Bro, I'm 45, married, 2 kids, health issues, and even I have long swaths of time where I feel lost and hopeless. Lots of people are in similar situations. You're not alone, keep on trying. Getting into the gym is a fantastic idea.
@@Ray1EGYPENARMAS1NDG It is, and it isn't "fair", but life isn't in general. The whole idea is to not let those external factors mess you up mentally. Seeing how thins guy went from depressed hopelessness to creative outlets is a massive motivation for many others. Emotionally sensitive people like ourselves need to create, to channel their minds to creative things regardless of field. And like Michaels pointed out you can be 'lost' and hopeless at any point in time, regardless of family status or socioeconomic status. Without a burning need to 'keep up' and after passing the defeated hopeless stage, keep your mind sharp and your soul rich and things will fit into place on their own.
I am 53 , tried everything , freelance, business , kept working an extra job still do, still living pay check to pay check, have never wasted money, rather sacrificed for family, in worldly terms I have nothing, still work 2 jobs, there is no option for me to think about self with many health problems too....For if i stop its over, that will be the way till I die or simply cannot work, and tell u what where I am, there are millions and millions of people worse off. It is what it is keep struggling and trying thats all.
Dude just keep these videos up, you might not see it but there is quite a big differance between these two videos. As much as your having a hard time, there is obvious growth from one video to the next and mate thats what its all about. if your enjoying working on youtube videos then keep doing it you can talk in front of a camera naturally which alot of people cant do, myself included. keep fucking about with editing and 3d printing. hang in there bro we are all rooting for you.
Hey Adam, I watched both of these videos, and I just wanted to say I'm so sorry you've been thrown into the grinder your entire life never getting a break. Im just a highschooler and struggling with pretty bad financial problems as well as some bad family drama, but seeing you go through so much hell and still fighting every day truly inspires me. I'm praying for you that life finally gives you a break. Every day can be a struggle, but every day can also be an opportunity to learn something new, make a new friend, or discover a new passion. Thank you for sharing your story with us and remember that we're all rooting for you brother! ❤❤❤
Hello, I watched your videos. I pulled myself out of depression, anxiety and addiction just 2 years ago. I am also autistic and have ocd. I managed to do that after 5 years of reading psychology and neuroscience. Below are some things I hope might help you overcome your situation. 1. Depression and anxiety tense your body; it’s hard to do anything when you feel physically unwell. Focus on daily physical activity or at least stretching and a healthy diet. 2. Use your senses to self sooth. Scents, music, movies, textures.. curate them for yourself and take some time to focus only on these sensations you enjoy. 3. Practice stoicism. It really does help separate ourselves as individuals from the expectation and anxieties that society has put on us. We live in a grind culture society and that does not align with everyone. Whilst a lot of people find purpose in economic and career success; it may not work for everyone. You can find purpose outside the conventional expectation of “success”. It also teaches how to experience your negative emotions and learn to accept them without spiraling into hopelessness. 4. Strive for wellbeing and healthy friendships; not for “happiness”. Happiness will never be a constant state of mind and it can feel very disappointing when you have a couple of good weeks and all of a sudden feel depressed again. Mental wellbeing is being ok with whatever emotions and feelings your mind is experiencing and adjusting to that. IE. If I am feeling sad perhaps I will dedicate more time to point 2 on this list. A huge part of why sadness develops into a depressive episode is because we automatically associate it with feelings of failure and inferiority. Sadness is just another emotion and you can teach your brain to process it from a positive outlook. 5. Make life about yourself and the experiences that you want to have. Live in the present and in the little things. 6. Be yourself. Holding back in fear of people judging us only exacerbates the feeling that we do not belong. People will dislike you; it is a probabilistic truth. There is nothing inherently bad about that; the right people will gravitate towards you if you project your genuine self. 7. You can jump start friendships. That is the biggest lesson I learned in my late 20s. I spent a lot of time sad about not being invited anywhere and not having a social group, until I realized I could be the one inviting them out. I call people; I show up if they invite me; I ask them out for coffee; I treat them with kindness and love. I try to bring positive energy always and they reciprocate. It has really enriched my life magnitudes. (Stoicism also helped this massively; when people see you recognize, handle, and communicate your emotions so well, they respect you and they want you around.) You are not alone. Society has failed us all. I hope things improve.
Thanks for taking the time to share your own learnings on all of this, very interesting going over some of the points listed and taking them in. Thank you
This is amazing advice thank you so much. I've never seen anyone for an autism diagnosis but I STRONGLY suspect I have it. I am 28 and have always felt vastly different from others all my life.
Dude the reason it has so many views is because we're all in the same boat with you, more or less.. Just swap your spinal issue with some other debilitating issue such as being obese and there's another you two doors down from me. Literally almost a carbon copy of your situation. Living with his parents, no girlfriend, friends are out of touch, savings running low, grasping at anything to make him feel productive cause he lost his job; all of it. To say "You're not alone" would be the understatement of the decade..
You’re not the only man in this situation. I promise you. The views are coming from people who are in similar situations. This modern society is hyper-competitive in every sense and getting more and more difficult to move forward. I admit my circumstances are different but I still feel so connected to your struggle in a deeper sense. I’m 28, have a career and a place to myself. I’m from the U.S. I have a limited friend group that I never have the chance to see. Plans are floaty just like you described. I have no girlfriend and it’s not for lack of trying. I live effectively paycheck paycheck because of high living costs and I’m one bad life event (job loss/medical problem) from losing it all and having to move back in with my parents. Even though I don’t have the exact same circumstances as you, I feel so deeply connected to your struggle and plight because I know this could be me any day. Also, keep it up with Spanish! 92 day streak?! Bien hecho mi amigo.
Even in the face of inescapable defeat, we will still fight and even in that defeat we will still win because our spirit cannot be defeated. Hang in there!
Hey Adam, I watched both videos and they are inspiring me since I'm 32 and struggling to figure out what to do with my life. I'm sorry that you've struggled so much, especially with all the intense physical problems. It is really cool you're spending your time being creative, though, and I have a feeling that if you keep those kinds of things up and continue to follow your joy, your life will start to fall into place. Also, you're still alive and fighting and trying, so you're absolutely not a failure. Thank you for making these videos. They're an inspiration. Good luck, much love
I love how honest you are with how you feel and how you handling all your pains and all.... Talking about it is all the "getting better and doing better" is at. Sending love from South Africa
🙏🏼 I appreciate your words thankyou. I understand there is a stigma attached to males voicing these sorts of things, yet so many will have moments similar and feel they are alone, its always better to talk, even when we don't think anybody is listening.
Dude, never give up. I'm a year younger than you, and struggled with depression/anxiety problems for nearly 20 years, now. Other than that, I also have to deal with chronic GI disorders. Life has been pretty fucked up, for me, both physically and mentally, but I found solace in art and through meditation. Definitely helps a lot in dealing with stress and depression. You are not alone, dude. Get something to do that will help you in expressing your emotions and let out all the anger you have inside, whether it be music, writing, painting or anything else. It definitely helps in clearing all that negative energy. I wish you all the best, dude. Stay strong, and never give up, please.
@@James09291 i have ibs and any gut disorder lead to a magnesium diefiency. Probiotic help to put good bacteria to the gut to help to enhance magnesium and other minerals. Magnesium is needed for the body to function correctly people obtain it through vegetables. Have you see people more older than their age its becuase that magnesium controls celullar decay. Maybe i will buy black strap molases it come filled with magnesium and other minerals or transdermal magnesium oil. There are ways to get more mag than the supplement I learn this the hard way with a magnesium defiency (hypomagnesemia) 3 years and counting
Just came across this video after a long day of my back pain having gotten worse. It feels so weird, like a signal to get it checked, because I too, think I have a slipped/bulged disk, it has been hurting for about a year after I did deadlifts at the gym, and i've been putting it off since, but today the pain was real bad.. and now I come across this video.. The pain for me gets worse when I stand in the same position for too long.. gonna call 111 now.. thank you and I hope you get better
Idk, i watched the first video and i still cant consider you a failure what so ever, you keep on learning, self improving, and planning your next move. Ive been getting the things i want lately in job and building hobbies. And still its not like i feel happy lmao. I think we just keep doing good things for ourselves and the others you love or grow to love. Then die 😊
As someone that suffered a severe neck injury in my late 20's... I know how hard this can be. However, as a part of that, I stumbled into a whole new field and make 10 times the amount I did before, with a more flexible schedule etc. Please focus on what you CAN do, instead of what you can't do (like getting into the gym). Take time to learn something new and explore while you rest and heal. Passion often arrives out of hardship. Good luck. I'm rooting for you.
How dude you need to fail in order to succes. Im an engineer i have troubles with my job i fail the first job but im aware of weak points. Im working but i think i dont have a good payment. But i understant that i have to study more. You are going to be ok.
ADAM: i literally have never commented on any UA-cam video in my life….you’re video has many parallels within my life and I’m sure thousands if not millions of others around us. I know you’re feeling shit about your mental/physical state but you’re fighting consistently and that’s something you need to grasp onto and use that as fuel. Use anything and everything as fuel to move into a better state of mind. Getting the ball rolling is usually the hardest part. Adam. I’m going to challenge you and say you should try hot yoga. Hot yoga has completely changed everything about my existence. It has mentally/physically/spiritually brought my life to a level I’m extremely grateful for. I am a ex pro footballer and was always in supreme shape but the HOT YOGA synced everything together. You need to “build up” your mental health and hot yoga/meditation is a supreme avenue you should consider. I put my life on it and I wouldn’t have wrote this if I wasn’t here to help you understand…..there are ways through this. And it’s all for you , nobody else.
Ok. Saw the first video last week, commented about looking into ADHD. So much of what you say in this one tells me you definitely need to research this. Just look up adult adhd symptoms and see if it describes you. My diagnosis at 57 has not cured my problems, but it has explained them, and that makes it easier to navigate life. Maybe I'm wrong about this, but you'd at least be able to add 'knowledge about neurodivergence' to your skillset.
Hey man! You seem like a really intelligent guy. I'm sorry you are going through all of this. I think you should look at this time as a blessing. Keep working on yourself. My first thought was maybe you can get some kind of office job that doesn't require you to stand or lift. But that might be horrible for you. It sounds like you crave meaning in your life which is totally understandable. I think you would benefit from doing some kind of service work. Something where you are directly helping people. I work at a convenience store and I have actually gotten a lot of it despite not thinking i would. Also, it's a lot more challenging than one would think so it actually requires a lot of cognitive energy. I would recommend something like that because helping other people really does give your life more purpose. You sound so similar to me and it really did help me (I also don't want to assume it will work so it's only a suggestion). You also seem like you have creativity that is dying to get out. Keep working on making things. Even if it's not a job, do it as a side thing until you can make money from it. I used to think that if I was going to be a musician, I couldn't do anything else. I had to just make it my life and make money from it. It took me a long time to realize that I can be many things and that if i want to work a regular job during the day to pay the bills, I can do that. I can also do my creative stuff on nights and my days off. That's just a thought. But you seem like a smart guy and maybe don't need anyone's advice. I think you will figure it out. I would recommend just doing something rather than waiting for the perfect thing to come along. Good luck man. I see a lot of myself in you. You are not abnormal at all. I'd be friends with you in a heart beat.
Sorry to hear of your experiences. As an ex University manager, I’m very concerned to hear how you were treated for having time off. Most universities usually allow you quite a lot of flexibility to work around medical conditions. If you completed particular modules and can evidence this, you can often join other universities with some or all of the modules recognised. Open University is one particular option which might allow you to continue your studies.
That's awesome that you've managed to grow your UA-cam channels to the point they're monetized, who knows they might just turn into something that you could rely on for income!
Hi Adam, I saw your 2 videos and you remind me of a friend of mine who always has some level of adversity between him and his goals. He's a smart dude and very creative when it comes to music production. However his way of keeping up a steady income level dosnt work as he dosnt want to work a regular job. Which I completely understand, I dont have a reg job and own my own online business which I have tried to convert him to try for himself but he over complicates and creates walls of adversity and if he dosnt have X program or Y skill then he has to go to uni to study or something. And now There are so many ways to learn off the internet new skills and know what you want to do. I think for your prime days of working are likely limited due to your back issues, that will probably hurt you in the long run. My advice is to as you mentioned it you like 3D art which says to me you dont mind creating on the computer which is great for anyone in that position as there is 0 start up and all you need to do is learn and practice, however 3D art is a dime of a dozen trade, everyone wants to do it and its always for something obscure like games which its again super competitive and hard to get into. My advice is to learn something else on the computer thats adjacent to 3D art, my recommendation is learning an easier coding language like python or something of that nature that will guarantee you an income and I can say from experience its a sure fire way to get good money without leaving your home. In saying that, it sounds like you have many distractions when it comes to your reactions to what life throws at you. We all react in different ways but you have to learn how to stay consistent at one thing and know 100% if you can make that skill a 100% viable one for your life. Theres no point going to school or learning a skill that has a low income ceiling and low availability for work. I think this is an ok time to reinvent yourself but its important to know that instant gratification is toxic, now you have to spend good few years on a thing to get good at it, than bounce backwards and forwards. Also, Stay off the language apps, they are designed to create a false sense of progression or just any apps like that with the exception of fitness apps IMO. Unfortunately that way of learning dosnt actually teach you anything, and you even said it, "You recognize patterns" but its kind of useless if you dont practice it in the real world and know what you are ACTUALLY capable of to get your mistakes corrected. Sounds corny, but we only learn from our mistakes and failures if we can figure it out. Apps like that give you the answers and wont force you to try to figure it out. So drop those apps if you can and maybe join a language school and throw yourself in that to see if you actually enjoy is and you wanna spend time doing that. But to sum it up, focus on one thing at a time, have a creative outline, learn a skill thats in demand thats easier on your body know knowing you have back issues and go from there. If learning coding languages interest you, download the programs, watch some beginner videos on youtube, spend time learning and breaking things and trying to figure out things and use that in conjunction with Chat GPT which is like the ultimate side kick when it comes to self teaching to finding other ways to understand a thing.
Sorry to hear about what happened to you , I always found it weird that in the west you have to wait to be treated , Hearing about your achievements really give me hope and courage to overcome my anxiety and get out there and do things thank you so much .
Hi Adam, You need to check out McGill, he is the world leading expert on back injuries. His “back mechanic” book is the best foundation for understanding back injuries, including yours. Also, if decompression is suggested, a simple, not well-known “exercise” is to do the following: 1. Sit on a chair with firm arm rests 2. Legs, knees and back in appr. 90 degrees 3. With arms on the side, hands just next to your buttocks, push downwards so your buttocks lift approximately an inch or two and becomes “weightless” and your thighs barely touch the chair 5. Completely relax your lower back/buttocks The weight from your lower back, buttocks and upper leg will gently pull on your back downwards and decompress your back. Takes just a few seconds and can be done almost anywhere, anytime 4.
Great videos, man. People like us are finally finding our voices. Thanks for reaching out, because I feel (emotionally) just like you, in a similar situation. It does suck, lol. But we're not alone. Ever seen the movie, Contact? "The only thing that makes the loneliness bearable, is each other."
I heard in the video that you said you are creative and love creating and since you cant be to mobile since your injury situation I would recommend lego. Ik it might sound childish but they have some very cool 18+ sets that are awesome to build. And if you keep getting good with it you could even work for lego and be a designer. Idk if this is something you would be interested in but I thought I mis awell tell you. 😁 Love your vids btw
chin up. just when you think it can't get any lower, it actually can. often it does. just keep going. it's not about winning. it's about surviving. surviving is a kind of thriving. my dad used to say that a guy he knew said smile, it could be worse. so my dad said i smiled, and it was.
the only way out of depression is to reactivate survival instincts; try a fast, train hard every day and always improve even a little. Make important choices and make radical changes especially those that take you out of your comfort zone. Induce as much effort into your life as possible and you will see yourself reborn. finally change your mindset, don't complain and embrace the infinite possibilities and opportunities that you can find in every moment in every problem
You are not a failure, stop thinking of yourself as such. I'm 45 and live in a shitty flat, no girlfriend, no wife, no husband. Get good at the things you like. Get a job involving the the things you like. (I wanted to be an electrician but couldn't get funding for the full time uni course
You seem to me like one of those people who are just never happy and crave learning new things, on and on and on it goes. Most people only ever truly succeed at something after bloody years and years and years of doing that thing, often for little no money,struggles until something happens.
I actually hate nearly everything about myself. I have a college degree,I've had great jobs in life but I'm never able to keep them because I'm not good at anything. I'm u attractive, low-income, awkward and boring. I truly wish i had the courage to e.n.d. it all. There is no point in me being around, I add nothing to society. I'm worthless trash.
I like your videos, man. I know you're not asking for advice, but I've personally found that a certain type of mushroom ;) works absolute miracles for anxiety and depression.
Just watched both of these videos. Please please please don't get caught in framing yourself as a 'loser' or thinking about how your past didn't pan out. Because: 1 - A lot of that was circumstantial, beyond your control, and 2 - A lot of that was designed by those in power to keep us down The educational systems in the US are failing in a similar fashion. There are so so many smart, educated, hard-working young men who are still unable to find work, and even after finding work, are unable to afford housing for their family, and even after affording housing for their family, are unable to build wealth. This isn't an isolated problem for you, because you specifically are a loser, but a broad problem for mostly everyone (in the modern west), because everyone is suffering under a globalized elite invisibly c*cking us all. We are too advanced as a society for the housing crisis to be written off as an 'accident' or 'quirk' or 'market force'- raising the housing costs is something modern societies do to intentionally levy control over the populous and keep them busy. And yeah, the fundamental lack of sympathy for men is heartbreaking. It's so easy to have poor mental health given the extreme expectations of society (financially and socially) right alongside the lack of support from other people or trust in the systems and institutions. And for you having your back give out that just adds to the pressure. On the bright side, having a lot of free time (as you do now) is a huge opportunity and privilege. Time is one of the most valuable resources, and many people in the world don't have that much open, ongoing, uninterrupted time. You have the freedom to study endlessly and explore such broad mental worlds and domains. UA-cam and gaming and duolingo will certainly help with that. You can read whatever you want, study subjects on your own terms, and basically become a genius if the time allows. And relax, of course. Don't remember if you mentioned there being a set amount of time- who knows, it might last a while! You could get into fantasy books too. There's a lot I would start reading if I didn't feel oncoming financial pressure.
True I feel like it's crazy that he feels like s failure when he got failed and his university literally "stole" his time and credits for his civil engineering..he should book an appointment with a civil court lawyer whether to sue or not since it's a bit unfair to ruin his life and literally help him get into a state of depression where he literally is taking anti depressants...He states he fits savings I hope he learns how to invest it well if his body is improving rather than not... I definitely feel like he could get some where with his gaming yt Channel if he learns to thumbnail and title and upload consistently and really work hard on it...he can see if his games are truly marketable and profitable to lose some fun by commentating and reacting in a exaggerating and attention grabbing way...sure he could look for older audiences who like more chill ytbers but I find older ytbers a bit more lazier to find new content creators or they are dying breed...
@@meh6513 Yeah I think maybe part of him deep down knows that he was screwed over, but he's seeking outside perspective to validate how crazy his scenario seems. And yeah, it is crazy, and he was screwed over, it's totally not "his fault", and if that sort of story happens to enough people there will be massive political revolt.
Massive respect to you man for sharing your feelings with the world, something most of us will go to the ends of the earth to hide away. Perhaps if we didn't the world would be a better place. Interesting what you say about friends dropping off - unfortunately a lot of people can be very status-minded and, while they won't admit it, will be unconsciously slotting you into a 'hierarchy'. This is to an extent a function of Capitalism, how many of us have had friends drop us when they feel they have ''left you behind'' or failing that just become inconvenient to them ? I'm 45 with a job and a wife and the truth is nobody gives a real crap about anybody outside their immediate family/support network and often not even then. Many friendships are based on proximity and mutual convenience or some kind of need they have which you, at that particular moment, are able to meet. But this changes and then you're made redundant from the job of '' friend'', then the system tells you you're a failure, as with losing a job or getting divorced. We're all incentivised/pressurised with the carrot and the stick to seek goals which are basically unattainable for the majority of the population and even if we achieve a measure of them insecurity keeps us in line. We live in a system predicated on the precarity of resources (jobs, relationships, shelter) and have become somewhat infantilised by the influence of Americana and the imposition of it's corporate high school teen values. The eugenicist contest for ''success'', ''popularity'' (as opposed to relationships) and of course that elusive gift, material wealth. People who consider themselves ''winners'' seek to form a little club where they can look down upon the plebs from their dizzying heights of unsullied-ness, something which the politics of inequality facilitates of course. The justification for this odious Stepford routine is of course that you are ''toxic'', so they must isolate/exclude you from their group to avoid it's contamination. Perfect people spawning perfect products from the place of perfection. As I said, it's basically eugenicist. Then of course feeding into that is the influence of crass life coaching ideology, again emanating from California. The ''you are a toxic influence on my preciousness because you've said something I don't like ''', the ''you need to worship me because I'm special'' and the 'you can't be my friend if you're their friend'' syndromes. I'd also argue that in many respects modern society is one which favours women in terms of the general culture, the nature of office-based employment, Capitalist economics and the apparent bias of the courts against men . Anyway.....after all that negativity the good news is that the clowns who remove you as a 'toxic' or undeserving influence from their lives aren't isolating you from them because you will in some way 'contaminate' them with your 'toxicity', they're isolating themselves from you. You get to realise that the conventional goals you are incentivised to pursue aren't really all that - which isn't to say don't try and improve your material position or get out there in the world, you've got to, just don't feel like a failure because you're absolutely not and we've all been there. The whole concept of ''failure'' is the warning/threat society gives us for not toeing the line, reaching it's worst expression in the unnecessary presence of the homeless dying on our streets. You are doing what you need to do, building strength. Respect to you bro, keep it up :-)
There is only one thing that can save middle aged men and that is fitness and building muscle. This is so important for middle aged men to avoid future health problems.
Have you considered an Open University module? They are used to teaching people from distance and with disabilities or mental and physical health problems.
I think it's cool that you know Spanish and is interested in coding, as well as being creative. You can try to be a freelancer for businesses in Spanish speaking countries like Spain, or by writing stories for the Spanish market. If not, you can start your own business online. It's never too late to start.
I commented this on your last video. I’m sorry life has been so hard for you. However, I want you to know that your life will change if you embrace the love and joy that the Lord Jesus Christ offers. I pray that he will offer you healing and purpose in this chaotic world. God bless you Adam. Love you all
What you have all the time in the world to do right now is plan. Plan plan plan. Set out a guideline and achievements you’d like to accomplish-not in a year, not in 10 years but as soon as your able to.
Thanks for the video Adam. Try the piano or an instrument. HD piano is a great place to learn piano in a much easier way on UA-cam. Was going through a rough period early 30s and the piano got my mind off everything, forcing my to concentrate completely on what I was playing. Might not be your cup of tea but can't reccoment it enough
If I'm honest out of all the instruments, I like the idea of the piano, really only because of musical comedy, there is something about a good song that can get laughs but is also layers of talent
Yo dude I am seeing some lack of confidence in yourself. Perfect example is you saying you don’t think you will ever be able to speak Spanish. Yes you can! You have it in you please don’t limit yourself! Best of luck!
dude, many things between us are uncanny. i studied art and design...... now ai art does in 10 seconds what takes me 10 hours solid...... carpentry..... really excelled at joinery........ what takes a cnc machine 45 minutes takes me 3 days and cnc is within 0.100mm of tolerance lol. both my qualifications are useless in todays society. when i did bag a carpentry job..... my back locked up and I've been waiting over a year with still no result :/ ........... the company also went into liquidation. funnily ....... I'm duel nationality and speak Spanish. just a thought though, you say you don't get out much,.... you ever thought about getting a motorcycle? its actually great for mental health and very social. i'm kent based but your openness is refreshing and i wish more men spoke as openly.......especially with the way mens mental health is really at in modern society.......... as for me i find that most men don't get into things like you do, which is pretty much how i am as a person. id rather have an actual conversation than a closed off "we don't talk about this type of stuff as men"
You must go on. You only fail or think you fail because you are comparing yourself to a social standard, not your true spiritual self. You only fail when you are dead and never tried. Society and women are the root cause of a man's sense of failure.
Bro learn to pray. Head to a church unless you want to stay burdened. Why suffer when there is a way. I can't guarantee physical healing which is possible but mentally you will be healed for sure.
@@Add- it’s not a matter of importance, it’s just spending money where it wasn’t necessary. A&E or your GP could have gotten you this scan for free. I know, I’m an MRI radiographer.
OK so its not a matter of importance isn't it? I woke 1 day with little to no movement in my legs, and back spasm that made me black out hourly. If I go to my gp, they will put my through the usual procedures. 1 meds, 2 self referral to physio. After a 4 month wait to have a phonecall with the physio its a further minimum of 6 weeks where I am before you get to see somebody. A 6 week period with the physio, to then be referred back to the gp to by then sent to get an mri. 12-18 month wait for the mri scan, then onto the waiting list to see the specialist, then the 6-24 mo th wait to see the specialist. Total time looking about 3 years. Or Wake up 1 day with the above issues, pay to get an mri privately within 3 days from the call, get results 2 days later, see gp 1 week after the scan, be referred directly to the specialist because I had the mri and the results already. They then also put me to the physio so I know the waiting time there as I had to go through it anyway, they give me months worth of meds, as I had the mri and they knew what they were dealing with. And from January it was 5-6 months before I saw the specialist, which I was lucky to get as I was given a cancellation spot. Currently now going through recovery, giving me a working body back 1.5 YEARS before I would of got it... Its literally important for my health and situation..
@@Add- Your assumption of how a GP should act in your situation is a wrong. Any lower back pain that is affecting the lower limbs this much could because a cauda equina and is clinically very serious and the GP should refer you on an urgent pathway and they would not waste time with a physio.. And where do you live that has a wait that long for an MRI?! Did they tell you that is the wait list? That is a very large range. To be honest, your symptoms warranted going to A&E. I am not trying to understate your health issues, just that I think your understanding of how lower back pain is not ALWAYS treated the same way, it depends on so many factors.
@@WelshKyle my assumptions on the GP are not even assumptions, I have walked this line many times prior. I understand that it could of been quite serious. its why I called 111 in the first place when I almost passed out failing to get out of bed, you know what they said, we will book you a call with your gp, call us back if it gets worse, I asked what is worse than blacking out and having next to no control over my legs... the reply, well, if it gets worse call us back. I then got a text from my GP to say that the call wouldn't happen, I had been booked on a face to face in 30 days time I called them to ask why and I was told, a Dr has reviewed the referral and sees that a face to face in 30 days time is the correct procedure to take in this situation as for the waiting times there's were told to me by the Doctor who would see me, and the specialist waiting times were next to each hospital I had the choice from when picking the specialist. I love our NHS it has done me the world of good over the years, but this 1 situation, from my experience of it, was a complete cluster fuck. Now imagine that and saying spending money when its not needed.. totally deluded, you might work in the sector, but have no idea what its like as a patient using it elsewhere.
I wanted to leave some honest advice which I believe that may help but I hope you take this as constructive criticism. Step one is accepting complete responsibility to where you are at right now now. There is no going back and it’s only looking forward. I believe the worse thing you can be doing right now is waiting to hear back from the MRI appointment. With back/disc injuries it’s so easy to fall into what I call the “Old man mindset” you base your whole life around what has happened to your back and becomes a part of your personality and you become to scared to do ANYTHING. You won’t lift things or scared to move so much. Instead of creating Spanish streaks you need to start creating a gym streak, make it a streak to enter the gym doors everyday whilst your off work. Find out what you can and can’t do. Sonia will do fuck all for your current circumstance Maybe the treadmill is too harsh, but maybe the step machine works fine, then challenge yourself to do more each time. When I started back gym after injury on my T6/T7, I did my whole workout with 1kg dumbbells, went back the next day and did it with 2kg. Within a month I was at moderate weight around 10kg which wasn’t to much but with slow form, high reps, not to strenuous on my back due to light weight. It was enough to stimulate my muscles and my mental and physical health was improving and I started to tone. Instead of sitting at home thinking about what you can’t do get out and start figuring out what you can do. You’re not in work so use this time to challenge yourself. Long walks with podcasts in head phones, learn about people that have been in your situation and got out of it, maybe learn to cook and try new foods. The worse thing you can be doing is sat at home playing victim. It’s a dark lonely road and will do you no benefits. I have been there. The “interest” thing you talk about, you got to remember you’re a man and have to do the things you’re not interested in. I’m not interested in cleaning my room, sweating in the gym, meal prep, uncomfortable talks with friends, learning a skill that could benefit me. But I’d rather go through the pain of discipline and fight back than the pain of sitting at home, feeling sorry for myself, Chose your pain man, because there is no getting out of it. Use the pain the become better and don’t let current circumstances become your personality. So much more I would like to add but I don’t want to write an essay. This comment has come from a place from love ❤️ May god be with you
Maybe try some THC for ur pain. Might be a better alternative than taking pills. It’s helpin my folks with their medicine instead of having to take pills that make u feel even worse than before
I’m not the one to tell people what to think or what to do, however I feel that I can provide some valuable advice. And that would be to stop being a victim of life. If you take responsibility for everything that is or isn’t your fault. Btw I don’t think Spanish is going to help your situation.
Mate, you are in danger of becoming someone who thrives on not thriving. We have one such in our social group. He's 52 now, thrives on his anxiety 'diagnosis'. He's unhappy but don't anyone dare tell him he's brought it on himself. Just get up off your a*** and do anything. Things, people, opportunities only come from doing, not vegetating. If you had a magical thing you wanted to do you would know by now. Just be like the rest of us. Ordinary and accepting of it.
@@AA-il1we Yes, "geo max" is super lame terminology. No, OP's advice is not disrespectful towards women in any way (or racist, in case anybody wants to throw that one out in the future lol). OP's advice is solid (aka evidence-based), financially smart and philanthropic. These types of marriages work *because* they're mutually beneficial; the foreigner who brings their money and resources into the marriage isn't just providing for their spouse, they're providing for the spouse's family and often their extended family as well, or even an entire township/village. We all know that women from developing countries move to the very countries these so-called incel men are in, specifically to find these men and marry them so they can have access to their money and thus provide for their families. Grow up, broaden your world view or... idk go sit down somewhere and be quiet. You're not getting any points for defending women because there's nothing to defend.
Travel, open your mind. You're learning a language, drop yourself in latin America and put it to good use. I assume you have no bills if you're living with your folks, save every penny and get the hell out of the UK. Stop comparing yourself to others. The world is so much more than the British Isles.
Adam do you happen to use opiate pain and mental health medication? I know that personally they are something that I’ve taken in the past that have made me have similar feelings as yourself. I am 36 yo and I hit a road block many years ago, I feel like I understand what you may be going through. I hope things get better for you.
Bro, I'm 45, married, 2 kids, health issues, and even I have long swaths of time where I feel lost and hopeless. Lots of people are in similar situations. You're not alone, keep on trying.
Getting into the gym is a fantastic idea.
I think, to be honest, this has a lot to do in relationship with the current socioeconomic situation that the Western countries are passing through.
@@Ray1EGYPENARMAS1NDG It is, and it isn't "fair", but life isn't in general. The whole idea is to not let those external factors mess you up mentally.
Seeing how thins guy went from depressed hopelessness to creative outlets is a massive motivation for many others. Emotionally sensitive people like ourselves need to create, to channel their minds to creative things regardless of field.
And like Michaels pointed out you can be 'lost' and hopeless at any point in time, regardless of family status or socioeconomic status. Without a burning need to 'keep up' and after passing the defeated hopeless stage, keep your mind sharp and your soul rich and things will fit into place on their own.
I am 53 , tried everything , freelance, business , kept working an extra job still do, still living pay check to pay check, have never wasted money, rather sacrificed for family, in worldly terms I have nothing, still work 2 jobs, there is no option for me to think about self with many health problems too....For if i stop its over, that will be the way till I die or simply cannot work, and tell u what where I am, there are millions and millions of people worse off.
It is what it is keep struggling and trying thats all.
Dude just keep these videos up, you might not see it but there is quite a big differance between these two videos. As much as your having a hard time, there is obvious growth from one video to the next and mate thats what its all about. if your enjoying working on youtube videos then keep doing it you can talk in front of a camera naturally which alot of people cant do, myself included. keep fucking about with editing and 3d printing. hang in there bro we are all rooting for you.
Hey Adam, I watched both of these videos, and I just wanted to say I'm so sorry you've been thrown into the grinder your entire life never getting a break. Im just a highschooler and struggling with pretty bad financial problems as well as some bad family drama, but seeing you go through so much hell and still fighting every day truly inspires me. I'm praying for you that life finally gives you a break. Every day can be a struggle, but every day can also be an opportunity to learn something new, make a new friend, or discover a new passion. Thank you for sharing your story with us and remember that we're all rooting for you brother! ❤❤❤
yes!
Hello, I watched your videos. I pulled myself out of depression, anxiety and addiction just 2 years ago. I am also autistic and have ocd. I managed to do that after 5 years of reading psychology and neuroscience.
Below are some things I hope might help you overcome your situation.
1. Depression and anxiety tense your body; it’s hard to do anything when you feel physically unwell. Focus on daily physical activity or at least stretching and a healthy diet.
2. Use your senses to self sooth. Scents, music, movies, textures.. curate them for yourself and take some time to focus only on these sensations you enjoy.
3. Practice stoicism. It really does help separate ourselves as individuals from the expectation and anxieties that society has put on us. We live in a grind culture society and that does not align with everyone. Whilst a lot of people find purpose in economic and career success; it may not work for everyone. You can find purpose outside the conventional expectation of “success”. It also teaches how to experience your negative emotions and learn to accept them without spiraling into hopelessness.
4. Strive for wellbeing and healthy friendships; not for “happiness”. Happiness will never be a constant state of mind and it can feel very disappointing when you have a couple of good weeks and all of a sudden feel depressed again. Mental wellbeing is being ok with whatever emotions and feelings your mind is experiencing and adjusting to that. IE. If I am feeling sad perhaps I will dedicate more time to point 2 on this list. A huge part of why sadness develops into a depressive episode is because we automatically associate it with feelings of failure and inferiority. Sadness is just another emotion and you can teach your brain to process it from a positive outlook.
5. Make life about yourself and the experiences that you want to have. Live in the present and in the little things.
6. Be yourself. Holding back in fear of people judging us only exacerbates the feeling that we do not belong. People will dislike you; it is a probabilistic truth. There is nothing inherently bad about that; the right people will gravitate towards you if you project your genuine self.
7. You can jump start friendships. That is the biggest lesson I learned in my late 20s. I spent a lot of time sad about not being invited anywhere and not having a social group, until I realized I could be the one inviting them out. I call people; I show up if they invite me; I ask them out for coffee; I treat them with kindness and love. I try to bring positive energy always and they reciprocate. It has really enriched my life magnitudes. (Stoicism also helped this massively; when people see you recognize, handle, and communicate your emotions so well, they respect you and they want you around.)
You are not alone. Society has failed us all. I hope things improve.
Thanks for taking the time to share your own learnings on all of this, very interesting going over some of the points listed and taking them in.
Thank you
❤
This is amazing advice thank you so much. I've never seen anyone for an autism diagnosis but I STRONGLY suspect I have it. I am 28 and have always felt vastly different from others all my life.
Please prioritize your healing with the problems with your back, and afterwards take care of everything else.
I hope you recover soon
Dude the reason it has so many views is because we're all in the same boat with you, more or less.. Just swap your spinal issue with some other debilitating issue such as being obese and there's another you two doors down from me. Literally almost a carbon copy of your situation. Living with his parents, no girlfriend, friends are out of touch, savings running low, grasping at anything to make him feel productive cause he lost his job; all of it. To say "You're not alone" would be the understatement of the decade..
We are not i the same boat. We are all in the same storm. Some have a small rowing boat, and some has a yacht.
ill say it again
isolation and determination to be the best at what you've always wanted to do
think big and keep going
You’re not the only man in this situation. I promise you. The views are coming from people who are in similar situations. This modern society is hyper-competitive in every sense and getting more and more difficult to move forward. I admit my circumstances are different but I still feel so connected to your struggle in a deeper sense. I’m 28, have a career and a place to myself. I’m from the U.S. I have a limited friend group that I never have the chance to see. Plans are floaty just like you described. I have no girlfriend and it’s not for lack of trying. I live effectively paycheck paycheck because of high living costs and I’m one bad life event (job loss/medical problem) from losing it all and having to move back in with my parents.
Even though I don’t have the exact same circumstances as you, I feel so deeply connected to your struggle and plight because I know this could be me any day.
Also, keep it up with Spanish! 92 day streak?! Bien hecho mi amigo.
Even in the face of inescapable defeat, we will still fight and even in that defeat we will still win because our spirit cannot be defeated. Hang in there!
Hey Adam, I watched both videos and they are inspiring me since I'm 32 and struggling to figure out what to do with my life. I'm sorry that you've struggled so much, especially with all the intense physical problems. It is really cool you're spending your time being creative, though, and I have a feeling that if you keep those kinds of things up and continue to follow your joy, your life will start to fall into place.
Also, you're still alive and fighting and trying, so you're absolutely not a failure. Thank you for making these videos. They're an inspiration. Good luck, much love
I love how honest you are with how you feel and how you handling all your pains and all.... Talking about it is all the "getting better and doing better" is at.
Sending love from South Africa
🙏🏼 I appreciate your words thankyou. I understand there is a stigma attached to males voicing these sorts of things, yet so many will have moments similar and feel they are alone, its always better to talk, even when we don't think anybody is listening.
Dude, never give up.
I'm a year younger than you, and struggled with depression/anxiety problems for nearly 20 years, now. Other than that, I also have to deal with chronic GI disorders.
Life has been pretty fucked up, for me, both physically and mentally, but I found solace in art and through meditation.
Definitely helps a lot in dealing with stress and depression.
You are not alone, dude.
Get something to do that will help you in expressing your emotions and let out all the anger you have inside, whether it be music, writing, painting or anything else.
It definitely helps in clearing all that negative energy.
I wish you all the best, dude.
Stay strong, and never give up, please.
You need more magnesium through food and. Magnesium will help you. Avoid anything that depletes magnesium. Those problems will disappear with time
@@karlhansodo you mean take more magnesium for gi disorders? I am going though something similar
@@James09291 i have ibs and any gut disorder lead to a magnesium diefiency. Probiotic help to put good bacteria to the gut to help to enhance magnesium and other minerals. Magnesium is needed for the body to function correctly people obtain it through vegetables. Have you see people more older than their age its becuase that magnesium controls celullar decay. Maybe i will buy black strap molases it come filled with magnesium and other minerals or transdermal magnesium oil. There are ways to get more mag than the supplement I learn this the hard way with a magnesium defiency (hypomagnesemia) 3 years and counting
Just came across this video after a long day of my back pain having gotten worse. It feels so weird, like a signal to get it checked, because I too, think I have a slipped/bulged disk, it has been hurting for about a year after I did deadlifts at the gym, and i've been putting it off since, but today the pain was real bad.. and now I come across this video.. The pain for me gets worse when I stand in the same position for too long.. gonna call 111 now.. thank you and I hope you get better
Idk, i watched the first video and i still cant consider you a failure what so ever, you keep on learning, self improving, and planning your next move. Ive been getting the things i want lately in job and building hobbies. And still its not like i feel happy lmao. I think we just keep doing good things for ourselves and the others you love or grow to love. Then die 😊
As someone that suffered a severe neck injury in my late 20's... I know how hard this can be. However, as a part of that, I stumbled into a whole new field and make 10 times the amount I did before, with a more flexible schedule etc. Please focus on what you CAN do, instead of what you can't do (like getting into the gym). Take time to learn something new and explore while you rest and heal. Passion often arrives out of hardship. Good luck. I'm rooting for you.
keep making videos adam. you'll get there
i am jobless for almost 15 years due to my fears of outside people. i am very ashamed of myself and feel like a absolute failure.
How dude you need to fail in order to succes. Im an engineer i have troubles with my job i fail the first job but im aware of weak points. Im working but i think i dont have a good payment. But i understant that i have to study more. You are going to be ok.
How do you pay bills?
Wishing you all the best. I'm sorry you're going through this.
ADAM: i literally have never commented on any UA-cam video in my life….you’re video has many parallels within my life and I’m sure thousands if not millions of others around us. I know you’re feeling shit about your mental/physical state but you’re fighting consistently and that’s something you need to grasp onto and use that as fuel. Use anything and everything as fuel to move into a better state of mind. Getting the ball rolling is usually the hardest part.
Adam. I’m going to challenge you and say you should try hot yoga. Hot yoga has completely changed everything about my existence. It has mentally/physically/spiritually brought my life to a level I’m extremely grateful for. I am a ex pro footballer and was always in supreme shape but the HOT YOGA synced everything together. You need to “build up” your mental health and hot yoga/meditation is a supreme avenue you should consider. I put my life on it and I wouldn’t have wrote this if I wasn’t here to help you understand…..there are ways through this. And it’s all for you , nobody else.
Daring is the right word. I think it is great that you put yourself out there and that you try to keep a good outlook.
Im cheering for you dude, I hope you can climb yourself out of this unlucky pit youve encountered.
Best wishes Adam. Like you said at the end, its all about perspective 😊
Ok. Saw the first video last week, commented about looking into ADHD. So much of what you say in this one tells me you definitely need to research this.
Just look up adult adhd symptoms and see if it describes you.
My diagnosis at 57 has not cured my problems, but it has explained them, and that makes it easier to navigate life.
Maybe I'm wrong about this, but you'd at least be able to add 'knowledge about neurodivergence' to your skillset.
Hey man! You seem like a really intelligent guy. I'm sorry you are going through all of this. I think you should look at this time as a blessing. Keep working on yourself. My first thought was maybe you can get some kind of office job that doesn't require you to stand or lift. But that might be horrible for you. It sounds like you crave meaning in your life which is totally understandable. I think you would benefit from doing some kind of service work. Something where you are directly helping people. I work at a convenience store and I have actually gotten a lot of it despite not thinking i would. Also, it's a lot more challenging than one would think so it actually requires a lot of cognitive energy. I would recommend something like that because helping other people really does give your life more purpose. You sound so similar to me and it really did help me (I also don't want to assume it will work so it's only a suggestion).
You also seem like you have creativity that is dying to get out. Keep working on making things. Even if it's not a job, do it as a side thing until you can make money from it. I used to think that if I was going to be a musician, I couldn't do anything else. I had to just make it my life and make money from it. It took me a long time to realize that I can be many things and that if i want to work a regular job during the day to pay the bills, I can do that. I can also do my creative stuff on nights and my days off. That's just a thought.
But you seem like a smart guy and maybe don't need anyone's advice. I think you will figure it out. I would recommend just doing something rather than waiting for the perfect thing to come along. Good luck man. I see a lot of myself in you. You are not abnormal at all. I'd be friends with you in a heart beat.
2 and almost 3 monetised channels in completely different areas of youtube and without promoting them on each channel is insanely impressive
I think he should post them here if he hasn't already
Sorry to hear of your experiences. As an ex University manager, I’m very concerned to hear how you were treated for having time off. Most universities usually allow you quite a lot of flexibility to work around medical conditions. If you completed particular modules and can evidence this, you can often join other universities with some or all of the modules recognised. Open University is one particular option which might allow you to continue your studies.
That's awesome that you've managed to grow your UA-cam channels to the point they're monetized, who knows they might just turn into something that you could rely on for income!
Monetized? I'm not at that point. But its an interesting notion
@@Add- Guess I misunderstood, thought you said you had another channel that was at that point
Ohh yes sorry, I assumed (wrong) you meant here. Yes the other one is
You will be ok. Things get better and even out. 🧡🙏🏻
i just love you ❤️
Thankyou.
everything is gonna be okay ❤
Hi Adam, I saw your 2 videos and you remind me of a friend of mine who always has some level of adversity between him and his goals. He's a smart dude and very creative when it comes to music production. However his way of keeping up a steady income level dosnt work as he dosnt want to work a regular job.
Which I completely understand, I dont have a reg job and own my own online business which I have tried to convert him to try for himself but he over complicates and creates walls of adversity and if he dosnt have X program or Y skill then he has to go to uni to study or something.
And now There are so many ways to learn off the internet new skills and know what you want to do.
I think for your prime days of working are likely limited due to your back issues, that will probably hurt you in the long run.
My advice is to as you mentioned it you like 3D art which says to me you dont mind creating on the computer which is great for anyone in that position as there is 0 start up and all you need to do is learn and practice, however 3D art is a dime of a dozen trade, everyone wants to do it and its always for something obscure like games which its again super competitive and hard to get into.
My advice is to learn something else on the computer thats adjacent to 3D art, my recommendation is learning an easier coding language like python or something of that nature that will guarantee you an income and I can say from experience its a sure fire way to get good money without leaving your home.
In saying that, it sounds like you have many distractions when it comes to your reactions to what life throws at you. We all react in different ways but you have to learn how to stay consistent at one thing and know 100% if you can make that skill a 100% viable one for your life. Theres no point going to school or learning a skill that has a low income ceiling and low availability for work.
I think this is an ok time to reinvent yourself but its important to know that instant gratification is toxic, now you have to spend good few years on a thing to get good at it, than bounce backwards and forwards.
Also, Stay off the language apps, they are designed to create a false sense of progression or just any apps like that with the exception of fitness apps IMO. Unfortunately that way of learning dosnt actually teach you anything, and you even said it, "You recognize patterns" but its kind of useless if you dont practice it in the real world and know what you are ACTUALLY capable of to get your mistakes corrected.
Sounds corny, but we only learn from our mistakes and failures if we can figure it out. Apps like that give you the answers and wont force you to try to figure it out.
So drop those apps if you can and maybe join a language school and throw yourself in that to see if you actually enjoy is and you wanna spend time doing that.
But to sum it up, focus on one thing at a time, have a creative outline, learn a skill thats in demand thats easier on your body know knowing you have back issues and go from there. If learning coding languages interest you, download the programs, watch some beginner videos on youtube, spend time learning and breaking things and trying to figure out things and use that in conjunction with Chat GPT which is like the ultimate side kick when it comes to self teaching to finding other ways to understand a thing.
Sorry to hear about what happened to you , I always found it weird that in the west you have to wait to be treated ,
Hearing about your achievements really give me hope and courage to overcome my anxiety and get out there and do things thank you so much .
i think the most important thing in life is to do whatever you love doing, so later on you wont feel like your wasted your time.. thats whats counts.
Hi Adam,
You need to check out McGill, he is the world leading expert on back injuries. His “back mechanic” book is the best foundation for understanding back injuries, including yours.
Also, if decompression is suggested, a simple, not well-known “exercise” is to do the following:
1. Sit on a chair with firm arm rests
2. Legs, knees and back in appr. 90 degrees
3. With arms on the side, hands just next to your buttocks, push downwards so your buttocks lift approximately an inch or two and becomes “weightless” and your thighs barely touch the chair
5. Completely relax your lower back/buttocks
The weight from your lower back, buttocks and upper leg will gently pull on your back downwards and decompress your back.
Takes just a few seconds and can be done almost anywhere, anytime
4.
Great videos, man. People like us are finally finding our voices. Thanks for reaching out, because I feel (emotionally) just like you, in a similar situation. It does suck, lol. But we're not alone. Ever seen the movie, Contact? "The only thing that makes the loneliness bearable, is each other."
I heard in the video that you said you are creative and love creating and since you cant be to mobile since your injury situation I would recommend lego. Ik it might sound childish but they have some very cool 18+ sets that are awesome to build. And if you keep getting good with it you could even work for lego and be a designer. Idk if this is something you would be interested in but I thought I mis awell tell you. 😁 Love your vids btw
chin up. just when you think it can't get any lower, it actually can. often it does.
just keep going. it's not about winning. it's about surviving. surviving is a kind of thriving.
my dad used to say that a guy he knew said smile, it could be worse. so my dad said i smiled, and it was.
the only way out of depression is to reactivate survival instincts; try a fast, train hard every day and always improve even a little. Make important choices and make radical changes especially those that take you out of your comfort zone. Induce as much effort into your life as possible and you will see yourself reborn. finally change your mindset, don't complain and embrace the infinite possibilities and opportunities that you can find in every moment in every problem
You are not a failure, stop thinking of yourself as such. I'm 45 and live in a shitty flat, no girlfriend, no wife, no husband. Get good at the things you like. Get a job involving the the things you like. (I wanted to be an electrician but couldn't get funding for the full time uni course
You seem to me like one of those people who are just never happy and crave learning new things, on and on and on it goes. Most people only ever truly succeed at something after bloody years and years and years of doing that thing, often for little no money,struggles until something happens.
I actually hate nearly everything about myself. I have a college degree,I've had great jobs in life but I'm never able to keep them because I'm not good at anything. I'm u attractive, low-income, awkward and boring. I truly wish i had the courage to e.n.d. it all. There is no point in me being around, I add nothing to society. I'm worthless trash.
I like your videos, man. I know you're not asking for advice, but I've personally found that a certain type of mushroom ;) works absolute miracles for anxiety and depression.
Alot of airlines want multi lingual people .....but its important to go outside .
its never too late.....
Just watched both of these videos. Please please please don't get caught in framing yourself as a 'loser' or thinking about how your past didn't pan out. Because:
1 - A lot of that was circumstantial, beyond your control, and
2 - A lot of that was designed by those in power to keep us down
The educational systems in the US are failing in a similar fashion. There are so so many smart, educated, hard-working young men who are still unable to find work, and even after finding work, are unable to afford housing for their family, and even after affording housing for their family, are unable to build wealth. This isn't an isolated problem for you, because you specifically are a loser, but a broad problem for mostly everyone (in the modern west), because everyone is suffering under a globalized elite invisibly c*cking us all. We are too advanced as a society for the housing crisis to be written off as an 'accident' or 'quirk' or 'market force'- raising the housing costs is something modern societies do to intentionally levy control over the populous and keep them busy.
And yeah, the fundamental lack of sympathy for men is heartbreaking. It's so easy to have poor mental health given the extreme expectations of society (financially and socially) right alongside the lack of support from other people or trust in the systems and institutions. And for you having your back give out that just adds to the pressure.
On the bright side, having a lot of free time (as you do now) is a huge opportunity and privilege. Time is one of the most valuable resources, and many people in the world don't have that much open, ongoing, uninterrupted time. You have the freedom to study endlessly and explore such broad mental worlds and domains. UA-cam and gaming and duolingo will certainly help with that. You can read whatever you want, study subjects on your own terms, and basically become a genius if the time allows. And relax, of course. Don't remember if you mentioned there being a set amount of time- who knows, it might last a while!
You could get into fantasy books too. There's a lot I would start reading if I didn't feel oncoming financial pressure.
True I feel like it's crazy that he feels like s failure when he got failed and his university literally "stole" his time and credits for his civil engineering..he should book an appointment with a civil court lawyer whether to sue or not since it's a bit unfair to ruin his life and literally help him get into a state of depression where he literally is taking anti depressants...He states he fits savings I hope he learns how to invest it well if his body is improving rather than not... I definitely feel like he could get some where with his gaming yt Channel if he learns to thumbnail and title and upload consistently and really work hard on it...he can see if his games are truly marketable and profitable to lose some fun by commentating and reacting in a exaggerating and attention grabbing way...sure he could look for older audiences who like more chill ytbers but I find older ytbers a bit more lazier to find new content creators or they are dying breed...
@@meh6513 Yeah I think maybe part of him deep down knows that he was screwed over, but he's seeking outside perspective to validate how crazy his scenario seems. And yeah, it is crazy, and he was screwed over, it's totally not "his fault", and if that sort of story happens to enough people there will be massive political revolt.
Massive respect to you man for sharing your feelings with the world, something most of us will go to the ends of the earth to hide away. Perhaps if we didn't the world would be a better place. Interesting what you say about friends dropping off - unfortunately a lot of people can be very status-minded and, while they won't admit it, will be unconsciously slotting you into a 'hierarchy'. This is to an extent a function of Capitalism, how many of us have had friends drop us when they feel they have ''left you behind'' or failing that just become inconvenient to them ? I'm 45 with a job and a wife and the truth is nobody gives a real crap about anybody outside their immediate family/support network and often not even then. Many friendships are based on proximity and mutual convenience or some kind of need they have which you, at that particular moment, are able to meet. But this changes and then you're made redundant from the job of '' friend'', then the system tells you you're a failure, as with losing a job or getting divorced. We're all incentivised/pressurised with the carrot and the stick to seek goals which are basically unattainable for the majority of the population and even if we achieve a measure of them insecurity keeps us in line. We live in a system predicated on the precarity of resources (jobs, relationships, shelter) and have become somewhat infantilised by the influence of Americana and the imposition of it's corporate high school teen values. The eugenicist contest for ''success'', ''popularity'' (as opposed to relationships) and of course that elusive gift, material wealth. People who consider themselves ''winners'' seek to form a little club where they can look down upon the plebs from their dizzying heights of unsullied-ness, something which the politics of inequality facilitates of course. The justification for this odious Stepford routine is of course that you are ''toxic'', so they must isolate/exclude you from their group to avoid it's contamination. Perfect people spawning perfect products from the place of perfection. As I said, it's basically eugenicist. Then of course feeding into that is the influence of crass life coaching ideology, again emanating from California. The ''you are a toxic influence on my preciousness because you've said something I don't like ''', the ''you need to worship me because I'm special'' and the 'you can't be my friend if you're their friend'' syndromes. I'd also argue that in many respects modern society is one which favours women in terms of the general culture, the nature of office-based employment, Capitalist economics and the apparent bias of the courts against men . Anyway.....after all that negativity the good news is that the clowns who remove you as a 'toxic' or undeserving influence from their lives aren't isolating you from them because you will in some way 'contaminate' them with your 'toxicity', they're isolating themselves from you. You get to realise that the conventional goals you are incentivised to pursue aren't really all that - which isn't to say don't try and improve your material position or get out there in the world, you've got to, just don't feel like a failure because you're absolutely not and we've all been there. The whole concept of ''failure'' is the warning/threat society gives us for not toeing the line, reaching it's worst expression in the unnecessary presence of the homeless dying on our streets. You are doing what you need to do, building strength. Respect to you bro, keep it up :-)
There is only one thing that can save middle aged men and that is fitness and building muscle. This is so important for middle aged men to avoid future health problems.
Have you considered an Open University module? They are used to teaching people from distance and with disabilities or mental and physical health problems.
If you're into arts and creation, also look up the Open College of Arts
I think it's cool that you know Spanish and is interested in coding, as well as being creative. You can try to be a freelancer for businesses in Spanish speaking countries like Spain, or by writing stories for the Spanish market. If not, you can start your own business online. It's never too late to start.
Just accept, it is what it is, big sigh and accept your half way. You have a roof, food, people that love you and take anti depressive. Life sucks
My life also useless life I will not achive any thing in my life but life is life ,no goals in my life 😔I am 33 years old unmarried lady
I commented this on your last video. I’m sorry life has been so hard for you. However, I want you to know that your life will change if you embrace the love and joy that the Lord Jesus Christ offers. I pray that he will offer you healing and purpose in this chaotic world. God bless you Adam. Love you all
Learning a language is always good :)
What you have all the time in the world to do right now is plan. Plan plan plan. Set out a guideline and achievements you’d like to accomplish-not in a year, not in 10 years but as soon as your able to.
Thanks for the video Adam. Try the piano or an instrument. HD piano is a great place to learn piano in a much easier way on UA-cam. Was going through a rough period early 30s and the piano got my mind off everything, forcing my to concentrate completely on what I was playing. Might not be your cup of tea but can't reccoment it enough
If I'm honest out of all the instruments, I like the idea of the piano, really only because of musical comedy, there is something about a good song that can get laughs but is also layers of talent
Yo dude I am seeing some lack of confidence in yourself. Perfect example is you saying you don’t think you will ever be able to speak Spanish. Yes you can! You have it in you please don’t limit yourself! Best of luck!
Thankyou, for seeing something in me that I struggle to.
There are so many similarities between you and I.
lot of excuses, do or or don't. it's only going to effect you positively or negatively
You really put ad on your videos...
good on ya mate
Is there links to your over channels as I'm interested in the gaming one ;)
dude, many things between us are uncanny. i studied art and design...... now ai art does in 10 seconds what takes me 10 hours solid...... carpentry..... really excelled at joinery........ what takes a cnc machine 45 minutes takes me 3 days and cnc is within 0.100mm of tolerance lol. both my qualifications are useless in todays society. when i did bag a carpentry job..... my back locked up and I've been waiting over a year with still no result :/ ........... the company also went into liquidation. funnily ....... I'm duel nationality and speak Spanish. just a thought though, you say you don't get out much,.... you ever thought about getting a motorcycle? its actually great for mental health and very social. i'm kent based but your openness is refreshing and i wish more men spoke as openly.......especially with the way mens mental health is really at in modern society.......... as for me i find that most men don't get into things like you do, which is pretty much how i am as a person. id rather have an actual conversation than a closed off "we don't talk about this type of stuff as men"
Hey there Adam, what is your gaming channel on UA-cam if you don't mind me asking?
pls link your gaming channel. i want to see your LP's (Let's Play's)
Haha I appreciate that but I think its best not to cross the beams 😅
@@Add- what? why not? i'd love to see your vid
Same, I’d love to subscribe! Great way to grow the gaming channel more too.
You must go on. You only fail or think you fail because you are comparing yourself to a social standard, not your true spiritual self. You only fail when you are dead and never tried. Society and women are the root cause of a man's sense of failure.
Do you have eternal life.
Maybe decorate your bedroom. Instead of gaming. Pride in your surrounding will rub off into general life.
White, reflect the light and make everything feel bigger. He can’t paint it himself though
You mean "in addition to" gaming, right?
Nope he won’t be able to do that, I’m not sure why not… but I’m sure he will have an excuse why he cant 🤷🏼♂️
The guys back is wrecked- How is he going paint his room numbnuts?
hello!?! 🙂
Hi 👋
hope you’re doing well💕
xxLaura
whst kinda camera you usimg
You are not a failure, as you have tried many things. Keep going. Take an Autism test
Like that would help anything 😅
Bro learn to pray. Head to a church unless you want to stay burdened. Why suffer when there is a way. I can't guarantee physical healing which is possible but mentally you will be healed for sure.
Why did you pay for an MRI..? these are available on the NHS. I'm not surprised you can't save up for a house to get out of your parents place mate.
Because moving out is more important than my health.. good one.
@@Add- it’s not a matter of importance, it’s just spending money where it wasn’t necessary. A&E or your GP could have gotten you this scan for free. I know, I’m an MRI radiographer.
OK so its not a matter of importance isn't it?
I woke 1 day with little to no movement in my legs, and back spasm that made me black out hourly.
If I go to my gp, they will put my through the usual procedures.
1 meds, 2 self referral to physio. After a 4 month wait to have a phonecall with the physio its a further minimum of 6 weeks where I am before you get to see somebody. A 6 week period with the physio, to then be referred back to the gp to by then sent to get an mri. 12-18 month wait for the mri scan, then onto the waiting list to see the specialist, then the 6-24 mo th wait to see the specialist.
Total time looking about 3 years.
Or
Wake up 1 day with the above issues, pay to get an mri privately within 3 days from the call, get results 2 days later, see gp 1 week after the scan, be referred directly to the specialist because I had the mri and the results already.
They then also put me to the physio so I know the waiting time there as I had to go through it anyway, they give me months worth of meds, as I had the mri and they knew what they were dealing with. And from January it was 5-6 months before I saw the specialist, which I was lucky to get as I was given a cancellation spot.
Currently now going through recovery, giving me a working body back 1.5 YEARS before I would of got it...
Its literally important for my health and situation..
@@Add- Your assumption of how a GP should act in your situation is a wrong. Any lower back pain that is affecting the lower limbs this much could because a cauda equina and is clinically very serious and the GP should refer you on an urgent pathway and they would not waste time with a physio.. And where do you live that has a wait that long for an MRI?! Did they tell you that is the wait list? That is a very large range. To be honest, your symptoms warranted going to A&E. I am not trying to understate your health issues, just that I think your understanding of how lower back pain is not ALWAYS treated the same way, it depends on so many factors.
@@WelshKyle my assumptions on the GP are not even assumptions, I have walked this line many times prior. I understand that it could of been quite serious. its why I called 111 in the first place when I almost passed out failing to get out of bed, you know what they said, we will book you a call with your gp, call us back if it gets worse, I asked what is worse than blacking out and having next to no control over my legs... the reply, well, if it gets worse call us back.
I then got a text from my GP to say that the call wouldn't happen, I had been booked on a face to face in 30 days time I called them to ask why and I was told, a Dr has reviewed the referral and sees that a face to face in 30 days time is the correct procedure to take in this situation
as for the waiting times there's were told to me by the Doctor who would see me, and the specialist waiting times were next to each hospital I had the choice from when picking the specialist.
I love our NHS it has done me the world of good over the years, but this 1 situation, from my experience of it, was a complete cluster fuck. Now imagine that and saying spending money when its not needed.. totally deluded, you might work in the sector, but have no idea what its like as a patient using it elsewhere.
I wanted to leave some honest advice which I believe that may help but I hope you take this as constructive criticism.
Step one is accepting complete responsibility to where you are at right now now. There is no going back and it’s only looking forward.
I believe the worse thing you can be doing right now is waiting to hear back from the MRI appointment. With back/disc injuries it’s so easy to fall into what I call the “Old man mindset” you base your whole life around what has happened to your back and becomes a part of your personality and you become to scared to do ANYTHING. You won’t lift things or scared to move so much.
Instead of creating Spanish streaks you need to start creating a gym streak, make it a streak to enter the gym doors everyday whilst your off work. Find out what you can and can’t do. Sonia will do fuck all for your current circumstance
Maybe the treadmill is too harsh, but maybe the step machine works fine, then challenge yourself to do more each time.
When I started back gym after injury on my T6/T7, I did my whole workout with 1kg dumbbells, went back the next day and did it with 2kg. Within a month I was at moderate weight around 10kg which wasn’t to much but with slow form, high reps, not to strenuous on my back due to light weight. It was enough to stimulate my muscles and my mental and physical health was improving and I started to tone.
Instead of sitting at home thinking about what you can’t do get out and start figuring out what you can do. You’re not in work so use this time to challenge yourself. Long walks with podcasts in head phones, learn about people that have been in your situation and got out of it, maybe learn to cook and try new foods. The worse thing you can be doing is sat at home playing victim. It’s a dark lonely road and will do you no benefits. I have been there.
The “interest” thing you talk about, you got to remember you’re a man and have to do the things you’re not interested in. I’m not interested in cleaning my room, sweating in the gym, meal prep, uncomfortable talks with friends, learning a skill that could benefit me.
But I’d rather go through the pain of discipline and fight back than the pain of sitting at home, feeling sorry for myself,
Chose your pain man, because there is no getting out of it. Use the pain the become better and don’t let current circumstances become your personality.
So much more I would like to add but I don’t want to write an essay. This comment has come from a place from love ❤️ May god be with you
Spanish** not Sonia 😂
nice adam
Maybe try some THC for ur pain. Might be a better alternative than taking pills. It’s helpin my folks with their medicine instead of having to take pills that make u feel even worse than before
You look like eradicator superman
I’m not the one to tell people what to think or what to do, however I feel that I can provide some valuable advice. And that would be to stop being a victim of life. If you take responsibility for everything that is or isn’t your fault. Btw I don’t think Spanish is going to help your situation.
You are not alone on this, run to Jesus and He will rescue you. The road won't be easy but it will be worth it.
You need physical therapy and corrective gymnastics.
Many of these conditions can be fixed without surgery.
Stop comparing yourself to others. Compare yourself to yesterday.
Commentaire pour algorithm
merci 💙
Mate, you are in danger of becoming someone who thrives on not thriving. We have one such in our social group. He's 52 now, thrives on his anxiety 'diagnosis'. He's unhappy but don't anyone dare tell him he's brought it on himself. Just get up off your a*** and do anything. Things, people, opportunities only come from doing, not vegetating. If you had a magical thing you wanted to do you would know by now. Just be like the rest of us. Ordinary and accepting of it.
True, it's not gonna help that he is getting a shed load of attention for being a self proclaimed loser.
Sounds like your friend is a little condescending and shaming. Could be red flags for a disingenuous friend.
Get to the gym
Gov. You need to geo max and move to South East Asia. Its cheap to live and you can find a wife
Geo max ?!? Why can’t you incels just use normal words
@@AA-il1we Its a widely used term. Go jerk off to more feet creepo
@@AA-il1we I'm sure you studs use proper punctuation all the time.
@@AA-il1we Yes, "geo max" is super lame terminology. No, OP's advice is not disrespectful towards women in any way (or racist, in case anybody wants to throw that one out in the future lol). OP's advice is solid (aka evidence-based), financially smart and philanthropic.
These types of marriages work *because* they're mutually beneficial; the foreigner who brings their money and resources into the marriage isn't just providing for their spouse, they're providing for the spouse's family and often their extended family as well, or even an entire township/village. We all know that women from developing countries move to the very countries these so-called incel men are in, specifically to find these men and marry them so they can have access to their money and thus provide for their families.
Grow up, broaden your world view or... idk go sit down somewhere and be quiet. You're not getting any points for defending women because there's nothing to defend.
@@karmakameleon113 Exactly. Every relationship is mutually beneficial.
Did you look into Jordan Peterson? Not the post coma, brain damage, culture war and colorful suits Peterson of now, but his old stuff
E-commerce will get you money bro
Travel, open your mind. You're learning a language, drop yourself in latin America and put it to good use. I assume you have no bills if you're living with your folks, save every penny and get the hell out of the UK. Stop comparing yourself to others. The world is so much more than the British Isles.
health is the most important
Adam do you happen to use opiate pain and mental health medication?
I know that personally they are something that I’ve taken in the past that have made me have similar feelings as yourself.
I am 36 yo and I hit a road block many years ago, I feel like I understand what you may be going through. I hope things get better for you.
Play or learn guitar or model kits
Its over you should get drunk every day after work
nah don't do that. fun comment though