Two Real Example Cases of Treating Narcissism | DIANA DIAMOND

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  • Опубліковано 10 лис 2020
  • What are the costs and consequences of narcissism? Maybe jeopardizing your career, or an important relationship? Diana Diamond takes us through two cases of narcissism she has treated: one high-functioning, the other more vulnerable.
    Whether brought on by grandiosity or the lesser-known 'hiding the self' of vulnerable narcissism, the behaviors produced by pathological narcissism have their risks. In exploring the behaviors in therapy, the person's dominant object relation is revealed -- a major step forward in treatment.
    We interviewed Diana Diamond about narcissism and its prevalence in our society today, all the way from healthy traits to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
    -----------------
    Diana Diamond is an expert clinician who makes use of Transference-Focused Psychotherapy in her practice treating NPD and BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).
    Check out our interviews of Otto Kernberg and Frank Yeomans for lots more related material: Kernberg: • Otto Kernberg
    Yeomans: • Frank Yeomans
    For more information about BORDERLINE, the feature-length documentary we made about BPD, please visit: borderlinethefilm.com
    Our archive of videos on BPD and NPD is expanding - be sure to subscribe to our channel here: / borderlinernotes

КОМЕНТАРІ • 106

  • @nietzschesmuse
    @nietzschesmuse 3 роки тому +84

    Wow interviews with Diana Diamond are an eye opening, I love how her views have depth and empathy not just another witch hunt expert on narcissism.

    • @katkatkatkat463
      @katkatkatkat463 3 роки тому +8

      So true she’s a breath of fresh air on the topic

    • @madduxtroy8619
      @madduxtroy8619 2 роки тому

      i know im randomly asking but does anybody know of a method to get back into an instagram account..?
      I was stupid lost my account password. I appreciate any tips you can offer me.

    • @nietzschesmuse
      @nietzschesmuse 2 роки тому

      @@madduxtroy8619 Google your answer.

    • @judeannethecandorchannel2153
      @judeannethecandorchannel2153 Рік тому

      Great profile name Nietzsches Muse

    • @nietzschesmuse
      @nietzschesmuse Рік тому

      @@judeannethecandorchannel2153 Thank you! I hope you are safe!

  • @Michaelwelsch1977
    @Michaelwelsch1977 3 роки тому +98

    Diana Diamond is a leading expert in personality disorders, we’re very fortunate to actually hear her describe real life cases. It’s wonderful, she’s very good.

    • @rachelsimbhu4383
      @rachelsimbhu4383 3 роки тому +5

      Gosh I so love Diana Diamond ! She's 1 of my favorites !

  • @martinanderko9893
    @martinanderko9893 3 роки тому +29

    Dear Diana. In my eyes, you are true Diamond in psychoterapy. Greetings from slovakian narcissist.

  • @hannahpumpkins4359
    @hannahpumpkins4359 2 роки тому +45

    Getting a Narc to therapy and then getting them to continue therapy and then getting them to actually work on themselves and take responsibility for their actions other than blaming everyone else is the hard part.

    • @rabinraj15
      @rabinraj15 Рік тому +8

      That entire process can take the life out of someone 😅

    • @Superstardust777
      @Superstardust777 Рік тому +2

      I wonder if positive reinforcement would work like, if you go to therapy we’ll go out for ice cream after. I believe something can be done.

    • @karlataylor1172
      @karlataylor1172 11 місяців тому +2

      😂 The ice- cream suggestion! Brilliant.

  • @ChrisCoombes
    @ChrisCoombes 3 роки тому +58

    Joe Rogan should have guests like this person.

    • @serenajara1229
      @serenajara1229 6 місяців тому +4

      joe rogan should be one of her patients 😭

    • @brynleytalbot778
      @brynleytalbot778 6 місяців тому +3

      He has Jordan Peterson instead. A highly narcissistic personality seeking attention with his grandiose delivery and superiority complex over everyone else.

    • @doriannemosich232
      @doriannemosich232 4 місяці тому

      Joe will have to be a gentleman at all times, he an do it!

  • @Starstorm111
    @Starstorm111 21 день тому +2

    What a relieve!! To know there’s someone that does believe in recovery and not always a human being is a no hope being.. at least there are people who truly support the idea of the recovery… I wish my mother could have done something like this before absolutely destroying her life and psique.. and also destroying mine. My heart goes for all the humans in pain , lost inside and I wish them hope and help.. one day this pathology will be hopefully treated and many people saved from this terror. I know what I’m taking about sadly, it’s the most devastating thing..

  • @Honest_review85
    @Honest_review85 Рік тому +8

    This is a true therapist! Very empathic

  • @kentburge6701
    @kentburge6701 3 роки тому +31

    I see it. I hear it and I comprehend it. It is so clear and obvious when explained with examples and people in specific conditions.
    Something had to have triggered the need to seek insight from a therapist however. This is the tough part when we love someone that cannot see help is needed.
    It is almost as if the nature of the disfunction denies the disfunction. I would give my right arm to show my wife how much this narcissism is destroying our marriage and me.....and there is no payoff or benefit in the big picture.
    We are so vulnerable in this condition.
    Thank-you Diana Diamond, you inspire hope.

    • @fredwinslow744
      @fredwinslow744 2 роки тому +3

      There is a correlation between the interest to seek help and insight probability itself in one with any strong personality trait like narcissism .
      and so harder it may be as may be in your case sometimes it is only when there is a threat an ultimatum or consequences for the partner that have narcissistic traits will they be willing to subject themselves to counselling
      but as mentioned
      this is a harder
      hence your frustration possibly
      If what you say is true
      ultimatums
      interventions and consequences may be the only stimulant to them seeking help
      A possible approach is for a loving spouse to empathize with everything they value about the relationship
      but then present the problem
      as a shared issue between the two
      And to suggest that you think of both entered couples therapy environment you can grow much stronger as a couple and team
      where the therapist can help both
      What will happen is that the therapist may
      mediate
      insight as a couple together
      Best wishes

    • @kentburge6701
      @kentburge6701 2 роки тому +2

      @@fredwinslow744 wow, thank-you for such a thought provoking response.
      I am still deep in working through all the experience seen and unseen with my marriage to a full on malignant narcissist.
      I will be reading your response a few times to pull as much out of it as I am able.
      Mr. Winslow, it really is something to me when someone as yourself, takes the time to share their perspective as you have.
      I am grateful.
      🙏🏼🔥💪🏽 🌱

    • @ange7422
      @ange7422 Рік тому +2

      @@kentburge6701 try reading Wendy Behary’s “disarming the narcissist” she has a way of speaking to pwNPD that she teaches in her book

    • @kentburge6701
      @kentburge6701 Рік тому +3

      @@ange7422 Dear Ange, I will find this book.
      I have now, spent the last 2 and a half years working diligently towards understanding the intense degree this illness of conscience, destroys everything good. I have not seen or heard from my wife this whole time (I did contact her lawyer 4 times, and crown prosecutor 9 times and phone call to mutual friends) I still love her dearly but i will no longer give a single inch to this character disturbance.
      It has almost cost me my life to love my wife.
      Again, thank-you Ange.
      Kent Burge
      🙏🏼🔥💪🏾 🌱

  • @hopesouthstar4304
    @hopesouthstar4304 2 роки тому +13

    The moment of choice:
    1. The high of being very important vs keeping the gains of years of work
    2. The high of being very loved vs having the stable lifestyle
    Is it similar to the situation where; the cake is so delicious to eat vs regulated blood sugar level?

  • @avahsieh4645
    @avahsieh4645 3 роки тому +15

    “Reflected Grandiosity"
    Thanks for this refreshing insight.

    • @mingonmongo1
      @mingonmongo1 3 роки тому +4

      Yep, and maybe also explains some of the power and allure of narcissistic leaders.

  • @RGangi133
    @RGangi133 3 роки тому +19

    Viewers may be interested to know that Diana Diamond serves as a faculty member at the Weill-Cornell Personality Disorders Institute, the clinical psychology PhD program at the City University of New York, and the NYU Postdoctoral Program in Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis

    • @Spectre2434
      @Spectre2434 Рік тому +1

      That's awesome 👍👍!

    • @irme8930
      @irme8930 Місяць тому

      So many titles and she didn't realize she dealt with a histrionic grandiose narcissist in the second case.

  • @terrywade3696
    @terrywade3696 7 місяців тому +3

    I think it’s interesting how both of these two types of narcissists were both self sabotaging in their choices. Especially for short term and superficial self gratification. They literally threw away their lives for a “piece of pie” moment!

    • @ThreetwoOne-wu7ye
      @ThreetwoOne-wu7ye 3 місяці тому

      You probably meant 'enjoyable'? (rahter than 'interesting')

  • @jamesingold7463
    @jamesingold7463 3 роки тому +13

    Much better than medcircle

  • @priscillagrrr4405
    @priscillagrrr4405 3 роки тому +10

    I need Dr D as a therapist!

  • @guyreid8692
    @guyreid8692 2 роки тому +13

    These two patients Dr Diamond mentions have insight and were willing to come to therapy. The majority of NPD patients are hard core and will tell you to go for therapy, because they’re fine

    • @davidrife1999
      @davidrife1999 2 роки тому +1

      Like everything else one can acquire in society, access to excellence comes at a high price as well - $$$$

    • @dbuck1964
      @dbuck1964 2 роки тому

      Those are the malignant narcissists.

  • @edgreen8140
    @edgreen8140 Рік тому +3

    Special or uniques from the 8 Millon people on the earth. Entitled, exploitative of others, envious of others or believe others are envious of them. Cold empathy. Tfp so interesting. Kind of an object relations approach.

    • @hakametal
      @hakametal 8 місяців тому

      What is NTFP?

  • @cameliaancacoca4013
    @cameliaancacoca4013 3 роки тому +18

    This is very interesting... I thought they lack object relations but obviously for narcissists the object relation got stuck on a different "object" - their grandiosity! It makes a lot of sense. Thank you so much for your insight!! We really appreciate your videos in our family. I wish this channel team get rewarded, this is true value to our society. Thanks again!

    • @jonathanjohnson8311
      @jonathanjohnson8311 3 роки тому +4

      ...and isn't it frightening as all hell to know that such people mingle amongst us virtually everywhere we go, and are probably involved in many/most/all areas of our lives outside the home?!

    • @katkatkatkat463
      @katkatkatkat463 3 роки тому +14

      @@jonathanjohnson8311 why is that frightening? The cases discussed in the video made me feel more empathy for narcissists and less fear of them, and if you are better informed you can recognise these dynamics and protect yourself

    • @TempermentalTart
      @TempermentalTart 3 роки тому +5

      @@jonathanjohnson8311 I found it refreshing that this is the first video I've seen that documents helping those people. There are literally thousands of videos on UA-cam that tell us about how they are everywhere and that there is no hope.

    • @jelena7440
      @jelena7440 2 роки тому +2

      @@TempermentalTart there is no help believe me. The reason why the narcissists behave this way is because they don't think that there will be consequences for them. For example this woman didn't think that the her boyfriend will leave her because she hooked up with another guy the same evening at the party they were both at, he literally saw her getting involved with someone else. Cheating on him. She probably thinks so highly of herself that he would put up with it and when that didn't happen she crashed. Probably her one night stand dumped her too, so she lost two men at once. That's why she went to therapy, she couldn't understand how in real world people won't put up with her sh....t.

    • @TempermentalTart
      @TempermentalTart 2 роки тому +9

      @@jelena7440 Why would I believe you instead of the experts in this video? You're simply stating your opinion, based on feelings. This channel is about hope and actually treating people with NPD. Please consider where you are and the atmosphere.

  • @ledevingreen7920
    @ledevingreen7920 Рік тому +3

    The stories r eye opening!!! My ex is one hope she gets help!!

  • @Spectre2434
    @Spectre2434 Рік тому +1

    So identifying the dominant object Relations is critical in this approach.

  • @judeannethecandorchannel2153
    @judeannethecandorchannel2153 Рік тому +1

    Oh EXCELLENT. THE REAL DEAL. IN DEPTH ANALYSIS. 😌😊😌😊😌

  • @erichaynes7502
    @erichaynes7502 2 роки тому +7

    I used to think only bodybuilders were narcissists.
    Now I realize EVERYBODY is a narcissist lol

    • @penderyn8794
      @penderyn8794 2 роки тому +2

      Everyone the establishment doesnt like is labeled with a personality disorder....funny isn't it

    • @jiminy_cricket777
      @jiminy_cricket777 Рік тому

      I mean, yeah.. read Lasch

    • @hakametal
      @hakametal 8 місяців тому

      There's healthy narcissism and then there's personality disorders.

  • @mdabdulquadir6136
    @mdabdulquadir6136 2 роки тому +2

    Beautifully explained.. experienced therapist..

  • @danpatrick24
    @danpatrick24 3 роки тому +6

    This is thoughtful and incredibly helpful 🧠

  • @accordionSWE
    @accordionSWE Рік тому +2

    Thank you! Great content on this channel.

  • @Superstardust777
    @Superstardust777 Рік тому +1

    She’s good.

  • @Star-dj1kw
    @Star-dj1kw 2 роки тому +1

    Interesting 🤔 video

  • @captainswing4487
    @captainswing4487 3 роки тому +5

    Wow.

  • @fredwinslow744
    @fredwinslow744 2 роки тому +3

    The slippery slope between self esteem, self love, and grandiosity is not really the purview of the therapist unless it is objectively clear.
    The second example appears to be more consistent with histrionic traits( need for attention and to be the centre of attention )
    than narcissism
    Having “no idea why she did it “is more reflective of a histrionic need than the narcissistic grandiose expectation of special treatment
    I feel the therapist has confused this by overly and quickly categorizing
    in her clinical thinking ( at least in this example )
    I admit she may have a more complete clinical picture that allows her to draw the conclusion the patient is grandiose and has a high expectation of special treatment
    The vulnerable narcissist
    is not usually perplexed at being rejected , they tend to have a very victimized perception
    Which her patient did not appear to have .
    She was more ignorant and perplexed that her need for the temporary attention of the other man should cause a break up rather than a sense of indignation at it ( classic vulnerable narcissist ).

    • @brynleytalbot778
      @brynleytalbot778 6 місяців тому +1

      Psychologists are, in my view, rather too academically oriented, whilst psychiatrists are more client focused seeking, within complex mental operating processes, the underlying causes of a clients issues. Sticking plaster therapy versus treating the person. Psychologists have no compulsory therapy into their own underlying issues. Psychiatrists must undertake therapy before practicing and on an ongoing basis. Understand yourself and your behavioural slips before sitting before a client whose life might focus on identifying potential threats and view you, the psychologist, unaware of your slips, as nothing but another of life’s problems to add to the rest. Your assessment of the ridiculously vague client profiles may well be accurate. Dr Yeomans is more clinically precise in his examples. He’s a psychiatrist. Watch him to see the distinct difference between psychologist and psychiatrist.

  • @mckaystevens867
    @mckaystevens867 Рік тому

    In early adulthood, what’s the difference (if there is one) between grandiosity and feeling a normal amount of dissatisfaction with your current life circumstances- perhaps career, location, relationship?
    In order to learn what works for you to feel fulfilled, don’t you need to think somewhat idealistically about your dreams, skillset, opportunities?
    Early adulthood also seems to be an unclear time period for my sense of “self” too. Since I am largely learning it. Therefore, it’s easy to think of hopes for my future in vague terms that don’t feel totally tangible or concrete.
    I guess I am always interested in what is considered a healthy sense of confidence in one’s abilities/ awareness about one’s satisfaction vs what is deemed narcissistic/ grandiose?

  • @lovli31
    @lovli31 3 роки тому +23

    Who are these narcissist that are so open and non-resistant to treatment.. lol

    • @martinanderko9893
      @martinanderko9893 3 роки тому +15

      I am one of them.

    • @lovli31
      @lovli31 3 роки тому +7

      Interesting.. good for you then!

    • @katkatkatkat463
      @katkatkatkat463 3 роки тому +14

      They don’t seem that open lol; she described a process where she had to kind of tease it out and circuitously get them to realise how their behaviour created problems for themselves rather than just telling them outright, which would probably spark their defences and cause them to leave treatment.

    • @jakeyonland8233
      @jakeyonland8233 3 роки тому +2

      Hi lol

    • @rjrnj1
      @rjrnj1 3 роки тому +1

      @@martinanderko9893 Me, too.

  • @racheln8563
    @racheln8563 11 місяців тому +1

    Is obsessing over seeming talented and/or intelligent an indication of pathological narcissism in itself?

  • @ameliarbaldwin1402
    @ameliarbaldwin1402 2 роки тому +2

    I live in Pennsylvania. Where can I get therapy?

    • @Jokaanan
      @Jokaanan 2 роки тому +3

      Look up "transference focused psychotherapy" in your area

  • @gregansen544
    @gregansen544 2 роки тому

    I feel that the first female case should go verbatim into a textbook.

  • @user-xi7gz6sz4w
    @user-xi7gz6sz4w Місяць тому

    "I can't understand why my spouse divorced me. I'm so wonderful and innocent. I'm here for depression."
    "I can't understand why I treated my spouse the way I did. I'm here for depression."

  • @drlarrymitchell
    @drlarrymitchell 2 роки тому +1

    I wanna tell ya what's on my mind
    But I'm hopin', baby, you can read between the lines
    I got this vibe that I hope ain't true
    But the things ya say don't line up with the things you do
    I'm always waitin' for your shit to pass
    And it's gettin' like I'm livin' life inside your ass

  • @fredwinslow744
    @fredwinslow744 2 роки тому +1

    Is it possible that the therapists own experiences with men have manifested in a projective labelling of self importance in this second patient as a result of her beauty etc where there is likely more a strong histrionic need for attention ( hence the I don’t know what I did it except for insecurity and attention over rational intimacy )
    personality traits are the first focus not
    Object identification.
    Which is part of a theoretical structure
    and not that reliable in arriving at the labels we use in personality traits
    I assume the therapist has a deeper set of data on her patient than this one story to draw her conclusion
    I have found in my experience that before we label our patient too quickly ( in lieu of helping objectify with them) we need to be very aware of our own biases and patterns . We all have them
    For instance a therapist(not referring to the professional in video ) that themselves is histrionic with their own esteem issues with obsessive compulsive personality type whom had a deep history of ultimate rejection and frustrated mastery would tend to project victimization and strong automatic Support for the objectivity of any patient whom had a personal history of being hurt in any way( many patients will come in with a story of this type ) … as a victim outright.
    Certainly they feel victimized but the therapist Risks overly supporting ( Beyond unconditional acceptance) many subjective patterns of their patient whom they are tasked with objectifying and improving repetitive patterns in their life…
    This highly specific example is a real one
    Therapists greatest challenge is not always the Patient but themselves
    This Grandiose diatribe 😊stimulated by what appeared to be an Overly simplified diagnostic certainly .

  • @sailing9802
    @sailing9802 3 роки тому +1

    I disagree with the architect incident the therapist relayed. Lots of people talk off the record to the press. If it's a reputable news organization, his name will never be mentioned. It's deep background.
    The architect should have gone to his bosses and seen whether he was allowed to talk off the record.

    • @sailing9802
      @sailing9802 3 роки тому

      and as far as a "slavish" journalist, I don't buy it. A journalist from a major newspaper, say the Times, is not going to act in a slavish manner. Charming, ingratiating, but "slavish" is a bit much.

    • @Nobody-Nowhere
      @Nobody-Nowhere 3 роки тому +2

      It was clearly stated that they were forbidden to talk to the press about the project.

    • @Jokaanan
      @Jokaanan 2 роки тому

      @@sailing9802 yeah but a narcissist might perceive them that way

  • @GK222_
    @GK222_ 2 роки тому +5

    Diana, I love you but I think if my mom was to consult with you - you'd probably resign. Not that I don't trust your abilities but...she's the king of narcs

  • @sarahm8775
    @sarahm8775 3 роки тому +18

    This woman is better than Dr. Ramani.

    • @saumitrsharma2816
      @saumitrsharma2816 3 роки тому

      why?

    • @ejinchina4630
      @ejinchina4630 3 роки тому +7

      Much more objective, much more stable.

    • @Nobody-Nowhere
      @Nobody-Nowhere 3 роки тому +15

      Dr Ramani is a self help guru, selling books & retreats. She also feeds the victimhood mentality with the whole empath narrative. Sadly its a business.

    • @JoyFay
      @JoyFay 2 роки тому +6

      They are both good

    • @II-zc5lk
      @II-zc5lk 2 роки тому +6

      I disagree, Dr. Ramani is spot on. She's not a self help guru she has a PHD in psychology and a professor at UCLA. She knows what she's talking about.

  • @fredwinslow744
    @fredwinslow744 2 роки тому +1

    Did she say the second patient was a vulnerable Narcissist and was swept up into the grandiosity and narcissism of the gentlemen who paid attention to her ????? So she labelled the woman by this example and ALSO A total stranger ! who showed her attention ( who she knows nothing about ) as a narcissist also ???
    She was swept up in the “reflected grandiosity “ …?? a little overuse and overreach of clinical acumen I suggest

  • @rudhisundar
    @rudhisundar 3 роки тому +5

    She deserved the break up!

    • @youtbe999
      @youtbe999 3 роки тому +4

      She's simply a gold digger who pretends otherwise.

    • @katkatkatkat463
      @katkatkatkat463 3 роки тому +6

      Lol True but it’s still possible to feel sorry for her because in the end she played herself

  • @jam6636
    @jam6636 2 роки тому +2

    Nothing she said tells me those patients were able to change, she only mentions 1 moment of insight where their only response is "you are right"... doesn´t sound credible.

    • @TempermentalTart
      @TempermentalTart 2 роки тому +7

      It's a start. They are now aware and see it in a tangible way. They will now be able to see the patterns and replace their poor decisions with better ones. They're waking up...

    • @jam6636
      @jam6636 2 роки тому

      @@TempermentalTart nahh

  • @fredwinslow744
    @fredwinslow744 2 роки тому

    Why does Donald trump come up on this channel so much ?? Very irresponsible to discuss this important topic utilizing such a divisive issue ( the media polar opposite treatment of a current leader ) Politicizing psychology is shameful Half the population are not trumps “willing executioners “ and this evidence of professionals mass delusion is an example of the danger of the soft science of psychopathology psychiatry and psychology in the hands of us “professionals “
    - a mental health professional
    Ps the topic and speaker is ow informative