I've noticed that Dr K does such a good job at asking just the right questions so that his patients come to their own conclusions on their own situation, even if that conclusion is something that Dr K had in mind from the beginning. I wish more therapists treated their patients like this!
From my experience most registered psychologists do try to do that, and only interject or provide their own opinion when deemed necessary. It's a fairly common methodoloy imo
@@jetjet6560 My therapist has explicitly told me he doesn't make suggestions, only tries to guide my own thoughts towards solutions I come up with on my own. Like any good therapist he's careful about respecting boundaries and autonomy, even when I want him to just tell me what to do!
At least from what I know (from some German CBT therapists) that's actually something that is very much emphasized when studying to practice CBT. Could be that you have worked with therapists that aren't clinically trained or that in your country of origin things are done differently.
There are many approaches in therapy that prioritize this, and even in our class our professor emphasized that we must first learn how to listen before we go about learning the solutions. Humanist/Existensialist/Phenomenologists approaches to therapy are mainly the ones who heavily does this type of therapy, as well as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectic Behavioral Therapy.
Title of the previous interview with Asriel: "Fear of Failure, Overanalyzing, and Escaping into Fantasy | Dr. K Interviews" (for anyone else who's interested).
I don't know if you'll read this, but: Hello Asriel, great to see you again! I'm female and a good 10 years older than you, but your interviews really touched me. I overanalyze stuff too and get super anxious. While I did not have an abusive childhood, my folks didn't meet my emotional needs either - I'm in therapy about that and have been for a while. Just wanted to say, I'm so glad you are putting the work in and thrilled to see your progress. I'm rooting for you and wish you a joyful life! You'll get there.
Am not Asriel, but identified with him and you ! So i wish you the best of luck in life, hopefully we can get over our problems together as a community !
@@Rikarwb Thank you so much! I think that we've found this community definitely is a step in the right direction. I can definitely say therapy helps a great deal. Wishing you all the best.
@@JadedShrew777 Thank you aswell ! I actually haven't done therapy because I'm too scared haha, how is therapy in your country (wherever you're from) ?
@@Rikarwb I'm in Central Europe. It's been a long process but I feel like I am making progress. If you are able to go, I do recommend it (although you may need to shop around to find the right therapist). Therapists have heard it all; most people can benefit from talking to someone every once in a while.
@@JadedShrew777 really ? Im in South West Europe(Portugal), so rather close ! That's the worst, just the thought of opening to someone is scary, imagine several "someones"... for now im just watching videos, hopefully that's a good start
I have been a lurker for a while on your channel. I can tell you with certainty that your videos can absolutely change lives. I've had trust and anger issues my whole life. I've felt a great deal of guilt and shame. Your channel has really taught me to dig a little deeper into my issues. To question the critic in my head. Specificity three interviews you had with the transwoman and the incel guy. Those two completely shifted my perspective on life. I found them so relatable that it silenced the feeling that I'm alone. After that i started paying closer attention to the verbiage I use even in my own thoughts. Those thoughts and feelings still pop up from time to time, however it feels like a 2/10 instead of a 10/10 on the emotions scale. Your videos gave me the tools I needed to climb myself out of the pit I dig myself into. Keep doing what you're doing man.
Haven't cried in years until just now. It was so sudden but it felt like Dr. K was speaking directly to me. "Exactly what you are can make the world a better place." Here is one more life impacted by that. Thank you so much.
tbh that simile is a reflection of his emotional armoring. If you notice when dr K breaks him a couple of times his smile is wiped. I find it annoying. :D
25:55 Dr. K, Sincerely one of your oldest fans, and one who initially struggled with alot of shit when I started watching, I've improved my quality of life and mental health *significantly* . I would dare to say it feels like by an order of magnitude. So do not ponder this ridicilious question, you've changed my life for the better and I've found my reason to exist thanks to you.
Wanted to say the same when I heard that! These videos have so much impact it's ridiculous. I've been watching UA-cam self-improvement content for so fucking long and finding this channel was so unexpected. Like, how can a single channel have so much impact on you? I just wanna say to Dr. K that his channel is so unique and powerful, that there's literally nothing like it. I love him and what he's doing.
I watched Azrael's first stream last week coincidentally. I thought he was such a gentle soul and was so saddened to see how beat up emotionally he seemed. Seeing him now, he looks way better and is able to still keep that same gentleness about him. It honestly makes me happy to see that and in a way helps me feel more hopeful about things that go on with myself. Just last week I felt like I had a huge period of regression, so it resonated with how he had a breakdown. These streams are great for the soul and great to be able to reach acceptance. I think that I've also dealt with beating myself up for literally decades. And the second I had an experience where I felt like I took two steps back, I immediately went back to beating myself up almost automatically. Luckily I was able to meditate on it and realize that I have been making strides, and it's okay to hit a few snags along the way. The biggest thing is having acceptance in general. Even if it hurts like hell, there is some peace left after it. I wish it was easier as Dr. K says, but in the end I'm happy I went through that, because it means I'm growing.
The timing is impeccable. I just watched the first interview today and now this follow-up is so recent. I identify wholly with Asriel (Thomas) in pretty much every coping mechanism he displays. I get the frustration for others watching, but it's hard to NOT be this way. De-programming is a big hurdle. Tricking your mind into believing something so hard-programmed takes effort. And when you feel like "nothing" you don't put effort into yourself. You give up and think 'why bother'? It's a vicious circle but you get into a push-pull with yourself. I'm inspired by his progress since the last interview. That is the "hope" we all need to see.
This was such an excellent call to listen to. The viewer does such a good job at trying to walk through his own emotions and spell them out for Dr K, and Dr K is so good at asking just the right questions, I didn't see his interview from a year ago but it really seems like hes worked very hard at it!
I don't know if Asriel ever sees this but I want to thank you and that it is true that you help many people. I myself have identical problems with you, even my parents are split up and my step-mother is alcoholic making me feel not going out of my room when she drinks. I also put all my blame to myself and feeling worthless. Both of your sessions helped me realize things that I'd have never thought of it wasn't you. Thank you again man, you are doing a great job.
I find it kind of ironic that the title and topic of this video is that the patient feels unimportant, neglected, and "not good enough" then you a-holes post a comment completely unrelated and thumbs it up. Yes i'm curious, but I'm happy he got around to this because I feel like it's relatable. There's plenty of time to go back to the incel guy.
It’s so good seing Asrael again and I’m so glad he’s getting better. Your 1st appearance had a big impact on me and this one is even better, it’s very relatable. Thank you.
I’m really glad Asriel came back. His first interview made me think a lot about myself and this interview made me think a lot about my self worth and my relationship with my parents. I really like his energy and motivation to better himself and I hope he finds happiness in life.
Hey Dr K I would like to let you know I live in Brisbane, Australia and have been listening to your videos on UA-cam for 12 months or so, and along with my own personal therapy sessions, I know your conversations have helped me a lot, and I'm 58 y/o mum, so big thanks to you!
this video came right when i needed it. i've been dealing with the feeling of being an outsider all this time, i would do my best for the people i care about but when it comes to me i just don't see the point, like i don't matter. and im really glad that he has progressed a lot since last interview.
I love Dr K. He isn't afraid to blame people and call them out when they were bad parents or something. From someone who's past was full of physical and verbal abuse it feels soothing to find someone like that. Unfortunately my therapist isn't that good at understanding these types of things... Maybe deflecting the blame to me isn't the best thing to do honestly.
Replace Love with like, you like him, not love. Replace blame with responsibility; if your therapist can't see how your parents were responsible for you not being fucked, then replace the therapist. It's okay to blame, as long as you take responsibility and move forward, so that negative energy is released, instead of building up resentment which is often the case.
I think it also shows that sometimes even good parents can make mistakes and it's ok to recognize that. Just because we love someone doesn't mean we have to ignore their faults.
@G M Chill, man. You are picking on this comment, whether it's approprietely phrased, when no hurt is done. The comment er is just being enthusiastic. Nothing out of place with feeling of being understood and showing appreciation and true emotions in the comment section, when this community is meant for healing and support.
This is awful late, but do you have any tips for letting go of the resentment? I harbor so much toward my parents and am so far stuck in the angry stage that I feel trapped. I've been here for over a year now and I feel like I've made no progress. I just want to let go, and despite all the advice I've received and attempts I have made, here I remain. I just want peace and it feels so unattainable.
@@FaalKoriim Sure I do have some! Firstly, as a lot of people have told me, you'd want to get out of your parents house ASAP, but just like me, I understand some people can't do that right now. So what I did to manage the resentment and get past it instead was to just embrace who they are. They're not gonna change and that is okay, it's okay to just let them be, horrible flaws and all. You'll inevitably bump heads with them and they will throw massive temper tauntrums, but part of getting peaceful closure on your part is to try to remain calm and collected when things like that happen, and if your parents are like mine (iirc they don't let you even defend your own point) you have to power through. You can always vent and cry in your alone time and to your close friends, perhaps also writing a diary is useful for keeping track of your emotional triggers and how to handle them correctly. A therapist may also help a lot, but in my experience you have to tell them first off that you were abused as a child and you're looking for healing, closure and if you live with them, a way to manage until you can get out :)
This interview was a huge revelation to me. The "loving but disappointed parents" line hits very close to home. I feel like I'm starting to understand myself better after watching this, and I'm very thankful to both Dr.K and Asriel for making this happen!
I cried 1:30:00 when Dr K really drove home that Asriel is providing value. A, because I also felt confronted by that notion, but also B, I just desperately wanted to give Asriel a hug at that moment.
Somehow I both like and dislike Asriel - and I'm pretty sure it's because I relate to him so much I'm projecting how I feel about myself. I think thats why his interviews helped me so much.
@@Rikarwb Inappropriate affect possibly. I'm also sensing he got brainwashed by his father (and mother maybe too) to please everyone everyone and put on a good face to the public. Even as he was crying he was smiling and try to cover it up... Really sad.
@@hansonel yeah, I used to do it a lot, not as much anymore. it's something I'm trying to work on being less awkward in conversations and more present/focused on my own thoughts and beliefs instead of what others think of me.
Asriel is so good at describing his emotions. I relate to a lot of it, but I was never able to describe it that well. Extremely helpful. I hope he comes back for the 3rd time! It's just such a valuable journey.
Physical regulation: I've felt like I've been doing my family's SIDE quests for years, never in touch with my own Main quest. They were never in touch with my Main quest either. Ending enmeshment with my family and LETTING myself be angry with them for the *medical* neglect was crucial to me discovering what my Main quest even has been this whole time: repairing my body. Emotional regulation: The *infancy* abuse I experienced let me with an attachment disorder. It has felt isolating, if I don't belong with my family, I'm not sure I can belong with anyone. Yeah, yeah, blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb. But I don't belong with friends either.
I had a similar job experience. My first job last year was at Amazon and I applied for part time but they told me I would be doing 10 hour days, 4 days a week. On day 2 they worked me for 12 hours and told me it was mandatory overtime, and I quit the next day because I couldn't handle it. Now ive been working a part time grocery store job for 8 months and I am really happy about where I am.
I've watched both streams and I know, Asriel, that your streams here have done me a world of good. I'm a middle-aged mom and I can relate to you so much. Thank you for being brave enough to let us know you a bit. You are an incredible person and you're breaking the cycle, we believe in you!
This interview hit so close to home it hit in my room on my bed back home. I'm still feeling that frustration along with Asriel anytime Dr.K keeps trying to show appreciation. All bullets of appreciation are so easy to dodge I don't even make a face doing it anymore. Any genuine thanks or shows of appreciation is just answered with a stone face. Maybe if someone did something extra special one day to break through my barriers but what I can imagine is way beyond anything realistic to expect from anyone.
I’m so glad Asriel is back, I was literally thinking back a couple days ago on the video I watched about him almost a year ago, what a funny coincidence. that video really resonated with me. Instantly saved this vid for later. cheers ~
I can change your skeptisism for sure, 100%! Your videos have changed my life and for the same reason Asriel says. I apply what I hear to my life and listen to your insight. Helped me so much :)
He is able to sit in front of thousands of people and open up about himself and his struggle, which is something that is hard to top in case of scariness but then he struggles to show up in front of a few people to work. Fascinating! Is this something he is not aware of? Or am i assuming something wrongly here? Sorry for my bad inglish!
I think because this isn't like work. This is him sitting down and talking about himself. Whereas at works there are expectations and results to show. Also, the audience is not physically present with him when he is talking to Dr K.
Maybe it's scarier to be judged by someone you are going to see again than by a crowd of people you will probably never encounter in your daily life. Or maybe it feels like a safer space because work can be a high stakes environment. We can only speculate.
I definitely am aware of that yeah, my first interview was absolutely terrifying but I think it prepared me for this interview to be easier, especially because I knew what to expect and the supportive community. with work, specifically the job I was trying to force myself to go to at the time was particularly stressful because I didn't know what would happen and figured there was a good chance people would be mad at me/that I wouldn't be able to perform etc. just an update though I found myself a decent job last summer with an amazing environment as a dishwasher and I have returned to the same restaurant to learn to become a cook more recently.
I think something I finally realize now that I'm older is that I understand that I will never be enough. I'm never enough to fulfill my job's satisfaction, never enough to fulfill my own satisfaction, nor enough to accomplish my goals. I know that I will never be enough and I try to adapt to that realization, but I don't think I quite realize that I probably can't adapt to it. There is no point to anything but yet there is some slim chance of hope that remains and I cannot understand where it comes from.
i watched his first interview last night, thinking i might not get an update… saw this at the top of my feed this morning and i was SO HAPPY!!! he’s such an amazing soul and i resonate with him on a way i can’t put into words. i feel a love for him. i’m so happy to see he’s still being himself, and even though i’m a bit late to the party here i hope he’s still “showing up”! and i hope he shows up with Dr. K again!! much love buddy i’m here with you ❤
I love all of these interviews. There hasn’t been one that hasn’t been helpful or eye opening. I kinda feel like I could benefit from talking to dr k too
This video has been so helpful to me, thank you Dr. K. And thank you Azriel for showing up and being vulnerable, and simply talking your way through all this it really resonated with me. I'll certainly be coming back to this one!
Just from the start of the interview, I can already tell he's doing better. Comparing his face and mannerisms to his last interview, he's far more expressive and comfortable in his own skin.
I appreciate both interviews with Asriel so much! This is some of the content from Dr. K, that has helped me the most. Thank you, Asriel. 💗 Your bravery in putting yourself out there with such vulnerability requires a lot of balls. Your insight, resilience, and willingness to work on yourself and to be open to Dr. K's guidance, is inspirational.
Really glad Asreal (sp?) came back. His interviews hit me especially hard and validate my own experiences/concerns. I am honestly eternally grateful that he has the balls to sit down for these interviews. He's like a hero in my head at this point.
I found it inspiring that he just didn't show up to his job. I find myself too socially anxious to not show up, to the point where my mind doesn't even see that as an option. I find it inspiring because I need it in my life right now. Thank you Asriel
I’ve been going through a really deep instrospection and wanting to heal. The part tagged as lacking intrinsic value got me good. I let out GUTTURAL Sad and Angry screams and cried harder than I think I’ve ever cried. I dont wven know why. Thank you Dr K for guiding Asriel in this talk. THANK YOU Asriel for being so brave, you are worth so much and just know youve helped at least one person, and I’m eternally grateful to you for existing.
Long time lurker, so nice to see dr k’s comments consistently supportive. There have been times where people get different but most the time it’s support. Good job y’all, you defy UA-cam culture
Man, thank you Asriel for being here, reintegrating myself into classes and can relate a bit to before I even get in there, feeling like I'll be the least contributing but Im going to give it a shot 🤜🤛 thank you
Am not Asriel but i respect the enthusiasm, so gotta give it back ! Let's go Fiorella ✊✊✊ (Would try to speak spanish, but my portuguese would get in the way haha)
I'm one of those people who this is helping. I have a bit of a strained relationship with my father emotionally, and I'm trying to resolve some of that. Definitely appreciate the guidance and discussion that Dr. K has around that. When he said "being a parent was another grind" it clicked hard
25:00 I don't know about others, but for me personally, the AoE healing has been working wonders. One of my most significant breakthroughs snowballed from watching Dr.K's interview with Sweet Anita. Even your youtube videos help tremendously!
Thank you so much. I watched that video and the first one and in that moment of my life I go through the same shit as you, Azriel. This video helped me a lot. You truly did make a difference in someone else's life. And we have to remember that. I started going to therapy once again, because I started having problems with making even the smallest decisions in my life. I learned that I can, I am able to make decisions by myself. Now trying to learn how to not regret those decisions, but I understand now that there are no perfect decisions. There is no one solution. There are only decisions that we make, not life lived by someone else.
Concerning Dr. K.'s doubts about the benefit of these video, I feel compeled to say I've learn so much through the interviews. I've learn about myself but also it helped me to understand deeper my friends and family. It has make a real diffrenece in my life, it help me change, have new set of tool to confront difficulties. Maybe it's not the same as a one to one conversation, maybe it takes more time for us to use the tool we picked up, but that's okay, we have this new tool and lots of opportunities to try it and found our own way to use it. No doubts at least for me that I've learned and changed thanks to it
Interesting! When I thought about what that means if they don't call you, I was like "That could mean that I was not important enough to this particular company and that, for them, I'm replacable. Maybe it was lucky, because I wouldn't wanna work for a company like that anyways. "And he went "I'm unimportant to everyone" instead T_T aaaaagh the feels
Dr. K: "I was appreciating you for who you are.... What you are is absolutely enough.... What you are can make the world a better place." Asriel: "...I don't think it's that I make the world a better place if I just come here and don't do something...." Dr. K: "I agree. That's what I appreciate." This exchange could be interpreted as Asriel only is worthy when he is doing something, which reinforces his people pleasing behavior -- that he is a human-doing, not a human-being. Dr. K started with a great statement that Asriel is appreciated for who he is, but then agreed with Asriel's more negative reframing / rationalization that he only is valuable by doing something for others. Asriel is helping a lot of people by participating in the stream, and it's a good starting point for Dr. K to help him recognize and accept that. It's important for Asriel to accept that he is worthy to take up space in this world and to exist without doing things for others. His value is more than doing things for others.
During the scouts thing and scout leader as a father, I can confirm, I had a discussion with my father when HE was a father, coming from Cubs (He was Mowgli!) and going to scouts, I CAN confirm this was a thing. This was an implicit rule among the code. He didn't do a very good job following the rule mind you, but as a smaller Scout group, we didn't find it was a huge deal. Maybe I was just good at keeping tabs on the stragglers so the adults didn't have to, but nonetheless OUR chapter at the very least did indeed have this "ruling" if not mentality. Awesome video, let's go Dr. K! Edit : He also used to say "We're all supposed to act like the parents the kids may, or may not have the chance to have" or something along those lines. I'm probably paraphrasing.
Have you considered doing a Viewer Interview series but for Success Stories? I want to hear from the people that managed to turn their life around or that are making positive progress as a great form of encouragement for everyone else.
Asriel I know I don’t know you but I really want to thank you and send this digital token of love fam. I love your introspection and I wish you the best
A year ago I watched this at the same boat. My overthinking allowed me to avoid difficulty, and drove me to being what some would call a failure. After a year, got a job, girlfriend and now am in yhe same nihilist view point as azreal yet again.
I've noticed that Dr K does such a good job at asking just the right questions so that his patients come to their own conclusions on their own situation, even if that conclusion is something that Dr K had in mind from the beginning. I wish more therapists treated their patients like this!
From my experience most registered psychologists do try to do that, and only interject or provide their own opinion when deemed necessary. It's a fairly common methodoloy imo
@@jetjet6560 My therapist has explicitly told me he doesn't make suggestions, only tries to guide my own thoughts towards solutions I come up with on my own. Like any good therapist he's careful about respecting boundaries and autonomy, even when I want him to just tell me what to do!
At least from what I know (from some German CBT therapists) that's actually something that is very much emphasized when studying to practice CBT.
Could be that you have worked with therapists that aren't clinically trained or that in your country of origin things are done differently.
There are many approaches in therapy that prioritize this, and even in our class our professor emphasized that we must first learn how to listen before we go about learning the solutions. Humanist/Existensialist/Phenomenologists approaches to therapy are mainly the ones who heavily does this type of therapy, as well as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectic Behavioral Therapy.
That's one of the fundamental things therapists are taught when studying to become one. Sad that there are way too many frauds who forget that
We love you Asriel, you showing up brought a lot of value to many people!
This is a surprise! Last interview with Asriel really helped me a lot..
Title of the previous interview with Asriel: "Fear of Failure, Overanalyzing, and Escaping into Fantasy | Dr. K Interviews" (for anyone else who's interested).
@@earlymorningladyfarts Thank you! I watched this interview just now and was looking for the first one with Asriel :)
@@milcky16 No problem!
I'm so sorry, I couldn't reply sooner!
@@SneKay99 its okay you're still worthy ;D
Duuuude, so cool that he’s back!
I don't know if you'll read this, but: Hello Asriel, great to see you again! I'm female and a good 10 years older than you, but your interviews really touched me. I overanalyze stuff too and get super anxious. While I did not have an abusive childhood, my folks didn't meet my emotional needs either - I'm in therapy about that and have been for a while. Just wanted to say, I'm so glad you are putting the work in and thrilled to see your progress. I'm rooting for you and wish you a joyful life! You'll get there.
Am not Asriel, but identified with him and you ! So i wish you the best of luck in life, hopefully we can get over our problems together as a community !
@@Rikarwb Thank you so much! I think that we've found this community definitely is a step in the right direction. I can definitely say therapy helps a great deal. Wishing you all the best.
@@JadedShrew777 Thank you aswell ! I actually haven't done therapy because I'm too scared haha, how is therapy in your country (wherever you're from) ?
@@Rikarwb I'm in Central Europe. It's been a long process but I feel like I am making progress. If you are able to go, I do recommend it (although you may need to shop around to find the right therapist). Therapists have heard it all; most people can benefit from talking to someone every once in a while.
@@JadedShrew777 really ? Im in South West Europe(Portugal), so rather close !
That's the worst, just the thought of opening to someone is scary, imagine several "someones"... for now im just watching videos, hopefully that's a good start
"where did I mess up for you to be like this", jesus, that's a pretty rough thing to say to your son.
It is really common thing parents say.
@@arraikcruor6407 how do u know. Maybe not say but think
@@arraikcruor6407 I agree. My parents have said the same thing too.
@@arraikcruor6407 In my experience this is usually said over smaller things, not big life decisions.
@@newuser689 Not recognizing parents made any mistakes is even worse, my experience... Love to you all
YES!! PLEASE do more follow up discussions, I think that is a massively important aspect of this whole process.
I have been a lurker for a while on your channel. I can tell you with certainty that your videos can absolutely change lives. I've had trust and anger issues my whole life. I've felt a great deal of guilt and shame. Your channel has really taught me to dig a little deeper into my issues. To question the critic in my head. Specificity three interviews you had with the transwoman and the incel guy. Those two completely shifted my perspective on life. I found them so relatable that it silenced the feeling that I'm alone. After that i started paying closer attention to the verbiage I use even in my own thoughts. Those thoughts and feelings still pop up from time to time, however it feels like a 2/10 instead of a 10/10 on the emotions scale. Your videos gave me the tools I needed to climb myself out of the pit I dig myself into. Keep doing what you're doing man.
Haven't cried in years until just now. It was so sudden but it felt like Dr. K was speaking directly to me. "Exactly what you are can make the world a better place." Here is one more life impacted by that. Thank you so much.
the best smile dude came back !! LETS GO
Ok I was really wondering if I've seen him before
what is the title of his vid before anyone remember? thx
@@boismd video about overanalysing by dr k
@@boismd Overanalyzing And Fear of Failure or something like that
tbh that simile is a reflection of his emotional armoring. If you notice when dr K breaks him a couple of times his smile is wiped. I find it annoying. :D
25:55 Dr. K, Sincerely one of your oldest fans, and one who initially struggled with alot of shit when I started watching, I've improved my quality of life and mental health *significantly* .
I would dare to say it feels like by an order of magnitude. So do not ponder this ridicilious question, you've changed my life for the better and I've found my reason to exist thanks to you.
Same made an extreme difference in my life as well. Went from amotivated doomer to actually going somewhere in life.
Wanted to say the same when I heard that! These videos have so much impact it's ridiculous. I've been watching UA-cam self-improvement content for so fucking long and finding this channel was so unexpected. Like, how can a single channel have so much impact on you? I just wanna say to Dr. K that his channel is so unique and powerful, that there's literally nothing like it. I love him and what he's doing.
I watched Azrael's first stream last week coincidentally. I thought he was such a gentle soul and was so saddened to see how beat up emotionally he seemed. Seeing him now, he looks way better and is able to still keep that same gentleness about him. It honestly makes me happy to see that and in a way helps me feel more hopeful about things that go on with myself. Just last week I felt like I had a huge period of regression, so it resonated with how he had a breakdown.
These streams are great for the soul and great to be able to reach acceptance. I think that I've also dealt with beating myself up for literally decades. And the second I had an experience where I felt like I took two steps back, I immediately went back to beating myself up almost automatically. Luckily I was able to meditate on it and realize that I have been making strides, and it's okay to hit a few snags along the way. The biggest thing is having acceptance in general. Even if it hurts like hell, there is some peace left after it. I wish it was easier as Dr. K says, but in the end I'm happy I went through that, because it means I'm growing.
The timing is impeccable. I just watched the first interview today and now this follow-up is so recent. I identify wholly with Asriel (Thomas) in pretty much every coping mechanism he displays. I get the frustration for others watching, but it's hard to NOT be this way. De-programming is a big hurdle. Tricking your mind into believing something so hard-programmed takes effort. And when you feel like "nothing" you don't put effort into yourself. You give up and think 'why bother'? It's a vicious circle but you get into a push-pull with yourself. I'm inspired by his progress since the last interview. That is the "hope" we all need to see.
This was such an excellent call to listen to. The viewer does such a good job at trying to walk through his own emotions and spell them out for Dr K, and Dr K is so good at asking just the right questions, I didn't see his interview from a year ago but it really seems like hes worked very hard at it!
I don't know if Asriel ever sees this but I want to thank you and that it is true that you help many people. I myself have identical problems with you, even my parents are split up and my step-mother is alcoholic making me feel not going out of my room when she drinks. I also put all my blame to myself and feeling worthless. Both of your sessions helped me realize things that I'd have never thought of it wasn't you. Thank you again man, you are doing a great job.
thanks!
Coming back to this video a little late but it's nice to read all the positive comments and I'm glad I was able to help others like yourself
This interview just like the last one still remains the most relatable to me. Im glad we got see Asriel again. Amazing video.
*you are always the main character because it's your life*
Can we get Paul the "incel" back on, really want to see how he's been doing... Anyone else curious?
yeah i am
yeeess
I'd like that too but god the comments on him last time were rude and disrespectful. I hope he didn't see those
Yes please
I find it kind of ironic that the title and topic of this video is that the patient feels unimportant, neglected, and "not good enough" then you a-holes post a comment completely unrelated and thumbs it up.
Yes i'm curious, but I'm happy he got around to this because I feel like it's relatable. There's plenty of time to go back to the incel guy.
It’s so good seing Asrael again and I’m so glad he’s getting better.
Your 1st appearance had a big impact on me and this one is even better, it’s very relatable. Thank you.
I’m really glad Asriel came back. His first interview made me think a lot about myself and this interview made me think a lot about my self worth and my relationship with my parents. I really like his energy and motivation to better himself and I hope he finds happiness in life.
I love Dr K's smile, it makes me feel like everything is going to be alright.
Hey Dr K I would like to let you know I live in Brisbane, Australia and have been listening to your videos on UA-cam for 12 months or so, and along with my own personal therapy sessions, I know your conversations have helped me a lot, and I'm 58 y/o mum, so big thanks to you!
WOOHOO! Hiya fellow Brissie gal :D I found Dr K's youtube maybe 3 months ago? Love to see how he's helping all the way across the globe~
this video came right when i needed it. i've been dealing with the feeling of being an outsider all this time, i would do my best for the people i care about but when it comes to me i just don't see the point, like i don't matter. and im really glad that he has progressed a lot since last interview.
I just watched the first interview before this one. My immediate impression was that he looks happier and more self-confident. Good on him!
I love Dr K. He isn't afraid to blame people and call them out when they were bad parents or something. From someone who's past was full of physical and verbal abuse it feels soothing to find someone like that. Unfortunately my therapist isn't that good at understanding these types of things...
Maybe deflecting the blame to me isn't the best thing to do honestly.
Replace Love with like, you like him, not love. Replace blame with responsibility; if your therapist can't see how your parents were responsible for you not being fucked, then replace the therapist. It's okay to blame, as long as you take responsibility and move forward, so that negative energy is released, instead of building up resentment which is often the case.
I think it also shows that sometimes even good parents can make mistakes and it's ok to recognize that. Just because we love someone doesn't mean we have to ignore their faults.
@G M Chill, man. You are picking on this comment, whether it's approprietely phrased, when no hurt is done. The comment er is just being enthusiastic. Nothing out of place with feeling of being understood and showing appreciation and true emotions in the comment section, when this community is meant for healing and support.
This is awful late, but do you have any tips for letting go of the resentment? I harbor so much toward my parents and am so far stuck in the angry stage that I feel trapped. I've been here for over a year now and I feel like I've made no progress. I just want to let go, and despite all the advice I've received and attempts I have made, here I remain. I just want peace and it feels so unattainable.
@@FaalKoriim Sure I do have some!
Firstly, as a lot of people have told me, you'd want to get out of your parents house ASAP, but just like me, I understand some people can't do that right now. So what I did to manage the resentment and get past it instead was to just embrace who they are. They're not gonna change and that is okay, it's okay to just let them be, horrible flaws and all.
You'll inevitably bump heads with them and they will throw massive temper tauntrums, but part of getting peaceful closure on your part is to try to remain calm and collected when things like that happen, and if your parents are like mine (iirc they don't let you even defend your own point) you have to power through. You can always vent and cry in your alone time and to your close friends, perhaps also writing a diary is useful for keeping track of your emotional triggers and how to handle them correctly.
A therapist may also help a lot, but in my experience you have to tell them first off that you were abused as a child and you're looking for healing, closure and if you live with them, a way to manage until you can get out :)
This interview was a huge revelation to me. The "loving but disappointed parents" line hits very close to home. I feel like I'm starting to understand myself better after watching this, and I'm very thankful to both Dr.K and Asriel for making this happen!
I cried 1:30:00 when Dr K really drove home that Asriel is providing value. A, because I also felt confronted by that notion, but also B, I just desperately wanted to give Asriel a hug at that moment.
well, reading your comment close to a year later is like a virtual hug! thanks
I've been thinking about this guy! Great talk last time.
Somehow I both like and dislike Asriel - and I'm pretty sure it's because I relate to him so much I'm projecting how I feel about myself. I think thats why his interviews helped me so much.
Yeah, these interviews tend to reflect back the things you hate most about yourself in the person being interviewed.
This is more of a joke, but he is literally always smiling, if i try to do that my face cramps haha
@@Rikarwb Inappropriate affect possibly. I'm also sensing he got brainwashed by his father (and mother maybe too) to please everyone everyone and put on a good face to the public. Even as he was crying he was smiling and try to cover it up... Really sad.
@@hansonel yeah, I used to do it a lot, not as much anymore. it's something I'm trying to work on being less awkward in conversations and more present/focused on my own thoughts and beliefs instead of what others think of me.
Asriel is so good at describing his emotions. I relate to a lot of it, but I was never able to describe it that well. Extremely helpful. I hope he comes back for the 3rd time! It's just such a valuable journey.
Glad to see him again!
Just want to hug this dude. Hope he keeps on making the progress e needs to make.
I've been thinking about Asriel's previous interview a lot. Glad he's back.
Physical regulation: I've felt like I've been doing my family's SIDE quests for years, never in touch with my own Main quest. They were never in touch with my Main quest either. Ending enmeshment with my family and LETTING myself be angry with them for the *medical* neglect was crucial to me discovering what my Main quest even has been this whole time: repairing my body. Emotional regulation: The *infancy* abuse I experienced let me with an attachment disorder. It has felt isolating, if I don't belong with my family, I'm not sure I can belong with anyone. Yeah, yeah, blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb. But I don't belong with friends either.
Attachment issues suck, man. I can relate. Have you tried reading any books on the subject and going to therapy?
There’s more to that saying.
I had a similar job experience. My first job last year was at Amazon and I applied for part time but they told me I would be doing 10 hour days, 4 days a week. On day 2 they worked me for 12 hours and told me it was mandatory overtime, and I quit the next day because I couldn't handle it. Now ive been working a part time grocery store job for 8 months and I am really happy about where I am.
I've watched both streams and I know, Asriel, that your streams here have done me a world of good. I'm a middle-aged mom and I can relate to you so much. Thank you for being brave enough to let us know you a bit. You are an incredible person and you're breaking the cycle, we believe in you!
Oh he's back, I like this guy!
His past interview actually helps me a lot
This interview hit so close to home it hit in my room on my bed back home. I'm still feeling that frustration along with Asriel anytime Dr.K keeps trying to show appreciation. All bullets of appreciation are so easy to dodge I don't even make a face doing it anymore. Any genuine thanks or shows of appreciation is just answered with a stone face. Maybe if someone did something extra special one day to break through my barriers but what I can imagine is way beyond anything realistic to expect from anyone.
I’m so glad Asriel is back, I was literally thinking back a couple days ago on the video I watched about him almost a year ago, what a funny coincidence. that video really resonated with me. Instantly saved this vid for later. cheers ~
I can change your skeptisism for sure, 100%! Your videos have changed my life and for the same reason Asriel says. I apply what I hear to my life and listen to your insight. Helped me so much :)
He is able to sit in front of thousands of people and open up about himself and his struggle, which is something that is hard to top in case of scariness but then he struggles to show up in front of a few people to work. Fascinating! Is this something he is not aware of? Or am i assuming something wrongly here?
Sorry for my bad inglish!
I think because this isn't like work. This is him sitting down and talking about himself. Whereas at works there are expectations and results to show. Also, the audience is not physically present with him when he is talking to Dr K.
Maybe it's scarier to be judged by someone you are going to see again than by a crowd of people you will probably never encounter in your daily life. Or maybe it feels like a safer space because work can be a high stakes environment. We can only speculate.
I definitely am aware of that yeah, my first interview was absolutely terrifying but I think it prepared me for this interview to be easier, especially because I knew what to expect and the supportive community. with work, specifically the job I was trying to force myself to go to at the time was particularly stressful because I didn't know what would happen and figured there was a good chance people would be mad at me/that I wouldn't be able to perform etc. just an update though I found myself a decent job last summer with an amazing environment as a dishwasher and I have returned to the same restaurant to learn to become a cook more recently.
I think something I finally realize now that I'm older is that I understand that I will never be enough. I'm never enough to fulfill my job's satisfaction, never enough to fulfill my own satisfaction, nor enough to accomplish my goals. I know that I will never be enough and I try to adapt to that realization, but I don't think I quite realize that I probably can't adapt to it. There is no point to anything but yet there is some slim chance of hope that remains and I cannot understand where it comes from.
I remember watching your last interview Asriel. I'm proud to see how far you've come. I relate to you a lot.
i watched his first interview last night, thinking i might not get an update… saw this at the top of my feed this morning and i was SO HAPPY!!! he’s such an amazing soul and i resonate with him on a way i can’t put into words. i feel a love for him. i’m so happy to see he’s still being himself, and even though i’m a bit late to the party here i hope he’s still “showing up”! and i hope he shows up with Dr. K again!! much love buddy i’m here with you ❤
I love all of these interviews. There hasn’t been one that hasn’t been helpful or eye opening. I kinda feel like I could benefit from talking to dr k too
This video has been so helpful to me, thank you Dr. K. And thank you Azriel for showing up and being vulnerable, and simply talking your way through all this it really resonated with me. I'll certainly be coming back to this one!
I loved this person! Was really happy seeing the thumbnail and recognizing him immediately
Just from the start of the interview, I can already tell he's doing better. Comparing his face and mannerisms to his last interview, he's far more expressive and comfortable in his own skin.
I appreciate both interviews with Asriel so much! This is some of the content from Dr. K, that has helped me the most. Thank you, Asriel. 💗
Your bravery in putting yourself out there with such vulnerability requires a lot of balls. Your insight, resilience, and willingness to work on yourself and to be open to Dr. K's guidance, is inspirational.
I instantly became happy and clicked on this video as soon as I seen this guy on the thumbnail. Glad he's doing an interview again 🙂
Really glad Asreal (sp?) came back. His interviews hit me especially hard and validate my own experiences/concerns. I am honestly eternally grateful that he has the balls to sit down for these interviews. He's like a hero in my head at this point.
I found it inspiring that he just didn't show up to his job. I find myself too socially anxious to not show up, to the point where my mind doesn't even see that as an option. I find it inspiring because I need it in my life right now.
Thank you Asriel
Azriel has helped me a lot. I watched the first episode last year and I'm really glad to see he's doing a lot better.
and you're the first one to get my name right! 😆
I'm glad I could help ❤
@@azriel5 i just saw this reply! Keep rocking.
I’ve been going through a really deep instrospection and wanting to heal. The part tagged as lacking intrinsic value got me good. I let out GUTTURAL Sad and Angry screams and cried harder than I think I’ve ever cried. I dont wven know why. Thank you Dr K for guiding Asriel in this talk. THANK YOU Asriel for being so brave, you are worth so much and just know youve helped at least one person, and I’m eternally grateful to you for existing.
:O it's him again! Woooooh, looking forward to this one~
Wow this really hit so close to home for me. I'm still discovering it for myself but I'm really glad I watched this and go through this with Asriel
Dr. K is doing god's work. These interviews help so many people
Hah! Ultimate Good guy is back! Nice! Good to see him back!
Long time lurker, so nice to see dr k’s comments consistently supportive. There have been times where people get different but most the time it’s support. Good job y’all, you defy UA-cam culture
Also def don’t mean this sarcastically.
One of my absolute favorite heathy gamer videos. Azriel is such a relatable, sincere dude
Mucho likable guy. Could relate to him more than to anyone I think.
Keep em cominnnnnnn!
after an entire year he still has that orange bottle on his shelf behind him
Asriel is awesome. I feel like I relate more with him than any other interviewee, so watching this helps me a lot.
Its mind blowing how much we rationalize other people do harmful things to us.
Man, thank you Asriel for being here, reintegrating myself into classes and can relate a bit to before I even get in there, feeling like I'll be the least contributing but Im going to give it a shot 🤜🤛 thank you
These Coaching/therapy sessions help so much. WOW
I haven't been through what this guy has, but I find his challenge very relatable.
thank you Asrieeeel, keep going bro, you are lit !!!💗💗💗💗
Am not Asriel but i respect the enthusiasm, so gotta give it back ! Let's go Fiorella ✊✊✊
(Would try to speak spanish, but my portuguese would get in the way haha)
I'm really happy to see him again, and see that he's doing better
I'm one of those people who this is helping. I have a bit of a strained relationship with my father emotionally, and I'm trying to resolve some of that. Definitely appreciate the guidance and discussion that Dr. K has around that. When he said "being a parent was another grind" it clicked hard
omg I LOVE THIS GUY...PLEASE COME ON LIKE ONCE A WEEK... I JUST FEEL I LEARN SO MUCH AND RELATE SO MUCH with this guy...
This guy is adorable 🍀☮️🍀 He gets my support.
HTanks for coming on azriel was very relatable :)
I’m pretty late to the party, but you two made my life better today. Thank you so very much!
Im so happy for the follow up interview!
25:00 I don't know about others, but for me personally, the AoE healing has been working wonders. One of my most significant breakthroughs snowballed from watching Dr.K's interview with Sweet Anita. Even your youtube videos help tremendously!
I've had so many therapists and no one has engaged me like this. Dr K, you're so good at what you do. I need a therapist like you
Thank you so much. I watched that video and the first one and in that moment of my life I go through the same shit as you, Azriel. This video helped me a lot. You truly did make a difference in someone else's life. And we have to remember that. I started going to therapy once again, because I started having problems with making even the smallest decisions in my life. I learned that I can, I am able to make decisions by myself. Now trying to learn how to not regret those decisions, but I understand now that there are no perfect decisions. There is no one solution. There are only decisions that we make, not life lived by someone else.
The most relatable title I've ever seen
Right??
Concerning Dr. K.'s doubts about the benefit of these video, I feel compeled to say I've learn so much through the interviews. I've learn about myself but also it helped me to understand deeper my friends and family. It has make a real diffrenece in my life, it help me change, have new set of tool to confront difficulties. Maybe it's not the same as a one to one conversation, maybe it takes more time for us to use the tool we picked up, but that's okay, we have this new tool and lots of opportunities to try it and found our own way to use it. No doubts at least for me that I've learned and changed thanks to it
Lots of compassion and respect for Asriel. I hope he gonna be all right and finds a real the peace that he needs
This really helps. I feel like I'm at a theraphy session because I have the same problems and thinking. Right now can't afford a real session.
Thank you both for the courage of sharing and the compassion of sharing human existential piain of trauma
FYI Dr. K I feel like I get quite a bit of help by just listening to you help other people with their issues.
Great episode! Thank you Asriel 😊
1:33:08 What you are right now is enough.
Interesting! When I thought about what that means if they don't call you, I was like "That could mean that I was not important enough to this particular company and that, for them, I'm replacable. Maybe it was lucky, because I wouldn't wanna work for a company like that anyways. "And he went "I'm unimportant to everyone" instead T_T aaaaagh the feels
Dr. K: "I was appreciating you for who you are.... What you are is absolutely enough.... What you are can make the world a better place."
Asriel: "...I don't think it's that I make the world a better place if I just come here and don't do something...."
Dr. K: "I agree. That's what I appreciate."
This exchange could be interpreted as Asriel only is worthy when he is doing something, which reinforces his people pleasing behavior -- that he is a human-doing, not a human-being.
Dr. K started with a great statement that Asriel is appreciated for who he is, but then agreed with Asriel's more negative reframing / rationalization that he only is valuable by doing something for others.
Asriel is helping a lot of people by participating in the stream, and it's a good starting point for Dr. K to help him recognize and accept that. It's important for Asriel to accept that he is worthy to take up space in this world and to exist without doing things for others. His value is more than doing things for others.
1:29:00 God, Dr. K always hits right in the spot... Dealing with lack of intrinsic value myself, I felt so cornered hearing his questions...
YESSS I LOVE THIS DUDE
During the scouts thing and scout leader as a father, I can confirm, I had a discussion with my father when HE was a father, coming from Cubs (He was Mowgli!) and going to scouts, I CAN confirm this was a thing. This was an implicit rule among the code. He didn't do a very good job following the rule mind you, but as a smaller Scout group, we didn't find it was a huge deal. Maybe I was just good at keeping tabs on the stragglers so the adults didn't have to, but nonetheless OUR chapter at the very least did indeed have this "ruling" if not mentality. Awesome video, let's go Dr. K!
Edit : He also used to say "We're all supposed to act like the parents the kids may, or may not have the chance to have" or something along those lines. I'm probably paraphrasing.
Yes he's back!!!
❤ I am also grateful that you are you, Asriel
The constant smile is a tell. What's underneath the smile?
I just posted in the subreddit. I think this was the video I needed to watch to answer some of my questions.
Have you considered doing a Viewer Interview series but for Success Stories? I want to hear from the people that managed to turn their life around or that are making positive progress as a great form of encouragement for everyone else.
I'm hoping one day I can come back and share my success, but that story is still being written, it's definitely a long journey
Asriel I know I don’t know you but I really want to thank you and send this digital token of love fam. I love your introspection and I wish you the best
Nice to see Azreal again
A year ago I watched this at the same boat. My overthinking allowed me to avoid difficulty, and drove me to being what some would call a failure. After a year, got a job, girlfriend and now am in yhe same nihilist view point as azreal yet again.
WE LOVE YOU ASRIEL