Boundaries and Codependency- Harmony Dust

Codependency is a widespread, often unseen condition that wreaks havoc in people’s lives and relationships. In this video, Harmony Grillo shares her personal journey of overcoming codependency. She sheds light on common signs of codependency, practical steps to setting and maintaining healthy boundaries and the keys to developing healthy, reciprocal relationship with safe people.

[@gentlejenn84]

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[@Flowerchildliving]

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[@makemyburdenlight]

Sadly, Codependency has been blaming victims for over 70 years 😢. Codependency was a label made up by addicts/professionals from Alcoholics Anonymous, founded in 1935, and was then used by Al-Anon (Sister of AA) when it was formed in 1951. They believed wives of addicts were just as diseased, addicted and messed up as the addict, and therefore needed the exact same 12 steps treatment as the addict.
Basically, codependency is about as real as Hysteria/Wandering Womb. Meaning yes it's used a lot, and the word does exist in the dictionary, but the very foundation of what it is and what it MEANS is based in things that aren't true or real and that are incredibly victim blaming. 😢
For example, when it comes to Stockholm Syndrome, have you ever listened to the victims story of whom it was named after, Kristin Enmark? Hear HER tell the story (through a friend who spoke English)? It was awesome. She is a brave amazing woman. She didn't fall in love with her captor, that was all lies created by men. She was surviving. Yet some mysogynistic psychiatrist comes along and thinks she's not acting "scared" enough, and isn't behaving like he thinks a good little victim should, and so what does he do? He creates a syndrome to explain what he doesn't understand (and I personally think to get back at her for publicly snubbing him and the reckless police during the hostage😊). But guess what? He never once spoke to her in order to get her opinion or experience. She asked to speak to him and he refused to. He created a syndrome and a label founded on someone he never once spoke to 🤣🤯🤦 Oy, what a mess..
This is what I mean when I say that the very basis for Stockholm Syndrome isn't based on anything real. The foundation is built upon lies.
Same with codependency. If you go read the roots of the codependency model before the name was created, you'll find research papers from the 1890's, 1920's, 30's, 40's etc that were all based on incorrect information about women.
Misogynistic victim blaming labels only continue to harm victims. No matter how much it's definition is watered down or sugar coated, it's treatment has largely stayed the same and its foundation will ALWAYS be untrue and rooted in patriarchy 💗
Victim Blaming labels like codependency, Trauma Bonded, Stockholm Syndrome, Learned Helplessness, etc need to stop 😢🙏
Let me know if you're interested in knowing more, I have tons of resources about out 🤗

[@rewildrevolution]

I absolutely LOVE this and thank you so much for sharing this!!! I couldn’t agree more that the recovery models that most organizations use completely fail to address the deep rooted sexism, misogyny and patriarchal political and religious systems of power and control that have CREATED the sex industry to begin with. The irony is, most organizations aimed at ending sexual exploitation hand out bibles which are rampant with misogynistic views of women as sex objects, concubines, whores, sex slaves who can be bought and sold, used and abused by men, sub human, and whose only purpose is to give birth and live in servitude of men. It makes absolutely no sense. We need to be handing out Andrea Dworkin, Mary Daly & Kate Millett books at Strip Clubs & brothels - not Bibles worshiping the very same male hand that holds us down as women. I love the work you’re doing ladies but sadly, you’re not going deep enough and targeting the root of the problem. Hence the reason the industry continues to grow and gain more power. Indoctrination is a powerful drug.