HOW NOT TO MAKE CHEESE - Cooking with Boris
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- Опубліковано 12 бер 2020
- HOW NOT TO MAKE CHEESE
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Boris attempts to take a shortcut at making cheese. Normally cheese takes 4-16 weeks to mature, even for a semi-hard cheese like the Russian cheese, mentioned in this video. But here is another way Boris found in someone's babushka's sister's scrapbook journal cookbook from a shady Russian webforum. Attempts were made. It's something.
Enjoy.
Music in background:
uamee - MILKING IT [HARDBASS]
• uamee - MILKING IT [HA...
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Intro music:
Gopnik McBlyat - Snakes in Tracksuits
Outro music:
Cheeki Breeki Hardbass Anthem - Навчання та стиль
In Britain, we name cheeses after their location(Cheddar, Stilton), so the British name for this cheese is "Shady Russian forum"
Borislavonian Cheese
@@tronk44 not a city, but a gorge
@@tommybason6057 gorge?
@@durratulaishah3703 there's also a nearby village called cheddar where the cheese came from, but cheddar gorge is particularly well known
@@tommybason6057
oh good to know,then
:)
"My expectations are low, but they can always go lower."
- Boris, Slav King, 2020
His expectations: Can go lower
Also his expectations:
* Already at my will to live *
-my parents (my lifetime)
dont worry girls also say that about every guy
But he can squat as low as his expectations can go
tsar*
I love how he blames Vadim for literally everything.
I read this when he said your parents could have named you Vadim
Hahahah
Dinkleberg
@@benjamin5788 same energy
DAMN YOU V L A D I M
The Russian old woman cursive looks like a child took a pen and guessed what cursive writing was.
Looks what I did for cursive as a child because I wanted to do fancy writing like adults
@@pinataperson9869 Same as me
Russian cursive is actually the same
it's the legendary doctor's scribble. legendary for it's indecipherableness.
It literally looks like a ton of squiggly lines on paper
2:40 "Boris, you do know what happens when you don't stir boiling milk, right?"
2:42 "Boris"
2:44 "Boris!"
2:49 "BORIS!"
Mitch Wernlein i was thinking the same shit... lol
What happens?
@@AsmageddonPrince and burns at the bottom. Cheese probably ended up tasting like burned milk
(IIISSSSSSS) *BoOoOoOoRrRrIiIiSsSsSs!!!*
Literally me in chemistry class a decade ago,
asking my chemistry teacher if she knew what happens when you pour alcohol in a LIT Bunsen Burner to refuel it without first turning it off,
and then watching her sleeve catch fire, and the bottle, lucky not explode, since she got scared when she saw the flame go up.
Cause and effect guys, simple stuff xD
America: *preparing for the corona virus*
Boris: Making cheese
The whole world: preparing for corona virus
....
..........
.........
.......
The Philippines: I kNoW hOw tO mAkE a GiRL gO cRaZy(tik tok) having a tiktok concert
I know my reply is not related at all no need to tell me :) skl..
Hakdowgggg
@@jameschristian1664 Ha?
@@vAlexo23 HALAMan
I saw a Gordon Ramsey ad before this and I was like:
"Get out of here amateur. I'm trying to watch a true professional."
Youre goddamn right comrade
@@axelthemanwithanaxe4212 Comrade Boris teaches you how to survive end of month and Western spy teaches you how to get a budget like end of month at the start of the month.
@@mashmash4597 i agree with you aswell comrade
Gordon Ramsay might be better, but no one can beat a slav chef :D
Me too
He is the Russian HowToBasic except when nothing goes wrong.
Slavs can't afford things going wrong, blin.
Less egg
"Dis is cheez"
"It is zellow"
"It has holz"
"Oy blyat"
*racist*
@@_.overhaul.codm._ what does it mean tho
*blyat*
Цика Блаят
Arcitek GD it has “Oy blayt” 😂😂😂
Eats cheese
Boris: Too expensive
Makes cheese himself
Boris: This is real russian cheese.
Hello comrade
Because economy reason lol
Manai byaslag/tsagaan idee hamgiin amtatai.
@@fikrifadillah3247 lol
@@mich4408 lol
That 2:55 'ay blyaa-' is perhaps the most wholesome thing I’ve heard on this channel
Edit: of course, with the exception of every Anatoli appearance.
agreed. but its right there with anatoli’s giggle about the stove
Despite it literally meaning ah fuuuuuuuck
@@pinataperson9869 yep! i dont know how he does it
АЙ БЛЯЯЯТЬ
Indeed.
"What is the best before on this thing?"
"Fifteenth.... THREE MONTHS AGO??"
"Eh, not bad."
Onigiree if there's no mold and it doesn't taste like old feet, it's still good to eat
Onigiree I had some gravy from 2 years ago, nothing happened to me
Old army rule: Always go for the cheese and never for the deli meats. Deli meats spoil, cheese ripens.
tru slav
My empovershed ass when discovering a can of something and eating it anyway.
I laughed profusely when he opened the fridge gasped and just thought it was vadim
Who is Vadim?
KevinShinwoo Boris neighbour which he does not really like and Vadim steals smoked sausage
SameeeXD
Hello jojos bizzare advanture part:6 stone ocean jotaro
@@KevinShinwoo lol boris's annoying neighbor
"Why have one cheese when you can have six cheeses"
-Boris 2020
GENIUs
and then makes 4 cheeses...
@@firuu645 lol
"Why have multiple Cheeze ITS, when you could have one Cheeze THEM?"
Sam O'Nella
Stonks
Nobody has pointed out he always has ingredients but his fridge and freezer are completely empty all the time
No need to fill the fridge when you live alone.
@@ObsidianGloria fair
I fear no man, but that thing
/[Cyrillic cursive]/
That scares me.
Top meme 2020
Suka
It's scares us too. These is how our medics writing. No one can understand it except another medics...
Indeed
Blin I'm Russian and that shit scared me
oh wow, that bite mark on cheese. Prepare to have face reveal, Boris. I'm sure someone is currently matching it with dental record database
Why did this make me laugh lmao
When people online could VERY accurately find someone's position based ob shadows, or find my pictures from when im 5 with 30 seconds of my voice
I believe that is easy
IF boris live in a country that have database on dental record
@Отоја Јамагучи ohoho my friend, he's not
@Отоја Јамагучи you call their mom
@@milekiticevsin3290 THAT SET ME OFF 💀
2:47 Actual Footage of the meltdown of Reactor No. 4 on Chernobyl (Circa April 26, 1986 Colorized)
Worker: hey can you operate this section for me? I gotta go to the bathroom
Boris: ok then
5 minutes later...
5:44 most underrated scene throughout the entire comment section
it absolutely made me fucking lose it lmao
i was literally looking for this Comment
I laughed my ass off
"This was a mistake"
Never change, boris. From America with love
The food spills, the shady recipe, the honest cursing
This has to be the most chaotic cooking video you made so far
Good job
video title: how *not* to make cheese
me: so its a recipe
for disaster
@@swazmarthy5929 and laughter.
No, title is, _HOW NOT TO MAKE CHEESE_ -- Boris is shouting at us now.
2:21 “What is A for?” Is my favorite part
No seriously what is A for?
@@sandeepwangde269 nobody knows...
@@sandeepwangde269 A stands for Artyom
It stands for "Ask Anatoli"
Same
Boris: "I use cheese to make cheese"
Palpatine: INFINITE CHEESE
İts
(UNLİMİTED CHEESE!)
me: "mom we need to buy cheese"
my mom: "we got cheese at home"
cheese at home:
6:27
You have to feel honoured to have comrade Boris make you russian cheese everyday yes?
You make fun of real soviet cheese?
Dead meme ma dude
@@fabiosantana3226 dead capitalist meme? No dignity
"and stronk like soviet economy"
not gonna lie was expecting the cheese to drop
Technically soviet economy is not the same as soviet federation. Soviet economy drop after soviet droped. So yeah
Vladimir Lenin vlad did my joke WAY better than me! GG
So melted cheese like raclette?
@@furbait3442 no. The Soviet economy is strong. Federation or no federation. The motherland stays strong
Hol up
I come from a family of Swiss Wisconsin immigrants, that have been cheese makers for many generations. You have no idea how much this video hurt my soul
"When you have low expectations, you can always go lower"
-Boris (circa 1943)
Boris: "Strong like soviet economy!"
Me: Something ain't right....
well Soviet economy was the second strong in the world, after usa
@@RussianKondr not the actual economy.
Russia aint in top 8. Order is
America, china,japan,germany,india, united kingdom,france and italy.
dont you mean S T R O N K
I don’t know what date it may have been second, currently it isn’t ranked in the top 10. I believe it was ranked at 12th on an analytic I read.
Boris:
"it tastes like..."
*Cuts a piece
"Like processed cow juice"
c O w J U I C e
*western spy: milk*
*boris: cOw jUiCe*
@Tachanka The Communist and you stole my lada. I doubt that you are vadim's brother blyat
Cheese is just a loaf of milk
Isn't that exactly what it is though?
2:22 *”A.* What is A for?”
HAHAHA oh my god i could not stop laughing at this for some reason, he was just like
*A.*
this gives the same exact vibes of the letter h
I’m going insane
*_H_*
h
*h*
h
*E*
Boris: Ah yes, boiling, the highest form of cooking
YSAC: *you've yee'd your last haw*
everyone: COVID19 outbreak.... sanitize everything
Boris: drops cheese to the floor then eats it.
this is hardcore Gopnik
Can russians even get sick?
@@riargaet3782 he actually got sick at some point and didn't post for a month i think
Basically me when I drop food
@@randomizing549 I remember that time, very sad..
I always eat food after I drop it on the sidewalk.
5:45
No joke, I laugh my ass off when he though his cheese is gone and blame Vadim for it.
But, no. It in "freeze"
"Why have 1 cheese when you can have 6 cheeses?"
*so quantity?thats so soviet*
*moves "cheese" from fridge into freezer*
*checks fridge*
*GASP* "VADIM- oh wait."
How to make cheese:
Ingredients: Cheese
It's like making pizza dough, or yoghurt, or kombucha, or most anything fermented, really…
Except for a few recipes like kimchi, which uses other sources for its bacteria that are not kimchi. Though if your kimchi tastes ten times as good somehow, you might want to hold on to that supply, see above.
@@nodezsh Anything lacto fermented ferments from bacteria naturally present. Its so easy to lacto ferment that it becomes a problem when you DON'T want the lacto, like when brewing alcohol. Source: make my own kimchi
I used the cheese, to make the cheese.
@@nodezsh Lactobacillus will form naturally in a lot of stuff. Kombucha or Kefir is just easier to use a scoby or kefir grains. Cheese is just usually made with some form of rennet.
it was stonks alright.
"Today we are going to make cheese. The ingredients you need are milk, and cheese."
Boris:
1. Get cheese
2. Make bigger cheese with cheese
3. Repeat
4. Unlimited cheese blyad
Teacher: the best cursive handwriting is british
Me an intellectual: Russian old woman cursive
This is my first time seeing his videos, I'm 22 seconds in, I can tell this Guy is amazing.
He's been making videos in English for years, you'd expect his accent to be clear....it only has gotten much thicker.
Was probably some confidence thing, know alot of people who after years of speaking English just stop trying to hide their accent, and somehow that makes them easier to understand.
that's the point
@Alice Specter he did just check out his very first video he speak normal accent
He has said in a video he can speak English fine but it feels better to thicken his accent (and tbh it adds to the humour so it's a good strategy)
im american and i dont know shit about russia like every other american but i can tell this guy is obviously putting on an act. he probably doesnt live in russia or europe at all
The "its something" meme its so old its endearing. U go Boris.
Carolina Palacios that is history right there
Boris: “ Could be worst, could be that your parents named you vadim”
Also, Boris: “ this has got to be the most gorpink s**t I’ve ever done in my years of cooking”
Me: dies of laughter “ Boris you are my king... let me worship you”
(Edit) I don’t know what line to quote cuz they are all amazing
- Boris, king of the world 2020
6:47
"What is the best before on this thing?"
"Fifteenth...... 3 months ago????"
Well, this video was released 3 months ago!!!
And that comment was written 3 months ago
@@abcdefg3898 And your comment was written 3 moths ago
Boris making a mess for 7 minutes and 33 seconds 😂
Also, aren’t we going to talk about the fact that there is nothing in the fridge or freezer except air?
Its Russia
I always just assume he not cooking at home for some reason?
It’s end of month
Sometimes end of month is all month
Ioana Maria are you really surprised that a Russian has no food? Now wait till you see a Ukrainian fridge especially around 1932
World: is dying
Boris: *cHeEsE*
you can’t blame him, cheese _does_ help you forget your impending doom.
To be hones, It is absolutely what we need today
Cheese can save the world comrade
Putin will save the world
Truer words have never been spoken, Maximilian Franz.
At 2:55 "ay blyaaaa" I couldn't breath I was laughing so hard. That was the funniest thing I have ever heard on this channel.
Babushka can we have howtobasic?
Babushka:but we already have a howtobasic at home.
Howtobasic at home: 5:38
Boris: "This is the most Gopnik shit I have ever done..."
I almost screamed from laughter. Even though your cheese didn't work out, I still enjoy the video. I have never heard of adding baking soda to cheese.
Ah! You add acid to curdle the milk.
Bring milk to boil, simmer it down then add a little lemon juice or vinegar. Make sure to make in big pot. It will give you a basic ricotta type cheese that you can strain then press into shape.
I am laughing at that exact phrase now and head to the comments I'm glad i was not the only one XD
@@ishandk5035 I love how Boris keeps it real and funny in his videos. Even when I'm doing stuff that I'm not familiar with especially crafts & cooking, I'm like: "What the hell am I doing here?"
@@irishime This is why boris is a true slav always calm in such situations.
Milk protein is soluble in base but not in acid. The cottage cheese has enough acid to make the protein in milk fall out of the water, then you take out most of the water and use baking soda to re-dissolve it. If you use sodium citrate instead of baking soda, and ideally use a source of milk protein that isn't half cottage cheese, it actually can taste pretty okay.
@@diablominero Is that how they get the cheese smoothly textured like the packaged cheese?
1:47 Boris 100 respect for giving a glorious 2018 meme another chance at life. Will never stop loving that meme.
For some unknown reason this was in my recommendations.. *I never have been more proud of UA-cam.*
“I only understand like every fifth word” now you know how I feel, right now.
This is me trying to read us cursive lol
Nobody:
Boris' stove: A
damn technology cyka blyat
A
@@DentalFloss in chernobyl
Reactors were OUR kitchen
*¹ ⁴*
*1 4*
I: The Hungarian universities were closed so I can't do anything. What should I do?
Boris:
@Sightless_Seeker I have a Hungarian 75M gas mask. I bought it around 5 Euro just for my slav costume, but it works fine after 40 years too!
@@angyalkence Mindenhol IS!
Nem te csináltál egy rakat mémet a Népköztársasági Pártirodába?
:D
@@TheInrab De igen, a UA-cam-csatornám mellett mémeket is gyártok, főleg a Pártirodába, pl. a csehszlovák Valentin-nap és a berlini Mi kis falunk is az én "művem!" Amúgy gratulálok, te vagy az első, aki felfedezte az összefüggést! :D
@@rasztaputyinnetpartizan7955 Én gratulálok a sztahanovista túlteljesítéshez a mém gyártás táján, én csak ÁVH-s nyomozói vénámat használva jutottam erre a következtetésre.
Boris: BOOM!
*Reactor 4 goes critical*
When they hear the a soviet Anthem earrape
Other People: (Takes out the headphones)
Me: WTF NEW ALARM SOUND
When cheese is too expensive
Boris: *Fine, I'll do it myself*
relatable
Then Realize, It was a mistake Blyat
That one strange guy
You like steven universe and boris
I thing that im the only one lol
Wait cheese is expensive?
Boris doesn't realise that the A on his stove means something else...
RUSH A
Wait, that's illegal!!!
RUSH B CYKA BLYAT
Stanislaus Kosinski HERESY!
don't rush A, rush B blyat!
РУШ Б СУКА БЛЯТ
I'm not the best when it comes to russian typing
"Why have one jeez when you can have six Jesus?" -Boris 2020
0:21 **NU BLYAAA--**
"HEY LETS MAKE SOME CHEESE!" - boris's brain
"cheese" - boris and my brain
Boris: this cheese is as strong as soviet economy
Cheese: inatantly discentegrates into pieces
No worry is thicc as masha
@@Silancet cheese after hearing such high praises and *comparison*
*Cheese* : Do you want me to cut myself into pieces cyka?.... Don't make me cry so much blyat.
Shut fuck
Big victory for hong kong, huge loss for NK
British and japanese joint colony just like the soviet economy
Boris: "Strong like soviet economy!"
Me: That aged like milk
5:07 Captain Boris in denial of cheese falling out of container
No cheeki breeki outro???
*sad blyat noises intensify*
someone took it
@@wolfsyncc ah dammit vadim
ImNotBadWolf wait like copyright or....
7:30 here
.
*throws away big single mold*
*pulls smol mold with 6 inserts*
"Why have 1 cheese when you can have 6 cheese"
Thats an IQ 300 move there
**proceeds to pour only 4**
3:25
Am I supposed to mix this around at all? Probably not
*Procceds* *to* *mix*
2:16 IKR WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS TECHNOLOGY
You know, most UA-camrs would like overreact to the taste of failed cheese.
Boris simply cannons it out of his mouth. Good man.
1:22 “bUt ThAtS nO pRoBlEm FoR bOrIs!!”
I don’t know why, but that was adorable as hell.
Yes!
*Boris:You need cottage cheese to make Russian cheese*
Me desperate cuz there’s no cheese in the market because of corona: *CONFUSED SCREAMING*
One of my favorite uamee songs in the background
Man I was having a really bad day today
stumbled across this channel and i havent laughed so much in my life.
thank u. dropped a sub
welcome home
Life of Boris
Boris is good Slav
@@LifeofBoris I have a guess, if we're still doing that. Boris, are you Romani?
Anytime comrade
Welcome onboard the cheeki breeki train tovarish.
Ingredients for Russian cheese:
*Vodka*
*Cow juice*
*Slapping*
Mother Russian cheese never includes Milk it includes Cow Juice
That sounds like slavic Davie504
Radian you forgot to add some communism))
Radian 😏😏😏😏😏
But communists dont eat
Борис, я тебя обожаю! Это мой самый любимый кулинарный канал )
The video format is so clean can watch for hours
"and strong like soviet economy"
while all the army cheese is strong, the rest of the cheese is weak.
if the cheese boris stabbed was strong, it was an army cheese.
army cheese is swiss, soo...
wouldnt that make it so the USSR was under swiss control all along?
ooh, what a *spicy* conspiracy theory.
All hail motherland cheese
C H E E S E
Hmmm... smells Cheeslovakia in Swiss Cheese
It's a swiss-army cheese
"I mean, it could be worse....
you're parents could've named you Vadim."
hi, I am Vadim.
@@user-bs1br8zn6c hopefully you're not Vadim Blyat, at this point blyat should be his last name
It's basically a farmer's cheese.
That's interesting using the cottage cheese.
What I do is add 4 parts milk, 1 part buttermilk, heat to simmering then add 1 tbsp vinegar. let it sit for 15 min, remove curd from whey and let drain.
"Its strong like Soviet economy"
I WILL use that some time, thank you Boris.
"No need hole in cheese, is *t h i c c* like masha."
Well, I think that's why you don't want *holes* in your cheese...
The best cheese don't have hole's
D
D
*D*
D
4:44 *REACTOR 4 GOES CRITICAL*
*B0OM*
That killed me!
this channel is pure gold
boris brings joy to my life
"shady russian webfoum"
Ah yes. The imageboards.
/di/ won't give you bad advice
"My expectations are low, but they can always go lower"
Boris 2020
You can also just heat up milk, scoop the curds out, and have ricotta, or get fancy cheese molds and press to put the curds in
Thanks for making my day 💕
1:22 (exists) Doctors: Finally a worthy opponent! Our battle will be legendary!!
True.
6:51 how it feels when boris uploaded last video.
But it's real
I can only imagine how much fun he has in the kitchen
Boris finally achieved his cheese making goal
*opens fridge*
*"cheese" is missing*
VADIM BLYA-oh wait
*opens freezer*
"Strong like soviet economy"
*Easily takes a bite*
Most chaos I’ve ever seen in Boris’s videos in a while
That "ay blyaa--" is the most adorable thing i hear this week🤣
Boris: “Switzerland”
Me, a neutral person: *Neutrality has just became slavic*
Yugos sind die nätischte mönsche uf dr Welt, sie frage di geng" hey hesch problem!?"🖕😂🖕
@@skylineproductions82 Du bist eine Sweine.
@@ribljikeksic 😂🙏🏻🔥
@Andrés Valverde serbien gehört zu Russland geschichtlich
ШwiцeЯland
Just realized Boris has been wearing anti Coronavirus protective gear for years.
*Boris making noise*
Vadim: *Boris Blyat*
Your videos put me in a great mood!