neglected myself from for so long. I love lace and flowing things so slowly I’m filling up my closet with things like that while still maintaining some of my old elements.
Exactly! I refused to wear skirts as a kid for the same reason. And God forbid I had anything with pink on it. Now I wear dresses almost every day :). Pink is still a struggle, some biases are hard to break
It made me sad and frustrated to see women bash other women for embracing their femininity and interests. When I was younger I embraced loving the color pink and being a huge fan of One Direction which other girls tried to ridicule me. I was a hard ass and always stuck with the idea that it’s okay to be unapologetically “girly-girl” while having other interests.
there’s this video by a youtuber called amanda and it’s titled ‘ let’s talk about society’s hatred of teenage girls’. the video is kinda long but she discusses every angle to the issue you mentioned in your comment! if you’re interested check it out :) bc i agreed w everything she said in it
@Souhailla D that’s thing I embraced my own femininity that wasn’t subscribing to the idea of what society said a woman should be doing, no fetishes or links from men. I did my own thing liking pink for it’s radiant shade and liking boy bands and pop music because it made me happy. Putting on makeup because I liked the way I looked in. But also I would watch anime and read manga and be interested in “nerdy” things like Marvel and Yugioh. I didn’t let anyone take away my femininity nor tell me what I should be doing with it.
This is why Legally Blonde slaps. It's just a girly girl originally trying to impress a guy doing law and then finding her dream, all while being more feminine.
As a trans boy who always loved the high femme aesthetic, now that I've transitioned some and am comfy with my body I've gone all in. long hair, big sunglasses, acrylics, dresses, makeup, whole shebang. I love all displays of high femininity, and I'm hopeful that eventually we get them for trans ppl too! not just trans men like me, but trans women and non-binary ppl too! (we also deserve masc/butch trans women/n-bs too :>)
as a trans masc teen i also like to be feminine sometimes or simply not too masculine and its honestly unnerving how other trans men once belittled me for being feminine or for being the embodiment of the "soft uwu trans boy" stereotype. im happy to see someone like me
@@lowquality49 some trans men unfortunately give into toxic masculinity and internalized Transphobia. they try to police what it means to b a trans boy bc they think ppl like us r what causes cis ppl to not like trans ppl, or they're scared that we're also boys but in a different way. Cis ppl fetishizing & over emphasizing the 'uwu soft boy stereotype' (esp while ignoring/demonizing amab n-b soft boys) is bad, but we as trans ppl just existing aren't 'reinforcing stereotypes'. we mayb destroying gender roles, exploring our history, avoiding prejudice & more. that's rad & good! There's tons of feminine, not masc, androgynous and tons of other types of trans men, of all ages, sexualities, races, and all other bgs, we have a history and community and belong as much as any high masc 'cis reading' binary trans dude bein shitty to u, I promise. I'm sorry you experienced that and I hope you find more of us and your community soon! u can hmu on twitter @/pinkman1c if u want :>💙
Yes me too. I didn't wear dresses for a long time, and was ashamed of the fact that I did ballet because it subconsciously made me feel like a girl, but the instant I accepted that I was a demiboy, I realized that I actually do like being feminine, and now I paint my nails and wear dresses all the time.
Here’s to men wearing dresses, women wearing suits, enbies wearing capes, and everyone wearing whatever the hell they please! I love it when people are able to express themselves and be happy!
There is a webtoon called "let's play" that has a super ultra feminine character in it, and everyone, including me, saw her in the beginning as the "evil, catty, b*tchy woman," trope, but it did a great job at humanizing her and making the audience realize how often we see that trope and challenging our notions of that trope. I love her character and I'm glad the artist depicted her that way.
I love her too! I totally forgot her name but I know who you are talking about. I was so happy to see that she was actually a well made character who had a life and a brain outside of the main guy and her job as a beauty youtuber. Especially because she uses make up and shows confidence which are usually used as antagonistic traits. I’m very happy that she befriended Sam and allowed her to embrace her femininity as well
@@thegirlwithaprilinhereyes9177 depends on the form of media and the person I don’t know if you are referring to Korea specifically or Asia as a whole but anywhere you go people will scrutinize a women no matter what they do. Also a lot of WEBTOONS that are in English is mainly dominated by the west so stereotypes like that find their way into comment sections.
Monica QUEEN. I actually really hate that webtoon now, I find Charles toxic and creepy af but I absolutely adore Monica. She's such a sweetheart ❤️ and I want a webtoon all about her
God's Son is coming back soon, repent while there is still time! DO NOt take the mark of the beast vaccine! New World Order is here! Stock up on food and necessities! The Bible said many would die of famin ee
As a lesbian, I personally think that Regina George's leadership skills and killer instincts can be channeled to do amazing good for the world, and I for one, think we need more feminine people to come into their power like she did (but without the relational aggression).
The “not like other girls” trope is nasty and ofc needs to die, but this recent trend of using that label as a weapon against women is just as bad imo. it seems like every time someone who just happens to be female has a differing opinion or is negative, people bring out the “pick me girl” pitchforks even when it has nothing to do with gender. Plus, we never criticize boys quite this way, even though I’d say that men are equally pretentious. What was once a valid criticism of a terrible trope has morphed into another way to make gender-based critiques, and disproportionately scrutinize women when men do the same thing (but it isn’t acknowledged nearly as often or as intensely).
Even worse, I see a lot of men use the NLOG or quirky girl to insult women as 'faking' for _their_ attention, completely ignoring the nuanced reasons why young women feel like they need to project that.
I mean guys face all sorts of negative stereotypes too...and I'd argue hyper masculinity characters are often villains or mean people in movies and shows too...and I dont think it's wrong for their to be mean hyper feminine women characters or hyper masculine man characters. But it definitely shouldnt be all the time. You can be super girl and not be a shallow or bad person. Same for masculinity. And of course theres males and females with a mix feminine and masculine traits and Tom boys etc etc.
forreal I told someone I was depressed and they mocked with the whole i am not like other girls thing Isaid I felt differnet and like an outcast because at thetime I was getting bullied
Honestly I don’t care whether someone is a guy or a girl. Or if their interests are “mainstream” or “quirky”. As long as they aren’t jerks about it. I don’t think we actually hate femininity and basicness itself. we just tend to associate it with people who are jerks (even though anyone can be a jerk regardless of their interests). And if we don’t like that kind of behavior we shouldn’t act like one ourselves.
Fr, women can't do _anything_ without getting attacked or insulted. Want to present more traditionally masculine or like traditionally masculine things? She's obviously a pick me and trying to be "quirky". Want to present more traditionally feminine or like traditionally feminine things? Obviously she's shallow and vain, weak, and only cares about her appearance.
I remember as a kid I activeIy avoided being uItra girIy even though I wanted to be. Because every character i saw in media that was very girIy was superficiaI, seIfish, dumb, etc. When I started watching my IittIe pony I was so happy to see an extremeIy feminine character that was aIso very kind. (Rarity). I think she heIped me Iearn that me Iiking makeup, sewing, etc. wasn’t that bad.
rarity was also a huge inspiration for me, because I was used to every feminine character being shallow and rude and snobbish. but rarity was actually really kind and generous
I really like My Little Pony for that reason. Rarity is an amazing character, creative and determined to succeed, and all of the episodes that deal with her having artistic troubles are really relatable. And the best part is that she's not the only one: we have Pinkie Pie, who, well, is all pink and bubbly (she's my favorite character, I just think her motivation to make everyone smile is just so noble and amazing), Fluttershy (cottagecore dream), Twilight (girly bookworm who is actually awkward but in a fun way and still values practicality), and all of them are so different because there's no one way to be feminine. There's not just one way to be a girl, it's a spectrum [quoted from Lauren herself]. Even Applejack and Rainbow Dash are amazing in their own way even when they're more masculine than the others, and although they sometimes make fun of the femininity of the others, they acknowledge that they have different tastes, and take accountability if they've made the others feel bad.
movies and tv shows like this fueled my internalized misogyny as a kid. since girly characters were portrayed as "vain" or "shallow" i began to resent femininity bc i thought it made me "different." thankfully i grew out of that lol. eventually i realized that i can be a feminist who likes books and superheroes while *also* being girly. society needs to stop putting women into boxes smh
I wouldn’t say I’m quite the same. Actually, maybe opposite in some ways. Growing up (and this could possibly be an age difference thing, I’m not sure how old you are) I felt a bit weird being tomboyish because I was different from most of my friends and sisters when it came to “girly” stuff. I guess especially having a typically “girly” older sister and me completely lacking any interest in that made it so much more apparent. And even watching shows or movies even the “tomboyish” girls looked glamorous and done up with makeup to me so I would less often be able to relate. Now, I’ve change a little. I think I’m a bit more “feminine” in some aspects but really I just don’t really care about things like this anymore. I’m a woman and whatever my interests or personality traits are will never diminish or change that.
I’ve always and still like the color pink, not because I think I should but because I just like the color and back then it was actually seen as a color for boys and the girl color was blue
@@abbysworld05 yeah, I’ve read that too and the meaning behind the colors which is cool to look into and see how they have changed or how differently all colors are perceived across different cultures.
personally, i love being/dressing feminine because it ACTUALLY makes me feel pretty and some people should understand that dressing/being ultra feminine =/= supporting gender stereotypes
This is why I love Taylor Swift so much. She has never apologized for being a girly girl. She loves her glitter, sparkly dresses, red lipstick, and pastel colors and is still one of our generations best song writers and freely speaks her mind. “I wanna love glitter and also stand up for the double standards that exist in our society. I wanna wear pink, and tell you how I feel about politics. I don’t think those things have to cancel each other out.” - Taylor Swift
Exactly. She's such an inspiration! She's such a powerful, ambitious, independent girly girl (well, she's a woman now but you know what I mean). I feel like misogyny is one of the reasons why she's been villainised so much by the media which is really sad. #Swiftie
That line in Taylor Swift's You Belong With Me, where she talks about how the other girl wears heels and skirts always irritated my soul because what does the fact that she wears heels have to do with him not belonging with her 🙄 like dressing cute makes her a bad person. Idk I thought it was just me but it annoyed me lol.- COPIED but just something to be aware of
@@daniellesloley628 also that was like 13 years ago when she was like 17. she’s grown and she’s actually talked about that and her song better than revenge that kinda falls into that same category. (also that line was just supposed to show how opposite they are, she lists other reasons why she belongs with him :) )
@@daniellesloley628 she was 17 then, and i think all girls had a "not like other girls" phase. She's an adult now, and shes matured a lot, both musically and mentally.
Exactly so. Especially in comparison to Cordelia. The pair demonstrate that being girly doesn't make you an asshole. Being an asshole makes you an asshole. But also that an asshole can grow up and out of it.
@@cristianabraham384 Wow, what a load of crap. Yes, we still need more change but don't try to slip in a demonisation of women in there. So insidious. As if men aren't influenced by social media.
In my experience, I've had people say that I'm not woman enough, cause I don't wear what they thought a woman should wear. I kept getting bullied by boys, constantly, and I remembered telling my mom about that. My mom had the nerve to say, "Well,maybe if you made yourself look more acceptable, they would not bother you.", 🙄🙄🙄. I do remember when I did dress up one day, cause I just wanted to look nice. Two of my friends thought I was dressing up for a boy.🙄🙄🙄.
Being Ultra feminine is amazing. For me personally I work a masculine job so outside of work I like to be really girly I love pink accessories and doing family things like getting my hair and nails done. I miss the old days when shows like the Winx Club showcased powerful women that were also extremely feminine
I have a similar situation, I like looking feminine, I prefer skirts over pants, I like feminine shoes like heels and heeled boots over regular shoes, and I like keeping my hair long, but personality wise I act more "masculine" I swear more than I should, I 'm interested in stuff like fighting. Since it was either be fully feminine or fully masculine I never felt like I really fit in.
Winx Club was a work of art. All of them were girly and had great fashion sense, yet they were also super badass. They were super feminine yet were kickass. However, we don’t have such stuff anymore, because, apparently, we can only be one.
@@luuuuux_ Yeah I watched Winx club when I was young and now I'm only realizing how iconic it was. Half of the group were woman of color, showed you can be feminine and kick ass, showed how important friendship is, and lets not forget this show was made in 2004 so all this stuff is pretty impressive for it's time. I hate how the Winx reboot white washes two of the three woman of color, made them act like them have an antagonistic relationship with eachother and only team up because they had to, and downgraded them to a bunch of basic tropes like making Stella "the mean girl" and Aisha "supportive black friend".
@@femmefatale4442 I’m currently rewatching the series! I also noticed how I was a lot more stereotypically feminine when I was younger but then rejected it in my early teens. This is because I believed that being ‘girly’ (ugh) was dumb and that ppl weren’t gunna take me seriously. So I wanted to be a tomboy and not like other girls 😂
when i was a preteen i used to hate every female main character on sight, because i had heavily internalized misogyny, and it takes so much effort and unlearning damaging tropes to get over those ideals. (im sorry sakura, it's not your fault that you're badly written and have pink hair)
God's Son is coming back soon, repent while there is still time! DO NOt take the mark of the beast vaccine! New World Order is here! Stock up on food and necessities! The Bible said many would die of famin ee
Shanspheare:"I want a character who is both ultra-smart and ultra-feminine" Script Writer: laughs Directors: laughs Hollywood laughs: Elle Woods: "What, like its hard?"
@@mjj7781 the movie shows that intelligence comes in many ways. yes, she was naive at times, but also showed traits like ambition and discipline. Cher was also very socially intelligent, gaining popularity thanks to her charisma and was almost always able to talk herself out of anything
@@b1ueixia00 I guess she was gaining popularity bc she was a rich kid wearing fashionable clothes (thanks to her superficiality), this has nothing to do with a actual charisma. Ever seen a rich kid being alone and that no one wanted to be friends with? Talking herself out of situations (sounds like though lying and gaslighting) is somehow "smart", a smart person wouldn't bring themselves there in the first place. I didn't see the movie so I don't know what you are referring to. I once zapped in a scene where someone wanted to rob her in the street and told her to lay down and she denied it (don't know what she did in the end) bc she was wearing a designer dress. This scene meant to be funny but she put her designer dress before her health in the first place. This scene just showed her superficiality and her materialistic values. Didn't watch further bc she already was too stupid for me.
@@mjj7781 She has actual charisma too. You wouldn’t have seen that much of it earlier in the movie, but she essentially takes an unfashionable “underdog” under her wing, building her self-esteem by forging her in her image, and by making that image (very skillfully) seem so alluring. She’s based on Jane Austen’s Emma, and if you’ve read the book, you’ll know that Emma is extremely charismatic, and also very clever, but she does have flaws, like her naievety, superficiality, and ego. Cher is clever, she’s just intellectually lazy. Being able to debate is a great sign of intelligence, and her love of fashion manifests as an outlet for creativity. You can still be silly and materialistic whilst still being intelligent.
@@mjj7781 I think her debate class speech did give Elle Woods vibes even though her teacher didn't agree. Especially considering the suicidal guy and the chewing gum girl. Regardless, that girl was smart, call it people smart if you will.
also how blondes are portrayed as “dumb” I am a natural blonde and wherever or whenever I go somewhere there is always that one person who assumes that I am incapable and helpless because of my genetic heritage... like what the hell 😀 I was in class one time and this person sitting in front of me was talking about “dumb blondes” bluntly 😑 they then turned around to me and had the audacity to say “no, not you. you wear glasses ✌️😀”
And then there’s the assumption that anybody who wears glasses is a nerd and super smart but when they take the glasses off all of a sudden their hot, like no they were hot before you’re just stupid
@@slushmonsterz girls shouldn’t have to change themselves in order to not be embarrassed. I’ve always been a tomboy with awesome parents so I never thought I had to change myself, but I have seen my friends and others people do so, even though I don’t like it makeup, and dresses and stuff like that are awesome and no body should be embarrassed about liking them
I think a lot of people believe blondes have it easier because of all the deep rooted hitler perfection standards. But I have noticed my blonde friends get mistreated a lot, far more then my brunette friends. All because their hair color it seems people believe they can degrade them and get away with it.
This video is sooo important! Growing up I also felt like I had to be “not like other girls” so that I would feel people respected me. They made fun of me for using so much over the top jewelry and I ended up repressing this girly and fun/experimental side thinking i was stupid, or pretentious... But thanks to content like this I encourage more and more my girly side and embrace my younger playful self. I absolutely love your videos!! You’re amazing, thank you ❤️
I’ve been there. Unfortunately the NLOG’s who made fun of me used to be my friends before things went sour 😢 so it hurt a lot more than dealing with some random jerks
Some people go on about "caricature of a woman" for women who like dresses and skirts, when practically any look can become a stereotype caricature after X amount of time, if enough adopt it as the beauty standard look. Even the IDGAF crowd who live and die in grungy/street casual/ sports wear women often go to extreme lengths to make it look 100% perfect fem.
I love that she's played by the same actress who played the live action Daphne for Scooby Doo. Not to mention Daphne in the earlier 2000s Scooby Doo movies was given more character as a successful and intelligent reporter.
She was DEFINITELY a great example (for all my many problems with Joss Whedon). As was Cordelia. The Queen B who was, shock, also a person, and kicked even more ass on Angel.
Y'all are killing me in these comments lol. I love Katniss, and I think she's a complex character and probably one of the most well-written characters in the YA genre. I mention her as "not like other girls" because Katniss says in Catching Fire “other girls our age, I’ve heard them talking about boys, or other girls, or clothes. Madge and I aren’t gossipy and clothes bore me to tears...” (Page 87). Katniss' interests alone don't make her "not like other girls"--that specific statement does (in my opinion). But she is a complex character; and even if she does fall into the NLOG trope, that doesn't mean she's not complex or a well-written character. Most of us went through this phase! And Katniss was just a product of her environment.
I totally get it! Like she falls in the trope. But just because you fall into a trope it doesnt mean you're a bad character, katniss just happens to be a great character (imo) who partially falls into this trope.
Hmm, just because of this one particular line doesn't mean she holds this sentiment or completely fits the trope throughout the entire series. There are so many YA stories that seemingly can't stop really driving this NLOG trope home that Katniss honestly pales in comparison. Still, great video all around, agreed with everything else you said!
Not to mention that she was that way because she had to grow up really fast to support her family. So she probably didn’t have time to be a normal teenage girl even if she wanted to
@@alyssapinon9670 exactly. Did not understand the Katniss one. She had to fight to survive
@@abbyhayman7874 yeah as if it’s sooo quirky for someone to have to grow up too fast
Not to forget, the "not like other girls girls" and the "bad at femininity women" still have to be gorgeous to even be portrayed in media at all.
YES!!!!
@@Shanspeare Thanks for the heart🤗
@@Shanspeare Happy international women's day by the way!
RIGHT. glasses or plain/ordinary are slapped on them and all of a sudden their unattractive 😂
yesssssss according to the media, it seems like a woman isn't valuable unless she's nice to look at
The not like other girls trope had me in a chokehold for the longest 😩 I feel like the main issue is society has a hard time viewing women as multifaceted, you are either smart or pretty you can’t be both. That’s probably why so many young girls at the time felt like they wanted to be excluded from other women because they would rather be human than women 🙇🏾♀️
Not a chokehold, eye-
Yes! We need to remember an important lesson from shrek when viewing female identity: onions and ogres aren’t the only ones that are layered.
Amen 💖
"That's probably why so many young girls at the time felt like they wanted to be excluded from other women because they would rather be human than women" Wow. You hit the nail right on the head huh
As someone who is a tomboy I always took on the I'm not like other girls and honestly, I just wanted to be seen as a person and not a woman. As you mentioned
I'm being reminded of Charlotte from Disney's "The Princess and the frog," and I have to say I really love how she expresses herself the way she likes to feel feminine in pink ballgowns and tiaras, without being a "mean girl" or a villan/a competitor to the main protagonist. While her character may be spoilt, that doesn't deny the fact she's a true, good friend to Tiana and even sacrifices something she had dreamed of as a little girl (fairytale endings/the prince) when she realises Tiana had found real love. And she was happy for her and supportive without a doubt! That makes me happy to see :)
YES! she´s one of the first "girly" girl good representation I´ve seen. There is where I learned that being femenine doesn´t equal being a "Regina George" or a "Sharpay". And that being the opposite to them is not being a "pick me girl" or "im not like others". When will we stop labeling and sterotyping every single female personality? let women be!
I love Charlotte and tiana
i loved her
They have the best friendships
theres always a difference between spoiled brat and spoiled!
This is why I love "Legally Blonde" it was so ahead of its time, even before the "I'm not like other girls" phase. There, the ultra-feminine and "bimbo" protagonist Elle Woods although at first appears to only be a ditzy valley/daddy's girl, unlocks her potential and becomes a lawyer, even resolving a case when she was just in law school. The love rival at first was someone the audience hated but then they came to become allies and even friends. All this while Elle stayed true to herself including keeping her fashion sense and fun-girl lifestyle.
perioD!
i also love the way she won her case. (knowledge on hair), it shows how femininity can be even be a strength rather than a weakness
Also can I add, her having respect for herself at the end and not getting back with Warner really shows how much she grown and knew her worth.
@@SheDrawsSometimes YES AND I LOVE VIVIAN REALIZING HER POTENTIAL BESIDES JUST BEING WARNERS FIANCÉ
@@ushy_gushy2606 exactly, they both acted out just to get his attention- even though he really had no regard for either of them
Elle Woods, to me, is the perfect character to be girly and ambitious, yet she LOVES other women and supports them! She knew what she wanted and knew her self worth. She clearly was not perfect but she is a great role model that is written that she can indeed be both: smart and a great personality with a killer style!
shes so underappreciated 😭 like elle woods is an amazing role model i love her so much
That movie handled Vivian so well too, the growth is real
Yesss that was literally my go-to movie when I needed motivation to study for exams in college 😂
I luv her, shes my fav leading lady
I also think Cher from clueless
As a female, getting over the hatred for pink is self care💅🌸
Edit: y'all when I say getting over the hatred for pink, I don't mean making it your favourite colour. I'm saying being okay with it. As a little girl, I developed an intense aversion of it only because it's labelled as a girly colour and anything girly was not considered cool. It's symbolic in the sense of getting over the toxic stereotypes that the society has been feeding us as girls and finally embracing our femininity.
DUDE SAME I never even realized that till now. I just did an all pink makeup look on my ig and the whole time I was wondering why did I so vehemently despise pink growing up. It always was like oh no pink makes you girly and girly is bad! That is such a deep realization!
preach💅🌸
i still hate pink, but everyone has their preferences
I love pinkk
@@meghan_. yeah! Im not the biggest fan either (pretty neutral on the colour) the problem is when people feel pressured to dislike it
it makes me mad how if a woman is more feminine then that makes her “girly” or “annoying” or “rude,” but then if a woman is more masculine or more “tomboyish,” it makes her a pick me. what tf can we do at this point?? why do we need to label what type of woman we are?? we are women and that’s all that matters.
Also strong woman are always viewed as lesbians, don’t have any hate towards them, but it’s stupid how a women can be strong, and have a strong mindset, but can’t be straight and date cishets. Like why can’t strong woman date men? Or be tomboyish, and be with a man who loves her, without changing her style to be accepted by the boy. Another trope I hate, is when a woman/girl isn’t interested in any guys, and is assumed to be a lesbian, which has happened to me, it’s like no, I’m just not interested. Why do I need to find every boy hot?
@@Snow-xd4rv YES!! I COMPLETELY AGREE
man we gotta be naked at this point
@@guardianangel4443 Except we'll get shamed for that, too 🤔
@Jjyu please tell me where they said they were oppressed? You need to learn how to read better
Sometimes I love being tomboyish. Sometimes I love being girly.
I feel like society forces me to choose.
I love diversity. I wanna be both. Not only one.
Let's be both!
😊💕🎀
Same I want to be both
Yeah, I like rock and memes, pink and hairs..
I want to be both!!🌸💕
YES, same. I will go backpacking one week looking/smelling like crap without a care (often considered “tomboyish”) and then go get a pedicure and hit up downtown in full makeup and a tight dress or go shopping (often considered “girly”). In reality, MANY people are like this. The media just likes to put people in boxes and label them, and then expects us to follow suit. It kills me though because it reminds me of those memes from years ago that portrayed a girl in two different outfits/situations (ie: all muddy from a hike or fixing a car in one photo and then all dressed up in heels and full makeup in another photo) with text that reads: “Get a girl who can do both.” Yeah, no that’s just an average human being with various interests. Again, everyone thinks we’re doing it for men or are trying to compete against other women. No, we’re just human beings with various interests that appear to “clash.” In reality, people are just multi-layered. And even if someone does appear to have a more singular interest or personality, so?? That doesn’t make them any less interesting or valuable. It’s funny to think that people who met me when I was engaged in certain activities probably assumed I am always like that. Nope, and I know they probably aren’t either!
an't help it Same, I have to behave masculine all the time or attract negative attention from men and dirty looks and hate from women, although I sometimes enjoy masculine activities, I am naturally fem and some days want to wear something pretty as it makes ME feel happy and confident, but I just can't because of narrow minded people..
the queens gambit is the perfect example of a girl who isnt just smart. shes feminine loves fashion and doesnt think of herself as a girl within all the men but a worthy competitor! i love that show
ITS SO GOOD!! I love the fact that the problem she has is that she wants to find a companion like everyone else she sees and someone who sees her passions. The reason she is so different from the women she meets is not because they are better than her or she is better than them, it’s that they have people to rely on, they know how to interact with people and she wants to have that. They don’t portray the women in a bad light but rather inspiration to the main character while not putting the main character herself down for her hobbies!!!!!
@taylor styles it literally is. a masterpiece
It perpetuates a modern form of sexism, the idea of a super-woman (as being the only way a woman can be held to the same standard as other men ). Makes a good story though!
And she’s possibly neuro divergent
@@robinnilsson9487 I'm not sure about Queen Gambit but you definately check out Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries. Basically, it's an Austrailian TV show about a woman named Phryne Fisher or Ms. Fisher who is a 1920s private detective or "lady detective" as she call herself. I think her character is the defination of a strong woman as although she's highly intelligent and stubborn which are usually musculine traits, she's also very fashionable and elegant. In fact, she use her feminine charm or sexuality if she has to in order to gain information or decieve people. Yes, this is a femme fatale trope but Phryne doesn't use it quite oftenly and there's very little "male gaze". Most oftenly, it's her that chases men like she's James Bond.
and there’s also the fact that the “i’m not like the other girls /pick me” girls are considered more desirable because of their lack of interest or commitment to feminine things but at the same time they are not taken seriously because they don’t look super hot (ms congeniality) if we take an interest in our appearance and makeup we are considered too girly and shallow. but we are still expected to look naturally stunning all the time. guys say they don’t like when women wear makeup but find them repulsive with out it (at least in the media/hollywood depiction)
👏 👏 ❤️✅
Exactly everytime I say I hate pick me’s I don’t mean people who aren’t feminine I mean people who bring other people down. I mean people who make fun of everything you do But I hate multiple people say to me ‘yeah same, it’s so annoying when girls don’t wear make up or say they don’t get ready’ AND THATS NOT WHAT I MEAN edit sorry I was kinda sick of stereotypes
I feel like women put these expectations on one another more than anyone... 🤷🏽♀️
Exactly @Elise Rundiet!
@@thisiswhathappenslarry Same. A lot of women will make you think you look your worst when you actually look your best just from one single nasty, uncomfortable glance... it’s not okay
Everytime i wanna dress more feminine like wearing makeup, my dad always say’s something like “is there a boy you are trying to impress” like no dad im not doing this for boys.
@@starduststudios5671 go away. Everything you're saying is not only factually wrong but also irrelevant to the topic
I always hated that. Like id just do my makeup and they’d be like “no boys are gonna be looking at you” like I really don’t care I’m doing it for myslef
@@starduststudios5671 Jesus loves you💖💗 thank you for spreading the message
When you wear makeup, you either do it for boys or other girls, because you can't help but do it for other people's perceptions of you. Also there's nothing wrong with trying to impress boys, I don't think you realise a lot of the shit we do is to impress you.
My parents used to say the same, but they now understand that I simply like dressing up for myself.
As an extremely feminine feminist it’s crazy how people assume you are desperate for male validation just because you’re dressed girly ?? My femininity to me, is an expression of my proudness to be a girl !!!! hello !!!!! Let women live
@Mike Brown mmm yeah i think so. taste, expression, and behavior basically define your "aesthetic". I mean it's arbitrary because what is "femininity" and "masculinity" but for the sake of the conversation, yes
Your in denial about validation from external sources making you feel that way.
@@deejin25 uh huh, and let's pretend that were true since you seem to know me so well... what the hell would be so wrong with wanting *some* validation anyway? We're all human and looking to be validated in some way, aren't we?
Yeah, same how ppl call all tomboys pick mes. Like no mf I'm not a tomboy bc I want male validation, IM A TOMBOY BC I NATURALLY AM ONE, AND THIS IS MY SELF EXPRESSION!!!
Amen
Another really good representation of a feminine girl who is also a badass is Honey Lemon from big hero 6. Throughout the whole movie she wears bright colors and talks in a high voice but she's also really smart and she preforms the same amount of bravery as anyone else.
I love her ksnsk because I like chemistry too
Aksjslsf yes i love Honey Lemon 😭
I typically love characters like go go and even though I did like go go, Honey Lemon was my favorite
princess bubblegum too!
Also don't forget she is super tall, YET wears heels!! That confidence!!
Men are so confused to the point where they desire sex for themselves but ridicule women who do. I'm a woman who likes to dress comfortably and I can't count the times when other people felt the need to tell me how to dress. It doesn't matter if a woman is scantily clad or covered from head to toe, people impose their opinion on us. It's normalized.
For real!!As someone who also likes to wear more skin covering clothes,i'm seen as a naive and insecure girl who is afraid to show of her body. In fact, it's just my style. People judge everything women do🤦♀️
Men who have lots of sex but talk bad about women w do the same are MAJOR hypocrites, like buddy its like funding a red hat company while saying you hate anyone who wears red hats.
@@imakestuff3881 classy.
There's that one saying:
In society, when men are oppressed and shamed, it's a tragedy. 👎+♂️=👎
When women are oppressed and shamed, it's tradition. 👎+♀️=👍
@Moonchild34 WOW,,, that says everything
Something that always bothered me is that when a man shows traits in media like being rude, arrogant, rich, and popular, he is the love interest who "every girl" lusts after, but when a girl shows these traits she is the antagonist everyone is supposed to hate. I wish people would point out this double standard because it is one I really hate but I rarely hear ever gets talked about.
Funny because I was just watching high school musical for youth sentiment and thinking the exact same thing! Sharpay was portrayed as this horrible person, yet if she was a dude, everything would’ve been fine.
OMG YES!! Malfoy is like that and he has a lot of fangirls, like... I will never understand 💀💀
@@flowertea0 To be fair the movie did him a fair, he is worse in the books.
@@myasmith1820 literally tho,mans literally made fun at the idea of hermiones sexual assault
@@priya8855 fr and people still defend him
When I started college I loved wearing skirts and dresses. My friend said she thought girls who like pink and wear dresses are dumb and shallow. Yet I was the one got the best grades in class while she’d fail half her classes constantly.
LOL
I’m glad to see you’re not letting her change parts of your personality when you clearly don’t need to, and not letting this girl impact who you are, or making you feel bad. Great job, you go girl!
Imagine thinking GARMENTS can determine your personality
I am so sorry that you had to hear a friend say something like that to you! I have been told similar things as a very feminine teen girl. However, all the people teasing me about my pink and makeup were pretty sorry at the end of the year when I came out on the top of my class 😌
Yes! That's explains me exactly. I LOVE femininity, and one of my friends is super "tom-boy" and anti-girly, all on about how "shallow" dressing up is: Meanwhile, she's the one going out, trying to impress boys whilst also failing in her friendships AND at school, and I'm none of the above, so.
I’m a very feminine, girly girl, a cheerleader, and have a bit of a clueless personality but the thing is I’m not dumb. I get straight As in honors classes, have many opinions that I will never stutter sharing, and much more then my looks and I hate that people think that
Sailor Moon is one of my fave feminine/girly girl protagonists who is still strong. We need more of her!
Yes! We just need more magical girls in general, where did they go? I havent heard of any new magical girl anime/cartoon in years, did they just stop being a thing??? lol
@@clartblart3266 it still is, watch the precure franchise.
Japan still has a lot of hyper-feminine Shoujo manga and shows. Where’ve you been?? 😟
@@clartblart3266 Netflix literally dubbed one not too long ago. Don't erase my precious precure dammit!
Actually, most female characters out there are strong . You just don’t notice it because again “ She’s not like other girls , she’s strong “.
Sharpay “Get to the Bag” Evans has always been one of my role models growing up. Despite people viewing her as a mean girl, she was feminine, stylish, super hardworking and TENACIOUS. I don’t see characters like her anymore.
and egoistical and entitled
@@madeinyusei-8708 Everyone isn’t perfect. Plus she got her life together in her spin-off lol.
@@madeinyusei-8708 entitled yes. But she can’t be blamed for being rich and wealthy. That’s just how she grew up. But she ALWAYS worked hard and was passionate. She put more work into her performances than Troy and Gabriella (who literally missed their first try out audition). And Troy who acted like it was a DRAG to perform with her. She was a little full of herself but she was not a bad character at all... watching the movie again Troy is actually worse than her. Sharpay actually helped both Gabby and Troy
Man I loved Sharpay.
@@genesisrose1447 im not saying she should be perfect, i actually love her but lately people put her in a pedestal acting like gabriella was the actual bad one and at fault for everything, like the audition thing, but she was the one who started the one sided rivalry with gabriella for one dude, tho it's more of a movie problem that she didnt grow a lot during the hsm movies bc they made her comeback to her obsession for troy each movie
This was part of the reason why I didn't like the Winx reboot. They made the characters way more masculine even though they were really feminine in the first, the reason it really bothered me because in the original it showed that you can be girly and kick ass. The character that is the most feminine in the reboot (which is stella) is the "mean girl" who fights with Bloom over Sky.
Exactly! Stella was so badass, scratch that everyone was badass, and they all had an amazing fashion sense. I haven’t watched the reboot, but it sounds terrible because the Trix, Brandon, Techna and Flora don’t exist. Also, their costumes look absolutely terrible.
wait hol on!! "fights with Bloom over Sky." you can't be serious!!! LOL!
@@christinem8799 I am, sadly enough.
@@christinem8799 Yep, Stella and Bloom are not even as close as they are in the OG show.
Yea I hate it when they always try to label the girly girl as the mean one in every movie and show like can we see a girly girl who isn’t mean or the bully and just make them be smart, or nice , like something pls. Also I have noticed some times the Quirky/ I’m not like other girls . character is always seen to be the nice one and also seen to be the victim of the bullying from the girly girl.
I remember when Legally Blonde came out, everyone dismissed it as "a ditzy girl becomes a lawyer the end". I felt I could only enjoy it as a "guilty pleasure".
It's taken me two decades to realize that Elle woods is the most progressive feminist character from media of that time.
PERIOD!!💕💕
Yeah
can we please also address how when a women has a strong mindset and speaks up for herself she is viewed as “scary” or “unapproachable”..referring to the movie “10 things I hate about you”
even in pop culture whenever women speaks up about anything she is portrayed as difficult, rude and in real life she is put as playing hard to get because everything women do is for men
@@himanshisobti6937 yeah..it’s sickening and just sad :/
@@himanshisobti6937 exactly! Even saying 'no' means 'playing hard to get', like WTF?!
Such a freaking pain in the ass...men should respect women A WHOLE DAMN LOT considering that a woman *GAVE BIRTH TO THEM!*
lol but that movie is taken from a shakespeare play.. so its about what society was like in the 16th century or so.. not like we have changed much in that aspect i agree but context is important.. the entire play revolves around kate's behaviour
I don't understand why it's so hard to understand that women can be powerful AND girly AND also a hero!!
(Strong great-spirited) Women >>>>>>
Period!
People too often associate being powerful with being physically strong and fit and being “on top of other people”
When that is not the case.
The female characters in Jujutsu Kaisen really explore all this being both feminine and powerful! I find that super refreshing!
Also, I hate the tomboy trope and how they make women who aren't girly seem like they have to only hangout with guys and hate other women. Like not everyone who is friends has to dress and act exactly the same
HEY! what about Elle woods from Legally Blonde??
I feel girls/women are mocked for almost [focus on the almost] everything. If she likes games and other "boy stuff" she is a wannabe who falls into the "I am not like other girls" trope. If she likes make up and fashion, she is the stereotypical girl who is dumb and shallow. If she likes studying she is a nerd but if she prefers sports she is trying to be masculine and compete against the boys. How long would it take for us to realize that we women are people of our own. The things we like and don't like and the hobbies we have are supposed to be ours, not for the society's to judge.
exactly, notice how everything with a predominantly female audience is automatically despised. like bts, one direction, justin bieber. everything that is a popular interest of girls is looked down. girls get made fun of for their own interests. i imagine its exhausting
@@lowquality49 yes, exactly, this is what i was saying
@@lowquality49 Ikr? If you think of 'Mean Girls' or Twilight, what's the first thing do you think ppl are going think? Chick-flick. Althoug I respect the Chick-flick genre, it bugs me when a movie with male lead and with wide male audiences can be seen as a dark comedy but when ppl think of Heathers, it's a chick-flick. Worse if they say things like "Wow! It's a chick-fick. Are we seriously gonna watch that?".
@@adam.n-steve i didnt know chick flick was a derogatory term, i always thought it was a genre. i have a list of chick flick movies to watch lmao
@Anthony Lopez yes brother! I feel you
All I gotta say is, I think My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is one of the few pieces of media that portrays both "tomboys" and "girly-girls" very well. Take the character, Rarity, for example. She's the most feminine of the main cast, liking makeup and fancy dresses, but she isn't displayed as weak or stupid. One episode that specifically tackles this subject is "A Dog and Pony Show" where Rarity gets kidnapped and the rest of the main cast goes to save her. The twist is that Rarity didn't need saving, and was able to fend off her captors easily on her own, despite being perceived as a "weak girly-girl." It's like a mockery of the "damsel-in-distress" trope. There's many more instances of this I could point out and more characters I could go into because this show surprisingly does a very good job of representing women without being misogynistic. It's one of the many aspects that make me admire this show so much.
Y E S THANK YOU!!! also sick entrapta pfp
this!!!! and the fact that they all have different ways they express themselves, like how rarity is hyper-feminine but rainbow dash and applejack are more tomboyish, and how twilight is just a nerd and is kind of removed from ideas of masculinity or femininity most of the time. even pinkie pie and fluttershy aren't super feminized, despite having pink hair, or in fluttershy's case, a softer voice and more gentle demeanor which can be perceived as feminine. but they're all still girls! even applejack and rainbow dash are still treated as "girls with different interests" instead of one of the boys or whatever.
and they're all friends!! especially rarity and apple jack, who have had specific episodes where they clash idea-wise due to their different interests and aesthetics!! and that's so important, especially for young girls, because it teaches that you can have different interests and act differently, more or less feminine, than other girls, and still get along and have strong friendships!!
Yeees!
Also Applejack is not the biggest fan of “Fashion” and “girly” stuff, but she still dresses in the beautiful dresses Rarity makes and owns them. She is still Rarity’s best friend despise their differences and I love it!
I love how those two where like a main duo in the series, Applejack was a country girl, she didn’t like to style herself too much, and she doesn’t care about getting dirty. As Rarity she was the complete opposite and despite that they got along extremely well even if they fought sometimes.
I specially like the episode where Rarity tries to be like Applejack because the pony she likes, likes Applejack instead. And noticing this, Applejack tries to mimic Rarity to remind her who she really is and why she shouldn’t pretend to be someone she isn’t.
It is also represented with Fluttershy who is a girly shy cute girl and whose best friend is Rainbow Dash, who is the most tomboyish out of the group. And even though they have differences, Rainbow Dash never looks down on Fluttershy and actually thinks of her as a really strong girl, and Fluttershy is always glad to have RD by her side.
My little pony did an amazing work making this characters without making them dull, and specially without making some of them be “better” just because they were more “tomboyish” (or the other way around) and actually made all the ponies be great in their own ways.
Oh I love Rarity and I think you should add the episode where she was trying to act all country in order to impress tenderhooves but with applejack's help she saved her friend from being a "I'm not like other unicorns/mares"
YES I AGREE SM, rarity is portrayed amazingly as a feminine girl and i love how close hera nd applejack ( who is seen more as a tomboy ) get along so well with each other
"they commit horrendous crimes against women and aren't held accountable because he's got a promising future ahead of him and this could ruin his life" Subscribed.
And of course some whiners constantly moan whine and bitch about MEN being blamed for everything while women are allegedly never to blame for anything at all whatsoever according to said loathsome whiners and it's almost as tho the truth is the opposite of that BS
I also just LOVE when
Shanspeare said that
stuff:(somewhat quickly): too
@@monabohamad2242 Where is the proof women get lower prison sentences.
I feel like that comment was directly calling out Brock Turner. Honestly I hope he gets covid, the new mutation.
I thought and did the exact same thing.
I remember being young and always being embarrassed to wear a skirt or a dress. Not because i wasn’t okay with my body, but because I didn’t want to be seen as a bimbo. All my favorite teen show protagonists that i looked up to like Alex russo or Sam Puckett were tomboys and cool. I didn’t want to appear weak and lame.
Same. The one time I wore a skirt to a school event in middle school a boy said I looked like a whore. I never wore another skirt or dress to school until senior year of high school.
Maggie Burkart I'm sorry that happened to you, what he said was shitty and I know how much that can impact one's self esteem. I hope you've grown to feel more comfortable with your body now❤️
Felt
Exactly how I felt. Boys would always play rough and tease you at the fact that they could just flip your skirt and they would see everything unlike theirs that was properly suited to cover them up. Even crazy teachers get nasty ideas with girls on skirts. I always felt super comfortable and safe on jeans, like I could jump and fly and just be free 'like boys'. I wasn't girly enough and labeled a tomboy because I was "too strong for a girl". I never thought myself as weak so I put my mind and strength to the best of my ability and that clearly made people uncomfortable. Femininity has always needed to something more.
Truth is a woman has the power to pull off alot dual traits that ideally men cannot. That's why women were always being pulled back and limited.
@@maggieburkart907 That sucks, I'm not a guy so I don't know exactly how you feel. But that still sucks. There are skirts that can be provocative, but considering that you didn't think it was, and that it was middle school, it was probably more than appropriate. So I'm sorry. As a guy I wish I had the choice to wear a skirt sometimes, just because it seems so stylish and fun, and your legs just get to breathe more.
One that note: I want black (specially black dark skinned) girls portrayed like Elle Woods on media immediately. Dionne from Clueless was a visual icon but to her core she was just the black sidekick to Cher, she had no development of her own, and that trope has been going on for way too long now. (It's also one of the reasons I despise the Winx reboot, Aisha was as ultra feminine as the rest of the girls, she was dark skinned and never was used a sidekick or a ladder to Bloom's development)
Hard agree. As well as portraying Hispanic girls and Asian girls at all. Tbh we need more girls like Elle Woods in general
Edit: and Middle Eastern women as well :)
We need more black girls as main characters periodt
This is the discourse that should be included!
YES!
Get into the industry and create them then. There are plenty of black production companies. There are more movies with black characters in the US, than the whole of africa.
That's why "My little pony" is one of the best cartoons for younger audience. There are either "tomboys" and "girly girls" that get along really well and portrayed as strong individuals. For example, Rarity, being interested in clothing, is depicted as hardworking, talented and dedicated person.
This! And I like how the characters are not put into one category or the other, such as Twilight, who isn’t ultra feminine but isn’t a tomboy either. She feels like a real “person” in a way.
@@baldr6894yup twilight always felt the most natural before ghey made her kindda crazy nerd but i still love her
In addition to girly girls who are down-to-earth and smart, it would also be nice to see more tomboys who actually get along with other girls.
yes, someone make a teen drama with an ultra feminine character whose best friend is a tomboy and where they dont want to change each others style or attitude
@@lowquality49
I don't why but your comment remember me to Charlotte and Tiana (The princess and the frog lol)
Es lo más parecido que recuerdo (I don't how to say this in english sorry ;;)
@@lowquality49 love this comment! I think icarly was a pretty good example of this :)
@@kci8479 "It's the closest thing I remember" is what Google Translate gave me.
@@lowquality49 Kady and Janis (from Mean Girls)
"I want traditionally feminine outfits to stop being perceived as high maintenance." THIS!!! As someone who wears dresses most days for the sake of not having to wear pants / only having to put on one garment to create an outfit/comfort, I get "Wow you really tried today," "Why are you so dressed up?" "How early did you have to wake up to get ready?" and "You must really be judging me for my sweats" ALL THE TIME. When in reality, it takes me even less time to put on my clothing and I put no deeper thought into my dress wearing days than my pants wearing days. But women are sooooo high maintenance, of course any woman wearing traditionally feminine clothing must have attenton-seeking motives, be wholeheartedly superficial, and think she's better than everyone else.
traditionally feminine dresses have always been more complicated than pants until 75 years ago...
fr slipping a dress on is sooo much quicker than putting another outfit together and more comfortable lol
It really is easier to put on a dress then to put on pants, unless the dress is too tight
yes! why aren't men's suits seen as high maintenance? All those cuff links and dry cleaning and shoe shining and tight ties...in the summer I wear dresses a lot because I'm too lazy to pull an outfit together! I can just throw it over my head and be done :) but somehow looking cute is never seen as something I did just for myself, even my parents will always ask if there's an event or something whenever I'm looking cute. I just like to look cute! lol
THISSS
Hailee Steinfeld released a song called "Most Girls" that is in perfect contrast to the more recent trend of desiring to be "not like other girls".
"Most girls are smart and strong and beautiful.
Most girls work hard, go far, we are unstoppable.
Most girls are 'fight to win' everyday.
No two are the same.
I wanna be like, I wanna be like, most girls."
That's the chorus and I think it's absolutely fantastic. One of my favorite songs.
Yes! It's one of my favorite songs!
I LOOOOVE this song
That song will forever be one of my favouites
I love that song
And that's true girl power
Here is some shows that have real female empowerment
My little pony,the powerpuff girls classic,supergirl,Wanda vision,ever after high,monster high,Barbie
i hate how dressing well is considered high maintenance. putting on a pretty dress takes the same amount of time as putting on t-shirt and sweatpants.
Yep. My cousin has said he's interested in this girl but she's high maintenance because she wears makeup...I was like I wear makeup and I'm very frugal...makeup doesn't equal high maintenance. I dress super cute but most of my clothing is thrifted...
And dresses let you wear leggings under them! So comfortable. I now refuse to wear jeans; they actually feel more restricting. People try to say that dresses aren’t as practical but I will race anyone wearing jeans in my dress and we’ll just see who wins :) I just wish people would stop asking me what the occasion is. The occasion is I want to wear a dress because I like how it makes me look and feel.
@@maggieburkart907 dresses/skirts also give me nice breezy ventilation down there during hot days. hate how wearing a dress makes ppl automatically assume I'm girly. i just wanted to wear it, it's not that deep
like sorry i’d rather not use 3-in-1 shampoo and enjoy taking care of my skin. the fuck💀
The most insidious part is that people think a woman being high maintenance is a bad thing. If it was a man everybody would approve of it, and call him a boss
When I was younger, I had a phase when I wanted to distance myself as much as possible from "girly things" like pink or skirts because I thought girly girls were dumb and basic. Now that I'm older turns out I love pink and it feels fantastic to wear what you want without it affecting your self sense of intelligence and worth
agreed 100%
I went through that too and i agree with u
same
Same thing
Hard same. I used to make fun of my sister for loving the color pink and baby blue like it was personal attack. But now every time I go, I'm almost always wearing either a dress or skirt with heels
Girl I came out the womb being like “I hate pink, my fav color is blue” just because I didn’t want to be “like other girls” 🙄yeahhhh were past that and I like all colors now 🌈
Exactly, I avoided makeup and skirts/dresses cause I really thought I was different from the other girls... I cringe every time I think about it. So much internalised misogyny 🤡
This reminds me of that exact phase in Elementary school. I always acted "boyish" and I hated pink too since I thought it made me look cool and "not like the other girls". I also refused to wear dresses and skirts since I thought they were too "girly". I'm in highschool now and I'm just so glad I moved out of that phase.
when I was a kid I loved pink but then someone told me that liking pink is childish and I'd outgrow it. after that whenever people asked me what my favourite colour is I'd always say something like blue or black and say I hate colors like pink and purple but we past that now
I remember being in fifth grade and going through my “girl, but not like other girls” phase were I publicly decried pink as the worst color imaginable.
@@impish_snake3526 gosh I was just the opposite of you. I was super "girly" then but now in high school, I found out my extreme liking for more masculine clothing that makes my body look shapeless and showing no skin. I never had an opinion for the color pink but I think I am starting to hate it (more preference for neutral and blue shades). Even though I did go through the "I am not like other girls " phase, I now consider myself equal to all girls. I am starting to think I will be masculine my whole life and that thrills me but seriously people around me need to stop shoving me into skirts and tight clothing, lol. Sorry for the rant
"If a man is assertive he is a boss.If I'm assertive then I'm a bitch." - Nicki Minaj.
THE QUEEN ONIKA
Not Nicki Minaj it’s was actually Aaliyah
Whoever made this quote, it still speaks STRAIGHT FACTS. Not to mention, theyll call you a "triggered feminist" :/ like just let women live
@@precious.a.k3240 To be fair Nicki Minaj also claims to be inhabited by a man so...
And she’s also married to a sex offender so let’s not listen to her.
u know what's sad?, that the opposite of "not like others girls" are women that yep can fight but they are oversexualized and their combat scenes are mainly shots about her ass and her technique is pressing men's head with their thigs"( talking to you marvel).its like damn we can not win either way :(
loved your video , keep doing this ❤️
Not to mention the stupid armor female characters wear in so many movies and video games. Sometimes it’s barely there, while the guys get armor that would actually work against a sword. And when you complain about it, they say that you have a problem with women expressing their sexuality. When that’s not it, I’m fine with some women having boob windows on their armor or whatever for the aesthetic as long as we ALSO get some characters who are sensibly dressed. I want my fighting women to be 👏credible 👏threats, thank you 😊
@@maggieburkart907 I don't get why people think a woman can't look attractive in a regular piece of armor. If it is designed well it can look just a good or even better than the sexualised version.
@@maggieburkart907 Agreed. If they really wanted to do Amazons like in Wonder Woman justice, you’d think they’d research the actual clothing the Scythian women wore (Scythian were what the Greeks based the Amazons off of). And their chest armor WAS NOT shaped to their boobs either, as if it was, arrows would hit their chest more easily and not bounce off like in regular armor. Boob windows were considered dangerous in reality for Scythians.
Cough* cough* black widow
Honestly, and there's always a scene where the woman needs to strip and use her clothes to save her or someone else's life, or she needs to seduce the villain in order to overtake him like really???
also minimizing a woman's opinion by mocking her voice (this is especially true if she has a cute/feminine voice).
YES!!! I have a higher pitched voice and ive been interrupted multiples times mid sentence, been told i sound really young for my age, get told my voice doesnt suite my face, had someone tell me for 10 minutes how my voice suprised him and how 'cutesy' it is, girls have pinched my cheeks. Im older than all of them most of the time 😞
yes this! i have always had a high voice and I never really thought about it until people- random people just walking by- would mimic me if I was speaking to one of my friends. I also hate it when I’m saying something important then they repeat it back to me in a ultra high pitched way l
@@user-of2hm4yz6h yess this has happened to me so many times. I would get mimicked by strangers sometimes when I’m talking to my sister and would get told that I sound like a little kid.
damn now that I think about this, this happens to me a lot and I never even realised it.
My brother, mum and dad do that
This is why cartoons like Totally Spies are super entertaining. Fashionable, smart, and funny girls that kick villain ass? Yes pls.
yes! and the original winx club! each girl had distinctive fashion, personalities, and abilities. and they were better _because_ of it! femininity was presented as unique and powerful.
@@sara-vf5xz yes I absolutely loved the OG winx club. It showed smart, diverse in all aspects, fashionable, strong girls who were different from each other but got along so well. One’s weaknesses were the other’s strengths and they complemented each other so well. The style: awesome, the smarts: awesome. And those were never mutually exclusive. It was great because of that but Netflix decided to make it edgy and make the girls “not like other girls” lol
Totally spies was entertaining but **fetish fuel** 😬
entertaining no, a good show, and the girls are really strong, and ndependent
yesss I love that show
As a black woman, femininity and me have a weird relationship. From as long as I can remember, I felt like I was getting contradicting messages. I loved barbies, I had a Princess room, I liked wearing barrettes; I had feminine interests. But no one wanted me to act “feminine”, and if they did, it was in ways to *present* more feminine. Wear more makeup, but don’t cry, but also not too much makeup. Wear more pink, but don’t be soft. I was in sports where coaches wanted us to literally be “scrappy” and practically fight but I hated it so much. I didn’t even like sports, I more or less got thrown in it.
I’m being told to toughen up in one area, and turn around and ask why I don’t behave “like other girls”. And every time I attempted to dress feminine, everyone would act WAY too shocked, thus making me retreat back to my plain clothes again just so that I can just exist.
As a result, I grew angry at the ultra-feminine archetype and just PINK in general because I felt like people wanted me to be that without allowing me to be soft and have, you know, feelings. To be feminine but “act masculine” when I didn’t want to. So I was just a depressed mess who didn’t know my style until I was in my twenties when I went off to college and found ways to express my femininity that made me happy. And I like pastels and pink again. 💕
To add onto this - black women get SO much shit.
If you’re TOO girly, you’re a diva (and, tbh, everyone also assumes you’re a slut and a gold digger) but if you’re not girly enough, you’re mannish and angry (and also still probably a slut)
Gee, it’s almost like society doesn’t really see black women as… well… women! (Think about how black girls are assumed/described as ‘more mature’ than their white peers, or treated as more inherently sexual or aggressive than other women, even when wearing/doing the exact same things!)
It’s really bullshit. I hope you can get some closure/find things you enjoy!
I think this is why magical girl shows (and magical girl inspired media) has such a draw for me. These girls not only are feminine in to their own degrees, but they gain POWER from femininity. When they transform into their ultra-magical-powerful selves, it’s a fluffy skirt and heels and hair accessories. But even the more masculine girls on the magical girl teams, they embrace a mixture of masculine and feminine traits. There’s a spectrum, and all those expressions of girls are powerful.
Shoutout to Winx Club! (and NOT that trash reboot).
this^^
SAILOR MOON ♡♡♡♡♡
Mermaid Melody Rhina 😍
Cure Gelato from Kira Kira Precure a la Mode.
Shes so cute and I love her. Like shes abrasive, loud, tomboyish if you will but as far as I remmeber she doesnt act like her magical girl transformation giving her adress is embarrassing.
why is a suit the professional standard but why is a dress asking to be sexually harassed?
let's start a Ted talk conversation lol
YES PLEASE!
I think it's, as the video talks about, putting masculinity (and, by extention, men) first. Men take priority, so women have to shed traditionally femme things (in this case, a dress) to be taken seriously, or even to be given an ounce of respect.
no one deserves to be sexually harassed and there is definitely a double standards in other settings (eg. summer time),but this doesnt make sense cos dresses show more bare skin so it will be inevitavly sexualised cos humans are sexual.
@@lillianforrest628 have you seen more than 1 dress in your life? Just curious
@@lillianforrest628 people will sexualize any and everything. In fact there’s a niche for finding women in suits hot. Even modest garments that nuns wear are turned into something “sexy.” Wearing a dress was considered appropriate when women wearing pants was scandalous, so why is it not respected as such now? Because femininity isn’t as “neutral” aka respectable as masculinity.
I agree that it is important to have more strong, powerful women who aren't demonized for being so, represented in media.
But personally I would also like to see more girls who are shy, weak, sensitive or even not particularly smart without being portrayed as either boring/lame/undesirable or romanticized as quirky or cute. Unremarkable girls are valid too!
Being sensitive is a great trait. It is put down because femininity is put down. It’s why a lot of men say “Stop being so sensitive” to women and girls.
@@ima.m.1658 sensitivity itself tho is just seen as a bad trait. Men are often reprimanded for showing emotion. Sensitivity itself should be a normalized trait
@@ima.m.1658 as someone who is really sensitive myself, it sucks for everyone involved. Not really a good trait but it's a valid one
yeah I never see someone like me who is smart but not the smartest and who loves herself is weak and sensitive and falls into both masculine and feminine tropes like women are complex people you can't just put us into one trope
@@lunarialoonatic I agree. The root of it is men not being able to express their emotions and being told that it makes you weaker, so some of them put down women and other men who express their emotions more freely, and this sensitivity is seen negatively.
One thing that’s interesting to me is the concept of the “Goth Rebel Dream Girl”. Because the GRDG often is just as high maintenance (if not more) as the Barbie stereotype. She is also almost always portrayed as being snarky, and mean like the “Mean Girl”, but instead of being demonized she’s fetishized.
And if not fetishized, she’s praised for being “real” and not being “pretentious and stuck up” like the mean girl…even though she’s basically the mean girl without the air of high maintenance
THATS SUCH A GOOD POINT
She is Janice from mean girls
It's so funny to me how often goth girls are often given a role similar to the tomboy, i.e. the "real girl who sees through all that superficial, image-obsessed bullshit." Like... have you ever met a goth girl? Have you seen her makeup collection? Have you witnessed her unique dark-lipstick-preserving eating techniques, or contemplated the effort of stomping from class to class in boots that weigh more than her whole leg? We are the highest-maintenance girls, no question!
@@atlf3357 The portrayal and fetishization of goth girls and tomboys have a surprising amount in common because both often fall into the "Cool Girl" category: the girl who likes "cool dude stuff" - e.g. sports for the tomboy, metal/ punk for the goth girl, beer for both - doesn't like "stupid girly stuff" (which is especially ridiculous if you even think for a second about what doing a full goth face beat entails), and is always down to be casually sexually available to the male protagonist (and probably kind of kinky if goth because OBVIOUSLY anybody who wears corsets and spikes in her daily outfits must be up for anything in bed 🙄)
I saw a tiktok the other day from a girl about dressing up for dinner even when her friends told her they were gonna be bummy and there were SO MANY hateful comments from mostly women saying that girls like these are the worst who try to outdo their friends and im just like... she never said that - youre reading into it because you see everything between women as a competition from internalized misogyny. As someone who likes to dress up and look cute and will take any opportunity to do so, If my friend wants to be comfy and casual if I feel like dressing up im gonna because I like doing it for myself, not because im trying to look better than her and she understands that. Thank you so much for this video it really highlighted something that I had never even recognized before.
Right like I really am dressing hot for myself, not to try and out do my friends in getting people’s attention. But yeah others view this as you are “duffing” your friend when that is not the case. I am not going to force my friend to dress up if she doesn’t want to the same way she won’t get mad at me for dressing up when she didn’t.
@@Hannamarin16 EXACTLY why are we forced to dress the same way at all times. If a guy wanted to wear sweats and his friend wanted to wear khakis and a polo nobody would say shit. If my friend wants to dress comfortably and I want to dress up why do we have to negotiate a compromise.
@Tiara Cova girl dress up!! The point of girls night is to have fun and relax and if you feel the most comfortable and confident dressed up go for it! don't let another girl's insecurity get you down
THIS!!!!!
You are soooo right. And if her friends were (hypothetically) upset with her dressing up because it made them look bad, then that is the friends’ problem, not hers. Dress however you want and if anyone has a problem with it, that doesn’t concern you because you did nothing wrong and it’s them who has the issue.
@@aquarius_aaliyah_1033 if the friends are uncomfortable with it that sounds like something they should talk about. Obviously it is ok to wear what you want but if they are your friends you should think about their feelings too. I’m a man so I don’t understand everything that goes on with these kinds of things but I do understand friends and I’ve adjusted my behaviour around some of my friends because they talked to me about things I didn’t know made them uncomfortable.
Jess from New Girl once said “ I break for birds, I rock a lot of polka dots, I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours, but that doesn’t mean I’m not smart or tough or strong’. This is one of my favourite quotes
I loved that too so much
I slapped that quote on my school planner to remind myself to cheer up when I was being put down for my femininity
it was always hilarious to me that in movies the girly girl was the bully and the tomboy was the nice girl when my entire childhood i was bullied and made fun of for being 'too girly' by tomboys. it's unfortunate because now i can't let myself be unapologetically feminine without feeling self-conscious because of that.
agreed
Righttt!!!! Same experience gurl😭
@@starduststudios5671 what 😃
Yep - it was the NLOGs who were aggressively mean in my experience.
I felt that way too in school. I often felt looked down upon for days when I came in "overdressed" (one teacher literally told me I'm too dressed up for school once because I wore a poofy dress from Forever 21), or for doing my hair and makeup all the time. Some made fun of me for "trying too hard." Meanwhile the girls who were really athletic and came to school in Umbros and pony tails (because they had naturally straight hair) and no make up (because unlike me they had no acne) never got shit on. They were looked at as cool. Getting respect similar to the guys. It's funny because now I'm a PhD candidate in Mathematics... so all their conceptions of girls like me didn't pan out.
i got picked on a lot for “being a girly girl” in elementary because i would wear a lot a skirts, dresses, pink and just stereotypical “girly” things. the more tomboyish girls would get more attention because they’re sporty and more relatable to guys. when i went into middle school, i wanted to fit in so i wore jeans and boring t-shirts. i felt really uncomfortable and in the middle of my 7th grade year, i had to revert back to skirts, dresses and “girly” things. i realized i was just doing that for the approval of everyone else (especially guys). i really don’t care if someone thinks that i’m being girly or wearing cuter clothes or makeup for a guy, because i’m not, i like my style and i wouldn’t change for anyone.
I am a tomboy and I just naturally love casual or "plain" clothes lol. I think the casual look is cool
So speaks my heart, as a girl who has lived a lot with boys, I really would have liked to enjoy my femininity a little more when I was a baby.
honestly i was the same! the amount of passive aggressive comments i got abt my girly style😬
same!!!! I was a girly almost all throughout elementary school, but it was during 3rd grade when everyone started to look down on everything girly. I remember getting picked on and I wanted to fit in so I started dressing like a tomboy.
I only just recently broke out of this and have completely embraced my hyper femininity but I lost so many years of being who I really wanted to be. I have to learn how to do makeup, style my hair, etc. now since I was so afraid of getting picked on again if I did these things.
As a girl who's always been called "princess" or "Barbie" derogatorily growing up, thank you. I'm actually crying.
Im ashamed I ever was that type calling other girls barbies and tought In was not like others girls, i was right to, i was way worse,
how can being called ''princess'' and/or ''barbie'' derogatory to you?
@@underwirez I'm assuming the people saying those things said it as an insult rather than a compliment--making fun of OP for being more feminine
@@everythingz888 well excuuuuuse me, *princess*
@@underwirez Yeah they probably said something like that
I have been saying this forever. When I was a little girl I loved barbie, she was basically my role model; fashionable, multiple careers, rich (her money). Everyone looked at it like oh no you like barbie that's so girly, but it was more than just clothes to me when I looked at barbie. At some point though sadly the "I'm not like other girls" phase got to me but thankfully not for long cause I just loved clothes and make up too much. And now I'm very comfortable with my "girly" side but learned how to be powerful at the same time. And honestly I've never been more proud of myself. I just wish the media would convey that to younger girls. It's okay to love fashion, to love make up, to want a partner, and be the strong powerful woman you want to be on your own.
This is very long but I also wanted to add that I hate how now whenever they wanna convey a strong woman they make her so against the idea of a relationship and "love". Having a partner doesn't make you weak, you can still be your own person with or without a partner.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I really like how you pointed out that strong women can want to be in relationships, too. The idea that we're somehow less then or that we have to be like submissive to be in a relationship has been something that I'm struggling to overcome. Having a partner can be empowering, and it's okay to want one.
Holy crap, I can relate with all of this. And I agree with you so much. You don't have to be masculine or a tomboy to be considered strong, or powerful. Always embrace your femininity. ^^
that’s kinda of why i love wonder woman. shes beautiful, powerful, feminine, has a great job AND had a lover too. amazing
Hate this stereotype so much. Because this was me and is me.
I was always girly, blonde, a dancer, someone who liked baby blue, dresses and skirts, the arts and theater, sowing, make-up and jewelry making, someone who always knew she wanted to be a mother and a teacher.
And so many times I was not taken seriously, mocked with the word "Barbie" in school by guys.
I separated myself from this.
My whole friend group was "not like other girls". We bonded over Mangas and Anime, Cosplay and TV Series and Movies... All these things that made us "different" didn't make us less feminine.
We grew to be very close friends and quickly ditched our sterotypes because we were all still women.
We later had fun days were as many of us as liked wore skirts and dresses.
And despite me being the girly girl and most of my friends being nothing like that, we were incredibly good friends and still are almost three years after finishing school.
Now I'm just a mix of all the things I like and I try not to assign gender to it.
I love LOVE love that last sentence. Omg
I was the opposite of you as a kid, at least with my peers. I was so petrified of being labeled as girly and not taken seriously at school that I refused to ever wear dresses or own anything pink. I wore all my nice clothes only on the weekends because I didn’t want people to think I cared about my appearance. Most people pick a nicer first day of school outfit; I agonized over which T-shirt would look nice but not TOO nice. It got worse when I got into STEM where I’d be only one of a few girls. When my male project partner complained about being paired with me because he thought I was going to want to make our theme “kittens and glitter”, my first response was to be indignant that he thought I would ever like those things, and not that he was being a sexist jerk who had an irrational problem with cute animals and a “girly” aesthetic.
When I started at a traditionally women’s college I suddenly couldn’t find it in myself to care. I knew I wasn’t gonna be in male-dominated classes where I would have to fight to have my ideas heard and respected, and looking more feminine wasn’t gonna make my peers respect me less. I started wearing dresses almost every day because I love looking more feminine, and I really wish I’d had the courage to embrace that side of me earlier, instead of worrying about this stupid stereotype.
Now I was a target of a group of "pick me" girls when I was in preparation classes for law school. I was always a typical blonde girly girl. I like feminine clothes, make up, my room is pink with cute little decorations, I like cute little animals and pop songs. When I walked into class they all saw me as the one who'll not make it. I once overheard them placing bets about who's gonna get into law school and of course they laughed when they mentioned me. They silly couldn't believe that I'm studying as much as them, that I'm not a brain dead bimbo. They always commented on how do I make time to study when I'm out there posting pics of me and my friends with cocktails, how do I study between doing my eyeliner and picking out my outfit for the day. It didn't even occur to them that one can both study and have fun in their free time. One can be serious about their future and care about looking pretty. I was one of the few that got in with a pretty high score while they didn't. They couldn't believe their eyes when they saw the results and of course they had to shame me by saying that I have connections in the uni or that I've slept with someone. Why can't people accept that pinky blonde girls can also be competent and strong?
Tbh, I regret being caught up in the 'ultrafemininity hate' and riding in the 'not like other girls' train. Because of this, it was way too late when I finally learned how to dress myself up and even put on make up. Now that I am an adult, I still struggle to rid my system of that internalized hate for femininity. But I am glad that I am finally learning to embrace the different faces of femininity.
A lot of us are in the same boat. I had so much internalized misogyny, I was a huge "not like other girls" girl back in high school and college lol It truly hindered my self expression and growth, until a switch flipped and I realized that society despises women and wants us to feel bad over everything we do or don't do. And I did not want to be a part of that.
Now I love ultra feminine things, I'm nearing 30 & own a ton of stuffed animals that I find adorable, my wardrobe is comprised of a lot of plaid and pleated skirts and I love my pink glittery makeup... And I love it! I dress up for myself since what others think really doesn't matter - life is too short to care, really.
Same. YT makeup tutorials are a godsend
I was the same too..I thought it was a huge compliment when guys said to me that I'm not like other girls. Now I have realised that it's not and there's nothing wrong with the other girls or being one. (Later realised that im queer and I tried to hate what I liked lol)
I agree that the prejudice against femininity is bad, but I understand it. I don't think it stems from either feminism or misogyny, but simply from resentment and our society's knee-jerk impulse toward equality. Nobody likes a "Little Miss Perfect" - or a "Mister Perfect," for that matter. There's always a desire to tear down "superior" people (known as the "tall poppy syndrome" in Japanese culture), if only to reinforce the ideal that all humans are - or are supposed to be - equal. Humiliating the "powerful" is always a lot easier and ego-stroking than building up the "weak." Neuroticism and self-loathing also plays a role. If you're a girl who thinks she's "ugly" and that she always will be, it's not unusual for you to succumb to the "sour grapes" mindset, concluding that beauty is inherently bad and that if a girl is "superior" then she must be a supremacist. Similarly, men who tend to get nervous around women come to resent the beauty they secretly long for, and if they don't have good luck with women they're even more likely to conclude that good-looking women are naturally mean and stuck-up.
This is why complete equality is important to me. If you're confident in yourself and not obsessed with the fact that you're discriminated against, you're much less likely to discriminate against others. I spent a lot of my youth reflexively hating and vilifying people I thought were better than me, but I never felt completely comfortable doing it. Indeed, I felt I was being a massive hypocrite. Prejudice is bad, no matter who's the victim of it. There is no such thing as "punching up," because the whole point of discriminating against others is to bring them down. Fighting inequality and injustice is one thing, but we must remember to "hate the sin, love the sinner." Even if "perfect" people really are cruel to you, forgive them, and recognize that they've been cruel not because they are "perfect," but because they're grappling with the same societal insecurities you are. NOBODY is perfect.
ill always be mad at media for making me hate my femininity. i hated dresses, makeup, pink, or anything considered "feminine". i might be questioning my own "woman-ness" right now but being feminine is important to me, it comforts me. and im mad that it took so long to realize that it was ok to feel comfortable in my own femininity
and honestly what gave me the confidence to be traditionally feminine again was Winx. seeing beautiful and kind women kicking ass in heels, skirts, styled hair, and pink, allowed me to break past my "not like other girls" view of myself
I love how many people in this comment section are sharing this same experience. It definitely makes me feel more valid, thank you.
Once I realized that I could be super feminine, wear gorgeous pink dresses, do my makeup, be obsessed with Disney princesses AND be a women in STEM, that’s when my self esteem went up. I don’t have to choose. And I love that for me :3
Yes yes yes yes I'm the same!!
Same! That only happened for me when I went to a traditionally all-women’s college and suddenly I wasn’t one of three girls in my computer science classes and that pressure to act like one of the guys to be taken seriously was gone. Now I’m in dresses every day :)
Samee!!! 🤩
Same except I’m interested in politics
Yes Queen 👑 I work in Corporate and ultra serious when I'm on the clock, but once my manager kept me company at a mall after our meeting and saw how mad I went for little unicorn dolls and the cute outfits.
this really just shows how deep our societal and personal conceptions of gender go. exactly why coming out as enby rlly made me rethink so many things
The gender binary really has the world locked in its grip and it’s (been) time for us to let ! it ! go !
enby is part of that deep societal conception as well though when you have to create a label just because you don't relate to two cultural and social boxes.
@@djcoolbeat6934 Yes.. It's basically just putting yourself in another box.
@@djcoolbeat6934 that is actually a fair point, though non-binary does encompass many forms of identification compared to the binary m/f
@@djcoolbeat6934 you’re 100% correct. It’s funny how a lot of them don’t realize this.
It’s so annoying when all my friends and classmates are like “omg I hate pink, You know well...I’m like a part of the guys and I love anime uwuwuwuwuwuwuwu.” And they get so surprised when I tell them I like pink, I like trying to draw semi-realism, I wear corsets and I’m just genuinely feminine.
I don’t hate all girls that like alt music and are rather masculine, I just hate the girls that think that being feminine is horrible and that being “one of the guys” is superior.
And, I also hate the stereotype that “oh if she’s masculine, she’s a lesbian” like wtf? Just because a girl likes masculine things, football, working out and darker shades of colours doesn’t automatically decide her sexuality for her. Sometimes it may be true but come on, I’ve seen plenty of fem lesbians (myself included). It’s like no girl can wear what she wants bc if she is feminine, she is a bimbo and if she is masculine, she is a pick me.
People also need to know that you can be a tomboy and like pink and purple and you can be girl and like blue and black
Oh man, that is what I hate about the talk around George Fayne from the Nancy Drew series. She is a definite tomboy but is obviously interested in guys, but a certain section of the fandom will block anyone who doesn't think she is a lesbian. It gets rather frustrating, to say the least.
I think there are two ways to be feminine. One is just looking good, having a real personality and interests beyond beauty and make up, not viewing every other woman as a competition, having ethical values etc. And the other 'feminine' type is this hyper femininity and only the interest to look good and to attract men by being toxic and putting others down. These women over do it and look loke caricatures of women to me.
Third option: " And if she is neither, she's a feminist, because masculine girls behave 'too much like boys', and feminine girls are considered as 'reinforcements of the misogynist patriarchy' "
I am a masculine girl who is a lesbian, but I hate the stereotype that if a girl is masc she’s a “pick-me”. That comes under the assumption that women do everything for men and it’s so weird
This is why Elle Woods will forever be my icon, she is a fashion queen whilst being super smart, ambitious and successful on her own
I read somewhere that when women say "I'm not like other girls" a lot of what they mean is "please don't treat me like you treat other girls" and that really hit me where I live.
I don't know how I exactly I came across this channel but hell yeah I'm here for this analysis and those sleeves!
Damn, I never really thought about it that way...now that you mention it...that’s probably where it stems from...”Since I’m not like other girls, please alter future communications with me as your equal and not your subordinate...”
i actually really like miss congeniality because it depicts a stereotypical “not like other girls” character who learns to appreciate “other girls” and respects their interests eventually
Yes the second movie was great.
God's Son is coming back soon, repent while there is still time! DO NOt take the mark of the beast vaccine! New World Order is here! Stock up on food and necessities! The Bible said many would die of famin ee
@@starduststudios5671 how is that related to a "not like other girls" thing?
miss congeniality is rlly bad she just conforms to modern beauty standards at the end
This movie was amazing!!!💖💖
The demonization of ultra-femininity is what killed the Winx live-action. They made it gritty and masculine and stripped it of all it's femininity, sparkle, and fun. Hollywood! Stop making the girly girl the bad guy!
Aww, that sucks I really love the femininity, glittery, fun.
They really need to stop demonizing girly girls.
Not all girly girls are good guys
@@PrincessMavenKittyDarkholme yes we know and she didn't say they are.
@@mel818 they complain about women ALWAYS being in the right. But when they get the opposite
They cry
@Magic Roadrunner anti sjws
This is exactly why Winx should have portrayed the characters as they were in the original rather then twisting it
I got through about three seconds of the trailer and a few review videos of that. Didn’t even watch the show; too painful.
stella was my favourite character in the original winx because she was ultra feminine and vain but she was still shown to be kind hearted and giving, she could recognize when she messed up (sometimes it had to be pointed out to her) and she would apologize for being mean. stella was such a great character and i’ll never forgive fate for butchering her so completely
@@daisyelizabeth5462 They portrayed her as the spoilt, rich, blonde girl who was basically Diaspro. They really messed it up, I do like the body positivity in Fate though, other than that, its trash.
Did they come out with a new Winx Club?
@@bluemark25 Nope, Netflix made a remake of it named, 'Fate: the Winx Saga'.
i couldn’t agree more about how i want more characters like Elle Woods, Sharpay Evans etc., because personally i have never been able to shift into being accepted as a tomboy or not like other girls, because i enjoy my femininity, but that comes with the cost of being constantly undermined despite excelling at thing just as boys in society do, but not ever coming close to getting the praise i deserve and when i voice this, it’s considered annoying whining from a princess who probably cares more about the colour of her shoes than her grades and knowledge of the world, when in reality she damn well could calculate circles around you in physics and do it while looking flawless thank u very much💅🏻
yes queen !!!
@@Shanspeare aaaaaahh, this feels like a goddess has smiled upon me🥺✨
Yes! I can relate. I’m a feminine feminist, both things that insecure men and pick me’s hate.
we need more movies like Legally blonde that celebrate feminine, multifaceted women. And from a WOC perspective I was really excited to see Tahani from the good place being an ultra feminine WOC character. We need girly girls of all body types, skin colors, and races.
@@alyssapinon9670 exactly! Elle Woods and Tahani are super feminine, but they’re also really smart and have a well-rounded character. I wish there were more characters who are super feminine yet have other personality traits such as being kind, smart, badass, etc.
Yes! I'm in school for IT (for the record, I'm from Poland and our schooling system works differently, I'm 19 years old, this is pretty much how I'll be treated like for the rest of my life), which is still considered a field for guys and I want to study physics later on. I'm feminine, I like my femininity, I like pastel colours, glitter, short skirts, platforms. Sadly, that also means I'm undermined by both my teachers and my classmates. I like to think of myself as pretty inteligent and capable when it comes to math and physics, hell, I have the best understanding of physics in my entire class and love to study it on my own. But I'm still seen as dumber than boys in who get praised for barely passing their exams. I love the few girls that are in my classes, but you can clearly see the ones who fall under tomboy category are seen as superior to us feminine girls by teachers. I hope one day I'll be seen as equally capable and smart to men and tomboyish girls, I hate that what I wear or how I act is somehow a way to judge my intelligence.
being a woman is such a double-edged sword, because if your "girly" your shallow and vain, and if you a tom-boy you get told to become more feminine, and the way women who grew up in the spotlight like Miley Cyrus and jojo siwa get told to either stop growing up so quickly or to grow up and change who they are is so frustrating
@Anthony Lopez I agree. Im a girl and one of my male friends wanted to wear something nice to school, and it wasnt even "girly". But toxic masculinity and all that got the best of the boys in my school. Anyone not dressed in hoodies and shorts is immediately labeled gay, and use it as insults. It really does suck to be human
@@chocolategranola6796 and gay shouldn’t even be an insult, it’s homophobic
@@Sam-hk9go exactly
Also strong woman are always viewed as lesbians, don’t have any hate towards them, but it’s stupid how a women can be strong, and have a strong mindset, but can’t be straight and date cishets. Like why can’t strong woman date men? Or be tomboyish, and be with a man who loves her, without changing her style to be accepted by the boy. Another trope I hate, is when a woman/girl isn’t interested in any guys, and is assumed to be a lesbian, which has happened to me, it’s like no, I’m just not interested. Why do I need to find every boy hot?
@@Snow-xd4rv yeah I think many people assume badass women are lesbians because, they can still have a “damsel in distress” which is dumb why can’t there be a dude getting captured. tho I would be lying if I said i didn’t want more confirmed wlw badasses
its WILD how the 'tomboy' is held up as the ideal, non-"bitchy", "one of the guys" girls in a lot of media when irl, masc women get TRASHED on so hard. ESPECIALLY by men, who cannot hold them as objects of desire. I'm transmasc nonbinary, but pretty much everyone I meet assumes i'm just a masculine woman, and I get absolutely ridiculed and treated like a failure by pretty much all men around me when I don't perform femininity to their standards. It's one of the things thats always confused me about media like this. Yeah, the guys will be your friend and keep you around... to laugh at you and your failure at being a woman behind your back or, more often, TO YOUR FACE.
And then they'll IMMEDIATELY turn around and shit on high-femme women for performing femininity TOO hard. It's fucking wild to witness.
It's true. Men like that seriously don't need much to feel like criticising women either way. Whether you're more feminine or more masculine, to them you're no good if you're not willing to listen to their shitty values or adapting to their personal wants and needs, even though you're not even fucking dating or ever intending to lmaooo.
its almost like .. they hate women.. 🤔
Because for these “not like other girls” “tomboy” girls to even be considered worthy they also have to be inherently beautiful and desirable. When women stop trying to be perceive as desirable they are ridiculed and punished.
Great thread!!! 👑💖💯💥🔥
To be fair, both men and women criticise everyone... Those guys must criticise each other a lot too if they're that fixated on criticising a woman they're "friends" with.
I would like to add that marilyn monroe in "gentlemen prefer blondes" at first sight seems as a dumb blonde but throughout the movie it is shown that she isn't as "naive" as she seems, but she acts as if because "men like it"
Her role in that movie is so underrated, and definitely before it's time. It's a shame like you said she was a switched on character (as she was as a person) yet Hollywood ignored that part and took the bimbo side and ran with it. Unfortunately it stuck like mud. Monroe was very aware of this too.
Thank you so much for this. I am a 53 year old woman who was raised in second wave feminism, but who is naturally ultra girly. My whole life people are shocked when I say that I’m a feminist. You younger women understand the world so much better than most of my generation. ❤️💕
@EMPEROR OF MISOGYNY go read the real definition of feminism instead of staying mad with your twisted idea of it.
@EMPEROR OF MISOGYNY judging by your name, I will rightfully assume you are a troll.
@EMPEROR OF MISOGYNY I am concerned with your eyesight then, you should probably have a check up
@EMPEROR OF MISOGYNY Ah, you probably think "destroying feminists" is still funny. Move on dude,move on.
@EMPEROR OF MISOGYNYyou're so triggered that you guessed I was a girl.
i like makeup, i like sports, i like feminine clothes, i love socialising/making friends, i like all types of music, i don't love studying but im good at a few subjects. idc if im a girly girl or a tomboy, all i know is that im a girl who has lots of different interests and that doesn't make me better or worse than anyone else.
God's Son is coming back soon, repent while there is still time! DO NOt take the mark of the beast vaccine! New World Order is here! Stock up on food and necessities! The Bible said many would die of famin ee
I feel you. That’s what I’m like too!
exactly, that just makes you
EXACTLY!
Amen!
I remember, as a kid, still adoring pink despite the negative rep Hollywood gave it. I always thought of it as “pink is just a good thing mean people just so happen to like. But Barbie and Aurora and Pinkie Pie like it too and they’re nice.” That was literally all the proof that I needed in my mind that liking pink wasn’t inherently evil, lol.
I hate that main characters are usually "different" or "one of the boys" and directors are like "look it's a female main character who is strong and independent" but the only way they think the character can be strong and independent is by making them "one of the boys" because they think the only way of being strong and independent is being masculine. also, I don't like that strong independent women are labeled as "different", because then they are pretty much saying most women are stupid and weak.
That's because they are. There's the dumb blonde cheerleader stereotype for a reason. And girls who say like all the time sound PRETTY stupid, imo.
@@madisoncrum9212 no girl u just have internalized misogyny 😭
@@madisoncrum9212 yikes 😬, that's embarrassing
@@madisoncrum9212 girl internalized misogyny much?
@@madisoncrum9212 tell me you have internalised misogyny without telling me you have internalised misogyny. Sweetie you don’t have to hate that trope, we girls got you, please educate before your mindset causes other girls to feel bad for themselves. I’ve been there to, and you’ll be happier if you got out of that 💕
Even the simplest thing is scrutinised to push apart the two “categories” of girls - when I dyed my hair blonde the first comments I got where that I was turning into Barbie and that now I really fit into the stereotypical “cheerleader look” (which is a badass sport overlooked because our uniforms are sparkly ffs)
It is! I’m scared of cheerleading because I’m afraid of falling and getting hurt. You guys are daredevils!
Alyssa Pinon Aaah it feels so nice when people think the sport is cool x
A lot of people think golf is more of a sport than cheer and it just gets me out of my mind
@@mayohooe1397 I feel like people shit on both sports but maybe that’s because golf was mostly girls at my school. Just goes to show that femininity is devalued
Alyssa Pinon Yh honestly... men must be scared of us idk
@@mayohooe1397 they are! I was saying in another comment that I’m feminine and a feminist, both things that insecure men and pick me women fear 😂
That’s why I think characters like Suki from Avatar should be used as a standard rather than as an outlier in the media’s portrayal of femininity. One of my favorite lines of the show is Sokka apologizing to Suki for not respecting her as a warrior but only seeing her as a woman, to which she kisses him on the cheek(get it girl) and says “I am a warrior, but I’m a girl too”
Omg I love that scene too! And I loved Suki.
Well all of the female characters of Avatar are amazing, remember that episode when Toph and Katara got makeup and Katara protected her when other girls were making fun of Toph.
I also love Katara, Ty Lee, and Mai, who were also examples of highly feminine characters who weren't portrayed as villains for it.
When I was younger I thought I shouldn’t be feminine that I would be looked down upon for wearing a skirt or liking pink, so in subconscious ways I didn’t act feminine, even if I didn’t register it. I realize now this is one of the reasons why and recently have been trying to embrace feminine things which I neglected myself from for so long. I love lace and flowing things so slowly I’m filling up my closet with things like that while still maintaining some of my old elements.
Exactly! I refused to wear skirts as a kid for the same reason. And God forbid I had anything with pink on it. Now I wear dresses almost every day :). Pink is still a struggle, some biases are hard to break
"She's coveted because she's considered masculine" holy shit i screamed u just spit facts
Not true. Masculine women still get treated like women at the end of the day. They still face sexism just like all women do.
No one likes frilly girly stuff anymore, except gays like me. get over it
@@blooeyedtigger3145 they do but the point of the video is that they get more upheld in certain fields bc they’re “relatable”
It made me sad and frustrated to see women bash other women for embracing their femininity and interests. When I was younger I embraced loving the color pink and being a huge fan of One Direction which other girls tried to ridicule me. I was a hard ass and always stuck with the idea that it’s okay to be unapologetically “girly-girl” while having other interests.
YOU GO GIRL💓
there’s this video by a youtuber called amanda and it’s titled ‘ let’s talk about society’s hatred of teenage girls’. the video is kinda long but she discusses every angle to the issue you mentioned in your comment! if you’re interested check it out :) bc i agreed w everything she said in it
@Souhailla D that’s thing I embraced my own femininity that wasn’t subscribing to the idea of what society said a woman should be doing, no fetishes or links from men. I did my own thing liking pink for it’s radiant shade and liking boy bands and pop music because it made me happy. Putting on makeup because I liked the way I looked in. But also I would watch anime and read manga and be interested in “nerdy” things like Marvel and Yugioh. I didn’t let anyone take away my femininity nor tell me what I should be doing with it.
This is why Legally Blonde slaps. It's just a girly girl originally trying to impress a guy doing law and then finding her dream, all while being more feminine.
Some of my family still thinks I hate pink and all things girly 😩 no guys !! i was WRONG!!! give me pink and flowers and skirts and dresses!!!!
YES
Urrghhh, same. My sister won't stop reminding me of some "I hate pink" phase I don't even remember.
I can relate....
sameee
Same. Every time I buy a pink dress I get comments on the color from my family.
As a trans boy who always loved the high femme aesthetic, now that I've transitioned some and am comfy with my body I've gone all in. long hair, big sunglasses, acrylics, dresses, makeup, whole shebang. I love all displays of high femininity, and I'm hopeful that eventually we get them for trans ppl too! not just trans men like me, but trans women and non-binary ppl too! (we also deserve masc/butch trans women/n-bs too :>)
as a trans masc teen i also like to be feminine sometimes or simply not too masculine and its honestly unnerving how other trans men once belittled me for being feminine or for being the embodiment of the "soft uwu trans boy" stereotype. im happy to see someone like me
@@lowquality49 some trans men unfortunately give into toxic masculinity and internalized Transphobia. they try to police what it means to b a trans boy bc they think ppl like us r what causes cis ppl to not like trans ppl, or they're scared that we're also boys but in a different way.
Cis ppl fetishizing & over emphasizing the 'uwu soft boy stereotype' (esp while ignoring/demonizing amab n-b soft boys) is bad, but we as trans ppl just existing aren't 'reinforcing stereotypes'. we mayb destroying gender roles, exploring our history, avoiding prejudice & more. that's rad & good!
There's tons of feminine, not masc, androgynous and tons of other types of trans men, of all ages, sexualities, races, and all other bgs, we have a history and community and belong as much as any high masc 'cis reading' binary trans dude bein shitty to u, I promise.
I'm sorry you experienced that and I hope you find more of us and your community soon! u can hmu on twitter @/pinkman1c if u want :>💙
Yes me too. I didn't wear dresses for a long time, and was ashamed of the fact that I did ballet because it subconsciously made me feel like a girl, but the instant I accepted that I was a demiboy, I realized that I actually do like being feminine, and now I paint my nails and wear dresses all the time.
Here’s to men wearing dresses, women wearing suits, enbies wearing capes, and everyone wearing whatever the hell they please! I love it when people are able to express themselves and be happy!
There is a webtoon called "let's play" that has a super ultra feminine character in it, and everyone, including me, saw her in the beginning as the "evil, catty, b*tchy woman," trope, but it did a great job at humanizing her and making the audience realize how often we see that trope and challenging our notions of that trope. I love her character and I'm glad the artist depicted her that way.
I love her too! I totally forgot her name but I know who you are talking about. I was so happy to see that she was actually a well made character who had a life and a brain outside of the main guy and her job as a beauty youtuber. Especially because she uses make up and shows confidence which are usually used as antagonistic traits. I’m very happy that she befriended Sam and allowed her to embrace her femininity as well
webtoon?like korean webtoon?i thought it's the opposite there.i thought they actually appreciate feminine girls...
@@thegirlwithaprilinhereyes9177 depends on the form of media and the person I don’t know if you are referring to Korea specifically or Asia as a whole but anywhere you go people will scrutinize a women no matter what they do. Also a lot of WEBTOONS that are in English is mainly dominated by the west so stereotypes like that find their way into comment sections.
Monica QUEEN. I actually really hate that webtoon now, I find Charles toxic and creepy af but I absolutely adore Monica. She's such a sweetheart ❤️ and I want a webtoon all about her
God's Son is coming back soon, repent while there is still time! DO NOt take the mark of the beast vaccine! New World Order is here! Stock up on food and necessities! The Bible said many would die of famin ee
as a feminine gay man, I feel like you can't be "feminine" without "you just wanna be a regina george". I just like the ultra feminine aesthetic.
As a lesbian, I personally think that Regina George's leadership skills and killer instincts can be channeled to do amazing good for the world, and I for one, think we need more feminine people to come into their power like she did (but without the relational aggression).
For me it’s Hetaher Chandler teehee
The “not like other girls” trope is nasty and ofc needs to die, but this recent trend of using that label as a weapon against women is just as bad imo. it seems like every time someone who just happens to be female has a differing opinion or is negative, people bring out the “pick me girl” pitchforks even when it has nothing to do with gender. Plus, we never criticize boys quite this way, even though I’d say that men are equally pretentious. What was once a valid criticism of a terrible trope has morphed into another way to make gender-based critiques, and disproportionately scrutinize women when men do the same thing (but it isn’t acknowledged nearly as often or as intensely).
Even worse, I see a lot of men use the NLOG or quirky girl to insult women as 'faking' for _their_ attention, completely ignoring the nuanced reasons why young women feel like they need to project that.
I mean guys face all sorts of negative stereotypes too...and I'd argue hyper masculinity characters are often villains or mean people in movies and shows too...and I dont think it's wrong for their to be mean hyper feminine women characters or hyper masculine man characters. But it definitely shouldnt be all the time. You can be super girl and not be a shallow or bad person. Same for masculinity. And of course theres males and females with a mix feminine and masculine traits and Tom boys etc etc.
forreal I told someone I was depressed and they mocked with the whole i am not like other girls thing Isaid I felt differnet and like an outcast because at thetime I was getting bullied
Honestly I don’t care whether someone is a guy or a girl. Or if their interests are “mainstream” or “quirky”. As long as they aren’t jerks about it. I don’t think we actually hate femininity and basicness itself. we just tend to associate it with people who are jerks (even though anyone can be a jerk regardless of their interests). And if we don’t like that kind of behavior we shouldn’t act like one ourselves.
Fr, women can't do _anything_ without getting attacked or insulted. Want to present more traditionally masculine or like traditionally masculine things? She's obviously a pick me and trying to be "quirky". Want to present more traditionally feminine or like traditionally feminine things? Obviously she's shallow and vain, weak, and only cares about her appearance.
I remember as a kid I activeIy avoided being uItra girIy even though I wanted to be. Because every character i saw in media that was very girIy was superficiaI, seIfish, dumb, etc.
When I started watching my IittIe pony I was so happy to see an extremeIy feminine character that was aIso very kind. (Rarity). I think she heIped me Iearn that me Iiking makeup, sewing, etc. wasn’t that bad.
rarity was also a huge inspiration for me, because I was used to every feminine character being shallow and rude and snobbish. but rarity was actually really kind and generous
I really like My Little Pony for that reason. Rarity is an amazing character, creative and determined to succeed, and all of the episodes that deal with her having artistic troubles are really relatable.
And the best part is that she's not the only one: we have Pinkie Pie, who, well, is all pink and bubbly (she's my favorite character, I just think her motivation to make everyone smile is just so noble and amazing), Fluttershy (cottagecore dream), Twilight (girly bookworm who is actually awkward but in a fun way and still values practicality), and all of them are so different because there's no one way to be feminine. There's not just one way to be a girl, it's a spectrum [quoted from Lauren herself]. Even Applejack and Rainbow Dash are amazing in their own way even when they're more masculine than the others, and although they sometimes make fun of the femininity of the others, they acknowledge that they have different tastes, and take accountability if they've made the others feel bad.
Same, but I also saw how guys were seen as gods in a lot of shows and I kind of wanted that which also influenced my masculinity as a little girl
movies and tv shows like this fueled my internalized misogyny as a kid. since girly characters were portrayed as "vain" or "shallow" i began to resent femininity bc i thought it made me "different." thankfully i grew out of that lol. eventually i realized that i can be a feminist who likes books and superheroes while *also* being girly. society needs to stop putting women into boxes smh
I wouldn’t say I’m quite the same. Actually, maybe opposite in some ways. Growing up (and this could possibly be an age difference thing, I’m not sure how old you are) I felt a bit weird being tomboyish because I was different from most of my friends and sisters when it came to “girly” stuff. I guess especially having a typically “girly” older sister and me completely lacking any interest in that made it so much more apparent. And even watching shows or movies even the “tomboyish” girls looked glamorous and done up with makeup to me so I would less often be able to relate. Now, I’ve change a little. I think I’m a bit more “feminine” in some aspects but really I just don’t really care about things like this anymore. I’m a woman and whatever my interests or personality traits are will never diminish or change that.
Me too yo, I'm so glad I grew out of it
I’ve always and still like the color pink, not because I think I should but because I just like the color and back then it was actually seen as a color for boys and the girl color was blue
@@abbysworld05 yeah, I’ve read that too and the meaning behind the colors which is cool to look into and see how they have changed or how differently all colors are perceived across different cultures.
personally, i love being/dressing feminine because it ACTUALLY makes me feel pretty and some people should understand that
dressing/being ultra feminine =/= supporting gender stereotypes
But you support gender stereotypes by dressing ultra feminine bc you want to fit in this stereotype.
I am so glad you brought uo the homophobic remarks that they gave Justin Bieber and other boy bands
and that some people still continue to give 😕 it's so disgusting
@@shineinstars justin bieber is lesbian 🥰
and now the same is happening with shawn mendes .
Exactly they same thing is happening to BTS or other kpop groups
@@fairoadiary yep, it's a gross blend of homophobia and racism
This is why I love Taylor Swift so much. She has never apologized for being a girly girl. She loves her glitter, sparkly dresses, red lipstick, and pastel colors and is still one of our generations best song writers and freely speaks her mind.
“I wanna love glitter and also stand up for the double standards that exist in our society. I wanna wear pink, and tell you how I feel about politics. I don’t think those things have to cancel each other out.” - Taylor Swift
Exactly. She's such an inspiration! She's such a powerful, ambitious, independent girly girl (well, she's a woman now but you know what I mean). I feel like misogyny is one of the reasons why she's been villainised so much by the media which is really sad. #Swiftie
That line in Taylor Swift's You Belong With Me, where she talks about how the other girl wears heels and skirts always irritated my soul because what does the fact that she wears heels have to do with him not belonging with her 🙄 like dressing cute makes her a bad person. Idk I thought it was just me but it annoyed me lol.- COPIED but just something to be aware of
@@daniellesloley628 also that was like 13 years ago when she was like 17. she’s grown and she’s actually talked about that and her song better than revenge that kinda falls into that same category. (also that line was just supposed to show how opposite they are, she lists other reasons why she belongs with him :) )
@@daniellesloley628 she was 17 then, and i think all girls had a "not like other girls" phase. She's an adult now, and shes matured a lot, both musically and mentally.
Exactly so. Especially in comparison to Cordelia. The pair demonstrate that being girly doesn't make you an asshole. Being an asshole makes you an asshole. But also that an asshole can grow up and out of it.
it’s pretty sad to see how media indirectly influences women to be kinda misogynistic. i’m glad that it is changing over the years.
it really hasn’t though
@@bwuddybunni5033 Yep, everything is still the same. Woman are way more egotistical nowadays because of social media.
@@cristianabraham384 Wow, what a load of crap. Yes, we still need more change but don't try to slip in a demonisation of women in there. So insidious. As if men aren't influenced by social media.
@@nodmyhead6198
and people are promoting the idea of men being demonized as if men haven't treated women like crap for centuries or something
In my experience, I've had people say that I'm not woman enough, cause I don't wear what they thought a woman should wear. I kept getting bullied by boys, constantly, and I remembered telling my mom about that. My mom had the nerve to say, "Well,maybe if you made yourself look more acceptable, they would not bother you.", 🙄🙄🙄. I do remember when I did dress up one day, cause I just wanted to look nice. Two of my friends thought I was dressing up for a boy.🙄🙄🙄.
Do you girl. Dont let someone dictates who you are or what you like.
This was so so good! This put so much into perspective. Thank you for the historical breakdown and pop culture references.
THIS IS WHY LEGALLY BLONDE IS SO IMPORTANT!!!
Also this is a great video and way too underrated!! Already subbed!
Being Ultra feminine is amazing. For me personally I work a masculine job so outside of work I like to be really girly I love pink accessories and doing family things like getting my hair and nails done. I miss the old days when shows like the Winx Club showcased powerful women that were also extremely feminine
I have a similar situation, I like looking feminine, I prefer skirts over pants, I like feminine shoes like heels and heeled boots over regular shoes, and I like keeping my hair long, but personality wise I act more "masculine" I swear more than I should, I 'm interested in stuff like fighting. Since it was either be fully feminine or fully masculine I never felt like I really fit in.
Winx Club was a work of art. All of them were girly and had great fashion sense, yet they were also super badass. They were super feminine yet were kickass. However, we don’t have such stuff anymore, because, apparently, we can only be one.
@@luuuuux_ Yeah I watched Winx club when I was young and now I'm only realizing how iconic it was. Half of the group were woman of color, showed you can be feminine and kick ass, showed how important friendship is, and lets not forget this show was made in 2004 so all this stuff is pretty impressive for it's time. I hate how the Winx reboot white washes two of the three woman of color, made them act like them have an antagonistic relationship with eachother and only team up because they had to, and downgraded them to a bunch of basic tropes like making Stella "the mean girl" and Aisha "supportive black friend".
@@femmefatale4442 I’m currently rewatching the series! I also noticed how I was a lot more stereotypically feminine when I was younger but then rejected it in my early teens. This is because I believed that being ‘girly’ (ugh) was dumb and that ppl weren’t gunna take me seriously. So I wanted to be a tomboy and not like other girls 😂
me too!!!
when i was a preteen i used to hate every female main character on sight, because i had heavily internalized misogyny, and it takes so much effort and unlearning damaging tropes to get over those ideals. (im sorry sakura, it's not your fault that you're badly written and have pink hair)
Buffy is such a good example of a strong yet feminine character. She is strong, smart, and embraces her femininity.
same with Cordy. you know until joss whedon has a temper tantrum
Y E S.
God's Son is coming back soon, repent while there is still time! DO NOt take the mark of the beast vaccine! New World Order is here! Stock up on food and necessities! The Bible said many would die of famin ee
@@starduststudios5671 i’m gay.
@@starduststudios5671 no
Shanspheare:"I want a character who is both ultra-smart and ultra-feminine"
Script Writer: laughs
Directors: laughs
Hollywood laughs:
Elle Woods: "What, like its hard?"
Watch Mr. Sunshine on Netflix and Spielberg’s West Side Story ;)
You didn't mention her but Cher from Clueless was a girly girl who was often dismissed because of her femininity- but was smart, kind, and generous.
I don't think she was smart
@@mjj7781 the movie shows that intelligence comes in many ways. yes, she was naive at times, but also showed traits like ambition and discipline. Cher was also very socially intelligent, gaining popularity thanks to her charisma and was almost always able to talk herself out of anything
@@b1ueixia00 I guess she was gaining popularity bc she was a rich kid wearing fashionable clothes (thanks to her superficiality), this has nothing to do with a actual charisma. Ever seen a rich kid being alone and that no one wanted to be friends with? Talking herself out of situations (sounds like though lying and gaslighting) is somehow "smart", a smart person wouldn't bring themselves there in the first place. I didn't see the movie so I don't know what you are referring to. I once zapped in a scene where someone wanted to rob her in the street and told her to lay down and she denied it (don't know what she did in the end) bc she was wearing a designer dress. This scene meant to be funny but she put her designer dress before her health in the first place. This scene just showed her superficiality and her materialistic values. Didn't watch further bc she already was too stupid for me.
@@mjj7781 She has actual charisma too. You wouldn’t have seen that much of it earlier in the movie, but she essentially takes an unfashionable “underdog” under her wing, building her self-esteem by forging her in her image, and by making that image (very skillfully) seem so alluring. She’s based on Jane Austen’s Emma, and if you’ve read the book, you’ll know that Emma is extremely charismatic, and also very clever, but she does have flaws, like her naievety, superficiality, and ego. Cher is clever, she’s just intellectually lazy. Being able to debate is a great sign of intelligence, and her love of fashion manifests as an outlet for creativity. You can still be silly and materialistic whilst still being intelligent.
@@mjj7781 I think her debate class speech did give Elle Woods vibes even though her teacher didn't agree. Especially considering the suicidal guy and the chewing gum girl.
Regardless, that girl was smart, call it people smart if you will.
I’m so happy to finally embrace my femininity. My room is mostly pink and I love to wear cute outfits but im capable of so much
Lol most of the stuff I own is pink, purple, red and black dresses
Have the best life darling ❤
also how blondes are portrayed as “dumb”
I am a natural blonde and wherever or whenever I go somewhere there is always that one person who assumes that I am incapable and helpless because of my genetic heritage... like what the hell 😀 I was in class one time and this person sitting in front of me was talking about “dumb blondes” bluntly 😑 they then turned around to me and had the audacity to say “no, not you. you wear glasses ✌️😀”
And then there’s the assumption that anybody who wears glasses is a nerd and super smart but when they take the glasses off all of a sudden their hot, like no they were hot before you’re just stupid
@@slushmonsterz girls shouldn’t have to change themselves in order to not be embarrassed. I’ve always been a tomboy with awesome parents so I never thought I had to change myself, but I have seen my friends and others people do so, even though I don’t like it makeup, and dresses and stuff like that are awesome and no body should be embarrassed about liking them
@@slushmonsterz np :)
I think a lot of people believe blondes have it easier because of all the deep rooted hitler perfection standards. But I have noticed my blonde friends get mistreated a lot, far more then my brunette friends. All because their hair color it seems people believe they can degrade them and get away with it.
Dream y’all can’t be fr right now? Oppressed?? Because you’re blonde!!??
from the title of the video I know this will be good
My patrons helped me pick it out, so they’re the true stars of the show 😩❤️
This video is sooo important! Growing up I also felt like I had to be “not like other girls” so that I would feel people respected me. They made fun of me for using so much over the top jewelry and I ended up repressing this girly and fun/experimental side thinking i was stupid, or pretentious... But thanks to content like this I encourage more and more my girly side and embrace my younger playful self. I absolutely love your videos!! You’re amazing, thank you ❤️
I’ve been there. Unfortunately the NLOG’s who made fun of me used to be my friends before things went sour 😢 so it hurt a lot more than dealing with some random jerks
we are expected to not care about our appearance while at the same time look pretty and perfect
I know. It's so stupid.
Some people go on about "caricature of a woman" for women who like dresses and skirts, when practically any look can become a stereotype caricature after X amount of time, if enough adopt it as the beauty standard look.
Even the IDGAF crowd who live and die in grungy/street casual/ sports wear women often go to extreme lengths to make it look 100% perfect fem.
I always think of Buffy as a badass heroine who is still girly
I love that she's played by the same actress who played the live action Daphne for Scooby Doo. Not to mention Daphne in the earlier 2000s Scooby Doo movies was given more character as a successful and intelligent reporter.
Joss Whedon writes good female characters. Loved Willow too.
She was DEFINITELY a great example (for all my many problems with Joss Whedon). As was Cordelia. The Queen B who was, shock, also a person, and kicked even more ass on Angel.