Why You Feel Like You Don't Belong
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- Опубліковано 26 жов 2019
- Please like the video.
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Have you ever felt like you don't belong? I don't think I've ever experienced that feeling as intensely as I did when moved back from the US to Sweden. I knew I had to deal with it, so I did, and I learned a lot. In today's video, I share part of my experience on that.
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#SonyA7III #belonging #livingabroad
Feeling like you don't belong, how to deal with feeling like you don't belong, feeling lost, feeling confused, how to belong, why you don't belong, why you feel like you don't belong, living abroad, travelling abroad, Los Angeles, Stockholm, exchange student. - Навчання та стиль
I've never spent this much time editing. Each like on the video equates to 1 minute of back massage. Let's see how many minutes we can get. Thanks.
The best book is the bible :)
I liked the video so I basically am a masseuse. See ya later virgins.
Quality work! The painstaking attention to detail is quite evident. You take this work seriously. And You're very, very talented. I'll be sharing this video (and your channel) with a certain friend of mine. ... Best
Lana Blakely Hi Lana - I am having an unsettling experience where I feel a lack of sense of belonging and now I am thinking of going back, but I am not certain. Can I share this with you and get your opinion? Your videos are brilliant and artistic by the way
It's not about figuring out WHO you are. It's about figuring out WHAT you are--what kind of creature. Heraclitus said, "Chickens bathe in dust, pigs in filth." Pigs bathe in filth to keep the flies from biting. What kind of creature are you by nature? How much can you allow your nature to express itself? You can never change your nature. Instead, this video is full of cliches and redundant platitudes. It's worthless, and was a waste of ten minutes.
I don’t drink, smoke, go out to parties or clubs, get involved in casual sex. I just workout, go out to run, go to work, journal, am always by myself, have 1 friend I talk to but mostly like every 4 months. I just don’t fit in into any group or clique. I’ve always felt like I don’t belong anywhere yet I love my alone time to the point where it’s everyday. It’s lonely sometimes but I always come back to myself.
Do make an effort to socialize or you will die on the inside. Happened to me due to social anxiety, I am now trying to crawl out of this hole of isolation but it was definitely an eye opening experience. Unless you have autism you NEED people for your well being.
@@katenka_ana3997 you don't need friends
Interacting with people is necessary, but having friends actually isn’t.
I am the same. Real-life energy flows in the deep silence. Chatter empties life energy. I rather read a good book or learn something new than waste my time with superficial people. Now I have 2 Bachelors, study medicine right now, learned 7 languages, speak fluently 4, and life inspires me to do more while most of my school friends and relatives are struggling with ex-boyfriends, ex-husband or wife patchwork family. Of course, I do not feel like I belong to anywhere but at the same time I think deeply about life and the human condition.
great nadya ur friend egypt
I’m quiet mostly, however when I do talk, people talks over me. Like I’m not heard, so it feels like it’s better to be quiet than to be ignored. (To everyone in the comment section; although you feel like you’re alone, you’re not. You just need to believe that someday you will find someone that is worth your time and energy)
Sending u love..
Find people worth talking to. Ultimately you have nature and the unknown. You are legitimate
so i perfer talking to one guy at a time only. people are not really listening in the group
Girl, *SAME*
honestly.. im socially awkward and when i want to talk to ppl i dont even rly know how to approach them without being awkward or weird so i just don talk..
I don't know how to describe that. Every time I do something with friends, the next day I always have to think about whether I did something wrong or what they think about me.
happens the same to me.
You guys aren't alone. Me too!! 😶
Happens when with fam and friends as well... i feel that im just a nuisance to them
And whenever people gives me complements and affection, it feels odd because i don't feel it often
God !. I thought it was only me who felt like that
I just feel like I don’t belong in this world anymore I don’t even know why I’m here
I love you and your comment I relate
Please stay❤
marcus24000 but it hurts to see everyone happy when I’m not even hapy
Cheese on Toast I will please stay also ❤️
pain master love you too ❤️❤️
Home is not a place. Home is where your heart is.
Who would have expected seeing you here😄
Boom !
Wow, TechLead here. Just seen your video 🙂
why hello there techlead
Whoa Tech Lead is here
"Home is not a place, home is a person, it's you"
That was so deep 😢 I just realize it....
Yep, it was so obvious but imposible to guess at the same time.. can anyone relate?
Yeah...
It made me emotional.
I'm 56 years old and I've known from a very young age that I didn't belong anywhere and I'm ok with that. I live alone I work alone. I've tried hanging out with people but people just irritate the hell out of me. So I guess being alone is where I belong.
I don't know how to describe that. Every time I do something with friends, the next day I always have to think about whether I did something wrong or what they think about me.
@@Marco_PoLo-bz1kq same here
Can I ask what is your job?
@@melissa-5670 heavy equipment operator
@@Wheelloader__ I see, thanks
God this girl is beautiful, the way she thinks, how she looks.
Keep this like counter at 69...
And i'll give you a medal
edit: nvm its at 152 now
NICE one
ASK her for a date :)
Lana is so lovely and eloquent with her speech.
I know right 😭💗💗
i believe i found myself by traveling alone because when i was with my friends i never noticed my own presence and what is it that i actually want to do and see
I am definitely going to try it. I used to think it was a weird thought to travel alone. I guess i am not alone. Thank you!
Same here. I totally agree with you. Travelling alone is the best. I am glad that I have been doing it for some time. I've learned so much about myself. I've got to know myself deeply. And I feel very grateful that I had the chance to travel alone a lot.
For me its the reverse, I notice my presence so strongly I ignore others.. its a problem.. its like i don't want any body to interact with me..
Maybe I should try it.. what are places where you can travel alone as a woman and remain to feel save? Because for me that is the scary part, I just want to enjoy it instead of having fear that I'm not save. (Stupid fears..)
I am so used to be ignored by my friends that I thought that I was weird and everyone would reject me. Now I maybe think that I'm just in a bad place.
Thanks random stranger. You helped me more than you think.
Looking in her eyes make me feel so comfortable.
That was creepy
have to say , I felt the same
Really? Why? I feel more like a calm reassurance from her eyes.
jehkjshrfk 🤣
@@jehkjshrfk
Calm down, it seems like every compliment about an online creator is "creepy" in 2019. (S)he didn't even say anything sexual.
When you feel comfort and peace, then that's home.
Thank u ..❤️
Yes most of the time but i think its part of my existence
I feel home in this comment, thank you❤️
this video
That's another thing home I had a good paying job taking care of my daughter lost my job then my cars then to the streets and there still fuking with me their at the point that their planning to kill me they attempted already
Being an introvert, this has been my problem my entire life. I’ve been trying to so hard to fit in but end up being alone bec I couldn’t socialize well. And I don’t know if this is bec of pandemic, but lately, I really really just don’t want to socialize anymore.
Same here I hate being alone same work all the time. But being out and taking with other. Seemed more drained. :( I don't get it. I am not happy alone or in a gathering.
same sis, I'm also an introvert and have taken many personality tests abt it. It was confirmed over and over again.. I am an introvert and have struggled putting myself together with other people who I wanna jive with. I experienced being excluded and it felt odd and strange that later on in life, many people welcomed me and also I can say a good karma for me. I also struggle with making friends cuz I always have this thought that I am a bad conversationalist introvert and I prefer being inside in this pandemic, hoping it would last longer
I feel like that too, i'm just tired of people lol. But i also think its because the world is mainly shaped for the extroverts, so being an introvert is exausting in that sense, and sometimes we Just need to stop trying to be someone who we truly aren't
The same
@@anab9202 yes you are right it is exhausting. Being an introvert is really difficult. At this point i am just trying to survive on my own.
I adopted a rescue dog. The best decision I made! He is a great friend!
Bless you♡
i have cats and they're like my children
I often feel like I am the one who cares more. This feeling of not getting the same amount of love back I think I deserve hurts. On most days I just accept that I can’t force people to see as much in me as I see in them and that I can’t control wether they really want to get to know me or not. I know there is nothing I can do to change that but to try every day to give the love I carry in my heart and hope for it to be appreciated. But sometimes this feeling of not really being loved or cared about gets to me. I start to feel alone and like a stranger to everyone. Even to those who I know do care about me. I feel like everyone around me is just so superficial and no one really understands me. It feels like I don’t belong to this world. In these times of sadness just feel so alone. I often feel like this at school. My best friend and I go to different schools in different cities so at school I try to hide those feelings behind a smile and just have small talk which makes me feel even worse and more distanced because there is no meaning in those coversations. There is nothing that makes me feel connected to the person I am talking to. I don’t want to open up about these feelings to people I don’t feel safe around so I rather suffer in my own pain and pretend to be okay. I just don’t understand why it is so hard for me to find people I connect to on the same level and who want me as much in their lives as I want them to be in mine.
Thank you for spending your time to read this. I appreciate that ♥️
I feel you. I've also been feeling pretty lonely lately, wishing i had more good friends, instead of acquaintances i only make small talk with. But it feels good to know that i'm not the only one feeling that way. lots of love :))
I feel the exact same way.
Reading your comment made me feel like I could have written it myself. I hope all of these comments bring you a bit of peace and comfort
I feel the same way. You explained it perfectly.
I recommend doing the personality test on "16personalities.com".. It's free, and it helped me tremendously. I have a guess of what your personality type is (as I feel like I relate a lot to what you said and I feel like we might have the same type) but just check it out if you want ^^
I've been feeling this way all my life. and when it gets extremely overwhelming again, then I remember a soothing sentence I once heard:
"Thank God nobody has to live in this world forever."
So here's a brief account of my experience :
I often thought about the reasons why I always felt so disconnected from the groups that I was physically part of. It seemed like my insecurities of perceiving myself as not being funny or fun enough would never let me be comfortable or eass around them. Not to mention the social acting skills I had perfectly mastered that added to this feeling of being in hiding from others-how to come across as an extrovert , how to show others that you are enjoying the conversation (even when you're not) etc.
Omg same here! I feel likr im faking everything whrnever im with certain people. I feel insecure ab my personality and get scared if they think im annoying.
I’m an introvert and I have a group of friends who are extroverts. They are great people but are always talking! They understand that I am quiet and have no problems with it. It just makes me so tired to be around them! I just want to go in my room and read my books and sleep (I love to read books on music)! Even though they try to include me I feel that I don’t belong because I am quiet. When I do talk it’s usually brief.
For a second I thought it was me who wrote this comment. I can totally relate. They are great people but being around them just drains my energy. Not the kind of people I connect with. I enjoy with being with that person who I can share my silence with, without being awkward or uncomfortable or feeling the need to say something. I have handful of such kind. If you do too never let them go.
yasmin choudhury I do and she is awesome!!!!
Go leafs go!
Sachy Powell how?
So me ❤️
Every person should see this video. Especially young souls.
True
please find out what kind of introvert you are andl do things that require your natural strengths . When I was young and I tried rapping I had no idea that I was naturally gifted at it but I am because I am a Infp.
We need to find out our strengths so we can feel like we belong.
God has made us all efficiently and no one can fulfill our purpose
Matthew 24:7 King James Version (KJV)
7 For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places.
Kinginhabitat.com/scientists-hypothesize-why-earthquakes-happen-where-they-shouldnt/
kjv pronoun understanding starts with th
singular
if it begins with a y like you you're and yee then its plural
Matthew 24:5 King James Version (KJV)
5 For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many.
King James Version (KJV)
Fake Jesus in Siberia
ua-cam.com/video/n8BOMqks-gQ/v-deo.html
CNN Has said that aliens are real
ua-cam.com/video/60ZJQ4I7_3M/v-deo.html
this is the Bibles explanation
Explanation of aliens
and please read king james version of the Bible ezekiel chapter 1:5-22 its numbered you can't miss it
www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Ezekiel-Chapter-1/
since the angels of God have control over UFOs the fallen angels also have controls over their own Ufo's.
the sons of Anak are of the giants
Numbers 13:33 states this
And there we saw the giants, the sons of Anak, which come of the giants: and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight.
the giants were created from fallen angels
Genesis 6:1-4
And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them,
2 That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.
3 And the Lord said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years.
4 There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.
and please read king james version of the Bible ezekiel chapter 1:5-22 its numbered you can't miss it
www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Ezekiel-Chapter-1/
since the angels of God have control over UFOs the fallen angels also have controls over their own Ufo's.
the sons of Anak are of the giants
Numbers 13:33 states this
And there we saw the giants, the sons of Anak, which come of the giants: and we were in our own sight as grasshoppers, and so we were in their sight.
the giants were created from fallen angels
Genesis 6:1-4
And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them,
2 That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.
3 And the Lord said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years.
4 There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.
Yeah exactly
I don’t belong where i am. i want to live my life close to nature, covered in green. your videos are so peaceful, like home, like nature.
Same...it's my dream and goal to live close to nature and practice slow living (put meaning in every action)
I am a nature lover too. It's like a calling on my entire being. I often tell my family that I am going to live in a cottage in some far off woods somewhere,that's my dream.
@@kewanagooden1386 thats my dream too my friend, no luxury, no internet, fully analogue life, hope the creator will make our wishes come true.
@@2802mdah Yes, finally someone gets me. Whenever I'm amongst greenery or in a forest, I feel like I belong. I'm glad I'm not alone 😊
@@kewanagooden1386 ❤️💜🧡🖤💛🤍💚🤎💙
Im a person who is really social at family gatherings ,hangouts or whenever i see my friends but deep down inside i just feel like i dont belong here nd really lonely... nd despite being so nice to pple, pple just dont treat me right i just feel so left out.
Famia malik me too :/ i feel like I always have to be that happy person that’s always okay.
Mee too be strong ❤️ darling
you're not alone my guy
Lana: Have you ever felt like you don't belong??
Me: All the time, MY ENTIRE LIFE, Girllll
Same here
Hi everyone, thanks for the likes, lol
Same
tribe, ive found you.
That's the same way it's been my whole life to.
I believe the feeling of not belonging comes more strongly to the introverted who have strong emotions. For myself I feel like I most belong around people who are authentic and not wrapped up in social status. I’ve grown to detest the judgments people hand out to others based on looks, money, strength, social circles or education. Sometimes I do qualify to fit into these social groups, but I hate it because they are cruel to those that do not.
I believe that the feeling of not belonging comes to introverted and extroverted people. But we (the introverted people) are so deeply connected with ourselves that we do not try/want to change ourselves to fit the standard and I see that as a great advantage to achieve happiness.
Something I have learned in the past two years is that :
1. I don't feel like I do not belong to certain scenarios/groups/lifestyles.
2. I certainly KNOW that I do not belong to a lot of those.
3. I am perfectly happy about not belonging because that means I am deeply getting to know myself, my ideas, dreams and the spark of my happiness. I'd like to note that happiness is a decision , not just a superficial feeling.
4. Not a single person in this world belongs everywhere and that is the beauty of this because we all have different ideas, thoughts, dreams, etc. That together can make a better and happier future.
I feel the same way. People are so cruel.
I feel you
and this is why I prefer to stay at home and isolate myself 😂 I fear anyone I get to know will judge me for the mess that is my life, for my age and that I dont want to start studying at uni asap, and that maybe want to try sexwork.
How to I find open minded people...? How lovely it would be to feel accepted by people you like. I dont even know where to start though & I've grown too comfortable in my isolation.
Sophie May I totally relate to your comments. I would like to mention though that the older you get, the more you realize everybody’s life is a mess in their own way. There’s professionals that make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year and they realize that they’ve done all that hard and miserable work because others told them they should. Not because they wanted to. Nobody is better than anybody else, though we all have different skill sets. It’s just mankind in general places higher value on some skill sets than others which is harmful.
The title of this video is basically my life. From my family, to elementary, middle and high school, every job I've had and even my military career I never fit in. I've always been the odd man out. It's like I'm invisible and no one can hear me when I talk. It's so hard just to get out of bed and do basic hygiene some days
"the answer was that feeling at home isn't exactly about where in the world you are, it's about realizing that home is a person, it's you. No matter where in the world."
Can we just take a moment to appreciate how well edited this video is
Yes. I actually made a note of that in the Presenter's Comment. Good call!
And also how pretty she is, lets take a min.
Thank you :-)
Lana Blakely please do show us! Would that be possible?
makes it feel like shes an AI i dont know why
My doctor said that I am completely in detached mode. I don’t feel home anywhere and I don’t feel connected to people or things. It is really sad.
He said that I am not depressed but I am detached completely.
I’m 82 and for years I didn’t feel that I belonged anywhere, I didn’t like myself, I thought I was ugly and felt stupid, yet I didn’t feel like that when I was home by myself; I liked what I saw in the mirror, I felt smart and beautiful. Through faking it I was somehow making it but always sad, unfulfilled , angry and unhappy on the inside. For years I couldn’t understand why. So I searched, always out there and never finding it. For whatever reasons, too many and personal to go in details here. but I finally realized that when in group I allowed the group to define me, at least in my head. Having finally realized that I began searching for answers. Started with breathing exercises and meditation. It took some time, in my case several years of breathing and meditation, but once I felt my real self I have never felt better. Sometimes it takes time through books and practice. Life has never felt better and I have never felt more grateful for everything. Hang in there and look for what gives you joy when you are by yourself.
I always wanted to exist in my own little world. But now that I do, I'm lonelier than I ever knew could be possible.
The topic of "not belonging" is very personal. Honestly, it hits close to home.
I've been feeling this way for the past I don't know how many years, and lately I've been feeling it strongly.
It's draining, when I'm amongst a group of extroverts and they constantly talk.. and as an introvert, I start to feel as though I don't belong there.. or anywhere for that matter.
And then I constantly worry (been working on it) about what people perceive of me when I turn quite or don't join in on a conversation..
Some even point out how quite I am and I start to overthink. I know I shouldn't bother.. and I try not to.
Well, sometimes it hurts.. and sometimes it feels like an opportunity to know myself better.
Thank you, for making these videos. It really helps and feels good to be reminded I'm not alone. ❤️
I feel the same way and that's feeling's the worse :( people often ask me why I'm so quiet and make me feel as if that's a bad thing. I can't figure out how to stop wanting to please others and care only about what makes ME happy, but then fear that there's actually something wrong with me that I should fix :(
Usually when people point out to you that your quiet they want to talk with you but if you respond and then they rant over you which usually happens it just means they are attention seeking and you don't have to feel out of place. They just actually want someone to talk to them.
Or really listen. But you can feel free to decline.
Cant agree enough with this. I feel the same way too
I m actually too much alone
I’m a born again Christian and loved everything you shared on this video. I’ve been on the same journey. Only small difference is that instead of saying I am my home. I no longer live, Christ lives in me and he told me he is my home. Wherever I go. He’s always been with me and when I lean into him. I feel like I belong again. Thank you for the video.
I feel like this every day. What I like to do is think of all the things I'm grateful for and count all the things I'm doing to love myself better.
count your blessings XD
The feeling of not belonging... I could go on and on about this, and am actually in the middle of creating something to explain the underlying psychology of this in great detail. Think about this: the difference between a comedian who's having a bad night getting heckled and booed with no one laughing at his (or her) jokes vs. having an amazing night with total influence over the crowd's emotions and making everyone laugh on command. Same person, different psychological state.
The difference lies in their energy and what I call "conscious polarity" which basically means that on the bad night, he (or she) is self conscious and viewing himself through what he imagines to be the judgmental eyes of other people, basically worried about what they think, feeling that they are looking down on him, feeling inadequate and inferior, behaving in reaction to what he thinks they are thinking. And on the good night he is looking through his own eyes, influencing the crowd, unconcerned about any negative opinions, assuming that he is liked, and freely expressing himself. So on the bad night, he feels he is within the world of the crowd to which he is inferior and doesn't belong, and on the good night he feels accepted and that the crowd is within his world. Negative vs positive polarity. The feeling of being looked at/judged vs. looking out at the world through your own eyes.
This is an example of a modern human manifestation of a very ancient primordial psychology that dates back hundreds of millions of years in evolution to predator-prey relationships in nature. To put it simply, the feeling of being watched/ being in the eyes of a predator has evolved in human psychology to become the self-conscious feeling of being judged or of not belonging to the group. And this polarity plays out in all aspects of human psychology (notably including the psychology underlying sexual attraction).
And this example of the comedian is the same thing as a general feeling of not belonging in society, the only difference is that there's no visible "crowd" in front of us. But the "crowd" still exists unconsciously in our minds as a general representation of society or some group of people. And the feeling of not belonging is basically an unconscious assumption that if we express ourselves, then this "crowd" will judge us and reject us.
So there's a desire to try and "fit in" to what we imagine the crowd/other people wants us to do.
But it's possible to break free of this and flip this polarity, and to change our unconscious relationship with "the crowd" on a very deep level over time. On a superficial level, you basically have to pass through a barrier of fear and build social momentum in order to get there. But on a deep unconscious level, just like a comedian, you need to pass through all the rejection and heckling and horrible nights along the way in order to build up the strength and independent energy over time so that the possibility of being socially rejected by "the crowd" no longer affects you, and you become more and more free to express yourself without the self-conscious fear of negative judgement basically trapping you inside of yourself.
Anyways this might not make much sense, it's too complicated to explain in a youtube comment, but it's my mission in life to take this knowledge and present it to the world in a way that people can understand and systematically apply in order to transform themselves (although it won't be for everyone, only those who resonate and are willing to work hard and suffer).
PS: nice video
What a great way of explaining. I have never thought about it this way. Do you suggest any self-help books regarding this issue?
@@sadafm8757 Cool, glad you like it. Sorry no book recommendations, I learned this mostly through my own experience and analysis. Maybe after I launch my business and youtube channel I'll reply to you again and let you know
Incredible, just with this comment you sir made my day. Thank you!
This is a great explanation. Do you have any published research or any kind of work regarding this? If so, pls do share because I think your reasoning has a strong rationale to it.
i was just wondering about that .amazing explanation.thank you for sharing !
It is so true that we often pretend to be someone we are not to feel belonged.
From an old Phil Collins song:
"Well it really don't matter much where you are,
'Cause home is in your heart.
It's a feeling that you wake with one day."
I’ve noticed the bigger the group, the more lonely I feel. I try to keep my group small or at least attend very little parties. I noticed that no matter what physical place or physical things you have, it’s all about appreciating yourself. Honestly I can look at myself now and think I’m a cool but I still have lots of new things I want to explore. Thanks for this wholesome content 😄
I’ve lived in 6 different countries growing up, it never gets easier when you move to a place (whether it’s old or new). I’ve learned where you are can always become home, it just takes time.
@@sarfaroshkhan304 🤔You must think your a philosopher or something lol. Masara's comment was very true and straight to the point. I think she's got things pretty well figured out, especially by seeing so many different places. I don't think she needs an enlightening lecture.☮🤙🏼
😎💐Masara, you seem like a very wise and beautiful woman! I wish I had the experience of living in so many different countries! Life is short and it's so cool to see as much of the world as possible!☮💙🤙🏼
My spirit animal is the snail for that exact reason. The snail carries it's home with itself. It does things slow indeed, yes, but things do take their time.
Home is where ever you are. But what defines the home, is you. So who are you? What do you want in your home?
Now go out into the world, taking your time, carrying that home of yours with you, and find out.
Oh that's a lovely way to look at it ^^
Almost my whole life I feel like I don’t belong anywhere. I was looking for myself for really really long time and after finding my “real” myself I felt even more disconnected with life than ever before. I realised I was surrounded by so many toxic people that I started to hate people in general. Maybe I did some bad decisions. I got rid off almost everyone in my life and ended up being not only lonely but also completely alone. As times goes by I realised I haven’t seen people for weeks. Weeks turned into months. I live in a complete isolation and I am afraid I won’t find the connection anymore. I am afraid I can’t carry on any longer. I am afraid I already lost my battle. I wish everyone good luck with whatever you’re dealing right now.
Do you want to talk?
Try to know yourself, your core values ,your fears, insecureties, limiting beliefs and once you face them. You will also know which kind of people you like being with. Most importantly , you will be fine with yourself ( I never use happy as its too outstretch word) . You will not run away from yourself and moreover you will not find that content in outside environmemt,people etc. In a way, you would also find people you can befriend with because you know yourself. Being with those friends /people would be ease ofcourse like any relationship this will need nurturing too . But, you know yourself and how to understand yourself and communicate and understand others.
What helped me in finding people I can truly call friends is to go out. Start a study you REALLY want to do, not something you sorta want cause what else? Get a job you really enjoy or start a course for a skill or sport you've always wanted. I used to life in complete isolation as well. Now Im working so I can move to another country for a while and take a diving course. After that I wanna learn how to surf in Hawaii or some shit, cause why not? There's nothing stopping me except myself. I hated my life where I was so the only way to get better was to change, and if that meant throwing my entire life away so be it, it was shit anyway. It could only get better from that point. You haven't lost the fight yet, it's not too late to make a change.
i've been going through a lot of anxiety and depression recently, and i feel like i need a constant background sound to do even simple homework assignments without spiraling in silence. i listen to lana quite often while doing tasks and tuning in every now and then is just really comforting, hearing you share your thoughts and experiences. thank you, and i wish the best to anyone reading this- i promise you'll find your place one day
I have never felt a sense of belonging and I don't search for it either. I don't ask anymore from life than a roof over my head, enough food in my kitchen and enough books on my shelf. If someone wants to talk to me I talk to them, if someone doesn't want to talk to me I don't talk to them but I never expect any sense of belonging from that. Of course, you will meet a lot of people with whom you have very few things in common and a lot not in common, it doesn't really matter much to me. I lived most my life in Bangladesh and have been living in Finland for more than 3 years but I didn't feel I belonged in any of those countries. Best thing for me is to stay in my room and watch movies and read books. But I understand the importance of human interaction so I would listen to anyone who would have something to say but I do not expect any attachment from any of that
You should push yourself to go out more. Maybe a better balance between social and alone time
U said a lot of meaningful things. But John is right. Try to go outside and see where things go. Your room is not your only option.
@@johndouglas7213 If it was as easy as that I'm sure Arafat would have done it. The issue for him and many others leaving comments here is that we have nothing in common with most people. So going out to just connect with these typical types of people is unsatisfying and leaves you feeling lonelier. So for now he has accepted his situation. The only other solution is to seek out like minded people in certain groups etc. although that will still involve a lot of trial and error. It also depends upon if you live in a big enough city. For example, I'd like to find a meet up group of INFPs, but there is nothing like that in the small city we live in.
I've always been a misfit.
SAME.
don’t say that. learn to love and appreciate yourself first
As many writing here, I feel most lonely when among people. Also, I noticed very clearly the feeling of not belonging when I came back home to Poland from the USA after five years of staying there. Now I travel abroad frequently for work purposes, and my feeling of not belonging increases with each year. I think it's because my experiences are so much different to the experiences of my family and friends.
👌🏼 I think it's because my experiences are so much different than other people
I relate so much , I feel like I never belong since I was a kid , I always wanted to quit home and live alone , so at my 21 I did , I lived with my boyfriend and I felt worse because it wasn't what I wanted exactly, I wanted to feel peace to be alone for some times , not to be involved in another person's life and problems, so it wasn't the place it was me , i want to draw , to sing , to dance to meditate and eat healthy alone in a free way , it caused me depression for years because I just like art and creativity I want to be around open minded people who understand me and be there when I need them and let me alone when I need peace
I just want to say (not to sound preachy and judgemental) but all place I really felt peace is by Jesus Christ once I TRULY lived for Him and not for myself or this world❤️🌼
hey did you ever consider starting a podcast
yup podcast... this would be great while driving, with all the emotions...
Joe Anderson True, but with a podcast she could upload more often because you don’t have to worry about editing and filming.
i'd love that omg
Yess please
ua-cam.com/video/DoqtfpPOlJo/v-deo.html
That is a normal feeling. Every time I go back home from a travel abroad, I feel I do not belong where my home is. I even feel I do not relate with people I used to see. The food has no the same taste as before. The language does not look the same. It's a strange feeling of never having being there before.
Where is my home? I don't know. Inside of me? May be.
I shall mention that in order to dive deeper in the new surroundings I explore, I mostly travel alone. That way, the only interactions I have are between me and my new environment.
I quit my job a week ago and I am at a time right now.. trying to figure out who I am, and what I really want to do. I am trying to go back to my roots and see what I really enjoy doing, instead of what the people around me keep forcing me to do and who to be. Thank you for this video
this vídeo make me understand that no matter where i’m or who i’m with if i’m not comfortable with myself i’m always feel empty and lonely 😔
omg, i can relate so much to this video! there where often situations that i felt left out, it was very unconfortable. even when i was with friends or people i thought who were my friends. but i learned a lot about me because of these moments. i dont force myself anymore. great video!
Me too. I just feel I don't belong whenever I see group of friends. Mostly in my uni.
Your eyes are the most beautiful thing, though they seem humble.
@@deathrager2404 wow,you've got alot of hate on your back.
@@deathrager2404 the easiest in the west*.Also "you fall for this entitled princess playing a victim " sounds pretty petty pal.But actually I agree on that,women have it easier.Maybe yall are paying for years and years of misogny and sexism. Still it doesnt mean that she is a princess or that women cant have problems as well and we a free to talk about it.If you dont like it why are you even watching HER videos lol?
@@deathrager2404 you said "stop complaining" and at the same time complained about women having it easier. Nice
@@deathrager2404 you complaining was the obvious thing, but ok.
@@deathrager2404 seems like you can relate well to the feeling of not belonging (unless you can't even see that in your own life, but eventually you will)
Don’t live life by the worlds standards and do what you love. That is my motto in life
For me, I try to fit in and belong somewhere but everytime I try, I get shut down and pushed away by people. All I've wanted to do is make connections with someone and just be a regular kid for once. But it's exceedingly hard to do that when nobody wants to connect back with me. Constantly being shutdown like this makes me lose motivation of ever trying to make deep relationships and makes me feel insecure about myself. I always think maybe it's because how I look? Maybe it's because my voice is annoying? Or maybe my personality isn't good enough. These things lead me to changing myself to become a person I don't feel like is myself and putting up a fake mask. Even though I always want to be my true self, I feel like I'll be outcasted by showing who I really am. It's like a neverending cycle and I don't know how to get out of it. Sometimes I forget who I truly am, and the one thing that reminds of my true self is whenever I look at my dog. I feel like I can be myself around my own dog because I feel like I won't be judged. I just want to have a friend who truly understands me and I feel comfortable around to be myself. It's been years since I had a genuine laugh while being with another person. I'd say, all I want is to experience that again.
You found any solution,I am facing the same problem please help
You are most probably “INFJ” like me, cause I’m INFJ and I feel your vibration like myself. Best wishes and keep looking straight forward 😉
Agreed
i am intj and i feel too
I’m an INFJ and I always feel like this too! So I just keep roaming...
me 2 , its truly the way INFJ feels
I'm INTP...I actually agree with this..and relate to it
This is so beautiful. I feel like the sense of belonging comes only once you realise who you are + find people you can share that with. Even though I'm an introvert I still feel that finding out about yourself is 70% of the battle done and the other 30% we can achieve by finding like minded people with who we can share our most authentic self with. That's was completes it.
Totally agree with this! And by spending time with those who you can be your authentic self around you also find more out about yourself.
Lana's words and her manner of speaking, as in her "presence", display an impressive state of peace within. Wow. And besides that, her physical presence is radically gorgeous. Beauty --- inside and out.
I've always felt like an apple surrounded by oranges...so to speak.
I've learned to set boundaries..speak my truth, be myself and let go. Setting boundaries is like a spaghetti
Strainer: those who dont belong with you..will fall through the holes.and the good ones...the noodles, will stay.
Know who you are. Set standards set boundaries.
Dont waste time with the wrong folks...know who you are. Follow your passions....the right people will eventually appear.
I just turned 30. I'll admit it's frustrating to realize I still don't feel like I belong anywhere, having lived in multiple countries. I'm constantly thinking about where in the world I should live next, expecting the feeling to magically fade away!
very similar for me, probably we are just running away from ourselves.
I feel not belonging and being detached from a community is one and the same. But over the years I’ve come to accept this and make peace with it. As a result, home becomes the self. In an increasing Age of Loneliness, we are all slowly turning into quiet poets and philosophers..
Räkān feel the same...
The last part is so true about becoming quiet poets and philosopers.
Lana Blakely, I have never felt like I belong on this planet, right from my earliest childhood memories to the present day! At the age of 57, I have discovered ( after seeing a neurologist due to a recent head injury that led me down a path of discovery), that I have Aspergers syndrome, inattentive ADHD and Alexithymia. My new path on life's journey has now been revealed and I think that it is gonna be one helluva ride :). your words of wisdom are an inspiring !!
I think the most important thing to keep in mind is "to not care about what people think about us" 'cause if you let that happen then you'll probably end up doing stuff people expect from us. I have a few friends (and i struggled with losing lots of "friends" years back) but now i accept that the problem is not me: the problem is the average thinking of people i left behind. But now i'm just surrounded by throw friends..5 or 6 but throw friend :)
Great, now im crying. I've been spending so much time in my head recently thinking about these problems you talk about in this video. Thank you for being you
Thank you for watching
I wish I could find a friend like you in my country..
One thing I learnt in life is "Being Alone is Sad, but Sadder is when you're with the person who makes you feel Lonely".
"If the world hates you, understand that it hated Me first." - Jesus
Amen
🤍🤍🤍🤍
💖🙏
What Bible is this from?
I feel like your channel has a similar vibe and atmosphere as Nathaniel Drew's and I really enjoy watching both of you!
yves pochara do you know Matt D’avella?
@@isabel8088 wow I subscribed both
@@isabel8088 matt has a more comedic approach imo
Daffa Rabbani but the content it’s similar, the difference is how the information is presented
Winter Tree yes i know him, i just dont watch him, i find Nathaniel and Lana much more interesting
i dont belong where i currently live and work. the cultural difference is so vast that i am hated for being who i am. its painful, its traumatizing, but im holding out for now. i know its not permanent, nothing is. i hate suffering when i could be happy but it is what it is.
@Yasser Rechouk its a small town but im from a big city. the mindset and maturity is vastly polar opposite.
@Yasser Rechouk sometimes. my friends live far away but they understand my mind pretty well. its just, i come across as intense alot and people run.
The day we feel like we belong is the day we learn that we no longer have to wear a mask.
WELL SPOKEN 👍❤
Glad I saw this in my UA-cam recommendations at the perfect time when I am feeling like I don't belong in the world anymore and sub consciously thinking there's no reason for my existence while at the same time having no one that gets me in any kind of meaningful way. I've always seem to feel this way but it only intensifies the older I get.
This really resonated with me. I was born in the US, but for the past 5 years I have lived in Cambodia. I met my fiancé here, and it is a long process for him to get to the US. In both places I feel like I'm still missing part of the other. I realized that I have been looking for "home" in finding friends, finding a new "home", but really I need to find it within myself. Thanks, Lana. Really loved this video.
I love your channel! I've recently started university as a 22 year old and I have this feeling of not belonging with the majority of people. I do enjoy my quiet time inside and am sometimes afraid of being judged for that. I can't wait for the time where I can just be myself around people and not care what they think- and vice versa!
Same I'm in ur situation rn been away from socializing for year n now being a part of an institution n interaction phew..it drains my energy but at the same time I crave for deep connections
I feel really associated with this video. I studied abroad in UK , then Masters in architecture in Italy and then worked in Germany for 6 months (so in total i have been abroad for almost 7 years). Now back at my place in Crete-been a year . I feel so so disconnected with people here and lonely that it gives me tears every now and then. I think indeed is all about adaptation. Thank you for this video i am glad i am not the only one being disoriented after coming back to the country i grew up.
This is really relatable to me. Sometimes I just don't feel like I belong or feel welcomed. I try to let it go, but I just can't get it off my head for some reason.
Again, the video that we all didn’t know we needed but we did.
Thank you
Thanks for watching :-)
Idk why but for some reason i feel comfortable watching ur vid n listening to u, gives me some kind of company.
When I went back to college last fall, I felt extremely disillusioned with my experience, like I was lacking purpose. In addition, my boyfriend had graduated and was now living in New York City, and it was difficult being apart from him. Come spring semester, I felt that the best thing for me to do was take a break from school, so I did. I feel like my time off has really helped me to re-center and figure out what my interests are -- I am coming to know myself better and therefore feel more of a sense of belonging.
I just came across your video and I was absolutely impressed with the quality as well as profound knowledge that you have provided for me...I have been feeling this way for the last 2 years and although it may not exactly resonate with the immediate subjects relating to your messages,it reminds me of a lone Gladiator who was hearing the cheer of the audience before he entered the arena and then upon release to the arena having to deal with the sole engagement of combat..only to return with victory or death...with absolutely no circle of friends or any other social network which supports his trifle endeavors...
Thank you
When I clicked on this video, didn't think this would be that good
I've come back to the UK after being in Spain for a year. It was the best experience of my life thus far and yet I had to leave it all behind. Being back 'home' in the UK didn't feel like home because I didn't have the same routine anymore. I had to start again, finding things to do and people to hang out with. I had to make it a home again. I've since moved back to uni and have to start this process all over again. The life of a vagabond
I Love this video. I felt every word deeply bc I've lived a very similar set of experiences. I'm almost 61yo. Although I once had lots of friends that life of superficialities always left me feeling empty. Now I spend 99% of my time alone even on birthdays and holidays I prefer to be alone. That being said; should I find friends who are authentic, sovereign and wide open I would love to spend time connecting. Synergy. Ultimately I feel that the Creator designed this Earthly matrix so that we constantly move closer to or perhaps back to our true essence. Which is love. I don't believe loneliness is supposed to be such a big part of our experience but needs to be felt and processed in order to evolve. Let's face it, Life is profoundly mysterious. For me I feel that as mysterious and confusing as this all is, it's going somewhere. Somewhere higher, more connected, more real and deeply meaningful. I wish the absolute best for each of us on this wild ride!!!
This video really means so much to me. My family and I moved from Sweden to Australia about 7 years ago and I’ve been missing Sweden ever since. I didn’t choose to move and not being home caused me a lot of pain. I was recently back in Sweden and thought many of these things during my time there. Your video has honestly brought me to tears and I’d just like to thank you. It means so much to me to hear someone else go through similar things and especially from Sweden. Thank you a thousand times again.
Beautiful video , soothing voice and accurate words . Keep it up ♥️👏🏽
Wow Lana, I'm so grateful you are sharing your wisdom with all of us. We learn so much from you, but also, we feel like we aren't alone thanks to your content! Thank you Lana for being who you are.
I can relate to this very much. I was keeping moving for the past 3 years, travelled for work and backpacked periodically abroad or in my hometown. Now I’m living in a brand new place for studying and expecting myself to settle down here. As keep moving is tiring, and not to mention relationships, any kind of relationships seem so far for me. When I go back to my hometown, I felt a sense of not belonging; when I come back to my current place, I realise I am actually always “missing”. Miss my friends’ baby shower, miss my parent’s birthday, miss Mother’s and Father’s Day, miss family gatherings and so on - I just feel more disconnected from everything everyone. I am actually quite accustomed to it and personally I don’t have much attachment to it. But just recently the feeling of “settling down” mentally, psychologically and physically makes me contemplate the sense of belonging.
Good thing is I have a way to let myself be creative and release my thoughts - I’m writing my dissertation about modern nomad and I was inspired by the shifty concept of home whilst I left home to here last year. We need to be able to fulfill ourselves first, to reach self-content and to realise nothing is permanent. This helps me a lot through the process of moving and travelling. Maybe we will never belong to anywhere and anybody but ourself!
Oh I can definitely relate to this. I have done many of things you mentioned in this video (committing to things I didn't really want to do, hanging out with people I didn't really want to hang out with, attempting to force myself to fit in with certain communities that maybe weren't the best fit for me, etc.), partly because I wanted to find someone to love, find my "people" or "my tribe" or my "best friends." I have met some great souls in that process. That said, I suppose I didn't find that sense of belonging, and still feel like I'm a bit of a lone wolf. This has led me to become more introspective, focused on being more my authentic self, focusing on what I really want to accomplish, and trying to follow the path of self realization. I think I have grown throughout the process. Sometimes it can be hard, and feelings of loneliness start to creep up, but I am fortunate to have people that care about me in my life, and I'm confident I'm on the right track to finding my true self, my 'tribe' and success.
Whenever I don’t feel like I belong, I also try to do more of what I love and it really helps. Thank you for this wonderful video! 🦋
As someone who has been going through an identity crisis lately, this video is extremely comforting. I think making peace with our identities is a part of life and something that one has to at least partially decide at some point. Travelling is extremely helpful. It breeds clarity of mind and puts frenzied thoughts relating to not belonging in a lot more perspective.
This was amazing. I am a slow learner and only recently realized my desire to belong. I have been hopping from place to place all my life. (Currently in LA for a long time) but never felt like I belonged anywhere or among any people. This video is a good step towards learning that.
Couldn't relate more.
Thank you, I thought I was the only one feeling this way, but now that I'm writing it down I realize what a crazy, egocentric belief this was.
What I love about this platform is its ability to connect us with "strangers" who are on the opposite side of the planet, that nonetheless feel so close when sharing their experiences, stories, lessons, and perspectives. We all are unique and alone in this world, but at the same time, we're all fundamentally the same and ONE.
Good job on your video as always. Ive never fit in anywhere. Its best to do what you want and find yourself when your single because when your married with a family that opportunity goes away
This one really touch me. Thank you❤ I've abandoned myself for so long trying to please other people. I usually feel not belong. When u wear a mask for so long that mask would finally sink into you that you end up could not connect with your true self and that is the time when you start to feel lack and never really belong to anywhere. Then it takes time and a lot of effort to find yourself back
Same
You have so much light in you. Thank for sharing your knowledge in the most humble way❤️☁️
Today I had some of my periods of loss, hopelessness, etc.,/ I've got them from the beginning of 2020 to now like most people nowadays/ and I decided to search for some kind of motivation video on UA-cam and I found you. Two years later I really have hope in myself that I can belong in only one place, in myself. Thank you!
This impacted me greatly. Most of my life has felt like living in a room full of mirrors that distorted at my insufficiencies...how self-centered & destructive, right? I am learning what it means to know myself & that the deep urge to seek out more is not a reflection of how I've failed myself, over & over. Rather, it's the source from which I grow & the energy that leads me to the places I need to go. When I think about it, it almost feels like I've been walking backwards all my life. I'm finally turning around. Much love~
Felt like my inner voice, listening to you. I grew up around the world but as a young teen my family finally settled in our home state of TX. After joining the military, the coming back home, living in NYC, going to university....nothing seemed grounded. I'm a consultant so travel is the norm. I have spent a lot of time in Dubai, Singapore etc. Visiting my family in tx is always nice, but it never feels like home. NYC seems like a crowded place with a lot of lonely ppl. So naturally looking at places and ppl for "home" is not the answer.
I think I find my grounding in being spiritual. It just helps quite a bit. I feel that we are meant for a higher purpose, not all of us, just ppl who have been places and experienced things and their wisdom starts to help them question their ways, surrounding and their life purpose. It happens in a subtle way, but it does change the way you feel about things and/or view things. When you're meant to be more and do more.....you never feel at home. You just need to make a home wherever you are.
Thanks for your video.
Hi! It's amazing how wise you are! Like you cannot imagine how many questions I've been asking to myself, but honestly I didn't even know where to start, so I kept traveling, thinking that it was the solution.
"Home it's me" you couldn't explain it better!
These are the words that I needed to hear.
I totally felt and still feel since I'm back home that weird feeling, but thanks to you, now I know where to start, on what to work with!
Thank you✨
I watched this about 5 times before deciding to comment. You are right. I am Romanian, I live in Scotland and I feel perfectly at home here. I couldn’t put in words why that is but you have and it resonates well with me. I got to your Chanel via another of your videos recommended to me by UA-cam and decided to subscribe to your Patreon as well. I love your insight, thank you for sharing it!
i moved to the czech republic from russia 3 years ago. i learned czech, actually still learning. from the beginning i could not feel that i belong. being embarrassed with my accent and language barrier made it clear that it is really hard to be myself, to express myself and be authentic. as person from small town in siberia everyone expects me to leave russia for my “better european future” and never come back. when i say to people that when i am finished with my bachelor degree i want to move back to saint-petersburg everyone just goes mad at me. i am in desperate hope that one day i would belong here. but the funny thing is that i know i won’t.
thank you for the video, it really helped me to answer some questions about myself..❤️
Thank-you Lana. I'm so grateful you have decided to share your thoughts and experiences with us through this channel. Very well appreciated .
Thank you Ava! :-)
Im an introvert, i like being alone, but yeah i do feel alone when i am in a crowd of people and sometimes when im with my friends, i just believe i was meant to be alone, i am 27 and never had a gf, i dont like going to family gatherings as well, when i do go to family gathering i just feel like i am left out, i just work, go to gym, come home, i look forward to traveling when covid situates
I don't think you understand how much I can connect to the things you say in your videos. Every thought you bring up hits home, it's like therapy. It's like making me look at something that I didn't want to look at for a long time. I now realized that I've never felt like I belonged where I grew up. So, when I finished school I moved to a bigger city 500 kilometers away to work at a place I always thought I wanted to work at. But it didn't turn out to be the way I hoped it would, in fact I put off the decision to quit for so long I had to be hospitalised for depression and panic disorder. So now I'm back where I grew up, and I still feel incredibly guilty about quitting, because even I left that harmful environment, I still don't feel like I belong.
But when I listen to the things you say at least I know that I'm not the only person that has felt and feels that way, and it gives me hope that I can eventually leave that feeling behind.