AITA for telling my dad he's not allowed to give his speech at my wedding? Dusty Reads & Reacts!
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- Опубліковано 25 сер 2024
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AITA for telling my dad he's not allowed to give his speech at my wedding?
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The fact that the dad didn't even have empathy for his son speaks volumes. OP is def NTA
People who make, or try to make, someone else’s wedding about themselves are ALWAYS the a**hole.
How do adults act like this? WHO writes a speech that mostly has nothing to do with their child’s marriage and thinks this is a good idea? NTA!!!!!! Dad sucks.
Set up a big picture of OP's mom in an ornate heavy picture frame, and put it in a chair of honor. Make a speech thanking everyone for coming to the wedding, then mention how great of a mom, and wife, OP's bio mom was. Do this before dad can somehow get up to the mike, and say how you would have loved to have her, and anyone who passed away, to be there that day. Dad can not say anything after that. If dad says something to OP afterwards say he is being sensitive, and unreasonable.
This is the winner 👏👏👏
I like this!
have OP light a candle in her memory at the altar to indicate that she is present in EVERYONE'S memory, OP should state while lighting that he is lighting it in honor of his BELOVED mother, say her name and say something about how while NOONE COULD EVER TAKE HER PLACE IN YOUR HEART, op is sure she is at peace and happy that he is happy
This clear is the dad lashing out because OP's mother died and left him to raise OP alone. He has not dealt with her death in any kind of healthy way. So to get some "revenge" on her for leaving he trash talkes her and praises the new wife for being there.
Dad needs therapy to get over the grief and hurt he has. OP is 100% correct in how he feels and what he is saying and not allowing this to happen.
The fact that he thought that it was ok to give a speech where he talked about how much he loved his new wife OVER his late wife is messed up. I can’t imagine someone saying that they loved a new woman way more than he loved his wife and being like “ yeah that’s ok to say in front of my child.” I suspect it’s partly laziness on his part to reuse the speech.
You never hikack someone else’s day!
That... That isn't how wedding speeches work. You don't get up and talk about your partner at *someone else's* wedding. OP's dad is an ASCON1 here - insecure, and seeking external validation fornhis partner and relationship. OP is NTA for shutting this down.
Since aunt gave OP the heads up on this, maybe she can try to talk to the dad? One speech does not fit all occasions. The one he plans is not for a father of the groom. If he cannot wish the newlyweds a long and happy marriage and say nice things about each of them, then sit down and STFU.
Definitely nta! My mom died when i was 7 and i never got a new one. My father never remarried but he had a 23 year long relationship before he passed.
NTA Dad is a TOTAL POS. it's OP's wedding NOT dad's. OP may need security to keep dad from speaking. at the wedding. So good he found the "love of his life" but to trash OP's mom on his 18th birthday and then wanting to do the same at his wedding? NFW
As his son, OP, he's not walking you down the aisle. Perhaps explaining that if he can't respect your wishes at your wedding, he need not attend. That if he attends and makes that speech, you'll cut all contract with him and he'll be escorted out. If you, OP, are convinced that he'll make that speech no matter what, uninvite and get security. It's YOUR day! NTA
... Why did I have the mental image of borat saying 'My wiiifffee'.
I could never be with someone like OP's dad. If someone says they never loved their first spouse, they are lying or a monster. I can accept "we were young and stupid" or "we wanted different things" or "love'em with all my heart, but we would have to killed each other" or "I'll miss them till the day I die". Sometimes love ends, sometimes it fades, sometimes it endures. But to claim it was never their, and a former spouse means nothing to you, that is monstrous. I'd rather share half a broken heart with a partner flowing with love, than own all the love from some heartless asshole.
This is beautiful and 💯 spot on.
OH HELL NO, NTA!!! Make sure your entire wedding party knows your father is not allowed to give a speech and to do whatever it takes to keep him from speaking, to talk over him, start playing loud music, ANYTHING. In fact, I would tell him this was my plan to keep him from speaking if he tried. If that results in him not attending, that's his problem, not yours. Put a BIG picture of your mother in a place of honor, both at the ceremony and at the reception.
Who wants to hear "Congratulations on your wedding, I hope you love your wife more than I didn't love your dead mom." Sheesh
The son did grow up and stood his ground. Isn’t that a sign of growing up? What else is the dad asking for?
Uninvited the dad and wife
What a self observed father the dead give away …the wedding on his son’s bday, saying, let’s make sure my son feels no appreciation in this life and praise the lady who fills an unhealthy hole in my life instead 🤦♀️
Tell everyone you're a narcissist, without telling everyone--oh wait; everybody already knows. So, hijacking OP's birthday to trash talk his mother and sing praises of new woman wasn't enough. He's gotta stomp on the wedding, too. Sounds like Dad hates his kid; hates/hated his late wife; is maybe a gold digger if new wife has money; or she gives the best...whatever he's into and thinks he can't get anywhere else. She definitely has him wrapped around her selfish pinky.
NTA, duh. Keep that man away from a microphone. If he so much as stands to make a toast, have security toss his ass out, then come back to escort the not-step-mom out, too.
"Grow up and be a man by doing as I say" 🙄
NTA. Wedding speeches should be about the bride and groom, not a couple that already got married. Dad could probably use some therapy. Could he be compensating for something, perhaps?
🧡💛
Why would you ever mention someone else in a wedding?
Besides a quick, "May your marriage be as long and full of love as mine, to my wonderful spouse." But end with a toast to the bride & groom (or bride & bride, groom & groom, the new couple).