True intimacy goes far beyond sex. True intimacy means you have someone that you can be vulnerable with and tell all of your deepest most fears and desires and know that person will not betray you.
……or even bother to listen to you. Mine cuts off if I use anything longer than one sentence. It’s pretty grim really, so thank goodness for the companionship of my dogs.
But if you're not having sex, then you have to question the intimacy of your partner. As far as I'm concerned, once that goes due to artificial causes (disinterest, complacency) they're as good as roommates and that is easily sexual abuse. Besides, females have proven they are no longer worthy of trust since they've been allowed to no-fault divorce for 3 generations and are the majority of divorces. Marriage is _dead_ .
@@DTreatz while there is the expectancy of sex in marriage, it is not in the vows. The vows only require each to forsake all others. Sex is a desire, not a need. Air, water, food and shelter are needs. Loss any one of those items for particular length of time and in case of shelter weather conditions, can result in your death. It is not abuse. Divorce is acceptable for infidelity but not for withholding sex. Are you really trying to argue that you have possession of the other person's body?
Until I was in my mid-20s, i never thought i would get married and didn't really seek to. But I did meet someone wonderful, got married, and it was the best decision i ever made by far. Marriage propelled me forward and showed me a new dimension of life i never would have known. Then having a child did it yet again. These relationships bring meaning and help make life good.
53 year old widower. My wife passed when my daughter was 5 she is now going on 15. I needed all focus on her at the time and just like that 9 years went bye. Everyone has there reasons for being alone but it’s doable. Not sure about end game though
You are coping. You didn't have to get married to do any of that, but now you have involved the government contractually. Better hope you never get divorced, or you're in for a world of hurt. Better keep the Mrs. happy, slave mantra _happy wife happy life_ 🙄
Why do you believe you need a contract to prove you want a serious relationship? I'm asking everyone this question and I can't seem to get a proper answer
@@astro___prod because until you have made that deeper commitment you don't open as much and get as close. However, not everyone does that so marriage is not a guarantee of a closer more emotionally intimate relationship but ive rarely seen the same Level of connection in a couple who hadn't gone the extra step of commitment
@@birgitmitchell5648 I still don't understand why you see a contract from the government as a sign of commitment, most marriages end in divorce just like most love relationships fade away, marriage only makes everything harder, it only works for masochist men who enjoy giving away their money to parasite women, other than that, if you have a healthy relationship, you seek proves of commitment in other things, such as having babies
Marriage can be a lonely and abusive place to be so I recommend make sure your know the person and his family very well before taking that step of Faith.. it’s not just about sexual relationships it’s so much more
It is not marriage that is abusive or lonely. It is being with someone who is abusive and checked out... Which, by the way, happens in unmarried relationships too. Like you said, get to know the person real well and make wise choices.
Matthew Kelly had a talk called "The Seven Levels of Intimacy" that really explored this emotional intimacy that Dr. Peterson is talking about. Not just in romantic partnerships, but in all relationships.
Thanks I’ll have to look at Matthew Kelly’s talk. Widow of almost 7 years and don’t know a lot about much. Which I guess is a good thing thanks again for your comment. Must stay humble so to learn from others…..
I liked everything Dr. Peterson had to say in this video. Finding someone is not so easy though. Sometimes a person just gets frustrated and decides to give up on that, instead just tries to make a fulfilling life for themselves without a partner.
The bottom line, the older I get and the more experience I have with life, the more I see that happiness and life satisfaction has almost nothing to do with how a person seems to be living, or any circumstance. I mean, I know married people who are happy, single people who are miserable, I know single people who are happy, married people who are miserable, I know polyamorous couples who are some of the smartest and most efficient people in the world. I know some people who are perpetual playboys who are miserable, some who are almost manically happy and major social contributors to society. Again, no correlation between any of this at all in life satisfaction or meaning, none of that stuff. I mean, I know people who have huge families, who are genuinely just totally depressed. It's like, how can that be? Well life is complex LOL I mean, it's one thing to say this is the answer, or that is the answer... But I think the only true answer is that, like so much of human psychology, it's complex, and it depends a lot on the person, their environment, and really, their genetics... I feel like it's laughable to have these sorts of discussions without talking about genes like COMT and DRD4, etc, among hundreds more.. Literally MILLIONS of polymorphisms, all playing into personality and satisfaction. Not to mention this doesn't even get into the discussion of hormones, which are major mediators in all sorts of social behaviors. Hormones in brain chemistry are also affected by the environment, which is of confuse filled with all sorts of estrogenic and androgen blocking toxins, and is even affected by just regular minerals in the groundwater. I recently read a study in which countries that have higher ground levels of lithium in the water have way lower rates of violent crimes. The bottom line is, social structure isn't so simple. Guys like Jordan Peterson would of course like you to believe that there is really just a few ways to rise to the top, where you find success and happiness if only you just xyz, but it's simply not true. The secret to life is not to find love, or virtual single life, or sex, or even meaning for that matter (and I happen to really admire existential philosophy, btw)... I think the key of life is to find what works best for you, your individual personality, your brain chemistry, and ultimately, your life. Cheers
ABSOLUTELY! Well said, my Friend. JP is great for the most part, but I agree with you, there are just TOO MANY moving parts in this equation. Take care!
It's pretty simple mate: Society _needs_ absolute monogamy and marriage to function. J. D. Unwin found it causal this and predicted decline if any other option but patriarchal absolute monogamy was not what society ran on. Polygyny is the natural state of humans, but it can't work on a societal level, by the sheer math, which is on main reason no advanced polygynous societies exist. Whether or not people are "happy" is not the goal of absolute monogamy, the goal is that its the most efficient and most practical for individuals and for society to stabilize and advance. People can learn each other and make it work, it takes _work_ but it can happen, especially if people know their roles, but ultimately happiness is not the main goal, contentedness and stability is.
You only get to know your partner after you date and live with the person for a long time ..... While dating, people are in their best behaviors and all they do is meet to do something fun or entertaining. ... Dinner date, Beach days, movies, week ends, vacations trips, events ... When you live with the person, you get know them on good and bad days ... Then you know when the relation flows naturally, without much efforts even during hardship times and without all the various $ entertainment ....or it does not...
That means in marriage, we have got to prepare that there are times of conflicts, disagreements, and adversity. These are the challenges, and a successful marriage is how we would overcome them without ruining the marriage. Honesty, mutual trust, love, respect, and understanding are the elements to overcome the obstacles in a relationship.
Marriage is a very risky deal these days. Basically you get to jump out of an airplane taking a parachute knowing there are more chances not to open than to properly function. Thanks .... I am good ....
For womwn it was always risky and we had to shut up and take it but now we don't have to and we can leave abusive marriges and some men are angry aout this amd scared instead of actually improving themselves.
@@sarcodonblue2876 tipical victimhood card being played ..... and the numbers of LTRs and marriages clearly show that the juice is not worth the squeeze. Also passport bros is a clear sign. Plus the rigged system that is against males adds an innertia to the red pill.
Id say after having no relationship for a while, though was happy being alone and then having a long-term 10 year relationship thus far. I'd easily go back to being content alone again. Once you discover yourself, any person entering your life should make things easier not more complicated, to a certain degree.
The question remains...why get married? especially when marriage is deceptively marketed as a crucial stage for love, when it's actually a financial institution. U can have an intimate relationship without the need of an institution of marriage. So what remains a mystery is the logic behind it.
Marriage is necessary for raising children. If you want children you should have them with a partner in marriage. Children with married parents perform better academically and are healthier mentally and physically then children whose parents are not married.
@@globalnationalismyoutube marriage isn't the only form of stability and let's not forget the divorce rate. Therefore, marriage isn't some magical absolute solution. It's about the values the relationship is built on...
Why do you believe you need a contract to prove you want a serious relationship? I'm asking everyone this question and I can't seem to get a proper answer
True intimacy to me is sharing your life as best friends! Banter, trusting your life in your partner's hands, nuturing, respect has to be a given, great communication and caring for each other mentally and physically and it helps to have a good sense of humor. Sex, money, and looks are temporal. We're spirits in a human experience, agree?
@@eduardoarellano-gs4gn you have to be born here to be president my friend. But, Obama did a bang up job hiding that he was born in Kenya. So not impossible.
Why do you believe you need a contract to prove you want a serious relationship? I'm asking everyone this question and I can't seem to get a proper answer
I think that intimacy means compromising yourself and showing the true you to the other person in terms of how emotional you can get, what triggers these emotions and how you feel after the intimacy act is done. It does include but is not limited to sex, there are many ways to express love or need for example. What I know is that I barely explained intimacy as it is a very deep topic and the only way to understand it is to experience it yourself. And how to trust someone enough to perform the act of intimacy with? Marriage.
Do not ignore the legalities.. 60% divorce, 80% by women...don't ignore me#2 & false accusations... etc. The obstacles to lasting relationships are widespread and antagonistic.
True intimacy is getting to know someone. Exactly! I don't think anyone teaches that anymore. This idea of dating and then having sex right away to see if you like them is ridiculous.
Dating is getting to know someone. Mostly you'd be on your best behaviour... you'd share your favourite beauty spots... locations... holiday photos... go to restaurants... wine, dine... probably get in debt trying to impress the other. Then the rose tinted glasses fall off... and you start going back to bad habits... no longer fluffing up pillows... staying late at work 😉 WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE??? ISN'T THAT GREAT??? BEST CASE SCENARIO... THROW IN A COUPLE OF KIDS.... BECOME YOUR OWN MILLSTONE... WOW!!! GOOD QUESTION JORDAN!!! I TAKE IT BACK
Feminism killed traditional marriage for Western women. Now we're finding it somewhere else. Enjoy being strong and independent, ladies. Go Passport Bros!!!
How do you know who to marry and how do you cultivate a deep friendship and intimacy that leads to marriage ? Too many marry without even knowing each other in a deep sincere way ? Is it true that you don't just marry the person you " marry " their family and friends as well ? In other words , if their family has a toxic way about them , and your potential spouse hasn't done the work to leave the toxic behind , in their heads especially , do you face years of toxic familial relationships , affecting your children as well ?
I believe Seek Ye 1st the Kingdom is the only answer! At least for a great chance at getting with someone who’s living the same beliefs and understanding ✨
True intamacy in a marriage is felt in 2 ways in my opinion. The first is being able to be 100% your true self and not just be accepted for it but actually loved for it. That is first and foremost. The 2nd (and maybe this is just my italian roots) is preparing a meal for your spouse, with your spouse, and the meal is prepared by your spouse.... you should have all 3 frequently if you're married. Ive always said my wife and i have a great sex life, but the kitchen is where we have tge most intamacy. The warmth and feeling you get of preparing a meal and eating together is something you can't replace. The same goes for kids. Our daughter is most intimate (in that she is willing to share real aspects of her life with us) in the kitchen with us. The living room is for disengaged together time, bedrooms are for alone time, but the kitchen is for intimate togetherness. Do not underestimate the power of an occupied and used kitchen... unused and unoccupied kitchens are usually a bad sign for a relationship/family
Before I removed myself from dating apps one statement on my profile read "Seeking an intimate relationship, not sex." And those who misinterpret that immediately were removed.
Intimacy = Into - Me - See In other words, you see me, all of me, and I see you, all of you. All the potential best and all the potential worst, and we encourage the best to come forth in each other. It's not just the sex, but the sex does strengthen the bond once the foundation is established. You are each other's beneficial adversaries.
Na, I want the partnership. That's the whole thing. You dress up for her, she dresses up for you. You are emersed in a world you create with your partner. The sex comes with the good relationship. That isn't something you need to try for. Marriage is great if your going to have children. Kids really need a father and a mother. If your not planning on procreating with a partner, stop screwing around and go find someone you really want to do that with. Get married and have kids. I'm not, but I do want other people to do it. I still want the partner even if there are no children. I'm finding difficulty finding a mate in today's times. I don't want to live in separate places. Some older women I talk to will have sex with me, but getting them to give up their lives to start a new one, I've found this difficult. By 50 women like the life they have an want to add you as an ornament. I want them to want to move in with me and cook meals together and learn from each other chatting and sharing life together. I'm still trying to meet someone special for me. I'm on stable ground now. I can afford a life with someone now.
Intimate relations are not the same as marriage. at least state sanctioned marriage. that's a business contract where the man is destroyed the moment the woman feels like doing so.
I'm a single male and wheni was in my twenties I worked construction and every pay day i seen a line of women getting there ex husband's pay check I asked him if he had any money left he said he was eating beans because that's all he had left after his ex wife took it all you could see the sadness In his eye's it woke me up to woman's nature when I was in my twenties never forgot that lesson. Marry the right one or your screwed over .
People would like a partner, but without unfixable chaos. It's too late for most average males imo, they aren't able to provide for a spouse and the amount of high maintenance females is high, add too much phone addiction into fear of miss out into "the garden of the neighbour is greener" (in general-on average ofc) is making females of almost any age monkey branch from a dude to another. (Ofc not all of them are like that, but...average men can't attract much better, most of the times) It would be nice to see a discussion between you and Cal Newport, the author of "Digital minimalism" and "Deep work", hope you read this comment. I am looking forward for a discussion like that.
How did he make a jump from "why get married" to "well, people want a partner" instantaneously, as if there's a self-explanatory link between those two?
I think it’s a much, much different thing to find your partner at a young and and to grow with them and create a lifestyle pattern together rather than create your own lifestyle pattern as a young adult on your own and try to partner with someone later on..I think people get pretty stuck in their ways and that becomes pretty unreconcilable as time goes on.
You make some excellent points here Jordan about marriage but for me I don’t think I should ever get married because number one I don’t have enough money to pay for a wedding venue or ceremony. I don’t have enough money for a wedding reception, suit and tie and food and drinks. Since I’m only a young adult my best bet is to find a girlfriend.
Marriage is a bad business contract with the government involving your love life. You can have a lifelong intimate relationship without the government telling your relationship how to be.
@@sarcodonblue2876 The thing is that one does initially feel attraction, wich may take on several forms. However, this not real love. It may be a sort of craving, or longing, or even a small form of Obsession, but it isn't love. Love does only form after a long time with the build up of trust, vulnerability and faithfullness. Only then do you have a love with devoution and respect between each other.
I hear friends or other moaning about be single and the other people who are in a relationship are moaning about their relationship. I like focus on me. It a mind set. The only person who you can moan to if you forgot milk is you. It's make me relie on me better. I education I happy with being single person. I have friends and family to love and cook for. People try and make me feel unhealthy not to want a relationship. It only because it more common to need a relationship. I hope enough. Thankfully I have can entertain myself. I don't need a relationship or want it. Not because I can't or I am scared or I be hurt before. I have an relationship with me. I got to understand me and that's snobbery enough
I struggle in relationships. I'm to emotional and sensitive. Thank you Mom.🤦♂️ Yes it's me, but not always. I am pretty smart and competent. I just drive her crazy because I'm constantly in defense mode. Again...thanks Mom!🤦♂️
Guarantees Of Marriage: 1. The sex will stop. 2. Man just signed off 1/2 of his fortune to her. 3. She's guaranteed alimony from him until the day she dies. 4. Any children the couple may have, she will get custody. 5. If fighting turns physical and the police get involved, the man is at fault by default. 6. Never enter into a contract where one party is rewarded for breaking it. Men aren't afraid of marriage. They're terrified of divorce.
They say the older a ginger gets the more stronger their flavor is.. I have problem in relationships I think it goes toward your self or some say “narcissist,” it’s just a part of me that when problems arise i handle things my own way and don’t want to bother with others.. if feelings still there then it’s fine but if not, it’s best single.. as for desire to be or if fall in love again, knowing that I have relationships problems, I would still wish to be able to love someone and only love stronger through time, and I’d love doesnt struck again I wish the best best love for that person .. that’s what you feel as you get older nothing left but to love , even if you can’t have them.
I think of myself as gay, but in reality, and I do say this with the upmost respect to Dr. JBP, I realized that is because he set the bar way too high so, I really cannot picture myself with a man that does not have this typology, and you guys are so damn rare 😅, its like almost unicorns. That is why, I prefer women. They love differently and a good centered woman, even without a high IQ is a good partner, in my mind. Now .. the thing is to work in the dismissive attachment style of mine. 😅
First, do you have your sh*t together? Finances, mentally and physically good and strong? Leader? Disciplined? Can you provide for her and protect her? If you are, does SHE pass the test? Young, pretty, and fertile? Fit, feminine, friendly with a good positive attitude? Is she not going to argue with you constantly about stupid sh*t, not combative, and agreeable? Does she know when to keep her mouth shut and not embarrass you in front of your friends of co-workers? Can she cook and clean? Is she a 304? How is her purity?
@@Toefoo100 coin toss to have them, and for them to love you in the end, especially if the mom is shit. I concur that this is a giant shit bargain in the western world; I'm seeing the beginnings of this lopsided system in the Orient as well. The best we can hope for is that we will be smart enough to hold back coming inside her until we see her true colors, which is usually 5~6 months. There are clear cases of successful marriages until our very ends even in the worst of circumstances, like GuLaG Soviet Europe or Soviet Asia; imagine trying to start and raise a family and hope your own kids don't grow up to turn you in to the secret police. At least we aren't as bad as that, and even then things can always get worse. I don't have any firsthand advice on how to navigate this successfully. I've lost my firsts to a lying slut at 32. No one is immune, not even You. But also you can always be smart about it. The duality of Man.
![[UA] NAVI vs MOUZ | BO5 | IEM Rio 2024](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/CMBYk0cbGoA/mqdefault.jpg)
The best definition of intimacy I've heard is being able to make yourself vulnerable and still feel safe
Never fucking happens with a modern American feminist.
Holy shiet!🫂
No that sounds terrible lol
Just my two cents though.
Love this!
Absolutely ❤
True intimacy goes far beyond sex. True intimacy means you have someone that you can be vulnerable with and tell all of your deepest most fears and desires and know that person will not betray you.
💯
Married 30 years. What sex?
……or even bother to listen to you. Mine cuts off if I use anything longer than one sentence. It’s pretty grim really, so thank goodness for the companionship of my dogs.
But if you're not having sex, then you have to question the intimacy of your partner.
As far as I'm concerned, once that goes due to artificial causes (disinterest, complacency) they're as good as roommates and that is easily sexual abuse.
Besides, females have proven they are no longer worthy of trust since they've been allowed to no-fault divorce for 3 generations and are the majority of divorces. Marriage is _dead_ .
@@DTreatz while there is the expectancy of sex in marriage, it is not in the vows. The vows only require each to forsake all others. Sex is a desire, not a need. Air, water, food and shelter are needs. Loss any one of those items for particular length of time and in case of shelter weather conditions, can result in your death. It is not abuse. Divorce is acceptable for infidelity but not for withholding sex. Are you really trying to argue that you have possession of the other person's body?
Until I was in my mid-20s, i never thought i would get married and didn't really seek to. But I did meet someone wonderful, got married, and it was the best decision i ever made by far. Marriage propelled me forward and showed me a new dimension of life i never would have known. Then having a child did it yet again. These relationships bring meaning and help make life good.
Of course, that can be true for some, statistically speaking.
Why do you need a contract to get your relationship to the next level?
53 year old widower. My wife passed when my daughter was 5 she is now going on 15. I needed all focus on her at the time and just like that 9 years went bye. Everyone has there reasons for being alone but it’s doable. Not sure about end game though
I envy you, dear stranger. You lead a life I so desire to live myself someday
You are coping. You didn't have to get married to do any of that, but now you have involved the government contractually.
Better hope you never get divorced, or you're in for a world of hurt. Better keep the Mrs. happy, slave mantra _happy wife happy life_
🙄
Being married to the wrong person is a killer.
Why do you believe you need a contract to prove you want a serious relationship? I'm asking everyone this question and I can't seem to get a proper answer
@@astro___prodI believe Dr Peterson can answer that
@@astro___prod because until you have made that deeper commitment you don't open as much and get as close.
However, not everyone does that so marriage is not a guarantee of a closer more emotionally intimate relationship but ive rarely seen the same Level of connection in a couple who hadn't gone the extra step of commitment
@@birgitmitchell5648 I still don't understand why you see a contract from the government as a sign of commitment, most marriages end in divorce just like most love relationships fade away, marriage only makes everything harder, it only works for masochist men who enjoy giving away their money to parasite women, other than that, if you have a healthy relationship, you seek proves of commitment in other things, such as having babies
Yep it’s like a slow torture.
Marriage can be a lonely and abusive place to be so I recommend make sure your know the person and his family very well before taking that step of Faith.. it’s not just about sexual relationships it’s so much more
It is not marriage that is abusive or lonely. It is being with someone who is abusive and checked out... Which, by the way, happens in unmarried relationships too. Like you said, get to know the person real well and make wise choices.
Ill pass
🤣 Exactly....
The Bible made it very clear to me what a true partnership between a man a woman really means. I am happy and I am whole. I don't need anything else.
Amen. Best marriage you can ever have is the one between you and God.
And...... partnership
What you're implying isn't clear
I’m lifelong celibate
Matthew Kelly had a talk called "The Seven Levels of Intimacy" that really explored this emotional intimacy that Dr. Peterson is talking about. Not just in romantic partnerships, but in all relationships.
Thanks I’ll have to look at Matthew Kelly’s talk. Widow of almost 7 years and don’t know a lot about much. Which I guess is a good thing thanks again for your comment. Must stay humble so to learn from others…..
I liked everything Dr. Peterson had to say in this video.
Finding someone is not so easy though. Sometimes a person just gets frustrated and decides to give up on that, instead just tries to make a fulfilling life for themselves without a partner.
The bottom line, the older I get and the more experience I have with life, the more I see that happiness and life satisfaction has almost nothing to do with how a person seems to be living, or any circumstance.
I mean, I know married people who are happy, single people who are miserable, I know single people who are happy, married people who are miserable, I know polyamorous couples who are some of the smartest and most efficient people in the world. I know some people who are perpetual playboys who are miserable, some who are almost manically happy and major social contributors to society. Again, no correlation between any of this at all in life satisfaction or meaning, none of that stuff. I mean, I know people who have huge families, who are genuinely just totally depressed. It's like, how can that be? Well life is complex LOL
I mean, it's one thing to say this is the answer, or that is the answer... But I think the only true answer is that, like so much of human psychology, it's complex, and it depends a lot on the person, their environment, and really, their genetics... I feel like it's laughable to have these sorts of discussions without talking about genes like COMT and DRD4, etc, among hundreds more.. Literally MILLIONS of polymorphisms, all playing into personality and satisfaction. Not to mention this doesn't even get into the discussion of hormones, which are major mediators in all sorts of social behaviors. Hormones in brain chemistry are also affected by the environment, which is of confuse filled with all sorts of estrogenic and androgen blocking toxins, and is even affected by just regular minerals in the groundwater. I recently read a study in which countries that have higher ground levels of lithium in the water have way lower rates of violent crimes. The bottom line is, social structure isn't so simple. Guys like Jordan Peterson would of course like you to believe that there is really just a few ways to rise to the top, where you find success and happiness if only you just xyz, but it's simply not true. The secret to life is not to find love, or virtual single life, or sex, or even meaning for that matter (and I happen to really admire existential philosophy, btw)... I think the key of life is to find what works best for you, your individual personality, your brain chemistry, and ultimately, your life. Cheers
agree agree agree
ABSOLUTELY! Well said, my Friend. JP is great for the most part, but I agree with you, there are just TOO MANY moving parts in this equation. Take care!
I wish i could save this comment
It's pretty simple mate:
Society _needs_ absolute monogamy and marriage to function. J. D. Unwin found it causal this and predicted decline if any other option but patriarchal absolute monogamy was not what society ran on.
Polygyny is the natural state of humans, but it can't work on a societal level, by the sheer math, which is on main reason no advanced polygynous societies exist.
Whether or not people are "happy" is not the goal of absolute monogamy, the goal is that its the most efficient and most practical for individuals and for society to stabilize and advance. People can learn each other and make it work, it takes _work_ but it can happen, especially if people know their roles, but ultimately happiness is not the main goal, contentedness and stability is.
Thank you for this information I had to screen shot
It's so refreshing to listen to a man like Jordan Peterson discuss the meaning of true intimacy and marriage. 💛
You only get to know your partner after you date and live with the person for a long time .....
While dating, people are in their best behaviors and all they do is meet to do something fun or entertaining. ... Dinner date, Beach days, movies, week ends, vacations trips, events ...
When you live with the person, you get know them on good and bad days ... Then you know when the relation flows naturally, without much efforts even during hardship times and without all the various $ entertainment ....or it does not...
That means in marriage, we have got to prepare that there are times of conflicts, disagreements, and adversity. These are the challenges, and a successful marriage is how we would overcome them without ruining the marriage. Honesty, mutual trust, love, respect, and understanding are the elements to overcome the obstacles in a relationship.
50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Good luck to all dudes who are married. Share your horror stories.
More like 60 percent
100% of divorces start with marriage
Divorce should be illegal
@@gracefulhealer935no
@@gracefulhealer935 As of right now, the only country that has made divorce illegal is the Philippines.
Thank you for clarifying the definition of intimacy! You express yourself authentically! ❤
Marriage is a very risky deal these days. Basically you get to jump out of an airplane taking a parachute knowing there are more chances not to open than to properly function. Thanks .... I am good ....
For womwn it was always risky and we had to shut up and take it but now we don't have to and we can leave abusive marriges and some men are angry aout this amd scared instead of actually improving themselves.
@@sarcodonblue2876 tipical victimhood card being played ..... and the numbers of LTRs and marriages clearly show that the juice is not worth the squeeze. Also passport bros is a clear sign. Plus the rigged system that is against males adds an innertia to the red pill.
Their not improving themselves for YOU that's for damn sure.
@@alexcarter2461 of course they are not. I am no Chad or Tyrone.
@@johnnyd4324 Not meant for you, the commenter above my aforementioned statement, my apologies
Id say after having no relationship for a while, though was happy being alone and then having a long-term 10 year relationship thus far. I'd easily go back to being content alone again. Once you discover yourself, any person entering your life should make things easier not more complicated, to a certain degree.
Exactly
Still no answere for: Why get married?
EXACTLY !!!
“Is this the line to lose half my shit? This is gonna be great!” - Bill Burr
Jordan Peterson: Master of answering a question without actually answering the question.
Did you watch the video? Intimacy
@@BenT800 Can't i get intimacy without marriage? This is still no reason.
The question remains...why get married? especially when marriage is deceptively marketed as a crucial stage for love, when it's actually a financial institution. U can have an intimate relationship without the need of an institution of marriage. So what remains a mystery is the logic behind it.
Marriage is necessary for raising children. If you want children you should have them with a partner in marriage. Children with married parents perform better academically and are healthier mentally and physically then children whose parents are not married.
@@globalnationalismyoutube marriage isn't the only form of stability and let's not forget the divorce rate. Therefore, marriage isn't some magical absolute solution. It's about the values the relationship is built on...
There’s no upside if you’re a man. It’s a bad contract. If it fails women come out on top.
Sometimes I struggle to get my husband's poverty but I also am aware that our differences are just as important as our similiarities.
Why do you believe you need a contract to prove you want a serious relationship? I'm asking everyone this question and I can't seem to get a proper answer
@@astro___prodIt shows that you are willing to face government sanctions to marry the person. It’s the ultimate way of knowing if someone is serious
Men would have to be crazy to get married. 70% of marriages end in divorce, and most of the remainder are miserable.
Middle age and single. Would be nice to find someone, but don’t care to deal with baggage. Past all of that now.
Why not a widow?
@@ffnovice7 Because _BAGGAGE_ he just said it.
Look as young and untainted, more than likely outside the U.S., but be in good shape when you do and sell yourself younger.
@@DTreatz i need an example. I've only had sluts. I was hoping widows weren't as hopeless
Some of us desire solitude.
True intimacy to me is sharing your life as best friends! Banter, trusting your life in your partner's hands, nuturing, respect has to be a given, great communication and caring for each other mentally and physically and it helps to have a good sense of humor.
Sex, money, and looks are temporal. We're spirits in a human experience, agree?
Jordan for PRESIDENT 🇺🇸!!! Such a beautiful man. I see God in him and over him. God bless.
He’s Canadian…🇨🇦
@smolbean5204 WHAAAT!?! Well I believe he can become a U.S citizen or dual citizen can't he?
@@eduardoarellano-gs4gn you have to be born here to be president my friend. But, Obama did a bang up job hiding that he was born in Kenya. So not impossible.
Pretty sure you gotta be natural born citizen to run for president
Why do you believe you need a contract to prove you want a serious relationship? I'm asking everyone this question and I can't seem to get a proper answer
I think that intimacy means compromising yourself and showing the true you to the other person in terms of how emotional you can get, what triggers these emotions and how you feel after the intimacy act is done. It does include but is not limited to sex, there are many ways to express love or need for example. What I know is that I barely explained intimacy as it is a very deep topic and the only way to understand it is to experience it yourself. And how to trust someone enough to perform the act of intimacy with? Marriage.
No one in my generation wants to get married, it's honestly heartbreaking.
Took the words right out of my mouth
Do not ignore the legalities.. 60% divorce, 80% by women...don't ignore me#2 & false accusations...
etc. The obstacles to lasting relationships are widespread and antagonistic.
Marriage is too risky today.... Biblical marriage is ideal but rarely attainable long term!
True intimacy is getting to know someone. Exactly! I don't think anyone teaches that anymore. This idea of dating and then having sex right away to see if you like them is ridiculous.
Dating is getting to know someone.
Mostly you'd be on your best behaviour... you'd share your favourite beauty spots... locations... holiday photos... go to restaurants... wine, dine... probably get in debt trying to impress the other.
Then the rose tinted glasses fall off... and you start going back to bad habits... no longer fluffing up pillows... staying late at work 😉
WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE???
ISN'T THAT GREAT???
BEST CASE SCENARIO... THROW IN A COUPLE OF KIDS.... BECOME YOUR OWN MILLSTONE... WOW!!!
GOOD QUESTION JORDAN!!!
I TAKE IT BACK
Having a partner is definitely not an easy task but it is definitely achievable if both parties come to an agreement.
Feminism killed traditional marriage for Western women. Now we're finding it somewhere else. Enjoy being strong and independent, ladies. Go Passport Bros!!!
What killed marriage in the west was, and is, workshy guys - living their soft life.
Two completely joined as one 🙏
@@Remembering-rq6si I do some days but you know that old fairy tale about HOPE
Has JP fixed the divorce courts yet?
Don't get married ever guys
How do you know who to marry and how do you cultivate a deep friendship and intimacy that leads to marriage ? Too many marry without even knowing each other in a deep sincere way ? Is it true that you don't just marry the person you " marry " their family and friends as well ? In other words , if their family has a toxic way about them , and your potential spouse hasn't done the work to leave the toxic behind , in their heads especially , do you face years of toxic familial relationships , affecting your children as well ?
I believe Seek Ye 1st the Kingdom is the only answer!
At least for a great chance at getting with someone who’s living the same beliefs and understanding ✨
I dont think everyone's made to marry or be in a relationship.
True, but for Western men it's self-deletion to marry a Western female. Go Passport Bros!!!!
True intamacy in a marriage is felt in 2 ways in my opinion.
The first is being able to be 100% your true self and not just be accepted for it but actually loved for it. That is first and foremost.
The 2nd (and maybe this is just my italian roots) is preparing a meal for your spouse, with your spouse, and the meal is prepared by your spouse.... you should have all 3 frequently if you're married. Ive always said my wife and i have a great sex life, but the kitchen is where we have tge most intamacy. The warmth and feeling you get of preparing a meal and eating together is something you can't replace. The same goes for kids. Our daughter is most intimate (in that she is willing to share real aspects of her life with us) in the kitchen with us. The living room is for disengaged together time, bedrooms are for alone time, but the kitchen is for intimate togetherness. Do not underestimate the power of an occupied and used kitchen... unused and unoccupied kitchens are usually a bad sign for a relationship/family
Before I removed myself from dating apps one statement on my profile read "Seeking an intimate relationship, not sex." And those who misinterpret that immediately were removed.
Intimacy = Into - Me - See
In other words, you see me, all of me, and I see you, all of you. All the potential best and all the potential worst, and we encourage the best to come forth in each other. It's not just the sex, but the sex does strengthen the bond once the foundation is established. You are each other's beneficial adversaries.
Can you tell me which video this is from? Would love to watch the full content
Na, I want the partnership. That's the whole thing. You dress up for her, she dresses up for you. You are emersed in a world you create with your partner. The sex comes with the good relationship. That isn't something you need to try for. Marriage is great if your going to have children. Kids really need a father and a mother. If your not planning on procreating with a partner, stop screwing around and go find someone you really want to do that with.
Get married and have kids. I'm not, but I do want other people to do it. I still want the partner even if there are no children. I'm finding difficulty finding a mate in today's times. I don't want to live in separate places. Some older women I talk to will have sex with me, but getting them to give up their lives to start a new one, I've found this difficult. By 50 women like the life they have an want to add you as an ornament. I want them to want to move in with me and cook meals together and learn from each other chatting and sharing life together. I'm still trying to meet someone special for me. I'm on stable ground now. I can afford a life with someone now.
Intimate relations are not the same as marriage. at least state sanctioned marriage. that's a business contract where the man is destroyed the moment the woman feels like doing so.
I'm a single male and wheni was in my twenties I worked construction and every pay day i seen a line of women getting there ex husband's pay check I asked him if he had any money left he said he was eating beans because that's all he had left after his ex wife took it all you could see the sadness In his eye's it woke me up to woman's nature when I was in my twenties never forgot that lesson. Marry the right one or your screwed over .
True intimacy has numerous levels, physical, emotional, mental, etc.
Don't get married in the United States, Canada, the UK, Australia, and the countries that legally behave like that.
All of what he said can be had without marriage
People would like a partner, but without unfixable chaos.
It's too late for most average males imo, they aren't able to provide for a spouse and the amount of high maintenance females is high, add too much phone addiction into fear of miss out into "the garden of the neighbour is greener" (in general-on average ofc) is making females of almost any age monkey branch from a dude to another. (Ofc not all of them are like that, but...average men can't attract much better, most of the times)
It would be nice to see a discussion between you and Cal Newport, the author of "Digital minimalism" and "Deep work", hope you read this comment. I am looking forward for a discussion like that.
How did he make a jump from "why get married" to "well, people want a partner" instantaneously, as if there's a self-explanatory link between those two?
You don’t need marriage to have a partner.
I think it’s a much, much different thing to find your partner at a young and and to grow with them and create a lifestyle pattern together rather than create your own lifestyle pattern as a young adult on your own and try to partner with someone later on..I think people get pretty stuck in their ways and that becomes pretty unreconcilable as time goes on.
🙂 1 Corinthians 7=9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to be inflamed with passion.
You make some excellent points here Jordan about marriage but for me I don’t think I should ever get married because number one I don’t have enough money to pay for a wedding venue or ceremony. I don’t have enough money for a wedding reception, suit and tie and food and drinks. Since I’m only a young adult my best bet is to find a girlfriend.
Just tell the woman that you can't afford it.
Marriage is a bad business contract with the government involving your love life. You can have a lifelong intimate relationship without the government telling your relationship how to be.
True intimacy, true love exists among family members.
I can feel perfectly save when I open myself up to my mother and sister and vice versa❤
The issue is that most men see sex as the only way to be intimate and that anything else is a waste of time unless it results in sex.
@@sarcodonblue2876 The thing is that one does initially feel attraction, wich may take on several forms. However, this not real love. It may be a sort of craving, or longing, or even a small form of Obsession, but it isn't love. Love does only form after a long time with the build up of trust, vulnerability and faithfullness. Only then do you have a love with devoution and respect between each other.
Maybe if there was a guarantee she wouldn’t change or walk away from the vows, but that’s a gamble I’m not willing to make
I can have a partner come over twice a month, no strings attached, aww the good life!
You can have all of it without needing to tie yourself up to someone. A serious dating is a proof of it.
Beautiful jacket ! ❤
I hear friends or other moaning about be single and the other people who are in a relationship are moaning about their relationship. I like focus on me. It a mind set. The only person who you can moan to if you forgot milk is you. It's make me relie on me better. I education I happy with being single person. I have friends and family to love and cook for. People try and make me feel unhealthy not to want a relationship. It only because it more common to need a relationship. I hope enough. Thankfully I have can entertain myself. I don't need a relationship or want it. Not because I can't or I am scared or I be hurt before. I have an relationship with me. I got to understand me and that's snobbery enough
I struggle in relationships. I'm to emotional and sensitive. Thank you Mom.🤦♂️
Yes it's me, but not always. I am pretty smart and competent.
I just drive her crazy because I'm constantly in defense mode. Again...thanks Mom!🤦♂️
Why do you need to get married to have a partner?
Guarantees Of Marriage:
1. The sex will stop.
2. Man just signed off 1/2 of his fortune to her.
3. She's guaranteed alimony from him until the day she dies.
4. Any children the couple may have, she will get custody.
5. If fighting turns physical and the police get involved, the man is at fault by default.
6. Never enter into a contract where one party is rewarded for breaking it.
Men aren't afraid of marriage.
They're terrified of divorce.
As a single Traditional Catholic woman, I don't believe in divorce. (Nor does the Catholic Church)
The sex stops, because the guy is proving what a loser he really is. Big turnoff.
But with the divorce rates and the disantantage men are in family court having a long term unmarried relationship is a lot better and risk free.
They say the older a ginger gets the more stronger their flavor is.. I have problem in relationships I think it goes toward your self or some say “narcissist,” it’s just a part of me that when problems arise i handle things my own way and don’t want to bother with others.. if feelings still there then it’s fine but if not, it’s best single.. as for desire to be or if fall in love again, knowing that I have relationships problems, I would still wish to be able to love someone and only love stronger through time, and I’d love doesnt struck again I wish the best best love for that person .. that’s what you feel as you get older nothing left but to love , even if you can’t have them.
No good reason too!
So what if you got to know them and ended up only liking half their character?
We already are 3.
You are one of my heroes, in the realest sense of the word.
Send Nicky, he's hot.
No point getting married.
'People want...a partner!' 😂😂😂
I think of intimacy as someone knows what you're going to say before it come out of your mouth. They know you. 😊
I think of myself as gay, but in reality, and I do say this with the upmost respect to Dr. JBP, I realized that is because he set the bar way too high so, I really cannot picture myself with a man that does not have this typology, and you guys are so damn rare 😅, its like almost unicorns.
That is why, I prefer women. They love differently and a good centered woman, even without a high IQ is a good partner, in my mind. Now .. the thing is to work in the dismissive attachment style of mine. 😅
Is this guy a wizard or somethin'? These are words that's so obvious but is never said correctly, yet this guy seemingly does it effortlessly
I'm defensive af. Had a gf in 2009 who was bat shit insane and controlling. I have not been able to trust someone since.
woww same story for me brother
Women no longer reward the actions or personality traits that would make men good husbands.
Extraordinarily well said
He’s such a brilliant man
What if you are in too much pain to "want" a partner, & just need a friend to talk with once in a while, & help w/laundry? NOT a fun spot.
Legal marriage is just paper.
Get married spiritually, not legally.
Robot wife for a happy life!
🔥🤖👰4️⃣🐒👦2️⃣❤
I really want to ask my high school sweet heart her hand in marriage she is the only one who really knows me
First, do you have your sh*t together? Finances, mentally and physically good and strong? Leader? Disciplined? Can you provide for her and protect her? If you are, does SHE pass the test? Young, pretty, and fertile? Fit, feminine, friendly with a good positive attitude? Is she not going to argue with you constantly about stupid sh*t, not combative, and agreeable? Does she know when to keep her mouth shut and not embarrass you in front of your friends of co-workers? Can she cook and clean? Is she a 304? How is her purity?
To have someone to love ❤️
I'd rather be alone forever and only have intimate friends so marriage is off the books as soon as I get my divorce and freedom😂
I will never get married 😒
Anybody got videos on fixing temptation?
I don’t I’m afraid. I do have 2 bricks that could solve your dilemma though 😂
@@couldwellbe4227 You must got that Home Depot discount.
People want a partner, but then one person gets bored and wants a different partner.
Having a partner who knows what you're thinking without having to say a word .
Intellectual intimacy is much more orgasmic then sexual activity
@@Remembering-rq6siI think the message is: It's not all about sex, but to be able to connect with someone.
@@Remembering-rq6si😂
It really is
With modern laws, marriage makes no sense.
It was, and still is, patriarchal, misogynist propaganda.
Jordan, Im not gay but the only one person that I wanna get married is you
GOOD ANSWER 😉
Only weak spirits get married they need help
An Omega personality type
I love the true intimacy of losing my house my kids and my car
Then you won't risk the possibility of a successful marriage and having children at all?
@@ffnovice7 what's the point of having kids if it's a coin toss if you're allowed to see them or not?
@@Toefoo100 coin toss to have them, and for them to love you in the end, especially if the mom is shit. I concur that this is a giant shit bargain in the western world; I'm seeing the beginnings of this lopsided system in the Orient as well.
The best we can hope for is that we will be smart enough to hold back coming inside her until we see her true colors, which is usually 5~6 months.
There are clear cases of successful marriages until our very ends even in the worst of circumstances, like GuLaG Soviet Europe or Soviet Asia; imagine trying to start and raise a family and hope your own kids don't grow up to turn you in to the secret police. At least we aren't as bad as that, and even then things can always get worse.
I don't have any firsthand advice on how to navigate this successfully. I've lost my firsts to a lying slut at 32. No one is immune, not even You. But also you can always be smart about it. The duality of Man.
Well maybe you meed to work on your communication skills amd become emotionally available
many things in life are 'coin toss'
you don't know if you'll be alive tomorrow, so what's the point of taking care of yourself today? @@Toefoo100
K bud
That's true love
True.
What happens if you don’t want to get married
Cuz we were being too naive 😅