Relationships are based on communication. If you struggle with that then your relationship is bound to fail. Make effective communication a top priority in your life.
This is so true because i stepped out of my feminine role due to anxious attachment and began overgiving and pursuing him. It left no space or time for him to pursue or miss me. A masculine man wants to earn and pursue a feminine woman who carries herself like a prize.
@@vladsciencedrums women and men are not the same especially their roles in romantic relationships. The woman does the choosing among suitors who are courting her for marriage if she is dating to marry. Masculine men don't want to be romanced and courted lol unless he's gay then he should get a boyfriend.
@@basicinfo2022Naw, men lead the initial courtship activities, then once she has feels for him, it needs to shift and she needs to do 80% of the reaching out. Otherwise she is going to lose interest and attraction.
2:40 polarity (balanced traditional gender roles in romantic relationships) Masculine role (man) - proposing, leading, courting, giving, pursuing, professing his love Feminine role (woman) - attracting, receiving, choosing suitor, acts like the prize, nurturing, beauty, seductive
Been watching a ton of your videos and this is a very new and fresh perspective. I believe you are right with this as I see now the mistakes I’ve made. Definitely wasn’t leaning into my masculine energy as much as I should have. This is another thing I will be working on for myself during no contact
Thank you Coach Blak I got too comfortable and stopped leading with my masculinity. Also I was so deep in love I was blind to realize the girl I loved so much was abusive and damaged already.
Glad to hear. That must mean NC worked for you because you moved on and don’t hold him a pedestal anymore. I think you should give him another chance if he goes above and beyond on effort to having you back though!
Work on it. But be honest about things. It's time we as people 🛑 playing emotional games & mind games. Feelings change they will always change. What should be most important is we build together & stay out of the bitter echo chambers & stay away from pillow talk males. Relationships are hard work but time has already told us & showed it's worth working on
THANK- you! NO Contact IS the new super power/best self-respect move! Greatest content on you tube/Your channel, regarding human psychology and break up dynamics!
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
It's difficult to let go of someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but I couldn't just let her go I did all I could to get her back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back.
Thank you Coach Blac for shedding light on polarity. As you suggested I researched Tony Robbins THE LAW OF POLARITY IN RELATIONSHIPS and it has given me the clarification and tools needed for a successful relationship. Your segment and Mr. Robbins’ definitely spoke to me. Thank you again. Peace and blessings.
I didn't lose feelings, he said some things that were manipulative and emotionally abusive. When I told him we should stop things, it was because I was protecting myself. I miss him a lot but he said some manipulative things. I didn't expect myself to walk away at all, I really didn't want to but I knew I had to. I don't know how to let go, I'm really struggling.
@@nova12332 he kept asking me questions about my past because he said females lie about their past. I told him what there was to know, like the worst he needed to know about me and he said it was between me and God and blah blah. But then he continued to ask. He asked me multiple times if I had been married before which I haven't?! I felt like I was walking on egg shells, I was really watching my behaviour and interactions with everyone especially men. I know how to conduct myself infront of men. He also said I was bubbly and that might be a problem. I'm not sure what he meant by that but 🤷♀️
You know what this gave hope, thank you! My ex of 3 years left me a couple of months ago and it wasn't because i said something hurtful, but she lost attraction because we are long distance. The reason why this gave me hope is i always thought that girls won't have any feelings left and will just forget about their ex but according to you, girls do still have feelings. I still love my ex and i want her back
@@leexmass of course we do! And I know normal men out there also have feelings, I just met someone who displayed unacceptable unhealthy behaviour which really impacted me but now I’ve healed from it and I can say I’m fully through it! It does take time but as long as you focus on yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever you feel and deal with it, you will be just fine!
Coach he blocked me since July and yesterday😂 text me and I had to look at the number 3xs to make sure it was him. July was a long time ago. Now he text this IS IT COLD UP THERE? 😅😅😅 we live 7 hours apart Now the table did turn and Now he's gonna have to really show me he worth my Damn time I've moved on now. Thank you for all your tips it really helped. July/ End of November that's a lo g time to be blocked.
So glad you brought that up Coach. How do you redefine sexual contact when we are reunited [hopefully] ❓ Aren’t boundaries going to be new? He is the Avoider who suddenly broke up 1 month ago on the day I returned from work trip, after telling me I was the woman he was waiting for 😞. In reflection he was pulling away weeks before. We went pretty fast and deep . I’m independent woman and feminine. He didn’t communicate any problem. 🤷♀️
Me and my ex were supposed to go to his friend’s wedding. Our trip was planned, we booked hotel and purchased flight tickets. 2 weeks after our break up he canceled our flight tickets and 3 weeks after our break up I found out that he’s going with some other girl I don’t even know. I checked his fb friends and she isn’t on there. Probably she blocked me. Do you think he was cheating on me with her?
Wow! What a jerk! You deserve so much better sis! I’m going thru a break up too. Don’t give this guy one more minute of yourself. Take your life back!!!! Save your life!!!
@@nicolasaalamilla7348 After 3 years of our relationship. He broke up with me over a text. why? I asked him to meet and talk in person, he didn’t want to. We’re now 2 months in no contact. It broke my heart how he ended our relationship. It showed me that I never meant to him anything
Been blocked by my ex for 5 months I don't think she will reach out. She said on phone there's nothing to talk about anymore iv done too much hurt etc etc
I was in this situation. She will unblock eventually either out of forgiveness or curiosity. Don’t put everything on this though. Move on and work on yourself in the meantime
@@dang9269 Same thing just happened to me, and im in an LDR. She just blocked me today after a heated situation. We'll see what happens by the end of this year. For the sake of hope and clarity for others, I'll let you guys know if she reaches out this year at all
My ex saw me on hinge and passive aggressively text me “any luck on hinge?” Mind you , she broke up with me because she wants to move back home which is out of state. So her being on hinge means that there was more to the break up than her just moving back home. Should I just ignore this passive aggressive text or do I respond? And how do I respond ?
Tell her she's getting too personal about your life and that you'll talk about anything else besides the past relationship and your current love prospects.
Hello coach Black thanks so much for your advice on breakups. Can you kindly make a video on why an ex boyfriend contacts you after six months telling you that he wants to talk to you one on one only to tell you that he's sorry and he doesn't mention anything about reconciliation and then tells you to keep in touch. Should you accept friendship from an ex? And what should you do when an ex offers you friendship
my opinion, from all these videos, if he broke up with you? If you want him back, this would be the start of him reaching out. Ofc keep your boundaries but only put as much effort as he does and I would say never do not reply but only put as much effort is they do.
He may feel guilt for how he treated you. I’ve apologised a few times when younger for not being a better person whilst with them whilst having zero interest getting back with them. If he wants you back he’ll tell you
100% same for me as above. I was compelled to apologise a year later because I felt she deserved it. It's a sign of maturity I think but I had no intentions to get back together, just felt the need to set the record straight.
The reason is her dad he manipulates her with money and says he will cut her off he if talks or gets back with me 😪 I know she wants me back but I can do nothing about it cause she listening to him even tho he don’t care about him at all 😢 It’s soo hard cause we are good together
What if the dynamic is more like Blair underwood and Jada Pickett in set it off ? Or like the strictly business vibe ? You need at least one thug in the household 🤷🏾♀️😆
Coach, my ex said "we can talk and revisit at the end of the summer to see if getting back together is an option." To your knowledge, is she using me as an option based off this statement?
Tell them to kick rocks basically. Let go and heal yourself. The fact that they said that should be beneath you. Don't make anyone put you on hold. Be with someone who wants you as you do then and knows what they want. Eventually that pain gets less over time and you get yourself back after dedicating your time and work on and in you.
10:52 - Hi Coach, thank you for thoroughly explaining these concepts. It really helps to calm my nerves, especially after being so emotional. My partner, for 3.5 years, recently relocated to a different state to be closer to and to help his aging mother. He said our relationship will never change and that we will always be together, no matter the distance. In my mind, I knew this dynamic wouldn’t work for me and I told him how I felt. He kept assuring me that it wouldn’t be like this forever and that eventually, I should move down there to be with him (within the next 4-5 years after my kids are off to college). Since he left, we’ve talked every day, multiple times a day, like there was no change. Regularly, I continued telling him that this arrangement is not working for me, as I am giving him my emotional energy and support while getting very little satisfaction in return. Anyway, it’s been 5 months since his move and my grief has grown and I had my breaking point on Mother’s Day (because he wasn’t here with me). I got angry with him and told him to move on. I haven’t heard from him since. I texted him and called him a week later after the blow-up, to see how he’s been, but he hasn’t responded. I feel like I fumbled this relationship by getting angry the way I did, even though I’m am not being gratified with physical time and affection. In this case, since I reacted harshly, should I call him again? Should I travel and go see him?
Relationships are based on communication. If you struggle with that then your relationship is bound to fail. Make effective communication a top priority in your life.
This is so true because i stepped out of my feminine role due to anxious attachment and began overgiving and pursuing him. It left no space or time for him to pursue or miss me. A masculine man wants to earn and pursue a feminine woman who carries herself like a prize.
Vice versa a woman wants to pursue a man that stands his ground and doesn’t flinch at any tests :/
@@vladsciencedrums women and men are not the same especially their roles in romantic relationships. The woman does the choosing among suitors who are courting her for marriage if she is dating to marry. Masculine men don't want to be romanced and courted lol unless he's gay then he should get a boyfriend.
I'll tell you women's masculine energy is unattractive
@@basicinfo2022Naw, men lead the initial courtship activities, then once she has feels for him, it needs to shift and she needs to do 80% of the reaching out. Otherwise she is going to lose interest and attraction.
2:40 polarity (balanced traditional gender roles in romantic relationships)
Masculine role (man) - proposing, leading, courting, giving, pursuing, professing his love
Feminine role (woman) - attracting, receiving, choosing suitor, acts like the prize, nurturing, beauty, seductive
Relationships are so difficult, in this day and age. Thankful we have Coach to help get us through.
Been watching a ton of your videos and this is a very new and fresh perspective. I believe you are right with this as I see now the mistakes I’ve made. Definitely wasn’t leaning into my masculine energy as much as I should have. This is another thing I will be working on for myself during no contact
Corey Wayne talks a lot about polarity
Thank you Coach Blak I got too comfortable and stopped leading with my masculinity. Also I was so deep in love I was blind to realize the girl I loved so much was abusive and damaged already.
I was crying for him now his back and I feel I don't want him again
What happened?! What changed?! =(
Glad to hear. That must mean NC worked for you because you moved on and don’t hold him a pedestal anymore. I think you should give him another chance if he goes above and beyond on effort to having you back though!
Work on it. But be honest about things. It's time we as people 🛑 playing emotional games & mind games. Feelings change they will always change. What should be most important is we build together & stay out of the bitter echo chambers & stay away from pillow talk males. Relationships are hard work but time has already told us & showed it's worth working on
So you want him when he doesn't want you but you don't want him when he wants you? Emotionally unavailable women sure are something. 🤣
@@starttakinnotezyou missed the whole point fr
THANK- you! NO Contact IS the new super power/best self-respect move! Greatest content on you tube/Your channel, regarding human psychology and break up dynamics!
I have to agree. Have noticed that when am in my feminine I get to get what I want from men more
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
It's difficult to let go of someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but I couldn't just let her go I did all I could to get her back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Thank you Coach Blac for shedding light on polarity. As you suggested I researched Tony Robbins THE LAW OF POLARITY IN RELATIONSHIPS and it has given me the clarification and tools needed for a successful relationship. Your segment and Mr. Robbins’ definitely spoke to me. Thank you again. Peace and blessings.
He unblocked me after 15 mo ths, 9 weeks ago, he hasn't reached out and I haven't messaged him. I've blocked him. Dont do mind games.
Great video! I will reread Intimate Communion by Davidson Data starting today ! Definitely need to restrengthen our polarity. Thank you !
I didn't lose feelings, he said some things that were manipulative and emotionally abusive. When I told him we should stop things, it was because I was protecting myself. I miss him a lot but he said some manipulative things. I didn't expect myself to walk away at all, I really didn't want to but I knew I had to. I don't know how to let go, I'm really struggling.
What did he say?
@@nova12332 he kept asking me questions about my past because he said females lie about their past. I told him what there was to know, like the worst he needed to know about me and he said it was between me and God and blah blah. But then he continued to ask. He asked me multiple times if I had been married before which I haven't?! I felt like I was walking on egg shells, I was really watching my behaviour and interactions with everyone especially men. I know how to conduct myself infront of men. He also said I was bubbly and that might be a problem. I'm not sure what he meant by that but 🤷♀️
Let him go. NC at all. You do not need a narcissist!
You know what this gave hope, thank you! My ex of 3 years left me a couple of months ago and it wasn't because i said something hurtful, but she lost attraction because we are long distance. The reason why this gave me hope is i always thought that girls won't have any feelings left and will just forget about their ex but according to you, girls do still have feelings. I still love my ex and i want her back
@@leexmass of course we do! And I know normal men out there also have feelings, I just met someone who displayed unacceptable unhealthy behaviour which really impacted me but now I’ve healed from it and I can say I’m fully through it! It does take time but as long as you focus on yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever you feel and deal with it, you will be just fine!
Hi sir,coach black, greetings from Portugal 🇵🇹
Coach he blocked me since July and yesterday😂 text me and I had to look at the number 3xs to make sure it was him. July was a long time ago. Now he text this IS IT COLD UP THERE? 😅😅😅 we live 7 hours apart Now the table did turn and Now he's gonna have to really show me he worth my Damn time I've moved on now. Thank you for all your tips it really helped. July/ End of November that's a lo g time to be blocked.
This was very helpful!! Thank you!!
Well spoken again. 🤜🤛
Coach I went 16 days and broke it and sent her a fucking email. Of course she didn’t reply.
Great content, thank you!
If you need to book a 1 on 1 coaching session, click here: calendly.com/breakupcoachtj
Hey will you pls make more vids from a female perspective, thanks
So glad you brought that up Coach. How do you redefine sexual contact when we are reunited [hopefully] ❓ Aren’t boundaries going to be new? He is the Avoider who suddenly broke up 1 month ago on the day I returned from work trip, after telling me I was the woman he was waiting for 😞. In reflection he was pulling away weeks before. We went pretty fast and deep . I’m independent woman and feminine. He didn’t communicate any problem. 🤷♀️
Me and my ex were supposed to go to his friend’s wedding. Our trip was planned, we booked hotel and purchased flight tickets. 2 weeks after our break up he canceled our flight tickets and 3 weeks after our break up I found out that he’s going with some other girl I don’t even know. I checked his fb friends and she isn’t on there. Probably she blocked me. Do you think he was cheating on me with her?
Wow! What a jerk! You deserve so much better sis! I’m going thru a break up too. Don’t give this guy one more minute of yourself. Take your life back!!!! Save your life!!!
@@nicolasaalamilla7348 After 3 years of our relationship. He broke up with me over a text. why? I asked him to meet and talk in person, he didn’t want to. We’re now 2 months in no contact. It broke my heart how he ended our relationship. It showed me that I never meant to him anything
Been blocked by my ex for 5 months I don't think she will reach out. She said on phone there's nothing to talk about anymore iv done too much hurt etc etc
Move on then bro. She is robing your time and happiness
I was in this situation. She will unblock eventually either out of forgiveness or curiosity. Don’t put everything on this though. Move on and work on yourself in the meantime
@@PooterSmooch I can't see she will tbh
@@dang9269 Same thing just happened to me, and im in an LDR. She just blocked me today after a heated situation. We'll see what happens by the end of this year. For the sake of hope and clarity for others, I'll let you guys know if she reaches out this year at all
What if the relationship was short but we connected really well and it ended because I made a mistake do I still have a chance?
Same here. Only way is no contact and improve yourself
Same 10 months on and off, ended got back together several times this time feels like the end though
Been doing no contact, but she recently readded me on social media what gives?
Mine was a silent break up
My ex saw me on hinge and passive aggressively text me “any luck on hinge?” Mind you , she broke up with me because she wants to move back home which is out of state. So her being on hinge means that there was more to the break up than her just moving back home. Should I just ignore this passive aggressive text or do I respond? And how do I respond ?
I would say it doesn’t matter she did the breaking up
Tell her she's getting too personal about your life and that you'll talk about anything else besides the past relationship and your current love prospects.
Silence is best. Let her wonder how it’s going.
Hello coach Black thanks so much for your advice on breakups. Can you kindly make a video on why an ex boyfriend contacts you after six months telling you that he wants to talk to you one on one only to tell you that he's sorry and he doesn't mention anything about reconciliation and then tells you to keep in touch. Should you accept friendship from an ex? And what should you do when an ex offers you friendship
my opinion, from all these videos, if he broke up with you? If you want him back, this would be the start of him reaching out. Ofc keep your boundaries but only put as much effort as he does and I would say never do not reply but only put as much effort is they do.
He may feel guilt for how he treated you. I’ve apologised a few times when younger for not being a better person whilst with them whilst having zero interest getting back with them. If he wants you back he’ll tell you
100% same for me as above. I was compelled to apologise a year later because I felt she deserved it. It's a sign of maturity I think but I had no intentions to get back together, just felt the need to set the record straight.
Don't accept friendship. Either say no or say yeah ok then don't act like a friend. Continue no contact and keep letting him come to you.
The reason is her dad he manipulates her with money and says he will cut her off he if talks or gets back with me 😪
I know she wants me back but I can do nothing about it cause she listening to him even tho he don’t care about him at all 😢
It’s soo hard cause we are good together
He moved away will I still attract him if I continue to do no contact?
Book for females??
What if the dynamic is more like Blair underwood and Jada Pickett in set it off ? Or like the strictly business vibe ? You need at least one thug in the household 🤷🏾♀️😆
🔥🔥🔥
#TRUTH
Coach, my ex said "we can talk and revisit at the end of the summer to see if getting back together is an option." To your knowledge, is she using me as an option based off this statement?
Why after the summer? That sounds sus to me 😂 Is she preparing for a “hot girl summer”?
@@newerax1009 exactly what I was thinking. She for the streets🤣🛣
@@Los2235 yeah bro I’d be cautious on that one fs
Tell them to kick rocks basically. Let go and heal yourself. The fact that they said that should be beneath you. Don't make anyone put you on hold. Be with someone who wants you as you do then and knows what they want. Eventually that pain gets less over time and you get yourself back after dedicating your time and work on and in you.
What about lesbians
If the couple has traditional gender roles of one being in the masculine role and the other in the feminine role.
Should i post on social media
Y always that cap coach??
> Combine this single ingredient
The ingredient is single and so are you)0))
10:52 - Hi Coach, thank you for thoroughly explaining these concepts. It really helps to calm my nerves, especially after being so emotional.
My partner, for 3.5 years, recently relocated to a different state to be closer to and to help his aging mother. He said our relationship will never change and that we will always be together, no matter the distance. In my mind, I knew this dynamic wouldn’t work for me and I told him how I felt. He kept assuring me that it wouldn’t be like this forever and that eventually, I should move down there to be with him (within the next 4-5 years after my kids are off to college). Since he left, we’ve talked every day, multiple times a day, like there was no change. Regularly, I continued telling him that this arrangement is not working for me, as I am giving him my emotional energy and support while getting very little satisfaction in return. Anyway, it’s been 5 months since his move and my grief has grown and I had my breaking point on Mother’s Day (because he wasn’t here with me). I got angry with him and told him to move on.
I haven’t heard from him since. I texted him and called him a week later after the blow-up, to see how he’s been, but he hasn’t responded. I feel like I fumbled this relationship by getting angry the way I did, even though I’m am not being gratified with physical time and affection.
In this case, since I reacted harshly, should I call him again? Should I travel and go see him?
Yeah
No
He should be doing all the work. He has no right to ignore you
No matter how bad the fight is - he caused it.