FTM Trans Advice (Q&A)
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- Опубліковано 6 чер 2024
- Answering your questions and (hopefully) giving some useful advice!
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Jamie is lowkey like our 'Trans Dad' who we come to when we need advice. And I'm kinda living for it.
"Jaaaammmiiieee, I have a trans related issue!"
*Jamie appearing from the shadows*
"Alright. Here is some advice, some moral support and relatable comedy. It gets better. I believe in you. Bye."
*Dissappears back into the shadows*
I'm not even trans, and I'm way older than Jamie, but he's still my Trans Dad.
Sheryl Christensen me too ❤️💜💙
Proposal: rename the channel "Trans Dad talks"
I’m trans FtM he is like a trans dad for advice😊
E. S. Lavall or maybe just make a playlist, so the videos that don't talk about that don't discourage people searching for actual advice on his channel?
I'm so glad that you mentioned the "feminine as a kid" thing! When I first realized I was trans it took me forever to actually accept it becasue I didn't really mind all of the girly things as a kid and people are always saying how i acted as a kid meant I could never actually be male. So thank you for that :D
OH MY GOD SAME! 😲😁
I grew up the same way!! I never liked pink, ever, but I loved my unicorn collection, I loved mermaids and fairies and I was told I played princess dress up when I was very little. But that never really changed the fact that when I hit puberty and the concept of 'boys and girls' was finally driven home, I didn't feel right identifying as what was assigned to me, and that always spoke louder to me than the barbie dolls I played with when I was 8. And when 13 year old, pubescent me looked back at them dolls and dresses and thought 'that was fun, time to move on' the rest of the world demanded I REMAINED in that 8 year old state regardless of my feelings or changing self. It's such a bizarre system of forced binary indoctrination we live in until we gain our own free will, then the world spends the rest if OUR life trying to revert us BACK to that 8 year old self when we conformed and didn't fight back. Lol
For me, I liked trucks and I liked Barbies. I was a 'perfect mix of girly girl and Tom boy,' as my mom put it. But I wanted to play with the boys, not the girls. I was excluded so the girls were my only options. I did makeup because that's what everyone else was. I wore dresses because I thought they would make me attractive and I only cared about what others thought at that point. But now, I've escaped the prison of 'being a girl,' I'm socially transitioned and I'm happier with myself than I ever could have been, living as a woman. I feel sick to my stomach, even thinking of living as one.
Same
Yeah same! I would wear dresses and such as a kid, but now that I’m older I literally own no dresses or anything and I’m very uncomfortable with being referred to as a girl (I’m non-binary)
Let's be honest - male restrooms are terrifying in general. Legit.
yesssss
Tbh i was with my aunt she doesnt know im trans i accidently almost went mens but i never go there i was just thinkin idk if i looked weird goin womens i think i pass well enough
Indeeeeeed
For real. I’ve been on testosterone for three years and I pass as a man more than half the time. I still very much avoid mens rooms.
"Whats the first thing you did when you found out you were trans?"
Jamie: Haha I panicked!
Me: same tbh
I just realized i did too😂
Big mood, so did I
Jup, several weeks of panic about am I trans, then several weeks of panic on how do I tell my partner. It was great XD And I still of and on am panicking about either having dysphoria and how am I ever gonna get out of it, and then on other moments about feeling fine and doubting if I am even trans. It sure is stressful.
The scariest thing happened to me about a month ago. I'm a trans guy and my parents don't know I use the men's bathroom. I was using the bathroom at a trick bike place when my dad walked in to use the bathroom. He couldn't see me but I could see his shoes and here his voice (he asked some kid if there was soap). I was SO SCARED
AJ Godeck Huh. Scary!
1. My names AJ too
2. I was at a wedding and I was about to go into the boys bathroom but then my dad came and went in it was word and scary
AJ Godeck oh gosh
Thank you for saying it's ok if you acted and dressed like people expected you to as a kid. I sometimes feel like i'm not valid, since i was never really a "tomboy" when i was younger.
No. 1 Fander same btw I love Thomas Sanders too:)
AJ Wildhaber sweet!
I was a tomboy but never really minded dresses, but yeah what he said was HUGE
I'm a cis person but your channel (and also trans youtube in general) brings me so much joy!!! THANK YOU for sharing your experience and educating me! Your channel is one of the safest, nicest parts of youtube and I often come here whenever I feel a bit vulnerable. Sorry for sloppy message but you're the best :')
Still cis? We need an update
Sleeping without a binder. I tend to keep my arms over or behind my head so that my arms and chest don't touch any other part of my body.
I also keep my head up and away or my eyes closed when I shower and focus on the cleaning
i can sleep without a binder if i have this extra blanket that i put on my chest. idk, something about the weight of it helps. and i take a lot more baths because 1) you dont have to focus on your body, 2) you can look under the water and visualise the body you actually want, and 3) you can read or do shit on your phone. idk any other tips lol, mine are probs just bad
For sleeping i put a pillow against my chest and wrap my arms around it. It somehow tricks my mind into thinking its my chest being flat. Idk if that helps
I shower with the lights off for multiple reasons but one of the biggest ones is bc of my chest~
My question is intense Jamie... I hope you're prepared to answer...
How did you get your hair so perfect, I want ittttt 😭😭😭
I love the stay weird sign in the back, it's the best advice.
Hey Jamie, I'm FtM trans and my mom is beyond just hesitant about supporting me. She gets really aggressive when trans-related issues come up and I've given her time. I came out to her as trans a year and a half ago and she is still super against everything. I do have a binder but she hates that I wear it. I want to talk to her about supporting me but I'm scared to, any advice? (Sorry for the long comment)
That's basically how my dad is. All I can say is find somebody else to support you and ignore the negative things she says about your trans-Ness. Make sure she knows you love her, and maybe shell realize how incredible you are, regardless of your gender and presentation.
AJ Wildhaber Alright, thanks for the advice! 😌
Eyy my mom's judgey too. She always calls me 'her girl' to bate me and it makes me so depressed. On the good side, I only have her and not a father so I don't deal with that. Do you have a single parent or both?
ThE OtHeR SiDe Of Me vivacious I have a step dad but he doesn't really know about me being trans but I know he's as against it as my mom. My real dad lives somewhere in Tucson so I rarely get to see him. He's a little bit more accepting than my mom but I never see him..
I don't know if you will see this Red Raven but the advice I can give is to know that you are not alone. I came out to my mom around a year ago and she hasn't accepted a thing. Anytime I try talking about binding or a hair cut she gets aggressive to the point she told me if I bought a binder she would cut it to pieces. Things like this is hard just know your not alone.
Hi! I have a very specific question in mind. I think I'm trans (ftm) but I'm battling myself on it. It's very hard for me to accept myself and I'm not sure what to do. Everyone seems so sure that they're trans and I'm wondering if anyone else is unsure. It feels like I'm trying to resist my transness and I don't know why. I just want to be very sure before I go through with any of this. I feel like I'm doing this for attention subconsciously as well. Not really a question but still. If anyone can relate please tell me. I feel very awkward right now.
Kromonex I was like that at the beginning of my transition, I tried so hard to deny it but you just have to let go, because it’ll only cause more pain. Also, people may not talk about this, but I’m 10 months on T and still experience doubts. I think it’s just who I am as a person, I have to question and analyze everything. It’s a good thing, just make sure you don’t get too caught up in it, it’s nearly impossible to know anything with certainty. You’ll be alright, good luck :-)
Kromonex same
Thank you! It just seems like everyone is so sure of themselves and im not.
i felt the exact same way for... i'd say 4 years now. finally accepted myself as ftm. good luck on your journey my friend, wherever it takes you
If you say no the feeling will probably get stronger
What do you do if your mom claims to be supportive and then says it’s just a phase in the next sentence? Also I’m not out as transgender, just sexuality for my family and my mom keeps asking me if I’m trans...
Similar situation. My mom doesnt want me to start gender therapy. I just clarify why I feel this way and how long I've felt this way. Just give her time to think and learn. Good luck:)
Education is key. Explain to her how you feel. Make sure she knows what's going on in your head. If she knows how you feel, it'll be much easier for her to get a grip on your identity.
I’m in like the same exact situation
I'm really scared. I don't think I'm trans, necessarily, but I'm definitely not a girl. I don't like how feminine my body looks and I wish I was a guy a lot of the time. I like male pronouns more, I relate to more guys than girls at this point in my life, and I don't generally enjoy being called a "girl" or a "woman" at all.
But I'm NOT a guy. I don't think im trans.
I'm so confused, is this normal???? Is hating my chest normal?? I've been losing sleep over this for so long and I just want to find an answer already...
have you looked into agender or such identities? Being trans also isn't neccesarily you wanting to change every part of your body, their are other aspects and versions to it
Johnny Elmér I have,, but I'm afraid of being judged or seen as a "cringey SJW" ... where I live it's not accepted at all
I can relate 100%. I identify as nonbinary, but some other labels you might like are
-demiboy (mostly a boy, but not completely)
-nonbinary (not a girl is a boy)
-gender queer (nonbinary)
-agender (no real connection to gender
Just do some research and find people with various identities you can relate to
sOMeBoDy important most likely non-binary? Try doing a lot of research until you figure out and don’t be afraid to try stuff out. I don’t suggest taking T but maybe try being a pre-T guy for a while and see what you like. A lot of research if you want to go any farther on being a guy. Hope this helps and hope you figure it out:)
Maybe you are non-binary or androgynous. I feel similarly. I feel masculine-androgynous most of the time, that's the the term that best suits me.
I'm a trans pre-teen (FTM) and I used to have a friend that did not use my pronouns or my name. But they kept insisting that they supported me. But later then did I find out they are homophobic and that really hurt me. I went on youtube and I found your channel and that made me feel alot better. Thanks for always making my day, Jamie!
you’re literally such and inspiration the world needs MORE people like YOU jeeeeez
I wanted to let you know, that although I am not a member of the LGBT community. That I watch you and love learning from you. Your videos are uplifting and educational in a real genuine documentary almost way that websites and other you-tubers try to be.
"or I will" * dinosaur hands * "write it down below"
personally i hadn't had a very supportive history with my parents when i was a kid since they were super conservative religious, so i transitioned fully and came out after turning 18. So i never asked my parents anything. I felt i shouldn't warn them or anything because this is me taking charge of my life. I told them what i was doing never asked permission or asked for opinions. Gladly they were fine with everything i decided but i believe i really have to wait for no one for my life. They will get used to it with time, i thought, and they did.
I know this was specified for FtM, but a LOT of this is relevant to transfem people too
Your videos have really kept me going through my tough moments of dysphoria. im really thankful you provide these kind of videos and youve continued to be a huge inspiration to me when i feel confused, upset, or unhappy. thank you again and best wishes to you Jammidodger
jamie, you are such a huge inspiration to all the trans guys out there, and honestly you're doing the lord's work. keep it up, bro!
Thanks for this video! I love how you share so much information and educate others on these topics. I had to realize top surgery was on the horizon too and now I'm getting it next week! Btw I love those glasses! They look very nice on you ☺️
Thanks a lot for answering my question (and being such an amazing source of support and advice for trans people). I came out in February last year but my family and a few friends whom are supportive consistently get my name and pronouns wrong. But I am happy to say over the past few weeks they are making progress so patience really is the key!
Jamie you are awesome. I came out as Trans at the end of last year I'm older so my family and friends have a hard time with it but J felt like I was living as what everyone else wanted but now I'm living as I want. You have helped me so much In my transition. I have been brought to tears by some of your videos because it helped me understand myself. You are an inspiration to me. Stay awesome
every time i am about to watch jamie's videos i start to overthink everything and get dysphoric but then when i *actually* watch it i feel much better and reassured and good
Love the skull on your jumper 💀
Totally agree patience will need to be your best friend while transitioning. Dysphoria stinks, I also ignore what's there and remind myself it's only temporary. Also that there are others in the same position so it's not just me dealing with it.
You are an amazing person helping others with these serious questions. It is important. People look up to you and your opinion matters 💚❤️💜💙
Just watched your Living as Sims video (the link came up as I was sat here binge-watching Sims 4 stuff hehe) & thought I’d check out your channel as you both seem really cool. Had NO IDEA one of you was trans. NO CLUE.
You have such a beautiful positive approach here. These videos will help so many people. Thanks for being awesome! 😃
I can't believe I found this! Especially the part about changing your name, I'm quite confident in my decision about changing my name, good thing to know I should take some time with my parents.
Thank you so much for this video, for even though my question wasn't covered it's still an important one to have made. The subject of going to the men's bathroom is something I've struggled with since coming out as trans, but I've found it easier to do with time just as you suggested. There are still awkward moments where I'll pass someone at the urinal, but no one's said anything bad; I've had two cis guys hold the door open for me and acknowledge me as a dude. Anyway, much love to you!
What is the process of getting T like? How long did it take you from your first appointment (Mine's tomorrow!) to your first injection? Also, I know you've gotten top surgery, but if you can remember, what binder type would be the best? Love your videos!
The Fiadochi Aardvark Hey!! usually (in my experience) you will have 3 psychologist appointments and 1 doctors appointment before getting T, so timing depends on the time between your appointments. In relation to binders, I’ve always used GC2B
Same for the binders for me!
My first appointment at the trans clinic was in May of last year but I also started seeing a new psychiatrist and once he approved that I was good to go (after adjusting some other medications) I started in september. If you already have a psychiatrist or psychologist you can have them write you a note for your doctor to prescribe hormones. Also I use GC2B and exclusively the half tanks not the whole ones bc I'm always hot
Ah dude I’m so proud of you! How’s everything now?
i have a NHS question that i'm kinda looking for advice about: i changed my name and pronouns via deep poll about 2 and a half years ago, and started T just over 2 years ago, however i got a letter from the NHS saying i cant change my pronouns without somewhat revoking my access to healthcare that is "typically" female. This was really confusing and scary for me, so i just left it. but now, 2 years on, im still receiving prescriptions labelled "miss" (same with appointments and letters) and it's really concerning cause im /mostly/ stealth (my flatmate doesnt even know, ive been scared in case a letter comes through) plus its really dysphoric. Does anyone know what that letter actually means and how i would go about changing my pronouns without limiting my healthcare?
Hey, I haven't dealt with specifically what you've got going on, but I have been told by my GP that I will have to push to get certain health checks because I'm down as male on the system.
I never got a letter from the NHS though, probably would have been useful haha.
Not sure if there is a way to change your pronouns without affecting automatic healthcare. I'm pretty sure (from what I've been told) that you can still get access to relevant health care, you just won't get the automatic reminders that you would if you didn't change your pronouns.
I would recommend calling your GP practice - it may be that they can make a note on your records or something so you don't lose out on any healthcare/reminder?
He’s like a ray of sunshine
I love it
Thank you so much for this! 💕
Not a question, but I just really wish gender neutral bathrooms were more of a thing. Any time I come across a non gendered bathroom I just breathe the hugest sigh of relief. As a non-binary person I feel super uncomfortable using the women’s room, but there is no way in hell I’m going in the men’s. Also I feel like my presence in the women’s room sometimes makes others uncomfortable even though I am afab. I do present more on the masculine side and don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable I just need to pee 😕
SAME. Once I want to the woman's restroom @ I hop and this little girl screamed "MOM, WHY IS THERE A BOY IN HERE?"
Ahhh same! I'm questioning myself if i want to atleast try to use the mens restroom....but I'm soooO scared and im not sure how I feel or make others feel in the bathroom. Though my dad used to take me to the mens restroom when i was really young (prolly like 1-3) if my mom didnt want to take me. So ive been in there before...
ILY JAMIE
Thanks for the video ! I really appreciated this video 😊 I have a question and it’s kind of difficult to answer so I understand if you don’t/can’t answer it !
How would you transition (medically) while still being stealth to everyone in your life ? What would you do or say to people who question things or ask questions ? There’s many people that are transphobic & homophobic in my family and I’m not really out to anyone so I don’t know how to go about my transition in regards to that...
Love you Jamie 💗
Unspoken Voices i wish i knew how to answer you're question. I know some people have paid for their own transition without anyone knowing, but it depends on how old or independant you are.
Thank you so much! All of this really helped me.
Great informative video, well done.
I love your videos!
There's an alternative to binders that can be worn at night and while showering. It's called transtape transtape.life you can apply one or two strips to each side and it will last for 5 days, it's sort of like kt tape but it's made specifically for binding. You do have to let your skin breath after the 5 days before applying new strips. You also have to be careful when putting them on and taking it off, I'm not entirely sure what the method is, it's described on the website and there's UA-cam videos that demonstrate it. When taking it off, don't pull it as fast as possible like you would with a plaster, you have to slowly oil the edges, peal and oil more until it comes off.
Hey Jamie! Firstly I wanna thank you for being so candid and generous with sharing this part of your life with us.
In regards to birth names, if your birth name was a commonly unisex name, such as Jamie, or Alex, Morgan, Darcy, Taylor etc., If you had a unisex birth name (like if your birth name was already Jamie) would you keep that name post transition? Is it common for trans people with unisex names to keep their birth names?
Thx! I’m a young trans guy (like literally in middle school) and I came out to my parents recently (two? Three? Days ago) as Trans and their immediate reaction was supportive but no T or Surgery or hormone blockers till I’m over 18. …which honestly pissed me off a little. (I have hence been binge watching you and Noah Finnce videos to keep my mind of the fact that I can’t do anything for another 4 or 5 years) anyways this video was super helpful thank u so much!!!!
You give me so much hope. Im trans pre t. And it feels so confusing. Your videos give me direction and hope. Thank you so much.
My parents tell me I'm not mature enough to decide and that I'm influenced by my friends. I hate it
Kelly Gang I'm sorry. But if you really have body dysphoria, you know in your heart you are the gender you feel. And that's all that matters right now. When you grow up you can be a man or a woman or whoever you were mean to be.
KoatsAndGoats TheEdgyGoat thank you so much
I like serious videos from you very much appreciated.
Jamie, do the nerves in you chest every go back to normal...it’s been about 5 months since surgery and I still feel numb in the pecks.
Also do your areola lay flat on your chest or are they raised up...I don’t think mine look natural but the doctor said that’s “normal”...
Thanks as always for sharing!
Concerning showering, I’ve arrived at a place where my dysphoria is so extreme that I put off showering to the point where I only do it every 10 days. I know it’s absolutely disgusting, and I hate myself for it. But it really goes to show how debilitating dysphoria can be.
I'm FTM questioning along with Androgynous questioning. How do I know? I'm starting to go to gender therapy soon, but I still have no idea what I want or am.
Congrats on gender therapy:)
It's totally okay to not know, but some labels you might want to look into are
-nonbinary
-genderqueer
-demiboy
-agender
Best of luck and no rush
jasmine 261 i feel like if you can see yourself as a 50 year old man, you're probably a trans dude. also, dont worry about labels. ive had gender therapy and its been really helpful with figuring myself out, they just ask you questions that make you think about yourself and after a while you'll have it all figured out. best of luck! :)
My first ever experience in the mens bathroom was at a 6th grade dance. So I went with my friends all of them preferred the womens bathroom so I went into the bathroom alone but my friend that presented feminine followed me in. There was another guy and he yelled at my friend to get out and they got out. I went to the stall and started using the bathroom and my 4TH PERIOD TEACHER walked in and the boy told him about the “girl” walking in (not me my friend) and my teacher walked up to the stall door and knocked thinking I was the girl. And the boy told him the girl already gotten out and the teacher left. This was at the beginning of the school year this year 😭 still can’t go into the mens bathroom without getting scared
Thank you for this Jamie. Just wondering, when would be the next bottom update?
As a gay person, I never had any support from family, neglect at best was my experience. Irish Catholic mom and non-religious father. I made my own way, screw everyone else. I think a trans person has to be their own support system many times. Being strong and plow forward thru life. You only have to satisfy ONE person in this life and that is YOU! Don't let people who don't respect get to you, if they can't accept you then they have no place in your life. Be your own man and live life to the fullest, happiness to you should be your goal.
great video!
i didn't hear you address my question and i am curious if you could talk about it...if you could talk about others' perceptions of your anxiety (social or otherwise) at various stages of transition? what i mean is do you think people read or interpret your anxiety differently now that you are read as male vs female? i myself am a very anxious person, also a transguy, and i am interested in hearing your thoughts. i also think the idea of anxiety being "acceptable" to certain genders is ridiculous but interesting in how those norms are perpetuated....do you think anxiety is somehow more/less valid based on the gender of which people are reading you?
I get what you're saying, but I'm not sure how to answer. I hope that's in a video:)
I worry about how my personality (including anxiety) will be interpreted differently through the lense of "male" instead of "female"
I'd really really appreciate info on metoidioplasty if that's a topic you'd be comfortable talking about
finn4thewin Jammi has made a few videos about this. If you want more information I'd recommend you Leo Mateus' videos about it!
David Rocks thank you, I've seen Leo's video it was very well made, I'm just hoping for a video where Jamie speaks specifically about metoidioplasty
Hey! I did a video a while back on lower surgery, before I had it, and I'm pretty sure it covered roughly what each type achieves. Here is the link: ua-cam.com/video/M4OKx1wJur8/v-deo.html
But also, I will be making more metoidioplasty related videos going forward, like healing updates, Q&A's, why I chose it etc. I just don't want to spam you guys with too much penis talk haha.
Jammidodger haha, thank you so much, I really appreciate it
Hi Jaime! Did you ever do voice training before you started T? Do you have any tips for voice training?
Hey, I personally didn't do any voice training, but did find myself naturally talking in a (ever so slightly) deeper voice after I came out haha. I don't have any specific tips, but I have heard it's something you should be careful with and get some professional advice as it can cause damage if done incorrectly.
Some tips I've learned:
-breath
-sing along with artists with deepish voices
-simply try talking or reading while using a deeper voice
- Try not to bind
-OCCASSIONALY stretch your neck
good luck:)
Also she still to this day calls me her “Daughter” and when she introduced her friends to me as her “Daughter” .
I think the biggest challenge with being trans for me is the self-doubt and wondering if i'm actually trans, so hearing the "feminine as a kid" thing was very nice. The fact that I don't really suffer from gender dysphoria doesn't help with my self-doubt (and I know dealing with dysphoria is like, a hundred times worse than dealing with self-doubt, I'm not trying to compete with that or anything), since my friend at school (who is transfem) said that a dysphoria diagnosis and being on medication for it is a requirement for being trans. Not sure if that's true. I heard that dysphoria is a requirement to get top and bottom surgery as well, which really bummed me out because I still want to be comfortable regardless of whether I have dysphoria or not. Obviously, I do understand prioritizing people with dysphoria, though.
On the flip side, finding out my gender identity really, really made me feel like I found a missing piece of myself. When I was younger, I was a very feminine child and loved being a girl, however it felt like something in my life was missing and I wasn't sure what. Even after finding out about how transgender is a thing, I didn't think that's what I was until much, much later. Now I'm just very happy to have that knowledge.
Sorry for the weird ramble, but this is a wonderful video.
A couple things
I go to school in a very small class(it's cosmetology) with a girl who has my birth name. The hardest part for me was actually not responding to it. Now I don't respond to it at all.
A few weeks ago I went into a men's restroom bc I'd done it plenty of times before and figured this would be fine as well, but this man made a snide comment at me and I got so upset I didn't even use the restroom I just walked out of the building and went somewhere else. So I'd say if you are used to using the restroom in a more liberal environment and you go somewhere that might be less accepting, women are way less likely to say anything to you in those places (for ftm and mtf) or find a family bathroom. All Starbucks and chipotles have single stall restrooms and i figure if you live in the US you will find one fairly quickly.
Also my biggest pet peeve is when people in my class refer to the other guy in my class as the only guy. He tends to correct them which is nice but the girls tend to forget that I'm a guy bc I'm a tad more into the feminine sides of cosmetology. But heck it's beauty school, of course I'm into hair and makeup!
Question:
I've been debating about whether I'm trans or not for about three years, and the things that have always stopped me from talking to family and friends about it because I am terrified of change. Talking to family would make what I think permanent in a way, and what if I change my mind? It's highly unlikely, but once I make the decision to tell somebody I know, then it's not something I can take back and I'm so scared. The reason it's been a topic im always so on the fence about it because I've never had a violent reaction towards being deadnamed. Hearing my birth name sometimes hurts, and othertimes I forget it's something to be concerned about. I feel like a boy, and I want people to address me as one, but I'm my head I always address myself as female and deadnaming myself and whenever I catch myself doing it I cringe because isn't it something that I should not be doing if I'm actually trans? Sorry for the long message
Same. If being seen as a boy is what feels right, talk to somebody who is open. If that changes, it's perfectly fine. I totally get what your saying about coming out, but saying it out loud can help you feel more concrete in your identity. Come out when your as ready as you can be:)
I hope your happy now God bless you my bro
Im living in Narnia right now. But im getting my hair cut short next week! Yay
Its quite ironic that i found your account years ago before i knew anything about lgbtq+ and now im here a few years later realising im trans ftm
The wait for T would be an issue for me.
Thinking how I would be in my local cafe.
Hi Jamie,
I came out as trans 2 years ago, and I have just started Testosterone about a month ago. How do you come out to people (at school) that you don't necessarily know? Like, if someone in my class says "she" how do I correct them without making a big scene in front of my class?
Hudson Somerlott I just told my friends and other people heard my name and asked and it just kind of spread. When somebody uses the wrong name/pronoun, maybe talk to them after class or something. Good luck:)
When I was hating my chest and relating to female gender things, there was to availability of information as there is now. I have had a few lesbian relationships. But I'm not sure that it completes me.
As I was growing and reaching puberty, I hated the idea of a bra and was unaware of binders or even finding an Ace bandage (elastic) that I could wrap myself in. The more I listen to trans ftm, it makes so much sense to me. I'm trying to figure out how to tell my girlfriend, of 21 years. She has no idea what I'm going through. I am generally better at writing than speaking and was thinking of telling her in a letter.
But her reaction I'd have to deal with while I'm at work.
Thanks for your videos
My ma sister and dad wont really open up and tell me how they feel. My dad just shoves me off my sister lectures me, and my mom says things to the fact of "are you trying to hurt me?" And aswell as "do you wanna go to hell?" But it has only been 5 months since i came out but they force me into girl clothes aswell and i once found my binder in my moms drawer after it being gone for a month so yeah juuust struggling with the unsupportive family pretty much. My friends that I've told are cool with it and my younger foster brother doesn't care if im green, purple or gay to be honest.. i do have some online friends that are really supportive, they are what keeps me going amidst my unsupportive family
I’m not trans but this is so interesting Jammi or Jamie lol ^^
Hi, so I am currently in a situation where I'm out to my friends, and out to my mum (she didn't handle it very well at first, but she's getting better with it) now I'm trying to convince her to get me a binder, but she is sure that binders are dangerous and not good to use. How do I explain to her that they're not so bad, and that I really need one to feel comfortable?
My moms the same way about gender therapy. Honestly, I don't have any advice. Maybe save up some money and but one without her knowing?
Good luck :)
i'm in the same position, my mom won't let me get a binder, ask a trusted friend if you can ship it to their house, and havs them give it to you at school. if you can't do that, try sports bras. layer 2, or wear 1 tight one (not too tight), and removing the cups helps with binding. i use sports bras, and they work decent. good luck!
EddieTheMoonChild you should be honest about the risks of binders. i know she probably overestimates them, but they can still cause rib damage and long term issues if you dont bind properly. explain to her how you can bind safely, because it'll make her feel much more secure knowing that there are certain rules that she can look out for. really tell her the basics, dont bind over 8-10 hrs and dont wear it to sleep etc etc. also, choose a more popular brand with a good rep like GC2B, FLAVNT, underworks, or danae (if you're european). if she's still not convinced, send her some reviews from UA-cam or go over the reviews together. try to convince her that as long as you follow a basic set of rules, you most likely wont suffer any damage at all and all of the risks included are still worth it over your mental health. good luck! :)
Remind her that it’s the safest way to bind, and that you need to bind,
If all else fails
Get one secretly
I was in the same boat for a while. My parents were supportive but didnt understand that binding was important. I binded with multiple sports bras and compression tank tops which is more harmful than most binders due to the excessive layers. In order to get them to understand i explained i want to bind safely and the safest way is with a proper binder. By the end of the convo they understood i was going to bind either way and they had to chose the thing that was the safest. A real binder
1) Advice on medical costs?
2) advice for DD Chest size for binding?
3) helpful exercises (for the chest area, preferably at home, cheap ones)?
4)your voice or face making it look/sound more male without make-up?
5) different types of bottom surgeries?
6) (not trans related) advice on gettng your own place?
7)advice on dancing more manly?
8) what is your advice about teeth? I have to wear braces so any tips would be greatful, also did you have surgery?
DarknessAndDeath I have DDs and I just wear a size larger binder than recommended. Also have to wear it for less time and do lots of chest and shoulder stretching. Also wearing slightly baggy shirts helps
I don't have tips on making your voice deeper but making your face more masc I can help with. Male faces tend to have stronger jaws and more angles so getting a haircut that is sharper and more angular can help a lot. I suggest going to a barber if you can, ask them to make your hairline more squared off. If you have a rounder face shape giving your hair more height will make it appear narrower and therefore more masculine. If you don't mind a little bit of makeup use bronzer under your jaw to make it appear sharper
Thank you very much, for your tips. They are very helpful. Thank you so much, I Appreciate it.
the first time going into a male room wash a try on room at ross, it was an amazing feeling but it took a lot of bravery. I wish everyone luck who is trying.
Going to come out before May (my birthday) and I worry just thinking about it 😂
How did it go?
2 questions:
Do you regret anything?
How to deal with dysphoria generally
*if your family says they support you no matter what, ask them if they’d support you if you where trans.*
hey Jamie, what is your advice on coming out to teachers and relatives other than parents??
I'm still pre T. Even when I first found out I was trans, I still felt a need to use the women's bathrooms. Idk. I was still nervous. Then when I started back at university, there was a bathroom that was always quiet by the music hall. I'd just use that one.
6:26
That's exactly what I did and that is how I met your channel
"Oh my God, I know, what's going on!" and
"Holy shit..." is the mood
does anyone have any experience with being pre-t and going on birth control to stop shark week? i get really bad dysphoria during that time, and at the moment where i am its really hard to access treatment, but would going on borth control make dysphoria worse? like knowing your body is producing more estrogen when it should be testosterone? im thinking of starting it soon and if anyone has any thoughts lemme know thanks :)
Rey Devery I did and just stopped birth control when I started T and it was very nice. Birth control also does other things for me to alleviate dysphoria like my breasts would swell when I was ovulating and they stopped doing that. It's also good to think of it not as taking estrogen but as keeping it at a steady level
💛💛
I'm coming out in a few days through a letter, but I'm really scared for my mom's reaction. I've tried coming out before but she didn't take it well.. She has problems with managing her anger. I am supposed to be out of the house that day but it's looking like that might not happen, I don't want to put it off any longer (I've known for over 3 years now) but I am terrified. What should I do and how can I put my mind at ease a bit?
Is there any way to get a binder without parents knowing?
How do you get over the fear of judgement from your family, friends and people you know from social media. I have a lot of anxiety so the thought of coming out, being vulnerable and showing my actual self to the world is the most terrifying thing but I know that I won’t be happy until I do it. Any advice would be helpful.
I came out as FTM when I was like 10 and my mum used to be quite a tomboy. She said "I used to feel the same, you'll grow out of it it's just a phase". I felt so much pressure and anxiety coming out to my family again when I was 14 that I had to message them over Facebook to come out. When I sent my dad the message I burst into tears and my mum gave me the biggest hug. Thankfully everyone supports me and I am eternally grateful for that privillage. Hope if you came out it went well
So my friends mum (helped?) told my mum that I “wanted to be a boy” and my mum was meh with it. (This was like last week.) and I don’t think my mum understands because my friends mum used the phrase “wants to be a boy.” So my mum has almost like completely ignored it or forgotten about it because she doesn’t know how I truly and and feel. Should I write a letter fully explaining what I am and how I feel? (Ik obviously). But me and my mum aren’t close or anything. I can’t talk to her about personal stuff. I never have been. So how do I come out to my mum when our relationship is awkward and not close like a lot of other people are. ?
How to deal with being ashamed of being trans?
maix29 understand that your trans-ness is not at all what makes you you. it's just a small, but beautiful, peice of the puzzle. Try to focus on the peices that you like, but try to remember that there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being trans.
Just know that your strong as fuck for having to go through this and there are so many people out there or on the internet who will love and support u no matter what.
My sister insists that she'd trying her hardest to call me by my name, but she hasn't EVER called me by it. In the beginning, I quietly and consistently reminded her, but she just got pissed because of my reminding. She said she would call me by my corrct name if I stopped reminding her; that has not happened. It's been months. I came out to her as nonbinary, and she, even though I've attempted to talk and explain it, refuses to believe it's a thing. What do I do? She's now my ex-best friend because of her refusal, but we're siblings. I can't get away...
I'm so sorry, I can kind of relate. I wish I had advice we could both use:/
Should I wear a bra under my binder? Because my mom says I should, but I am confused....
*Edit* I am happier then I've been in a long time because my personal hero has responded to me!!!!!!
Seth Sears no especially not a wire one if your worried about rubbing I've found wearing a thin sports bar with no padding under the binder helps and prevents from rubbing so much but no binders and stuff normally over a bare chest with no under garments
I've never heard of people doing this, and it sounds pretty uncomfortable, so I probably wouldn't. You do typically just wear a binder straight on your skin like you would a vest, but you can wear a lightweight t-shirt/vest under it if it chafes your skin etc. Just make sure you don't overheat! :)
Jammidodger thanks! I didn't think you would actually respond to me! I'm very happy now!
I wouldnt, at least not one that's thick or tight
I'm 13 and trans, and I have *a lot* of questions about T. My main question is, when is too early to start T? When did you start on T?
I just told my best friend and she was so nice I’m pretty happy right now lol
Why am I scared to come out even if i know my parents completely support the trans community?
Jamie is our trans dad❤️
How do you get a binder if you are not out to your parents, and can't order things online?
about being happy on t. I am 2, nearly 3 month on T and my depression is nearly as bas as before my coming out to myself, it wasn't that strong in years. I feel like after all this waiting, changes are still not really visible (the only thing that happend is my voice slightly cracking and i got some random hair on my beard and moustache) and i feel like i will never pass as a guy. Am i the only person who feel that way at the beginning of taking testosterone, or is this pretty common thing?
Adam Ignacy pretty common before the changes really start kicking in because starting T is basically quitting the waiting game to start T-but starting the waiting for visible changes! the waiting right after starting T personally made me very hyper aware of what i was dysphoric about because i was watching for changes so closely. ( im a trans guy been on T a year and a half)
I'm pre-T, so I don't have any experience, but I'd say it's totally normal. Changes will come. Good luck :)
Adam Ignacy I'm in a similar place where I'm 4 months on T and I am having all this acne and my voice is awful and I'm scared I made a mistake
Jessie B maybe wait a bit longer and/or take a break from testosterone and see how it feels. Just do what feels right.
from what I got told at my GIC, most changes dont really start until the 3 month (ish) mark, so id say wait a bit longer and if youre still worried talk to your doctor, but changes are gonna take a while just like they do for cis puberty
what do you do if you've came out but your parents keep asking you why you don't like your birth gender but you don't know the answer?
Hey Jamie! I have a question. When is the right time to come out as transgender? My parent works at my school, so when I get at school she leaves the car there. I have written a letter I plan to give to her soon. I was wondering if I should wait till ahe is out of the car and put it on her seat. She will see it on her break. Now I am just wondering when is the right time. I'm FtM and in 6th grade if that helps you answer. Thanks Jamie!
I'm not Trans but I'm Genderfluid and my Mom and Grandparents are supportive but they don't use the name that I want to go by so this was helpful even for me
Hey =) Do you have any advice on coming to terms with yourself and getting rid of internalized transphobia? I would greatly appreciate any tips, have a lovely day!
Oh man, I can't hear my deadname in ANY capacity, even nickname versions and even if not referring to me. It bugs the shit out of me, cause if I KNOW it's not towards me it shouldn't bother me.
Pidge Garrett same
My sisters are so sweet! They are there for me.
My mom isn't .... She doesn't want to educate herself because it's "stressful"