Why the narcissist (almost always) chases you when you don't chase them

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  • Опубліковано 18 січ 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 95

  • @cajuncrackerranch7990
    @cajuncrackerranch7990 5 місяців тому +100

    Don’t chase, just erase.
    ☕️ Joe! Thank you 😊

  • @AlienCatTweets
    @AlienCatTweets 5 місяців тому +110

    I had a BF years ago that did just this. He would be around and then act like I didn't exist. Months would go by and I would meet someone else and as soon as Jim found out..here he would come all "I want you back". He did it to me on the eve of my wedding, begging me to not get married and he would marry me right now. I said NO THANKS.

    • @samscarletta7433
      @samscarletta7433 5 місяців тому +11

      Smart!🥂

    • @rachel0920
      @rachel0920 4 місяці тому

      What a cocky butthole for him to think that you would drop everything for him to just destroy what you built w this new beautiful person. The audacity, it’s sick

    • @alexramos1502
      @alexramos1502 4 місяці тому +1

      Oh lord, I think my ex boss is like. Ever seen since I quit on him 2x I’ve educated myself on NPD. I changed my number cuz days leading up to my resignation I was getting private calls non stop and now I think he figured out my new # cuz I’m already getting random phone calls.

  • @lovehonesty
    @lovehonesty 5 місяців тому +37

    Once you see, you can’t unsee.

  • @socalfriend6985
    @socalfriend6985 5 місяців тому +35

    I discarded myself and blocked him. Now I get to live my best life 🧬🌴💎

  • @smartsurvival2605
    @smartsurvival2605 5 місяців тому +43

    I don't want him, don't care, and hope I never hear from him again.

  • @warangel4389
    @warangel4389 4 місяці тому +13

    Moved 1282 miles away- no access- good riddance.

  • @callmeishmaelk767
    @callmeishmaelk767 5 місяців тому +17

    Their attempts at setting the record straight can be misconstrued as them actually being interested and torn about their feelings, nope, it's just them trying to look like the good guy and you as shit. The discard didn't go the way they wanted or expected. If you're dealing with a narcissist and they break up with you and you're like "ok, catch you never" that's going to be a huge problem for them.

  • @user-qs5hz4mf3p
    @user-qs5hz4mf3p 5 місяців тому +32

    When Narky comes back around discard them first. Now your strong and are valuable again. Do a reverse Narky on them show them karma. Your strong your smart always stay 2 steps ahead. Brain bust their each and every move to which you won't react...

    • @ainahaga
      @ainahaga 5 місяців тому +2

      😂😂😂 narky.. that was a good one I havent heard.

  • @johnpeden2039
    @johnpeden2039 5 місяців тому +20

    If you were grade A supply, they'll look for you in other people.. They'll never stop thinking of you.. Especially if they block you

  • @PrepperRapperFairy
    @PrepperRapperFairy 5 місяців тому +45

    I absolutely love your voice and your calm approach

  • @diannekevwitch6958
    @diannekevwitch6958 5 місяців тому +41

    Passing the test means you beat the devil at his game.

  • @ms.k7487
    @ms.k7487 5 місяців тому +40

    He thought I'd need him forever because I took him back so many times.
    He made a mistake in his thinking or prediction of my behavior. I finally woke up and respected myself.

    • @incognito595
      @incognito595 29 днів тому +1

      Yes!!!!!

    • @JoyHustles-cz3bn
      @JoyHustles-cz3bn 13 днів тому +1

      Go gal ....

    • @JoyHustles-cz3bn
      @JoyHustles-cz3bn 13 днів тому +1

      You deserve the best you have mirrored their behavior and you can't unsee it ....Their loss...

  • @Acquisitor
    @Acquisitor 5 місяців тому +16

    I was being chased by a female narcissist for three years when I was in my 20s. It didnt bother her that I had a relationship and that I was emotionally unavaiable.
    What bothered her was that I (contrary to many MANY other men) wasnt giving her 'attention'. She stalked me at my work and more.
    Then when she got tired/bored she started a smeer campagne against me online abd irl with her flying monkey friends.
    It was a very disturbing experience

  • @kellyandaaron2005
    @kellyandaaron2005 5 місяців тому +37

    Your channel soothes the soul. From the bottom of my ❤ Thank You!

    • @Sarah_sunshine14
      @Sarah_sunshine14 5 місяців тому +5

      Well said. You really do soothe the soul Joe. 🙏🏻❤️

  • @eleawood4083
    @eleawood4083 5 місяців тому +21

    Love your expression and explanation of this ….lived this for 20 years and he still comes for me it never ever ends . It’s a prison

    • @Jennifer-xl5fh
      @Jennifer-xl5fh 5 місяців тому +1

      Wow 😲 what a woman to do when they are enamored by them ....whilst ...the explosive anger 😠🤬 and abject rage is omniously present. But this is revelation to the discerning eye can listening ear during those moments 😊

  • @incognito595
    @incognito595 29 днів тому +1

    They get all shocked when you finally walk away and stand up for your dignity and self worth. Then they probanly Ramp Up the Smear Campaign.

  • @user-uz2ur5jh7i
    @user-uz2ur5jh7i 3 місяці тому +3

    No contact is the ONLY way to be free…..

  • @BeTheLight624
    @BeTheLight624 4 місяці тому +5

    When I went no contact, the narc refused to accept it and tried 37 times to hoover me in various ways. The narc was not having the loss of control, trying to overpower me, disrespecting me and my request to be left alone.
    The narc predator ignored no contact on every level to show who is in control, paying me back for leaving first, having the last word/laugh, without showing his face. Every no contact boundary I requested was violated several times, disrespecting/devaluing/humiliating me at many levels. This was his last blow, taking his power back, ending things on his terms on his way home. It reaffirms I did the right thing.
    I did not break my no contact or unblock. I am sure if I had accepted a hoover it would have turned into an excruciatingly painful slam dunk discard by the narc. I'm sharing this to prove your point about the narcs hatred of loosing control.

  • @ratgirl13
    @ratgirl13 5 місяців тому +25

    Beautiful visuals. Good video Joe, thank you.

  • @Bleepbloopblarp
    @Bleepbloopblarp 5 місяців тому +21

    I’ve been studying hard for months now and I aced this last test!
    💯😌✨

  • @dennisweikel2566
    @dennisweikel2566 3 місяці тому +4

    Joe, appreciate your videos.
    One topic that you might not have touched on during the point where you are applying no contact is the desire to be loved by the narcist. Its only when your self love is high enough that you don't need or want someone's attention.

  • @yowhatupmain
    @yowhatupmain 3 місяці тому +5

    I’m sure it backfired on her. She probably wanted me to chase after her fake discard.
    I never did. That’s why she won’t come back she will act as if it’s what she always wanted.

    • @wmhhealth2018
      @wmhhealth2018 3 дні тому

      At least 50% of the time they are bluffing and don't actually have an adequate replacement for us. Always give them the discard because they are usually just using it as a manipulation. When you accept the discard it is check and mate.

  • @myfreedom3297
    @myfreedom3297 5 місяців тому +17

    If you can, just let go and move on

    • @IsabellaPiesch
      @IsabellaPiesch 5 місяців тому +1

      ‼That´s the way it should be! Move on and never look back.

  • @bonnieadams5516
    @bonnieadams5516 5 місяців тому +9

    I really love this channel...

  • @Nisi.Dominus.Frustra
    @Nisi.Dominus.Frustra 5 місяців тому +4

    ALMOST always is key here. NOT ALWAYS is best.

  • @Ms_NewOrleans
    @Ms_NewOrleans 24 дні тому

    💫Ex narc did me the same way. But when I finally woke up and saw through all his bull crap and lies and evil and manipulation and headgames it has been good riddance forever to that demon narc🤡. I could care less about narc and what he does who he sees more power to whoever deals with him and his roller coaster of toxic hell. It's not me no longer and I thank GOD to have that demon parasite out my life for good and that's what matters to me and I have my peace and power and happiness 🙂💯!!! Nolalower9Ward ⚜️⚜️

  • @octavia9464
    @octavia9464 4 дні тому

    You explained this so well!! This is all so spot on!!!! Thank you!!! 🎉😊

  • @heartofgoldonfire
    @heartofgoldonfire 5 місяців тому +9

    Thanks for your videos Joe, they help me a lot.

  • @incognito595
    @incognito595 29 днів тому

    Don't spend a Minute more thinking about them! They have already cost you too much of your precious life!

  • @phantomshenanigans2337
    @phantomshenanigans2337 5 днів тому

    There was a guy who I never even meet wanted me to go on a date with him he asked thru a mutual freind I declined the date. This guy when on a hate campaign and even tried to get me fired from my job. He was relentless for months he still creeps me out to this day.

  • @missbcritiques9209
    @missbcritiques9209 5 місяців тому +7

    Just on time!!!!

  • @laurabenjamin260
    @laurabenjamin260 3 місяці тому

    Luv your channel!

  • @isabelolsson1890
    @isabelolsson1890 5 місяців тому +3

    Spot on ❤

  • @judithmcdaniel7343
    @judithmcdaniel7343 5 місяців тому +2

    They need to test themselves.

  • @terrierdelphine4682
    @terrierdelphine4682 Місяць тому +1

    1 time i came back after he went to a friends wedding without me. . 8 months laters he discarded me for no reason. I never came back and he tried to call me .i never replied and i never listed his last message. I wish him to co tinue his poor life

  • @roselakmad
    @roselakmad 5 місяців тому +3

    RUN!!!!😂

  • @joseyndaba5076
    @joseyndaba5076 4 місяці тому

    PROFOUND!

  • @reneejkd
    @reneejkd 2 місяці тому

    They stop that quick when you forward their texts to the new supply. Threatening wasn’t enough. I did it. They’ll still try sneakier Hoover’s for a while but eventually give up.

  • @Bo00si33
    @Bo00si33 5 місяців тому +16

    Hi Joe. I'm hoping u can answer this question. I had to force him to let me go bc I involved police, testified and there's been a restraining order since 2020. It expires in December. Should I be worried? could he be plotting?

    • @keithsharratt3402
      @keithsharratt3402 5 місяців тому +9

      Yes!
      "While we plan and dream , they plot and scheme"

    • @ratgirl13
      @ratgirl13 5 місяців тому +12

      I’m not Joe but I would tell you never let your guard down, if you can continue the restraining order do so especially if you live in the same state- maybe, ask a lawyer. Hope this helps.

    • @Mrs-Bungle
      @Mrs-Bungle 5 місяців тому +11

      I know I'm not Joe, but I thought I'd reply out of experience:
      Be prepared to record anything he does to get close to you. (Security cams, voice recorders, screenshot on your phone, etc) Even if it seems friendly - record everything.
      If he does try to come back, go back to the police and push for another restraining order. There has already been a restraining order, so they will have grounds to put it back in place ASAP. If you have any health professionals working with you, explain how you feel and ask them to write a letter/email to police on your behalf, explaining the gravity of the situation, the impact it has had and importance of your safety and mental wellbeing. I hope this helps and I really wish you all the peace and safety that you need, AND deserve!
      Much love from Scotland ❤️🫶🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

    • @mostHigh23
      @mostHigh23 5 місяців тому +3

      Definitely be worried and yes he's plotting😢. That's just how they roll baby.

    • @Mrs-Bungle
      @Mrs-Bungle 5 місяців тому +3

      ​@@mostHigh23 ​ Please be mindful of your use of words 🙏😢
      Your comment might evoke further anxieties..

  • @user-tf3qo3el5u
    @user-tf3qo3el5u 5 місяців тому +10

    Can you talk about why the marry so soon after discarding you. He got married three months after the discard. And she is definitely a downgrade...I dont understand. Was it to fill a void?

    • @lioubovgrant1935
      @lioubovgrant1935 5 місяців тому +11

      It was to piss you off. Say pray to God on your knees , that this was not you he got married to.

    • @user-qs5hz4mf3p
      @user-qs5hz4mf3p 5 місяців тому +11

      You were 2 strong. You were grade A. You have self love, self respect, your strong, confident, and smart. What does Narky usually do is what Narky always downgrade to the sure thing weak doormat. Believe Narky loves that strength trait you posses. Narky is always in survival mode takes the sure thing. Narky tries though always wants what they can't have...

    • @user-qs5hz4mf3p
      @user-qs5hz4mf3p 5 місяців тому

      What is there to understand anyway were talking about mentally ill folks aren't we??

    • @Jackmcars12
      @Jackmcars12 2 місяці тому +1

      @@lioubovgrant1935I had one try and marry on my bday for spite. How it turns out down the road I wonder.

    • @user-vp7kn3js4x
      @user-vp7kn3js4x Місяць тому

      Why do they do anything?
      Because they are insane/evil creeps 🤮

  • @1111spiritualone
    @1111spiritualone 5 місяців тому +3

    would this pertain to toxic people that i’m unsure is a full blown narcissist?

  • @user-gw3ip8fq3y
    @user-gw3ip8fq3y 4 місяці тому +2

    My narcissist was confident quite opposite I was totally independent we were not in a relationship as he was damaged by slag ex 8yrs ago so no women since but in out mind games silence had enough bye.

  • @galaxy98765
    @galaxy98765 5 місяців тому +8

    I exchanged emails with a man for a couple of years who lives in Europe, so, on the opposite side of the earth from me, which means we never met in person.
    He wasted NO time in showing me his true colors: he was a "sexual narcissist". You wouldn't believe some of the things he engages in, wants to do, and bragged about.
    I always figured he had a "sex addition", but didn't know until recently that there is a name for what he is, until I saw an article on "sexual narcissists". Yep, that's him. I don't think he was into anything criminal, but still ..... geez!

    • @littleleafyleaf
      @littleleafyleaf 5 місяців тому +4

      I’ve heard of it being referred to as a ‘Somatic Narcissist’ too. Glad you escaped that one!

    • @galaxy98765
      @galaxy98765 5 місяців тому +3

      @@littleleafyleaf Me, too! Thank you! (I think I will look up "Somatic narcissist").

    • @staciacrick3373
      @staciacrick3373 5 місяців тому

      @@littleleafyleaf
      Somatic narcissists obtain supply through their bodies.

  • @ricksandoval1187
    @ricksandoval1187 4 місяці тому +1

    Have 2 kids with her. Oh well. Gotta focus on slef improvement and making $ now. The kids will need me when grown. I'll be ready.

  • @GRIZZYHENDRIX
    @GRIZZYHENDRIX 5 місяців тому +5

    Man you need to have classes so someone can call you fam

  • @glennosborn8400
    @glennosborn8400 5 місяців тому +7

    Do they always have backup Supply???

    • @ladyvirgo9514
      @ladyvirgo9514 5 місяців тому +7

      Yes

    • @goboudou
      @goboudou 5 місяців тому +7

      Yes

    • @ms.k7487
      @ms.k7487 5 місяців тому +7

      Always. Even when they met you.

    • @ladyvirgo9514
      @ladyvirgo9514 5 місяців тому

      @johannaakra7464 my husband of 12 years moved in immediately with his coworker, He had been grooming her behind my back. Cowards

    • @antoinettegorman8833
      @antoinettegorman8833 5 місяців тому +5

      Yes

  • @Flips44
    @Flips44 5 місяців тому +6

    My ex narc said she didn’t want nothing to do with me so what does that mean then

    • @lioubovgrant1935
      @lioubovgrant1935 5 місяців тому

      This is a good news for you , who the hell cares what it means, nothing good for you for sure, more using and abusing.

    • @user-qs5hz4mf3p
      @user-qs5hz4mf3p 5 місяців тому

      She presently doesn't. She wanted to destroy you. She's probably giving the new supply all her energy love bombs. If you want her to come back around DON'T chase. And when she does come back around looking to play with her old toy Discard her before she discards. That's how you have fun with narky. Your valuable now...

    • @user-qs5hz4mf3p
      @user-qs5hz4mf3p 5 місяців тому

      She's projecting her trashy self onto you. "I don't want anything to do with you," like your the scummy one. You got upset in your reaction now Narky feels better your the trashy one. Had you stood your ground and NOT REACTED she would have seen your strength and probably would have love bombed you all over again. Narky knows that the strong confident secure person DOESN'T REACT..

    • @ceyciemateo9411
      @ceyciemateo9411 5 місяців тому +9

      Don’t believe it

    • @Flips44
      @Flips44 5 місяців тому

      @@ceyciemateo9411 ok I won’t no more, thank you for the reply. It means a lot

  • @lioubovgrant1935
    @lioubovgrant1935 5 місяців тому +9

    Finally !!! Its hard to wait when you not posting videos , it seams like i was waiting forever, when it is only a few days 😊. Thank you, now everything is back to normal ! 🤗❤ 17.2K !!! 🍾🥂

  • @narcssuckass
    @narcssuckass 5 місяців тому +3

    Im just sorry I didn't get out earlier