You guys confuse it with love but actually it's not, it's just hormonal attractions. After 3 months, all the hormonal reactions will disappear, and that's where you will feel bored and you will be tested whether you really love that person or..... just hormonal affection.. 🤷🏻♀️
me too! I actually told one of my friends "please, if you want to stop seeing me, just tell me that!! Tell me why, be cruel if you have to. Just don't leave without a word, because that sucks!". And they did just that! Months later they reached me like nothing happened "hey, how are you doing?". Block. I am done with that.
“We all suffer from a lack of judgment from time to time” That felt like tons of comfort…I can relate to the confusion of knowing yourself as a logical well grounded human…then suddenly comes that mistake that no one would believe you went through…not even yourself..but I believe some things are destined to be and happen regardless of how much control we got..
@@Miha-cl3cc I gladly invite you to touch some grass and hang out with women. Maybe then, you could start thinking that a disconnected comment isn’t a desperate person pleasing another, but simply an interaction.
I was ghosted and abandoned too many times, and they always try to reach back several months later, casually like "how are you?" like nothing happened. I never replied. But I realized, love or relationship is not worth being hurt that many times and that much. I am now on my own, alone, and now people hate me because I take care of stray cats, because this is who I am now. But, unless they arrest me, or harm the cats, I can live with hate from few strangers. Better to be alone than with someone who will betray and hurt you.
You’re not alone! I’ve been stood up on a planned date to a fancy restaurant. To save myself the embarrassment I called the restaurant to check when the reservation was made and if he was there and turns out it was for a late time, he wasn’t replying to messages or call, and he wasn’t even at the restaurant. I cried in my car and took myself out instead. My lesson learned: only go on a date with someone if they’re actually consistent.
She’s being open talking about it to UA-cam not to her family members or her actual friends in real life.Again this doesn’t surprise me because of how she met the guy which is online because women make their presence more felt online than I. Person.If a man was in a relationship with her he would be waiting until the last day on earth for him to know all of this she just coming on the internet spilling out to thousands of strangers with no problem 🤔.I find this weird and quite frankly I don’t understand why women do this she needs her dad in her life this is who she needs to be sitting down talking about this to not making a video on UA-cam talking about something that u thought was a relationship just because they went out on dates isn’t that just dating 🤔🤣I’m not understanding I don’t get our generation at all like seriously yall are ridiculous.My little cousins that are girls that’s between the ages of 12-19 years old got more sense then this I mean my god man.
@@ChrisGaultHealthyLiving I know she made her decisions that’s why she’s still single.Im not worried about her if she puts out a video talking about her personal life she needs to expect to get judged and assessed by someone this should be common sense but what make sense never make sense to anyone in our generation anymore I can see that.As I was reading most of the comments on this video most of u don’t state your own point of view about anything u just agree and shut up and I’m not doing that😌.This is why these young women in our generation need there fathers in there lives because the people that raised them did a terrible freaking job my god I mean this is ridiculous she made an entire video discussing her personal life.Out of all the people she is related to in her life including friends she decides to go to UA-cam first to tell a bunch of strangers about this im sorry but this is a red flag I run away from women like this.
Most ghosters actually re-appear out of the blue and then ghost you once again (called "zombieing": coming back to life) As an expert in this (lol), BLOCK the hell out of your life because if they had the nerve to ghost you in the first place, they would do it again, trust me. Be a bit selfish, in a positive way, by prioritizing your emotional wellbeing
They usually are narcissistic or at least selfish people who ran out of supply elsewhere after they ditch you so they come back in hope for more supply. I’m very much, you either do right by me or you are permanently cut out. Harsh but I’m not enabling selfishness in others, i deserve loyalty and to have people who don’t betray me
@@Mel-pi2ns Maybe because they see you as a "backup plan", or they're mentally ill and need to see you obsess over them for the sake of validation. Most ghosters are crazy or suffered from trauma. In my situation, it has no relation with being boring, we were doing AMAZING
The exact same situation happened to me last year . And in fact, the biggest blunder I did , Is the fact they when he came back months later, I actually answered, to his random “hey” . As I was afraid that he left, I was just accepting his fruitless excuses . Not a single time did he apologize. But I was actually glad he came back . Few months after, he ghosted me again. And I realized I was just being played with. It left me trust issues, I can’t trust someone fully since then . Furthermore I refuse to get attached again . I am genuinely afraid that people do that again . Ghosting experiences gave me several issues and I refuse to get attached to people again
That's cruel. I want to forget her. But after resisting for 14 days. I contacted her, coz everything felt numb. She never directly said if she loved me or not. But after ghosting me for 1 month. She said she has a boyfriend. So, i stumble back again.
I wish dating was more natural but there's too many factors that make it feel SO shallow nowadays.😭 (dating apps being unpleasant, people not going out as much because of work or other reasons, people being afraid of settling, and social media making us be delusional relationship expectations)
Literally, I have no words. All I want to mention that this is the situation where I was going through just 1year ago. And the most surprising part is that all your said words are literally the same I was also thinking and speaking , the same goes thereafter and thereafter. Truly incredible ! Hats off for the truth.
Oh Lana, I am so sorry you went through this. I too have been there and now I realize, our worth is much more than that and so it doesn’t feel painful. You deserve the best ❤
No one should judge you for being ghosted, I think we've all experienced ghosting at least once, whether romantically or professionally. Generally speaking, people ghost because they're afraid to say where they really stand, so it's up to us in such cases to take a step back and move on from these kinds of situations without feeling sorry for the other person. Love your content Lana, thank you for sharing your story with us 💞
Ghosting is such a weird behavior... they get off on knowing you're completely confused, a week after I was ghosted I caught him with his real girlfriend and he started freaking out saying "I was delusional, nothing ever happened" i was just asking what happened i wasnt even mad but he was 😂 then he started showing up to my house every day to try to talk it over! I KNOW he wouldnt have done that if I hadn't caught him. I never answered the door and I always wonder what he would have said. It's all about pride and ego to most men, sadly
Would be interesting to explore ghosting in friendship. I've ghosted and have been ghosted by friends in the past and what I've found is that it's a bit more complex to have a breakup conversation with people you no longer want to be friends with. So, ghosting often seems like the easier action to take.
We get ghost (either friendship or couple) because we make mistake from their perspective/ something that we don't realise. They feel very disappointment reach to very enough. I can say i'm victim also perpetrator
I think this is a new generation thing. I think breaking up with your friends is very immature. Friendships ebb and flow, and people come in and out of your life. It’s really not that serious. The problem is people now view friendships the same way they view romantic relationships, so when the friendship isn’t as fulfilling anymore, people want to “break up” like how they would a romantic partner. To me, that’s a terrible idea, because why burn bridges with people you may encounter later in life? It just seems very extreme and unnecessary. The best thing to do is take a step back from the friendship and create other ones. Friendship is not mutually exclusive and there are no rules saying you have to cut off one friend to create another. But I fear this new movement of “protecting my peace” is unfortunately causing people to destroy relationships and potential communities, all because they have an all or nothing, black and white view of platonic human relationships. I had a friend “break up” with me and I was shocked by how dramatic it all was lol. Like girl, why are you breaking up with me? Am I your man? Lol it was very unnecessary in my opinion, and unfortunately I don’t ever see a future of us being friends again or even acquaintances. It sucks because we still could have been cool from a distance, but she completely closed the door of reconciliation. She has since emailed me wishing me a happy holiday, but like, the damage is done. I will never be friends again with someone who thinks they need to get rid of me in order to “move on” with their lives. That’s fair, but life is long, so if you decide you’re ok with now having me in your life, understand that I’m no longer interested. Friendships shouldn’t be this dramatic. People who “break up” with their friends lack emotional intelligence in my opinion and don’t understand the value of relationship management. Burning bridges with people is not the right way to go through life. Just my opinion.
@@SS-cu8se You changed my view, I think I agree with you, the best thing is to take a step back and make other friends that you want, but if the person wants to talk to you, you talk to them normally, just don't show so much desire to talk, stay away. talk to her, the friendship naturally remains ''distant'', there's no need to ghost, that is to say disappear, or stop responding, this is cruel and also dramatic like ending a friendship relationship, the best thing is to simply let the friendship disappear the way she comes, and in the future, if the friendship is true, you will have a good chance of even having that person as your everyday friend again, great. I will follow this path.
@@RafaelRickiGranzotto yay! Glad you see things differently. I really hope this “friendship breakup” trend goes away. It just adds to the loneliness epidemic and destroys communities. Research shows that weak ties are still valuable. No need to make enemies because you don’t know how to just move on with your life without a dramatic fallout. Happy you changed your view!
I am so glad you shared such a personal story with us. It shows that being ghosted has nothing to do with you as a person but more with the person that ghosted you. And I think in the end you can be happy not going on further dates wirh him bc you don‘t want to be together with a person that leaves someone without any explanation anyway. I think it is very important learning that I’ve also made in my 20s that you have this gut feeling that you can always trust on. So don‘t lie to yourself, this will safe you a lot of tears
I don’t have time to watch the vid but I’ve been ghosted many times aswell and I feel your pain and it is his loss he doesn’t deserve someone as amazing as you.
yes girl definitely continue making these types of videos! it felt very soothing and peaceful to watch (despite the topic being about something not so lighthearted)
I was in a relationship for 5 months and then my ex broke up with me and blocked me everywhere. Afterwards I never had the opportunity to talk to her anymore, not even to ask her how she is doing. The fact that I couldn't talk to her anymore and I never knew why probably hurt more than the breakup itself
So accurate for me. Often times, you want to jump to conclusions why the other person might have ghosted you - especially when it happens a lot. I had it happen with nearly all of my childhood friends but in real life. People change and that is fine, but it is just brutal in its own way. Thinking how you used to be good friends with them to suddenly get ignored even if u try to reach out to them. Like smiling and waving your hand to another person in anticipation to then moving it down because there is no reciprocation but a cold response. I have learned to accept how people might interact in a lot of different ways with oneself - positive or negative. Otherwise, you will just lose yourself in the storm and get blown away. When I want to cut a tie with someone, I will let them know it beforehand when my decision is already made (f.e. when the other person repetitively creates issues despite having mentioned it already) to not leave them in the dark. Even so, the involved people responded very allergic/toxic when I told them about my reasons. At least it helped me sort them out to find the people that I confidently can bring joy towards in life and vice versa. Meditating and bounding to my religion helped me a lot through it. Thank you for your story. Treat others how you would like to be treated.
Aaah yes the link., the sense of deep respect for her, my eyes slowly dancing on her when I met her. I knew she was so special. I was a fool for not telling her back then. Now she's with a 32yo half Spanish half Italian man who is not gonna marry her. He just doesn't want a stable relationship. I would marry her in a heartbeat my god..I hope to not meet her again, otherwise I'm gonna fall again in that horrible black hole of love.
I agree, genuine love feels calm and comfortable. Lust, adventure and excitement have more of the "butterflies" feeling. I think love can grow out of something that started as "butterflies" over a long period of time though. We all go through things like this when we're younger and should give ourselves grace for our thought processes at the time. That's how we learn. We also need to forgive the other person since they are capable of making the same mistake as we did at the time.
The person that ghosted me is almost in his 50’s so not young and seems to be something they have done a lot in their prior dating life and seems that they haven’t changed at all. So ghosting is not always just something that younger people do.
Thank you for sharing this. Such ghosting personalitites are everywhere and their motivations are still unclear to me. I was 19 when I experienced a similar thing. I still don't really know how to feel about that - should I despise this peroson, shoud I pity them, should I forgive them... Really confusing. But you're right, the closure is not coming from anywhere, you just have to live with that and learn how to avoid such situations and maybe learn to value yourself more than anything.
Thank you for having the courage in your compassion to make yourself vulnerable about this. If someone as valuable and worthy as you can be ghosted it can happen to anyone. What it shows is that it's not about you when you're ghosted, but about them and perhaps their lack of courage and compassion.
Omg!!!! the red flags you described are the exact behavior of the person that ghosted me. Anyway I ended up hunting him down through a fake number and got my closure and am glad that it didn't work out.
I have never been ghosted but I can not respect anyone who “ghosts”. They’re either cowards who’re afraid of confrontations or selfish human beings who can’t even give someone the common decency and respect to simply say “goodbye”. Not to mention by doing so, it probably feeds their fragile egos.
Interesting video content, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
A few years ago I was ghosted by someone I cared very deeply for. It was horrible. It took me a long time to get over and even trust new people that came into my life since then too...
The thing that makes us intrigued about her video it’s not because she is pretty, but the fact that she is very well spoken and able to pronounce every words with meaning behind them.
You are so naive and wonderful. I love the way he perceives the events that happen to him and reflects them to us. I'm your follower from another country, that's why there are typos. Sorry. You can always stay like this, you can reach different shapes, but you will be very special. I love your energy.
I'm so sorry you went through that, it's the worst feeling in the world, to be ignored. You truly dodged a bullet. Cowards. That's all they are. People have been ghosted for centuries, there's just a new term for it now. It doesn't matter how old or wise you get - you can still allow yourself, almost knowingly, to get hurt - and ghosted. I'm twice your age & I started seeing one of my veterinarians almost a year ago...I'm a professional pet sitter, 25 yr biz owner. I had just previously broke up with my long-distance Canadian fiance - I live in Phoenix Arizona. We were together 5 yrs and friends for 12 yrs before dating. Neither one of us wanted or were prepared to leave our countries for the other, so we broke up. I waited what I thought was a sufficient amount of time to start dating again, 3 months. But, it wasn't long enough. I was still very vulnerable. I allowed myself to prematurely get into something new, with my vet, whom I'd known as a patient (my dogs...he put one of them to rest for me, so I was very emotionally attached starting with that before even dating) for a few yrs prior to dating. As you can see there's a pattern of friends first...thinking this somehow protects you, nope. Long story short, after 2 months of dating what I thought was exclusive I decided to have "the talk" - hey, my gay hairdresser said "girl, it's time to address the elephant in the room!" Good enough for me! So we went to dinner, had my sexiest dress on, my hair just blown out...got compliments all night. But after asking where things stand we were over within 2 days. Too much pressure I guess. The thing is, it's better to ask in the beginning even if you know you probably won't receive the answer you want. Isn't that better than looking back a year later and have spent all that time getting attached to someone who's attachment style is different than yours, Avoidant? I knew going into it, like you, that we probably weren't going to be forever, even though he checked all my boxes and it was the best sex in my life! Our little voice, higher self, will always tell us everything we need to know up front. It's up to us to listen. He immediately took a job in the worst part of Louisiana working with rehabilitating and retiring Apes that spent their whole life being experimented in labs. 😢So, I'm happy he's living his dream. I wasn't about to invest in another long-distance relationship. Do I have regrets? Not one. Everything really does happen for a reason. P.s We both felt butterflies the entire time we dated. I kept thinking they would eventually go away. I would say to him "Maybe it's not actually a good thing we feel anxious when we're with each other...". He would reply "Oh no, I know myself & it's a very good thing." Really? No, not really.
Im in this exact era of my life since one year now. tonight I was supposed to see for the first time a man Ive been talking to for 10 mounths ... and he stood me up and ghosted me, im still on delivered ... for the 3rd time ... and its my birthday. happy 24th, yay !! Ive never been a relationship with anyone, bc my whole life I have always been hyperindependant, focusing on myself and didnt care AT ALL of men unless I knew for sure that he will be the man of my life. but last year I turned 23 and I started being afraid of missing out on my youth, so I started talking to a lot of men on dating apps (ew). Ive met 2 men that tramatized me and it completely ruined me and how I see relationships now. Not recognizing yourself is the WORST for someone like me who built her entire life around being my most honnest self, I also having a psychology licence, etc. I could NEVER have suspected that the thing I was going to lose control of was men, NEVER. being fully aware that you are glowing down is awful. I just wanna be me again.
I am really extremely sorry this happened to you. the guy you were talking to for 10 months - was it on a dating app? Was he in another country or something?
this is 2 months late, but i wanted to say - 1) i could never dream of judging lovely miss lana, and am instead so happy to connect with someone on the endearing naivety of youth, 2) thank you for sharing this story time, i know it is a deeply personal experience so we are honored to hear it. 3) i would LOVE more laid back “hang out” videos like this; i watched while painting my nails and felt like i was laughing & chatting with a girlfriend
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
I'm still at the beginning of this video I don't know why but I can sense a difference in your energy you're usually so calm this time I feel you're more expressive
Thank you for sharing your story, have experienced a similar thing unfortunately. However, I would like to challenge the point of not responding for hours could lead to somebody potentially being a ghoster. Some people, fortunately, are good at leaving their phones unattented for hours to focus on work, social gatherings etc. Although I am unfortunately not one of them…😂 But just so people don’t assume that they’re dealing with a potential ghoster if they only reply mornings and evenings. I think intuition in general is the biggest factor here and if nothing else is triggered, then you are good ❤
Thanks a lot for sharing your story! A similar thing also happened to me and now hearing it from someone else, I can see clearly that this person wasn't worth my while.
It's important to always take a step back and reflect on exactly what you value and want and to see that person for who they really are without being blinded by emotions. Learn from your mistakes and take accountability, no one is perfect. .....or you know just keep chasing the same person type repeatedly and keep expecting different results.
LOL, dude. It isn't that big of a deal. The worst thing you could do now is contact them again. They most likely moved on and would not want to engage with you again and that's fine. Meet other people, there's literally billions of people.
I don't whether anyone noticed that not only the storytelling and the story itself is so relatable and interesting but I adore how you started playing with different background souds and effects in this video. Marvelous job!
@@LanaBlakelyI think you should also focus on the amount of times you have ghosted the “nice guys” You got ghosted by a guy who just wanted sex from you .
Lana; I've been reluctant to watch this. Today it's playing because I was listening to a "Ted talk". I'd like to mention I am this American guy you don't even know. I'm not looking for a relationship due to my financial situation, maybe even religious but I'm agnostic knowing I'm not Christian, afraid I might be confused with atheist if I don't mention agnosticism. I greatly value our relationship as not even friends. Thank you so much for being.
i went through something similar but also different. i learned a lot about attachment theory which helped get me out of the intense mental distress. i think you also have a video about being okay being alone too. in learning about attachment theory i found that how i socialize is probably rooted a lot in how i relate to m parents and how they relate to each other, which is to say, pretty dysfunctionally. and it's not something that can be easily changed if at all. hence, the being alone. i think the prospects of mutuality and partnership have been so anemic that i go to that to find some kind of peace. i may just not be able to pick up social cues that you have to pick up, or maybe i don't have the social skills to access partners who are more of a prospect for mutuality. the peace i found was that everyone is probably struggling, including that guy who stopped contact with you. i would guess he was interested and he didn't know how to handle his feelings and left. and i think that's what my partner did when she sensed the same. but anyway, who knows. distressing stuff, but part of life i guess. thanks for the video
online friend did this to me, she doesn’t answer my texts on any of my socials yet she snaps me every single day. i wish i was strong enough to completely cut it off, unfriend her on snap but theres still that glimmer of hope in me that makes me believe we might become the best friends we were, once again.
You need stop idolising this friendship and value yourself! She seems to only care if she can get something out of you! Stop wasting your own time … You deserve a loving friend !
I just want to mention that if a guy really wants you in his life, he'll tell you about the people he communicates with. Whether it's work, family, old friends, acquaintances... when I've been in a relationship, I have always tried to be open about things/people/experiences. If I want her in my life, she has to know my life. And I want to know hers, so that I can be in it.
I usually never comment on videos, but i just wanted to say that i think it's so brave of you to share this story with the internet. Love how you share such a vulnerable event and your insights. And if people are going to judge you for something like that, it says a lot more about them than about you. It's human to make mistakes and especially in your twenties. Thank you for making me feel less alone! Would love to see more videos like this from you ❤
In my first long term relationship, I was 'breakup ghosted'. 2.5 years together with her wanting future marriage. Seemingly good for months prior and then she suddenly initiated a fight when I told her I wasn't comfortable with her spending her entire birthday with a guy friend who flew across the country to see her instead of spending it together with me. She hung up on me during our last conversation and her final words were "We're over. Bye". I was angry at her and so I just let it go, thinking she would apologize and we would get back together. Days turned to weeks, and after a month and a half I couldn't take it anymore and reached out. I told her I loved her and wanted to work on things... she did not. We had a great connection and I treated her well. It's been 2 years and I have not yet found someone who I loved as much as her. Be careful who you give your heart to. Have more self respect than I did staying with someone who didn't want to put in effort, don't tolerate disrespect, and please pay attention to red flags early on. She did not end up dating that birthday guy as far as I know, and is now in another relationship mooching off another poor kind soul.
So sorry for what you went through. I agree people don't pay enough attention to red flags. Disrespect is not something that will just magically disappear, and we need to take it into account and not close are eyes in denial. I wish you luck and hope you find someone lovely!
@@kateginger Thank you! I have grown so much since that relationship, although I'm still healing from what happened. I like to believe that it ended for a reason and helped prepare me for the future person I'm meant to be with. I hope you already have a special someone or if you're still looking that you meet them soon :)
I dont understand why people would judge you in this situation. Yes in an ideal scenario you would have left ASAP but don't we all do stupid mistakes when in love? We all ignore things we shouldn't. We all go through heartbreak to learn certain things. Take it easy on yourself. You were young we all are once.
why are people making it so difficult for each other i don't get that just talk just say '' i'm sorry, i don't think this is gonna work out, i don't feel the attraction'' it's not that hard, yeah it's gonna hurt, but ghosting is disgusting idc what your mentality is just say it.
Even if you try to have conversations about the future, sometimes your partner will not be honest because they know if they do they will lose you. There is no real solution for ghosting, my suggestion is protecting yourself emotionally so that the ghosting event does not impact you as much as it normally would, anyways don't ghost people.. Be honest with your intentions, if its not for you then let it go.. because sometimes you might hurt someone without reason at all and trust me eventually karma will pay you back.
I would also add, when you’re asking them who they are texting or getting texts from… watch their facial expressions as this tells you so much about them
Thanks for sharing your experience. It's valuable not only for girls but also for boys, as it offers insights on how to navigate relationships and commit to the person they're dating. I always enjoy your videos, and this is probably the first comment I've written on your channel!
k but the first thought I had before even getting to the end of the video was: who in their right mind would be SO shortsighted to ghost Lana??! 🥴 I really appreciate you making this video. It's really interesting to hear your reflections on this relationship a few years later and see your growth since then 💕
Some dude who most likely just wanted her for the physical. He was probably handsome, tall, etc and had a bit of an ego, probably had an abundance of girls, and thought he could pick another up. Sad but possible.
What I do... If I see someone else texting too often, very weird; I don't ask, I just plan my going out from the life of that person. IF she or he is secure of what he or she does; This is not suppose to happen. If it is; You should not even talk too much about it; Just telling her or she once SHOULD be enough.
I had a very similar situation(ship), though I was not ghosted, but "broken up with". From my side I definitely let several signs slip through the cracks. But I was very honest with that person about my intentions. He first said he was looking for the same thing, and then ten dates after it turned out that he was not ready for a relationship because "becoming a boyfriend is too much commitment". There were some things that I think could be attributed to his age (he was younger than me), but some other things were truly wild. And it took me here and a half months to get over it (the entire thing lasted only one and a half months). I think this also shows how damaging these situationships truly are. But I am happy that I am over it finally, and I did learn a ton from it. Never repeating those mistakes ever again!
I wonder what is going on in the head of such a person. I mean, is he a total coward or what? One at least can say: "Look, I do not think our relationship is going to get somewhere, it was a nice time, but I think it is better if we do no longer maintain contact to each other" or something like that. I mean, at least you should be honest and tell the person you are dating since a certain period you do no longer wish to continue "the thing". Simply pissing yourself of from one hour to the other is so cowardly.
Oh wow, I just realized that I was ghosted once. It's weird to give a definition for that moment but I think that was it, he stopped texting and didn't reach out anymore, he already wasn't much of a text person but he was on-line from time to time. Maybe after all we only shared common interests and then we drifted apart, starting with his choice 🍃
Thanks for sharing! Recently went through something similar (altho I am experienced, so IK what to do), so this was validating. Also, I love the calm tone of your vids… or IG that’s just your nature in general :)
Lana, this is a beautiful video. Very well done. Thank you for sharing your story. I agree with what you say about butterflies...it's not necessarily good to have them...really depends on the situation.
I don't know. . . on the one hand, ghosting is often an indication of a lack of social skills. . . but in the other hand, there are people you can't reason with when you have concerns you need to bring up, so I could see walking away quietly instead of wasting energy and getting into an argument. Sometimes it's safer to ghost than to put your life at risk, at least in the U.S. Personally, if I even had the sense that someone was cheating on me, I'd rather ghost than put up with more disrespect like being told "you're so insecure and controlling".
Whenever you're dating somebody you always have to ask questions, I think that a relationship without communication is not a relationship. Communication is the key. If for some reason that person doesn't like to answer your questions, that's a red flag, be careful with that. All that going out and having fun is great but you have to take the time to know the other person. I had to learn it the hard way too.
The more you logically look at a person, the harder it is to be shocked by ghosting. Values and Day to day living is a big sign if the relationship will work. You have to focus on those things first.
My story is quite similar, we've been seeing each other for about 5 months and all of a sudden he started ignoring me completely. Three weeks later he texted me saying he got together with someone else and then blocked me everywhere 😞 it's been 2 months and it still hurts, I really liked him 😕
lol that is not how chads work. That is why women who only chase chads in the end say all men are bad and become toxic with a misandry mindset because they only chase chads, while the other 95% of men are ignored. Betting one of that 95% ignored had the one they were looking for, but people are vain theses days and ignorance is bliss. Infact This man she is waffling on about is who she compares everyman to. She wants that feeling (instant connection) she had with him with a personality of all the men she ignores. Big difference between lust and love.
Well thankfully people who were my so called friends ghosted me so I could focus more on those who didn't ghost me and kept in touch. During covid I learnt the hard way people come and go... And by the way, I really liked this video format too.
I’m 48 and have been alone since 2001. I’m used to it now and quite enjoy it. I am a bit concerned though for the younger generation, because the use of technology has lead to an increase in toxic behaviours. Due to this a lot of people have just had enough or are struggling to form relationships and start families (yes humans are social creatures that procreate) this isn’t to bash technology but as a 70’s child I can see how this has happened. It’s sad to read the comments of so many people who are saying “had enough of this etc” especially when they are so young ❤ x
Ahh Lana.. how I remember I was ghosted.. always ashamed of it.. but suddenly feel ok to see you, hear you and how to shared your exp. Thank you Lana, I have such an earge to meet you now.
Lana, listening to you is soul comforting! If you plan to visit India ever, which you should, would love to host you, let me know when you are up for the spiritual retreat.
Have you ever been ghosted? Share your story so we can all feel less alone haha xx
A girl ghosted me once for just proposing to her and she said not now
😂😂my best friend ghosted by a girl but now i'm with him . He is so amazing , how someone can ghost a person like him
I LUV U...!
Been there, done that, got the t shirt! 😅
This is why whenever someone wants to be In relationship with me I never fully trust them
Ignoring one's gut feeling when it comes to dating is the greatest mistake that most people make when blinded by hormones and chemicals.
Exacto nos llevamos por emociones
chemicals (English! The most inconsistent and nonsensical language on the planet, when it comes to spelling and pronunciation ! )
"blinded by hormones and chemicals" i like it🤣😁😂
turu
You guys confuse it with love but actually it's not, it's just hormonal attractions. After 3 months, all the hormonal reactions will disappear, and that's where you will feel bored and you will be tested whether you really love that person or..... just hormonal affection.. 🤷🏻♀️
I hate when friends ghost you as well. They leave and act like you never existed or you never meant anything to them in the first place 😢
For real
me too! I actually told one of my friends "please, if you want to stop seeing me, just tell me that!! Tell me why, be cruel if you have to. Just don't leave without a word, because that sucks!". And they did just that! Months later they reached me like nothing happened "hey, how are you doing?". Block. I am done with that.
@@biljam972 just the perfect act
Facts hurts more in a way
True. That's when you think if you really have friends.. Hurts
“We all suffer from a lack of judgment from time to time”
That felt like tons of comfort…I can relate to the confusion of knowing yourself as a logical well grounded human…then suddenly comes that mistake that no one would believe you went through…not even yourself..but I believe some things are destined to be and happen regardless of how much control we got..
This was so healing to hear. “Even the smartest people can fall victim to emotions.” More story times plzzz ❤
The smartest people are somtimes the lonliest
@@EarnAHusband-1999 I agree :(
i knew there were crazy people out there, but ghosting lana is a whole new level
no one is safe :')
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
Jiddu Krishnamurti
@@LanaBlakely You are humorous about it :)
stop simping
@@Miha-cl3cc I gladly invite you to touch some grass and hang out with women.
Maybe then, you could start thinking that a disconnected comment isn’t a desperate person pleasing another, but simply an interaction.
I was ghosted and abandoned too many times, and they always try to reach back several months later, casually like "how are you?" like nothing happened. I never replied. But I realized, love or relationship is not worth being hurt that many times and that much. I am now on my own, alone, and now people hate me because I take care of stray cats, because this is who I am now. But, unless they arrest me, or harm the cats, I can live with hate from few strangers. Better to be alone than with someone who will betray and hurt you.
yep i feel this. why add the additional layer of stress and hurt when life is already stressful 😅
Ya usually I ignore them, or tell them thanks for the friendship we had but no longer interested anymore, sorry.
Living the dream!
Fun fact: God loves you and is always with you, so you are never truly alone
Why do people hate you, I don't understand??
You’re not alone! I’ve been stood up on a planned date to a fancy restaurant. To save myself the embarrassment I called the restaurant to check when the reservation was made and if he was there and turns out it was for a late time, he wasn’t replying to messages or call, and he wasn’t even at the restaurant. I cried in my car and took myself out instead. My lesson learned: only go on a date with someone if they’re actually consistent.
Sorry to hear. Start slow with no cost dates. Make him dinner and let him return the favour, picking you up.
@@davedsilva that’s actually a great idea thanks
I think we all have been ghosted at times. Great story, Lana! Not sure why anyone would ghost you. Keep being your awesome self!
I love how open she is omg this makes me feel HUMAN 💖
She’s being open talking about it to UA-cam not to her family members or her actual friends in real life.Again this doesn’t surprise me because of how she met the guy which is online because women make their presence more felt online than I. Person.If a man was in a relationship with her he would be waiting until the last day on earth for him to know all of this she just coming on the internet spilling out to thousands of strangers with no problem 🤔.I find this weird and quite frankly I don’t understand why women do this she needs her dad in her life this is who she needs to be sitting down talking about this to not making a video on UA-cam talking about something that u thought was a relationship just because they went out on dates isn’t that just dating 🤔🤣I’m not understanding I don’t get our generation at all like seriously yall are ridiculous.My little cousins that are girls that’s between the ages of 12-19 years old got more sense then this I mean my god man.
@@jamalgreen3056 I don't know, but maybe we leave it up to her to make decisions for her own life & you worry about yours.
@@ChrisGaultHealthyLiving I know she made her decisions that’s why she’s still single.Im not worried about her if she puts out a video talking about her personal life she needs to expect to get judged and assessed by someone this should be common sense but what make sense never make sense to anyone in our generation anymore I can see that.As I was reading most of the comments on this video most of u don’t state your own point of view about anything u just agree and shut up and I’m not doing that😌.This is why these young women in our generation need there fathers in there lives because the people that raised them did a terrible freaking job my god I mean this is ridiculous she made an entire video discussing her personal life.Out of all the people she is related to in her life including friends she decides to go to UA-cam first to tell a bunch of strangers about this im sorry but this is a red flag I run away from women like this.
@@jamalgreen3056 "Personal life" girl bye what
@@jamalgreen3056what are u even yapping about
Most ghosters actually re-appear out of the blue and then ghost you once again (called "zombieing": coming back to life)
As an expert in this (lol), BLOCK the hell out of your life because if they had the nerve to ghost you in the first place, they would do it again, trust me.
Be a bit selfish, in a positive way, by prioritizing your emotional wellbeing
Lmao I do that too 😭 but for different reasons
What do you think, why do people message you again?
@@Mel-pi2ns They're basically toxic if not crazy. They want you to obsess and lose your mind over them so they feel validation.
They usually are narcissistic or at least selfish people who ran out of supply elsewhere after they ditch you so they come back in hope for more supply. I’m very much, you either do right by me or you are permanently cut out. Harsh but I’m not enabling selfishness in others, i deserve loyalty and to have people who don’t betray me
@@Mel-pi2ns Maybe because they see you as a "backup plan", or they're mentally ill and need to see you obsess over them for the sake of validation. Most ghosters are crazy or suffered from trauma.
In my situation, it has no relation with being boring, we were doing AMAZING
Lana - we will never ghost your uploads. That is a promise!
Yes
Can I join please
😂
@@criminozs hey
@@BrianSpires hey you
The irony is that he turned his back on you, but in so doing revealed character flaws in himself. If affect did you a favor.
The exact same situation happened to me last year . And in fact, the biggest blunder I did , Is the fact they when he came back months later, I actually answered, to his random “hey” . As I was afraid that he left, I was just accepting his fruitless excuses . Not a single time did he apologize. But I was actually glad he came back . Few months after, he ghosted me again. And I realized I was just being played with. It left me trust issues, I can’t trust someone fully since then . Furthermore I refuse to get attached again . I am genuinely afraid that people do that again . Ghosting experiences gave me several issues and I refuse to get attached to people again
That's cruel. I want to forget her. But after resisting for 14 days. I contacted her, coz everything felt numb. She never directly said if she loved me or not. But after ghosting me for 1 month. She said she has a boyfriend. So, i stumble back again.
Yes please share more of your stories! Love the honesty and openness :)
I wish dating was more natural but there's too many factors that make it feel SO shallow nowadays.😭
(dating apps being unpleasant, people not going out as much because of work or other reasons, people being afraid of settling, and social media making us be delusional relationship expectations)
Literally, I have no words. All I want to mention that this is the situation where I was going through just 1year ago. And the most surprising part is that all your said words are literally the same I was also thinking and speaking , the same goes thereafter and thereafter. Truly incredible ! Hats off for the truth.
Oh Lana, I am so sorry you went through this. I too have been there and now I realize, our worth is much more than that and so it doesn’t feel painful. You deserve the best ❤
No one should judge you for being ghosted, I think we've all experienced ghosting at least once, whether romantically or professionally. Generally speaking, people ghost because they're afraid to say where they really stand, so it's up to us in such cases to take a step back and move on from these kinds of situations without feeling sorry for the other person. Love your content Lana, thank you for sharing your story with us 💞
Thanks for sharing your story. Many guys create fake arguments instead of ghosting. So few people are honest in dating, it’s very sad
Ghosting is such a weird behavior... they get off on knowing you're completely confused, a week after I was ghosted I caught him with his real girlfriend and he started freaking out saying "I was delusional, nothing ever happened" i was just asking what happened i wasnt even mad but he was 😂 then he started showing up to my house every day to try to talk it over! I KNOW he wouldnt have done that if I hadn't caught him. I never answered the door and I always wonder what he would have said. It's all about pride and ego to most men, sadly
They are the sadists. To me they are simply abusive.
Would be interesting to explore ghosting in friendship. I've ghosted and have been ghosted by friends in the past and what I've found is that it's a bit more complex to have a breakup conversation with people you no longer want to be friends with. So, ghosting often seems like the easier action to take.
We get ghost (either friendship or couple) because we make mistake from their perspective/ something that we don't realise. They feel very disappointment reach to very enough. I can say i'm victim also perpetrator
I think this is a new generation thing. I think breaking up with your friends is very immature. Friendships ebb and flow, and people come in and out of your life. It’s really not that serious. The problem is people now view friendships the same way they view romantic relationships, so when the friendship isn’t as fulfilling anymore, people want to “break up” like how they would a romantic partner. To me, that’s a terrible idea, because why burn bridges with people you may encounter later in life? It just seems very extreme and unnecessary. The best thing to do is take a step back from the friendship and create other ones. Friendship is not mutually exclusive and there are no rules saying you have to cut off one friend to create another. But I fear this new movement of “protecting my peace” is unfortunately causing people to destroy relationships and potential communities, all because they have an all or nothing, black and white view of platonic human relationships.
I had a friend “break up” with me and I was shocked by how dramatic it all was lol. Like girl, why are you breaking up with me? Am I your man? Lol it was very unnecessary in my opinion, and unfortunately I don’t ever see a future of us being friends again or even acquaintances. It sucks because we still could have been cool from a distance, but she completely closed the door of reconciliation. She has since emailed me wishing me a happy holiday, but like, the damage is done. I will never be friends again with someone who thinks they need to get rid of me in order to “move on” with their lives. That’s fair, but life is long, so if you decide you’re ok with now having me in your life, understand that I’m no longer interested.
Friendships shouldn’t be this dramatic. People who “break up” with their friends lack emotional intelligence in my opinion and don’t understand the value of relationship management. Burning bridges with people is not the right way to go through life. Just my opinion.
@@SS-cu8se You changed my view, I think I agree with you, the best thing is to take a step back and make other friends that you want, but if the person wants to talk to you, you talk to them normally, just don't show so much desire to talk, stay away. talk to her, the friendship naturally remains ''distant'', there's no need to ghost, that is to say disappear, or stop responding, this is cruel and also dramatic like ending a friendship relationship, the best thing is to simply let the friendship disappear the way she comes, and in the future, if the friendship is true, you will have a good chance of even having that person as your everyday friend again, great. I will follow this path.
@@RafaelRickiGranzotto yay! Glad you see things differently. I really hope this “friendship breakup” trend goes away. It just adds to the loneliness epidemic and destroys communities. Research shows that weak ties are still valuable. No need to make enemies because you don’t know how to just move on with your life without a dramatic fallout. Happy you changed your view!
I am so glad you shared such a personal story with us. It shows that being ghosted has nothing to do with you as a person but more with the person that ghosted you.
And I think in the end you can be happy not going on further dates wirh him bc you don‘t want to be together with a person that leaves someone without any explanation anyway.
I think it is very important learning that I’ve also made in my 20s that you have this gut feeling that you can always trust on. So don‘t lie to yourself, this will safe you a lot of tears
I don’t have time to watch the vid but I’ve been ghosted many times aswell and I feel your pain and it is his loss he doesn’t deserve someone as amazing as you.
yes girl definitely continue making these types of videos! it felt very soothing and peaceful to watch (despite the topic being about something not so lighthearted)
I was in a relationship for 5 months and then my ex broke up with me and blocked me everywhere. Afterwards I never had the opportunity to talk to her anymore, not even to ask her how she is doing. The fact that I couldn't talk to her anymore and I never knew why probably hurt more than the breakup itself
So accurate for me. Often times, you want to jump to conclusions why the other person might have ghosted you - especially when it happens a lot.
I had it happen with nearly all of my childhood friends but in real life. People change and that is fine, but it is just brutal in its own way. Thinking how you used to be good friends with them to suddenly get ignored even if u try to reach out to them. Like smiling and waving your hand to another person in anticipation to then moving it down because there is no reciprocation but a cold response.
I have learned to accept how people might interact in a lot of different ways with oneself - positive or negative. Otherwise, you will just lose yourself in the storm and get blown away.
When I want to cut a tie with someone, I will let them know it beforehand when my decision is already made (f.e. when the other person repetitively creates issues despite having mentioned it already) to not leave them in the dark. Even so, the involved people responded very allergic/toxic when I told them about my reasons. At least it helped me sort them out to find the people that I confidently can bring joy towards in life and vice versa.
Meditating and bounding to my religion helped me a lot through it. Thank you for your story. Treat others how you would like to be treated.
Aaah yes the link., the sense of deep respect for her, my eyes slowly dancing on her when I met her. I knew she was so special. I was a fool for not telling her back then. Now she's with a 32yo half Spanish half Italian man who is not gonna marry her. He just doesn't want a stable relationship. I would marry her in a heartbeat my god..I hope to not meet her again, otherwise I'm gonna fall again in that horrible black hole of love.
I agree, genuine love feels calm and comfortable. Lust, adventure and excitement have more of the "butterflies" feeling. I think love can grow out of something that started as "butterflies" over a long period of time though.
We all go through things like this when we're younger and should give ourselves grace for our thought processes at the time. That's how we learn. We also need to forgive the other person since they are capable of making the same mistake as we did at the time.
The person that ghosted me is almost in his 50’s so not young and seems to be something they have done a lot in their prior dating life and seems that they haven’t changed at all. So ghosting is not always just something that younger people do.
Thank you for sharing this.
Such ghosting personalitites are everywhere and their motivations are still unclear to me. I was 19 when I experienced a similar thing. I still don't really know how to feel about that - should I despise this peroson, shoud I pity them, should I forgive them... Really confusing. But you're right, the closure is not coming from anywhere, you just have to live with that and learn how to avoid such situations and maybe learn to value yourself more than anything.
generally a guy youre into?
@@JackInABeanstalk98 it can be a girl as well
@@samakaeva with a woman you most likely creeped her out
Thank you for having the courage in your compassion to make yourself vulnerable about this. If someone as valuable and worthy as you can be ghosted it can happen to anyone. What it shows is that it's not about you when you're ghosted, but about them and perhaps their lack of courage and compassion.
Omg!!!! the red flags you described are the exact behavior of the person that ghosted me. Anyway I ended up hunting him down through a fake number and got my closure and am glad that it didn't work out.
what did you find out after you hunted him down?
I have never been ghosted but I can not respect anyone who “ghosts”. They’re either cowards who’re afraid of confrontations or selfish human beings who can’t even give someone the common decency and respect to simply say “goodbye”. Not to mention by doing so, it probably feeds their fragile egos.
Interesting video content, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
This is a scam post, don't buy into this
A few years ago I was ghosted by someone I cared very deeply for. It was horrible. It took me a long time to get over and even trust new people that came into my life since then too...
The thing that makes us intrigued about her video it’s not because she is pretty, but the fact that she is very well spoken and able to pronounce every words with meaning behind them.
You are so naive and wonderful. I love the way he perceives the events that happen to him and reflects them to us. I'm your follower from another country, that's why there are typos. Sorry. You can always stay like this, you can reach different shapes, but you will be very special. I love your energy.
I feel less alone after watching this😭
I'm so sorry you went through that, it's the worst feeling in the world, to be ignored. You truly dodged a bullet. Cowards. That's all they are. People have been ghosted for centuries, there's just a new term for it now.
It doesn't matter how old or wise you get - you can still allow yourself, almost knowingly, to get hurt - and ghosted. I'm twice your age & I started seeing one of my veterinarians almost a year ago...I'm a professional pet sitter, 25 yr biz owner. I had just previously broke up with my long-distance Canadian fiance - I live in Phoenix Arizona. We were together 5 yrs and friends for 12 yrs before dating. Neither one of us wanted or were prepared to leave our countries for the other, so we broke up. I waited what I thought was a sufficient amount of time to start dating again, 3 months. But, it wasn't long enough. I was still very vulnerable. I allowed myself to prematurely get into something new, with my vet, whom I'd known as a patient (my dogs...he put one of them to rest for me, so I was very emotionally attached starting with that before even dating) for a few yrs prior to dating. As you can see there's a pattern of friends first...thinking this somehow protects you, nope. Long story short, after 2 months of dating what I thought was exclusive I decided to have "the talk" - hey, my gay hairdresser said "girl, it's time to address the elephant in the room!" Good enough for me! So we went to dinner, had my sexiest dress on, my hair just blown out...got compliments all night. But after asking where things stand we were over within 2 days. Too much pressure I guess. The thing is, it's better to ask in the beginning even if you know you probably won't receive the answer you want. Isn't that better than looking back a year later and have spent all that time getting attached to someone who's attachment style is different than yours, Avoidant? I knew going into it, like you, that we probably weren't going to be forever, even though he checked all my boxes and it was the best sex in my life! Our little voice, higher self, will always tell us everything we need to know up front. It's up to us to listen. He immediately took a job in the worst part of Louisiana working with rehabilitating and retiring Apes that spent their whole life being experimented in labs. 😢So, I'm happy he's living his dream. I wasn't about to invest in another long-distance relationship. Do I have regrets? Not one. Everything really does happen for a reason.
P.s We both felt butterflies the entire time we dated. I kept thinking they would eventually go away. I would say to him "Maybe it's not actually a good thing we feel anxious when we're with each other...". He would reply "Oh no, I know myself & it's a very good thing." Really? No, not really.
Im in this exact era of my life since one year now.
tonight I was supposed to see for the first time a man Ive been talking to for 10 mounths ... and he stood me up and ghosted me, im still on delivered ... for the 3rd time ... and its my birthday. happy 24th, yay !!
Ive never been a relationship with anyone, bc my whole life I have always been hyperindependant, focusing on myself and didnt care AT ALL of men unless I knew for sure that he will be the man of my life. but last year I turned 23 and I started being afraid of missing out on my youth, so I started talking to a lot of men on dating apps (ew). Ive met 2 men that tramatized me and it completely ruined me and how I see relationships now. Not recognizing yourself is the WORST for someone like me who built her entire life around being my most honnest self, I also having a psychology licence, etc. I could NEVER have suspected that the thing I was going to lose control of was men, NEVER. being fully aware that you are glowing down is awful. I just wanna be me again.
I am really extremely sorry this happened to you. the guy you were talking to for 10 months - was it on a dating app? Was he in another country or something?
this is 2 months late, but i wanted to say - 1) i could never dream of judging lovely miss lana, and am instead so happy to connect with someone on the endearing naivety of youth, 2) thank you for sharing this story time, i know it is a deeply personal experience so we are honored to hear it. 3) i would LOVE more laid back “hang out” videos like this; i watched while painting my nails and felt like i was laughing & chatting with a girlfriend
Love your way of narrating and storytelling! for sure we need more!
I'm so sorry this happened to you...unfortuantely even family and friends do that and it's on them, they are the issue, not you.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episode, enough to start working on my mental health.
Can dr.porassss send to me in UK?
Nah, becoming a druggie isn't a solution to anything.
I'm still at the beginning of this video I don't know why but I can sense a difference in your energy you're usually so calm this time I feel you're more expressive
she's just more confident recently i think. she's more animated in general now
@@serengeti4027 exactly 💯
Thank you for sharing your story, have experienced a similar thing unfortunately. However, I would like to challenge the point of not responding for hours could lead to somebody potentially being a ghoster. Some people, fortunately, are good at leaving their phones unattented for hours to focus on work, social gatherings etc. Although I am unfortunately not one of them…😂 But just so people don’t assume that they’re dealing with a potential ghoster if they only reply mornings and evenings. I think intuition in general is the biggest factor here and if nothing else is triggered, then you are good ❤
Thanks a lot for sharing your story! A similar thing also happened to me and now hearing it from someone else, I can see clearly that this person wasn't worth my while.
going through a similar situation right now, this video really helped me, thank you ❤
Lana your voice is very soothing 😌💖🤌🏻💕
It's important to always take a step back and reflect on exactly what you value and want and to see that person for who they really are without being blinded by emotions. Learn from your mistakes and take accountability, no one is perfect.
.....or you know just keep chasing the same person type repeatedly and keep expecting different results.
Thank you for sharing. I lost someone who I loved more than anything in 2019. She lived near Stockholm. The relationship ended with no closure.
I ghosted one person before and to this day live with the guilt. Looking back I see that my emotional immaturity made me do it. Never again.
Did you ever go back and apologize?
Go back and Apologize now! It's proper manners you will be lucky if they are still alive to hear your apology.
@@apartment353 yeah I did, he was kind enough to hear me out and to this day we continue to support each other
@@jfj876 i did calm down
LOL, dude. It isn't that big of a deal. The worst thing you could do now is contact them again. They most likely moved on and would not want to engage with you again and that's fine. Meet other people, there's literally billions of people.
very avoidant people can condition us into being afraid of asking those questions and truly connecting.. we all deserve better 😗🥺
Have experienced this few times, this fucking hurts. Sending you infinite solidarity, compassion and healing.
I don't whether anyone noticed that not only the storytelling and the story itself is so relatable and interesting but I adore how you started playing with different background souds and effects in this video. Marvelous job!
I love that you noticed this haha thank you!
@@LanaBlakelyI think you should also focus on the amount of times you have ghosted the “nice guys”
You got ghosted by a guy who just wanted sex from you .
Lana; I've been reluctant to watch this. Today it's playing because I was listening to a "Ted talk". I'd like to mention I am this American guy you don't even know. I'm not looking for a relationship due to my financial situation, maybe even religious but I'm agnostic knowing I'm not Christian, afraid I might be confused with atheist if I don't mention agnosticism. I greatly value our relationship as not even friends. Thank you so much for being.
Story time Lana is best Lana!
Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable! I would love to hear more about how you handled this situation and eventually got closure by yourself😊
great idea
i went through something similar but also different. i learned a lot about attachment theory which helped get me out of the intense mental distress. i think you also have a video about being okay being alone too. in learning about attachment theory i found that how i socialize is probably rooted a lot in how i relate to m parents and how they relate to each other, which is to say, pretty dysfunctionally. and it's not something that can be easily changed if at all. hence, the being alone. i think the prospects of mutuality and partnership have been so anemic that i go to that to find some kind of peace. i may just not be able to pick up social cues that you have to pick up, or maybe i don't have the social skills to access partners who are more of a prospect for mutuality. the peace i found was that everyone is probably struggling, including that guy who stopped contact with you. i would guess he was interested and he didn't know how to handle his feelings and left. and i think that's what my partner did when she sensed the same. but anyway, who knows. distressing stuff, but part of life i guess. thanks for the video
online friend did this to me, she doesn’t answer my texts on any of my socials yet she snaps me every single day. i wish i was strong enough to completely cut it off, unfriend her on snap but theres still that glimmer of hope in me that makes me believe we might become the best friends we were,
once again.
You need stop idolising this friendship and value yourself!
She seems to only care if she can get something out of you!
Stop wasting your own time …
You deserve a loving friend !
We definitely need more story times 💖
I got gosthed, and it hurt me pretty bad , it’s the cruelest thing you can ever do, specially if they have abandonment issues which I had.
I hope you came back stronger. It's not nice but the average man experiences ghosting regularly. Having said that both sides are guilty of it.
Look at you 😂 it was inevitable
Painful indeed.Keeep going upwards and onwards. Brush it aside and meditate a bit in the morning, inhale and exhale deeply.God bless you
I just want to mention that if a guy really wants you in his life, he'll tell you about the people he communicates with. Whether it's work, family, old friends, acquaintances... when I've been in a relationship, I have always tried to be open about things/people/experiences. If I want her in my life, she has to know my life. And I want to know hers, so that I can be in it.
I usually never comment on videos, but i just wanted to say that i think it's so brave of you to share this story with the internet. Love how you share such a vulnerable event and your insights. And if people are going to judge you for something like that, it says a lot more about them than about you. It's human to make mistakes and especially in your twenties. Thank you for making me feel less alone! Would love to see more videos like this from you ❤
In my first long term relationship, I was 'breakup ghosted'. 2.5 years together with her wanting future marriage. Seemingly good for months prior and then she suddenly initiated a fight when I told her I wasn't comfortable with her spending her entire birthday with a guy friend who flew across the country to see her instead of spending it together with me.
She hung up on me during our last conversation and her final words were "We're over. Bye". I was angry at her and so I just let it go, thinking she would apologize and we would get back together. Days turned to weeks, and after a month and a half I couldn't take it anymore and reached out. I told her I loved her and wanted to work on things... she did not. We had a great connection and I treated her well.
It's been 2 years and I have not yet found someone who I loved as much as her. Be careful who you give your heart to. Have more self respect than I did staying with someone who didn't want to put in effort, don't tolerate disrespect, and please pay attention to red flags early on. She did not end up dating that birthday guy as far as I know, and is now in another relationship mooching off another poor kind soul.
So sorry for what you went through. I agree people don't pay enough attention to red flags. Disrespect is not something that will just magically disappear, and we need to take it into account and not close are eyes in denial. I wish you luck and hope you find someone lovely!
@@kateginger Thank you! I have grown so much since that relationship, although I'm still healing from what happened. I like to believe that it ended for a reason and helped prepare me for the future person I'm meant to be with.
I hope you already have a special someone or if you're still looking that you meet them soon :)
Sorry to hear man, I'd imagine she was already moved on just didn't tell you until she has disconnected and it was easier for her.
Thank you for your thoughtful, heartwarming video about relationships! I'll be sure to watch and re-read it again should I ever get into dating again!
Hi Lana, I'm a big fan of your podcast. When will the S2 come out?
I like what you said about the warm hug vs the butterflies
I dont understand why people would judge you in this situation.
Yes in an ideal scenario you would have left ASAP but don't we all do stupid mistakes when in love?
We all ignore things we shouldn't. We all go through heartbreak to learn certain things.
Take it easy on yourself. You were young we all are once.
why are people making it so difficult for each other i don't get that just talk just say '' i'm sorry, i don't think this is gonna work out, i don't feel the attraction'' it's not that hard, yeah it's gonna hurt, but ghosting is disgusting idc what your mentality is just say it.
Even if you try to have conversations about the future, sometimes your partner will not be honest because they know if they do they will lose you. There is no real solution for ghosting, my suggestion is protecting yourself emotionally so that the ghosting event does not impact you as much as it normally would, anyways don't ghost people.. Be honest with your intentions, if its not for you then let it go.. because sometimes you might hurt someone without reason at all and trust me eventually karma will pay you back.
I would also add, when you’re asking them who they are texting or getting texts from… watch their facial expressions as this tells you so much about them
Thanks for sharing your experience. It's valuable not only for girls but also for boys, as it offers insights on how to navigate relationships and commit to the person they're dating.
I always enjoy your videos, and this is probably the first comment I've written on your channel!
your video is very comfort and calm for me, thank you
k but the first thought I had before even getting to the end of the video was: who in their right mind would be SO shortsighted to ghost Lana??! 🥴 I really appreciate you making this video. It's really interesting to hear your reflections on this relationship a few years later and see your growth since then 💕
Some dude who most likely just wanted her for the physical. He was probably handsome, tall, etc and had a bit of an ego, probably had an abundance of girls, and thought he could pick another up. Sad but possible.
What I do... If I see someone else texting too often, very weird; I don't ask, I just plan my going out from the life of that person.
IF she or he is secure of what he or she does; This is not suppose to happen. If it is; You should not even talk too much about it; Just telling her or she once SHOULD be enough.
I had a very similar situation(ship), though I was not ghosted, but "broken up with". From my side I definitely let several signs slip through the cracks. But I was very honest with that person about my intentions. He first said he was looking for the same thing, and then ten dates after it turned out that he was not ready for a relationship because "becoming a boyfriend is too much commitment". There were some things that I think could be attributed to his age (he was younger than me), but some other things were truly wild. And it took me here and a half months to get over it (the entire thing lasted only one and a half months). I think this also shows how damaging these situationships truly are. But I am happy that I am over it finally, and I did learn a ton from it. Never repeating those mistakes ever again!
Please do more storytimes!❤
I wonder what is going on in the head of such a person. I mean, is he a total coward or what? One at least can say: "Look, I do not think our relationship is going to get somewhere, it was a nice time, but I think it is better if we do no longer maintain contact to each other" or something like that. I mean, at least you should be honest and tell the person you are dating since a certain period you do no longer wish to continue "the thing". Simply pissing yourself of from one hour to the other is so cowardly.
Oh wow, I just realized that I was ghosted once. It's weird to give a definition for that moment but I think that was it, he stopped texting and didn't reach out anymore, he already wasn't much of a text person but he was on-line from time to time. Maybe after all we only shared common interests and then we drifted apart, starting with his choice 🍃
Thanks for sharing! Recently went through something similar (altho I am experienced, so IK what to do), so this was validating. Also, I love the calm tone of your vids… or IG that’s just your nature in general :)
Lana, this is a beautiful video. Very well done. Thank you for sharing your story. I agree with what you say about butterflies...it's not necessarily good to have them...really depends on the situation.
This is such a beautiful channel overall.. absolutely love her!! I learn and relate so much from you Lana.. big hugs❤❤❤
I don't know. . . on the one hand, ghosting is often an indication of a lack of social skills. . . but in the other hand, there are people you can't reason with when you have concerns you need to bring up, so I could see walking away quietly instead of wasting energy and getting into an argument. Sometimes it's safer to ghost than to put your life at risk, at least in the U.S.
Personally, if I even had the sense that someone was cheating on me, I'd rather ghost than put up with more disrespect like being told "you're so insecure and controlling".
can they at least leave a text that they are leaving and then start the ghosting?
@@aditisaini556it ain’t ghosting if you leave a note before doing it.
Whenever you're dating somebody you always have to ask questions, I think that a relationship without communication is not a relationship. Communication is the key. If for some reason that person doesn't like to answer your questions, that's a red flag, be careful with that. All that going out and having fun is great but you have to take the time to know the other person. I had to learn it the hard way too.
The more you logically look at a person, the harder it is to be shocked by ghosting. Values and Day to day living is a big sign if the relationship will work. You have to focus on those things first.
This has to be the first video on UA-cam i have seen after 1min its been uploaded. And good content by the way.
thanks !!
My story is quite similar, we've been seeing each other for about 5 months and all of a sudden he started ignoring me completely. Three weeks later he texted me saying he got together with someone else and then blocked me everywhere 😞 it's been 2 months and it still hurts, I really liked him 😕
that is terrible I am so sorry to hear that. Did you meet on a dating app?
@@Dancediva240 we actually met online but not on a dating app
And he lives pretty close to me lol
You will be ok
😖 I know that pain b. Feels bad. Let them, if ain't meant to be it ain't meant to he.
Ghosting a person isn’t right. If you feel that a relationship isn’t working out you need to tell the other person.
lol that is not how chads work. That is why women who only chase chads in the end say all men are bad and become toxic with a misandry mindset because they only chase chads, while the other 95% of men are ignored. Betting one of that 95% ignored had the one they were looking for, but people are vain theses days and ignorance is bliss. Infact This man she is waffling on about is who she compares everyman to. She wants that feeling (instant connection) she had with him with a personality of all the men she ignores. Big difference between lust and love.
@@matfudge1143 you are just projecting, get off the internet. you have incel mindset.
Well thankfully people who were my so called friends ghosted me so I could focus more on those who didn't ghost me and kept in touch. During covid I learnt the hard way people come and go...
And by the way, I really liked this video format too.
I’m 48 and have been alone since 2001. I’m used to it now and quite enjoy it. I am a bit concerned though for the younger generation, because the use of technology has lead to an increase in toxic behaviours. Due to this a lot of people have just had enough or are struggling to form relationships and start families (yes humans are social creatures that procreate) this isn’t to bash technology but as a 70’s child I can see how this has happened. It’s sad to read the comments of so many people who are saying “had enough of this etc” especially when they are so young ❤ x
Sorry that happened to you. Good tips and indications to look out for.
💗💗🌸🌸Stay blessed ! I can't believe someone can ghost a beautiful person like you 🤍🤍
Ahh Lana.. how I remember I was ghosted.. always ashamed of it.. but suddenly feel ok to see you, hear you and how to shared your exp. Thank you Lana, I have such an earge to meet you now.
Why are you ashamed? Ghosting has nothing to do with you, but everything with the one who ghosts.
I've just been ghosted, and I reached this video. You gave me peace and ease. Thank you❤
I would never ghost you, Lana; you are one of the most beautiful woman on UA-cam
Lana, listening to you is soul comforting!
If you plan to visit India ever, which you should, would love to host you, let me know when you are up for the spiritual retreat.