Regardless of who initiates a breakup or if it’s a mutual decision, it can be a pretty traumatic experience. Here is some (mostly) practical advice (please fill in!): 1. Don’t stalk their social media. If you feel the need to, unfollow them and/or block them. Don’t wonder “what they’ll think” - remember, you’re doing this for you. 2. Don’t look at your photos together etc., unless you’re at a mental state where you can do it as “therapy” or where you can look at them only to genuinely appreciate the time you had together. It’s ok to get rid of everything if you want to, it’s also ok to keep it. :) (unless you have any “private” photos of them, then you delete them out of respect. 3. Don’t get comfortable in your sadness, guilt or whatever you’re feeling. If you are, talk to someone about it. 4. Listening to music that you can relate to at the moment is helpful for some people. Test the waters. If it makes you feel worse, don’t listen to it. 5. Don’t compare your healing journey to anyone else’s. 7. No one will ever fully understand what you’re going through - don’t blame them for it. Just like you’ll never fully understand what someone else is going through. That’s the beauty of relationships, it’s unique for the people involved. It’s also what can make it difficult to move on. 6. Be grateful that you’re a human who got to feel love! How cool is that?! What even is it?! I can’t see it, can’t tough it, yet here I am feeling all these things. Woho! I’m alive! 7. Yes, it didn’t last, but neither do some of your favorite meals or the trips you’ve been on - that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t appreciate it for the time they lasted. (note for point 6&7: again, every relationship is different, and I know people go through horribly traumatizing relationships where someone telling them to be grateful can be absolutely maddening. Please seek out someone to talk to if this is you. You deserve healing. 8. Change your ringtone. 9. Don’t numb the pain, deal with it. Alc*hol, dr*gs, meaningless s*x-those things are unhealthy and it’s not dealing with what’s going on. 10. Remind yourself that what you’re feeling is a universal feeling. 11. It might feel like you’re dying, you’re not. 12. It gets better, even if it doesn’t feel like it. 13. There is a reason the two of you ended, regardless of how many excuses you try to make up for how “maybe” you could’ve made it work “if ony xyz”. Well, you didn’t. 15. People often act out of selfishness, it’s our nature. Most things aren’t as personal as we think. 16. Breakups normally happen because one- or two-people’s needs weren’t met. Sometimes it’s fair, sometimes it really isn’t. But fair or not-it is what it is. Life isn’t fair at all and love and relationships are no exception. 17. You give yourself closure. 18. I wrote this whole thing right before posting, so excuse any grammar. 19. Love is the most beautiful thing, remember that. :)
I can relate you forgot to mention how we keep blaming either ourselves or someone else I did that. It really hits your self esteem and yes it do feel like your are dying and you can't it's ughh awful remembering it makes me scary
When it's over, it's over. Some people can't comprehend that. The day i lost both my parents 17 months apart, i realized that life is too short to stress over a break up.
one day i was smiling instead of crying, looking at the pictures... yes it's sad that it didn't work with the person whom i'd thought to be "the one" but we had good times together and i accepted the fact that it had to end. so that we can find the right people for us, instead of forcing what we had. still doesn't explain why i smiled tho, but i did.
It really does. It reminds me of the Hemmingway quote: "when two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it." But we can enjoy it and appreciate it while it's still here. Wishing you well, and that we can all find the strength to love again, and as openheartedly as ever before
What if breakups happens to you all the time and the people that always comes to your life is always temporary and again breakups scenarios happen again and again. I believe love is not for all I'm not tired and i don't lose my hopes but I'm done and i will keep it that way
Yeah I think its the best. But right after the breakup its often very hard to forget someone. My last breakup was very hurting, I don´t know if I will ever get over it. But maybe its better to begin new and love myself more..
The worst part about a breakup is when you understand all the theories and the steps that you need to take to move on and why you need to take them, but you can’t bring yourself to actually implement them or be consistent with them because of several psychological reasons...
My mind has a whole list of reasons of why it wasn't meant to be & recognizes how awful she's been to me since she left... but that still doesn't stop my poor, shattered heart from filling my eyes with tears from time to time. When it happens, though, I try to remember to thank God for my pain because she did mean so much to me & it was an amazing blessing to have her in my life for quite some time.
Some things i wish i didn't do after breakup. 1. Keeping in contact with the person 2. Thinking of getting back together 3. Trying to make less of the actual situations that happened and led to break up 4. Hoping the person would change Is not easy to un-love someone but with time i am sure things will get better. Focus more on your self-improvement and do what you gotta do!
@@lovelyrita4953 me too. Happened 2 weeks ago and I feel numb. I don't know what to do. She just said she moved on, I'm so confused on what that means I thought we were doing great. I feel like I'll never find anyone like her again. Help.
*Truth.* I realize now just how often I justified certain things &/or buried my head in the sand. And she did the same, I'm sure. I wish I had been more honest with myself, yet at the same time, I couldn't even fathom the idea of letting her go. It's been extremely tough, but also a(n) (painfully) enlightening journey this year.
Wish I could relate to that. I suffered major depression (still do ofc) and they were the one thing that helped me dealing with it or just feeling less alone / positive thing in my life💀💀💀💀
“I am a person who takes commitment seriously and I’m proud of that, but I’ve realised that this is the reason why I’ve stayed in damaging for me relations.” - this is exactly what I needed today. Thank you so much, Lana.
It is difficult, just as we are as human beings. We are complex and imperfect, therefore relationships will be like that. The only we can do is to try our best, learn more about it and be well meaning and of course have values.
Me too!! I am so loyal I stay when they hurt me. Because that’s what a good lover does they don’t give up on the other person. It would be awesome is she just loved me back. That one. Im
I remember the most painful breakup I had in college. I use to walk 4-5km from home to school then school to my home. I did that for a couple of months to kill time because when I stay still time seems to be stagnant which adds more suffering. So walking helped me move on literally.
“Remove expectations from people and you will remove their powers to hurt your feelings. If you don’t like something, just take it away, it’s only power is your attention.” 💫
@Christina ❣️, truly it's true. What's also true is that the heart is resilient and has strength beyond what we may currently perceive. Do believe in fate and have faith in the universe, almighty or universal intelligence. Every happens for us and not too us. We often deceive ourselves into feeling more pain than necessary. This not being said to invalidate our feelings. We are all human, we're all emotional beings. And not everything is logical or rational. Logic or rationalism can never be an end goal. Nor can irrationalism. There are many things we can wrap our heads around and some things we can't. There are many things we can try to derive a better meaning from. My heart goes out to your Christina. I wish my few words places some fire in yours. Really. Take it one day at a time, don't be too hard on yourself. We can only but do our best❤️
Breakups are so weird. the relationship, the bond that you've built over a time, just ends in a day or a moment like someone meant so much to you at one time, doesn't mean anything now on?!!! like how does that happen.. it's too hard for me to let go, i can't or idk i won't maybe?! ahhhh 😭
My wife told me she was leaving me about a year ago & I was/am absolutely heartbroken. Over time, though, I've come to realize just how much I tried to justify certain behaviors &/or all the times I buried my head in the sand. I desperately hoped we were simply experiencing a rough patch, but it's obvious in hindsight that she was pulling away. It didn't happen out of the blue, as utterly shocking as it was at the time. As a counselor told me, "Sometimes, even though it really, really sucks, you have to live with other people's choices & adjust accordingly." _Way_ easier said than done, but there's truth in this statement. I still shed tears nearly everyday, so I'm not pretending I've got my act together, but you do slowly start to realize some important things about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. I cry much less than I used to, so I consider that a victory. In the end, all we can do is wish them well & then do right by ourselves in the days to come.
@@spk1121 I think it doesn't matter what you would have done, it would have ended regardless. You can't convince someone to stay. They will sabotage and do whatever is necessary to justify. They will make it impossible for you to resolve things.
@@hgzmatt: What a coincidence! I was thinking earlier today that even if I had done everything optimally on my end, it would have only delayed the inevitable a little while. Very interesting that you wrote this not long before! And yes, that's why I was saying I buried my head in the sand so many times. I wanted so desperately to believe things were misunderstandings rather than what you described. At least I'll know better in the future.
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Same bro... We slept together last time and then she broke up with me after few months... It sucks... I didn't know it was the last time we'll be sleeping together.
People with depression or mental health issues which are having a hard time loving themselves are still valid and deserve to get loved so I do not agree with that.
Horse shit. People love people who don’t love themselves.......and you can love something greater than yourself or without loving yourself very much. What is the point of creating these unnecessary stipulations for starting up a relationship? You’re just limiting yourself. Relationship are all individually decided upon. Create your own terms and conditions with your partner and stop over generalizing. No one is ever “complete” for whole. Stop waiting and hoping for shit that won’t likely happen and just be who you are.
Breakups are hard, make you feel miserable and give you a lot of self doubt. However, they also teach us so much about ourselves and help us grow more than we ever thought we could. For everyone going through a breakup, stand strong because things will get better, I promise ☺️
@@ThreeTwentyTech horrible tbh. I wake up and can’t go back to sleep because of my thoughts, can’t eat. I can’t do my assignments. The worst part is that I know that we shouldn’t get back together and he wouldn’t want to anyways because he can be logical, but I keep thinking about how we could get better and fix our issues. I think about our good memories like we never even had bad ones and get sad.
@@ThreeTwentyTech also i’m 24 but this is my first breakup where i still have feelings for the other person and i’m sadly romanticising the past and i think we can get better if both of us tried, but he doesn’t want to, due to his personal problems.
@@pelinyarba If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. I know it can be hard because I've been through similar experiences but it's something we all have to deal with, unfortunately. Let me know if you need someone to talk to!
There is a HUGE difference in the experience of a breakup for the person that initiated it versus the experience of the person that didn't initiate it or want it. Its much harder on the one that didn't initiate it and it takes far longer for them to recover.
I actually broke up with my bf and it hurt so much because I had to realize that he wasn’t going to change. As much as I loved him and wanted this change I had to come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t going to do it. And I feel like I’m hurting worse than him.
@@luckyduck_. Change HOW?? Questions. Who are you to dictate how and why and what he needs to change? Did you take your time getting to know him, in the first place? You broke up with him all I hear is that you gave up. I don't know the details but what do you mean change? Did you change? Anything that he wanted you to change and you didn't?
@@christopherthomas8421 it’s so funny because you’re speaking on a relationship you know nothing about. When you keep hearing lies and false promises of changing you get tired. No, I am not going to stick around with someone who is not changing themselves for the better and instead want to wallow in their misery. I’m not obligated to be with someone and wait for them to change. Call it what you want but I realized my worth and got tf out before he could drag me down with him. And I feel amazing.
The best way I can describe my heartbreak is like being homesick when I was a child. You have to remind yourself that you will find home elsewhere eventually
Hello, I recommend you to Dr Ezekiel, he was the one who helped me restore my 6 years broken relationship, he can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. Also, Dr Ezekiel always keep to his promise. I will advice you seek his help thanks.
Breakups are so strange: I was with someone for two years and when things ended I moved on right away and carried on with my life feeling just fine. My latest relationship lasted less than a month and here I am, a month later, still so heartbroken and stuck it hurts.
I suspect you had time to process that the first relationship wasn't truly right, even if you didn't initiate the breakup. With the second relationship, you may have felt a genuine connection & are not only despondent over this loss, but also deeply mourning the lost potential, i.e. "what could have been." I can completely relate with this, believe me! The lack of time to process & cutting off the positive growth so abruptly probably contribute to your current feelings. Hang in there, hope you start to feel better soon!
"I am proud to be the type of person who takes loyalty and commitment seriously but I learned that it can be a weakness of mine because I tolerate more than I should. So now, I've learned that my well being comes before all of that" 💯perfect reframe, thank you
Yes! The focus has to be on healing yourself - sometimes that means lying in bed and eating chocolate and sometimes that means going out and living your best life. It’s all about following your intuition
Too many people nowadays are not necessarily in love with the person, but more in love with the idea of love, and so they cling onto anyone they can. Do not seek out relationships, they will come naturally when you are ready. A good relationship is a product of a good life, not the other way around.
Easier said than done. And if you never meet available people you are not going to find. I'd like to believe in fate and magical powers but my life is too precious to wait around for that. How is it that some people just find someone early and then that's it? Because they somehow live the perfect life and are ready? Oh please.. I have my issues, like everyone else.. and they aren't somehow more complete than I am.
Just broke up 2 days ago. You’re right, it is very weird to share someone’s life one moment then to be completely strangers the next. I felt disposed of, felt used, but I also knew from the beginning there was just something different in the both of us that I wasn’t sure would hold us together. I guess its a process but I’m slowly starting to accept both the good and the bad that came out of this relationship. Thanks Lana.
I know of a powerful man who can make your ex to come back to you begging you back for a second chance. He was the one who brought back my ex within 48 hours
Don’t blame yourself for the breakup or the other person’s behavior. It feeds a vicious cycle of self-loathing and frustration. Unproductive self-blaming is different from learning based on that experience: identify unhealthy patterns, prioritize self-improvement, and avoid seeing someone as a primary source of attention/validation. If we pay enough attention to ourselves, we won’t be deliberately looking for it elsewhere.
@@pieckfinger7169 do that by forgiving yourself first whether you are the victim or the criminal because once you do that you'll start the first step in becoming better. I'm going through the same right now but I'm still hanging on hope
@@christopherthomas8421 You’re welcome. As with any worthy pursuit, this takes time and mindfulness to practice. But it is possible to overcome old patterns.
@@maddiebrown1405 Hug you girl....you can do it...its tough but not impossible, just invest Ur time in exploring urself and practice self love,M doing the same...sending u lots of love and courage.
Hear, hear! I've been realizing more & more that I've been clinging to my rose-colored perceptions of my former wife, not the woman she truly was/is. Very tough to reconcile, but necessary to move fwd.
Im really this bored w/ myself. I wasnt in a r ship. Just had a crush. When drama occured from it, i decided to tell a higher up about it. I think i started off w/ theres this guy ive been talking to here. And 🤔 i cant even quote me word for word but she was like tyler? My head: 😅 they really dont pay that much attention to us. Phew. But um whos tyler? Bc he must be showing weird interest in me given the context i mentioned. :/ I was like ? Idk who tyler is. Then proceeded rambling on. Is tyler cute or a weirdo 🤔
Hi, get anyone you love or (SP) attracted to you. And also get your EX back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Steve, he helped me restore my 5 years broken relationship. Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words, I will advise you seek his help thanks.
After nearly 7 years of dating, two months ago I found out my ex was cheating on me for a month. It was the most pain I ever felt in my life. But looking back, I realized I had codependency issues. So I went cold turkey, changed my number, blocked her, and I feel significantly better two months later. You are valuable. Love yourself, and learn to feel your feelings, not someone else's. Thank you Lana for this video.
Thank you, Lana. 10-11 months ago I wouldn't have been able to watch these kinds of videos and would have been wallowing in my own pain. Today I'm proud of myself for allowing me to feel. For anyone reading this, things are looking up. I can't say that everything has changed to how I felt before, but when you go that deep, the only thing left is to go up. I promise you
My ex came back to me a few days ago ❤️ I got help from a Relationship Restorer Dr Steve who was able to mend back my broken relationship and make my ex to come back and beg for a second chance. He can bring your ex back
The worst part of a breakup is that the person now makes the next person pay for what the ex or ex’s did to them. Some people let their experiences with one or two people affect the entire rest of their life. Very sad. You cannot “fix” everyone. You have to fix yourself. Don’t bring the mental baggage to the new person. They are a new person and have zero to do with an ex
I broke up with my ex about 3 weeks ago and there are some days that i feel like i need to talk to him to rant and because i miss him a lot. But i never talked to him because i know that i need to get over him and i need to detach my feelings for him. Thank you lana for your tips ♡
Yes but YOU broke up with HIM! You(females) have a breakup mindset. He didn’t break up with you. Let the record show that YOU were the one to give up. How can you miss him but yet make the dec to force him away?
@@fatimafasey581 she isn’t strong? You don’t know any details. She gets this 💩 advice from you and everyone else and never develops the character to make a relationship work and put the effort in. Did you ask him to see a relationship expert before giving up? 99, no 100% Sure that you didn’t! You just gave up as the “victim “ didn’t you?
Allow yourself to really feel what you are feeling instead of worrying about how you appear through their eyes is the best breakup advice I've ever heard. So much great advice here, thank you! ❤🌹
Break ups are often the best lessons in how you are in a relationship, who you are seeking out and can be a great opportunity to grow both personally and in your next relationship 🙌
Sometimes we're tempted to say, "I wasted so much time with this person." But it's only a waste if we say so. Even if that person hurt us repeatedly, there is something about ourselves we can learn. What did we miss and why? What do we now know we will and won't put up with? How much stronger am I than I was before I met this person?
You are so right. I kept blaming myself for trusting that if we overcame everything for 8 years, we would be together our entire life, but he fell out of love, and I kept saying this was such a waste of time, but no, I learned a lot about myself, I worked much more on this relationship, I am actually proud I overcame so many obstacles within myself to help this relationship. He did not know how to appreciate that, but I will learn to love again...
Hi, get anyone you love or (SP) attracted to you. And also get your EX back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Steve, he helped me restore my 5 years broken relationship. Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words, I will advise you seek his help thanks.
Hi, get anyone you love or (SP) attracted to you. And also get your EX back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Steve, he helped me restore my 5 years broken relationship. Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words, I will advise you seek his help thanks.
As an INFJ, I wish if I had seen this 5 months ago. I had the worst breakup ever and read tons of online articles and listened to friends' advice but all they had to say was what you said in the 1st part of your video. The rest of your video is actually what I need.
I went through four breakups in the last ten years and I can admit that it's important to take the time you need after the breakup. Wether it's a few months or a few years, you will feel it when the time is right to go on dates again. And I really cherish my single time, when I can do whatever I want.
I think I was dating a narcissist and now I don't even know how to process the relationship because I don't know what was true and what wasn't. I am so confused.
Same and let me tell you something. You were right about everything. You’re amazing and beautiful. You were never the problem. It’s okay if it still hurts. Every pot has a lid. 💗🌼🙏🏼 I pray you get better love and find what you ever dreamed of.
Omg Lana! This is perfect timing. I'm going through a difficult heartbreak at the moment. We never became official bf/gf but we were like lovers. I fell for him but turned out I was just his rebound. The moment her ex showed up, his feelings for her instantly came back and all we had suddenly became nothing for him. What's even worse and heartbreaking was we were together earlier that day before his ex went to his house that night. It feels so devastating that it seems he's even considering to get back together with her and even though I wanna fight for him, I just couldn't cos I don't stand a chance. Us seeing each other for 2 months is just nothing compared to what they had for 7 years!! It felt like surrendering myself in a war. I love him so much but I had to make it easier for him because he said he doesn't know what to do, so with a heavy heart, I have to let him go.
You are so brave. Giving you a virtual hug right now coz I'm almost in the same situation as yours and also did the same of letting him (and myself) go of the crazy situation. We don't need to compete dearie. I believe all this pain will be rewarded with the right love tenfolds. One day we will meet that someone who constantly choose us without hesitations. Keep believing in the magic of life. ✨✨✨ Here's to strong women like us 🤗
@@carlieMD aww thank you! It has been really really difficult. There's not a single day that I don't cry and miss him. But I just always try to think that it's his loss, my gain. Even though I lost him, hopefully soon, I would gain a peace of mind and happiness. I admire you too for being strong and resilient. Keep your head up and keep loving yourself, dear. We'll get through this! 💖
Am in the exact same situation as yours but the thing is Nobody showed up , he ghosted me After being with me for 2 months . It hurts. For others it may seem like " it s just 2 months why do you feel so bad ? " Only those who experienced it know that it didn't feel like 2 months 💔
exactly when i needed this. i’ve been going through a tough time for quite a while now. this really helped and put things into perspective. thank you, lana. you never fail to amaze me.
OMG, this video could not come at a better moment. My bestfriend is going through a breakup right now. So happy I can share this with her & hopefully help her in her experience! Your videos are always super thoughtful & helpful. Thank you, Lana! 🤍 You are an inspiration to me since I started my youtube channel about selfcare recently. 🤍
When you said that some couples may be sleeping next to each other for the last time and they don’t even know it… I instantly started bawling. If I knew it was the last time, I would’ve held on even tighter
Dr Frank can make your ex come back to you for a second chance. He was the one who helped me restore back my broken relationship of 3 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Frank always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him
@@bryan1996dongo wow that's amazing to hear! Make sure you guys take it slow and always talk and have respect and compassion, or read articles.. I wish I did this when I got my second chance but he's gone now 😢
The pain is unbearable and I cannot comprehend it in words. There's a small part of me hoping she sees this but its very unlikely. I would give anything to just turn back time a few days and tell her sooner and apologize for what I didn't do. I know and I am fully willing to change and to be the person she needs but it doesn't look likely that she'll give me that chance. 2 years is no short feat and me being young and inexperienced, its the only true and real relationship I have ever known. To all others hurting right now, I wish you the best. I have no one to talk to or speak to because she was not only my partner, soulmate, best friend, and future wife and baby mother. She was everything and without her there is nothing. I know that if she gives us a chance her life will change for the better, but I cannot convince her or move her on that stance no matter how how hard I try.
Totally agree! Breakups are often portrayed oddly through movies or certain websites, and the advice they give isn’t quite the best at all. I think we should take breakups as a time to heal and reflect on ourselves rather than trying to make the other person feel a certain way if you get what I mean.
This is something I really needed. Today was their birthday which was so much more difficult than usual days and since it’s my first heartbreak I wasn’t sure how to deal with it and everyone’s words, although kind weren’t what I needed to hear. Thank you for this.
If you want to move on, you've got to address your emotions in a healthy way, acknowledge why things turned out the way that did and do internal fixing. Showing wouldn't do good to you nor them.
Wow. It's like you read my mind. I just recently had a relationship with my fiancé come to an end. So many up and down emotions and variables in life. Compounding stressors made everything so fragile. I would be lying if I said it wasn't tough to be separated but, I'm doing the best to focus on my well-being and self-preservation now. Right now it's about self-love and pursuing what is best for me. I'm controlling what I can control now and learning to move forward. It's a time for humility, stoicism, and self-reflection. Mentally. Physically. Spiritually. Career-wise. All of it. Thank you for the quality content. I feel like I was supposed to watch this video.
3:16 1- be human. 4:24 2- take control of your narrative. 7:45 3- commit to letting yourself feel just enough but not to where it consumes you. 9:03 4- unfold the past and get clarity
Break ups just feel a part of your life is over, and will always be missing now. But, as Lana stated, let’s shift the perspective to ‘how can I heal from this and grow’. It’s spot on.
I was feeling so bad today and i honestly had a breakdown before a test. We broke up last december and the emotions are starting to build up now :(( i really needed this thank you so much
out of all of the 10000 websites I have visited, this is the most refreshing take. They all seemed to make me want to act based on their actions and that is the most toxic thing
Even just at the start of your relation keep your expectations low and remain it in that way. If you break up recognize nothing will probably change that, think about how small you are in the universe, watch Carl Sagan Pale Blue Dot speech. Get up and never envy! Among the seven deadly sins, envy is the silliest because you don't feel better. Love yourself and never hurt yourself neither emotionally and physically. These are very good stoic ways to not to feel bad. Not just in relation, you can use them in every situation in life. By the way Lana, as always I very liked your video!
„There are probably many, many couples around the world sleeping next to eachother for the last time, and they might not even know it.“ that one hut so deep man.
My dear if you seriously want to recover ur relationship / get ex back or a specific person Mr williams is the best when it comes to recovery relationship, he recover mine and he can also help you
the worst feeling is when you're with someone and you give them your all, so when you actually break up, you feel like they took your all with them. its hard rebuilding yourself and having to rebuild your life without them.
Hi, get anyone you love or (SP) attracted to you and also get your Ex back coming to you begging you for a second Chance through the help of Dr BEN, he helped me restore my 5 years broken relationship also Dr BEN always keep up with his words, I will advise you seek his help thanks
This was exactly what I needed! The thing I find to be hard is getting over someone when they are a part of your friend group, you study with them at university. I lived with him, now I lost my dorm. But the thing I find the hardest to accept is that I lost myself in the relationship. Now being single I don't know who I am so it is hard to give yourself love when you don't know who you are. When he broke up he told me he still loved me but couldn't be in a relationship because we lost ourselves and it is hard to see that happen to yourself but also to the person you love. Soo not blaming yourself is a hard step for me. The same as not getting lost in thoughts of how I could've done better. And then you have to non stop hope that he will come back. Or he will regret this. Loved the video x
I'm past the stage of hoping she comes back, but I still struggle with guilt, shame, and feeling unlovable. I just have to keep telling myself "it takes two to tango" & that she failed in the relationship just as much as I did. Hope you make more positive progress in the coming weeks & months!
very wise words. as much i thought i was an independent person when i was with him, now that we broke up and just decided to be friends, i realized that i was in fact co dependent by him. i’m dealing with depression so i was happy only when i spent time with him. which is not an entirely bad thing, because if someone makes you happy it’s okay to feel happier with them, but i can’t be happy only when i’m with certain people. i need to be happy with my life always. when i’m alone and when i’m not. that when in the future i can find someone to be with that i truly love and not someone i depend on
@@Alex-ir5jt I'm responding five month after typing this, so I've gone through a process. What I can say is being friends won't help, it will open the wound over and over again. Finding yourself doesn't have to happen on your own. It can happen with friends, therapists. Our society has created this idea that we have to do everything on ourselves. I love Lana but she is very much an introvert and is perfectly fine with being alone. I am not. I need people to help me. To give me perspective. That doesn't mean you're not independent, it is a strong thing to know what might help you. And chosing to help yourself is an independent thing. And if the confrontation hurts to much at the moment, take it away. Write it out, cry it out. You will be fine. We are whole on ourselves. But remove yourself of what's hurting you. And that is your ex. Believe in the fact that other things might happen and give you love. It is like looking at paintings, we find one we adore and think we never will find something this beautiful. We get stuck in that artistic vision but when we get out of it, we see different beautiful paintings that are different but we might love as much yet in a different way ❤️
It's been almost 2 months since my breakup and not going to lie I have been feeling so great. I feel like a new person. I think this breakup was so needed!! At first, I was devastated but I have manipulated that sadness into greatness and have been really take care of myself.
Hi, beautiful analysis. Pain plays a fundamental role in life. Ending a relationship, for whatever reason, is an excellent opportunity for us to learn to deal with our emotional resources. I believe that, in certain circumstances, love does not end. However, it needs to be reframed, gaining new horizons. Another detail: I see that it is common to speak negatively about the ex-partner. This is cowardice. Everyone owes respect to the other. Otherwise, they will be disrespecting their own history.
I agree, It is very important to learn from failed relationships. Otherwise you are more likely to keep on attracting the same type of relationships in the future. Keeping your head in the sand is a recipe for future heartache 😢
It’s such a tough part of life, but ultimately makes room for what was meant to be. I really liked the’ rewording’ part. That can be beneficial in many aspects of life.
For me break ups, which should be precious few, have always been a time of serious moral reflection. And a time to examine my own flawed history in order to correct whatever I did that was a problem. And it always is the sign of a deeper issue that needs to be seriously and honestly addressed.
Priority should be yourself (not in a selfish way)! You will never find love until you find love within yourself! A relationship is meant to grow together with that person, not to them on a pedestal! Society feeds the wrong info!
I really like how you shift our perspective into new one. The way you speak and the content of your word really reflect your inner soul. Thank you, Lana.
An off-topic comment coming from someone who has never dated before but, I needed to say that your hair in this video looks absolutely great on you Lana! 😘❤️
1.26 in and this video again reminds me that I LOVE LANA. A breath of fresh air. Sometimes I feel like my thoughts and perspective is so far from those I interact with, but then I found Lana and the people in these comments. I don’t feel as alone anymore ❤️
my boyfriend just broke up with me on our anniversary so here i am watching all the videos about heartbreak that i can find online he was my first true love, this was my first serious relationship, and i've gone through all the day without breaking down and feeling that i've got this but then lana said "at this moment, there are probably many, many couples around the world sleeping next to each other for the last time, and they might not even know it" and now i'm ugly sobbing i'm not ready to sleep alone but god give me strength i will be able to if it isn't the time to reinvent myself i don't know when it will come
Thanks Lana 😕 my heart was aching so much and I got carried away with depression but watching this video really made me feel a little better. It’s weird how this heartbreak can make me fall physically ill and I’ve been stuck at home for the past 3 weeks. Really appreciate your video and the talk made me feel human again. Salute you, Lana 💯
I'm going through the break up from my first love. What helps me is remembering that literally over a billion people went through similar pain and that they recovered from it. So if they did, you can do the same too. I believe in you, it will be painful but one day, the pain will go away. Good luck, remember who you are, I believe in you
My ex-girlfriend got engaged two months after our break-up and we've been talking for over a year. I've learned so much within these two months despite her talking to someone else, my emotions, how people think and feel, and the building block of a strong mindset. I'm finishing this year off strong so I can enter college easily without too much struggle, I hope everyone who reads this takes the time to understand themselves more. (We're all here for a reason)
I am proud to be the type of person who takes ..... This line changed my thought process , I was blaming myself struggling with the situation of not getting any value from other person , but now my perspective is completely changed , I am proud to be me , I have lost nothing , but the other person has lost a complete human being who was completely his only and I had lost the negativity that even doesn't belong to me
this year has been so game-changing for me. I've realized taking time for yourself and letting yourself feel what u need is key. also, understand that no matter the circumstance breakups are ALWAYS hard and uncomfortable. U need that step back to understand your life is changing and it's about to get different than what you've been used to. Although it doesn't mean it will suck, sometimes you're opening space for better things to come along. For me, it all revolves around listening to your needs at this phase and letting yourself heal.
It’s been 3 months since the breakup for me. I’ve taken steps to improve myself and I’m really happy with my progress, of who I’m becoming. I just wish she was here to see it. I just miss having her in my life.
So helpful! And definitely agree at the start we should let ourselves feel and not put too much pressure to seem like you're great. The best thing that also helped me was journaling if you didn't already before the breakup but do it as much as you feel like it. A lot of the times I sorted of addressed what I was writing to my ex partner and helped me see things with a lot more clarity. This is such a great video Lana!!😊💛
I'm proud to the type of person who takes loyalty and commitment seriously. But I've learned that it can be a weakness of mine because i tolerate more than i should"
Regardless of who initiates a breakup or if it’s a mutual decision, it can be a pretty traumatic experience. Here is some (mostly) practical advice (please fill in!):
1. Don’t stalk their social media. If you feel the need to, unfollow them and/or block them. Don’t wonder “what they’ll think” - remember, you’re doing this for you.
2. Don’t look at your photos together etc., unless you’re at a mental state where you can do it as “therapy” or where you can look at them only to genuinely appreciate the time you had together. It’s ok to get rid of everything if you want to, it’s also ok to keep it. :) (unless you have any “private” photos of them, then you delete them out of respect.
3. Don’t get comfortable in your sadness, guilt or whatever you’re feeling. If you are, talk to someone about it.
4. Listening to music that you can relate to at the moment is helpful for some people. Test the waters. If it makes you feel worse, don’t listen to it.
5. Don’t compare your healing journey to anyone else’s.
7. No one will ever fully understand what you’re going through - don’t blame them for it. Just like you’ll never fully understand what someone else is going through. That’s the beauty of relationships, it’s unique for the people involved. It’s also what can make it difficult to move on.
6. Be grateful that you’re a human who got to feel love! How cool is that?! What even is it?! I can’t see it, can’t tough it, yet here I am feeling all these things. Woho! I’m alive!
7. Yes, it didn’t last, but neither do some of your favorite meals or the trips you’ve been on - that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t appreciate it for the time they lasted. (note for point 6&7: again, every relationship is different, and I know people go through horribly traumatizing relationships where someone telling them to be grateful can be absolutely maddening. Please seek out someone to talk to if this is you. You deserve healing.
8. Change your ringtone.
9. Don’t numb the pain, deal with it. Alc*hol, dr*gs, meaningless s*x-those things are unhealthy and it’s not dealing with what’s going on.
10. Remind yourself that what you’re feeling is a universal feeling.
11. It might feel like you’re dying, you’re not.
12. It gets better, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
13. There is a reason the two of you ended, regardless of how many excuses you try to make up for how “maybe” you could’ve made it work “if ony xyz”. Well, you didn’t.
15. People often act out of selfishness, it’s our nature. Most things aren’t as personal as we think.
16. Breakups normally happen because one- or two-people’s needs weren’t met. Sometimes it’s fair, sometimes it really isn’t. But fair or not-it is what it is. Life isn’t fair at all and love and relationships are no exception.
17. You give yourself closure.
18. I wrote this whole thing right before posting, so excuse any grammar.
19. Love is the most beautiful thing, remember that. :)
I can relate you forgot to mention how we keep blaming either ourselves or someone else I did that. It really hits your self esteem and yes it do feel like your are dying and you can't it's ughh awful remembering it makes me scary
This is all SPOT ON 🙌
It truly is
And it's been 7 months now since my break up and I thought I'll be alright but it's still raw and crazy😥
19 points of wisdom
When it's over, it's over. Some people can't comprehend that. The day i lost both my parents 17 months apart, i realized that life is too short to stress over a break up.
It’s weird how heartbreak can make you feel physically ill
Yes true
Just DTFA.
I had developed a whole eating disorder. Didn’t even realize it until after break up when i started to eat better. Still working on it.
right, its so weird and so painful.
I swear I haven’t eaten a proper meal in almost a year 😨😨😨 it’s crazy
btw you won't notice the process of healing. One day you just realize that you haven't cried in a while.
So true!!! Thought about this today, you just don’t feel hurt anymore.
one day i was smiling instead of crying, looking at the pictures... yes it's sad that it didn't work with the person whom i'd thought to be "the one" but we had good times together and i accepted the fact that it had to end. so that we can find the right people for us, instead of forcing what we had. still doesn't explain why i smiled tho, but i did.
@Bryan Max lolll no thanks hahahahaha
@@pelinyarba they are scammers glad you didn’t fall for it
That's so true. Recently tho I found myself crying again
“You are having a funeral for someone who is still living” holy shit that is the perfect way to describe it ...
My dear if you want help to get your ex back.
Message me on WhatsApp
+1️⃣(9️⃣1️⃣4️⃣)2️⃣0️⃣6️⃣4️⃣0️⃣8️⃣5️⃣.
And I will direct you to someone who can help you bring back your ex.
@@nicolasbarros4507 I don’t have an ex, just thought that was the perfect description for breakups
It sucks when you realise how the people we loved once become strangers again
It really does. It reminds me of the Hemmingway quote: "when two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it." But we can enjoy it and appreciate it while it's still here. Wishing you well, and that we can all find the strength to love again, and as openheartedly as ever before
A good one and so true 😕
This is the most upsetting thing. We were together 5 years. Then nothing 😔
So true
"How people can change
From strangers to friends
Friends into lovers
And strangers again"
- Celeste, Strange
Letting go is the sign of believing our selves that we deserve best. And...Breakup is not the ending of a love story, it's new beginning. Let them go.
thank you
@Precious Diamond yes it sometimes is
I love that....its a new love story💌
What if breakups happens to you all the time and the people that always comes to your life is always temporary and again breakups scenarios happen again and again. I believe love is not for all I'm not tired and i don't lose my hopes but I'm done and i will keep it that way
Yeah I think its the best. But right after the breakup its often very hard to forget someone. My last breakup was very hurting, I don´t know if I will ever get over it. But maybe its better to begin new and love myself more..
The worst part about a breakup is when you understand all the theories and the steps that you need to take to move on and why you need to take them, but you can’t bring yourself to actually implement them or be consistent with them because of several psychological reasons...
Same 😭
And specially the loneliness that kicks every single time you try to move ahead
My mind has a whole list of reasons of why it wasn't meant to be & recognizes how awful she's been to me since she left... but that still doesn't stop my poor, shattered heart from filling my eyes with tears from time to time. When it happens, though, I try to remember to thank God for my pain because she did mean so much to me & it was an amazing blessing to have her in my life for quite some time.
@@spk1121 I agree with you. I feel now the same.
It takes time to heal . And it's also about our willingness to let go . Some of us aren't just ready yet .
Some things i wish i didn't do after breakup.
1. Keeping in contact with the person
2. Thinking of getting back together
3. Trying to make less of the actual situations that happened and led to break up
4. Hoping the person would change
Is not easy to un-love someone but with time i am sure things will get better. Focus more on your self-improvement and do what you gotta do!
I wish I was strong enough to cut contact. I’m constantly checking my phone to see if he called.
Thank you!! I’m trying to get over a crush/infatuation I had with a guy and I’ll keep these points in mind :)
@@lovelyrita4953 me too. Happened 2 weeks ago and I feel numb. I don't know what to do. She just said she moved on, I'm so confused on what that means I thought we were doing great. I feel like I'll never find anyone like her again. Help.
I'm in that phase rn :'(
these are exactly the things I wish I would have done.
*Breakup is not a single event* - it’s a culmination of ongoing underlying problems, symptoms, that were neglected or unrecognised
so true
*Truth.* I realize now just how often I justified certain things &/or buried my head in the sand. And she did the same, I'm sure. I wish I had been more honest with myself, yet at the same time, I couldn't even fathom the idea of letting her go. It's been extremely tough, but also a(n) (painfully) enlightening journey this year.
@@spk1121 Pain is the best teacher
@@spk1121 my thoughts exactly... Thank you for this comment
So true...
Breakups are tough, but the thing that keeps me going is knowing how fine and content I was with life before meeting them. Things get better in time.
This is rare advice but real. It’s the best advice I’ve heard in my opinion.
but he made me happier
Thanks for sharing that thought. I really needed to read this
Wish I could relate to that. I suffered major depression (still do ofc) and they were the one thing that helped me dealing with it or just feeling less alone / positive thing in my life💀💀💀💀
but I wasn't
Healing is an art. It takes time. It takes practice. It takes self-love.
Exactly!
The worst feeling is that 2 seconds after waking up in the morning. The remembering hits your heart like a train 💔💔💔
going thru it rn :/
“I am a person who takes commitment seriously and I’m proud of that, but I’ve realised that this is the reason why I’ve stayed in damaging for me relations.” - this is exactly what I needed today. Thank you so much, Lana.
I can relate to that.
It is difficult, just as we are as human beings. We are complex and imperfect, therefore relationships will be like that. The only we can do is to try our best, learn more about it and be well meaning and of course have values.
Me too!! I am so loyal I stay when they hurt me. Because that’s what a good lover does they don’t give up on the other person. It would be awesome is she just loved me back. That one. Im
It was helpful.
This is my new job interview answer for "worst trait" lol
I remember the most painful breakup I had in college. I use to walk 4-5km from home to school then school to my home. I did that for a couple of months to kill time because when I stay still time seems to be stagnant which adds more suffering. So walking helped me move on literally.
Thank you so much for this
@@LadyLitka for What?
“Remove expectations from people and you will remove their powers to hurt your feelings. If you don’t like something, just take it away, it’s only power is your attention.” 💫
❤
👏👏👏
Lol it's easier said that done. When you care you expect that care back.
Luv ya bro
@Christina ❣️, truly it's true. What's also true is that the heart is resilient and has strength beyond what we may currently perceive.
Do believe in fate and have faith in the universe, almighty or universal intelligence. Every happens for us and not too us.
We often deceive ourselves into feeling more pain than necessary. This not being said to invalidate our feelings. We are all human, we're all emotional beings. And not everything is logical or rational. Logic or rationalism can never be an end goal. Nor can irrationalism.
There are many things we can wrap our heads around and some things we can't. There are many things we can try to derive a better meaning from.
My heart goes out to your Christina. I wish my few words places some fire in yours. Really.
Take it one day at a time, don't be too hard on yourself. We can only but do our best❤️
Breakups are so weird. the relationship, the bond that you've built over a time, just ends in a day or a moment like someone meant so much to you at one time, doesn't mean anything now on?!!! like how does that happen.. it's too hard for me to let go, i can't or idk i won't maybe?! ahhhh 😭
My wife told me she was leaving me about a year ago & I was/am absolutely heartbroken. Over time, though, I've come to realize just how much I tried to justify certain behaviors &/or all the times I buried my head in the sand. I desperately hoped we were simply experiencing a rough patch, but it's obvious in hindsight that she was pulling away. It didn't happen out of the blue, as utterly shocking as it was at the time.
As a counselor told me, "Sometimes, even though it really, really sucks, you have to live with other people's choices & adjust accordingly." _Way_ easier said than done, but there's truth in this statement. I still shed tears nearly everyday, so I'm not pretending I've got my act together, but you do slowly start to realize some important things about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. I cry much less than I used to, so I consider that a victory. In the end, all we can do is wish them well & then do right by ourselves in the days to come.
@@spk1121 I think it doesn't matter what you would have done, it would have ended regardless. You can't convince someone to stay. They will sabotage and do whatever is necessary to justify. They will make it impossible for you to resolve things.
@@hgzmatt: What a coincidence! I was thinking earlier today that even if I had done everything optimally on my end, it would have only delayed the inevitable a little while. Very interesting that you wrote this not long before! And yes, that's why I was saying I buried my head in the sand so many times. I wanted so desperately to believe things were misunderstandings rather than what you described. At least I'll know better in the future.
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@@angelinacarlson7628: Uhh... Thanks, but no thanks. Not interested in witchcraft in any way, shape, or form.
"Who are sleeping together for the last time" damn that cut deep. I had no idea the night before I was blindsided by my breakup
Same bro... We slept together last time and then she broke up with me after few months... It sucks... I didn't know it was the last time we'll be sleeping together.
The first rule of love is to learn to love yourself, if you cannot love yourself, you cannot love anyone else
I believe this.
❤
This can't be stressed enough.
People with depression or mental health issues which are having a hard time loving themselves are still valid and deserve to get loved so I do not agree with that.
Horse shit. People love people who don’t love themselves.......and you can love something greater than yourself or without loving yourself very much. What is the point of creating these unnecessary stipulations for starting up a relationship? You’re just limiting yourself. Relationship are all individually decided upon. Create your own terms and conditions with your partner and stop over generalizing. No one is ever “complete” for whole. Stop waiting and hoping for shit that won’t likely happen and just be who you are.
Breakups are hard, make you feel miserable and give you a lot of self doubt. However, they also teach us so much about ourselves and help us grow more than we ever thought we could. For everyone going through a breakup, stand strong because things will get better, I promise ☺️
Thank you.
@@pelinyarba how are you doing? 🤔
@@ThreeTwentyTech horrible tbh. I wake up and can’t go back to sleep because of my thoughts, can’t eat. I can’t do my assignments. The worst part is that I know that we shouldn’t get back together and he wouldn’t want to anyways because he can be logical, but I keep thinking about how we could get better and fix our issues. I think about our good memories like we never even had bad ones and get sad.
@@ThreeTwentyTech also i’m 24 but this is my first breakup where i still have feelings for the other person and i’m sadly romanticising the past and i think we can get better if both of us tried, but he doesn’t want to, due to his personal problems.
@@pelinyarba If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. I know it can be hard because I've been through similar experiences but it's something we all have to deal with, unfortunately. Let me know if you need someone to talk to!
There is a HUGE difference in the experience of a breakup for the person that initiated it versus the experience of the person that didn't initiate it or want it. Its much harder on the one that didn't initiate it and it takes far longer for them to recover.
True
I think that that really depends
I actually broke up with my bf and it hurt so much because I had to realize that he wasn’t going to change. As much as I loved him and wanted this change I had to come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t going to do it. And I feel like I’m hurting worse than him.
@@luckyduck_. Change HOW?? Questions. Who are you to dictate how and why and what he needs to change? Did you take your time getting to know him, in the first place? You broke up with him all I hear is that you gave up. I don't know the details but what do you mean change? Did you change? Anything that he wanted you to change and you didn't?
@@christopherthomas8421 it’s so funny because you’re speaking on a relationship you know nothing about. When you keep hearing lies and false promises of changing you get tired. No, I am not going to stick around with someone who is not changing themselves for the better and instead want to wallow in their misery. I’m not obligated to be with someone and wait for them to change. Call it what you want but I realized my worth and got tf out before he could drag me down with him. And I feel amazing.
The best way I can describe my heartbreak is like being homesick when I was a child.
You have to remind yourself that you will find home elsewhere eventually
I recommend you to a great man who can help you manifest whatever you wanna manifest🥰🥰
He helped me bring back my ex permanently few days ago, without any delay, after six(6) years of separation🥰🥰
Breakups are hard but the recovery period is so transforming spiritually! Well said every point in dealing with it, Lana.
U mind checking out my videos?
Hello, I recommend you to Dr Ezekiel, he was the one who helped me restore my 6 years broken relationship, he can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. Also, Dr Ezekiel always keep to his promise. I will advice you seek his help thanks.
Message him on Whatsapp
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Breakups are so strange: I was with someone for two years and when things ended I moved on right away and carried on with my life feeling just fine. My latest relationship lasted less than a month and here I am, a month later, still so heartbroken and stuck it hurts.
You a lap switcher be a leader in your life instead of a dummy
MG11 lol what. ”lap switcher” I was single for two years in between those two 🙄
Lucky me i'm not alone apparently
You'll be ok..give yourself time to heal💕
These feelings can overpower us if we let them
I suspect you had time to process that the first relationship wasn't truly right, even if you didn't initiate the breakup. With the second relationship, you may have felt a genuine connection & are not only despondent over this loss, but also deeply mourning the lost potential, i.e. "what could have been." I can completely relate with this, believe me! The lack of time to process & cutting off the positive growth so abruptly probably contribute to your current feelings. Hang in there, hope you start to feel better soon!
"Pain makes you stronger, fear makes you braver, heartbreak makes you wiser."❤️🙏selfhelpchampion
The timing is ✨perfect✨
I hope it helps :)
Time has its own power 💐💫✨
Me too
Same...
We’re all living the same life I guess
"I am proud to be the type of person who takes loyalty and commitment seriously but I learned that it can be a weakness of mine because I tolerate more than I should. So now, I've learned that my well being comes before all of that" 💯perfect reframe, thank you
My dear if you want help to get your ex back
Message me on WhatsApp.
+1️⃣(9️⃣1️⃣4️⃣)2️⃣0️⃣6️⃣4️⃣0️⃣8️⃣5️⃣
And I will direct you to someone who can help you bring back your ex
@@colinmorgan6439 LMAO No thanks
Therapist: Expensive
Lana's channel: Free and helpful
It's been three months since we broke up, but the pain is still unbearable.
Will take months :')
How you doing now?
How are you today?
Remember is a process of healing! Take your time but try doing productive stuff each day no matter how little it is step-by-step.
Are you ok
I’m hurting as well just happened and I don’t know what to do
Yes! The focus has to be on healing yourself - sometimes that means lying in bed and eating chocolate and sometimes that means going out and living your best life. It’s all about following your intuition
Too many people nowadays are not necessarily in love with the person, but more in love with the idea of love, and so they cling onto anyone they can. Do not seek out relationships, they will come naturally when you are ready. A good relationship is a product of a good life, not the other way around.
Easier said than done. And if you never meet available people you are not going to find. I'd like to believe in fate and magical powers but my life is too precious to wait around for that.
How is it that some people just find someone early and then that's it? Because they somehow live the perfect life and are ready? Oh please.. I have my issues, like everyone else.. and they aren't somehow more complete than I am.
@@hgzmatt I agree with you, I'm just warning against falling in love for the sake of simply having someone
Just broke up 2 days ago. You’re right, it is very weird to share someone’s life one moment then to be completely strangers the next. I felt disposed of, felt used, but I also knew from the beginning there was just something different in the both of us that I wasn’t sure would hold us together. I guess its a process but I’m slowly starting to accept both the good and the bad that came out of this relationship. Thanks Lana.
I know of a powerful man who can make your ex to come back to you begging you back for a second chance.
He was the one who brought back my ex within 48 hours
What''sapp him
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my dear let me introduce to you Dr usifoh who help me bring back my ex after many months of separation
On WhatsApp message him and me later
Don’t blame yourself for the breakup or the other person’s behavior. It feeds a vicious cycle of self-loathing and frustration.
Unproductive self-blaming is different from learning based on that experience: identify unhealthy patterns, prioritize self-improvement, and avoid seeing someone as a primary source of attention/validation. If we pay enough attention to ourselves, we won’t be deliberately looking for it elsewhere.
how do i stop blaming myself? please help me
@@pieckfinger7169 do that by forgiving yourself first whether you are the victim or the criminal because once you do that you'll start the first step in becoming better.
I'm going through the same right now but I'm still hanging on hope
Thank you for this advice.
@@christopherthomas8421 You’re welcome. As with any worthy pursuit, this takes time and mindfulness to practice. But it is possible to overcome old patterns.
I needed this, thank you so much.
Don’t mind me... I’m just here to boost that algorithm so we can help Lana thrive
ahhh haha bless you
😂😂😂😂😂😂
#truefan
To everyone : who passed this phase "we're the survivors"
😍🧚♀️
M going through from this phase ,it's been 4 months now but still it's still very tough
@@pavingmyway3428 4 months? 😩 I can’t do it for another 3 months
@@maddiebrown1405 Hug you girl....you can do it...its tough but not impossible, just invest Ur time in exploring urself and practice self love,M doing the same...sending u lots of love and courage.
@@pavingmyway3428 thank you! Same goes for you. I just can’t imagine doing this much longer
It's the *fantasy we create in our heads* about the relationship that ends up being the toughest thing to let go, but it shall be done.💃❤
Thank you!
Hear, hear! I've been realizing more & more that I've been clinging to my rose-colored perceptions of my former wife, not the woman she truly was/is. Very tough to reconcile, but necessary to move fwd.
Im really this bored w/ myself. I wasnt in a r ship. Just had a crush. When drama occured from it, i decided to tell a higher up about it. I think i started off w/ theres this guy ive been talking to here. And 🤔 i cant even quote me word for word but she was like tyler? My head: 😅 they really dont pay that much attention to us. Phew. But um whos tyler? Bc he must be showing weird interest in me given the context i mentioned. :/ I was like ? Idk who tyler is. Then proceeded rambling on. Is tyler cute or a weirdo 🤔
Hi, get anyone you love or (SP) attracted to you. And also get your EX back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Steve, he helped me restore my 5 years broken relationship. Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words, I will advise you seek his help thanks.
Message him on Whatsapp
After nearly 7 years of dating, two months ago I found out my ex was cheating on me for a month. It was the most pain I ever felt in my life. But looking back, I realized I had codependency issues. So I went cold turkey, changed my number, blocked her, and I feel significantly better two months later. You are valuable. Love yourself, and learn to feel your feelings, not someone else's. Thank you Lana for this video.
How are you feeling now?
Thank you, Lana. 10-11 months ago I wouldn't have been able to watch these kinds of videos and would have been wallowing in my own pain. Today I'm proud of myself for allowing me to feel. For anyone reading this, things are looking up. I can't say that everything has changed to how I felt before, but when you go that deep, the only thing left is to go up. I promise you
My ex came back to me a few days ago ❤️ I got help from a Relationship Restorer Dr Steve who was able to mend back my broken relationship and make my ex to come back and beg for a second chance. He can bring your ex back
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Anyone feel like they just genuinely cant go on without someone... Im here for anyone who wants to talk x
my dear let me introduce to you dr usifoh who help me bring back my ex after many months of separation
On WhtsApp message him
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I wanna talk!
i feel like i cant forget him
The worst part of a breakup is that the person now makes the next person pay for what the ex or ex’s did to them.
Some people let their experiences with one or two people affect the entire rest of their life. Very sad. You cannot “fix” everyone. You have to fix yourself.
Don’t bring the mental baggage to the new person.
They are a new person and have zero to do with an ex
I told my ex to treat the next female better than me. Yeah, im that fn female
what do you mean do you have an example?
I wish I saw your comment when I was still with her
“It might feel like you’re dying; you’re not.” 😂
This struck through! And this message is so uplifting, by the way. 🤍✨
My dear if you want help to get your ex back.
Message me on WhatsApp
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And I will direct you to someone who can help you bring back your ex.
I broke up with my ex about 3 weeks ago and there are some days that i feel like i need to talk to him to rant and because i miss him a lot. But i never talked to him because i know that i need to get over him and i need to detach my feelings for him. Thank you lana for your tips ♡
You're strong :)
@@fatimafasey581 thank you ♡
I know of someone that can help you get your ex back if you really want him back
Yes but YOU broke up with HIM! You(females) have a breakup mindset. He didn’t break up with you. Let the record show that YOU were the one to give up. How can you miss him but yet make the dec to force him away?
@@fatimafasey581 she isn’t strong? You don’t know any details. She gets this 💩 advice from you and everyone else and never develops the character to make a relationship work and put the effort in.
Did you ask him to see a relationship expert before giving up? 99, no 100% Sure that you didn’t! You just gave up as the “victim “ didn’t you?
Allow yourself to really feel what you are feeling instead of worrying about how you appear through their eyes is the best breakup advice I've ever heard. So much great advice here, thank you! ❤🌹
Break ups are often the best lessons in how you are in a relationship, who you are seeking out and can be a great opportunity to grow both personally and in your next relationship 🙌
Yup
Sometimes we're tempted to say, "I wasted so much time with this person." But it's only a waste if we say so. Even if that person hurt us repeatedly, there is something about ourselves we can learn. What did we miss and why? What do we now know we will and won't put up with? How much stronger am I than I was before I met this person?
Kristy Arnett . Ur saying absolutely right .
You are so right. I kept blaming myself for trusting that if we overcame everything for 8 years, we would be together our entire life, but he fell out of love, and I kept saying this was such a waste of time, but no, I learned a lot about myself, I worked much more on this relationship, I am actually proud I overcame so many obstacles within myself to help this relationship. He did not know how to appreciate that, but I will learn to love again...
@@neti5279 ❤️❤️❤️ you will be fine
Escaping your own emotions and not allowing yourself feel the pain only transfers the emotion long-term. Thanks for sharing.
Hi, get anyone you love or (SP) attracted to you. And also get your EX back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Steve, he helped me restore my 5 years broken relationship. Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words, I will advise you seek his help thanks.
Message him on Whatsapp
Hi, get anyone you love or (SP) attracted to you. And also get your EX back coming to you begging you for a second chance through the help of Dr Steve, he helped me restore my 5 years broken relationship. Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words, I will advise you seek his help thanks.
As an INFJ, I wish if I had seen this 5 months ago. I had the worst breakup ever and read tons of online articles and listened to friends' advice but all they had to say was what you said in the 1st part of your video.
The rest of your video is actually what I need.
Welcome to the fucked up world of infjs, mee too... after 10 years i got dumped too
@@TimeWaveOfficial Shit, I hope you're ok, although I know it's hard to be even "ok". But you'll get through this, you're strong, random stranger👍
I went through four breakups in the last ten years and I can admit that it's important to take the time you need after the breakup. Wether it's a few months or a few years, you will feel it when the time is right to go on dates again. And I really cherish my single time, when I can do whatever I want.
This must be a breakup season cause all youtube recommend me are all breakup videos.
😂🤣true my breakup is near lol
I think I was dating a narcissist and now I don't even know how to process the relationship because I don't know what was true and what wasn't. I am so confused.
Same... like was it all a lie???
@@joviedwards1064 yes, it was lol
Same and let me tell you something. You were right about everything. You’re amazing and beautiful. You were never the problem. It’s okay if it still hurts. Every pot has a lid. 💗🌼🙏🏼 I pray you get better love and find what you ever dreamed of.
@@salenamchughdelgado1536 you're so lovely! thanks, I wish you the same
No shit me too.. I miss him but im deeply confused 😕
“If you don't love yourself, nobody will. Not only that, you won't be good at loving anyone else. Loving starts with the self.”
❤
that’s facts
So true!
that is really true, we need love ourselves first, if we love ourselves we can love somebody else too.
My dear if you want help to get your ex back
Omg Lana! This is perfect timing. I'm going through a difficult heartbreak at the moment. We never became official bf/gf but we were like lovers. I fell for him but turned out I was just his rebound. The moment her ex showed up, his feelings for her instantly came back and all we had suddenly became nothing for him. What's even worse and heartbreaking was we were together earlier that day before his ex went to his house that night. It feels so devastating that it seems he's even considering to get back together with her and even though I wanna fight for him, I just couldn't cos I don't stand a chance. Us seeing each other for 2 months is just nothing compared to what they had for 7 years!! It felt like surrendering myself in a war. I love him so much but I had to make it easier for him because he said he doesn't know what to do, so with a heavy heart, I have to let him go.
You are so brave. Giving you a virtual hug right now coz I'm almost in the same situation as yours and also did the same of letting him (and myself) go of the crazy situation. We don't need to compete dearie. I believe all this pain will be rewarded with the right love tenfolds. One day we will meet that someone who constantly choose us without hesitations. Keep believing in the magic of life. ✨✨✨
Here's to strong women like us 🤗
@@carlieMD aww thank you! It has been really really difficult. There's not a single day that I don't cry and miss him. But I just always try to think that it's his loss, my gain. Even though I lost him, hopefully soon, I would gain a peace of mind and happiness. I admire you too for being strong and resilient. Keep your head up and keep loving yourself, dear. We'll get through this! 💖
😭😭
Am in the exact same situation as yours but the thing is Nobody showed up , he ghosted me After being with me for 2 months . It hurts. For others it may seem like " it s just 2 months why do you feel so bad ? " Only those who experienced it know that it didn't feel like 2 months 💔
Those boys always go back to their ex
I broke up with him yesterday 🙂
exactly when i needed this. i’ve been going through a tough time for quite a while now. this really helped and put things into perspective. thank you, lana. you never fail to amaze me.
I'm here for you
OMG, this video could not come at a better moment. My bestfriend is going through a breakup right now. So happy I can share this with her & hopefully help her in her experience! Your videos are always super thoughtful & helpful. Thank you, Lana! 🤍 You are an inspiration to me since I started my youtube channel about selfcare recently. 🤍
Best thing after a break up? Focus on your self and level up ❤️
It's very hard to move on because I was holding on the picture in my head that can't be manifested but everything happens for a reason.
When you said that some couples may be sleeping next to each other for the last time and they don’t even know it… I instantly started bawling. If I knew it was the last time, I would’ve held on even tighter
I can refer you to a man who helped me get my ex back in 48 hours
WhatsApp him now
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Dr Frank can make your ex come back to you for a second chance. He was the one who helped me restore back my broken relationship of 3 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Frank always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him
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Just got broken up with. It hurts so much, but I hope to come back to this video in years time when I’m healed feeling stronger and wiser.
Did months do any good?
@@bryan1996dongo how are you now
@@naiko6700 still hurting because we still work together but sooo much better! Time definitely helps, check again in 2 months 😂
@@bryan1996dongo wow that's amazing to hear! Make sure you guys take it slow and always talk and have respect and compassion, or read articles.. I wish I did this when I got my second chance but he's gone now 😢
update?
The pain is unbearable and I cannot comprehend it in words. There's a small part of me hoping she sees this but its very unlikely. I would give anything to just turn back time a few days and tell her sooner and apologize for what I didn't do. I know and I am fully willing to change and to be the person she needs but it doesn't look likely that she'll give me that chance. 2 years is no short feat and me being young and inexperienced, its the only true and real relationship I have ever known. To all others hurting right now, I wish you the best. I have no one to talk to or speak to because she was not only my partner, soulmate, best friend, and future wife and baby mother. She was everything and without her there is nothing. I know that if she gives us a chance her life will change for the better, but I cannot convince her or move her on that stance no matter how how hard I try.
How’re you holding up, Jordan?
Thank you! This was much needed ❤️
@Saurav Sinha so true😢🌼
@Bryan Max 🤨
Totally agree! Breakups are often portrayed oddly through movies or certain websites, and the advice they give isn’t quite the best at all. I think we should take breakups as a time to heal and reflect on ourselves rather than trying to make the other person feel a certain way if you get what I mean.
This is something I really needed. Today was their birthday which was so much more difficult than usual days and since it’s my first heartbreak I wasn’t sure how to deal with it and everyone’s words, although kind weren’t what I needed to hear.
Thank you for this.
Hello, I can refer you to someone who helped me out in getting back with my ex lover. He's the best when it come to recovery of broken relationships.
Text me on WhatsApp to know more about how he helped me, in getting back with my ex
He can also help you out too.
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If you want to move on, you've got to address your emotions in a healthy way, acknowledge why things turned out the way that did and do internal fixing. Showing wouldn't do good to you nor them.
Wow. It's like you read my mind. I just recently had a relationship with my fiancé come to an end. So many up and down emotions and variables in life. Compounding stressors made everything so fragile. I would be lying if I said it wasn't tough to be separated but, I'm doing the best to focus on my well-being and self-preservation now. Right now it's about self-love and pursuing what is best for me. I'm controlling what I can control now and learning to move forward. It's a time for humility, stoicism, and self-reflection.
Mentally. Physically. Spiritually. Career-wise. All of it.
Thank you for the quality content. I feel like I was supposed to watch this video.
I understand you Elliet...
This has by far been the most helpful advice I’ve heard on how to get through a break up. Thank you.
3:16
1- be human.
4:24
2- take control of your narrative.
7:45
3- commit to letting yourself feel just enough but not to where it consumes you.
9:03
4- unfold the past and get clarity
Break ups just feel a part of your life is over, and will always be missing now. But, as Lana stated, let’s shift the perspective to ‘how can I heal from this and grow’. It’s spot on.
I was feeling so bad today and i honestly had a breakdown before a test. We broke up last december and the emotions are starting to build up now :(( i really needed this thank you so much
hello do you need help on how to get your ex back or restore someone you love
there is a love specialist who helped me get my ex back after 2years of divorce
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Do you need help? To fix. your broken relationship?
He helped me not quite long. and I got my husband who left me over two years ago within 48 hour's
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Even just at the start of your relation keep your expectations low and remain it in that way. If you break up recognize nothing will probably change that, think about how small you are in the universe, watch Carl Sagan Pale Blue Dot speech. Get up and never envy! Among the seven deadly sins, envy is the silliest because you don't feel better. Love yourself and never hurt yourself neither emotionally and physically. These are very good stoic ways to not to feel bad. Not just in relation, you can use them in every situation in life. By the way Lana, as always I very liked your video!
„There are probably many, many couples around the world sleeping next to eachother for the last time, and they might not even know it.“ that one hut so deep man.
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My dear if you seriously want to recover ur relationship / get ex back or a specific person
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the worst feeling is when you're with someone and you give them your all, so when you actually break up, you feel like they took your all with them. its hard rebuilding yourself and having to rebuild your life without them.
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This was exactly what I needed!
The thing I find to be hard is getting over someone when they are a part of your friend group, you study with them at university. I lived with him, now I lost my dorm. But the thing I find the hardest to accept is that I lost myself in the relationship. Now being single I don't know who I am so it is hard to give yourself love when you don't know who you are. When he broke up he told me he still loved me but couldn't be in a relationship because we lost ourselves and it is hard to see that happen to yourself but also to the person you love. Soo not blaming yourself is a hard step for me. The same as not getting lost in thoughts of how I could've done better. And then you have to non stop hope that he will come back. Or he will regret this.
Loved the video x
Hey I'm going through the exact same thing. It's like you just typed out my thoughts. I hope we get through this ❤️
I'm past the stage of hoping she comes back, but I still struggle with guilt, shame, and feeling unlovable. I just have to keep telling myself "it takes two to tango" & that she failed in the relationship just as much as I did. Hope you make more positive progress in the coming weeks & months!
very wise words. as much i thought i was an independent person when i was with him, now that we broke up and just decided to be friends, i realized that i was in fact co dependent by him. i’m dealing with depression so i was happy only when i spent time with him. which is not an entirely bad thing, because if someone makes you happy it’s okay to feel happier with them, but i can’t be happy only when i’m with certain people. i need to be happy with my life always. when i’m alone and when i’m not. that when in the future i can find someone to be with that i truly love and not someone i depend on
@@Alex-ir5jt I'm responding five month after typing this, so I've gone through a process. What I can say is being friends won't help, it will open the wound over and over again. Finding yourself doesn't have to happen on your own. It can happen with friends, therapists. Our society has created this idea that we have to do everything on ourselves. I love Lana but she is very much an introvert and is perfectly fine with being alone. I am not. I need people to help me. To give me perspective. That doesn't mean you're not independent, it is a strong thing to know what might help you. And chosing to help yourself is an independent thing. And if the confrontation hurts to much at the moment, take it away. Write it out, cry it out. You will be fine. We are whole on ourselves. But remove yourself of what's hurting you. And that is your ex. Believe in the fact that other things might happen and give you love. It is like looking at paintings, we find one we adore and think we never will find something this beautiful. We get stuck in that artistic vision but when we get out of it, we see different beautiful paintings that are different but we might love as much yet in a different way ❤️
@@Alex-ir5jt agree...
It's been almost 2 months since my breakup and not going to lie I have been feeling so great. I feel like a new person. I think this breakup was so needed!! At first, I was devastated but I have manipulated that sadness into greatness and have been really take care of myself.
I recommend you to a man who can help you manifest whatever and who ever you want to manifest within two-days ❤❤❤
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Amazing ! More poweer to you because life is too short!
If interested i share how I healed from a breakup
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idc what people say..you're the QUEEN..thanks for everything
Hi, beautiful analysis. Pain plays a fundamental role in life. Ending a relationship, for whatever reason, is an excellent opportunity for us to learn to deal with our emotional resources. I believe that, in certain circumstances, love does not end. However, it needs to be reframed, gaining new horizons. Another detail:
I see that it is common to speak negatively about the ex-partner. This is cowardice. Everyone owes respect to the other. Otherwise, they will be disrespecting their own history.
You make me want to romanticize the world in more of a healthy way
U mind checking out my videos?
I agree, It is very important to learn from failed relationships. Otherwise you are more likely to keep on attracting the same type of relationships in the future. Keeping your head in the sand is a recipe for future heartache 😢
It’s such a tough part of life, but ultimately makes room for what was meant to be. I really liked the’ rewording’ part. That can be beneficial in many aspects of life.
For me break ups, which should be precious few, have always been a time of serious moral reflection. And a time to examine my own flawed history in order to correct whatever I did that was a problem. And it always is the sign of a deeper issue that needs to be seriously and honestly addressed.
when you haven't even dated anyone before but you still watch these vids
You're not alone 😹😹❤
Yep
😆
Good! Prepare yourself for all parts of a relationship
Priority should be yourself (not in a selfish way)! You will never find love until you find love within yourself! A relationship is meant to grow together with that person, not to them on a pedestal! Society feeds the wrong info!
thank you, i really needed to hear this 🙏🏻
it's helped to redirect my narrative from "he hurt me" to "i set myself free"✨
Hello I'm from Morocco I need your help
Your reflections are so warm, empathic & true. You're a beautiful soul, Lana. ❤
I really like how you shift our perspective into new one. The way you speak and the content of your word really reflect your inner soul. Thank you, Lana.
An off-topic comment coming from someone who has never dated before but, I needed to say that your hair in this video looks absolutely great on you Lana! 😘❤️
1.26 in and this video again reminds me that I LOVE LANA. A breath of fresh air. Sometimes I feel like my thoughts and perspective is so far from those I interact with, but then I found Lana and the people in these comments. I don’t feel as alone anymore ❤️
my boyfriend just broke up with me on our anniversary so here i am watching all the videos about heartbreak that i can find online
he was my first true love, this was my first serious relationship, and i've gone through all the day without breaking down and feeling that i've got this but then lana said "at this moment, there are probably many, many couples around the world sleeping next to each other for the last time, and they might not even know it"
and now i'm ugly sobbing
i'm not ready to sleep alone but god give me strength i will be able to
if it isn't the time to reinvent myself i don't know when it will come
Thanks Lana 😕 my heart was aching so much and I got carried away with depression but watching this video really made me feel a little better. It’s weird how this heartbreak can make me fall physically ill and I’ve been stuck at home for the past 3 weeks. Really appreciate your video and the talk made me feel human again. Salute you, Lana 💯
my dear let me introduce to you dr usifoh who help me bring back my ex after many months of separation
On WhtsApp message him
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@@sweetanita5219 you are right that same man help me
I'm going through the break up from my first love. What helps me is remembering that literally over a billion people went through similar pain and that they recovered from it. So if they did, you can do the same too. I believe in you, it will be painful but one day, the pain will go away. Good luck, remember who you are, I believe in you
That’s a good perspective to have.
After about a dozen or so, you begin to develop a pattern of quick recovery!
Always remember the good times!
My ex-girlfriend got engaged two months after our break-up and we've been talking for over a year. I've learned so much within these two months despite her talking to someone else, my emotions, how people think and feel, and the building block of a strong mindset. I'm finishing this year off strong so I can enter college easily without too much struggle, I hope everyone who reads this takes the time to understand themselves more. (We're all here for a reason)
I am proud to be the type of person who takes ..... This line changed my thought process , I was blaming myself struggling with the situation of not getting any value from other person , but now my perspective is completely changed , I am proud to be me , I have lost nothing , but the other person has lost a complete human being who was completely his only and I had lost the negativity that even doesn't belong to me
this year has been so game-changing for me. I've realized taking time for yourself and letting yourself feel what u need is key. also, understand that no matter the circumstance breakups are ALWAYS hard and uncomfortable. U need that step back to understand your life is changing and it's about to get different than what you've been used to. Although it doesn't mean it will suck, sometimes you're opening space for better things to come along. For me, it all revolves around listening to your needs at this phase and letting yourself heal.
My dear if you want help to get your ex back.
Message me on WhatsApp
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And I will direct you to someone who can help you bring back your ex.
It's crazy how pretty often the video you're posting relates so much to what I'm living at the moment. This is exactly what I needed right now! ❤️
Staying close to family and smiling more playing with kids helps more in breakup situations
I wish, when I'm growing up, I'll slowly gain a mindset like you have. And, complete building that when I'm an adult. I really wish I could!
It’s been 3 months since the breakup for me. I’ve taken steps to improve myself and I’m really happy with my progress, of who I’m becoming. I just wish she was here to see it. I just miss having her in my life.
So helpful! And definitely agree at the start we should let ourselves feel and not put too much pressure to seem like you're great. The best thing that also helped me was journaling if you didn't already before the breakup but do it as much as you feel like it. A lot of the times I sorted of addressed what I was writing to my ex partner and helped me see things with a lot more clarity. This is such a great video Lana!!😊💛
This timing is actually amazing, I just went through one a few hours ago. Thank you for all the amazing content you make ! :)
I hope everything's okay, it can be so hard. If you need to talk to anyone just hmu and I'll be here :).
❤
I hope you're OK! Sending love and support
Hope you're doing OK, as much as can be expected! 🤗
How are you feeling now?
I'm proud to the type of person who takes loyalty and commitment seriously. But I've learned that it can be a weakness of mine because i tolerate more than i should"