Yup, it was exactly what happened to me. One moment it was all sweetness, affection and attention, and the next it was all cheating, devaluation, discard and cruelty, actions justified as easily as, "We have already broken up." Not that it mattered to the other person due to unsettled dues owed, whether material, monetary or just plain human kindness. You are absolutely nothing to the narcissist once you're out of the picture.
I appreciate your content. It's your articulate video content that makes it easy to digest the info on cathexis cycle. Which seems like a complicated topic but you make it seem intuitive to me to understand. And I say hi to minnie mug hope to see more of her on your next video
Thank you once again for explaining vividly one of the most disturbing experiences in human relationships, doesn‘t minimize the pain, but helps with coping
There is so much to learn from you. My narc is keeping me busy. Oh, the drama... However, thanks to your teachings I am able to distance myself from it while simultaneously making her aware of her narcissism. Many so-called experts online, but your advice appears to be the most accurate. You are working on her through me. 🙏🏻
I was love bombed by a new friend. I have not been discarded. Despite knowing all this, I can't get her out of my head. I keep thinking what have a done wrong. I actually feel so much anger for the toxic behaviour. But I also miss her. I think I was vulnerable as I was grieving the loss of my mum and looking for affection. She delivered it and has now gone completely cold. I just can't wait to stop thinking about her and missing her. Btw this is not sexual, I just found her so mesmerising!
I think no one could elucidate the social dynamics here in Brazil (more especifically in its Southeastern and Northeastern regions) so deftly as Prof. Sam Vaknin happens to do while explaining narcissistic disorder and the narcissistic style of interaction.
Mr. Vaknin! Is it possible for NPD person to lovebomb two different potential partners at a time? As far as I can see, it is not the case. Seems that narcissist usually monogamous at a time for the reason that Mother in a life of a child is single one. And connected question - what can be done - if anything can be done at all - in the case when NPD at the stage of idealisation of someone, but for some reason you want to substitute his intimate partner.
Aside from the “3 S’s” do narcissists also target intimate partners with toxic traits similar to the “dead mother” to engage in a sort of confirmation bias exercise?
Does mourning a family member so much it hurts physically. With Strong suicide ideation after grief possible , for someone who is a narcissist or does it mean they just narcissistic features ? Please answer 🙏
I wish I were a narcissist so I can just exist brutally and least bothered about others . Being with a narcissist can drain your soul and question so much about yourself. Only when you date one ,you realise how disturbing it is to ur soul
@@samvaknin oke thanks alot for answering prof. I was dating a narc of 25 years old, wen i called her out for being a narc, a few days later wen we talked i noticed she googled: . narcissists she is still young and hasnt figured it out yet i guess,but she knows theirs something wrong with her, she said she is on a waiting list to see a psychiatrist. could be all lies of course, you never know with these narcs. Its said
Thank you i always assumed it had to do w lack of object constancy. The anticathexis by to what degree can they stop tge introject of you. Degrees of blocking introject.
Do you think narcissists are on a spectrum of levels of narcissim? My ex told me hes a covert narcissist and when I listen to your videos, most things apply to him. Although, he seems to have decent cognitive empathy & decent level of self-awareness, so his actions are less extreme. For example, he does do this cycle but if i would point out his behaviors he will end the cycle w/ narcissistic injury & then self modify but usually ends up at the beginning of the cycle again. But he never disposed of me. I was the one who had to end the relationship & he understood why and sees himself as unlovable. Its really hard to understand as an outsider what is real and what is manipulation but some stuff he says and how he self reflects does seem authentic although many of his emotions are about self victimizing but occasionally he seems to actually have empathy for me if he thinks about the situation enough. He talks about feeling like he has multiple personalities in a way. Its so confusing to understand
One more example is when I talked with him about the devaluation stage - he agreed that he does that but told me that part of him knows that it's not real & doesn't actually mean anything to him but he can't help but to do that and he doesn't know why he can't stop it even though he knows it's distorted. I cannot tell if this is manipulation or what but it's what makes me wonder if he is at a lower level of narcissism to where these phenomenon are not all encompassing in his brain ??
What does it look like if a somatic narcissist has multiple shared fantasies with different women at the same time? He goes through all the 7 stages with each of them?
@@sofiaavetisian5673 I just read your comment and want to let you know that I've witnessed this in regard to an extremely good-looking, as well as charming, married man I knew in a workplace where a lot of people were involved, especially at weekends. He didn't go as far as to sleep with them (he might've done but that's none of my business), yet many women of all ages had a huge "crush" on him and that cycle still played out! I'm a lot older than him and must've showed his true colours where I was concerned because he'd get annoyed, or even angry, whereas the others thought that he was the loveliest man to walk the earth. Lol. I understand why they believed that though and I perceived that he was affected by past trauma issues, hence why it was best for him and his family that he decided to leave that particular workplace. 😊
Is it possible for someone to be fragmented enough to show signs of BPD, DID, Covert Narcissism, and secondary psychopathy? Can a person spiral downward through them all and cycle back up? Like an object getting pulled down into a black hole and being spun back out? Do you understand?
@@samvakninApologies I meant derealisation, you mention narcissist has this permanently where we the borderline slips in and out. What about someone with both?
Yup, it was exactly what happened to me. One moment it was all sweetness, affection and attention, and the next it was all cheating, devaluation, discard and cruelty, actions justified as easily as, "We have already broken up." Not that it mattered to the other person due to unsettled dues owed, whether material, monetary or just plain human kindness. You are absolutely nothing to the narcissist once you're out of the picture.
Thank you Dr. Vaknin, would appreciate a video on anti-cathexis.
Tomorrow.
This is so spot on and makes clear why he chose the supply he had now.
Looking forward to the anti-cathexis video, my narcissistic ex replaced me for a girl that looks almost exactly like me, it was a weird experience
Hello Minnie hang in there
Hi Minnie🐹😁... be aware of bad Mickey's
Thanks for all your great and interesting work you spread all over the world 🙏
I appreciate your content. It's your articulate video content that makes it easy to digest the info on cathexis cycle. Which seems like a complicated topic but you make it seem intuitive to me to understand. And I say hi to minnie mug hope to see more of her on your next video
Thank you once again for explaining vividly one of the most disturbing experiences in human relationships, doesn‘t minimize the pain, but helps with coping
There is so much to learn from you. My narc is keeping me busy. Oh, the drama... However, thanks to your teachings I am able to distance myself from it while simultaneously making her aware of her narcissism. Many so-called experts online, but your advice appears to be the most accurate. You are working on her through me. 🙏🏻
Very minniengful video.
I was love bombed by a new friend. I have not been discarded. Despite knowing all this, I can't get her out of my head. I keep thinking what have a done wrong. I actually feel so much anger for the toxic behaviour. But I also miss her. I think I was vulnerable as I was grieving the loss of my mum and looking for affection. She delivered it and has now gone completely cold. I just can't wait to stop thinking about her and missing her. Btw this is not sexual, I just found her so mesmerising!
When you think of them just recognize it as, old wiring.
I loved the introduction 😍🥰 you always make me smile Dr. Sam. I admire you. ❤🇧🇷
you are never boring 🙏 Thank You
Minnie's mugshot on the mug
Welcome back, Minnie.
Wow. It was just what I felt, but now you confirmed it. He looks like such a buffoon and everyone is laughing at him. Thanks for that explanation❤
I think no one could elucidate the social dynamics here in Brazil (more especifically in its Southeastern and Northeastern regions) so deftly as Prof. Sam Vaknin happens to do while explaining narcissistic disorder and the narcissistic style of interaction.
Thank you sir , for your wonderful explanation ...
AVIODANT ATTACHMENT CYCLE seems very similar to the NARCISSISTIC CYCLE … What do you think 💭🤔 about the comparison Prof. Sam Vaknin?
I think you should search the channel.
Thank you, Sam)❤️
Mr. Vaknin! Is it possible for NPD person to lovebomb two different potential partners at a time? As far as I can see, it is not the case. Seems that narcissist usually monogamous at a time for the reason that Mother in a life of a child is single one. And connected question - what can be done - if anything can be done at all - in the case when NPD at the stage of idealisation of someone, but for some reason you want to substitute his intimate partner.
The shared fantasy is one at a time with the cerebral but could be multiple with the somatic.
Thank you.
Sam thank you
Shakespeare......."he played so Minnie parts"
Hi Minnie ❤ 😂
Aside from the “3 S’s” do narcissists also target intimate partners with toxic traits similar to the “dead mother” to engage in a sort of confirmation bias exercise?
No. Watch the shared fantasy playlist.
Will do…Thank you Professor.
Does mourning a family member so much it hurts physically. With Strong suicide ideation after grief possible , for someone who is a narcissist or does it mean they just narcissistic features ? Please answer 🙏
Not a narcissist.
Thank you ❤so much sir 🙏
@@samvakninyou have no idea how freeing that is to me. Your advice 💯 helpful sir!
I wish I were a narcissist so I can just exist brutally and least bothered about others . Being with a narcissist can drain your soul and question so much about yourself. Only when you date one ,you realise how disturbing it is to ur soul
does a narc know he or she is a narcissist?
vaknin knows! search his channel for it.
Most of them do.
@@samvaknin oke thanks alot for answering prof. I was dating a narc of 25 years old, wen i called her out for being a narc, a few days later wen we talked i noticed she googled: . narcissists
she is still young and hasnt figured it out yet i guess,but she knows theirs something wrong with her, she said she is on a waiting list to see a psychiatrist.
could be all lies of course, you never know with these narcs. Its said
Thank you i always assumed it had to do w lack of object constancy. The anticathexis by to what degree can they stop tge introject of you. Degrees of blocking introject.
Do you think narcissists are on a spectrum of levels of narcissim? My ex told me hes a covert narcissist and when I listen to your videos, most things apply to him. Although, he seems to have decent cognitive empathy & decent level of self-awareness, so his actions are less extreme. For example, he does do this cycle but if i would point out his behaviors he will end the cycle w/ narcissistic injury & then self modify but usually ends up at the beginning of the cycle again. But he never disposed of me. I was the one who had to end the relationship & he understood why and sees himself as unlovable. Its really hard to understand as an outsider what is real and what is manipulation but some stuff he says and how he self reflects does seem authentic although many of his emotions are about self victimizing but occasionally he seems to actually have empathy for me if he thinks about the situation enough. He talks about feeling like he has multiple personalities in a way. Its so confusing to understand
One more example is when I talked with him about the devaluation stage - he agreed that he does that but told me that part of him knows that it's not real & doesn't actually mean anything to him but he can't help but to do that and he doesn't know why he can't stop it even though he knows it's distorted. I cannot tell if this is manipulation or what but it's what makes me wonder if he is at a lower level of narcissism to where these phenomenon are not all encompassing in his brain ??
You have a point
Watch the shared fantasy and the Mind playlists.
What does it look like if a somatic narcissist has multiple shared fantasies with different women at the same time? He goes through all the 7 stages with each of them?
Yes.
@@samvaknin wow… could you make a video on this? Soooo interesting
@@sofiaavetisian5673 I just read your comment and want to let you know that I've witnessed this in regard to an extremely good-looking, as well as charming, married man I knew in a workplace where a lot of people were involved, especially at weekends.
He didn't go as far as to sleep with them (he might've done but that's none of my business), yet many women of all ages had a huge "crush" on him and that cycle still played out!
I'm a lot older than him and must've showed his true colours where I was concerned because he'd get annoyed, or even angry, whereas the others thought that he was the loveliest man to walk the earth. Lol.
I understand why they believed that though and I perceived that he was affected by past trauma issues, hence why it was best for him and his family that he decided to leave that particular workplace. 😊
Is it possible for someone to be fragmented enough to show signs of BPD, DID, Covert Narcissism, and secondary psychopathy? Can a person spiral downward through them all and cycle back up? Like an object getting pulled down into a black hole and being spun back out? Do you understand?
Search the comorbidities playlist.
Then why the HOOVERING? Would it be RE cathexis?
Search the shared fantasy playlist and the channel.
So if someone is a narcissist and has BPD are they always in fantasy or is it episodic?
In every interpersonal relationship.
@@samvakninApologies I meant derealisation, you mention narcissist has this permanently where we the borderline slips in and out. What about someone with both?
Can a somatic narcissist stop cheating on his intimate partner if he depends on her financially?
No.
What about when they with u but don’t split up with u but goes to other woman
HAVE TOOO. HEAR. THIS. 1. AGAIN. CHOCK. FULL❗️❗️❗️