6 Blind Spots That Keep Narcissists Stuck
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- Опубліковано 1 тра 2024
- Narcissists think they have life figured out and you should be as they say. Drawing upon his decades as a therapist, Dr. Les Carter describes how they have significant blind spots that keep them stuck in their dysfunctions. Their profound lack of self-awareness prompts them to perpetuate all sorts of unhealthy patterns.
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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. Since creating his UA-cam channel, his videos have received more than 110 million views.
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My father was divorced 3 times, made enemies with most of his children and made enemies of his friends, but he still tried to tell me how to have good relationships. I'm not married and I don't have kids. My father told me it's a tragedy that I'm not married with children. It was a tragedy the way he behaved.
He wasn't an ideal role model 😢
@@amandaliverpool3374 Sadly, he was nicer that my mother(his 3rd wife). My mother is a raging narcissist. They adopted me and 2 other kids. I was put into a foster home because my biological father was a psychopathic alcoholic who abused his kids and beat his wife. My parents who adopted me seemed normal, but they went crazy when I was 15 and got a divorce. I've been no contact with them since 2016 and life has never been better.
I did tell him one time he's supposed to be a role model and he didn't like hearing that.
@@rwdchannel2901 They never do 🫂🌸
I refused to give that lineage another generation. I knew by age 10 that I'd treat children as I'd been treated. What other pattern could I imagine? And I WOULD NOT do that to someone else.
If you don’t think how they think you’re the one with a messed up mind, they’ll remind you of it constantly.
More blind spots than Cyclops.
😂😂 🐙
😂💓🌸
@@amandaliverpool3374 🤣🤣🤣
Lol
Humor is therapeutic! Thanks 🙂 have a happy day
They have no forward thinking. Everything is self centered and they won't find a way out!!!
Yes, zero inclination to consider any long term effects.
Only the want of the moment counts. Damned with the consequences later ...
@@PantaRhei-wz5zn So true. They lack long-term perspective. I'm glad to hear things got worse in my previous workplaces after I quit.
@@yukio_saitolol, I so understand your sentiment😄
Yes, they tend to destroy friendships or relationships with people they deem no longer useful to them.
When it happens that they need their help again, then they pretend they had done nothing, and expect relationship to go on as before. No apologies of course, because they are way too haughty to do that.
So true
Their problem is never solved because they presume it was solved. 😮
I had no idea this was a mindset with them , your observation is very good 👍
Or that they ever even had one❣️
@@amandaliverpool3374I agree with you, Amanda. Because the false self is pretending to have no problem at all.
@@amandaliverpool3374 Ah. It's anyone else's problem.
Most of the time I felt like I was teaching my ex like he was one of my children. The thing is, even my young children had already learned these emotional skills. For many years, I believed he had Aspergers like my adult son or at least on the spectrum. He knew I thought this, but he never corrected me. Must have been a way he knew he could pull sympathy or understanding for much of his outrageous and insensitive behavior. I was not educated at the time about projection, so his accusations made me feel small, confused, hurt. It was all so exhausting, but I loved him dearly & did not know that I eventually entered a trauma bond. The more I loved him, then the more hatred & cruelty emerged. In the end I realized that he would eventually destroy me. He was close. No contact was necessary for my survival.
1. "It's all about me - (a) you (is) are not existent."
2. "Every worth for me lies in the outside world - the inside world is totally unimportant."
3. "My narrative can be changed every second - depending what I need right now."
4. "The world ows me - because I was treated the worst."
5. "Life is a competition - you either win or lose."
6. "Whenever you are against me, I will put you in your place."
1. One direction, one perspective, no mutuality, no equality, blind for the needs of others, lack of empathy, no humanity
2. No access to the inner world, which has been imprisoned because it's much too painful and chaotic; the result is a neediness to fill the internal gaps/emptiness (supply) 24/7
3. Camouflaging all around the clock, masking, which gives permanently attention to the outside world, wheras the inner world gets only more and more chaotic and seperated from the true, inner self; secrets and dishonesty go hand in hand
4. Entitlement and victimhood go hand in hand, because intertwined; it's always the others fault to be "carefree"
5. Superiority and inhumanity, power oriented, strong mindset of black & white thinking, no grey zones, no nuances, because life is too complex to handle otherwise; dominance as the only coping strategy for surviving; feels strong whereas it is actually weakness, evidence for compensating feeling inferior from the inside
6. Whenever someone differs from them, it is perceived as a threat and will be defended with agressiveness like anger, rage, stonewalling, silent-treatment, invalidation, discard...
3. They don't even realize the contradiction of narratives. 😮😅😆
@@yukio_saito Thank you for your response, Yukio 🙏 Well, I think they do understand the contradiction but they just don't care at all. At least this is my experience I made with a Sociopath.
@@roxymovie3938 Anyway they are consistently inconsistent.
@@yukio_saito Yes, indeed. And with the purpose to confuse and drive you nuts 🙄
Yes indeed!
In summary about what keeps narcissists stuck: 1. They are in pain while believing they cannot move away from often being felt inner turmoil. 2 They are stuck inside their self-induced lonliness through the practicing of false pretense. 3. Alienated towards both their own inner life and so apart from others too. 4. Passing on the harsh behavior they have experienced in the past onto others. 5. During conflict they have the inabiity to imagine themselves being in someone else's shoes. 6. Copes poorly with constructive criticism towards them.
“Can’t change what you can’t see” sums things up for me, Dr C🎯
Oh wow, I've got a hiatal and inguinal hernia. Scheduled for surgery Monday. Narcissists can really do a number on your health. They are the gift that keeps on giving even after they're gone.
Uh! The best of luck for surgery and recovery.
You surely have sense of humour' "the gift that keeps on giving"? 😅
@@oceanaoushn8803 - Kind of like herpes!!!! 😂😂😂😉
It's like a smelly fart. You can still imagine it after it's gone. I'll be thinking about you on Monday 🙏 Good health will follow soon, I'm sure. 🥰✨️🌸💓🫂🙏
❤️🩹
@@oceanaoushn8803 Thank you!
Has anyone else experienced a narcissistic spouse who focuses most of their negativity on ONE child in the family? I know my middle grandchild has been the scapegoat of my spouse. I think he projected his own child onto my now 13 yo Grandson, but the 9 yo granddaughter has spouse wrapped around their finger. It has pitted the kids against each other....& triggers me with my own childhood trauma involvingy own narcissistic abusive father. I recently made the decision to break this cycle & know i should have gotten out decades ago😢
I was the scapegoat in my family. It has set me up for a lifetime of toxic friendships because I tolerate a lot of abuse from people. Please protect your grandson.
Why is this behavior being allowed? Why does he have contact with these children?
It seems to me that Dr.C enjoys what he does and he sincerely wants to help people with these videos...I have learned a lot& am truly grateful...will keep returning to this channel😊
Dr. Carter, you should consider making an occasional video directed at narcissistic people who have some self-awareness and want to change.
Strategies they can use to improve their symptoms and internal suffering
Good point. If you do a query in my search bar at the top of the channel about narcissists changing, you should find 4-5 at least. Here is a link to the most recent one. ua-cam.com/video/_q9rwNWkncg/v-deo.html
@@SurvivingNarcissism Thank you!
Good idea 💡
If you have understood what narc is all about, you will not ask for their video. They will see anyone else in it except themselves 😔
What they don’t get about others… isn’t that the pre-requisite to establishing a self-awareness prior to connections to others…prior to caring for themselves and for others … followed by empathy?
Narcs have poor insight/self awareness.
Their different blind spots keep them entrapped:
1. They are defined by existential pain.
> a deep feeling of hurt
> lack of psychological competence
> they display that pain onto you
2. They are stuck inside self-induced loneliness.
> they drive away people
> they are not honest
> they show no vulnerability
> they isolate themselves
3. What they don't know about other people is what they don't know about themselves.
> they don't know the meanings of emotions
4. The harshness they feel toward others is a direct byproduct of the harshness they have received.
> they displace a lot
5. They have no concept of conflict resolution beyond the use of imperative communication.
6. Living behind the false self guarantees phoniness.
Be aware:
》They can't change what they can't see
》Their problems will get worse with time
》They have multiple failed experiences
》They are neither open minded or authentic
Dr Carter 👨🦳 and Gus 🐶 thank you for another lesson full of insight 🌞🌟🌝🌈
Hi Roxy! Did I say all that? Thanks again!
@@SurvivingNarcissism You are quite welcome, Dr Carter - and yes, you did say all of this and even more 😉
Brilliant, Dr.C you are simply the best therapist ever walked planet earth! 🙏🙏🙏
You’re kind, Fred
My notes:
1:25 When you're dealing with narcissistic individuals, the kind of approach where you go into strong insights about who they are tends not to work, mainly because they've already declared themselves to be a finished product. In other words, they already know what the right opinion is and how things are supposed to unfold, and how people are supposed to treat them and their major frustration is "I just can't get everybody to do what I want. If they would, then my problems will be solved." That's not how it works.
1:57 Narcissists are incredibly inclined towards poor insight. They don't have good self-awareness. Because of that, these individuals tend to have some serious blind spots that actually keep them in trapped in their own narcissistic dysfunctional patterns because they can't be honest with themselves about who they are and what's going on. They continue to perpetuate all of the compensation patterns that they're in and they just they create all sorts of havoc with you as you try to engage with them.
3:11 There are some significant things about themselves that they simply don't see and they're not going to make any kind of improvements until they do see these.
3:23 The first blind spot is they're defined not just by their fears and their shame (I mean, yes, they are defined by that) but they're defined even at a deeper level by an existential pain. These individuals are hurting. That goes way back in their deep history. Things have not played out well with certain key individuals.
3:57 Rather than saying "Somebody is going to walk me through this and we're going to figure this out," there's a certain ineptitude that they had way back. When they began developing the false self it was like "Well, if I say this that's going to get me in trouble. If I do this, that's going to keep me out of trouble." So they don't really develop core emotional or psychological competence.
4:24 They're trapped by their own existential pain. It's like "Life hurts and I don't know how to deal with it from the inside out and so what I'll do is I'll just have to resort to whatever superficial means that I can come up to deal with my hurts."
4:42 As a result, they just look outward and think "What are you people out there doing to make me feel miserable?" Because they don't have that internal competence and that internal capacity to say "I need to take a hard look at myself and my coping skills." That's a blind spot. They carry this pain and as a result of not being able to deal with it very well, what they do is they displace that pain onto you.
5:11 A second primary blind spot is they're stuck inside their self-induced loneliness. What they'll say is "I have a problem with a bunch of idiots in my life who don't do things right." When, in fact, no, what your problem is, is you're isolating yourself from other people because you connect with individuals based upon false pretenses. You're not really an authentic person. Or you drive away people because you just don't have enough honesty and vulnerability. You have a loneliness that you created and until you can come to terms with what that means and what's driving that, you're going to continue to have the same old problems.
6:09 A third blind spot that they have is what they don't know about other people is what they don't know about themselves. For example, other people can have emotions like agitation and irritability and the narcissist can say "I just can't stand it that they feel that way, especially toward me." Well, the truth is you don't understand your own agitations. You don't understand the meaning of your emotions. Or if they say "That other person over there, they're too defensive." Well, how about yourself? You don't understand your own defensiveness and all the fear that plays into it. Or they can say "That other person is way too insecure." Well perhaps it's because you don't understand your own insecurity. They don't know about other people and their emotions because they don't know themselves. That's a blind spot. In order for me to be able to have some idea of who you are, I have to enter into the whole human experience in an honest way and admit my humanity and deal with that. Because they don't want to do that, then they don't understand you very well and that's something that they simply don't understand.
7:22 A fourth blind spot that is when they treat other individuals harshly. The harshness that they feel toward other individuals it's a direct byproduct of the harshness that they've already experienced from other people in their life. In other words, they displace a whole lot. If they're mean to you, if they're rude to you, if they're dismissive, or they give you the silent treatment, it's because they've probably had the very same thing done to them and they've not come to terms with that. So if you were to sit down and say "Hey, I know that you have these tendencies with me but I think you've got some unfinished business on the inside of yourself about the way other people have dealt with you and you're just continuing on that same dysfunction with me, can we slow down and take a look at what you bring to the equation?" And it's like "I don't do that." As a result, they haven't come to terms with their own internal grief and their own internal confusion, and as a result of that, they're harsh to you because that's what was done to them. So they just go on the modeling that they received early on.
8:34 A fifth major blind spot is they have no conception of conflict resolution beyond the use of imperative communication. I've talked about imperative thinking and imperative communication. 'Imperative' means it's very command-oriented, black & white, do this / don't do that, you must / you'd better / you have to. When they come upon conflict, they're more than eager to say "You'd better do this. You have to quit doing that." They don't take the time to think "Before I just start telling you what to do, let's look at some insights. Who are you and why do you feel the way you do? What's the backstory? What kind of miscalculations might I have made in my interactions with you? Let's figure out what we're bringing to the equation as we have this conflict. The more we understand each other, then the better we're going to be." They don't do that. "I don't do that. It wasn't done to me. I don't know how to do that." So they just talk in imperatives. They think "As soon as you do what I tell you to do, then problem solved." Of course, that's a blind spot. It doesn't work that way.
9:48 A sixth blind spot is by virtue of the fact that they live behind the pretenses of the false self so they are going to have guaranteed phoniness in the way that they engage with people. They think of themselves as being the kind of person that everybody else needs to emulate when, in fact, they're not real. They're not genuine. What they purport to be on the outside is just what they need to be so that they can get whatever supply they're looking for. But they bring a phoniness and lack of authenticity, and of course relationships are not going to go well when you bring those kind of ingredients. That's a blind spot. They're not going to admit that. They're certainly not going to say "The reason I struggle is because I have some of my own internal issues." They can't go into that kind of space because the false self won't allow them to say that. As a result, they can't change what they can't see. Their problems are going to be your fault. Their problems are going to worsen as you continue with them because they stubbornly hold on to their failed explanations. They're prone towards lying and secret keeping.
11:25 You can be the kind of person that says "I like to see what my blind spots are so that I can grow. I like to have insight so that I can be a person who's making improvements." And the narcissist will say "You sure need to do that." All the while, they don't see where they're coming from.
11:43 By understanding what we're talking about here, you can at least recognize where the futility is coming from. Being open-minded, being authentic is essential for relationships success. Narcissists are neither open-minded nor authentic, so drop the illusion that you're going to make them change. They can't change until they address their blind spots. So make your adjustments accordingly.
13:55 I'm hopeful that you're the kind of person that says "I want to have insight and if it means I have to acknowledge certain things about myself that I haven't been as privy to. I'm open to that." Narcissists won't go into that space with you and as a result, their blind spots keep them snared by their own dysfunction. See it for what it is. You don't have to go in there and join them.
I have done some of the things Dr Carter talks about in this video. I have lashed out at others when I feel mistreated.
Snowbear, you are at least aware of what you have done and in difference to a Narc I assume that you are not proud of your behavior because a Narc feels no remorse to lash out. In the contrary, he gets supply out of it and I guess you rather feel ashamed and frustrated.
😮
I grew up trapped at the whim of my malignant narcissist brother. I cut him out of my life 20 years ago but I watch these videos to understand why he treated me the way that he did, and it has been very therapeutic. Thanks Dr C 🖤
It matters for you as you make sense of the influences from your past. Glad the videos resonate!
The best was.. I’ve pretty much have done all the changing I need at this point in my life.. lol are you dead? 😂
The finished product. Exact words to describe it.
Work Bestie quit, and now I am alone AGAIN with Narc Boss. 3rd quit for this position in 1 1/2 year. I am bereft. Supervisor in senior employment program (they pay 40% salary) does not understand, thinks I am "just" complaining, so I have not for the past 6+ months. He does not understand the narcissist thing at all. When I explained, I sound unhinged. Working through it the best I am able...
If you have a Narc boss find somewhere else to work quietly or if you feel bad enough and can survive just go.. ..they wont listen, they tell lies, cover up for themselves, blame you for things they or someone else has done, they are unrealistic and difficult, dont follow rules or are put the company or you in danger , they can alter your work and then enjoy chastising you in front of others .they.use it as a way to control you leaving you having to watch over yr shoulder and covering for yourself, they use flying monkeys to do dirty work against you and enjoy the power and control and to see you suffer ..after leaving let someone more snr than yr manager know what was happening and why so it helps them sort it out after you are gone if they want to .. .it may be coming from above and yr boss maybe the flying monkey! ..note instances and details, dates, what happened, what you said, what they said, what happened, gaslighting instances, etc..etc keep a journal .Note ..there are.lots of great people to work for dont waste time around nasty people who make you feel like you have to cover for yrself and blame you for their issues ..some are dangerous and can seriously affect yr mental health and ruin your future prospects..which is what they want
It is good to know that there is understanding here. THANK YOU, PEEPS. ❤
Has anyone frighten for your life after being stone walled even when no threat has been made and no history of violence ever existed? This last time I was stone walled the fear arrived and I am not sure if this is inappropriate or not.
IMO there is always a risk of possible violence with narcissists. I'd keep my head on a swivel.
@@Hatbox948 I think I just need to give myself some space. His silent treatment has never made me feel this bad before and there is know way of knowing. My trust in him is gone and I don’t think I will ever be able to do so again. I never thought I would ever develop fear of him. Not this strong anyways.
@@IamStreber Trust your instincts. You're somehow picking up on something new in him that's threatening. If you can leave, do so. It could take only one act of violence on his part to do you in!
Thank you. I am away from him now. It’s so confusing because he is family and I didn’t think this would ever occur inside me about him. And here it is. I think I will continue to keep learning and keep commenting because I do believe there are good people out there that will help me keep my fact straight. Thank you again, I really needed validation.
@@IamStreber We all come here to watch Dr. Carter's videos and to read the responses of other people who watch them. We ALL need validation! And as the saying goes, when someone shows your their true self, believe them. You're not the one who is badly out of order; they are. Hang in there - the more videos we watch and the more comments we read, the more assured we become that we're making the best decision by steering clear of the problem / narc.
Mine could never see, and absolutely refused to even consider, that their behaviors CAUSED nearly ALL their problems. Oh no, it was ALWAYS "their" fault. Someone else. Even when they obviously set it up. This was very difficult for the overt narcs. It's much harder to see with the sneaky coverts. I finally began to notice that their results were curiously consistently bad. After that, I could connect the dots. And an overt narc can be somewhat more aware of what they are doing. Sometimes. Not in any way always. In my experience, COVERT narc is far less likely to see the pattern, and much more likely to dismiss it as being their problem if they do get an inkling.
No matter how much that should not be so, my experience is that distance is the best tool for dealing with this. 1,000 miles is good. And no, they won't get it even then. But it's much harder to reach you.
Not saying dealing with overt narcs is easy. It's still a nightmare. Coverts are far more dangerous in my experience. It's so insidious and subtle. Reminds of the frog in the boiling pot analogy.
Yes. My folks were awful. Overt pop was a nasty piece of work. And he was safER than covert mom.
Strangely, they both said what an idyllic childhood we had. As if no recollection at all of the hell they made for us. Even as I admit that their childhoods were worse.
I'm still actively in therapy from that trauma, that seemed so endless at the time. I'm now 74. I survived, using every tool I found, including years of therapy. At least I'm alive. My brother was murdered with his own gun, that he carried "for safety," and in lieu of therapy.
Dr. C has called narcs evil. I don't know that. But ignorant or deliberate, makes no difference to the victims.
Let's sue the narcs and their enablers for causing our brain damage.
Hi Dr. Carter; Question: If narcissists were wounded as children and never learned how to communicate in a healthy way, and if they aren't aware of that, and they don't know how to communicate going back to childhood, then it isn't their fault. Why then, should anyone expect an adult narcissist to be able to look within themselves and realize they are emotionally and socially stunted? Thank you
Bravo Dr.C you outdo yourself every time, very deep thoughts!
#7 blind spot: others (in a family setting) rile up the narcissist, because they know the narcissist will react. The narcissist will always tell about himself as though he's the just and right one, when, in fact, they're not even close.
Dr. C ❤just know, you have helped me more than anyone else. Bless u and ur amazing work🕊🙏💗! Go Team Healthy❤🙌🙏🙌
So very pleased!!
Someone recently said-can’t talk to or change a parrot stuck on one line of thinking. Cover him up and forget it.
Wished I'd used morse code on narc, would have more sense than bullshit from narc! and narc probably wouldn't understand what your doing! Or use sign language!!!!🙏🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
OMG! This has helped me understand why a friend from my teenage years cut me out of her life, despite me begging her to talk things through. Clearly she didn't want to talk, or meet me in a place of truth, for she was"RIGHT" & I was completely "wrong", out of order for using the word "trite", even though I apologised as it obviously upset her. No discussion, just told off for daring to use that word, and consequently I was completely cut out of her life! And that was all there was to it! She had very fixed views and I thought that she was joking when she declared those views as the only CORRECT views about the subject! I assumed she had far more self-awareness than she had, for she led me to think that.... Now I've seen this video, I can see that she must be a Narcissist. Thank you Dr C. This has really helped me sort out the muddle in my mind! 💖
Glad it resonated!!
Hmmm loneliness vs boundaries. Are my boundaries just me isolating myself?
Omgoodness another wonderful video that I am excited to learn from. Thank you dr C and of course Gus 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼😊🥰🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️🩹❤️🤗🥰🙏🏼😊
Troubled people who bring trouble in others people's lives just because they can. They enjoy being "the trouble" as long as this troubles you....
If I hear the word “angst” by a covert hero narcissist one more time… excellent video! Thank you!
Excellent information. Timely, for sure. ❤
If I do not have internal peace then I need to start questioning why.. If I am around some chaotic person then I start asking myself is it me or is it them? If it is them then I can start to detach.. Whether it is physical detachment or emotional detachment or both.. I am opened up to many choices..
This example is going to be a little different because it is about behind the back chaos rather than obvious chaos.. There are people that are part of the HOA that will leave the garbage cans open even when the HOA says to close them.. Same people where I expressed my concerns about something and they acknowledged me and then did what I told them not to do.. What I am finding out and still learning this lesson is that some people want to be in that chaos.. The opposite of peace...
"direct byproduct of the harshness they received" ... you hit the nail on the head. I think about this all the time. How the generation below bears the brunt of the abuse. When it should have been directed to the generation above--the generation that raised them. It's a full generational displacement. (And yet, I can't stop feeling sad about that for them.)
This sounds like it's going to be a good one
I wonder how much of this Gus is retaining. 🙂❤️ keep your stuff coming… you’re doing awesome. You’ve helped me so much.
I told my former friend “ you have an alien level of Cognitive Dissonance “
Wow! My ex wife (I got out last August) summed up perfectly in 14 minutes. I think I already knew this but you have an amazing way of wording and putting across this info in an easy to grasp way. Keep it coming Dr Les, you are helping so many to heal.
Glad it was helpful!
Ok I have more adjustments to make but thanks to Dr Carter that's possible!
I could have some of those blinds spots okay if I do I can do something about them, we are work in progress unfinished, unfinishable.
True 👍 Healthy individuals are always trying to improve ✨️
You're a work in progress, and as a result you're also an inspiration, too. Thanks Fred!
Thank you Dr C‼️❤️🩹 you help me with every video!!❤️🩹🥳‼️‼️ Hey Gus🐶🥰😍‼️
Great Video Dr. Carter! Thanks so much!
Thank you always Dr. C.
From JANESVILLE, WI
Thanks, Dr.C😊
I noticed therapists mention the narc using the silent treatment as a means to punish their victim. However, isn't it a normal response for the victim to withdraw and disengage from someone who has unleashed a fit of rage towards them? Wouldn't it be a natural response for the victim to go silent to avoid more abuse?
I get your point. It comes down to intent. A punitive attitude vs. common sense.
I’d love to see you do a team video with Renee Swanson from the covert narcissism podcast and/or the Little Shaman. You 3 are my favorites and have done more to help me than years of in person therapy. And a million times more than couples counseling.
Thank you very much your explanation is always the Very Best. Happy May.😊
Oh Gus❗️🥰 You make me happy ❤
Woof!
Thanks Dr C.
Very welcome
Gus looks depressed
How do you move forward when your child refuses to speak to or interact with your parent (who you recently realised is a narcissist) and then your parent gets angry with you for not fixing the issue (i.e. for refusing to force the child to change their behaviour)?
Tell your parent that your child deserves respect like everyone else, and the child's feelings are to be respected. Make it clear to the grandparent that they aren't entitled to a relationship with their grandchild. In your lives, all adults must EARN respect if children are to trust them.
My inlaws were harsh and punishing to my daughter (at age 10) when she visited them alone. Her grandfather made it clear to her that he valued his grandsons, but not her as a granddaughter. And her grandmother was harsh and punishing toward her, instead of comforting, when she became homesick. Later, while sobbing, she revealed all this a couple months after a long, unescorted visit with them.
We never guessed they would treat her badly, so thereafter we promised she would never visit them without us in the future - i.e., we would visit as a family and return home as a family. No more being left alone with them.
Sarcasm
Could an INFJ personality type be similar to a narcisist?? Maybe with memory loss and/or disassociation?
Blind spot #4 modeling - question: I believe my husband is on the spectrum of CN. His dad was mean and he has been too. He has made some adjustments, but my children are all adults now. My question is: would it be appropriate to have a conversation with my children about the example they saw growing up? Perhaps something like “when you have children I hope you can disrupt the cycle you witnessed as a child.” It would be heartbreaking to see grandkids be a 3rd generation of this. My kids are all too young to have families yet. But wondering if it’s ever appropriate to have this discussion proactively?.
My girlfriend said, within the first week, "Don't try to change me". This is also said by a lot of divorced women back in the dating scene but, my girlfriend said it and other things, and is difficult to an extreme level. She denies the events and words that happened and were said, but I was there. I am still here. I left 6 times and she comes to me. I lay down rules and she gets a little better but... I am not codependent like I need to be abused. I want a good relationship but don't believe there are any good & reasonable women out there!
By the way, looks like they are about to start WW3. Not a good time for starting new!
Dr. Carter, you should do an interview with @timfletcher!
I'll look him up!
Yeah, that dog dont hunt, matter of fact he aint even litting its head up..😢
ABSOLUTELY HOGWASH
what is with you r voice?
I've had serious allergies for 5 months. Going to yet another doctor next week to look into it. Please be patient with me.
Take care Dr Carter I hope you get better soon. Good you are not in Melbourne Australia we are the allergy capital of the world.
Praying you'll get the help you need, Dr. Carter. I appreciate everything you do. You have helped me so much! Keep up the good work! You are a true blessing in helping all of us walk through this experience with a narcissist! ❤😊
Fabrication pure & simple from start to finish ❤️🩹