Damn... I literally cried instantly when Ludwig said, "it's a constant war when someone dies to keep them as much as you can in your life, and you can't because you will lose to time every time." I feel like he just imparted wisdom to all of us from the experience he has with the grieviing process.
I'm sorry but i still dont really understand the correlation and the meaning behind that tho, does it mean like in a linear sense where youre trying your best to shift yourself to keep yourself in the middle spot? Or something entirely different If someone would care to explain that would be really helpful! ^-^
@@ashleyadette4874 Honestly it is one of the best way to describe meditation only if you have experience mario party mini game. The mini game is a small part of a large journey where if you do good in the mini game it can give you a boost. And at the same time, (hard to describe the essence of the mini game) the mini game have such simple mechanics but it is random and chaotic. Thats why the minigames at times are hard even though the mechanics are super simple.
@@milindshah4438 exactly. well said. just to add to it, good meditation is not always about letting go and letting the mind wander off...but instead it’s about propelling yourself to find that pinpoint balance of maintaining control all while letting go at the same time... which feels as you mentioned, “stressful/choatic” yet “naturally simple/organic” like a mario party mini game. “FiNiSh!” *exhales, and opens eyes.*
It was interesting I thought he was about to do the joke where he pretends to know the word and googled it but remembered that was exactly what they were talking about
Lud said his mom had him sleep in her room while dad was on guest room and also mentioned his angsty older sister. Those facts made me realize how YOUNG Lud was when his dad died since he didn't realize the level of pain his dad was causing at home. Also, what a strong woman his mom had to be, OMG. Amazing mother.
The thought I had was that if he might’ve been bitter and angry like Dr K had said if he had another ten years. This is based of of my experience of course and I don’t mean to be hurtful.
How come you assume that he didnt really realize the level of pain his dad was causing at home? No fronting, I'm just curious because I tend to disagree. Sure, he couldnt grasp the whole situation but even as a child you experience when a person you love (and at least it appears that lud had a positive overall relationship with his dad) turns into a stranger while drinking.
@@BauerAzlan We might have the same understanding but use different words to express it. Yes, I agree he obviously knew something was off and I think one can be really young and still notice the tension around them. What I meant to say is his understanding of the situation was most likely not very complex/nuanced although still existant.
Holy shit, this was honestly one of the best talks I've heard yet. The amount of questions I have about death and such is insane, and listening to this discussion was so interesting. I literally didn't understand so much of that, but I will keep rewatching this because holy I loved it.
I was about to sleep at 1 in the morning and they started talking about all that shit and now its 2. That was nuts, im gonna be thinking about that shit constantly now. un. real.
If you're interested in subjects like this and the fundamentals of the universe and life, look up Alan Watts. He's a philosopher and has a bunch of lectures on these and other related topics that are really thought provoking to explore. Can't really go wrong with any of his lectures you pick.
really recommend you check the twitch vod of this video, he stayed on for half an hour longer to talk about the stuff they were discussing at the end (which kinda went over luds head imo no disrespect meant)
I really felt Ludwig's "I have to be funny for everyone else' mindset at the beginning. I remember cracking jokes in my first counselling session, even while I was sobbing, and feeling really weird when instead of laughing like people normally do, my counsellor didn't react/ almost seemed pitying. I realised it was one of the first times that someone had seen my humour as a front that I was using to 'come up for air' too frequently, as I am very avoidant when it comes to negative emotions. It also opened up a conversation about how I feel like a burden so never tell people when I'm upset. I'm someone who is very confident and self-assured so I think it would be surprising for many of those close to me to find that out about me, but it was strangely nice but also sad to see someone going through something similar to myself.
It almost seems like a superpower to me. I have the opposite compulsion. To constantly show people how deep and impactful everything is. I think I might benefit myself and others more if I could lighten up more easily.
I think the problem is in when you stay on one extreme for too long. I think his need to lighten the mood constantly might make more serious situations feel trivialized.
Quote from Christopher Hitches that came to mind as Ludwig talked about death. "I do not especially like the idea that one day I shall be tapped on the shoulder and informed, not that the party is over but that it is most assuredly going on-only henceforth in my absence."
This was so amazing. I studied Philosophy, but their discussion about death and consciousness was so much better than 99% of classes I took. It was so great to see Ludwig not just going for the joke, but showing just how smart he is. His remark on the aging brain and how that conflicts with what Dr K said was fantastic. Especially sice I'm not on Dr K's side whenever he goes into this more spiritual direction, it was refreshing to see someone being able to keep up with him and challenge him (don't take this the wrong way, I love Dr K to bits and me not aligning with one belief he has doesn't change that one bit). I hope they have another talk, there were some things they just touched superficially, for example parasocial relationships and being allowed to feel bad for yourself and compartmentalizing death and grief.
I was about to make a similar comment. I´ve seen Dr K make implications towards philosophical idealism (or substance dualism - still don´t know which is closer to his position), but this discussion really helped to flesh out what his view is. And Ludwig made great points - especially when you consider that he seemed to be thinking about it on the spot.
@@somethingfishy1960 Dr K's philosophy is distinctly different from substance dualism since substance dualism says that mind and body are separate whereas he views consciousness and matter (containing both mind and body) as separate. So he is implying that consciousness is something outside of mind and body. He actually mentioned in the video that Western thought on the subject implies that consciousness and mind are the same thing and that he believes different (substance dualism is a Western Philosophy).
I love Dr. K for his psychological understanding but I feel like when it comes to philosophy or spiritual stuff he's not very coherent and I feel the urge to skip these parts because I have to cringe a little when he is so confident about his beliefs.
@@raditzan Yes, trying to fit eastern philosophy into western isnt going to be perfect, but that is what I am more familiar with. I got the sense that he is an idialist, because conciousness is fundamental and our experience of the material only emerging out of it. But when he discribed the interactions between conciousness and the body and mind, it sounds very much like substance dualism. But yes, he draws the border between the two at a different place. Or there might even be three substances, because he also argued for the mind not being material or reducable to matter. Anyhow, while I completely disagree, this conversation was extremely helpful to better understand his view.
As someone who lost my father at 17 I can relate a fuck ton to Lud, appreciate the content of both of you, watch Lud and Dr. K regularly. Keep it up boys.
It’s really interesting because throughout this talk, Ludwig often seems like he is having a hard time articulating himself in a serious manner, and I don’t know if he is fully in control of how often he jokes around, because it has become such a habit for him. At the same time, he has these amazing moments of clarity such as when he talks about always losing in a race against time when it comes to death, and those moments show that he has the capacity for seriousness, but often uses jokes or sarcasm as some sort of defense mechanism, which it sounds like he developed from his father’s passing.
1:28:11 I teared up a little here when Dr. K got up front and asked about his dad. Lud is such a strong dude to keep a straight face and not cry at that moment. He got a difficult childhood and he's such a fine and funny guy. Good job my dude
wow ludwig is such a charismatic funny guy. I get why he's popular on twitch man. straight up entertainer and sees a lot of things in a really healthy way.
@@abyvs i feel you bro ..i used to think of being dead at any time a lot ..but only after i kind of understood that death will happen to any of us (me included)..because as i child i thought i was special and unique to god (lol). But anyways death always scared the shit out of me and it kind of still does but not in the same level. Now, i am more worried about the future of myself and of the society and of the universe..because today's society f sucks so bad , internet sucks , youtube sucks ..you just cannot get anything useful out of these in my opinion. Then it is life which is f unfair - good people die , we age, our loved ones die, do we go to hell or to heaven, does afterlife even exist?!? What is reality? What is existence? Are we living in a game simulation or in some sort of an experimental lab devised by superbeings??! It is an imperfect socieity who are damaging planet and almost every year you got something negative happen (wars, epidemics..) and many fools dont think on their feet but they keep myltiplying their f useless dna.. It is also an imperfect universe, flawed biology, flawed earth, flawed everything.. And lastly nature of universe, physical rules are so neutral which is scary af..we have souls , why do we have to suffer, why should suffering be the ultimate end?! Sorry for the long comment bro..take care.
@@tabularasa9576 If you think about it, the mere fact that there are laws that govern the foundations of the universe is mind boggling. Why are they the way they are? Why is there law and order in the first place? Is it self-generated or was it made this way? Just thinking about it makes me feel curious and inspired. I'm completly in awe. About death, I'm legit more curious of what will happen. I don't fear it at all, BUT thinking about someone close to me dying is scary af.
@@67377cbbbsb ah good old nihilism, fun bit about it, however dreadful it may seem at first, it can be turned into a positive. You see, if nothing matters, you have every reason in the world and outside of it to do what you truly want to, if there is no inherent meaning or reason to and for life your freedom is truly absolute.
I have recently been binging all of Dr.K's videos and I try to use other peoples experiences and apply them to my personal life. I have been learning a lot about myself. I'm very grateful for his content.
i personally think his videos are not meant to be binged, watch one, reflect on it, then maybe watch another one next week. else theres just too much stuff going in at once.
@@tachiiderp People are different, and can therefore process information at different capacities as well as for different amounts of time. I see where you are coming from though, and I agree that as a general advice it would be positive to encourage people to take their time and reflect on the content of these videos.
Yes! I've also noticed that I'm starting to copy his way of conversing. It's really helping me to ask questions instead of feeling threatened when someone believes something other than I do. And man, I love his 'can I think for a second'. I've become a much better listener and am trying to curb my adhd mind in conversations, as to not blurt out every thought that wells up at other peoples words. It's very challenging though, and takes conscious effort. I guess that again goes to show that the mind is something that's different from consciousness.
I think he would drive Dr, K up the wall, even if he wanted to, he really can’t break his “persona” where he’s built himself around his personality, he can’t really change it
I think sykunno keeps a ton of things to himself. I've only seen him really crack once. It might be that he just wants to treat streaming as a time to have fun and make people happy. there is sides of him we might not ever see and thats fine. I do like how he has gotten more comfortable infront of the camera because I know he really dealt with crippling low self esteem and insecurities but I am noticing him losing some mannerism slowly and looking more comfortable. It feels good to see him succeed personally. I've gleaned a few things that is none of my business but also relatable.
@Squalid I don't think so. He might crack, but I don't think the insecurities he shows are a big deal for him. Maybe he has some but I wouldn't think we'd know of it.
@@Jonas-cf4oi i agree. When I said cracked i mean he tries to keep personal things to him self but has gotten visibley upset once and what I was referring to was when he was having a bad day and got a bit emotional which later turns out was actually due to personal life and a bit of chat. When it comes to the insecurities I feel like he has only shared the ones he is okay to share and I dont blame him because people on the internet can be really mean and when are dealing with something that really effects you, you just don't want to be vulnerable. He has talked about stuff but if you notice its always something that effected him in the past which is easier to tell because people generally feel like there is enough distance from that versions of them selfs and the person we are today.
@@mxshellx Yeah chat pokes fun a lot when he doesn’t know a word but English majors use thesauruses instead of memorizing every single word in the language
I watched this expecting to have a really bad panic attack about death, and just now finishing it I feel so at ease and much more understanding. Dr. K just put so many concepts that I've known about but didn't fully understand into words and ideas that I can wrap my mind around and that brought me a lot of joy and relief
im so glad about this for you (I guess it really has been a year since you made this comment, so i hope the notification doesnt scare you haha) I hope you're doing well at this moment and have expanded your consciousness even further since hearing this conversation
Been going through an existential crises for months and this is honestly the first time someone has provided an explanation about consciousness that has satisfied me. Hope you are feeling better now and having less panic attacks
So the story, that Dr. K told of the patient in a Koma really stuck with me. I regularly have dreams like that. Dreams that have no inconsistencies. They just feel so REAL. It's scary.
When that happens to me, when the dream feels like it's real, it happens in real life some time after. Which freaks me the fuck out. Happened a bunch of times.
The dreams that are mundane everyday stuff can be terrifying especially back when I was drinking heavily and doing a lot of psychedelics. The repeated false awakening dreams are quite hellish as well
OMG!!!! THE COMA!!! Me too!! 9 month coma.. I had a WHOLE LIFE. When I woke up I started realizing they were never real😢. It gave me ptsd or at least symptoms of. A lot of my dreams were so so awful but amongst all that I had fallen in love with someone. I spent time with my mom, grandmother.. My entire extended family!! I had to reexperience the losses. My uncle, who was alive, had died in my second life. So under the influence of medication I literally asked him if he had died😂I was talking to him on the phone😂 I told him he was going to die because I saw him in the dreams and he had died. 3 months later, while I was in physical rehab learning to walk again, he died. 😮
I dunno I feel you scratch more then an inch deep into almost anyone's life and you'll be surprised what they've been through. No one really has a fully normal life.
@@john81697 I do lol. There are plenty of people who've had normal lives. I would even argue Ludwig's life hasn't been dark and sad. He was only ten, and it's clear it's never deeply upset him or messed him up. He seems very happy, and emotionally fine, whether or not that's because he was just ten, or maybe he just handles things better than others, I don't know, but I felt like Dr. K was trying to "make a mountain out of a mole hill" even though he said he wasn't.
@@yellowtitan6040 just because you are able to healthily push something aside at 10 doesn’t mean he has fully processed it. He could go his whole life without fully processing it and get by with humor and his life would be great and he wouldn’t need help like he said. If he processed it though he could reach a greater understanding of himself and his thoughts about death allowing him to live a better life.
Dr. K talking about Death and Conciousness in a spiritual sense has helped me relieve so much anxiety about exisistentialism and nothing mattering at all. I will go on to fulfill my own journey in this body/mind/life and make changes that help myself and those around me. Hope everyone realizes that they do matter and keep safe :)
Around the time when dr k. Was gaining popularity, so was ludwig, in fact I believe even months before ludwig's stream's were growing larger and larger. I was watching dr k. Religiously at that time but eventually stopped and moved on to different content creators and eventually a few months ago I found ludwig. This colab has brought me back, and mannnn do I love this shit so freaking much. Thank you Dr k. And thank you ludwig for comming on. This is a masterpiece in my eyes. I hope to see a part two one day (fingers crossed)
Amazing session! The only thing I wish was explored a bit more was a kind of hypocritical thing Lud said pretty early on... He talked about how he didn’t deserve to be on stream because he felt like other people were more qualified (like QT) and then when Dr K asked about this, he gave the “other people have it worse so I just focus on the positives” argument. But... that argument could be used for anyone. You could say to anyone that’s been on the show that “well someone’s had it worse than you”. If QT came up to Lud after a hard day, would the advice he give her really be “yeah but other people have it harder so cheer up!”? OF COURSE NOT! He’s creating a double standard for himself where he’s giving other people more support than himself and basically just saying “man up” to himself and that’s not healthy! He’s attempting to diminish his own problems and that’s definitely something that should be addressed!
You can tell Ludwig is very uncomfortable talking about his feelings. He always wants to joke and talk about surface level stuff. Which is okay opening up is extremely hard.
@@brooo4219 For sure. I have recently been binging all of Dr.K's videos and I try to use other peoples experiences and apply them to my personal life. I have been learning a lot about myself. I'm very grateful for his content.
on-stream ludwig and offline ludwig are supposedly very different people, certainly it's my impression that he's not particularly comfortable talking about emotions and feelings in general but I think streamer mode amplifies that in a big way here.
Managed to catch this one live and it was so nice! The dynamic between you two was really nice! And the conversation about death was especially refreshing :) I have an inexplicable fear of death (which when I think about it, it could be more of a fear of not knowing what is gonna happen) so it was actually quite insightful! I also see myself in Ludwig a lot (and I feel like a lot of other people do as well) with the trying to cope by making jokes and not letting gravity sit with me because it would feel crushing at times, as well as it feeling kind of a waste of time for other people, but it really is important to let it sit sometimes. I feel like Ludwig would be a great person to have on to take these more philosophical and heavy topics in the future!
@@greasyshoe Funnily enough, neither. I am afraid of not knowing what is gonna happen, almost like a fear of not being able to prepare myself for the unknown. I have done deep sea diving and I found it extremely relaxing, and although I am not an astronaut (LMAO), the idea of going to space doesn't scare me.
I am surprised Dr K hasn't managed to get an interview with Valkyrae yet. She is expressive and blunt. She would have a lot to say and a lot of insight as a successful streamer.
@@BruTaliuss Yea some people, while this is not a therapy session, still might not feel comfortable with the degree of vulnerability that is required to have a decent "diccussion" with Dr. K
@@BruTaliuss probably a smart decision I didn't watch much of Dr. K, this session with Lud wasn't really therapie/he didn't open that much up, but I got curious and watched the session with his girlfriend QT, and yeah... if you have issues and need real therapy you shouldn't go on Dr. K
Man I've been to therapy for like 4 years now and looking back everyone I've been to helped me come back up for air when I needed it. I could never pinpoint what it was what made talking to them so much easier than to friends etc. but looking back it is because I don't come back up for air on my own. I would simply drown myself. So Ludwig beeing able to come back up (and Dr. K encouraging him) is a really valuable life skill.. guess I know what my next session will be about :0
^^ same tho i do hang out in smaller twitch communities (< 10 viewers) a lot more than bigger twitch communities, so i do become quite close w/ the creators.
I love spirituality, cosmology and philosophy, so this conversation is a real treat..! and Lud in general seems like a great guy to have conversations with, too bad he hasn't replied to my emails or DMs. Still consider him my friend tho :)
this was a joy to watch as a long time ludwig viewer and a feelings person. he truly does have a buoyant mind and it's not easy to swim deeper. thanks for the work you do. lud deserves a good cry
The conversation about meditating while drunk or high really resonated with me. I have always described being high/drunk as very frustrating because I feel fully conscious but I can't manifest my consciousness in a controlled manner. I felt the same way when I was under anesthesia (Nitrous Oxide) for a dental procedure, I was completely conscious and I remember it vividly, I remember the conversation the doctor was having with the nurse, I remember the pressure in my gums and I remember hearing myself breathe but being unable to feel it (which was terrifying). This has been really interesting to hear.
ludwigs past is so different that i ever thought. Even with such tragic event he went past it and He grew up being so positive. i am new to twitch streamers and ludwig is so good.. he is one of the best.
Interesting about the timing with the comedic story when he was 10; first memory brought up of his father is the shower race, funny story revolves around cutting time by doing dishes in the shower.
I think the single biggest reason people ask creators for life advice is because after listening to you for long enough, we develop a trust with you and your judgement. You feel like a friend, and that feeling means we overlook how we're not your friend.
I came looking for an experience that would alleviate my fear of death, I had assumed nothing he could say would change my fear and I have never been more wrong. The content and depth of what he talked about hit me in a way I did not know was possible. I leave this video with a life changing experience in my mind now and I could not be more grateful for this. Dr. K is imo one of the smartest people in the world in regards to understanding existence and people. This has brought me new found peace of mind.
The way Dr k is so in touch with spirituality yet so skeptical in nature while seeing the truth in life through being that way really speaks to me. The conversation somehow helped me realize that I dig into distractions because they help me hide from experiences or memories I am not afraid of anymore
I enjoyed this so much. Ludwig, you are well rounded with great energy (oddly rare in today’s world). Keep it up. Loved the Mario Party Mini-Game analogy. Dr. K did a great job propelling past Ludwig’s streamer identity/ego to provide him with a few new self-awareness perspectives. This was a great session.
I'd suggest writing everything down every time you think of something, like in your notes app of your phone. It'll be nice to touch upon in the future, and might help you in the moment
my dad died in January yeah its rough its hard to remember his face and when I hear his voice in videos or voicemails its not the way I remember its almost like unrecognizable but not really I am glad I can remember stuff but also I know that it wont last I know those memories will fade away and it tears me up inside I try to buck up and say that's just apart of life but inside I do not want to except it I know how you feel and I would say that we'll make it but I know that doesn't help at all and honestly pisses me off when people say that (sorry for this random comment and rambling I just had to vent and get this out)
My dad died in December, the difference is I didn't have a lot of memories with him, and the memories I had weren't exactly the best memories. I was pretty estranged from him. My mom was just seeing herself out of the relationship when I was younger. I can't say he was the best person when it came to the relationship with my mom, but even my mom said he loved my big bro and I.
Love this so much! I would argue that consciousness needs matter and energy in order to experience; the brain and body being the fine tuned sensor that has evolved to be so capable of understanding our world in the kind of detail that we do. I had a brain injury that lasted several years and my experience was that I felt my consciusness almost leave me. And only now coming back into my body as my brain heals am I consious of that lack of the lack of consiousness I experienced by comparison and heinseight. Your videos and these conversations help me so much. THANK YOU.
The way Lud talks about his Dad....I know it was a long time ago but there's this sort of emotional detatchment I'm picking up on. I feel like Lud is the type of person who would be unable to tell a sad story from his own life or in general without throwing in a laugh... maybe a joke or 2.
It's a coping mechanism. Some people crack jokes at a funeral, others bawl their eyes out. There's different reactions for different people - the way big boy Lud deal with loss is cracking a joke and coming up for air, for some that can be a way to deal with pain and for other it can be a huge insult, it all depends on the person.
I was wondering through it all if he might possibly be a psychopath, because he literally showed not a single ounce of sadness about it, speaking about it in the most matter of fact manner, and even seeming confused by Dr. K's clear reaction of feeling empathy for him (when he asked to be excused to get himself a tissue). On top of that, he can "snap into" his super charismatic twitch persona at the drop of a hat, quicker than your eye can even catch. So I think at least a few of the telltale signs are there, but I'm by no means a professional psychologist or psychiatrist, so my reads could be way off.
@@JamesBrown-wy7xs you must of missed the part where he said he was 10 years old when his dad died and can’t remember a lot about him anymore 15 years later
@@jorgeluiscorrea992 I didn't miss that part, but I can't say I can relate to his issue, so, as I stated in that earlier post, my reads could be way off. I'd like to think that I'd feel something for my own father if he passed when I was 10, and I imagine that I'd carry a lot of pain from the loss for many many years afterward, but, again, I haven't experienced that, so I can't say for sure. Maybe I'd react just like he did, 15 years later.
so "pics or it didn't happen" was closer to the truth than we realized... seriously, though. this was amazing. Dr K and Ludwig - thanks for your willingness to display your vulnerable self for us to go on this journey with you, both of you. i remember when this wouldn't have made sense and i remember the moment when i woke up to many of the things you are talking about here - not on the same paths i am gleaning you took, not from the vantage you had, but it's that unexplainable "kind of you know when you come to know it" type thing. but it's so beautiful to hear people talk about the sense of knowing, the lightbulb, the waking up to an understanding/a knowing of these things that cannot be easily taught. it is my hope that doesn't sound like a boast, i'm sitting here marveling and feeling lighter being reminded of these truths, because the bonkers thing is you can start to get a grasp on some of this and then move back to business as usual. thanks again for this. beautiful. gosh. especially everything from the coma to the end - lucid dreaming, the collapse of the waveform upon observation, the breath work, all of it. thanks for giving me more to ponder again.
Lud has a very mature way of processing the sad aspects of his childhood. I am very interested to know when he developed and or adopted this philosophy. This he instantly thought that way as a child or did he reflect on his past after forming this idea as an adult? The stage in life when he developed this mindset can have an effect on how he navigated life until now.
I'm at one part of the death segment where Ludwig mentions the laws of physics and I haven't gotten further so this may come up but here's an important thing about the universe and physics You can write all the equations you want and do all the experiments you can but the universe may very well just decide to do something different. An example is the expansion of the universe, we don't exactly know why it is accelerating last time I checked, we don't know what happens in black holes, we don't know a lot, we can write equations, theorize, and so on, but the universe could very well start collapsing back into itself, black holes could lead to alternate universes or other parts of the universe, and death could be something we entirely will never understand (from quantum immortality to afterlife stuff to anything else)
lol, same here. it makes me happy whenever another person (like yourself) is lucky enough to stumble across something that leads to a significant growth in that person's consciousness. doing what i can to help expand the consciousness of others is a primary goal i have in life.
I really am thankful for this, I have been searching for a closure for my fear of death, which was instigated by this COVID 19 pandemic. Too much time led to me overthinking about death, sometimes even slight panic attack occurs, I was so troubled by it that I find ways to forget the feeling or to preoccupy myself so I can run from those kinds of thoughts. Thinking about it, it's gotten to the point that I felt like what I'm doing is pointless and I just feel hopeless when I'm not doing anything. I haven't finished the whole video since it's 11:55 PM atm but once I wake up, I will watch it thoroughly.
I have panic attacks about death a lot. I think about death and what it would be like, what would be left of me. How eternal nothingness or even eternal somethingness would be. I am terrified of both, since I see no way I could be at peace with either. I feel like I am looking at fractals, where consciousness just keeps going deeper and deeper and deeper. Like we’re in a matrix of a matrix of a matrix etc. I’m just afraid it never ends. It terrifies me since I have no control over it. And there is no reason that is true, but that’s what it feels like
8:50 10:50 12:00 12:20 13:40 14:30 15:00 16:00 17:30 19:00 20:37 22:00 LOL 23:00 coming up for air 24:00 forgetting, losing piece by piece 25:40 parasocial, being real 27:00 27:50 fake memories 28:10 29:00 31:10 32:10 letting go 33:00 growing out of it 34:40 young 35:25 36:10 37:20 funny for job 38:20 comedy helps us sit w 39:50 40:30 41:25 42:30 dang 43:50 going up for air 44:55 45:40 47:35 48:40 control, helped from seeing life thru internal locus of control 50:30 53:50 life after death doesnt seem 'fun'... 55:00 55:50 the one abt death 57:00 58:30 patient cries when no ones looking 1:00:20 i have a lot to be grateful for 1:01:20 woah.... 1:03:30 1:04:10 feels real 1:05:00 aw 1:05:40 1:07:00 1:08:20 samurai goofy got no shoes: finding an internal inconsistency in dream 1:09:00 feels real 1:10:00 observer vs object 1:11:40 consciousness 1:15:30 1:18:00 just woke up: enlightened, make the videos that i want, just controlling what i can snapping out of the mental patterns, taking a step back & shattering the dream 1:20:30 ? consciousness w age 1:21:50 our/outside perception 1:23:40 1:25:45 identity & consciousness 1:27:50 why is death important to know abt 1:29:25 studied for the test, cant control whether i get an a, but i can be confident in the work that ive done 1:31:00 1:33:00 sitting w it VS getting wrapped up w it -> consciousness 1:35:00 1:37:00 hmm 1:38:40 1:40:00 past life trauma 1:42:40 sit w negative feelings & avatar state 😂 of enlightenment 1:45:00 mario party minigame meditation 1:45:40 bruh yeah 1:47:00 😂 good vibes wow this was so otherworldly
I had a similar dream on the lines of the goofy samurai with no shoes. I had reoccurring dreams of a Hispanic spiderman on a segway that would drive me throughout New York. Haven't had that dream in a while, but I think about it often
Having a Dr. with this large of an audience talking about the importance of Vedic and yogic traditions and dealing with the self is extremely powerful and useful for anyone. Thank you so much for this talk!
This has been unreal to listen to. So many profound realizations. I’ve always felt no matter how impaired I was on anything I have an inner sober me. I realize now that’s just my consciousness. I’ve always been very very aware of myself. So this puts me at ease.
I might be a few years late but I hope someone reads this. They gave the example of drinking and being consciously aware. As a person who works in sports medicine, and have had my own concussions. I wonder how meditation during a concussion would experience. In addition, many of the concussion symptoms are physical, not necessarily “mental” at least from the current understanding.
I've watched almost every interview Dr. K has given, and this one was absolutely one of my favorites. It was so insightful, interesting, deep, whatever you want to call it. Just wonderful
This was super enlightening in a lot of ways, both as a long-time ludwig viewer and a novice psychonaut - thanks for this excellent collab Dr. K! Hope you two talk more in the future, I'd be interested to hear more about parasocial relationships since that got sidelined for the (much more poignant and compelling) personal stuff
I've had a very similar experience to Ludwig in regards to death, multiple times throughout my life. It actually happened really severely last night and I can't stop thinking about it. I still remember the first time it happened, I was probably 4 or 5 and I woke up in the middle of the night with the sudden realization of "I'm going to die one day and that's it. That's the end, nothing more comes after that." This has happened on and off throughout my life, the thought that one day I'm not going to exist or even be aware of the fact that I don't exist is so terrifying to me. Last night I woke up out of nowhere with that same feeling of "One day I'm gonna be dead and eternity will continue without me," and I started to freak out. I've felt scared all day knowing that it's going to happen some day, it is absolutely inevitable and nothing can change it. That scares me terribly.
It was so nice when living in an academy dorm I paired with a guy who was really into understanding dreams and consciousness and I had special perspective to share with him, because unlike him I had multiple experiences of lucid dreams and just bizarre dreams in general.
Thinking about the negative is totally necessary. Iv focused on the negative too much and got stuck and I see how that’s not wrong, it means grows and str. But I did get caught into like a moth to a light. I love that I can learn to see both:) love y’all
I have so much respect for Dr. K and how he is able to match his communication style with who he has on while still tackling some really heavy issues. Thank you Dr. K and Lud!
I really liked listening to the part about consciousness, mainly because I studied it quite a bit last year in university, but only western views. So it was interesting hearing that eastern yogis came to the same conclusions I had from entirely different approaches and backrounds. Thanks Dr K.
I think a good answer to his question about why be mald about that is. Mald and Anger is an emotion thats hard to have control over in the first place so, Being grateful and taking the time to be and to give yourself the time to even feel it in the first place. Thats why its an and, not an or. you can feel something against your will.
The story about the guy in the coma makes me a little relieved about dreams I've had. I remember at least 2 instances where I've dreamed up an entire life, from childhood to death, and upon waking up I always experienced a huge amount of sadness over the next couple days. Hearing about this experience just makes me think I've been having similar, but on a smaller scale experiences. Whenever I would wake up, I wouldn't have fully vivid recollection of the events of my 'dream life', it would feel more like distant memories. I'd have memories of important events, having kids, getting married, some other specific things like an important trip or even some extremely sad moments. They feel like memories in the same way that I remember my childhood, such that they're very vague ideas of my life, with some cemented in specific moments. I'd imagine someone in a coma would have the time to have much more vivid memories formed, but still possibly in the same way that the dreams happened for me. The only thing that grounds me, and keeps me from believing in some way that those dreams are 'real', is that they were always idealized versions of what a 'good life' usually is, with only a few bad moments sprinkled in. Nothing in the 'dream life' was unexpected, which is not really how my 'real life' experience is. In 'real life', things happen unexpectedly all the time. However, to me that only proves that my 'dream life' may not be real because it seems directly influenced and created by my own mind, but I have no way to prove that my 'real life' is real, as I haven't 'woken up' yet to realized that THIS is in fact a fabrication of some other conscious experience. Anyway that's my rambling moment.
It really doesn't matter whether or not the dream is real. Perception is reality, so if you perceived events to be real, they could very well change your outlook on things. Stuff like DMT trips can be life altering to people too. I imagine such a vivid dream would be like watching a very emotional movie ×1000. I know I was sad for days after finishing the last of us 2 even if not of it is real.
The video was fantastic! I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed listening to your discussion about consciousness. In fact, I've watched many of your videos and found your insights to be incredibly helpful. In some of your videos, one thing that really stood out to me was the idea that our mind can often "gaslight" us. For example, when we're supposed to be studying, but end up scrolling through TikTok even though we know its bad, it's because our mind is giving itself excuses to avoid doing the work. It's a great way to escape reality. Learning that our mind and consciousness are two separate things has helped me tackle problems I couldn't solve before, like focusing on my studies. Now, I try to differentiate between whether it's my mind or my consciousness telling me to do something. If I catch my mind trying to gaslight me, I use techniques you've taught in your videos to regain focus. For example, I try accepting myself and reminding myself that I know I can't focus well, but I can at least try for a few minutes before taking a break. Sometimes it's challenging to notice when it's my consciousness versus my mind, but I've learned to observe my thoughts and ask myself, "should I do this?" This method has helped me distinguish between the two and stay on track. Thank you both for sharing your journey and insights with us!
its not often(if ever)that i say i love a streamer but if i do it is in the same way as me saying I love a tv show. i love the content he makes which just happens to be him being himself in the same way i love the show a team of directors and actors put together. i love this man. i love the vampire diaries.
Wow wow wow!! You got to such an extent of depth within that time frame, this was one of the most interesting videos I've ever seen! This is high quality content, thank you for sharing that :)
I wish I could discuss the last section with Dr. K. There were a lot of huge claims that I just couldn't let slide without analyzing the logic behind grandiose claims like recalling memories from past lives. He's smart so I'd love to fully dismantle and examine each other's world views cause we disagree on quite a lot.
Man when dr k said "Often kids resent their dad" when talking about dying for reasons he could have prevented. I never really knew my dad but i knew he hard heart issues and died because he didn't get it checked out, sometimes i catch myself thinking about i never want to be like that, even though i don't really miss him or feel sad that he's died.
Wow, I feel so much closer to Ludwig after this. Dare I say, we are basically friends.
PARASOCIAL ALERT PARASOCIAL ALERT
lol but yeah i feel way more connected to ludwig watching this. its nice to see theres people like us that are "bigger" in the online world
me too, we're practically family at this point. he's my second uncle now
Thank you, amusing commenter, I feel we are closer now.
@@cryoshakespeare4465 nice humor dude, wanna get coffee sometime?
Damn Ludwig's so real I actually like him now.
I guess I should go give him some money.
Ez clap
Scammed
he's not your friend
@@MrDylanHole Cannot tell if serious.
Midnight Commander lud made a video talking about how his viewers arent his real friends, and etc.. people just joke around with the phrase
wow this is so nice to listen to
I agree 💕
He laid it on us
Hey Omni maybe one day I’ll see you talking with dr. K! Big fan btw!
True
true
Damn... I literally cried instantly when Ludwig said, "it's a constant war when someone dies to keep them as much as you can in your life, and you can't because you will lose to time every time." I feel like he just imparted wisdom to all of us from the experience he has with the grieviing process.
"it would be regrettable to not pick a hype decision"
Rephrased: "I've gotta make the mogul move"
I've found my evil twin
@@Giroud91218 holy shit your names
Nice alt account KeKW
One account was made Feb 2013
The other was made in Oct 2013
Coincidence? I think-
@@Giroud91218 yooooooo
"Meditation is a Mario Party Mini Game"
As a Hindu, this was the greatest thing ive ever heard
his crossing of rituals and gaming is freaking me out in a good way
I'm sorry but i still dont really understand the correlation and the meaning behind that tho, does it mean like in a linear sense where youre trying your best to shift yourself to keep yourself in the middle spot? Or something entirely different
If someone would care to explain that would be really helpful! ^-^
Im just writing something so i dont miss the answer i want to know that too
@@ashleyadette4874 Honestly it is one of the best way to describe meditation only if you have experience mario party mini game. The mini game is a small part of a large journey where if you do good in the mini game it can give you a boost. And at the same time, (hard to describe the essence of the mini game) the mini game have such simple mechanics but it is random and chaotic. Thats why the minigames at times are hard even though the mechanics are super simple.
@@milindshah4438 exactly. well said. just to add to it, good meditation is not always about letting go and letting the mind wander off...but instead it’s about propelling yourself to find that pinpoint balance of maintaining control all while letting go at the same time... which feels as you mentioned, “stressful/choatic” yet “naturally simple/organic” like a mario party mini game.
“FiNiSh!” *exhales, and opens eyes.*
15:21
Dr K: Do you feel beholden to?
Lud: ...
Yep, that's our favourite English major.
there is the comment I wanted to make, amazing English Ludwig!
It was interesting I thought he was about to do the joke where he pretends to know the word and googled it but remembered that was exactly what they were talking about
im glad we all agree. lmao was about to type this
I knew this comment had to be here. I could already picture twitch chat spamming “ENGLISH MAJ OMEGALUL R”
English major btw OMEGALUL
"Yeah dad died..... but 3.0 and choir"
Bro let me tell you that i fucking DIED laughing at this part
Timestamp
That was fast as hell lmao
then later "you forgot about the pog car"
You didnt die...his dad did
@@tkdgirl3012 18:50
Lud said his mom had him sleep in her room while dad was on guest room and also mentioned his angsty older sister. Those facts made me realize how YOUNG Lud was when his dad died since he didn't realize the level of pain his dad was causing at home.
Also, what a strong woman his mom had to be, OMG. Amazing mother.
The thought I had was that if he might’ve been bitter and angry like Dr K had said if he had another ten years. This is based of of my experience of course and I don’t mean to be hurtful.
How come you assume that he didnt really realize the level of pain his dad was causing at home? No fronting, I'm just curious because I tend to disagree. Sure, he couldnt grasp the whole situation but even as a child you experience when a person you love (and at least it appears that lud had a positive overall relationship with his dad) turns into a stranger while drinking.
@@BauerAzlan We might have the same understanding but use different words to express it. Yes, I agree he obviously knew something was off and I think one can be really young and still notice the tension around them. What I meant to say is his understanding of the situation was most likely not very complex/nuanced although still existant.
@@BauerAzlan because I didn’t realize until I looked back and compared the two
Yeah but wouldn't his mom have told him about it over the past 16 years?
Holy shit, this was honestly one of the best talks I've heard yet. The amount of questions I have about death and such is insane, and listening to this discussion was so interesting. I literally didn't understand so much of that, but I will keep rewatching this because holy I loved it.
There will be a whole other world when you experience / understand it. Or lets say another "you" ;)
I was about to sleep at 1 in the morning and they started talking about all that shit and now its 2. That was nuts, im gonna be thinking about that shit constantly now.
un. real.
If you're interested in subjects like this and the fundamentals of the universe and life, look up Alan Watts. He's a philosopher and has a bunch of lectures on these and other related topics that are really thought provoking to explore. Can't really go wrong with any of his lectures you pick.
@@LIVEvil789 thanks for the suggestion! Will do :)
really recommend you check the twitch vod of this video, he stayed on for half an hour longer to talk about the stuff they were discussing at the end (which kinda went over luds head imo no disrespect meant)
This felt like the deepest talk of them all, and these two never got lost in the conversation. Seems like they could be good friends tbh lol
ikr dude! it gone super deep for no reason! xD
I think its a talent of ludwigs its why he's blown up so fast
And lud will be like, Im not your friend
Idk about the deepest, don't think you can rank them like that but still one of the deepest I guess
prob why lud gets so much friendly dms
dr: do you love qt?
lud: yes.
dr: how do you know?
Lud: feel good.. heh
Time stamp?
Time stamp
1:05:08
He's trying not to simp 😂
I'm starting to think they're more than roommates..
I really felt Ludwig's "I have to be funny for everyone else' mindset at the beginning. I remember cracking jokes in my first counselling session, even while I was sobbing, and feeling really weird when instead of laughing like people normally do, my counsellor didn't react/ almost seemed pitying. I realised it was one of the first times that someone had seen my humour as a front that I was using to 'come up for air' too frequently, as I am very avoidant when it comes to negative emotions. It also opened up a conversation about how I feel like a burden so never tell people when I'm upset. I'm someone who is very confident and self-assured so I think it would be surprising for many of those close to me to find that out about me, but it was strangely nice but also sad to see someone going through something similar to myself.
It almost seems like a superpower to me. I have the opposite compulsion. To constantly show people how deep and impactful everything is. I think I might benefit myself and others more if I could lighten up more easily.
I think the problem is in when you stay on one extreme for too long. I think his need to lighten the mood constantly might make more serious situations feel trivialized.
Ay, just had this happen to me with a friend! It was weird
Quote from Christopher Hitches that came to mind as Ludwig talked about death. "I do not especially like the idea that one day I shall be tapped on the shoulder and informed, not that the party is over but that it is most assuredly going on-only henceforth in my absence."
FOMO at its absolute limit.
Damn thats a good fucking quote ...
That's a banger of a quote. Let me sit on that.
That's EGO :) :)
This was so amazing. I studied Philosophy, but their discussion about death and consciousness was so much better than 99% of classes I took. It was so great to see Ludwig not just going for the joke, but showing just how smart he is. His remark on the aging brain and how that conflicts with what Dr K said was fantastic. Especially sice I'm not on Dr K's side whenever he goes into this more spiritual direction, it was refreshing to see someone being able to keep up with him and challenge him (don't take this the wrong way, I love Dr K to bits and me not aligning with one belief he has doesn't change that one bit).
I hope they have another talk, there were some things they just touched superficially, for example parasocial relationships and being allowed to feel bad for yourself and compartmentalizing death and grief.
I was about to make a similar comment. I´ve seen Dr K make implications towards philosophical idealism (or substance dualism - still don´t know which is closer to his position), but this discussion really helped to flesh out what his view is. And Ludwig made great points - especially when you consider that he seemed to be thinking about it on the spot.
@@somethingfishy1960 Dr K is basically an idealist and a panpsychist merged into one from what I can tell.
@@somethingfishy1960 Dr K's philosophy is distinctly different from substance dualism since substance dualism says that mind and body are separate whereas he views consciousness and matter (containing both mind and body) as separate. So he is implying that consciousness is something outside of mind and body. He actually mentioned in the video that Western thought on the subject implies that consciousness and mind are the same thing and that he believes different (substance dualism is a Western Philosophy).
I love Dr. K for his psychological understanding but I feel like when it comes to philosophy or spiritual stuff he's not very coherent and I feel the urge to skip these parts because I have to cringe a little when he is so confident about his beliefs.
@@raditzan Yes, trying to fit eastern philosophy into western isnt going to be perfect, but that is what I am more familiar with. I got the sense that he is an idialist, because conciousness is fundamental and our experience of the material only emerging out of it. But when he discribed the interactions between conciousness and the body and mind, it sounds very much like substance dualism. But yes, he draws the border between the two at a different place. Or there might even be three substances, because he also argued for the mind not being material or reducable to matter. Anyhow, while I completely disagree, this conversation was extremely helpful to better understand his view.
"malding is within the mind" - dr. k
For some reason i hear/imagine this being said by Master Onion from Parappa the Rapper.
@@VerbalLearning "Kick! Punch! It's all in the mind" 🎶
Ludwig seems to have a pretty good head on his shoulders
Yeah he's pretty smart
How much did he pay you?
@@e.d.5766 On a path to somewhere or nowhere.
Yeah he does have some nice clean hair
How do you know his shoulders are real
“Can you tell me about your mom?”
“Yeah, my Mom is pretty dope”
"you can cut me off for a rack, thats fair" I really enjoy listening to Ludwig
Mans said "20k on the reg you know how it is doctor"
"Actually I don't"
Straight flexing on him😂😂😂
As someone who lost my father at 17 I can relate a fuck ton to Lud, appreciate the content of both of you, watch Lud and Dr. K regularly. Keep it up boys.
yeah I lost my dad at 14 due to a smoking and alcohol addiction and man this hits pretty close to home
@@bryannguyen5633 I feel for you brother.
Ok jonah. Jk, I really hope that its something you haven't let bother you too much, and I know that you have the some potential as him!
I feel you man, I was 19 when I lost my dad
fuck. I’m 17 and just lost my father 2 weeks ago from a sudden brain aneurysm. going to listen to this thing.
It’s really interesting because throughout this talk, Ludwig often seems like he is having a hard time articulating himself in a serious manner, and I don’t know if he is fully in control of how often he jokes around, because it has become such a habit for him. At the same time, he has these amazing moments of clarity such as when he talks about always losing in a race against time when it comes to death, and those moments show that he has the capacity for seriousness, but often uses jokes or sarcasm as some sort of defense mechanism, which it sounds like he developed from his father’s passing.
i agree with this comment the most
Insane to see both these channels grow up and now this 😳
It's like some cinematic universe
@@ezaf5989 ok?
@@ezaf5989
Lol
@@ezaf5989 You are like that Hutch fan that begged Hutch to kick Destiny off his stream.
1:28:11 I teared up a little here when Dr. K got up front and asked about his dad. Lud is such a strong dude to keep a straight face and not cry at that moment. He got a difficult childhood and he's such a fine and funny guy. Good job my dude
@@guptadagger896 Yeah, you're right.
yeah, same thing here. really beautiful ideas
This one was honestly so good. I can’t believe this content is free to watch. Thank you Dr. K for all you do!
ludwig makes it hard not to form a parasocial relationship with him, he is such a good dude, to bad we will never be friends lulw
the saddest LULW ever typed
You get that thats the parasocial relationship talking, right?
@@Imbalanxd yes. It's likely he exactly knows.
you can like and care about someone without believing you have a relationship with him
wow ludwig is such a charismatic funny guy. I get why he's popular on twitch man. straight up entertainer and sees a lot of things in a really healthy way.
Ive been having a lot of existential dread lately. I would feel sick to my stomach constantly. This video helped so much. Thank you Dr. K and Ludwig
Existence is painful and sad
Its more for me that i wont be able to do everything i want, and that i really could die at any time
@@abyvs i feel you bro ..i used to think of being dead at any time a lot ..but only after i kind of understood that death will happen to any of us (me included)..because as i child i thought i was special and unique to god (lol). But anyways death always scared the shit out of me and it kind of still does but not in the same level.
Now, i am more worried about the future of myself and of the society and of the universe..because today's society f sucks so bad , internet sucks , youtube sucks ..you just cannot get anything useful out of these in my opinion.
Then it is life which is f unfair - good people die , we age, our loved ones die, do we go to hell or to heaven, does afterlife even exist?!? What is reality? What is existence? Are we living in a game simulation or in some sort of an experimental lab devised by superbeings??!
It is an imperfect socieity who are damaging planet and almost every year you got something negative happen (wars, epidemics..) and many fools dont think on their feet but they keep myltiplying their f useless dna..
It is also an imperfect universe, flawed biology, flawed earth, flawed everything..
And lastly nature of universe, physical rules are so neutral which is scary af..we have souls , why do we have to suffer, why should suffering be the ultimate end?!
Sorry for the long comment bro..take care.
@@tabularasa9576 If you think about it, the mere fact that there are laws that govern the foundations of the universe is mind boggling. Why are they the way they are? Why is there law and order in the first place? Is it self-generated or was it made this way? Just thinking about it makes me feel curious and inspired. I'm completly in awe.
About death, I'm legit more curious of what will happen. I don't fear it at all, BUT thinking about someone close to me dying is scary af.
@@67377cbbbsb ah good old nihilism, fun bit about it, however dreadful it may seem at first, it can be turned into a positive.
You see, if nothing matters, you have every reason in the world and outside of it to do what you truly want to, if there is no inherent meaning or reason to and for life your freedom is truly absolute.
I have recently been binging all of Dr.K's videos and I try to use other peoples experiences and apply them to my personal life. I have been learning a lot about myself. I'm very grateful for his content.
i personally think his videos are not meant to be binged, watch one, reflect on it, then maybe watch another one next week. else theres just too much stuff going in at once.
@@tachiiderp People are different, and can therefore process information at different capacities as well as for different amounts of time.
I see where you are coming from though, and I agree that as a general advice it would be positive to encourage people to take their time and reflect on the content of these videos.
Yes! I've also noticed that I'm starting to copy his way of conversing. It's really helping me to ask questions instead of feeling threatened when someone believes something other than I do. And man, I love his 'can I think for a second'. I've become a much better listener and am trying to curb my adhd mind in conversations, as to not blurt out every thought that wells up at other peoples words. It's very challenging though, and takes conscious effort. I guess that again goes to show that the mind is something that's different from consciousness.
I would love to see sykunno on the show but I would imagine he would be extremely nervous and maybe not give alot.
I think he would drive Dr, K up the wall, even if he wanted to, he really can’t break his “persona” where he’s built himself around his personality, he can’t really change it
I think sykunno keeps a ton of things to himself. I've only seen him really crack once. It might be that he just wants to treat streaming as a time to have fun and make people happy. there is sides of him we might not ever see and thats fine. I do like how he has gotten more comfortable infront of the camera because I know he really dealt with crippling low self esteem and insecurities but I am noticing him losing some mannerism slowly and looking more comfortable. It feels good to see him succeed personally. I've gleaned a few things that is none of my business but also relatable.
@Squalid I don't think so. He might crack, but I don't think the insecurities he shows are a big deal for him. Maybe he has some but I wouldn't think we'd know of it.
@@Jonas-cf4oi i agree. When I said cracked i mean he tries to keep personal things to him self but has gotten visibley upset once and what I was referring to was when he was having a bad day and got a bit emotional which later turns out was actually due to personal life and a bit of chat. When it comes to the insecurities I feel like he has only shared the ones he is okay to share and I dont blame him because people on the internet can be really mean and when are dealing with something that really effects you, you just don't want to be vulnerable. He has talked about stuff but if you notice its always something that effected him in the past which is easier to tell because people generally feel like there is enough distance from that versions of them selfs and the person we are today.
Too "fake and guarded" because of Asian societal pressures.
“do you feel beholden to?”
“what does that word mean”
english major btw KEKW
He’s an English major-not a dictionary. Lol
@@mxshellx Yeah chat pokes fun a lot when he doesn’t know a word but English majors use thesauruses instead of memorizing every single word in the language
I watched this expecting to have a really bad panic attack about death, and just now finishing it I feel so at ease and much more understanding. Dr. K just put so many concepts that I've known about but didn't fully understand into words and ideas that I can wrap my mind around and that brought me a lot of joy and relief
im so glad about this for you (I guess it really has been a year since you made this comment, so i hope the notification doesnt scare you haha) I hope you're doing well at this moment and have expanded your consciousness even further since hearing this conversation
I had the EXACT same experience. ❤ My boyfriend sent me this video after a convo we just had and it really truly made me feel so much better.
Been going through an existential crises for months and this is honestly the first time someone has provided an explanation about consciousness that has satisfied me. Hope you are feeling better now and having less panic attacks
LOVE THESE VIDEOS DOC!!! ❤❤❤
Yo wut up check mark guy
I did not think this would be the first reply I saw on a HealthyGamer video. Rugby Player reacts to a discussion on death and consciousness?
Cuz you're too lazy to read or think for yourself
So the story, that Dr. K told of the patient in a Koma really stuck with me. I regularly have dreams like that. Dreams that have no inconsistencies. They just feel so REAL. It's scary.
That's wild Holy fuck
Coma
KKoma fake
When that happens to me, when the dream feels like it's real, it happens in real life some time after. Which freaks me the fuck out. Happened a bunch of times.
The dreams that are mundane everyday stuff can be terrifying especially back when I was drinking heavily and doing a lot of psychedelics. The repeated false awakening dreams are quite hellish as well
OMG!!!! THE COMA!!! Me too!! 9 month coma.. I had a WHOLE LIFE. When I woke up I started realizing they were never real😢. It gave me ptsd or at least symptoms of. A lot of my dreams were so so awful but amongst all that I had fallen in love with someone. I spent time with my mom, grandmother.. My entire extended family!! I had to reexperience the losses. My uncle, who was alive, had died in my second life. So under the influence of medication I literally asked him if he had died😂I was talking to him on the phone😂
I told him he was going to die because I saw him in the dreams and he had died. 3 months later, while I was in physical rehab learning to walk again, he died. 😮
Dr. Alok “what the yogis observed” Kanoja
Kanojia*
52:40 is the first timestamp for those curious
Wow, ludwigs past is a lot deeper then I would have originally expected...
Yeah, I all of a sudden feel more compelled to donate money to him...
@@PeppoMusic simple plan mogul move form parasocial relationship from shared experience
I dunno I feel you scratch more then an inch deep into almost anyone's life and you'll be surprised what they've been through. No one really has a fully normal life.
@@john81697 I do lol. There are plenty of people who've had normal lives. I would even argue Ludwig's life hasn't been dark and sad. He was only ten, and it's clear it's never deeply upset him or messed him up. He seems very happy, and emotionally fine, whether or not that's because he was just ten, or maybe he just handles things better than others, I don't know, but I felt like Dr. K was trying to "make a mountain out of a mole hill" even though he said he wasn't.
@@yellowtitan6040 just because you are able to healthily push something aside at 10 doesn’t mean he has fully processed it. He could go his whole life without fully processing it and get by with humor and his life would be great and he wouldn’t need help like he said. If he processed it though he could reach a greater understanding of himself and his thoughts about death allowing him to live a better life.
Dr. K talking about Death and Conciousness in a spiritual sense has helped me relieve so much anxiety about exisistentialism and nothing mattering at all. I will go on to fulfill my own journey in this body/mind/life and make changes that help myself and those around me. Hope everyone realizes that they do matter and keep safe :)
Around the time when dr k. Was gaining popularity, so was ludwig, in fact I believe even months before ludwig's stream's were growing larger and larger. I was watching dr k. Religiously at that time but eventually stopped and moved on to different content creators and eventually a few months ago I found ludwig. This colab has brought me back, and mannnn do I love this shit so freaking much. Thank you Dr k. And thank you ludwig for comming on. This is a masterpiece in my eyes. I hope to see a part two one day (fingers crossed)
Amazing session!
The only thing I wish was explored a bit more was a kind of hypocritical thing Lud said pretty early on...
He talked about how he didn’t deserve to be on stream because he felt like other people were more qualified (like QT) and then when Dr K asked about this, he gave the “other people have it worse so I just focus on the positives” argument. But... that argument could be used for anyone. You could say to anyone that’s been on the show that “well someone’s had it worse than you”. If QT came up to Lud after a hard day, would the advice he give her really be “yeah but other people have it harder so cheer up!”? OF COURSE NOT! He’s creating a double standard for himself where he’s giving other people more support than himself and basically just saying “man up” to himself and that’s not healthy! He’s attempting to diminish his own problems and that’s definitely something that should be addressed!
You can tell Ludwig is very uncomfortable talking about his feelings. He always wants to joke and talk about surface level stuff. Which is okay opening up is extremely hard.
dude they talked about it abundantly in the beginning
Yeah the jokers usually have deep shit inside
@@brooo4219 For sure. I have recently been binging all of Dr.K's videos and I try to use other peoples experiences and apply them to my personal life. I have been learning a lot about myself. I'm very grateful for his content.
@@brooo4219 yuup the funny kid that's also kinda smart is always fucked up
on-stream ludwig and offline ludwig are supposedly very different people, certainly it's my impression that he's not particularly comfortable talking about emotions and feelings in general but I think streamer mode amplifies that in a big way here.
Man I got major goosebumps from that story of the man who came out of a coma. That story was heartbreaking.
Managed to catch this one live and it was so nice! The dynamic between you two was really nice! And the conversation about death was especially refreshing :)
I have an inexplicable fear of death (which when I think about it, it could be more of a fear of not knowing what is gonna happen) so it was actually quite insightful!
I also see myself in Ludwig a lot (and I feel like a lot of other people do as well) with the trying to cope by making jokes and not letting gravity sit with me because it would feel crushing at times, as well as it feeling kind of a waste of time for other people, but it really is important to let it sit sometimes.
I feel like Ludwig would be a great person to have on to take these more philosophical and heavy topics in the future!
fear of the unknown? are you scared of space or the deep ocean
@@greasyshoe you don't have to (seemingly) inevitably have to experience space or the deep ocean as you experience death
@@greasyshoe Funnily enough, neither. I am afraid of not knowing what is gonna happen, almost like a fear of not being able to prepare myself for the unknown. I have done deep sea diving and I found it extremely relaxing, and although I am not an astronaut (LMAO), the idea of going to space doesn't scare me.
I am surprised Dr K hasn't managed to get an interview with Valkyrae yet. She is expressive and blunt. She would have a lot to say and a lot of insight as a successful streamer.
maybe her contract with YT doesn't allow her to go to other twitch channels
Afaik she said she doesn't want to have public therapy.
@@BruTaliuss Yea some people, while this is not a therapy session, still might not feel comfortable with the degree of vulnerability that is required to have a decent "diccussion" with Dr. K
@@BruTaliuss probably a smart decision
I didn't watch much of Dr. K, this session with Lud wasn't really therapie/he didn't open that much up, but I got curious and watched the session with his girlfriend QT, and yeah... if you have issues and need real therapy you shouldn't go on Dr. K
Man I've been to therapy for like 4 years now and looking back everyone I've been to helped me come back up for air when I needed it. I could never pinpoint what it was what made talking to them so much easier than to friends etc. but looking back it is because I don't come back up for air on my own. I would simply drown myself. So Ludwig beeing able to come back up (and Dr. K encouraging him) is a really valuable life skill.. guess I know what my next session will be about :0
I have never felt like a youtuber is my friend, quite the opposite. I've always felt like famous people aren't real until I meet them.
its much different on twitch, when small streamers use to respond to many comments on twitch chat directly
^^ same
tho i do hang out in smaller twitch communities (< 10 viewers) a lot more than bigger twitch communities, so i do become quite close w/ the creators.
I love spirituality, cosmology and philosophy, so this conversation is a real treat..! and Lud in general seems like a great guy to have conversations with, too bad he hasn't replied to my emails or DMs. Still consider him my friend tho :)
this was a joy to watch as a long time ludwig viewer and a feelings person. he truly does have a buoyant mind and it's not easy to swim deeper. thanks for the work you do. lud deserves a good cry
The conversation about meditating while drunk or high really resonated with me. I have always described being high/drunk as very frustrating because I feel fully conscious but I can't manifest my consciousness in a controlled manner. I felt the same way when I was under anesthesia (Nitrous Oxide) for a dental procedure, I was completely conscious and I remember it vividly, I remember the conversation the doctor was having with the nurse, I remember the pressure in my gums and I remember hearing myself breathe but being unable to feel it (which was terrifying). This has been really interesting to hear.
ludwigs past is so different that i ever thought. Even with such tragic event he went past it and He grew up being so positive. i am new to twitch streamers and ludwig is so good.. he is one of the best.
Interesting about the timing with the comedic story when he was 10; first memory brought up of his father is the shower race, funny story revolves around cutting time by doing dishes in the shower.
I think the single biggest reason people ask creators for life advice is because after listening to you for long enough, we develop a trust with you and your judgement. You feel like a friend, and that feeling means we overlook how we're not your friend.
I came looking for an experience that would alleviate my fear of death, I had assumed nothing he could say would change my fear and I have never been more wrong. The content and depth of what he talked about hit me in a way I did not know was possible. I leave this video with a life changing experience in my mind now and I could not be more grateful for this. Dr. K is imo one of the smartest people in the world in regards to understanding existence and people. This has brought me new found peace of mind.
The way Dr k is so in touch with spirituality yet so skeptical in nature while seeing the truth in life through being that way really speaks to me.
The conversation somehow helped me realize that I dig into distractions because they help me hide from experiences or memories I am not afraid of anymore
I enjoyed this so much. Ludwig, you are well rounded with great energy (oddly rare in today’s world). Keep it up. Loved the Mario Party Mini-Game analogy. Dr. K did a great job propelling past Ludwig’s streamer identity/ego to provide him with a few new self-awareness perspectives. This was a great session.
My dad died in February, and this helps. I’m only a couple months in and I’m already losing memories . That battle is raging
I'd suggest writing everything down every time you think of something, like in your notes app of your phone. It'll be nice to touch upon in the future, and might help you in the moment
my dad died in January yeah its rough its hard to remember his face and when I hear his voice in videos or voicemails its not the way I remember its almost like unrecognizable but not really I am glad I can remember stuff but also I know that it wont last I know those memories will fade away and it tears me up inside I try to buck up and say that's just apart of life but inside I do not want to except it I know how you feel and I would say that we'll make it but I know that doesn't help at all and honestly pisses me off when people say that
(sorry for this random comment and rambling I just had to vent and get this out)
@@PostalDude1523 You're both doing great
My dad died in December, the difference is I didn't have a lot of memories with him, and the memories I had weren't exactly the best memories. I was pretty estranged from him. My mom was just seeing herself out of the relationship when I was younger. I can't say he was the best person when it came to the relationship with my mom, but even my mom said he loved my big bro and I.
Love this so much! I would argue that consciousness needs matter and energy in order to experience; the brain and body being the fine tuned sensor that has evolved to be so capable of understanding our world in the kind of detail that we do.
I had a brain injury that lasted several years and my experience was that I felt my consciusness almost leave me. And only now coming back into my body as my brain heals am I consious of that lack of the lack of consiousness I experienced by comparison and heinseight.
Your videos and these conversations help me so much. THANK YOU.
The way Lud talks about his Dad....I know it was a long time ago but there's this sort of emotional detatchment I'm picking up on. I feel like Lud is the type of person who would be unable to tell a sad story from his own life or in general without throwing in a laugh... maybe a joke or 2.
It's a coping mechanism. Some people crack jokes at a funeral, others bawl their eyes out. There's different reactions for different people - the way big boy Lud deal with loss is cracking a joke and coming up for air, for some that can be a way to deal with pain and for other it can be a huge insult, it all depends on the person.
I was wondering through it all if he might possibly be a psychopath, because he literally showed not a single ounce of sadness about it, speaking about it in the most matter of fact manner, and even seeming confused by Dr. K's clear reaction of feeling empathy for him (when he asked to be excused to get himself a tissue). On top of that, he can "snap into" his super charismatic twitch persona at the drop of a hat, quicker than your eye can even catch.
So I think at least a few of the telltale signs are there, but I'm by no means a professional psychologist or psychiatrist, so my reads could be way off.
@@JamesBrown-wy7xs You're jumping to some buck wild conclusions bud. People with trauma often compartmentalize to survive.
@@JamesBrown-wy7xs you must of missed the part where he said he was 10 years old when his dad died and can’t remember a lot about him anymore 15 years later
@@jorgeluiscorrea992 I didn't miss that part, but I can't say I can relate to his issue, so, as I stated in that earlier post, my reads could be way off. I'd like to think that I'd feel something for my own father if he passed when I was 10, and I imagine that I'd carry a lot of pain from the loss for many many years afterward, but, again, I haven't experienced that, so I can't say for sure. Maybe I'd react just like he did, 15 years later.
so "pics or it didn't happen" was closer to the truth than we realized...
seriously, though. this was amazing. Dr K and Ludwig - thanks for your willingness to display your vulnerable self for us to go on this journey with you, both of you. i remember when this wouldn't have made sense and i remember the moment when i woke up to many of the things you are talking about here - not on the same paths i am gleaning you took, not from the vantage you had, but it's that unexplainable "kind of you know when you come to know it" type thing. but it's so beautiful to hear people talk about the sense of knowing, the lightbulb, the waking up to an understanding/a knowing of these things that cannot be easily taught. it is my hope that doesn't sound like a boast, i'm sitting here marveling and feeling lighter being reminded of these truths, because the bonkers thing is you can start to get a grasp on some of this and then move back to business as usual. thanks again for this. beautiful. gosh. especially everything from the coma to the end - lucid dreaming, the collapse of the waveform upon observation, the breath work, all of it. thanks for giving me more to ponder again.
Lud has a very mature way of processing the sad aspects of his childhood. I am very interested to know when he developed and or adopted this philosophy. This he instantly thought that way as a child or did he reflect on his past after forming this idea as an adult? The stage in life when he developed this mindset can have an effect on how he navigated life until now.
A lot of what he was saying tracks with Stoicism, and it really seems to have worked for him so far
I haven't cried in a long time but parts of this finally made that happen. Take care of yourself Lud
Yup, same here too, certain moments were so powerful
I'm at one part of the death segment where Ludwig mentions the laws of physics and I haven't gotten further so this may come up but here's an important thing about the universe and physics
You can write all the equations you want and do all the experiments you can but the universe may very well just decide to do something different.
An example is the expansion of the universe, we don't exactly know why it is accelerating last time I checked, we don't know what happens in black holes, we don't know a lot, we can write equations, theorize, and so on, but the universe could very well start collapsing back into itself, black holes could lead to alternate universes or other parts of the universe, and death could be something we entirely will never understand (from quantum immortality to afterlife stuff to anything else)
So from what they are saying... I should practice my pick up lines on Ludwig. Gotcha
No, that wasn't it chief-
That's exactly it chief.
Love that takeaway.
Absolute chills on this session. My brain (or should I say my consciousness) feels so big rn. I’m gonna go lay down and question reality now
lol, same here. it makes me happy whenever another person (like yourself) is lucky enough to stumble across something that leads to a significant growth in that person's consciousness. doing what i can to help expand the consciousness of others is a primary goal i have in life.
I really am thankful for this, I have been searching for a closure for my fear of death, which was instigated by this COVID 19 pandemic. Too much time led to me overthinking about death, sometimes even slight panic attack occurs, I was so troubled by it that I find ways to forget the feeling or to preoccupy myself so I can run from those kinds of thoughts. Thinking about it, it's gotten to the point that I felt like what I'm doing is pointless and I just feel hopeless when I'm not doing anything. I haven't finished the whole video since it's 11:55 PM atm but once I wake up, I will watch it thoroughly.
You're doing the best you can
Been reading a lot of stoic stuff so this talk was extra interesting!! Love lud a lot now, glad we're such good friends :0
I watched lud’s video and now i’m coming here to watch the rest, really like this, it’s really nice to see this side of ludwig
I have panic attacks about death a lot. I think about death and what it would be like, what would be left of me. How eternal nothingness or even eternal somethingness would be. I am terrified of both, since I see no way I could be at peace with either. I feel like I am looking at fractals, where consciousness just keeps going deeper and deeper and deeper. Like we’re in a matrix of a matrix of a matrix etc. I’m just afraid it never ends. It terrifies me since I have no control over it. And there is no reason that is true, but that’s what it feels like
Yeah that’s the nail on the head for me. It’s terrifying either way !!! Lol
8:50
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20:37
22:00 LOL
23:00 coming up for air
24:00 forgetting, losing piece by piece
25:40 parasocial, being real
27:00
27:50 fake memories
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29:00
31:10
32:10 letting go
33:00 growing out of it
34:40 young
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37:20 funny for job
38:20 comedy helps us sit w
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42:30 dang
43:50 going up for air
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48:40 control, helped from seeing life thru internal locus of control
50:30
53:50 life after death
doesnt seem 'fun'...
55:00
55:50 the one abt death
57:00
58:30 patient cries when no ones looking
1:00:20 i have a lot to be grateful for
1:01:20 woah....
1:03:30
1:04:10 feels real
1:05:00 aw
1:05:40
1:07:00
1:08:20 samurai goofy got no shoes: finding an internal inconsistency in dream
1:09:00 feels real
1:10:00 observer vs object
1:11:40 consciousness
1:15:30
1:18:00 just woke up: enlightened, make the videos that i want, just controlling what i can
snapping out of the mental patterns,
taking a step back & shattering the dream
1:20:30 ? consciousness w age
1:21:50 our/outside perception
1:23:40
1:25:45 identity & consciousness
1:27:50 why is death important to know abt
1:29:25 studied for the test,
cant control whether i get an a,
but i can be confident in the work that ive done
1:31:00
1:33:00 sitting w it VS getting wrapped up w it -> consciousness
1:35:00
1:37:00 hmm
1:38:40
1:40:00 past life trauma
1:42:40 sit w negative feelings & avatar state 😂 of enlightenment
1:45:00 mario party minigame meditation
1:45:40 bruh yeah
1:47:00 😂 good vibes
wow this was so otherworldly
I had a similar dream on the lines of the goofy samurai with no shoes. I had reoccurring dreams of a Hispanic spiderman on a segway that would drive me throughout New York. Haven't had that dream in a while, but I think about it often
"How can we be real if our eyes arn't real?" makes sense now.
Wow, I relate to Ludwig so much, I feel like I know him. I'm gonna DM him and we can become best friends and give him some money.
Having a Dr. with this large of an audience talking about the importance of Vedic and yogic traditions and dealing with the self is extremely powerful and useful for anyone. Thank you so much for this talk!
This has been unreal to listen to. So many profound realizations. I’ve always felt no matter how impaired I was on anything I have an inner sober me. I realize now that’s just my consciousness. I’ve always been very very aware of myself. So this puts me at ease.
I might be a few years late but I hope someone reads this.
They gave the example of drinking and being consciously aware.
As a person who works in sports medicine, and have had my own concussions. I wonder how meditation during a concussion would experience. In addition, many of the concussion symptoms are physical, not necessarily “mental” at least from the current understanding.
I've been waiting for this for ages! Cool!
I'm shocked after hearing about that alt life you can perceive as 100% real while in a comma, I mean am I in a comma right now? 😳
I've watched almost every interview Dr. K has given, and this one was absolutely one of my favorites. It was so insightful, interesting, deep, whatever you want to call it. Just wonderful
This was super enlightening in a lot of ways, both as a long-time ludwig viewer and a novice psychonaut - thanks for this excellent collab Dr. K!
Hope you two talk more in the future, I'd be interested to hear more about parasocial relationships since that got sidelined for the (much more poignant and compelling) personal stuff
This guy is a hell of a therapist.
I've had a very similar experience to Ludwig in regards to death, multiple times throughout my life. It actually happened really severely last night and I can't stop thinking about it. I still remember the first time it happened, I was probably 4 or 5 and I woke up in the middle of the night with the sudden realization of "I'm going to die one day and that's it. That's the end, nothing more comes after that." This has happened on and off throughout my life, the thought that one day I'm not going to exist or even be aware of the fact that I don't exist is so terrifying to me. Last night I woke up out of nowhere with that same feeling of "One day I'm gonna be dead and eternity will continue without me," and I started to freak out. I've felt scared all day knowing that it's going to happen some day, it is absolutely inevitable and nothing can change it. That scares me terribly.
That’s exactly what happens with me. How long have you been experiencing that and have you made any progress with coming to terms with it?
Im also wondering
@@kizunahenta.1759that's what I'm wondering. Also have u had any progress lol, Kizy?
I listened to this in podcast form and started full on sobbing. And then I hear Dr. K say he needs a tissue😭
One of the best talks I've had the pleasure of listening to. Thank you!
It was so nice when living in an academy dorm I paired with a guy who was really into understanding dreams and consciousness and I had special perspective to share with him, because unlike him I had multiple experiences of lucid dreams and just bizarre dreams in general.
Thinking about the negative is totally necessary. Iv focused on the negative too much and got stuck and I see how that’s not wrong, it means grows and str. But I did get caught into like a moth to a light. I love that I can learn to see both:) love y’all
I have so much respect for Dr. K and how he is able to match his communication style with who he has on while still tackling some really heavy issues. Thank you Dr. K and Lud!
I really liked listening to the part about consciousness, mainly because I studied it quite a bit last year in university, but only western views. So it was interesting hearing that eastern yogis came to the same conclusions I had from entirely different approaches and backrounds. Thanks Dr K.
The collab I never knew I needed.
I think a good answer to his question about why be mald about that is. Mald and Anger is an emotion thats hard to have control over in the first place so, Being grateful and taking the time to be and to give yourself the time to even feel it in the first place. Thats why its an and, not an or. you can feel something against your will.
Damn ludwig's so real, I actually like him now
Fr man I might give him some money and dm him
I love him
I really feel like I deeply understand him, it’s like I know him completely
The story about the guy in the coma makes me a little relieved about dreams I've had. I remember at least 2 instances where I've dreamed up an entire life, from childhood to death, and upon waking up I always experienced a huge amount of sadness over the next couple days. Hearing about this experience just makes me think I've been having similar, but on a smaller scale experiences. Whenever I would wake up, I wouldn't have fully vivid recollection of the events of my 'dream life', it would feel more like distant memories. I'd have memories of important events, having kids, getting married, some other specific things like an important trip or even some extremely sad moments. They feel like memories in the same way that I remember my childhood, such that they're very vague ideas of my life, with some cemented in specific moments. I'd imagine someone in a coma would have the time to have much more vivid memories formed, but still possibly in the same way that the dreams happened for me. The only thing that grounds me, and keeps me from believing in some way that those dreams are 'real', is that they were always idealized versions of what a 'good life' usually is, with only a few bad moments sprinkled in. Nothing in the 'dream life' was unexpected, which is not really how my 'real life' experience is. In 'real life', things happen unexpectedly all the time. However, to me that only proves that my 'dream life' may not be real because it seems directly influenced and created by my own mind, but I have no way to prove that my 'real life' is real, as I haven't 'woken up' yet to realized that THIS is in fact a fabrication of some other conscious experience.
Anyway that's my rambling moment.
It really doesn't matter whether or not the dream is real. Perception is reality, so if you perceived events to be real, they could very well change your outlook on things.
Stuff like DMT trips can be life altering to people too.
I imagine such a vivid dream would be like watching a very emotional movie ×1000. I know I was sad for days after finishing the last of us 2 even if not of it is real.
@@DutchMadness77
Damn Joe rogan must have been through a lot then
@@authorbhattacharjee4957 DMT for breakfast lunch and dinner my dude
This is SUCH an amusing conversation. It's the funniest Dr. K interview i think. I've seen so many of them now.
The video was fantastic! I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed listening to your discussion about consciousness. In fact, I've watched many of your videos and found your insights to be incredibly helpful.
In some of your videos, one thing that really stood out to me was the idea that our mind can often "gaslight" us. For example, when we're supposed to be studying, but end up scrolling through TikTok even though we know its bad, it's because our mind is giving itself excuses to avoid doing the work. It's a great way to escape reality.
Learning that our mind and consciousness are two separate things has helped me tackle problems I couldn't solve before, like focusing on my studies. Now, I try to differentiate between whether it's my mind or my consciousness telling me to do something. If I catch my mind trying to gaslight me, I use techniques you've taught in your videos to regain focus. For example, I try accepting myself and reminding myself that I know I can't focus well, but I can at least try for a few minutes before taking a break.
Sometimes it's challenging to notice when it's my consciousness versus my mind, but I've learned to observe my thoughts and ask myself, "should I do this?" This method has helped me distinguish between the two and stay on track. Thank you both for sharing your journey and insights with us!
He is good at holding it in.
its not often(if ever)that i say i love a streamer but if i do it is in the same way as me saying I love a tv show. i love the content he makes which just happens to be him being himself in the same way i love the show a team of directors and actors put together. i love this man. i love the vampire diaries.
Fascinating take on consciousness. and a great talk overall.
It amazes me every time when Dr K becomes tearful, he’s so compassionate and Empathic.
Wow wow wow!! You got to such an extent of depth within that time frame, this was one of the most interesting videos I've ever seen! This is high quality content, thank you for sharing that :)
I wish I could discuss the last section with Dr. K.
There were a lot of huge claims that I just couldn't let slide without analyzing the logic behind grandiose claims like recalling memories from past lives.
He's smart so I'd love to fully dismantle and examine each other's world views cause we disagree on quite a lot.
I've been waiting for this for a long time.
Man when dr k said "Often kids resent their dad" when talking about dying for reasons he could have prevented. I never really knew my dad but i knew he hard heart issues and died because he didn't get it checked out, sometimes i catch myself thinking about i never want to be like that, even though i don't really miss him or feel sad that he's died.