Been in no contact for 9 months he never reached out. Slowly understanding that he will not reach out due to his avoidant attachment. Was together for three years. Seems like I didn’t matter. Hope we all heal from the pain we’re going through. Lots of love ❤
I’m sorry you are hurting. He may never reach out but you have to learn to be okay with that. Things happen for a reason so if he doesn’t see how amazing your are someone else will. The longer it’s been the better you heal.
My ex and I speak often. She initiates communication as well. And she said " She hopes we're not over for good. But that entirely depends on us " We initially broke up in December and it's been up and down since. However, she's finally seeing that I've evolved and my only focus at the moment is what I call L&R which is love and respect. She noticed that I can not only stay away. But be loving and respectful when we do interact. It's difficult not being attached to the outcome when it's someone you love. But this is all I have left that I haven't tried and it seems to be working. I tried ignoring her and it infuriated her because that doesn't fit my situation. As long as she still has feelings for me that's all the encouragement I need. I'm actually beginning to appreciate the breakup. I feel we'll be so much better together now. Meanwhile I'm growing as a man and adding value to myself overall.
This is my situation also! Its ups and downs. I try to initiate no contact and she ends up contacting within a couple of days. I dont ignore her because like you said I can still be loving and respectful if she reaches out. Shes also been very respectful with this so im just reciprocating it back. Im currently doing non contact again but atleast we agreed that we both want to fix this and we just need some days to gather our thoughts on tje situation and talk about it
Girl I like, likes me too but her dad passed away in February and she got out of an abusive relationship 4 months before that. Told me from the beginning that she wants friendship, and doesnt want to date now which I respected. I grew feelings for her, and she grew feelings for me. Only a few weeks ago she finally got to burry her dad. And one day I checked on her to see how she was doing . She thought I was being needy in that moment, because my dumbass told her she was being short in her messages which I regret saying. I legit wanted to know how her day was. But since then about 2 weeks ago, she brings that moment up and says I was needy and she thinks I will be that way again. Which I’m not and I wont, wish she’d see that she created that scenario in her head. Her ex was needy and controlling / abusive and I feel like she might think I will end in that route. I’m not her ex, she told me she wants friendship again and isnt ready for a relationship or wanting one atm. Which was what she said from the beginning , yet she messages me everyday still, goodmorning , goodnight texts, how was my day, weekend, crack jokes, let me know when she made it home etc. I never once had a bad gut feeling about her , I had that bad feeling about my exes though and of course it ended. With her I dont feel that bad feeling. I see a future, I get happy hearing from her , always have good things to say. I do hope in time, she will see we are actually good for eachother. Been watching these videos to try and understand what to do, what it all means etc. Came across some stuff that sounded bad because the situation I explained is way different, especially dealing with a loss in the family. So I get that anxiety feeling in my stomach , worrying. But it passes , and I start to think that I do see a future and that she wont always feel this way
@@NeilWeaselboots The best thing you can do is stay away. It's VERY HARD but it's necessary. After a while you'll get the hang of it. Adding pressure is only going to delay the outcome. When you do speak , keep it respectful and brief.
First month into the break-up I was devastated, I couldn't eat, sleep, I went crazy. After a month, 2 weeks no contact, I am so peaceful, I am thinking, why we didn't break up earlier. I am not concerned anymore if he loves me, or contacts me, or comes to my place. Now it is silence and it is so calming.
Update, in August after two months of silence he contacted me. We are together since 6 weeks, we were talking for hours, now it is much better, everything.
No contact and to ensure -no run ins I moved to a different state. Once we are done ,it’s done. It’s been 4 years and I’m so relieved, I don’t have to worry about the lies, breadcrumbs etc……
I wouldn't even be excited.. at all.. I realized my ex acts just like their ex.. and all I'll ever get is the same mess because that person never took time to heal and jump from relationship to relationship within secs.. so there's nothing amazing when someone misses you or thinking about you when they lack accountability and don't even realize the things they hate about their previous ex.. they turned into..
I can definitely relate cause my ex you to tell me all the time I remind her of her exes similarities but at that time I'm proving that I'm loyal to her through the good and bad we will get through this together tried to correct my mistakes from the 1st time I can leave temporary she will tell me I can't leave but if it was viceversa she'll make a scene and make it seem like I'm a monster red flags of her exes she was the real control freak we been broken up 4 months she already is in another relationship with someone In prision knowing she been down that road before and she was being used but I seen this dude comment on her Facebook so they been talking no telling when tho that's the best you can do the best version of yourself and I'm not saying someone in prison can't be someone true soulmate in this case without her healing it's not going to happen you couldn't do time with me out here when I was great to you how you going to be fully committed to someone on the inside and then think God is going to have paradise waiting for you with him or any other man good karma dosent work that way we both were suppose to be healing and 2 months after we broke up she was already in another relationship she hasn't healed or even trying to heal cause she can't handle being alone she will regret loosing out on me Im not the easiest person to get along with but neither was she I was there good and bad days I applaud myself cause I came along way from mistreating woman I felt like I owed woman especially the black woman
Hurts she is in another relationship but what's makes it worse is she was making up excuses why she doesn't contact me when it was cause she was in a new relationship when she could have been honest I wouldn't have liked it but I would of respected it cause deep down sometimes it's hard to tell someone the truth but why I have to find out on Facebook smh
@@christoffervik9997 when you come from a life like mine when your mom is the 1st one who broke your heart cause she was basically racist towards all men you take that same trait for years and years growing up mistreating woman In all different areas manipulation kind artist anything bad you can name it when you realized the damaged you caused yourself as in you feeling empty on the inside not saying some of these woman were innocent cause they dogged me to we were using each other back to what I was saying since 2020 I been trying to change ways we didn't last the 1st time got back together the 2nd I tried to correct my mistakes from after the 1st breakup gave her emotional stability held her at night through her nightmares anything good you name it I did it my sister put me up on game of how to treat a woman the good and the bad and that's what I tried to do with my the 2nd time and it wasn't good enough I invested a lot In her and I can't get none of my time back I stuck my neck out for no kids neither is do but were suppose to build a family get married had good dreams but she is broken I understand when someone feels like they don't deserve to be in your life cause there not worthy they just tell you in different ways people deal with pain differently if you did what I did for her you will feel the same way maybe this is my bad karmic relationship from all the bad shit I did to woman in my past but I tried to correct that after we broken up the 1st pay all that bad karma back but I can be replaced cause the new me is a 1 of a kind and God will bless me with a real black 👑 who will stick with me through the good and bad and I will for her to
I'm not going to mistreat people ever again cause this pain I'm going through I'm going to heal and get back into the 🌎 and help people overcome what I went through
Listen guy she’s never coming back especially if she tried to friendzoned you I’ve been blocked for two weeks now and I even I resign my job because of her.. just move on she probably fuqing some other dude as we speak
I kept ignoring their happy birthday, mwrry Christmas message then months after "i just wanted to say hi and i just miss talking to you." I took a few days to respond and said hi___ , i miss you too. He responded to say awwwe i miss you sooo much. I never responded because i am trying to heal and not fall back into what happened before. I am in complete lockdown mode with my heart against him. If he never man up and reach out properly instead of breadcrumbing me i am not responding to him again and ill be fine with it. Peace of mind over all things. Ill live, God would provide.
I had my 1 on 1 with Coach yesterday and listen to this man. He knows what he is talking about. Clear concise and very honest. Been in no contact a few weeks now and she has been breadcrumbing me and hard to not respond and not react to her post. But I feel no contact will help I feel it will work but you gotta stay strong.
One week of NC and he blocked me on fb. It's funny because he was the one who suggested we stay friends and blocking e/o on social media is childish and not needed.
Listen, my ex and I was madly in love, I thought we was until I told her about herself respectful, the next I knew she block me from social media, texts, and phone calls. I never heard from her again now what’s so wrong about this I was worried something happen to her and she move on with her life and never said anything to me just ghost me. So people you gotta be careful who you love!!
I love this advice! I listen only to this guy and Kels Coaching on here, as they are so knowledgeable - They have literally got me through my heartbreak :)
Been about half a month since I started no contact after she tried to keep me in her back pocket as a friend. And she’s starting to post stuff in her chat like: “my ex would never allow me to wear this” despite me having blocked her.
This the 2nd time. And she will come back begging, unless she knows I ain’t taking her back, I gave her an ultimatum that if she did this again, I was gone. I hope her the best. Already talking to 4 other women.
The only connection was chemistry and sexual attraction. The new girl sneaked in and got his emotional connection. Destroyed everything that was unique and special in our situation…😢
What if the person put you into the position where you had no choice. ? Some people take advantage of good people and get mad when you leave. Then try to punish you with no contact bc they are mad that you left after they treated you badly.?
I wish I had the heart to leave my ex cause I was thinking about it through out our relationship especially when shit was going down hill seeing repeating patterns of her manipulating ways it would have hurt her more cause I was true blessing in her life then she was in to my life cause I treated her better I sacrifice more as well now she acting like I'm coming at her for no reason cause she playing innocent even know she made me leave she broke up with me
@@tevinpowell242 I’m so sorry to hear that you went through that. I believe that if we are good and kind and etc that even if you’re the one to leave they will miss you and will later on realize it. Do not stay in an unhealthy relationship because someone tries to manipulate you into doing so. The right woman will not use manipulation. ❤️
@@indiakxoxo I appreciate it coming from mistreating woman throughout the years realizing it wasn't right to take my misery out on all woman cause of how my I seen my mom mistreated man and how she mistreated me cause of him my sister telling me to start treating woman right and she said it feels like it was slap to her face I told her it's not your faught maybe this is my bad karmic relationship paying my bad karma back my ex she been through a lot dreams about being shot in the leg by her ex dreams about being raped again even tho I made my mistakes overall I was good to her she just took me for granted I believe noman ever gave her love like I did before so it was unreal to her it was hard for her to accept that still doesn't justify to mistreat anyone I know the game I know the truth but me mistreating woman in my past has gotten me anywhere but a broken spirit I just want to heal and have a true black queen and build a family and help save the youth own my own business be a basketball coach like coach Carter but just in my own way I'm sorry what you had to go through to playing with someones emotions is a dangerous game words true or false always hurt worse then a 👊
@@tevinpowell242 yes words can hurt more than physical sometimes. Also being treated badly by the one you fell in love with can hurt just as bad as well. I rather walk away than have the one I fell for treat me harshly. I hope you accomplish all of your dreams ! You can do it!
@@indiakxoxo thank you for your words of encouragement I pray and hope you receive your true 👑 as well whoever you desire and you accomplished your goals and dreams as well
I wish I'd watch this video when my accent. I broke up because I did all the wrong things. I. I contacted him when I shouldn't have. I should have left everything alone and I did the exact opposite
She’s keeping you on the back burner while trying to test other options. If she’s successful in finding the best option out there, you’ll be no longer needed in their life. They’ll kick you out! Do not accept friendship, stay away from her unless and until she wants to see you and talk about it. I hope she’s not seeing anyone else but in most of the cases, they atleast start talking to some other guy to avoid missing you
@nikhilavhad4284 I am over the whole break-up. She is definitely seeing someone probably not the rebound guy but I’ve not kept up or cared about her personal life. A mutual friend was asking about my ex and told me once she found out who she was, that she has been seeing someone at least six months in a serious relationship. Best of luck to her as she is no longer my responsibility and I have moved on with my own life.
All perks from being in his life have been taken away, NC for 2 1/2 months. He Breadcrumbs for yrs but this last time he put out the Friends BS , no way in hell i accept that. He needs to put effort to gain anything w me. He dating trash every single time he goes silent
Mine contacted me within a month during her rebound..... Stayed with the rebound. Contacted me again 4 months into her rebound only to tell me how happy she was now and then told me she missed me and said she was sad talking to me. But.... Still with her rebound now for 5 months. They are most likely getting married.. I hope none of you ever feel the pain I've felt in 5 months. To see the person you love and wanted to marry jump from you IMMEDIATELY into another relationship within a week or so and not only that, see they are about to get engaged soon to be married is the ultimate dagger in your heart. To think they found their soulmate right after you immediately like that. Horrible feeling.
Me and my girl have dated for over a year and half. We struggle communicating and we need a break too work on ourselves and realize what we did wrong. She says she’s too emotional to make a decision of us getting back together and it needs time. She doesn’t want no contact but to be friends.This no contact will be so hard she’s my best friend my soulmate.
My ex ðumped me, two days later posted sad songs on fb and asked if we could be friends, i said i cant be friends with an ex as its not good for my feelings and mental health, not heard from her since, still miss her and saying no to friends was tough
My ex had broke it off wanted to stay friends it took a week of. NO contact and now he is here every nite and I finally meet his parents and our dogs meet it been great it was hard but worth it. We also discussed no labels. We are just us and it’s great
@@leah-7011 trust that when you don’t stand for your right an ex can take advantage of you and enjoy sleeping with you for the time being without labeling the relationship
He made 2 calls and came once. Smiling and touching me. But after that for 2 weeeks total silence. Especially considering that we live in the same building. Maybe I should've invited him in when he came? But it was late evening. 🤦♀️
Nooooo. Please don’t blame yourself! Wouldn’t have mattered. If he was supposed to keep coming back, he would have and it’s ok. He obviously took you for granted, like most men do, and then they regret it later after you’re over it. You will find someone SO much better. You’ll see.
Hey Coach Blac, I’m sure you won’t read this. But I just wanted to say.. you’ve helped me tremendously through my current situation. I’ve listened to everything you’ve said in your videos. Your vibe and attitude is very soothing to watch. My ex has started to reach out little by little, and it’s making me very happy. I’m crying right now 😢 because you’ve truly helped me through it all. Thank you for all your advice & help. Much love for you brother. ❤️🫶🏼
What about if THE text after 3 months came from his best friend but not him? Is that a check in where I'm at on his behalf? Breadcrumbing? Reading too much into it?
I eventually cut him off because I was trying so hard all the time and realized that I was the only one that was trying and I haven't heard from him since
To all you guys and gals out there! Watch for red light flags when dating someone. When I tell you things that make you believe that they are relationship material when actually they don't want that at all they may say things did not follow through. That's a big red flag and it's time to get out if you are indeed looking for a relationship. Waste your time on someone who doesn't want the outcome that you do. Develop to all of you in the dating world😉😎❤️
What if there is no contact and kids are involved. Does he not care at all about kids or you? He's in a new relationship n doesn't even reach out concerning children
I woke up to a message from my ex stating she didn’t like me as much as she thought she would. From that point on I stopped all contact and moved on. This past weekend she and her bf were camping in the general area that my friends and I were camping at also. At one point she walked to my campsite by herself, her intentions weren’t known but it was awkward. Then later that night at the huge bonfire we put on, she was there with her bf all dressed up. Everywhere I was, she was looking. A couple times already she has tried to remain friends with myself, but politely turn her efforts down. Needless too say, no contact works in striking ways.
Whatnif you were together for 21 years been broken up for 4 months. He diesnt have another gf but he does live with somene he has feelings for.....i moved across the st just so i can save money.....we talk still almost everyday...but honestly all he talks about is her when she treats him just like an option and she tolds him she just wants to be friends.....shes very jealous of me cause she tells him she like him but doesnt want to cross the friendship line which that was already crossed.....i think shes just using him but thinking about doing no contact so i can work on me better and ket him do him.... if its meant to be it will be
Yeah that's what coach was talking about he shouldn't have access to you you need space to give him time to miss you he's getting his karma to because the lady he chose does not want him so now he's running back to you for comfort you need to do no contact so he can miss you and come back to you for good😊
I want my ex back. We started as friends i had been liking for five years. Even before hand on we talked then he came back and talked to me again for three months, dated a month.. its really hard to get over him when i see him every single day . He makes sexual jokes to me at times that he used to do in the past and kind of still picks on me. The worst part is i never told him i loved him.. i still do..
Dont be a pussy, either you tell him outright or else move on. Its the worse thing i been through, but after being dumped there is no space for "special" friendship, she chose like that. And relationships are made of choice always, i just wasnt the chosen
I’ve been here before because I was triggered and impatient and lashed out at times or made a bigger deal out of things than needed. I had to forgive myself for my behavior and not allow it to keep me in a place where I’m always trying to make up to spin the narrative on how he views me based off previous bad behavior and just deal with the reality of how I should had things moving forward. I think a lot of times because that bad behavior we feel misunderstood and want to make up for it and prove we can be better.
My ex has left 2xs. The 1st time i was totally confused ( didn't know about attachments) He is a DA for sure. After i learned his behavior. I decided to walk away from the breadcrumbs that went on for 18 months after. When i told him I'm done,.. this isnt what i want and before it gets where we hate eachother we need to cut eachother out of eachothers lives. He was stunned and asked to try again. I reluctantly agreed. We were together for 6 months and things were great, unfortunately his fears being a DA creeped in and he ended it again. I left with dignity ( but only after i told him to NEVER contact me again) I went silent and that was 8/2022. He's reached out 2 times and I've responded but refused to get together. Since then he stalks me on the dating apps and has reached out again. Until something significant is said i will not agree to seeing him. Who knows if he will reach out again....one never know. What i do know is i will not settle for breadcrumbs and will NEVER reach out. I feel as though he has regrets about the breakup, but its uo to him to try to fix things not me. So the point is if you stay no contact long enough for them to feel that, they will most likely reach out. I miss my ex a lot but I'm not willing to sacrifice my self respect by trying to contact him or convince him to take me back. Its low value and at the end of the day i have to love myself more❤❤
My ex added me back on Snapchat yesterday, after a month of no contact. I broke it a week ago, and now all of a sudden she adds me on Snapchat and Facebook. Does that mean she’s coming back?
We broke up after 3-4 years ago in January. I was unfaithful, have been working on my issues. Last time I saw her was 2/13/23. Longest we’ve gone without talking is about 20 days. I have reached out every month since. Last night she told me she wants to keep her space and keep things how they’ve been. Too late for NC, or does it even matter now? Im feeling like it doesn’t.
Coach I was in NC for two months and I sent an email with the certain issues I felt needed to be addressed. She replied to me cold and told me to heal and good luck that were in the past. A week later she unblocked me for a day on social media on my birthday weekend and was looking at all my stories. I replied last night to her email 9 days later saying thank you and I wish her the well. I dint over reacted and I’m going back to NC till she makes a move. We we’re together for 3 years . What do you think about this situation
Neighbor told me my ex girlfriend packed her things with her mom in the car. I was confused she left out the blue everything was great. She ghosted me I didn’t try reach out the day she left. She sent a text wishing me well and saying she hope I have a blessed life etc 😂. We broke like a week ago😂😂.
What if she's keeps finding a way to be around me. This morning she showed up at my door because I had her mail. I texted her about it but she didn't reply and just showed up. Then she wanted to talk.
Try to move on bro, there is still always a chance but your best bet is to try and get in the mindset of my life is going to go on regardless rather she comes back or not , better yourself. I’m only a week in but I know how much Im already struggling with this and this mental fighting worrying and anticipation like it’s killing me. I can’t put all my energy into other things like I would like too cause it’s so stuck on her. So I know I have to fully let go soon , I can’t take this much longer I can’t imagine 7 month of this. Just let her go bro
She saw my brother at the airport and she apologized to my brother about us and my brother asked her if shes ok and to my brothers point of view she was sad and didn't answer his question.
They haven’t reached out in 3 months nor I them, but I caught him staring at me a few weeks ago, and he tried to say hey to me on the sidewalk last week when I passed him. Is that a start?
I’ve been in no contact for almost 3 weeks I’m his first love his first girlfriend and we were together almost 24/7 for three years which I think ruined our relationship he cheated on me and got in a rebound relationship with her he met her at a party and was out the door he asks his mom if he should call me or take me to lunch I have him blocked on everything we worked at Amazon so he got into our work app and sent me a shout out I started the no contact bc he told me if I don’t stop texting to him I won’t get used to not talking to him and I said okay no problem and now he is trying to reach out but can’t but still with this girl
Coach, I'm doing no contact for 3 weeks, she keep on chatting me how mad she is and some stuff pertaining to our son like "you have to get our son here from our house no one will take care oh him I'm at work". I never reply, never talk to her, never post anything about her or about the break up. Then after that she never chat me anymore it's been 11 days since her last chat, and to me it's okay, I want to move on. But I posted pictures of mine and my son on Facebook once a week. Just a picture of our son and me nothing more. I didn't post anything aside of that. Am I doing the right thing coach?
What is your point of you when I could not go no contact I want after my boyfriend broke up with me. And I behaved unreasonable for a specific period of time after the break up… after he said that I need to stop I took the no contact rule. So my question is what do you think about such cases and the likelihood of coming back?
my ex-boyfriend don't believe me because he think I'm cheating on him I want to know when you cheat on somebody for having sex and love somebody that's not cheating right 😢💔
I was seeing him for about 5 months he’s 74 & I’m 65 I do care for him but it was one sided only on Mondays I would stay with him for 5 hours I felt like his mistress I wanted more I wanted him to be more into me we would talk in the morning & the evening , I asked from the beginning if he was talking to other women I would let him go I don’t want any drama & I don’t want to be the other woman I did that when I was younger & I cut it off he said yes & told him i can’t see you anymore & I confessed how I felt only seeing on Mondays I felt like your Mistress & i can’t do that anymore I wanted you to want me for u to tell u wanted a relationship he never said anything & I told good luck he bought me a gift for my birthday I sent it back & I left some clothes there I told him to burn it I’m to old to play games that’s why I don’t date that much because I’ve hurt & the scars are still the my last relationship was my husband of 30 years he died over a year ago & this guy is a widower like me but I’m not doing the dating scene anymore, & I told him not to call me but why does pass by where I live I don’t go & pass by his house & drive by
Me and my ex been together for 20 something years then we ended up getting married was only married for 8 years, it have been five years we have been apart now just recently he reached out to me we spent time together but he then lead me on then told me he did not want a relationship with me he told me he just got out of one he then told me to fall back and let things fall how they fall he told me he wanted no relationship with no one. well we were together again having a great time with our kids and grandson I then pulled up to his house wanting my clothes he was with another women he told me i could not get my stuff until he came back i was really hurt but i did not react. So i texted him and told him i could not do this anymore i agreed to sleep with him and only him but i can't i still love him. Will he come back or try to make and attempt
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Any tips for us who has kids with the ex? No contact isn’t possible for that situation
@@candicemay limit the contact just base it on the kids only
Been in no contact for 9 months he never reached out. Slowly understanding that he will not reach out due to his avoidant attachment. Was together for three years. Seems like I didn’t matter. Hope we all heal from the pain we’re going through. Lots of love ❤
Mines was stubborn and never reached out also it hurts but im better now and it does feel like I never mattered
@@brandone4446 thank you for your kind and beautiful words of encouragement!
I’m sorry you are hurting. He may never reach out but you have to learn to be okay with that. Things happen for a reason so if he doesn’t see how amazing your are someone else will. The longer it’s been the better you heal.
Why are you waiting on him? If you want him, you need to do your part. Dont throw it away because you are stubborn
Avoidant, or have someone that they will not reveal to you. Matter of perspective friend.
They want access to you and the benefits with NO commitment!! Cut them ninjas OFF !!
My ex and I speak often. She initiates communication as well. And she said " She hopes we're not over for good. But that entirely depends on us " We initially broke up in December and it's been up and down since. However, she's finally seeing that I've evolved and my only focus at the moment is what I call L&R which is love and respect. She noticed that I can not only stay away. But be loving and respectful when we do interact. It's difficult not being attached to the outcome when it's someone you love. But this is all I have left that I haven't tried and it seems to be working. I tried ignoring her and it infuriated her because that doesn't fit my situation. As long as she still has feelings for me that's all the encouragement I need. I'm actually beginning to appreciate the breakup. I feel we'll be so much better together now. Meanwhile I'm growing as a man and adding value to myself overall.
This is my situation also! Its ups and downs. I try to initiate no contact and she ends up contacting within a couple of days. I dont ignore her because like you said I can still be loving and respectful if she reaches out. Shes also been very respectful with this so im just reciprocating it back. Im currently doing non contact again but atleast we agreed that we both want to fix this and we just need some days to gather our thoughts on tje situation and talk about it
Loved reading that. Thank you so much for sharing
Girl I like, likes me too but her dad passed away in February and she got out of an abusive relationship 4 months before that. Told me from the beginning that she wants friendship, and doesnt want to date now which I respected. I grew feelings for her, and she grew feelings for me. Only a few weeks ago she finally got to burry her dad. And one day I checked on her to see how she was doing . She thought I was being needy in that moment, because my dumbass told her she was being short in her messages which I regret saying. I legit wanted to know how her day was. But since then about 2 weeks ago, she brings that moment up and says I was needy and she thinks I will be that way again. Which I’m not and I wont, wish she’d see that she created that scenario in her head. Her ex was needy and controlling / abusive and I feel like she might think I will end in that route. I’m not her ex, she told me she wants friendship again and isnt ready for a relationship or wanting one atm. Which was what she said from the beginning , yet she messages me everyday still, goodmorning , goodnight texts, how was my day, weekend, crack jokes, let me know when she made it home etc. I never once had a bad gut feeling about her , I had that bad feeling about my exes though and of course it ended. With her I dont feel that bad feeling. I see a future, I get happy hearing from her , always have good things to say. I do hope in time, she will see we are actually good for eachother. Been watching these videos to try and understand what to do, what it all means etc. Came across some stuff that sounded bad because the situation I explained is way different, especially dealing with a loss in the family. So I get that anxiety feeling in my stomach , worrying. But it passes , and I start to think that I do see a future and that she wont always feel this way
@@NeilWeaselboots The best thing you can do is stay away. It's VERY HARD but it's necessary. After a while you'll get the hang of it. Adding pressure is only going to delay the outcome. When you do speak , keep it respectful and brief.
@@mrkeitt will try to, she's been messaging a lot this morning, but I want to keep it brief and see where it goes
First month into the break-up I was devastated, I couldn't eat, sleep, I went crazy.
After a month, 2 weeks no contact, I am so peaceful, I am thinking, why we didn't break up earlier.
I am not concerned anymore if he loves me, or contacts me, or comes to my place.
Now it is silence and it is so calming.
I'M EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE AT.
Update, in August after two months of silence he contacted me.
We are together since 6 weeks, we were talking for hours, now it is much better, everything.
@@gabriellanagy4673how long were you together before the breakup?
Glad it's worked out. 4 months NC here
I finally stopped caring about my ex and the whole circus, at this point i just come to listen to how you talk to us. lol ❤ youre sweet!!!
I’m definitely going through this right now but i can’t take my ex back after all she’s done regardless of us sharing a child
No contact and to ensure -no run ins I moved to a different state. Once we are done ,it’s done. It’s been 4 years and I’m so relieved, I don’t have to worry about the lies, breadcrumbs etc……
I wouldn't even be excited.. at all.. I realized my ex acts just like their ex.. and all I'll ever get is the same mess because that person never took time to heal and jump from relationship to relationship within secs.. so there's nothing amazing when someone misses you or thinking about you when they lack accountability and don't even realize the things they hate about their previous ex.. they turned into..
I can definitely relate cause my ex you to tell me all the time I remind her of her exes similarities but at that time I'm proving that I'm loyal to her through the good and bad we will get through this together tried to correct my mistakes from the 1st time I can leave temporary she will tell me I can't leave but if it was viceversa she'll make a scene and make it seem like I'm a monster red flags of her exes she was the real control freak we been broken up 4 months she already is in another relationship with someone In prision knowing she been down that road before and she was being used but I seen this dude comment on her Facebook so they been talking no telling when tho that's the best you can do the best version of yourself and I'm not saying someone in prison can't be someone true soulmate in this case without her healing it's not going to happen you couldn't do time with me out here when I was great to you how you going to be fully committed to someone on the inside and then think God is going to have paradise waiting for you with him or any other man good karma dosent work that way we both were suppose to be healing and 2 months after we broke up she was already in another relationship she hasn't healed or even trying to heal cause she can't handle being alone she will regret loosing out on me Im not the easiest person to get along with but neither was she I was there good and bad days I applaud myself cause I came along way from mistreating woman I felt like I owed woman especially the black woman
Hurts she is in another relationship but what's makes it worse is she was making up excuses why she doesn't contact me when it was cause she was in a new relationship when she could have been honest I wouldn't have liked it but I would of respected it cause deep down sometimes it's hard to tell someone the truth but why I have to find out on Facebook smh
@@tevinpowell242what is your excuse for hanging out for a woman Who wants another Man? Got any Kid's?
@@christoffervik9997 when you come from a life like mine when your mom is the 1st one who broke your heart cause she was basically racist towards all men you take that same trait for years and years growing up mistreating woman In all different areas manipulation kind artist anything bad you can name it when you realized the damaged you caused yourself as in you feeling empty on the inside not saying some of these woman were innocent cause they dogged me to we were using each other back to what I was saying since 2020 I been trying to change ways we didn't last the 1st time got back together the 2nd I tried to correct my mistakes from after the 1st breakup gave her emotional stability held her at night through her nightmares anything good you name it I did it my sister put me up on game of how to treat a woman the good and the bad and that's what I tried to do with my the 2nd time and it wasn't good enough I invested a lot In her and I can't get none of my time back I stuck my neck out for no kids neither is do but were suppose to build a family get married had good dreams but she is broken I understand when someone feels like they don't deserve to be in your life cause there not worthy they just tell you in different ways people deal with pain differently if you did what I did for her you will feel the same way maybe this is my bad karmic relationship from all the bad shit I did to woman in my past but I tried to correct that after we broken up the 1st pay all that bad karma back but I can be replaced cause the new me is a 1 of a kind and God will bless me with a real black 👑 who will stick with me through the good and bad and I will for her to
I'm not going to mistreat people ever again cause this pain I'm going through I'm going to heal and get back into the 🌎 and help people overcome what I went through
Listen guy she’s never coming back especially if she tried to friendzoned you I’ve been blocked for two weeks now and I even I resign my job because of her.. just move on she probably fuqing some other dude as we speak
She broke up with me. Been in no contact for 1 month. Havnt heard from her, she seems really happy without me. Very heartbroken
Someone will come and love you. You are valuable.
I kept ignoring their happy birthday, mwrry Christmas message then months after "i just wanted to say hi and i just miss talking to you." I took a few days to respond and said hi___ , i miss you too. He responded to say awwwe i miss you sooo much. I never responded because i am trying to heal and not fall back into what happened before. I am in complete lockdown mode with my heart against him. If he never man up and reach out properly instead of breadcrumbing me i am not responding to him again and ill be fine with it.
Peace of mind over all things. Ill live, God would provide.
I appreciate your not cussing (I DESPISE bad language), and I appreciate your good advice.
I had my 1 on 1 with Coach yesterday and listen to this man. He knows what he is talking about. Clear concise and very honest.
Been in no contact a few weeks now and she has been breadcrumbing me and hard to not respond and not react to her post.
But I feel no contact will help I feel it will work but you gotta stay strong.
Update?
I like your honesty. You help me understand a lot about myself
My ex,? She makes this video HARD to believe
One week of NC and he blocked me on fb. It's funny because he was the one who suggested we stay friends and blocking e/o on social media is childish and not needed.
Listen, my ex and I was madly in love, I thought we was until I told her about herself respectful, the next I knew she block me from social media, texts, and phone calls. I never heard from her again now what’s so wrong about this I was worried something happen to her and she move on with her life and never said anything to me just ghost me. So people you gotta be careful who you love!!
Your a relationship saver bro ❤
I love this advice! I listen only to this guy and Kels Coaching on here, as they are so knowledgeable - They have literally got me through my heartbreak :)
Been about half a month since I started no contact after she tried to keep me in her back pocket as a friend. And she’s starting to post stuff in her chat like: “my ex would never allow me to wear this” despite me having blocked her.
This the 2nd time. And she will come back begging, unless she knows I ain’t taking her back, I gave her an ultimatum that if she did this again, I was gone. I hope her the best. Already talking to 4 other women.
You really talk sense ...Stay blessed
The only connection was chemistry and sexual attraction. The new girl sneaked in and got his emotional connection. Destroyed everything that was unique and special in our situation…😢
You're better off.
Exes always hv feelings
What if the person put you into the position where you had no choice. ? Some people take advantage of good people and get mad when you leave. Then try to punish you with no contact bc they are mad that you left after they treated you badly.?
I wish I had the heart to leave my ex cause I was thinking about it through out our relationship especially when shit was going down hill seeing repeating patterns of her manipulating ways it would have hurt her more cause I was true blessing in her life then she was in to my life cause I treated her better I sacrifice more as well now she acting like I'm coming at her for no reason cause she playing innocent even know she made me leave she broke up with me
@@tevinpowell242 I’m so sorry to hear that you went through that. I believe that if we are good and kind and etc that even if you’re the one to leave they will miss you and will later on realize it. Do not stay in an unhealthy relationship because someone tries to manipulate you into doing so. The right woman will not use manipulation. ❤️
@@indiakxoxo I appreciate it coming from mistreating woman throughout the years realizing it wasn't right to take my misery out on all woman cause of how my I seen my mom mistreated man and how she mistreated me cause of him my sister telling me to start treating woman right and she said it feels like it was slap to her face I told her it's not your faught maybe this is my bad karmic relationship paying my bad karma back my ex she been through a lot dreams about being shot in the leg by her ex dreams about being raped again even tho I made my mistakes overall I was good to her she just took me for granted I believe noman ever gave her love like I did before so it was unreal to her it was hard for her to accept that still doesn't justify to mistreat anyone I know the game I know the truth but me mistreating woman in my past has gotten me anywhere but a broken spirit I just want to heal and have a true black queen and build a family and help save the youth own my own business be a basketball coach like coach Carter but just in my own way I'm sorry what you had to go through to playing with someones emotions is a dangerous game words true or false always hurt worse then a 👊
@@tevinpowell242 yes words can hurt more than physical sometimes. Also being treated badly by the one you fell in love with can hurt just as bad as well. I rather walk away than have the one I fell for treat me harshly. I hope you accomplish all of your dreams ! You can do it!
@@indiakxoxo thank you for your words of encouragement I pray and hope you receive your true 👑 as well whoever you desire and you accomplished your goals and dreams as well
If they dumbed you and also blocked you, where is the Value from yourself? No contact is useless.
I wish I'd watch this video when my accent. I broke up because I did all the wrong things. I. I contacted him when I shouldn't have. I should have left everything alone and I did the exact opposite
I appreciate everything you have said I wish I'd seen this earlier. I would have done things so differently
What if they are seeing someone else yet sending you breadcrumbs. Just been working on myself but it hurts to think she has moved on fully.
She’s keeping you on the back burner while trying to test other options. If she’s successful in finding the best option out there, you’ll be no longer needed in their life. They’ll kick you out! Do not accept friendship, stay away from her unless and until she wants to see you and talk about it. I hope she’s not seeing anyone else but in most of the cases, they atleast start talking to some other guy to avoid missing you
@nikhilavhad4284 I am over the whole break-up. She is definitely seeing someone probably not the rebound guy but I’ve not kept up or cared about her personal life. A mutual friend was asking about my ex and told me once she found out who she was, that she has been seeing someone at least six months in a serious relationship. Best of luck to her as she is no longer my responsibility and I have moved on with my own life.
My ex has NPD... don't think a lot of this advice is applicable to people with B type personality traits...
My ex contacted me 4 days into no contact with a question "Did you find a new girlfriend already?"💀
Thats good!
@@ApostleThe344 Same here. I don't know what to do now.
There are circumstances where they must communicate with you: ie: we have small children
Brilliant. PERFECT. Your best video so far.
All perks from being in his life have been taken away, NC for 2 1/2 months. He Breadcrumbs for yrs but this last time he put out the Friends BS , no way in hell i accept that. He needs to put effort to gain anything w me. He dating trash every single time he goes silent
Mine contacted me within a month during her rebound..... Stayed with the rebound. Contacted me again 4 months into her rebound only to tell me how happy she was now and then told me she missed me and said she was sad talking to me. But.... Still with her rebound now for 5 months. They are most likely getting married.. I hope none of you ever feel the pain I've felt in 5 months. To see the person you love and wanted to marry jump from you IMMEDIATELY into another relationship within a week or so and not only that, see they are about to get engaged soon to be married is the ultimate dagger in your heart. To think they found their soulmate right after you immediately like that. Horrible feeling.
I was going on 2 months no contact & got blocked on everything 😪
Thank you I appreciate that.❤
Me and my girl have dated for over a year and half. We struggle communicating and we need a break too work on ourselves and realize what we did wrong. She says she’s too emotional to make a decision of us getting back together and it needs time. She doesn’t want no contact but to be friends.This no contact will be so hard she’s my best friend my soulmate.
I'm with you. I'm in a very similar situation.
Oh well mine not coming back 😂😂😂
Thank you always coach black ❤
My ex ðumped me, two days later posted sad songs on fb and asked if we could be friends, i said i cant be friends with an ex as its not good for my feelings and mental health, not heard from her since, still miss her and saying no to friends was tough
My ex had broke it off wanted to stay friends it took a week of. NO contact and now he is here every nite and I finally meet his parents and our dogs meet it been great it was hard but worth it. We also discussed no labels. We are just us and it’s great
If no label you’re taking a risk
@@benithacalloway8286 there's never a guarantee either way. and if the label feels like pressure to a partner, they're more likely to want to run.
@@leah-7011 trust that when you don’t stand for your right an ex can take advantage of you and enjoy sleeping with you for the time being without labeling the relationship
Your voice thought.👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
He made 2 calls and came once. Smiling and touching me. But after that for 2 weeeks total silence. Especially considering that we live in the same building. Maybe I should've invited him in when he came? But it was late evening.
🤦♀️
Nooooo. Please don’t blame yourself! Wouldn’t have mattered. If he was supposed to keep coming back, he would have and it’s ok. He obviously took you for granted, like most men do, and then they regret it later after you’re over it. You will find someone SO much better. You’ll see.
@@barb6868 I love that man. And see us together. I really don't want anyone else
Any update?🙌
I want my ex back. She's starting to make contact with me. Several days in a row. What do I do now?....lol
Try to make things work.
Hey Coach Blac, I’m sure you won’t read this. But I just wanted to say.. you’ve helped me tremendously through my current situation.
I’ve listened to everything you’ve said in your videos.
Your vibe and attitude is very soothing to watch.
My ex has started to reach out little by little, and it’s making me very happy.
I’m crying right now 😢 because you’ve truly helped me through it all. Thank you for all your advice & help. Much love for you brother. ❤️🫶🏼
I’m ok with mine not coming back.. I brought substance into his..
What about if THE text after 3 months came from his best friend but not him? Is that a check in where I'm at on his behalf? Breadcrumbing? Reading too much into it?
Wonderful Coach 👏👏👏👏👏🤗😘
I eventually cut him off because I was trying so hard all the time and realized that I was the only one that was trying and I haven't heard from him since
To all you guys and gals out there! Watch for red light flags when dating someone.
When I tell you things that make you believe that they are relationship material when actually they don't want that at all they may say things did not follow through. That's a big red flag and it's time to get out if you are indeed looking for a relationship.
Waste your time on someone who doesn't want the outcome that you do.
Develop to all of you in the dating world😉😎❤️
Sorry I meant don't waste your time
I haven’t been able to get through a significant amount of time in NC because he always reaches out after a few days. Idk if that’s good or bad.
Bad
I needed that!
He blocked me , I want him to unblock me and come back
What if there is no contact and kids are involved. Does he not care at all about kids or you? He's in a new relationship n doesn't even reach out concerning children
I woke up to a message from my ex stating she didn’t like me as much as she thought she would. From that point on I stopped all contact and moved on.
This past weekend she and her bf were camping in the general area that my friends and I were camping at also.
At one point she walked to my campsite by herself, her intentions weren’t known but it was awkward. Then later that night at the huge bonfire we put on, she was there with her bf all dressed up. Everywhere I was, she was looking.
A couple times already she has tried to remain friends with myself, but politely turn her efforts down. Needless too say, no contact works in striking ways.
Whatnif you were together for 21 years been broken up for 4 months. He diesnt have another gf but he does live with somene he has feelings for.....i moved across the st just so i can save money.....we talk still almost everyday...but honestly all he talks about is her when she treats him just like an option and she tolds him she just wants to be friends.....shes very jealous of me cause she tells him she like him but doesnt want to cross the friendship line which that was already crossed.....i think shes just using him but thinking about doing no contact so i can work on me better and ket him do him.... if its meant to be it will be
Yeah that's what coach was talking about he shouldn't have access to you you need space to give him time to miss you he's getting his karma to because the lady he chose does not want him so now he's running back to you for comfort you need to do no contact so he can miss you and come back to you for good😊
I want my ex back. We started as friends i had been liking for five years. Even before hand on we talked then he came back and talked to me again for three months, dated a month.. its really hard to get over him when i see him every single day . He makes sexual jokes to me at times that he used to do in the past and kind of still picks on me. The worst part is i never told him i loved him.. i still do..
Dont be a pussy, either you tell him outright or else move on.
Its the worse thing i been through, but after being dumped there is no space for "special" friendship, she chose like that. And relationships are made of choice always, i just wasnt the chosen
What if I’m the one who made the mistakes and was being hateful? I always feel responsible to be more attentive when she reaches out
Then don’t
I’ve been here before because I was triggered and impatient and lashed out at times or made a bigger deal out of things than needed. I had to forgive myself for my behavior and not allow it to keep me in a place where I’m always trying to make up to spin the narrative on how he views me based off previous bad behavior and just deal with the reality of how I should had things moving forward. I think a lot of times because that bad behavior we feel misunderstood and want to make up for it and prove we can be better.
My ex has left 2xs. The 1st time i was totally confused ( didn't know about attachments) He is a DA for sure. After i learned his behavior. I decided to walk away from the breadcrumbs that went on for 18 months after. When i told him I'm done,.. this isnt what i want and before it gets where we hate eachother we need to cut eachother out of eachothers lives. He was stunned and asked to try again. I reluctantly agreed. We were together for 6 months and things were great, unfortunately his fears being a DA creeped in and he ended it again. I left with dignity ( but only after i told him to NEVER contact me again) I went silent and that was 8/2022. He's reached out 2 times and I've responded but refused to get together. Since then he stalks me on the dating apps and has reached out again. Until something significant is said i will not agree to seeing him. Who knows if he will reach out again....one never know. What i do know is i will not settle for breadcrumbs and will NEVER reach out. I feel as though he has regrets about the breakup, but its uo to him to try to fix things not me. So the point is if you stay no contact long enough for them to feel that, they will most likely reach out. I miss my ex a lot but I'm not willing to sacrifice my self respect by trying to contact him or convince him to take me back. Its low value and at the end of the day i have to love myself more❤❤
My ex added me back on Snapchat yesterday, after a month of no contact. I broke it a week ago, and now all of a sudden she adds me on Snapchat and Facebook. Does that mean she’s coming back?
I keep breaking no contact think I have done it a million times…can it still work after so much damage?
Yesssss just go cold turkey no contact for months and months… no matter how long. Choose yourself,love yourself, use this time prioritize yourself
We broke up after 3-4 years ago in January. I was unfaithful, have been working on my issues. Last time I saw her was 2/13/23. Longest we’ve gone without talking is about 20 days. I have reached out every month since. Last night she told me she wants to keep her space and keep things how they’ve been. Too late for NC, or does it even matter now? Im feeling like it doesn’t.
What if they are still talking to you
What about if you married but separated?
At least you’re not divorced so there’s still hope.
Coach I was in NC for two months and I sent an email with the certain issues I felt needed to be addressed. She replied to me cold and told me to heal and good luck that were in the past. A week later she unblocked me for a day on social media on my birthday weekend and was looking at all my stories. I replied last night to her email 9 days later saying thank you and I wish her the well. I dint over reacted and I’m going back to NC till she makes a move. We we’re together for 3 years . What do you think about this situation
If no contact after 4 months of begging and pleasing too late?
Hi coachy 💓
Do these same rules apply if as a guy you’re the one who does the dumping of the female?
What if she unblocks and contacts you after a week wanting to be friends… we broke up over an argument that got out of hand
Well my brake up happened over because my kids not he's was a lil bad he said but telling he's family different
Neighbor told me my ex girlfriend packed her things with her mom in the car. I was confused she left out the blue everything was great. She ghosted me I didn’t try reach out the day she left. She sent a text wishing me well and saying she hope I have a blessed life etc 😂. We broke like a week ago😂😂.
Thanks!
What if she's keeps finding a way to be around me. This morning she showed up at my door because I had her mail. I texted her about it but she didn't reply and just showed up. Then she wanted to talk.
she got a whole manz and still checking up on me what does that mean Coach😂
jUST WHAT i NEEDED TO HEAR! tHANK yOU
Currently 7 months in no contact, unfriended on snapchat, no response from her
Try to move on bro, there is still always a chance but your best bet is to try and get in the mindset of my life is going to go on regardless rather she comes back or not , better yourself. I’m only a week in but I know how much Im already struggling with this and this mental fighting worrying and anticipation like it’s killing me. I can’t put all my energy into other things like I would like too cause it’s so stuck on her. So I know I have to fully let go soon , I can’t take this much longer I can’t imagine 7 month of this. Just let her go bro
@@kevenrowe2958 yup, i got mind fucked, im scared of approaching girls now because i know it will just end in shits and girls will leave me
Third Comment: does this count if your partner had found somebody else?
I'm in a similar situation but I've learnt to limit how we talk
Thank you that’s understandable
She saw my brother at the airport and she apologized to my brother about us and my brother asked her if shes ok and to my brothers point of view she was sad and didn't answer his question.
They haven’t reached out in 3 months nor I them, but I caught him staring at me a few weeks ago, and he tried to say hey to me on the sidewalk last week when I passed him. Is that a start?
we are in contact.
I like your videos. But I feel as if you speaking from the " dumpie" standpoint. What if I dumped my ex??
Then u need 2 contact and fix things
I’ve been in no contact for almost 3 weeks I’m his first love his first girlfriend and we were together almost 24/7 for three years which I think ruined our relationship he cheated on me and got in a rebound relationship with her he met her at a party and was out the door he asks his mom if he should call me or take me to lunch I have him blocked on everything we worked at Amazon so he got into our work app and sent me a shout out I started the no contact bc he told me if I don’t stop texting to him I won’t get used to not talking to him and I said okay no problem and now he is trying to reach out but can’t but still with this girl
Coach, I'm doing no contact for 3 weeks, she keep on chatting me how mad she is and some stuff pertaining to our son like "you have to get our son here from our house no one will take care oh him I'm at work". I never reply, never talk to her, never post anything about her or about the break up. Then after that she never chat me anymore it's been 11 days since her last chat, and to me it's okay, I want to move on. But I posted pictures of mine and my son on Facebook once a week. Just a picture of our son and me nothing more. I didn't post anything aside of that. Am I doing the right thing coach?
What if they say this miss you etc but also tell you they’ve been on a couple of dates but nothing serious?
Thanks
What when you got a child together?
What is your point of you when I could not go no contact I want after my boyfriend broke up with me. And I behaved unreasonable for a specific period of time after the break up… after he said that I need to stop I took the no contact rule. So my question is what do you think about such cases and the likelihood of coming back?
How does kids change this?
my ex-boyfriend don't believe me because he think I'm cheating on him I want to know when you cheat on somebody for having sex and love somebody that's not cheating right 😢💔
How long should no contact last with a fearful avoidant and will they reach out or should I do that after a certain amount of time?
They always reach out because they’re not use to you not chasing them .
7months NC and how he want me bk if he’s not even attractive to them ?
I was seeing him for about 5 months he’s 74 & I’m 65 I do care for him but it was one sided only on Mondays I would stay with him for 5 hours I felt like his mistress I wanted more I wanted him to be more into me we would talk in the morning & the evening , I asked from the beginning if he was talking to other women I would let him go I don’t want any drama & I don’t want to be the other woman I did that when I was younger & I cut it off he said yes & told him i can’t see you anymore & I confessed how I felt only seeing on Mondays I felt like your Mistress & i can’t do that anymore I wanted you to want me for u to tell u wanted a relationship he never said anything & I told good luck he bought me a gift for my birthday I sent it back & I left some clothes there I told him to burn it I’m to old to play games that’s why I don’t date that much because I’ve hurt & the scars are still the my last relationship was my husband of 30 years he died over a year ago & this guy is a widower like me but I’m not doing the dating scene anymore, & I told him not to call me but why does pass by where I live I don’t go & pass by his house & drive by
Your calmness are you married
How to no contact when you live together and have children???????
Thank you for this. Do I ignore the text 2 1/2 months after he stopped talking to me?
what is it mean when i reached out after no contact, my ex said he miss me too, but need time to talk about the break up and being back together.
Me and my ex been together for 20 something years then we ended up getting married was only married for 8 years, it have been five years we have been apart now just recently he reached out to me we spent time together but he then lead me on then told me he did not want a relationship with me he told me he just got out of one he then told me to fall back and let things fall how they fall he told me he wanted no relationship with no one. well we were together again having a great time with our kids and grandson I then pulled up to his house wanting my clothes he was with another women he told me i could not get my stuff until he came back i was really hurt but i did not react. So i texted him and told him i could not do this anymore i agreed to sleep with him and only him but i can't i still love him. Will he come back or try to make and attempt
You are such an awesome coach but u look too much like my ex😢😅
What if shes not really an ex coz she didnt consider us dating in the first place . To her it was jus 2 years of passing time